Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.60 - National Championship Recap

Episode Date: January 11, 2017

The Clemson-Alabama rematch was so entertaining and interesting that this might be our least joke-filled episode...ever? We got too caught up admiring Deshaun Watson, and Clemson's receivers, and how their defense played spectacularly for so long that the offensive line could pick itself off the mat when they needed to. We even have lots of positive things to say about Alabama! It's all very confusing and probably a sign that we need to sleep way more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. You're listening to the last fullcast recorded the 2016-17 season that will actually have anything to do with a game that we watched. It was a good one, though. We get to end with the national title. Joining me, as always, I'm Spencer Hall of SB Nation and EDSBS.com. I wrote a thing on the game, which was really fun, because it turns out my wife, being very kind, got me some coffee.

Because, you know, it's going to be a late game. And you know that Clemson, they like to run a lot of plays. And if the game's going to go well for them, they're going to run a lot of plays, and that makes a longer game. Particularly when you have ABC, ESPN selling ads against all this, we're going to be taking some pretty luxurious commercial breaks from time to time. And in doing so, you're going to have to be up late. So did the pregame nap, and my wife kindly gave me,

some cold brew, right? Are you familiar with the cold brew? It's like the Regis Philbin question, right? Have you heard of the cold brew? Yeah, I mean, it's a Regis Philbin question in the sense that, yes, old man, we definitely have heard of the cold bro. Have you tried it?

Have you tried the cold bro? Oh, boy. What is that? What is that? It's like some Midwestern meal. Like hot plate. Cold scruple. Lukewarm ditch.

Yeah, that's a cold. brew is cold-brewed coffee, which is very smooth. Strong, but very smooth. And I tried it, you know, because I didn't try it. I drank it because I'm obviously deeply familiar with every stimulant on the planet. And I will tell you this to your reader, it was good. Which is a weird thing to say, considering you watch a lot of Florida offense. But anyway, please continue. How do you think I managed to make it at all about it? It's Ryan Nanny, by the way, roasting me for liking the team that he's. he allegedly likes. Hi, Ryan.

Hi, I miss you. Love you, son. Also chiming in there with the old man vibes. Hey, Jason Kirk, our college football editor, how are you doing? Hey, so the season's over. So that part's good. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Now, I will tell you, my season lasted a little bit longer than yours because

the cold brew coffee that I consumed an entire bottle of, It was espresso. How late did you stand? So I got my thing done at about 4 a.m. Spencer and I were both up until at least 5 a.m. Wow. We were talking edits on this thing. Yeah.

And that's a full, having awakened at 6 and only taken a 20-minute nap in between at 6 a.m. I was awake at 5.30 a.m. And I was up so late that I took the garbage out at 5.30 a.m. And my neighbors were getting up to go to the gym, my like earlier neighbors. So Davoswini turned you into a nocturnal animal? Basically that. And the power of, what I can only assume was espresso concentrate meant for 20 days consumption that I drank in a single night when I woke up at 11 I felt like I had been time

traveling this is this is always the most fucked up day of the year as far as scheduling goes because I I'm used to you know going to bed around like three and getting up at like six after a Saturday and before you know the the Sunday after a college football Saturday so like being on a schedule something like that and then like wait why is why is everyone going to work Why is there no Like the sensation of actually There's no Eli Manning on the TV What's happening?

Like missing Eli Manning is That's a strange sensation Is there a justifiable business reason Why we How we can watch a national championship In Hawaii next year? Yeah, we got to do it with Big Bob Yeah, we have to do either that with Big Bob

Or we go out there and discuss business While we do it right like we literally we just have to harumph raise a glass and say business we're doing we're doing a feature on nikrolovich there you go boom yep all of us america's next great coach he's getting the full treatment takes three people to do that um we are we are each asking him a question how how the bottle of cold brew if you want the bottle of cold brew yeah the bottle of cold brew how many servings was this bottle allegedly I don't know. You know, other people look at those things. I was going to say, I realize now that I'm asking if you looked at a serving size, and that was a mistake.

Yeah, I did not look at the serving size. I did not actually look to see if it set espresso on the side. I did very little investigation. It's astonishing that I'm alive. That's generally, ironically, I think that should be put on your tombstone. It's astonishing that he's dead yet. It took this long. He made it this far, huh?

The thing that I would say is this. Drinking that much coffee and being prepared, really, I was totally amped and definitely in the right frame of mind to understand everything happening at the coach's room. If you do not know, Clemson beat Alabama 3531. I felt bad if you had to wait this long to find that out. If you had to, if we are your soul source. for this news and you had to wait, A, until we recorded this the night after the national championship, B, it won't actually come out until Wednesday, and C, we are like five minutes

in already? And you had to wait. I mean, what's five more minutes at this point? That's true. That's a good point. I do, I do, I do hate it for the season to listen. Like, if there's a person who is, like, stuck in Antarctica or something, and they know that this show is their only way to get the score, but they overestimate how long it takes, so they skipped ahead 30 minutes and they just missed it. I do like

Rob Hubel, the creator of minions and Despicable Me, also accomplished comic actor, and Clemsongrad posted a video of himself at the end of the game, panning across the stadium, and then appearing in the bottom going, I fell asleep. What

happened? And I did not think anyone could sleep through this game, especially because I was real amped on legal stimulants. Unfortunately, someone did, our very own Action Cookbook contributor to EDSBS, who fell asleep during this game. Like, I'm old, and I know that eventually I will start falling asleep during things. This game was not one of those.

Maybe initially, if I'd gone, it would have been the first quarter or so when I was pretty sure we were falling into another Alabama despair trap. But no, listener. No, this did not happen. Although this game was 14-7 for a real long time. You know what cookbook's punishment is. He now has to watch non-major golf. You got to watch the Greater Hartford Open or something.

The first round of the Greater Hartford Open. He'll get on it. He'll be excited about it too. He'll be like, oh man, Ricky's really like really crushing the irons. you know all right see but talk i want you to talk tell me about the coaches feed because despite working for a sports media company uh we who the new york crew who watched it in the office last night because we did a live show before and after we found out that we do not get ESPN news and could not watch the coaches the coaches version of the game broadcasts which

was deeply dissatisfying to me so can you walk me through it at all I can. It was the following coaches arranged in a around a sort of conference table. The conference table from time to time, by the way, during the broadcast was refreshed with snacks.

We're going to come back to the snacks. So ESPN, if you don't know, they have multiple channels, right? You can watch like a Homer channel that's all Clemson and another Homer channel that's all Alabama. And then you can watch the SEC feed and that had like Jim McElwain.

You don't need to listen to him. And then there was the main feed. and then you could watch one of two alternate channels, the alternate channels being one channel that had like Michelle Beatle and Rachel Nichols, Marcellus Wiley, and Bill Walton, Bill Walton, who was caught coming back from commercial talking about how there's no reason that marijuana should be a Schedule 1 drug, which, yeah, you're correct, Bill.

Your case is not quite as strong as it would be because you're wearing a giant Uncle Sam costume. Jay Bill has hated him, by the way. like couldn't stand him Jay Billis was just sitting there like terror and daggers at Bill Walton like everything wrong with the world like if you want to know what it would have been like

if Bill Walton that somehow ended up at Duke wouldn't have lasted man about 45 seconds of Bill Walton biking off that campus and going to UNC Greenboro because no they did not get along like Bill Walton's like you should really try DMT and

you know Jay Billis is like I was in a movie where I played a cyborg I quote young jeezy lyrics at 6 a.m. every day. Sometimes with the naughty bits. Yeah, deleted. Mostly deleted. So that was fine. But if you did not, and if you have not tried this particular speed,

and if you are, I think at heart, you would all say that you are, that the three of us are probably unhealthily obsessed with football. I'm probably the most out of the three of us, and that the technical angles of football are interesting, I think, too. Jason, you're fairly interested. in those, yeah? Sure. I mean, you find them at least

marginally fascinating. Yeah, I have enough and at this point it's my job, so sure. All right, and I still find these things like really, really interesting, especially the way coaches talk about them. It's nothing but these coaches just geeking out.

If you really like people who are involved in arcane arts, focusing on something for like three to three and a half hours and completely geeking out on it, watch the coach's feed because it was Dino Babers of Syracuse Steve Adosio of Boston College

who's really good by the way when he's just sitting there watching a game and picking stuff apart he's great at it right mostly the run game it was he wasn't really calling the past game that much it's like oh here's this run play

and then a pass down one happening and he'd go oh that's good that's why you have Dino Babers though right oh man Dino like we'll come back to Dino Dino's amazing. Dino Babers, Kalani Sataki from BYU,

who is great because he's got no neck. He has the most amazing head-shoulders transition you've ever seen. He's a forward fullback, and he has built like just one giant brick of man. Dave Doran of NC State, who I think was surprised to find himself there every three minutes. I think he was nodding off. I would just sort of come to like,

whoa, hey guys, how are you doing? I don't know how he runs the football team very low energy Matt Rule who was great at commentary and very perceptive and Matt Rule of Baylor which feels so weird to say

he also by voice and by demeanor is either like I said last night the financial advisor who's telling you your savings have been vaporized or he is the tiny dog who hangs out with the big dog going hey Spike hey Spike you want to go down to the junkyard

and chase cats like that was that was him you get the idea that like he's the small extremely enthusiastic pug of a man who gets a team going so anyway i'm sure i'm forgetting so oh mike mcintyre who signed a big contract and a third of the content in the espn coach's room was ribbing might mackintyre about the very large contract he had just signed with colorado and and or ribbing him for the punter he let get out of colorado right that is correct there is no more savage burn on a coach than to be in Colorado and for Bama to steal your punter

that's what they'd go oh man that's a real nice punt man can you imagine that at altitude and he's like ah and you can tell like it kind of chapped him like you know like yeah sure it's a joke but coaches are like

I did let that punter get away god damn it so if you did not watch it it moves so fast and by the time they can finish a play right the screen is like here's the game here's a screen and there's like a shot of the coaches. By the time the play happens,

whoever has the remote at the table, and they sort of share it, whoever has the remote rewinds it before the play stops. And they've already figured out what happened, right? When you're still like, where's the ball go? Is that? They're like, okay, here we go.

Three technique really messed up here. Like, they've already started rewinding it before the play is over. The minute it is sort of down, they're like back. And it was, for the first quarter, I almost had a seizure. and then for the remaining three quarters, I was locked in.

So by the time it came to actually write about the game, you're like, I know everything that happened. Literally, I could stare through time. It was amazing. But especially, like, okay, Jason, you were up and awake and functional at the very end of the game, correct? Yeah, well, the first two of those, yes. Okay, so one second left in the clock.

What was Clemson's situation? Clemson had the Well It's a few plays happened in the last second The onside kick Is that what we're referring to? Yes Okay

Clemson was kicking an onside kick Right So they had one second left to go And they opted for an onside kick Now this is Was this an obvious call to you? No No I would have expected probably like a squib

All right Ryan what would you have done on that situation. I think I agree with Jason, or they had also, it felt like they'd intentionally kicked it high and short a bunch, and I thought maybe that was going to happen again, something where you send it to somebody who's not a major kick returner, you make sure you've got them surrounded, so there's not going to be any pitch foolishness, and that's it. That decisiveness is completely absent in the coach's room at that moment.

it was like it was the chief moral challenge of our time to figure out what you were going to do with that like i've never i've never seen that many men arguing sort of that intensively and with this much self-doubt like all they were like i don't know if this could happen or you could do that or you could kick it out of bounds then you get it down because you can't end it on a penalty like it just kept going and going and going like they were if you wonder how coaches can just sit at a whiteboard and talk for seven hours it became readily apparent when all they had to do was deliver one opinion on how to get the ball off of a foot with one second left against Alabama like they were it was like a parliament of gagging like it just apes all sitting there it was great I was very happy with it the football geek in me cannot recommend it enough

it kind of sounds like going to like a architect's convention or something something where you're like, these guys are really excited about trellises. I don't know why, but it's like watching people play Magic the Gathering. Yeah, they re-air it on like ESPNU or whatever

for the next month or so, right? Like, it's not too late for people to catch up on this. Yeah, I, if I had to make one off-season prediction, Spencer will watch it again and write about it. Yeah, I'm going to write about it. See? I really had to make Make like a, I mean, they really ought to just post this entire thing.

ESPN should. They will. They also, they also, I think they should have the annotated version, right? Where you're like, this guy was totally wrong. Oh, like the pop-up video version of it? Yeah, they should. They should be like, you would have lost if you had done that. Mix in some Bill Walton.

Just when you least expect it. Two weeks later, Steve Adazio accidentally put ground pork his car engine yeah that's how you just so you're really like you got to feed protein into this it's got it's got grease right that's like oil i like this group because this is about the chillest group of coaches possible like maybe you could squeeze mark rickton there um and like p j fleck was in the group but it's you know he was busy recruiting and it's also kind of like well he's kind of a little bit too uh tuned up for this particular group i don't know if he would fit in all that well they didn't they just you know you just downgraded to what kalanis sataki just stepped right in and he was

he was good as hell sitting there drinking water only water b yu people he wasn't he wasn't indulgent in the devil's the devil's jiggly juice of coffee for coca cola did we ever get any confirmation what pizza they brought i don't know but adazio was housing it he was dominating it like steve adazio the coach for boston college is this bald-headed sergeant's little looking dude And when the pizza came, by the way, every time snacks or pizza arrived, oh, the room lit up. And they didn't kill their mics either, right? So you just heard them chomping on. They didn't kill their mics the whole time, man.

They just let them go. And it was great. It was like my dinner with Andre, but with like slightly less. Except my dinner with Andre, where? Yeah, exactly. And so, you know, these guys the whole time talking nonstop, They, in watching everything, they're really, they're simultaneously forgiving, but not. Dino Babers the entire time was, you know, Captain Caveman.

All he wanted to do was attack. That's it. So every time any of the offenses went conservative whatsoever, he'd go, RPO that, or forvert. Or like, he was a Viking. He was absolutely savage. That's a man you do not want to play in NFL Blitz. No. Because I know what he's doing.

You know what play he's calling. Everyone. He's calling DeBombeam. Da Bomb! Yeah. So he would do, so he's like, it was great. He was like aggressive as hell. Like Bama, the best part was

Bama would show, they would go to great, like, I will tell you this. Everything Clemson was seeing in terms of coverages, it was so cool because what Bama explained to me for the first time last night, exactly how hard it is to read what Nick Sabin does on defense. It's real hard. Like what Clemson did last night was kind of amazing

because they roll off their coverages and they hide what they do so well. That's in addition to being better than you. They also hide what they do brilliantly. Every single time the guy like pre-snap and be like they go, yeah, they're showing cover or two and they'd roll back to a one or they roll back to a three. And they do it really, really well. and by the time you figure it out you got 1.8 seconds to throw the ball.

It was astonishing watching them break that down. But every time they do that, Dino Babers would go, RPO that run pass option, right? He's like, RPO that, like, simplify that shit. Like, you could just hear Dino Bavis like, I can't stand it. And then, the most

amazing thing happened, and it's like the storyline of the entire game. And it's that somewhere around that like 50 or 60 play mark, Bama had to get simple because they were tired. And even when they were trying to pull this stuff off, they started blowing assignments. And that's when Clemson started eating them alive. They also, yeah, but there also was a, it feels like there was also a thing where even if they didn't blow assignments,

Clemson's receivers were just like, no, we're just, yeah, we're just going to go up and grab these. Sorry, thank you. Well, they started, they got man. They got man coverage. And they were better. It was good man coverage. It wasn't like they were getting a ton of separation. No, they're just better.

Mike Williams and Leggett and Renfro were just better. Dionne Cain was great, yeah, yeah. Dionne was great, right? I think they had, did they have three receivers who were over 100 yards? They had four receivers who were over 90. Four over 90, yeah. That's unreal against Alabama. I mean, think about this.

Did Clemson really even, I mean, they tried. They stayed loyal to it. Did they even run the ball real effectively? not i mean they they were respectable if unimpressive i would say i mean i like they had i i want to say i mean i know they had over i think they had over a hundred yards uh no they had they had 91 yards nine one they were so close and they averaged uh less than two and a half yards of carry yeah but how many attempts did they have to get that 42.

I mean, it's a very weird part of this game that, I mean, some of it is just that they were on the field so much more, but they ran the ball, they ran the ball more than Bama. And I really didn't expect that would happen, especially once you look at how effective Bama was on the ground comparatively to Clemson. I don't know, I mean, they had more attempts to work with, right? Like, that was the philosophy.

Bama was, I mean, the stat you will hear cited from this game time and time again is third down. Because Alabama ended up being two for 15 on third down. Do you know when those two happened? No, I do not. They were both in the first quarter. The last three quarters of the game, Alabama went. Oh, of 10. Good night.

Yeah. Really? Yep. The, yeah, I mean, Deshawn Watson's great. Those receivers are great. The defense is, will probably, the defense will not get enough credit for keeping this game close for long enough and, and, and not letting it completely go out of hands because it very well could have. There were, it felt like there were a ton of possessions, not just the turnovers, but where Alabama's starting with the ball at their own 40 or 38 or something like that. and Clemson just said, nope, you don't get points right here. Like, this game is not, we're not going to let you slowly choke the life out of us. And the fact that they were able to do that and force punt after punt after punt,

even when it wasn't turning into points on the other side, just keeping Clemson around long enough so that, A, Bama could get tired on defense, and B, Deshaun Watson could be Deshaun Watson. that that was i think the like most quietly impressive thing to me jason when you look at where did this turn because i like i was in full alabama despair mode up until up until third quarter actually beginning of the third when i noticed the play count yeah that's what that's what everybody's pointing to bama got sleepy which that that happens when you're used to the game already being in hand by that point and you're chasing

around a bunch of similarly talented players. Sure, that makes sense. I think people made a bit too much of both Carbrose injury. Obviously he's great and all that. But Bama has like eight guys who were, you know, pretty comparable

to him. You know, and yeah, they threw a lot. You know, they threw a lot late. But that was also when, you know, when Clemson had a lead. You tend to throw more when your opponent has a lead.

Do you think, by the way, this is the other question. Do you think Sarkesian did a good job? This is the... It was fine. It was fine. I mean, it's tempting to say he blew it or whatever, but

Clemson has a good defense and Bam almost won, you know, in a shootout. Like, therefore, sure, fine. And, like, he hadn't called a game in two years. you know, I'm sure we could nitpick and find, like, oh, this play should have been called that way, or, you know, he should have told Jalen Hurts this before that drive or whatever, but I'm almost, I mean, I don't see any, any reason to enter next year with, you know, with major doubts about Sark or anything like that.

And if you look at Clemson the rest of the year in their, like, marquee games, take away the Ohio State game because, yeah, Sark, you did a lot better than Ohio State did. But, you know, all of these, the Florida State game, the Virginia Tech game, the Louisville game, those are all Clemson wins. And they're all basically the opponent's scoring about this much. Florida State put up 34, Virginia Tech 35, Louisville 36. And I don't think we walked away from those games and said, oh, well, you know, the damn offense just couldn't get it done. I think we said, you know, after the Louisville game, it was, wow, that was a great game. if one or two things went i mean one specific thing goes in louisville's direction they probably win that game virginia tech wasn't that different either and and florida state you know just like

a call here a call there a missed opportunity on either side yeah i mean i i it felt like it felt like sark actually called a pretty decent game there were there were certainly points where you didn't agree with what he was doing but not holistically it was the kind of thing where i mean if kiffin stayed, then what would we say about Bama's loss? Oh, well, his mind was already on to FAU or whatever. You know, or if if it had just been some

no-name offensive coordinator, no one would say anything. So, I will also, I'll also remind everybody who accuses a Steve Sarkesian of going to the past when it wasn't working or that it wasn't appropriate. What was the one game Clemson lost this year? They lost a

pit. And how did Pitt do that? You go, well, Oh, it had to be, had to be James Connor on the ground, right? No, no, Peterman was brilliant. And threw for 308 and five TDs. I thought the trick play that Sart broke out in the fourth, like the fucking balls, man. You're calling your first game in two years and you have a wide receiver throw a pass to a tight end. The double bubble screen in like, what was it, like four minutes, three minutes left?

and it worked. I mean, come on, man. That's, that's a, that's a confident, a confident play call. And no, no reason to worry about Sark. It's just, it's weird because I think when you watch any championship sport, you want to find, you want to like place the blame on something. And it's, I don't know, I kind of felt this way last year that, yeah, these are two super good teams. And if they played if they played 10 times they probably split five five but that means that you know alba those are five games alabama wins and five games they don't and i don't know it feels a little too over analytical or reaching for something to really say like well this person failed this person didn't do their job no i mean Alabama had a bad injury had had other

had another bad injury you know albama was playing this game without an all-american in their defense if they have that is that the difference maybe i don't know clompson was playing this game with their all-american that they didn't have last year and dion kane who they didn't have last year is that difference between this year and last year maybe like it's it's very very thin we've done this before we've done all of this before in terms of second-guessing how's this we've done all of this before and actually second-guessing the work of steves harkeesian Because if you go back, if we go way back, ooh, way back, we go to the 2005 title game versus USC and Texas.

There are numerous instances where you go, well, tactically, I don't know if that's the decision most people would agree with. I do because generally, they're all completely ballsy. Like Pete Carroll going for it on a fourth and short against Texas, which they don't get with Lendale White somehow. Like, I mean, sometimes you get two teams, who were evenly matched. And dare I say, this is like the most,

this is the most goddamn astonishing part of the entire thing. If you are looking at the story of this game, and you go, well, what did I really figure out from this game? You should figure out a few things. And agree or disagree, if you like. Deshawn Watson is amazing. Deshawn Watson is an astonishing quarterback. Agree.

I assume this is a poll. Yeah. I mean, please, I love. This is easy. Yeah, no, I'm giving you, I'm giving you easy answers, man. Thank you. Yeah, you vote no if you're, like, voting anonymously and registering with a name like Dr. Butt, right? Answer these five questions to take this poll.

Do you buy air conditioners? I don't believe in air conditioners. But that's, Deshaunson is an astonishing football player, and everybody slept on him. Because, I don't know, for the first part of the season, he threw a couple of picks. He did throw a lot of picks. Had some chemistry issues on offense. Maybe it was pressing a little bit. Didn't matter.

Last four or five games of the season, these lights out. Flawless. Second thing, Damos Winnie built Clemson into a recruiting power and the kind of like administrative, bulky kind of corporate brand with enough weight to not only, like people say, well, they held their own with Alabama. Correction.

They beat Alabama's ass. They did. amount they did with the because this is people will say this now right people will say oh the way to beat alabama is you just got to run more plays you got to get that play count to like 80 or 90 yards do you know how do you know how hard that is it's also absurd because it's premised on the fact that you can that Alabama doesn't have the depth to handle that what the fuck are you even talking about what the fuck oh i mean no who who can i mean Alabama, shoot, they don't have the depth.

Dude, all they have is depth. I quote Nick Saban when he was hired by away from Wayne Hizenga and hired to Alabama by Malmour, which was, and I am getting the quote very close to accurate here, which was, you may have gotten a horseshit coach, but I will not be out recruited by anybody.

That's on the record. That's not, if I'm not making anything up, Nick said it, he'd probably say it today. Be like, oh, crap, as a coach. He's great as a coach. He's an amazing recruiter. And that's the thing that Davoswini went point for point on him here. If you looked across that field, and I asked both of you this sincerely, if you look at that field, was there anybody who you go on Clemson who you're like, yeah, he doesn't belong in the field with Alabama?

The right side of the line. Okay. And what happened at the end? What was the highlight at the end of the game? No, I hear you. an overhead cam showing a double team plowing four and five stars into the end zone like that's amazing because the right garb's getting his ass beat at the end of the game he's helping bury people yeah there were a lot of points where you could find a specific matchups or it was like

oh man Alabama just and they were laughing about this in the coach's room about like the senator yeah his ass kicked and you know there were a couple plays on that on that uh the early fourth down clemson goes for where i i want to say it's um it's legate who lines up as a blocker and it's just like nope just back up for so so there were definitely times where bama bammadum pretty damn good but they didn't do it enough here's yeah and and deshawn watson versus that pass rush nobody else could have done that in like nobody else could even gotten the ball off as frequently as he did, let alone

complete it. And yes, yes, Chad Kelly had good games against this line and whatever, but I don't recall anybody facing a rush quite like that and having this game. And taking a beating. Yeah, when he threw, when he ran, anytime,

he said after the game he was talking about the helicopter hit when he got spun around by Fetz Patrick and Foster. Like, Maybe the two scariest, you know, hitters in the country just in terms of, you know, someone running at you at that speed. Yeah, and he said he got hit so hard that his pants ripped. And he was like whirling through the air and, you know, just pop back up and won the game.

Please reevaluate your life based on the sentence, I got hit so hard my pants ripped. He thought it was pretty funny. Yeah, he thought it was funny. meanwhile the rest of us are like I don't even know if that's physically possible with Alabama it is that'll happen and in all of this when that happened

the joke of all jokes is that at the end of the game the game plan if you do it right you make Alabama look fat you make them look fat and you make them look tired because they're a big heavy object and if you ask them to sprint side to side for a half

and somehow aren't losing 24-7, and you have a quarterback who happens to be one of the two or three most brilliant athletes at that position, and you have receivers like Clemson does, and you have a line that didn't give up. Like, maybe that's the stealth hero of this game. I know Deshawn Watson's spectacular, but that line got a crowbar taken to them for the first half.

I mean, to the point, yeah, where coaches were laughing at them. And then the Clemson offensive line in the second half, dominates the game and by the fourth quarter they were mowing people down and they didn't give up like I think think about mentally like what do you give up on

after like two tries I give up on really really lame shit after two tries passwords computer passwords I'll give up on that after one just throw the computer in the garbage I forgot password I didn't even try it once I already forgot it

Any, like, any, like, plastic seal on food? I'm just like, nah, go get a knife. No, the peel don't work. Just get the knife. Nope, guess I'm eating something else. Throw it away. Yeah. Or, you know, like, if you have kids,

cleaning up something, you're like, just throw it out. Throw it out. I've had messes that are just so foul. You're like, no, it's beyond salvaging. Like, you know, no, no, you can. You got to move. Move down the street. Yeah, no, burn.

this house, we're done. This cave's full of garbage. We'll just move to the next one rather than clean it out, right? Like the cavemen of your we'll just fill it up, burn it. We'll come back to it in a year or two when the winter's back, yeah. This child won't stop screaming.

That's my child. Not this one now. That's my new child. This one I'm unfamiliar with. The Clemson Offensive Lion, they didn't do that. They somehow managed to just, like, their offensive line coach, most have just looked at them and gone, men, for the first 30 minutes of

this game, you're, you're going to take an ass beating. And then they're going to get tired because they're fatter than you are. They're very large, they're very fat. And if we can get them to minute 31, this entire plot will turn. It was inspiring, really. Like, you watch it, you're like, I've never seen such highly touted athletes put further on their ass in a big game than I saw Alabama's defensive line. Like the blue ribbon, the gold standard of the program, right? The big hogs up front that make every game this relentless sludge into cruelty and time wasting.

Yeah, they were blown back at the end of the game. It was all inspiring. I was very, like, just to round table this, I was extremely happy with this game. Like, I was thrilled. I don't want to say, oh, it was the best game ever. No, I just love this game. I love how it unfolded. I love the plot.

It was a delight. Sure. It was good. It was a good game. You just say it was good. He's so tired right now. There have been two of these now and they are both good. Sometimes games are bad, but these are good.

He's so tired. No, I'm not tired. I'm just, you know. Yeah, you said it, man. It was good. No, it was real good. I swear it was good. I feel like I'm trying to convince you that I have.

actually think it was good you're not going to know that i believe you that's it about like a that's about the appropriate pitch i mean right maybe i think it was bad yeah don't do that don't do that to us no it was yeah no i it was there is something striking about looking looking back at it now it seems very easy to just say oh they had deshawn watson and you had a very talented but very young not Deshawn Watson but I mean I do think Jalen Hertz is going to be really good even in this game

where it was sort of like until that until the touchdown drive that gives Bama the lead late you didn't feel like he had done a lot he does find OJ Howard on the nice long touchdown but by and large it was sort of but he also

he didn't look terrified and he didn't look he didn't look like he couldn't handle it um and and i we probably glossed over the fact collectively that this was what he's not even 19 and he's playing in the national championship against a tremendously good defense um they didn't sack him they got plenty of tackles for loss and they made his life very unpleasant but you look at jalen hertz numbers at the end of the year and you know, he's better than Trevor Knight. Jacob Eason, the five-star everything that everybody's all excited about at Georgia.

I mean, cross the board, his numbers are better than him. So, I mean, to say he was not as good as Deshaun Watson is no slight whatsoever. But I do think, I will not be terribly surprised if maybe even next year. year we're just like oh damn jalen hertz figured out to be really really good great cool i mean look at it this way when you got the proper sequence of events and he was called on to in that sequence take his team down and score did it nearly single-handedly there's a trick there's a trick play in there and there's also jalen hertz breaking an entire defense with his legs did i mention that he can spot 540 deadlift about 550 to 565 pounds and bench press 275 you're not really going

to knock them around a lot have fun there's another two years of this at least yeah it's i mean he so he ends the season throwing 382 passes and he only throws nine picks like as as as a freshman As a freshman, I mean, that's damn good. Yeah, like, I don't want to accuse Alabama of being all, you know, black curtains and, you know, Undertaker shit. No, there's some spectacular choice athleticism at work here if you're watching Jailen Hertz. And by the way, like, I happen to love, like, the version of this offense at Sarkesian runs because it's a little more quarterback friendly in that sense. like he's going to let him run and he's going to use that, boot him out,

and encourage him to use his legs. Like the Alabama offense, it could be pretty fun. It was already sort of fun to watch this year. It was fun when Kiff had got there. You know how I know this is a good game? We're all being like kind of earnest. It's weird, right? It's weird that we, I'm sorry if you listen to this

hoping for good riffs and jokes because we failed. no this was this was a time when the game itself eclipsed the actual snarkiness of this show we should have just talked about uh stevedazio at pizza parties that's all we shouldn't yeah let's circle back to that okay he'd ruin them he just he just dominate them it'd be like a pizza party eclipse by himself going you know here they've got uh it's a great tumble team right there i bring my own meatballs to put on the pizza i find the ones they use are to uh Too small and too dry. We don't have actually any football, do we?

Like, this was, it's fun to watch this happen because you go, wow, look, man, Marty Smith's going to follow them back to Clemson. They're going to have a parade. And then... Yep. That's fine. That's okay. Now it's time for Jim Harbaugh to take off his pants and piss off Paul Feinball for nine months.

showing off recruiting with that flouncy trouncey flashiness no man now it's time for spencer to get the cow job we shouldn't even I like this that we can do a whole national title game get to like you know 45 minutes into this podcast but all of a sudden we're like oh yeah a cow like just fired their coach

just woke up like oh man I know you're the real Lebowski boom fired Cal fucking news dumped Sunny Dykes Which I don't know if you know this Florida does need an offensive coach Right Sure

Okay that's sure That's fine Come on How do you not trust an offensive coach name Sunny Sonny Okay I mean it's also the name of a terrible barbecue chain in the state

So thanks. Terrible. Terrible. Oh, deplorable. Sonny's is so bad. Sonny's is sheer ass. It is. Sorry, are we talking about cow?

I'm confused. Yeah, we are. Sonny's program is below average. Sonny's restaurant is rotten. Listen, we're going to have a lot of time to do our preview shows and probably do even a worse job with them. I do want to know, Jason, if you have any early lines on who you're going to be, who you're looking at for the chicken bet with Godfrey.

Oh, man. It's far too early. It's far too early. It'll depend on who Godfrey is high on, I think, because he'll tend to favor a team that he knows the coaches or whatever. Not that he's, you know, not that he's a home or journalist or anything. But if he gets a sense from the coaches that they're high on their team, that kind of thing, he's going to be higher on that team. And I'm just going to do whatever Bill C. says to do. I will say, before we get off a cow, I'm not saying it's going to happen.

And I'm not saying you should read anything into this. Cow hosts Ole Miss week three next year. hmm my beloved cow bears actually but but but with sunny sunny leaving i don't know if there are my am i still stuck with them because the whole joke was i hated their offense so that i'm i'm bailing on stanford so it's okay oh we're free we're free of this this we got to find a new rivalry then yeah uh it turns out having uh title nine right up in the new york times yeah i'm probably gonna just walk away from you yeah had a good year stanford it was fun that that one aside okay so let's let's think on this i have two projects then i have to bet on chicken with godfrey

and i have to find a uh rivalry trophy to pretend to care about um with you uh i'm thinking about i'm thinking about being an a Auburn fan so if so if you want to be a Jordan fan you can do that or Bamma whoever you want i'll pass on both of those i'm mostly saying that to make Spencer crazy so it's not happening you can keep Sega it's just not I think you just forbid you to do it. Not in this house. Not as long as you're eating my meatloaf kid. Smelling these gold toe socks on my couch.

That's right. I think for next year, if I'm picking the team that is going to make it, I already said this as much. The Dark Horse pick. Dark Horse picked for me for the national title, for at least for us, for the playoff. This is when Auburn makes you feel it, man. Auburn, we haven't really, like, every time you think Auburn doesn't matter. Every time you think you can write them off, they just ruin things.

They just come through. That's true. And every time you think Auburn's going to be great, they aren't. I didn't say that. Notice the way I'm framing it. No, I understand. Oh, man, they're going to be good. No, no, no, no.

But I'm saying because this is not a year, I don't expect this will be a year where everybody's going to be like, well, look out for Auburn. So they already have that hurdle cleared. They don't have the high expectations that they won't fulfill. Exactly. What I can say is this. They're going to ruin shit. That's it. They always do, man.

I just remember that two years ago, Auburn was the SEC favorite. Yep. That happened. That happened, right? So now they're going to be picked, you know, probably like fourth. Fourth in their division. Right. Yeah.

And then Jared Sidham's going to come along and they're just going to like rip shit and everyone's going to think they're good and then they're going to blow it. That's it. They're going to go in like first and they'll go in in a playoff where they face. I don't know. Let's pick some like extremely tripling team that slides in. Ohio State. All right.

They'll go in and Ohio. it'll be like, oh, Ohio State hasn't scored more than 18 points all season, and they'll lose like 55-20 to Ohio State playoff. I see it coming Auburn already. It'll be like, the SEC's back. Let's see how they do against these piss-ass-buck-ey.

And then they'll just cop it out. We'll be like, Urban Meyer's done. He's never stayed anywhere this long. He can't replace coaches. Look, his offense has been crap. Then they'll just obliterate Gus Melz on. This is the year. I mean, listen, we're already now.

Let's just get on board with it now. The ACC is the dominant conference. Accept it into your heart. It's not the SEC anymore. Nine and three. Nine and three. Everyone ran to the comfort of the Big Ten because they're like, well, they were going to the 80s. Boy, it worked.

No, son. So was George Michael, and how'd that go? I'm hurt. hurt i'm sorry i like george michael too i just couldn't help it no no no you don't like him get your name out of his mouth now are you are you mad that are you mad that are you mad that are you mad that ryan associated him with the big ten is that what we're mad about i there are so many offensive layers to this reference the gesture advanced as it is is an attack on no less than seven planes of reality. Listen, if you're telling me you don't think being arrested for a

minor sexual offense in a bathroom is an extremely Ohio state, I don't even know you anymore.