Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.65 - Let's Kick Out Some States

Episode Date: February 15, 2017

Two of the Shutdown Fullcast hosts have shot a gun before (the one who hasn't is the one who looks like a Dutch pop singer) which gives us the authority to make broad, sweeping decisions about which states stay in America 2.0 and which states are out. There is also some general discussion of Senator Kid Rock, what the dumbest non-sports sports things are, and why Bill C. and Godfrey should meet us outside because YES WE WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE STATE OF FLORIDA FOOTBALL TASTE THESE RINGS YOU PUNKS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. We discussed college football loosely. We are fond on this program in particular of making fun of the Michigan Man, University of Michigan. Enjoying a football renaissance after many years in the wilds, in the woods, in the UP of the sport, if you will. Finally, finding its way back to civilization under the management of Jim Harbaugh. I would ask, however, that we explained a little bit of what we do with me. Michigan man. Typically, we think of the Michigan man as the refined man of college football,

the noble poet warrior of the gridiron, nay, the one who beholding the squalor of southern states and their devotion to football above all else says, no, no, we are but the exception to this. We alone hold the fires of amateurism and the noble student athlete. while you enter the dark ages of a professional sport that you don't have to pay your players in. That's kind of what we make fun of the Michigan man for. Did I miss anything? We sometimes make fun of them for, you know,

I don't know, wanting to discuss World War II history all the time. For regarding any instant replay opportunity and deciding that it must be touched by the Michigan man's MS paint, easel and brush no highlight from an Ohio State game can go unadorned with the Michigan man's

handiwork and then released on Twitter that's right President Kennedy he crossed the line of scrimmage early as you can clearly see I will remember two things from 2016 in terms of phrases one was emails and then the other is the spot was good

yeah that sums up the year. But those two things. That's what we remember, Michigan, man. However, I would like to introduce the podcast after we explain all of that by introducing another item. Ryan? I've actually, I'd prefer it if you would call me, call me by my new name, because my name

is Kid. Kid Rock. This comes just from the Toronto Sun. the Michigan Republican Party is considering Robert Ritchie, better known to you, as Kid Rock, for a potential United States Senate seat. And I know, listen, I know that you're all like, oh, Kid Rock can't be in the Senate, really? Did you see what happened in November? You want to tell me Kid Rock can't win a Senate seat?

You want to tell me that that's too outrageous? But what I really like about this article is that it talks about how he has views that mostly align with the Republican Party. But in some ways, he differs from them. For instance, he's quoted in The Guardian as saying that I'm no fan of abortion, but it's not up to a man to tell him what to do. As an ordained minister, I don't look forward to marrying gay people, but I'm not opposed to it. But one thing Kid Rock is very clear on is the right to bear arms. And he told the Guardian that Among the armaments that he owns,

he has a Civil War cannon. Yeah, I, huh, like a captured one, like just in case it breaks out again? I have to assume that he's keeping it in working order, yeah. They probably put, like, beer in it, and then put your face in front of it. Yeah, then shoot your beer, in your mouth.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think that that would work from like a lethal home-stopping perspective, but I'm not, you know what, I've never shot a gun, I can't tell you. No, it's for having a good, you've never shot a gun. I've never shot a gun. This is, this is the point, you know, this is the point where we, we now look at Ryan and go, wow, you were, you were raised a little bit differently than Farrell, Jason and I. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't really surprise either of you. let's be honest

yeah i mean i guess if if you had said if we were playing truth or dare um and you said and you you were called upon to or two lies in a truth and a lie or any number of other makeout games and we stopped making out long enough for you to say have i ever shot a gun i would probably say you know right maybe not yeah i have a sort of pillow equality that implies that I would call neighborhood watch rather than own a gun well I think people take one look at you and they say that guy is awesome at diplomacy right that's and also he was excellent at the Grammys during his performance of the song about being seven years old okay let me be perfectly clear I did not watch the Grammys I still don't know who we're talking about

Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's James Corden and I want to fight all of you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not James Corden. It's not James Corden. It's not that guy has facial hair. It was it. It was an even more cherubic looking young man. Fuck. Lucas, Lucas Graham. All right. Lucas. Okay. We're going to do this. We're going to do this. This is I don't know what this person looks like, but I'm going to look. If you did not miss it, if you did not, if this is also on the Grammys, Lucas Graham. He's a Danish singer. He sang a, a, a, a duet with Kelsey Ballerini. I don't know who that is. I just know her name. And they sang a duet where this young man's just talking about being seven years old

and talking to old people about how everything dies and is miserable. Anyway, very uplifting stuff. And someone noticed that Lucas Graham sort of bears a slight resemblance to the boyish good looks of Ryan Nanny. Are you looking live at what Lucas Graham

works like? I am. I am and I'll be honest, I don't see it. But I'm also not as insulted as I thought I would be. Yeah, it wasn't a bad thing. It wasn't, we didn't say, we didn't say James Corden. Yeah, we wouldn't do that to you, buddy. Man, I would fight somebody if I saw somebody online saying that. Let me clear.

Let me clear. Spencer would absolutely do that to me. If it were accurate, I don't want to use a dull blade. All right. What are we talking about? And also, to be clear, this wasn't, this wasn't just us. this is sort of a universal realization oh the timeline was trash the time is always trash but the timeline was hyper trash customized trash um i should have stayed anonymous for so many reasons that's really

the only takeaway but but then you but then you get that same at every time uh a sequel to an eddie murphy movie comes out that that when is the last time an eddie murphy movie came out this is not an issue. I was literally trying to think of the name of an Eddie Murphy movie likely to be released in this decade. It's going to be a while. I'd also like to point out that we're recording this podcast on Wednesday. We usually record on Tuesday night. And when I asked Jason and Spencer if we could about recording, I assumed Tuesday night was out because Tuesday night was Valentine's Day Night. And the response I got from both of them was like, why what's wrong wait what why can't we do the evening so so romance is not dead on the

shutdown forecast but we didn't record last night because jason you had a date yeah it's surprisingly we ended up going to it was the word too god we we have this tradition on valentines where she just picks a movie and i just go there's no discussion i just go um and man it was like some teenage thing about this boy who's born on mars and he wants to live on earth with this earth girl but his bones are too he's like reverse wolverine his bones are too skinny um he looks like my four-year-old nephew if he grew about three feet but didn't gain any weight uh he's too skinny to live on earth so they have to send him back to mars this shit is like over two hours long the teen girls crying in the theater everywhere like crying the

entire movie um but man yeah it fulfilled my valentine's obligations i just could not believe how long this thing was and how skinny this dude he looks like slender man like cute slender man the name of this film appears to be the space between us yeah that's what they called it is that right yeah it was not a Dave Matthew's

live show which also would have been long as shit too that also would have taken a long time and involved a lot of anything no I'm going to do the acoustic set no but but Spencer and I agree and I haven't seen it, you should have gone and seen Lego Batman.

Yeah, we did do that on Sunday. It's excellent. Everyone, if you haven't seen it yet, just see it and then never bother seeing any Batman movie or show or otherwise ever again, because it is the definitive Batman story. I would also ask, by the way, that we go back to this. Ryan, you've never shot a gun. No, correct. Much just like Batman.

oh you have a code Ryan cannot kill but he's forced to either throw Wilma's champ in jail or to kill him which will he choose I would I would really by the way

like we need to take him shooting because I don't know you should you should at least know how scary because I will be real forthright I really like guns and I really hate them a lot but from time to time my weakness gets to me and I have to go

shoot because it's just it's rewarding it's very rewarding it's very rewarding I really enjoy doing it in case you don't know if you print out a picture of someone and make it full size you cannot take it to the shooting range to shoot they won't let you do that okay they will let you

shoot someone who's obviously Muslim looking okay and they will sell that and they will let you shoot someone who's probably like a minority like the like straight up most gun shop targets that they're a little racist okay and yes Atlanta was correct they will let you shoot a picture of a dog

they definitely will not let you do that you saw that episode of Atlanta it's brilliant you should watch it but you should we have to take Jason shooting right because now like Jason and I are like um this podcast feels incomplete if you don't understand what a bad shot you actually are yeah this podcast has always been a long way for me to um grow into manhood so I appreciate we're gonna make a man out of you yet thanks dads Yeah, there's, I mean, the act of firing a weapon, it's knowing that you hold in your hands the closest you will ever, you know, come to, like, having the actual power of God and, like, the incredible responsibility of that. And, like, it's scary, you know, and then, and then you let off, like, seven of them things, and, like, five of them hit, and you go, whew, you know, and then you start worrying about all that God stuff. Cool.

And you load you up. So it's like being an irresponsible surgeon. yeah yeah yeah great that and that and this you will never meet more polite people than you do at a gun range because you have to be polite oh man that if you ever go to a gun show like it there's this really really weird sense of safety which feels crazy to say but just the knowledge of every single person there that there's complete mutually assured destruction and everyone is kind of just itching to itching to prove how John Wick they are

like everyone is just super chill and I don't know if that's the case if you go to a certain kind of gun show while having a certain shade of skin but as long as you go to one in a pretty a pretty diverse area of town

it's like the chillest place in the world and like artificially chill but still I don't know it's weird it's like standing on like super high a mountain when the atmosphere kind of gets to you? Well, I think it's the exact opposite of if you go to some place like I've been to a Buddhist religious retreat and it's the most passive aggressive place I've ever been. It's just rife with hostility. No one's cool. Everyone's just like, no, no, no, you're going to be alone. Let me alone. We're just being quiet and stuff. I think generally the tone of a place,

if you have a lot of guns and it could be very violent, everybody goes well out of their way to be extremely friendly. It's like if you have an extremely friendly environment, at Disney World, you will never see angrier people in your life. It's like going to what I imagine going to a Nebraska football game as like when they say, oh, we're all so polite. I'm like, I'd hate every single one of you. We're all supposed to be nice. As opposed to going to Baton Rouge where it's like, I'm almost lit your throat. Hey!

How you doing? Like, yeah, I'm, the rule of inverse intent versus actual atmosphere seem to apply at a gunshot. People got to have a gunshot. have a little danger to them. It's like how you look at a bear cub and you're like, oh, look at that cute bear cub. Well, it would eat your face, oh, look at that bear cub. Should we kick states out of the United States now?

I think that's good. There was a... Yeah, I think we've established my qualification here. We can get stuff like that. I think we, there was a discussion which is kind of everyone gets their story's idea, mostly like, I guess, off of Twitter or

drunken, like, G-chat conversations. That's really where most people... Well, yeah, I would say 80% of stories on the internet are based on this is a thing that's happening on Twitter or this is a thing that's happening on Twitter that's wrong. Right, right. And this was an interesting discussion that's kind of flown around Twitter and become other things, which was from the 13th, the 13th, I believe it was Troy Masher on Twitter post. So you've been tasked with cutting deadweight. I have to remove five states from the country. It's an interesting question.

My answer was Tennessee, Alabama, Florida, Indiana, and Texas. But with Texas, it was doing them a favor anyway. If I had to throw another one in there, I'd just probably ask Mississippi or Kansas. I've never had, you know what? I might have use for Mississippi. I have no use for Kansas, so Kansas can just go. Those would be my five if I had to list it. What are your criteria here?

Okay, my criteria are one. How much are your votes going to damage the overall welfare of my country? So, yeah, Tennessee, you're going in there. Remember, Tennessee is just full of bad ideas. I grew up there. I should know. I'm one of the bad ideas that Tennessee had, so who would know better than me? Tennessee is the place where they do stunt legislation, like, well, you know, I think we should make children working coal mines for their age.

You shouldn't be able to just spell. You should return it with a, you know, a pallet of gold. Be of use to this. Because spelling, no one's ever, ever done anything learning how to spell, right? It's just the most anti-intellectual, terrible place. My whole family's still there, and I'll go there this weekend. So don't get too upset with me. Also, I'm just one person.

And if you're the kind of person who lives in Tennessee, you're like, well, because you think that way. It must mean we're doing something right. Sure, buddy. Sure. That's my favorite development in 2016 and 2017 is this idea that if people are mean about a thing, the correct response is to support it. Like, I really hope we get that way in college football

where we're just like, well, everybody's bagging on Will Mustcham, so I've decided he's the best offensive mind in football. I'm not going with the Twitter mob anymore. must be the greatest. He must be the smartest, most innovative, offensive mind in the game. Otherwise, Twitter wouldn't hate him so much. The Clemson libs are crying now. He went six and seven. Yeah. And like in sports, you don't take that kind of reasoning, right? You just don't because you go, oh, well, we went one in ten just to spite you. That doesn't work because you still went one in ten, right? There's some of that. Like next year people, oh yeah, no. It's right around the corner.

like even with will must champ obviously failing at florida there were people who are like you know i mean he just does things the right way though no he doesn't there's a number i can point to it we don't you know like if someone goes 10 and 2 um you can hedge a little bit on that but not that much he's he's still 10 and two sure ultimately you just say oh we got tired of that guy right the mark rick and mac brown argument we got tired of that guy oh mac brown not so much but point being um when i When I look at that, I'm like, okay, how much are you going to damage my country by being around? Sure. Tennessee.

Okay. Sure. Um, additionally, uh, do I like being there, right? Like, generally, like, if I've been there and I, you know, like, I've been to Indiana, you know, how much I like being there? It made me sad. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it made me sad. Kansas.

I've never even been to Kansas and the idea of Kansas makes me sad. So no. Kansas is pretty good. I'll stand up for Kansas. Kansas is hard to drive through, man. It is, boy, it is bleak. All right. You know what?

I would probably be... If you drive, like, one... If you see a car on the road, somebody will apologize to you for all the traffic. Kansas City is like... It's like a movie set that's not being used. You can park anywhere, any time of day. Yeah, I would... There is ample parking.

You can't take that away from Kansas, but generally like... I realize I've made a thrilling case for Kansas. I mean, make your case for Delaware, and we'll just stand and look at the two of them, okay? But yeah, those are generally my criteria. I'm like, how much damage are you going to do, what your overall kind of worth? Generally, do I kind of agree with the way you want to do things? No, man, I'm not super pro-poverty, like poverty creation. You could be poor.

I just don't like it when you decide to put the throttle down on being poor. That sucks. Stop doing that. And also, do I like your food? that kind of helps. Do I like your food and the general kind of vibe there? Which I'm saying

Tennessee and Alabama, the food's delicious there. But I can double up if I keep Georgia. If I keep Georgia in some surrounding states, I pretty much get all that anyway. So, sorry, y'all.

I'm taking it out there. Also, if we kick Alabama out, we can make college football grade again. Because Alabama won't be there. That means Florida won the SEC two years in a row if there's no Alabama. You see the grand design of my plan. So those are my five states

that I would sort of pick out. See, I think I... Go ahead, Jason. Well, I think I got mine, unless you got yours for sure. Yeah, so I take a different tack. To me, it's all about creating a good, a fun rival for the United States because, you know, we'll call Canada America's hat or whatever. But Canada looks pretty good these days. And Mexico, you know, really riles people up in very specific ways.

So what I want to do is carve out California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico. Texas and just make that like America's brother and and this will be good because we've got plenty of football in there but we've also got plenty of everything else there good food good industry interesting culture and and I think we can just sort of create this little like rivalry between those five states and the rest of the country and I like I like the setup of that you've also got texas and california forever tug of warring over everything in between them that's right that's right yeah yeah that's the other part is it like in like it's got a good internal rivalry as well that's that's quite a laboratory you've set up let's see how long it takes

to explode well that's also why we have new mexico in there so they can help yeah they've got to get that going. I, uh, okay, okay, let's boot South Carolina because, I mean, there, there is a, there is a history of them enjoying that. They have, they have a request in already, so. Yeah. They're, they're first in line. If anybody leaves again, then they'll be heading out. I mean, they've, what have they produced? They've given us, uh, young Jeezy's from there, Marcus Latimore's from there. What else? Uh, they take, they take good recruits from Georgia, which is funny. That's funny. That is funny. That is funny.

We'll find a way to export Georgia's best football players. The country of South Carolina, we can do that. Okay. So, South Carolina's out. Arizona, let's give that back to Mexico. Because we have Arizona and New Mexico, that's a little redundant. And New Mexico, I feel, you know, they've laid a little lower, you know, made fewer messes, I guess. So Mexico, you can have Arizona back.

We're going to keep New Mexico. But, hold on. I want to keep the one that's named into you, but... I want to keep Larry Fitzgerald. Okay. Well, the New Mexico Cardinals, sure. He can be the owner and star player. Okay, perfect.

We're going to boot... Indiana, I agree in Indiana. Fuck Indiana. No use for it whatsoever. Leave a hole right in the middle of the map. It's a black hole. That's fine. I'm going to merge Mississippi and Alabama, so that counts as cutting one of them. I don't care which. They can argue until the end of time about which. one's been cut but um alicepi miss abama whichever we want to call it they no longer have

each other to thank for ranking 50th in the state rankings now they both have to step their games up a little bit um i'm liking this um i forget which i forget the other one but i'll ride with those four and then just agree with whatever whatever you all think that's a good list yeah no no i like that i noticed that we are leaving um most of the middle West untouched, which surprises me a little bit. I mean, do you really, like, there's also, this five, if you came over and you set a couple of them, I'd just sub them in, like, no, like Jason Led with South Carolina. I'm like, yeah, man, South Carolina smells weird.

I don't really have much, I don't have much. Like, I might take that little, like, mountain part, maybe a little bit of Clemson with it, but the rest of it, I don't know, I just saw it off. Now, let me flip this on you. If we're doing, if we, let's say the states are in some sort of draft and, and you get to pick your first five that are going to be part of your country and they don't have to be contiguous whatever like which five are you keeping for sure oh last comment we should also say that north carolina is also looking pretty damn trash yeah yeah yeah north carolina like

deeply deeply on the slip and slide down the hill towards south carolina status also i don't know if carolina is still technically a state maybe they're a territory at this point yeah they might have disincorporated. I would like to, I would like to just sort of like cut out with huge bulldozers like Charlotte and Asheville and a few other select parts of North Carolina and just move them somewhere. Like Pennsylvania could use Asheville, right? That'd be an improvement. Don't do this. Don't do that. Okay, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. But yeah, like, also, if you just threw a little, it's like dropping in arcology. I mean, if you said like, yeah, exactly. If you said Missouri or Oklahoma, I'm like,

yeah, let them go. Okay. I don't care. I don't care. Let me fight for it. Especially in Missouri. A state has never worked so hard to be nondescripted lumping. Lumpin. Like lumpin, you know, or Ohio. Like, no one's got any of the Ohio.

You know, like I told somebody this on Twitter, but I grew up surrounded by short, angry white men with an inferiority complex and are always mad about something. Like, I don't know, give me a, I want a different kind of rage. That's why Texas is so invigorating. You're like, wow, you're mad about it. entirely different things with the different accent and in crazier ways fascinating to be lone star state all right but but if you're if you're building a college football sport with just five states which five are you going with yeah i think you can know this was the other theory we had that if you had five states and you took them and just built college football off those five states i think

you could do a sport that looks a lot like the one we have with just five states okay just five states so California Texas Florida correct you have to get those those are the three that you start with right and everything after that's kind of negotiable Georgia Georgia Georgia has to be in there because if you look at the amount of

talent that comes out of there emphasis on comes out because it sure ain't playing for playing for Mark great Kirby Smart has a good class so this joke has an expiration date but we have never we have never stopped to acknowledge reality

I think the top four there's no argument for excluding any of those I think the fifth spot comes down to either Louisiana or Ohio Louisiana because per capita it has the most talent of any state Ohio however produces tons of coaches somebody's got to coach all these players

debatable also that's true but also Ohio produces it's a top 10 talent state as well yeah I would I would say this, which state has Tiger Stadium and which states, which state's going get you better tailgate and that's it, that's right, Louisiana. There you go.

There's my five. Skyline Chili versus Baton Rouge, folks. See, I want to create like pockets where we sort of like, okay, California works because it's like, all right, everybody just sort of focus. If you're in California, you just stay in one of those places. And Texas and Florida work for the same reason. But for my other two, I want to pick places that can become sort of tractor beams. Like, I want to see what happens to Iowa if every kid in Michigan and Ohio, and maybe, hell, even in, like, Kentucky is like, well, shit, I don't know if I want to go all the way to Texas.

I got to enroll in Iowa or Iowa State. Like, I want to use this to create little laboratories of weirdness. So I would do Florida, Texas, California. Iowa and Rhode Island. Fuck it. Oh, wow. Champions of the East every year. Drange.

Listen, I mostly said Rhode Island so that Yukon wouldn't be involved. I would, I would really, if I were going to just throw an outlier in there, it wouldn't really be an outlier. I would just take Washington. American Samoa. We've got to bring the,

beef. Get us some robust linemen American Samoa. That's not a bad pick either. At all. Is there a state, by the way, we're missing before we get out of that? Not really.

Pennsylvania? Pennsylvania's top ten in talent, but you know, we'd be just fine with these other I mean, as long as you have those top four, everything after that is like, gosh, sure. There's also, the Pennsylvania thing is that I think the majority of that state population would be fine if you were just like, yeah, you just care about the Steelers now. Okay, cool.

Or the Eagles. You don't have to worry. You don't have to worry about Penn State anymore. What a liberating Steelers and Eagles. That's all you care about. Yeah, I would like to also go through. I'm sorry, and the Allentown Jaguars. Excuse me.

Yeah. Yeah, don't forget that. The other, also that follows our rule of putting pit in. if we put Pennsylvania in We generally try to put pit in wherever we can And this would be no exception The other thing that I would like to review before we go BuzzFeed has the which state should get kicked out of the United States

With a pole attached to each state Where you could just say has got to go or can stay I'm just gonna I'm gonna give you a couple these And have you guess Whether people said they should Should stay or go. Again, these are internet votes super scientific. Should Alabama stay in the United States?

I'm going to say good. I think Alabama's being ejected. I think for this one, the harder thing is guessing percentage. I'm going to say 70% said out. Ryan nailed it. It's 70.30. Ryan nailed it. I'm just going to, most of these will be southern states because I want you to see a pattern here, by the way.

Arkansas. Out. Out by a 70 to 30 margin. Colorado. I think they're keeping Colorado's in, right? 60 is 60% in. No, 93%. Okay. No, I want to lose the plug.

Go buzz! Got to calibrate for the BuzzFeed audience. Go Buffs. The, a challenging one, Florida. Always. Always a tough time. I'm going to say slightly in. Yeah, same.

It currently stands at 50-50. On brand, it's always 50-50. Is it completely schizophrenic? Yes, it's 50-50. One foot in the grave. Oh, man, Georgia, I'll just tell you, Georgia's hanging on by five percentage points, 55-45 right now. Hawaii, 95% in. Who's the 5% who's like Hawaii's got to go?

is it gotta be is it like Puerto Rico like why do they get to be in I know like like have 5% of Americans online lost a relative

to volcano sacrifice like that's the only like Tom Hanks murdered my uncle like I rate like San Jose State fans Indiana much maligned in our own

informal poll they can stay what I know, I know By a 57 to 43% That is high I really want somebody to explain to me The meaningful differences between Indiana and Arkansas

I don't actually want you to do that Like don't email me But tweet at Spencer Not bourbon Not bourbon fans by the way Kentucky Oh boy Is it

I'm gonna say 64 out Jason Yeah I'll go I'll go one higher, 65. I'll go above 60. Currently sitting at 59%. Okay, okay. Okay, yeah.

Wow. That's friendly. An inversion of most southern states, by the way, the southern state with the highest approval rating, Louisiana. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But what's very telling here is that, like, when you're asking people,

should Louisiana stay in the U.S., what they're thinking is should New Orleans stay? Like, nobody's thinking, about Monroe. Nobody is asking, this is not what's coming to mind. So the key is, if you want to stay, you need, like, one city or thing that can tether you, that can anchor you. Like, George is staying only on the strength of Atlanta, right? Correct. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It ain't making. And Florida is staying on, Florida's 50-50, only because some people like Orlando and Miami. Yeah, and by the way, the percentage there is 64.

North Carolina has a 69% can stay, but, you know, that's trended down. I think maybe that we just want to keep an eye on North Carolina. My only regret is that I wish BuzzFeed had collected data from people. First, have you ever been to this state? Because I think that's important. And second of all, have you ever lived in this state? Do you live in this state right now? And just want to, do you just want to leave?

Yeah, because my hunch is some of those Arkansas numbers are people who are legal Arkansas residents that are like, yeah, it's just not working out for us anymore. We just don't see the point. We want to play the, we want to play the field. That and that and the Western state, the Western state with the lowest approval rating. Idaho. Now they can stay. No. No. Okay. Arizona.

No? No. Utah? Utah. Utah can stay, man. Actually, you're right. Idaho has a 60 to 40. Utah's right at 63. 37. I mean, Utah is basically store brand Colorado, so.

Idaho is just what hills and stuff Why would we not want those? People love potatoes Man Yeah we'll be crying Once we don't have any potatoes Then we feel smart

You're gonna get your tater tots now bitch Can we take some questions? Yeah let's take some questions I'd love to take some questions All right Jason you got one Let's see Let me let me comb through a few About Ryan's performance at the Grammy

Since you've already I'm starting now This is from Godfather. Godfather BOS at BOS Chicago. Bill C. and Godfrey say Nanny and Spencer's U.F. self-loathing is fake. Are they correct? Man, listen, I'll handle this. No. These two individuals hate their team so much that I kind of hate Florida now as well. I have no reason to. But the very thought of having to watch or discuss or endure anything about University of Florida football, like it's the only team that I don't want

to talk about. That's how much they hate their team. It's, it's real, first of all. And second of all, other podcasts get our name out your mouth. So for context purposes, on podcast, they and played nobody. Godfrey and Bill were talking about Florida fans generally. They did sort of allude to the fact that they work with a lot of Florida fans. And Godfrey was probably calling out Spencer and I specifically because he wants to catch these hands. But, I think the difference is that Listen, they were saying that Florida fans are spoiled And yes, that's 1,000% true

And I will absolutely admit to that But I think the difference is At least to me that It's not that I am mad when Florida doesn't do well It's that Florida is real fucking boring A lot of the time And I just don't want to watch a boring football team It's not like the

It's not like the Sproyer teams We're consistently winning the national title or playing for the national title but they were interesting they were weird and fun to watch yeah I think it's that it's a style thing

there there's absolutely but the current regime and the past regime it just got dull and there's like I'd much rather have like I'd much rather have a scintillating

exhilarating eight and four nine and three see Bill and Godfrey think that Florida fans are unhappy because we have a Burger King that isn't meeting the sales numbers that we would like. When the reality is, is that we would rather own a jack in the box that might not do great sales numbers, but man, they put what on a burger? That's cool. That's fucking weird and probably gross, but at least it's something. A hearties that's on fire.

And like, if you are raised, if you're raised on Alabama or Michigan, Ohio State and your team is a boring nine wins, you don't say, Well, we got nine wins, but it was boring. You say, oh, we should have got 10 wins. If you're a Florida fan who's raised on Steve Spurrier, and you get nine wins and it's boring, we'd say, I don't care how many wins we got. It was boring. It's the lack of bravery.

I want bravery. I want creativity. I want something to wake me up. That's it. We want backraft in football form. Yeah, make something blow up. I didn't come here for efficiency, okay? It's not what I came here for.

I came here for Haymakers, all right jason ask your question from kegs dot combe on twitter after submitting twitter questions to a podcast and watching the combine what's the saddest sports adjacent activity um watching the combine of course that starts in a week or two it's the thing that we'll all do no one knows why um no one even really tries to do the amateur draft expert thing like oh look at the hips look at the explosion um Look at the, you know, we all like to hear Mike Mayock talk about butts. That's cool. But other than that, it's just on because it kind of resembles football.

It's like having high school seven on seven on when that's the closest thing in like June. It's just ambient football glow. And I don't, I don't know what tops the combine. Well, actually, actually, I'll go with fantasy football because you're doing that instead of watching the actual fucking game that you've waited months for. You're looking at your little spreadsheet. That's what you're doing all Sunday. I'll never understand fantasy football. So I'll go with fantasy football.

I will say this. The saddest sports-adjacent thing, I mean, he took fantasy football. But the saddest sports-adjacent thing to me is going to Vegas for March Madness and gambling on it. And I only say that because if you just watch, If you're not actually participating and you just watch, you look around

and there's just people losing money and they are not laughing at off. It's not oh, to the vagaries of wagering. No, man, there's people there who blew a mortgage payment. There are people there in real distress if you are sitting near

them. Like, I've been near happy gamblers and that's fun. That's great if you're in Las Vegas for March Madness. If you're near people who are actually losing, they're figuring out how to go home without getting stabbed. That's the saddest thing to me that's like in sports adjacent activity. I think getting fired up about spring games is pretty sad. Like either direction, getting angry, having any feelings.

Like, except that a spring game is what it is. And it's really just an excuse to sort of like create an environment where fans can come out and bring their kids and nobody gets hurt in theory but like it's it's it's it's always rough when you're like well you know someone so looked great in the spring motherfucker it is it is it is it is a christmas pageant of football yeah i mean the only spring game headline anyone looks at or clicks is ohio state had 100,000 people show up for practice again that's it that's all for an entire month practice the only thing we care about is whether ohio state or alabama had more people show up to a practice yeah we god um i have a i have a question please do uh it is if this is from at blank

73 long time reader not first time caller i meant what cabinet post would you want post want and why first of all none of us would actually want a cabinet post. No. That implies... We might could get one these days. Well, it seems easy. It might be a few open. It seems a little harder than it used to be

maybe, but still pretty easy. But if I had to do one of these, and all fairness, Jason and I just reviewed Cabinet Post because we assembled an entire cabinet made professional wrestlers this morning. Look on our website by the time you listen to this.

It should be up. I think one that's probably as qualified or more than the current cabinet. And honestly, that's not being partisan. Just like, no, no, no. Yeah, we have Mick Foley for Secretary of Education. I don't think anyone would disagree that that's a good hiring. Well, also, try to block him from getting in the schoolhouse. Oh, my God, he'll jump off the roof, get in that schoolhouse.

Land, we've covered the stairs with tax. That will attract him. It's like bait. yeah he likes it don't you fools no we have to have guns in schools to defend children from Mick Fully he just wants to read books to them but if I had to take a cabinet post I'm going to try to take the one where I suspect I have to do the least work and can kind of get away with with not really doing a whole lot and also not being in charge of anyone dying. You want to avoid

the ones where people die, right? So I'm going to try to stay away from, you know, your, I don't want to be the treasury, because you know, you could make a big mistake there. Definitely don't want to be your sick defense, right? Don't do that. Attorney General. No, sir.

Ryan could do that. Ryan's a lawyer. Jesus, Christ. No, please no. Please, no. Can or would want to? No, no one wants to. Right? So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the UN job.

Oh, you definitely want the UN job. Right? I have to be travel. A whole lot of travel, right? You've got to shake hands. You have to cast some mostly meaningless votes. You get a nice apartment in New York probably. Right?

So if you happen to go there, you get to stay close to the U.N. It's not a bad neighborhood. So I'm thinking this is a pretty good gig when you get down to as little actual work as possible for the most bang. I am I am shocked because you know what the Department of the Interior seal has on it, right?

I know, I know. It's a buffalo. It's a Buffalo. Yes, but can I remind you of who you have to deal with all the time if you are the Secretary of the Interior? You have to deal with... Angry Western Farmer. Yeah, you have to deal with...

In equal parts, in equal parts, you have to deal with. angry Western farmers and loggers and miners and crazy environmentalists. But I think that works out because you can just go to a meeting with one and be like, oh, geez, these other guys, you know, I got to work with them because I'm the secretary of the interior, but I'm on your side. Then you go to the other one, oh, geez, those environmentalists, they're really busting my balls, but don't worry, let's farm everything forever. Yeah, I was going to say the interior, because, I mean, you just,

I think I really need to spend like three months just inspecting stuff at Yellowstone. Bye. Also, I'm pretty sure interior is vague enough that you could just be like, oh, that's an ag question. Oh, you want to talk to commerce. Oh, yeah, that's a, yeah, yeah, I think that's a, that's a transportation issue. I just constantly be sending people to other offices. Yeah, that would be my pick.

Some of them, some of them, I don't really know. what they do, like the OMB office of manager. Careful with those. Careful. You don't actually want to sign up for a job, but OMB is kind of a job. Yeah. I would also be Secretary of Veterans Affairs for one day and sign them all up for Ashley Madison accounts and claim that I did not understand the assignment.

And that is why we will all soon be. hired? Yeah. No, I think we've all chosen wisely. I have another question. This is from David Fulton at the Real Fulton. Is the podcast better or worse during the off season? Do you like doing it more versus during the season?

Better or worse is, boy, how can something always bad be better or worse? It's beyond subjective. It's so far beyond subjective. It's meaningless. But do you, I'm curious if you two enjoy doing this podcast more when football is in season versus when it is not. I prefer doing it out of season because there's generally a lot less pressure. Right. Like you don't have, you know, you don't want to miss something during the season.

Also, with the season, I don't know. There might be two other things I have to write. There might be something else on deck. I'm already cutting into time that I've already cut out. out of the weekend. It's way easier to just do this now because we're like, I don't know. What you won't talk about? What you won't talk about? Like that's,

it's, there's way less pressure. I agree. Yeah, during the season, we have to record it Sunday night because it has to be up Monday morning or else it's super late. And then we have to have the next one up by Wednesday morning or else it's super late. This time of year, it's like, do we want to record this week?

I guess, what day? I don't know. We'll see when it pops. Okay, I will, my defense of recording during the season is that I think I hope what makes our podcast a little different from competitors in the field is that we are very upfront about how stupid we are and I like that college football season lays all of that bear so say for instance if two people on this podcast say I don't know during a preview that Texas is going to go nine and three and then in 2017 and then Texas plays its games and does not go nine and three

Like, I really enjoy the collision that that creates. And football season is really excellent for taking our preconceived notions and predictions and ideas that we understand anything at all and just throwing them against the wall into pieces. Yeah. I think the key to approaching a college football season is knowing that there are a few things that will be the same year after year after year, Alabama, will always be good. Ohio State will always be good. Notre Dame will always be overrated. And everything else is just in a blender. No one knows anything. A fourth string quarterback might be good. Might not have ever played football before. Everything is completely randomized. Coaches will be hired or fired based on those randomized details. They'll be extended far too

long. They'll be promoted far too high. They'll be fired way too early. That's the key to all of it. Just know that everyone's overreacting, and as long as you know that, feel free to join in.