Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 4.69 - Be Like Jon Gruden In All Things

Episode Date: March 15, 2017

This whole episode isn't explicitly about Jon Gruden, except it sort of is, if you consider that: - We unnecessarily hate on Stephen A. Smith, who is not Jon Gruden - We ask why more coaches can't follow the Jon Gruden Guide to Eternal Wealth - We talk about goatees and who shouldn't have them; Jon Gruden would never have a goatee - We consider who's going to totally plummet next season and therefore be eligible for Grumors (Jon Gruden Rumors) - We talk about Road House; Jon Gruden is familiar with both roads AND houses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown full cast. Man, what an exciting edition we have for you. I mean, there's nothing going on in college football, but that's never really stopped us before and never well from recording this quiet, this, I don't know, what, this podcast, that's still the word for this, right? You're not even clear on what the medium is at this point?

We've transcended. Wait, so many things. Spencer, this is a vlog. Are you not aware we can? see you right now oh my god so i should put on a shirt right no no no no that's why we've been doing the numbers have been awesome because you've been shirtless the whole time yeah through the roof that should be that should be fox sports one what they do just say like hey yeah all the programming is exactly like espn but nobody wears shirts skip skip bailis no pants skips

skip works out man he's ready for that skip pantsless completely skip is skip's totally ready for this he's been fully nude and here's the thing like some people if if spencer and i were in an argument but then we had to have the same argument down down to our underwear it would probably alter how one or both of us how like angry we got but skip skip's not that's not slowing him down for a second man he's a he's a professional He's a true professional. Do you think Skip Bayliss has never argued about LeBron James's clutch qualities while fully nude?

You're wrong. Imagine taking a shower at the gym in the stall next to Skip Baylis. He'd be trying to debate you while you're soaping up about how trash and cowardly LeBron is. It's like, man, man, I'm just wiping my butt hole with soap right now. I don't need to talk about LeBron James with you. Skip's also like, you know, he's going to drop his pants.

Like they tell him to go shirtless. He's, you know. I believe. No. No. I believe. No half measures. I believe in this concept. There are people like LeBron. Yeah. We got to level this up to Stephen A

because the Stephen A impressions are so much funnier than the Skip impressions. It's preposterous and things of that nature. Well, and also, Stephen A would still be wearing the glasses, even though he was nude. How tall is Stephen A. do you think? You've seen him in person, haven't you wrong? I have seen him in person. I want to say he's like six, two. six three. Wow! I never would have guessed that.

I think that's right. I'm going to give him six. He might, he was wearing shoes, so he could have been wearing lifts or something, but he wasn't, he wasn't like Costas or anything. The official IMDB height listed for Stephen A. Smith, and you know that IMDB only tells the truth when it comes to heights and weights for actors, actresses, and media personality. Stephen A. Smith is listed at 6-1. That can't be right. All right. Well, per IMD law, that means he's 5'9.

There's a range. There's a range. In shoes, I am sure that in shoes with a good solid heel, he's 6'1. I've seen him in person a couple times, and I didn't think he was bigger than me. And I'm about 5'11. So I'm going to give him 6. Yeah. I thought, Ryan, didn't you threaten him in an airport or something like that? No, I saw, I saw him in an airport, and I wrote a post about how he, I wrote like sort of a

kind of first takey send up on how he wasn't an elite airplane traveler. You know, the kind of thing, PFT comments are probably would have done better. No, see, I remember you tweeting at him that you wanted to physically fight him while you were in the same physical location. That doesn't sound like me. Well, I think we check the tape. I have deeply, wait, was this when I was still anonymous? if so maybe

it wasn't that long ago wasn't that long ago yeah I think we definitely got a we definitely got to no no no no I here's what I here's what I suspect happened I suspected that I tweeted

something about Stephen A and Spencer probably jumped in to say I will fight him right now no for a long time we were trying to set up Spencer to fight Skip Bayless I remember that because and at one point we were in the same city

we were in Dallas for the excuse me we were in Arlington for the title game and we tried to set it up so Spencer would fight skip in the Walmart parking lot across from Jerry World and then we decided this we'd make for a fine I guess

I guess we'd have a tag match because you called out Stephen A. Smith and said you wanted to fight him in public I did where is this have you found it? It was on Twitter.com no I haven't looked up shit I just got a good memory here's what I've found this from 2015. I said, Stephen A

is right next to me at the checking counter, and I really want to ask him if Chili's 2 has the leadership to be a winning lunch. And then I said, oh, and if you're wondering, is Stephen A, someone who crowds near the front of the boarding area before his section is called? The answer is, yo. All right, hang on.

I'm going to look this up. Yeah, yeah, that you said the following things about Stephen A. Smith in a 2015 article on SB Nation.com. I'm just going to go over the highlights. oh boy hey hey listeners you know it's great reading old content no no this is yeah this is don't try to dodge this that's fine it's on the record it's on the internet yep them go away yep

so here you said that first that stephen a had a literal me first attitude that's that's one yeah right because he apparently made kind of a forceful charge toward the front of the plane when they were boarding right yeah two that the stephen a put his personal comfort and safety above all else correct yeah correction I have a correction

okay you threaten Skip Bayless as well you said you want to give him an ass kick ass kicking at the DFW airport

so this was we were setting up a two on one handicap match wow also also Stephen A. Smith he was wearing jeans

yes he had a suit jacket dress shirt and tie but he had on jeans can I can I ask maybe taxing your memory here, but I'm just going to go a little further. Was Stephen A. wearing bad jeans? He's probably

wearing bad jeans, right? No, no, I am certain that they were probably fine jeans. They weren't good, but I would have noticed, like, I've seen especially in sports media, there are some terrible genes, and I don't remember them being terrible.

All right. And you also said that he doesn't respect the law because he was standing in the aisle when the seatbelt sign came on. on, yes, that's right. He wasn't, he wasn't on his way to the bathroom. Like, I understand that the seatbelt sign has some latitude for, you know, our, our normal human needs. But it doesn't mean you can just lounge in the aisle presenting a hazard to yourself and those around you. You're not bigger than the law. You're not bigger than federal law. That's federal law.

Wow. Stephen A. Smith doesn't respect the United States of America. Lock his ass up. So now we've pretty much reheated this. That's good. We're going to have Ryan Nanny fighting Stephen A. Smith. At Rasselmania. Our corporate partners, the WWE, made that out.

We don't. Rasselmania is in Orlando is here. You should know, W.W.E. is probably going to sue us for that one. They're not. They're not. That's parity. It's perfectly legal to do that. Yeah, we didn't mean it. Sure. We'll see. So.

You got to do, Spencer, you got to do the Rachel Maddow thing. You got to talk for about 20 minutes to establish why it was worth it. Wait, have we not already done the Rachel Maddow thing where we're talking about nothing? And people are like, hey, how about you talk about anything relevant? I mean, I think the things we've said were important and laid the groundwork for the big reveal that's coming up shortly. Yeah, I mean, really, like, there is no news this week. We mean, it's not news when Baylor gets a coach fired or an assistant fired, right? Breaking.

Bailor fucked up. I wouldn't say Baylor got him fired. I would say the coach squarely got himself fired. He did. He was texting somebody who, and this is a unique distinction, somebody who was not a minor under Texas law, but who was a teenager. Which is, it's the easiest word problem, right? Yeah. How so?

Explain this. I mean, the range is pretty narrow here. Yeah, you're like, just not something that wasn't a good idea. Is it 16 in Texas? Do I want to know? Is that a thing you should know as an adult? I don't, if you ever ask that question even in theory, it's like, ah, no, no. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's good.

Y'all don't know at the top of your heads, but, I mean, the oldest. It's 15. I feel very strongly that it's. the age of consent in the age of consent in Texas according to a website that's called age of consent that US which good God

Wow throw your laptop in the garbage It's a company laptop so it's fine Wipe it and burn it Appear to be Ad revenue appears to be 17 years old Okay so now And by the way This is this is very dumb of the staffer

because I would bet you even money he did it on the official phone that would be like I would bet that's that's maybe what ticked this off and if it wasn't it's it's totally dumb and stupid and bad because you're at Baylor and Baylor Baylor

there is no margin of error for anything now is there a chance this guy was a it was like a recruiting director or something like that wasn't a coach coach is there a chance that he thought he was talking to high school prospect and like I got to get you on campus stud you know I got I got I got to look at you up close no but man that is some Florida like defense attorney thinking right there yeah I got a defense for you Jason did you ever have you ever considered law school I might have you ever considered an uncredited law school I'm listening here here's the thing take it one step further, he knew that this was not a recruit, but he's so

progressive, he's trying to get Baylor have a woman on the football team. Oh, women's football team. Yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah, that wasn't going to work. It's bold, but it wasn't going to work. So, that happened. That's like the

only actual news from this week, and it's not really surprising because, oh, yeah, sure. Now the person got knocked off the block at Baylor. That's and should have. And the, The second Matt Rule hire, who's been released from their duties at Baylor, the first was, for what offense? Well, there was a prostitution sting. There was a prostitution sting.

And so here's the thing. You can fuck up at a school. You can fuck up at a job. And these things happen, you got to really be careful not to, in the wake of a terrible, very, like, devastating. scandal try to fuck up in just a different arena like you know get caught at a stoplight just passed out because you were drunk in your car or you know shoplift you can do you can do that and keep your job if you've been there a while you can't do it like you can't do that a week into the job no you can do that but you know you see what i'm saying it's it's it's more of like the

like hey do you know what just happened it'd be like if you were the next head coach at old miss and immediately, like, you accidentally tweeted a screenshot of you sending a routing number to a recruit, you know? Like, it's, it's the, it's like, just please do something different. If you're going to fuck up, if you're going to be a fuck up, just different. That's what we really need right now. Yeah, there was a fuck up in ways that remind people of less serious scandals, I guess. Yeah, quit, quit making it, quit making it. real easy for me to point out this is a religious school that keeps having these kind of

issues, right? Like, throw me a curveball. Make it something that I didn't expect you to have a problem with, right? Like, oh, man, you haven't paid taxes in like nine years, Matt Rule. It's incredible. We have obtained Matt Rule's tax returns. Apparently, he made, well, just, just way more than you did. Way more than you did. Even a tough... No, stay to the end of the show. We're going to tell you all about what's in these tickety tax returns. turns it's big stuff we got oh i see a seven in here and that's right and eight we have multiple numbers in the tax returns i mean he's he's of the age where he would have a respectable respectable income but if you got like toledo matt campbell like richard you know who's now at

uh at like iowa state but like like if you got like his toledo assistant numbers or maybe before that like if i went back like 10 or 12 numbers for matt campbell you'd be back into when he was like 21 something like what he's he's working he's working at the chilies too man okay so he's a graduate assistant making about nine dollars a year yeah if there's like we were talking about this internally about which head coach would you want to see the tax filings for and yeah i'm sure jim harbos and nick sabins they're interesting blah blah blah blah nick rolovich makes 400 grand a year and that's that's not bad money i'm not going to say that it is but he lives in hawaii hawaii in infamously expensive place to

reside. He works for a program that is I think pretty well known to be strapped for cash at the moment. Like, I'm betting Nick Rolovich, no shade and no hating, has maybe found a way to be like, oh, I really got to stretch this out. This 400 grand really got it last. I really got to make it last. And I don't mean the kind of irrational, like, oh man, I got to make this stretch. But we are so

like we are so used to the notion that you know coaches have way too much money which they kind of that they do because some of that money should probably be going to players but for Nick Rolovich probably has had like a month where he's gone yeah man I got to ease back on that boat fund

we're only we're only shopping at Aldi this month that's how it's got to be I'm saying I'm saving up for that down payment on the new house man if you look at how much stuff cost on the north shore. No way. That summer house ain't paying for itself. Nick's got a,

Nick's got to slow down. I'm not going to eat spam because it's, you know, because it's like the Hawaii thing to do. This is for the savings. This is for the love of the game. Yeah. I have one other note to mention, which, hey, thanks our college football.

We love you. And sometimes you on earth quotes that I haven't seen. For instance, I don't really go by Tiger Net as often as I should. That's where they have this quote from reigning national champion coach, Debo Swinney. That's, by the way, reigning national champion because Clemson won the national championship over Alabama, who blew a double-digit lead to cede the game to the Clemson Tigers. Blew a double-digit lead and late in the title game. Mm-hmm.

Can't imagine that. An unfamiliar phenomenon across multiple sports. Multiple. Not going to name any in particular. Must be awful. A 283 lead would be real bad. It wasn't that bad. That's too many.

I don't think that could happen. No, no. It's impossible, especially in something like the NFL with, you know, they've got like a short clock and guys who can tackle. It's crazy. So this is what Dabo said when asked about the culture they've created at Clemson and anchored to the mighty symbol of an adult-sized slide as a symbol of how you just got to let things flow, man.

It's not what it is. It's just actually a big slide that they have in their giant football palace facility thing. So now that the Tigers have won it all, this is the quote from the article, what happens? Have either of you guys heard this quote? It's amazing.

This is the first time I'm hearing it. I'm excited. This is brand new material. You just start up. over. You got to fight like crap to protect your culture in every area. Man. I just wanted

you've got to fight like crap to protect your culture in every area. Now I understand when you take the construct fight like hell, right? It only really works with fight like hell. I know where Debo was going with this.

He's trying to reach out for a new form of emphasis that didn't want to say hell. Fight like shit? No, that doesn't work. You've got to fight like shit. Fight like ass? Fight like ass? No, that doesn't work. No, no, no.

You got to fight like, fuck. Getting closer. I think fight like ass is what Clemson was doing in the Bowden years. Yes. Collapsing as time went on. That was that was Clemson like an ass over the years. Fight like crap. You got to fight.

You got to fight like crap. Yeah. That's that's a real like fired up. but knows parents are watching. Can't grab a profanity, even though that's what you want to grab here. Man, did you hear Davo and youth group? I think I'm worried about him.

You got to fight like crap. For the love of the Lord. It's like at least nine people covering their mouth somewhere in upstate South Carolina going, Davo said crap. Do you know what's especially depressing to me about this? Like, it's not that long ago that we would have said, Clemson win a national title over Alabama, you're crazy.

That doesn't make any damn sense. But it's true, and Clemson won a national title for the first time in, you know, 30 plus years. I would like to think that that is a circumstance where you can say, what happens next? And you are allowed to say, yeah, man, it's just awesome. I don't know. Maybe we'll win another one. Maybe we won't. It's hard.

I can tell you it's hard, having lost one and won one. but like it's just great can't that just be enough but you can't you can't do that which which is really unfortunate because pick I want you to just pick any team

that you think is like in the solid middle class of college football right now just any team in the like NC state okay sure great let's stay in the textile let's say three years from now

Dave Doran wins a national championship with nc state we're all like oh my god the wolf pack really that's amazing we're all you know college football twitter is probably rallying behind them because it's nc state and we're all excited and then dave doran has to come out two months later and be like yeah we're just focused on you know it's all we're oh and oh at this point we just got to reload that you know that's all in the past and you you look backwards that's the fastest way to run into a wall like i hate that shit. Why can't we just be, why can't you just, if you are a program that hasn't won a championship in a while, just be like, yep. So, yeah, yeah. What I want to see out of Clemson

this upcoming season is I want to see Dabo has gained like 35 pounds, is super, super tan. Players just. Rat tail. Yeah, players looking real, lackadaisical. Nobody learned any plays. No one really cares. They just sort of keep looking at the banner. The thing to do would be if you do that, I would take an example of, oh, I'll just pick one randomly. 2007,

if Rich Rod pulls that off, goes to the national title game, and runs rings around LSU, right? And we get Ohio State, however it matches up. And West Virginia wins a national championship. You quit, right?

Yeah. That's when you, yeah, you're out. Absolutely leave. Just go. Because it's never, you're never, like, you know what the next year is going to be like? Hell. It's going to be absolute hell. And you know who you need to ask about this?

Gene Chiswick. Go! Gene Chisick's out the damn game, y'all. He figured it out late, but he figured it out. I mean, if he'd been properly brilliant, he would have seen Cam Newton, right? right at the draft and gone, yeah, boys, I think it's time to buy a boat. He would have gone, hey, Nick Rolovich, saving and scraping for that boat. That's pretty bad, man.

I'm getting one right now, leaving. Look at me. I got a boat dealership. That's my new career. What'd you do? I opened a bar in Auburn. How much money does it make? Enough to cover the mortgage?

Probably make a lot, because he would be a god in Auburn. That's right. Yeah, that's it. They'd be like, okay, why don't you come back? coach you're always a guy who can come back right i got a deal i got a deal with jacobs every six years he schedules a home and home with wazoo and that keeps us going let me tell you what man put a put that in a couple of t bills maybe hit the market when it's low come back wazoo fans just roll in again it's recession proof they're like the locust i know they'll come back

they always do that and that and just leave just get that that's what you want to do if you're if you're at a school that doesn't do this very often, right? Sure, you could, you could keep working. You could. But man, if I'm like anywhere near 50 and I win a national title, hello TV. Bye, coaching. Because then, if you do that, then you can keep bumping up your TV contract because every year they're going to be like, oh, I heard Spencer's going to take the UCLA job.

you beat me you beat me to the point and that is so awesome because this is what john gruden is the most brilliant human being on her because now he's always next he's always next yeah john roon's gonna be 94 locked in Alzheimer's and they're gonna be like i don't know man i think coach is looking i think he's out you know that viking's job they got a roster i think we need to bump them up too mill ESPN paying him 58 million dollars a year you know what we can listen we can either keep the NBA contractor John Gruden look look man and NBA ain't gonna go win a Super Bowl they're out there making a plea to cord cutters like listen we owe John so much money you know please just stick around a few more months he's huddled in a wheelchair in the

corner going I call this guy pill lady because she brings me the pills this is awkward but we're starting a Kickstarter to keep John Gruden in bristle. I don't know, man. Yeah, I know we're a monolith, but boy, he just, you know, we don't know who's calling him. It's impossible to say.

Well, someone please kidnap John Gruden. You want to know how smart. You want to know how smart Gruden was, man? He pre-retired. He took a job in Tampa. And then he stayed in Tampa. Where you go when you retire? Like, he just, he

Bruce Ariens, man. Bruce Ariens just, like, got to a Super Bowl with Arizona, and he's like, man, I already set up my life here. Cool. Bye. John Gruden has not coached since the 2008 season.

And I guarantee you, this season, there will be at least one Power 5 job where somebody says, oh, John Gruden's, hey, but things aren't going great for Butch Jones. John Gruden's interested. That's what I'm hearing. That's what I'm hearing.

That's what I'm hearing. breaking here on shutdown bullcast It's always Tennessee But then there'll be some other school Sure Like I hear he's got a third cousin Whose kid is enrolled here I think he like

I've heard he likes the Northeast more than he thought Boston College Come on down You know he's always said There's just something about that Marshall job Texas State I mean just a sleeping giant There in San Marcos

Yeah so that's the move We have questions actually we don't have questions we have we have answers we have answers we flip this to a jeopardy format this week which i'm very proud of our readers because they immediately messed up like three out of the four first responses by me saying give us your answers and we will respond in the form of a question and actually including a picture of a jeopardy question from when they had a college football category and three out of four first answers were just questions there is a visual prompt i mean i think what we've learned is that our listeners, about 90% of them have never seen Jeopardy, which is fine. It's a pretty old show. It's still running, but it's the things you learn, I guess. You're just too young and cool for us. That's what we've learned. Yeah, we got to get one of them e-sports. We got to find a way to do one of them e-sports questions. We do. I do want to start with the first one. The answer, the answer is from

at Ben JGC, Ben Gilman Chomsky. This seemingly simple play is low-key the dirtiest in NCAA video games. Okay, a little context of this. I tweeted out something about the NCAA EA video game series. RIP, last one was the 2014 edition

cut in half and terminated by the completely just lawsuit about lightness as being used by schools of athletes that didn't get compensated for it. They really should get money for it. EA wants to make the game.

The NCAA sucks. That's why this hasn't happened. But a great series going all the way back to the 90s. And this led to this very long Twitter conversation where people were just fondly remembering all of their favorite like teams, plays, and Steve Slaten and Pat White.

easily 40% of the responses were yeah man Steve Slate and Pat White in that game man Steve Slate and Pat White that game West Virginia in like 2007 oh God which is true they did wreck shop but if your answer is this

this seemingly simple plays low key the dirtiest in NCAA video games I'm going to say what is forvert forvert if if

you have the middle of the field open read where the receiver to the right side on the inside runs a post. If the middle of the field is open and if not, they just carry on up the scene. I'll throw forward all day long out of that. If they're in cover two or cover

four, first down. If not, you're going to have to find a spot on the outside. That's fine. You can do that. You know what? That's when you motion you're running back over because you're running out of a two by two, four, wide set, and then you use the running back, either to run an angle route or send him deep two. My favorite trick with that play is if the dBs are backed up off your guys to have your far

outside receiver hot route him to a curl, so then you check your first read becomes for that seam, and if not, just fire the curl, he'll catch it. That's a solid eight yards right there. I mean, it's basically unstoppable. Oh, that's sinister. Absolutely sinister. I will also say the backup answer or question to this is, What is the Zone Read with Pat White and Steve Slayton in the 2007 West Virginia playbook?

Because, yeah, it didn't lose, man. It did not. And if the defensive end crashed down and you just took the ball out with Pat White, whew, bad things, like horrendous things because he hit that corner past. Absolutely beautiful Especially if you put in New All Devine And that three-back set Woo

With that's like cooking with grease man The grease fire Burn the whole house down Maybe take the forest with it That's some deeply West Virginia shit Burn down that cold polluted hill That just goes up Burns for like 30 years

Yeah I get excited when I talk about Burn down the Burn down the fire I don't know It's a lot of fire what I'm trying to say. My personal go-to-year-to-year was always the

full-back angle. That is a good one. Nobody covers the full-back, first of all. And it's just an automatic four or five yards. But he's a big guy who's probably not going to fumble. And usually you pair that with like a tight end cross. So the tight end sort

of clears everybody out with the fullback coming in behind him. And then there's also the tight end running the running sort of the other way, running an out. So then you catch that linebacker in stress, whichever way the linebacker,

that middle linebacker doesn't go, that's where the ball goes. Can I ask the flip question to both of you? What is the play that should have worked best in the NCAA but always either had linebacker

with the eyes in the back of his head making a pick or just receiver would fuck up the route or just like what was the play that you were like why won't this work well for years the option just did not work and then one year they super overpowered it and every sim it would be like Georgia Tech national title and then they I think in 2014 they brought it back down to earth and they got it pretty good pretty much right like you can you can play you can play as tech you can play as Auburn you can play ULM's playbook in NCAA

A-14 is my favorite stock playbook in any NCAA game ever But yeah, I'll just say the option in general There was a while where it was like, oh, this is simple math I have one guy here, one guy there Why is this hard? Why can't you do this? The one thing they never really got right

I never felt like they got the half-back screen right Oh no. Now, I mean, the computer could run it against you pretty well sometimes. Yes. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, but you could never run the half-back screen because guys who in college are probably, like, way over blitzing, right? Like, not even looking at having zero discipline. Guys who would do that would suddenly fall back into, like, prescient, telepathic coverage, right? Like, just, oh, yeah, I saw that coming the whole time.

They never really got that right, and or they would have cornerbacks blowing up tackles to get to the running back, right? Or the third option, it would all fall into place, and the fucking running back wouldn't turn around to catch the ball. You just hit him in the ball. Or you don't get the timing exactly right, perfect, and your running back does like a jumping spin catch of the damn screen. So like the animation takes about four seconds. Or he just dives, drives, and catches, and he's down where he got it. Cool, two yards. Also, one other note, I don't ever think they got.

punt returns exactly right. Like, I, punt returns were so very difficult to do. And I know they don't happen often, but, man, they, they didn't happen often. Which is weird, because kick returns usually felt pretty right, didn't they? Yeah, kick returns were fine. There was a year or two in there where kick returns, it was, there was sort of a hack to it that made a little too easy, like you run toward the middle, and then you immediately cut the left side line.

and you'd probably have like a 5% chance of scoring a touchdown which is a bit too high 510 whatever um but it seems like in video games they just cannot make it possible to do to like block kicks or whatever because somebody will figure out exactly how to do it and do it every time like laurence taylor and tech mobile yeah i think it was the 2007 edition that had my least favorite thing in the history of the series maybe a 2008 edition i'm not quite sure it was the one that had the 20-foot linebacker. Like if you had, yeah, you could not throw in the middle of the field because the linebacker was basically like a supercharged version of

Weakside Derek Brooks, but he played the entire middle of the field. Yeah, it was like if Derek Brooks and Dalcim had a baby. Yeah. Just like, yeah, you could throw, you could make the read completely right and the guy in the company would sink back and absolutely mob, like for a pick. It wasn't like you just, you know, you fired again. yeah that was i can't remember exactly what year that was but we're the worst glitch in the history of the game was the 18th that was like that was like every year until 14 that and the willie may's

defensive back the the you throw the bomb and the cornerback runs the route like it was thrown to him catches it over the shoulder with your receiver just sort of flailing yeah those two very cheap interception methods sort of made up for like here's the thing that one i've seen that in college football like that one that one felt like bullshit but and happened too often but it it had it was based in reality jason you have a question yeah let's see here i'm sorry do you have an answer let me let me hit you with an answer um from flex chapman on twitter this beloved vacation destination is actually trash. We have discussed

Gatlinburg on this program and this program's predecessor. I think our opinion on Gatlinburg being trash is well known. It's public record at this point. I got to go for basically anywhere in Florida on

the Atlantic coast. It's smelly. Strong. It's too crowded. It's like the awful side that somehow also more popular which makes it even more awful um the golf side is good just do the gulf side never never do the ocean side bry yeah this is easy um it's a city where i live new york i don't i i can understand if you come here for a very narrow reason like you have a kid who

loves musical theater great you should come here that makes sense or you love modern art and you want to go to one of the modern art museums. Yeah, sure. Makes total sense. Or you are, you know, like, there are specific reasons why I could see why you would come to New York City. But the idea that you just come here because it's New York, and therefore that is somehow good, I don't, I don't see it.

I really, it, it is sort of like, hey, what if you took, like, all the worst parts of Europe and made them a little bit dirtier, but also you were much more likely to get hit by a car and die because all the cars are bigger what if you go to new york city for the barbecue i mean if you're a texan yeah i get it you know you don't what what options do you have you have to get on that plane you have to you know what sucked about i mean i'm not even going to talk in depth about that but what sucks is that the restaurant featured in the tweet that shall not be named is really dope it's a really fucking good restaurant it's a really fucking good restaurant it is excellent barbecue and i think andy staples actually was like yeah you know don't just judge food

based on where it is that said i don't think new york is going to be the capital of barbecue anytime soon and here's the worst part um how much are you willing to pay for like a good barbecue dinner for four people either both you don't want you to answer this question um i just did it um i would probably like in atlanta if i'm paying for a barbecue dinner for four right you're going to what fox brothers or heirloom or one of those sure man i mean and you know we're probably going to tune it up to like 50 or 60 bucks total yeah you're you're going to expect like 80 tops probably yeah yeah yeah you're at least breaking into a hundred dollars to do the same thing here yeah so which is the bad part is that even when new york is good at things it's like yeah but you could

have the good version of that for at least a third cheaper so Yay, come to... Please don't come here. Please don't come here. I'm going to select... We were in New York just days ago, and it was okay. It was okay. You eat things encased in bread.

That's my favorite thing. They're like, man, New York is an amazing cosmopolitan place. Here's a sandwich. You're just mad. You're just mad you're too sick to go to Pock Pock. I ain't listening to you. The food is incredible. Yeah, because Pock Pock was fucking good.

Yeah, it's in Portland, too. Right? Yeah, you should go to that one. No, I should go to the, I mean, Poppuck, New York. If you're in New York, great, go to that one. If it's a toss-up, go to Portland. Why wouldn't you go to Portland instead? If you find yourself in New York, leave and go to Portland.

If it's an option, yeah. Here's the thing. If you are fly, let's say next time you're flying to New York, and they're like, this flight is oversold, and we're looking for volunteers who will jump on the next flight, It will give you $300 airline bucks and, you know, a coupon you can use a Burger King. Volunteer and then say, hey, sure, no problem. Also, I need this flight. I need to be on a flight that goes to Portland instead of New York.

Please. What would happen if you do is hijack that plane and take it to Portland. Okay, I don't recommend you do that. No, no, no. Highjackers don't really have a high success. Thank you. They don't have a high success rate in terms of the. Pacific Northwest. Do not try to parachute out of.

Spencer, what is your beloved vacation destination that is actually bad? I don't know if anyone actually goes on vacation here. I just hear people mention it, and I know that Russians go there a lot, and British people go there a lot. It always mystified me. Miami, I know it's kind of part of Jason's answer, but I want to make it specific. Because I know why I would go to Miami, and that's to like, I just go to someplace it's like kind of sketchy and where you like get drunk that's you know maybe if you're in college you go there to find drugs there's really not a lot to do in Miami like you can go you can't go fishing you can go clubbing you don't want to go clubbing in Miami do you know what it is

it's like the worst people on earth they're all very attractive that's why they're the worst people on earth they don't have to be good right they have money and they're very attractive and they have no taste. That's, that's Miami. And I don't want to go out. I'd like to have something to do. You never hear about incidents at the club in Bloomington, do you? Yeah, no, no, no.

Those are fine people who all want to get along with each other because they're not good enough, they're not good looking enough or superficially good looking enough to be rude, right? But Miami, no, man, like, you can go hang out there, but like for a vacation, what are you going to take a kid to do in Miami at all?

You can go to the beach and look for DJ Khalid. Yeah. It needs help. He needs help at wrangling at all times. You can go to the smoldering beach, the 9,000 degree beach there, right? Where you're going to have to park, all everyone out, and then take them to your hotel, which is in all likelihood not on Miami Beach. It's not. After you do that, I don't go to, like, I don't know what you do in Miami.

You can go to a Marlins game. you could go see the world's most amazing scoreboard so yeah i don't really understand you could go play for the marlins that you could do yeah you could go buy the marlins you could go build a marlins stadium that's a complete possibility or you could go enjoy a fine miami hurricanes game with dozens of your friends tickets still available tickets still available it's a cheap it's a great family event right so i was wrong. There, I proved myself wrong. Go see a Kane's game.

Russians. You said Russians of Miami. They do, man. Every Keynes game, just full of Russians. You're just going to pumping house music. These guys are awesome. This is why Luther Campbell is complaining about the music at

Miami games. It's all tattoo. All right. This question is from predicate driver at Gimmie Gritz on Twitter. This team will go 2 and 10 when everyone expects 8 and 4. That is a real steep fault. Like if you want, here are the teams who went 2 in 10 last year.

Virginia, Kansas, Rutgers, UMass, Buffalo, and Texas State. I don't think we believed any of those teams would go 8 and 4, did we? I mean, I know we said a lot of dumb things in last year's pre-year. No, I'm going to guess Texas State was a good. closest set like four and eight but but if you bump it up to three and nine you do get one school that i think eight and four would have been imperfectly reasonable uh that's michigan state let's let's get this out of the way now notre dame went four and eight michigan state went three and nine and the only reason that notre dame has to swallow that shit sandwich for the rest of the

off season is because one of Michigan States three was against Notre Dame. So it ended whatever argument could have happened there. So if you're looking ahead to next season and saying who is going to be to Michigan State, who are you going with? Who is North Carolina? Yeah, I was just going to say this. I swear to God, I was going to say the same team. Wow. I have a couple of, I have a couple of other suggestions because, I mean, yes, the obvious pick is, oh, you're losing a good quarterback and some skill players, North Carolina, and you're an offense-dependent team. Good luck.

And your defensive coordinator just retired. Yeah, yeah, just gave up. Yeah, man, later. He did what he was supposed to do everyone. I've done all I can. Yeah. I can't watch this anymore. Yeah, that's one team that, yeah, for sure.

I totally think that they could go from being an eight and four, eight and five to, to, being like a I don't know a two-win team but like a three-win team ACC's on the come-up it is hard right now yeah yeah I mean every team in that conference is tough or close to tough other than say Virginia

and like it's not like UNC has some sort of talent advantage you know over like the above average ACC team so yeah heels you're fucked you heard it here first um i like that uh UCLA feels like a good pick for this except they went four and eight last

year another team that just crashed and burned already let it ride ryan without any so all right no that's a fair pick because josh's coming back yeah they'll say okay they'll you know they'll turn this around i'll i'll give you can i give you my four wait oh you have you the reverse yeah i want to i want to the reverse okay go ahead this this team could go from four and eight to eight and four and my answer would be what is syracuse oh you're liking it oh you're like i don't i don't hate it i do i do want to see who they play in 2017 um oh it's not it's not pretty it's not bad it's not bad though i mean they they have to play a road game at lSU and yeah they're probably going to lose that game, which is fine.

But other than that, they play, they play MTSU, they play Central Michigan. They have an FCS game on here. They got to go to Florida State and the, well, all right, yeah. If they go ahead. Put me down for Oregon there. You think Oregon's doing the full flip, 4-8-8-8-8-4? I'll take the easy one. Okay.

They return a ton and coaching upgrades on both sides of the ball, I'd say. Yeah. Agreed. I think that's, that's, that's an extremely, that's plausible, right? Oh, you know, another plausible? How about, how about Notre Dame? Yeah, no, you're not wrong. Yeah, based on, based on Bill's numbers last year, Notre Dame played like an eight and fourteen. Yeah, they did. Played like an eight and four team already. Like, I remember, we looked this up, of their eight losses, seven were by a single score. Yeah. Now, I will say, if, if you, if I had to pick one, One team that went 8 and 4 last year that's going to go 2 and 10 this year, that team is LSU. Not because that's not personal.

That's not like that that really isn't me like just being hateful. But the thought of like, you know, oh, Ed Orgeron couldn't beat Florida so he didn't get the job. Yes, he does. Coach O in the building. Oh, we got to, we got to run them up. Are we going to get them? And then two and ten? I mean, because if LSU does go two and ten,

you know what one of those losses is going to be, that Syracuse game. Yeah. But by the way, that's a mean, that's a mean matchup. I mean, Syracuse, they'll make you tired. I don't know what else they'll do, but they'll make you tired. A really funny one would be Minnesota going from 9 and 4 to 2 and 10 in the first year under PJ Fleck.

Which they could, man, man, that's Peaclick and, and I think also Willie Tagger are those guys who, Year 1 is for the Pavin, right? Like, oh, that's nice house you got there. Don't read a lot into it. This is demo. You watch, you watch Fixer Upper. This is demo. This is, this is beta footage.

Yeah, exactly. This is, you'll see, this is, this is just a tester, right? There's a lot of rendering that's going to happen here. Don't worry about it. Still reticulating this line. This is not a playable demo, no. Yeah, you don't, you're one. Just, just write it off, man.

Write it off. Look for the positives because you're going to have to. There's a lot of learning how to do, there are those coaches who are like, we're going to teach you how to do everything over again, right? Everything. PJ's standing in the snow, like, I am so fired up about this program

and the direction we're headed. I realize we're 0 and 7 right now, and that might sound a little ridiculous, but every day I see the young men coming in ready to fight and we are just so fucking fired up right now you do a great fj man that's good jason's the only good part of this podcast we've said that private we've said that privately and i hope we've said it publicly too i'm i'm out here being naked represented our all of our shortcomings oh man let me tell you this if pj flax can get minnesota to let's just say

one big 10 title game he doesn't even have to win it he needs to do the john gruden thing go to TV, hang out, and just let that, oh my God. He's so young and healthy, he could do TV for like 70 years. Right. Yeah. And as we know, TV, the business that is in no way broken.

We'll definitely be around for 70 years. Especially cable. Especially cable. Especially ESPN. Yes. The thing PG should do is I want him to have some kind of, you know, the CIA had this thing where you could take a C1 and it had this large

kind of frame on the front with a dangling like, basically it had like an immense claw on the front and what it would do is it would go over to an extraction point where there was a contact waiting, right? And the person who needed to be extracted had an enormous like balloon. Like in Batman. Sure, the CIA actually

did this where they had an extraction team that would take somebody, pick somebody up like this and gradually reeled them in, right? That's exactly how PGAF should leave Minnesota if he gets them to 10 wins. Like 10 wins and a spot in the Big 10 championship game, win or lose,

he'd just step out on the street in Indiana. Goodbye, run the boat. He does the same thing via boat. Like, dives into an ocean and then like the big tugboat just whisks him away. But at tugboat speed, so it's like a real slow whisking.

Captiving it, Rex and Ryan. later suckers actually it'd be raw Brian come on taste my ass losers yeah it was called the Fulton Surface to Air Recovery System by the way and it was spectacular

that's totally how PGFlex leaving the job if he gets them the 10 wins like he should even attend the press conference I just feel like yeah bye guys nice I have another question.

Okay. It's a very short one. Another answer. This is from our good friend, Dr. Norris Camacho, aka Rush Roberts, at Good Bull Hunting, our Texas A&M site. This Big 12 coach built an elaborate

Lego diorama of the fight scene in Roadhouse. Typically, we don't really indulge too many coach questions because, I don't know you guys ask a lot of them. But, but, This just feels at heart to me like a Gary Patterson. This is totally Gary Patterson. But who does Gary Patterson relate to in Roadhouse? Is it Dalton?

Oh, my God. And he had a quarterback named Dalton. Holy shit. It's all coming together. Wow. Levels. Levels. Why do you think you're crazy?

He's like, normally I don't trust Redheads at quarterback, but this guy's named Dalton. I think for most people when they read this They think Mike Gundy You see the hair But I don't think he's got time for that shit I think Gary is nerdy enough to do this Right he's nerdy

And like he's you know Sort of like He's nerdy and he doesn't seem like The kind of guy is like You know I think Gary will kick off routine Right and he's like no man I'm gonna play guitar for like 45 minutes Gary has definitely watched a YouTube tutorial

On how to rip out another person's throat and practiced on a watermelon or a turkey, right? Just calling somebody at like 1.30 in the morning. Hey, you know you can practice on a turkey, right? A live turkey. So we can rule out Bill Snyder, too old. David Beatty, too young. Holgo, because he probably drank through the movie.

He doesn't remember any of it. Yeah, Matt Campbell, I would say he's too busy. Way too young, way too young. Right. yeah like bob stoops is having no fun i don't see that bob stoops is the kind of person who would ever admit to mirth right not to it not to the press at least hey hey i made a i made a lego sculpture of my butt and mailed it to nick sabin i bet yeah isn't that funny mike that's so funny bob bob suits watches roadhouse and he's like oh monster trucks get terrible gas mileage you know that right Yeah, Bob's watching

He's like, look at this asshole He's driving down the middle of the road He's not even looking where he's going Singing some song Shabooam Just silly It's like something they do in the SEC That's like the SEC

Driving down the middle of the road Singing Life would be a Dream Until they hit us Which character tackles Baker Mayfield Through a damn wall Ooh Is that Sam Elliott? Yes

because he already has kind of a cop luck to him. Yeah, I, I, uh, that, that looked painful. It looks very pain. If you do not see Bakerfield, hey, pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt. That was, that was the rare one where the actual video, I think topped the rumored video that was on Twitter. Like the, when the arrest news first came out, there was this, oh, is this, the Baker Mayfield footage might be kind of thing going on.

And it was like, basically a dude getting super. this look even worse he was getting form tackled into a damn wall but that and uh that and when it happens right in that video i i you just like get kind of an idea of exactly how painful it must be to play college football as a quarterback because he recovers pretty well from that right listen listen all that told me he's ready for the arena league rodeo tackling. Man, if Bud was on here, he would tell you, yeah, he is. Just take a look at that form.

It's just terrible. Big 12 is basically a arena league already. It's the worst conference. It's my favorite bud thing about the Big 12. You can be in your kitchen and you can whisper the word Big 12 and his head will appear, his head will appear from a cabinet, like the door will flyer. Like Johnny. Yeah, exactly.

He's right. If somebody wants to send us a Photoshop of Bud as Jambi on Peabee's Playhouse, I will thank you very much. Like a looka-hahim, like a honey-ho, the big 12th is the worst team, you know. Yeah, I have one other question. It's not even a question.

Somebody just sent me an answer. It's just the picture of Jim McElwain with his new goatee. Jim McElwain, go to Florida. Somebody just in response to give me an answer. answer and I'll give you a question. The answer that he sent me

is Jim McElwain with what I've got to say is a really everything about this goatee is wrong. This goatee has problems. So let's let's talk let me throw out a generalization here and I want to see if either of you agree with that. When you are over a certain

age, and I'm going to say like 27 or so, if you decide, hey, I don't have X facial hair and I'm going to try X-Facial. hair it's because some stuff in your life stuff in your life is not ideal something is wrong and you're using facial hair as a way to like literally change the person that you are at that moment in time yeah either you're on just you're in disguise you're hiding um you're hiding from the law

i think i would put it like you if you haven't unlocked that facial hair by age uh 25 27 30 somewhere in that range it's not in your toolkit and if you try to put it on people are going to realize it's it's an aftermarket you know you have to actually level up and earn it by having a you know a terrible version as a teenager and then you have a pretty awesome version later on if you start with the terrible version when you're already old nah that ain't going to be a fit i mean i feel like i'm speaking directly to spencer's soul here and i feel bad about that but i have i have many thoughts on facial hair development all right and that you really should It's a commitment, correct?

Now, this is, again... You have demonstrated that for sure. See, Spencer's tried everything at this point, though. So along that way, he's found several fits. And I'm very fortunate in that most of them look okay. Like, my face holds facial hair pretty well, mostly because it's covering something up. That's great.

The more of this gets covered up, the happier I am. And the mustache, I will tell you this. The mustache, it's the starter kit. okay, because pretty much everybody can at least grow a semblance of a mustache. The goatee got issues with the goatee. Okay.

Because the goatee, the goatee is just like, it's 1992 edgy, right? And it gradually graduated into some kind of respectability that I don't think it necessarily can carry. And if you can grow it, right, then maybe you should just grow a beard. Why would you grow a goatee if you could grow beard. You got to shave with a goatee. It's one of the dumbest forms of facial hair because the whole

point of having facial hair is not shaving. Correct? I mean, I think if you have, if you're a white guy with a goatee and you're not a strength coach, you need to reassess. Dude, if you're a white guy and you're a strength coach with a goatee, I'm still going to make fun of you. Oh, man, strength coaches can pull off the goatee. I think the goatees look fine on everybody, on on everybody with some actual skin tone to them. It's just white guys the goatee. it looks ridiculous if you don't have just a really large square head and no neck no way man that's like the guti is the color me bad of facial hairs okay it's it's just it doesn't work i don't think it works on i don't think it works on anyone it works on stone cold

steve austin let me i mean it works wow let me let me hopefully solve this here yeah you do you both like under siege the film buddy like that like doesn't cover my emotions okay you know what stephen seagall doesn't have in that that he does now a fucking goatee

oh that's right no way man the goatees the goatee is a sign that you are in decline what i really like is that if you google stephen seagall goate the fourth result for me is an uprocks article entitled

a history of stephen seagall's body transformation from thin to fat. That sounds like a good post. Wow. You know who still... That's a good blog. I mean, we don't excuse people for this, and we really shouldn't excuse them for this.

Like, you know who's got to go tea? Like, late period drunk, horrible Johnny Depp. That's who's got to go tea. You know who's got to go tea? Leonardo DiCaprio. Okay? Because in his head, I guarantee you,

it's still 1997. Also, all of the Golden State Warriors. All of the Golden State Warriors. You can't, you don't want that. You don't want to root that. You can't support that as a human. You really can't. You know who else has a goatee?

Remember, when he wants to be evil, like the lamest but most malevolent villain in TV history? That's right, the man without taste, Walter White. Walter White's like, I'm evil, a goatie. That's a common move, though. I feel like there's a lot of movies where the evil version of the character just sprouts a black square around his mouth. I can name one man who looks good with the goatee besides Stone Colt Steve Austin. One.

Just one. Will Smith. No. Will Smith should always have the kind of corny mustache. Nah. Try to imagine Will Smith totally clean-shaven. You can't do it. You can't do it.

You can't. Yep. There was one. He did it, though. he did it. It was a space movie or something. Yeah, it was probably terrible. I think it was the one that nobody saw and it kind of bombed his career.

All right, sorry. Who looks good with a goatee? Jeff Bridges. Jeff Bridges. Is the answer, yes. And Idris Elba, but that doesn't count. Nigelba, please. Idris Elba doesn't count. Not for beauty standards. You're like, you know what Idris Elba looks good in? Everything.

I hate his pretty face so much. Imagine us critiquing Adres Elba. or Jeff Bridges, hell. He's got pointing knees. Or Jeff Bridges, I would just go around talking like Jeff Bridges' characters in westerns all the time. Man, I just found a picture

Adam Sandler with a goatee. That's the picture we're using for the post, damn it. When we post this, you save that picture so we can get Adam Sandler with a goatee and some gigantic pants. And we can point to it and go, nostalgia sucks. Don't ever believe that the past is good.

We'll do that, but you have to promise me that we're not going to explain it anywhere in the post or the title of the post itself. Until the 67th minute This is our Donald Trump's text return. Boom, there it is. Told you we'd work our way to it. Jim McElwain's fired. He grew a OT.