Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 7.01 - Not Dead Yet, Sorry

Episode Date: April 19, 2017

The Fullcast was gone for a little while, and now it isn't. Naturally, it's time for some meaty football talk about topics like: - Richard Spencer, and how dumb it is to appeal to racists in the South by telling them football is bad - Alex Jones and the neurology of chili consumption - The path to a Rutgers spot (or two) in the College Football Playoff - Florida Atlantic's new recruiting hashtag #BLOWEDUP18 - Kentucky's TaxSlayer Bowl Attendee rings - American Gladiators and Disney (not related, missed opportunity by us) - Mark Davis. Just a banner episode for dumb white guys! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome The fuck Got the festive one To the shutdown Fullcast Yeah we took two weeks off Some sometimes people need that Sometimes you know

Sometimes people need a little break Sometimes people have travel plans They barely have you know Awareness or control up And they can't get on the same schedule It's mostly my fault y'all Can I ask a question If I sent you an itinerary

tomorrow for a one-way flight would you just would you just be like oh fuck I forgot I guess I got to go to the airport and get on that plane um yeah it's dicey it's dice at all times

but you wouldn't ask any questions right you wouldn't be like I don't remember booking that because you never remember booking any of your travel nope nope I I would definitely just take what you handed me. Boy, going to Cape Town. I'm excited to see what I'm going to do there. Are there airport codes that Spencer would totally not recognize?

Absolutely. BWR. I don't know where that is. Buffalo Wild Rings. It's a Sonic the Hedgehog level. No, it's the Buffalo New York Olympic Park for the 20078 Olympics. That Buffalo will probably win. Summer Olympics.

Yeah, because it'll be 95 degrees in Buffalo then. They'll be like, the Winter Olympics, what happened? You're like, wow, Russians bought a lot of real estate in Buffalo. Weird. It's weird that the Olympics have suffered so much in terms of a crash of prestige over the past 20 years. Seriously, in 2017, like, we joke about it. Birmingham's getting the Olympics. Fuck.

Oh, my God. That's how low red it will be then, right? even Birmingham will qualify. I'm glad we'll be gone by then. Did you guys see what's happening in the state of Alabama tonight? Oh, yeah. That would be white supremacist and nationalist Richard Spencer doing a speech at Auburn.

And I'm not ashamed, by the way, that we share the same name because, in the words of office space, he's the one who sucks. Fuck him. She'd get punched every day. By the way, he, tonight, said the following. You ready for the question? Oh, I'll let you have it here. Richard Spencer tonight said this at an SEC university.

SEC football is sick. Black athletes not part of white identity. I would ban football. Phew. Yeah. Yeah. Now, we should also, you know, no. Yeah, there's some people in that room.

There's also way more people outside. including someone dressed as a carrot a dude dude just dressed as a carrot outside are carrots problematic or are carrots woke I would say both but that one is extremely woke

woke climatic are we sure it's not ironically woke um it could be it could be we're going to find out we'll be like oh man that carrot is great then tomorrow on the internet it will that carrot is racist yeah yeah oh carrots are the new symbol of the really resistance and then oh shit the carrot was on 4chan water shut down is racist we're sorry um the carrot is the new pepe yeah what what i like is that so look i'm not going to say that there are not people of racist persuasion in the south there are they're everywhere and the south is included in everywhere and there are there is probably a segment of students at all

Like there are at probably every major non-HBCU institution that lean towards the white supremacists. HBCU's got baseball teams. Okay, fair. The one way that you were not going to get them to rally to your cause is by using football as the fulcrum. Because I guarantee you this. There are plenty of deeply, deeply racist people in the South who have come to terms. with their racism and their love of football, a sport full of non-white athletes. They have already made that transaction in their mind, and you will not break it from them.

So, like, I can't think of a worse sense of, like, audience and time, of all the sort of strings you could pluck for racist white people. You're going to go with SEC football at Auburn? what it's not even like they came off a bad year go to a school where they just fired somebody also we should we should we should we should remind everybody where richard spencer went to school that's right duke yeah oh and and and and it gets even dandier also virginia yeah so duke and virginia so there you go if you if you want to if you just want to sit back and think about that delightful little nugget for a moment. Yeah, he went to Duke and UVA. I like the idea of going to Auburn and telling folks that, like, black athletes shouldn't

get money. Like, I mean, shit, then at Auburn, they think black amateur athletes should get money. I mean, you're parked up the wrong tree, brother. Right. Not my brother, brother in the, in the human sense. I don't know this dude. As a UVA fan, I can tell you, football has done nothing for me. Nothing. why he's why he's so bitter buddy oh yeah yeah it's probably enough there's probably it was that peach bowl it was Auburn beat Virginia in that peach bowl that's what did it shit you know what you know what if you if you there's I will say this I can understand why some people who were already predisposed in a certain direction if you if you were I don't

know how old Richard Spencer is but I feel like he's in our age range if we're if you were a UVA fan and you had to watch Michael Vic play for Virginia Tech yeah I can see how that would contribute to your racism. I can see how that would really drive a nail into you. That does it. That does it. Now I'm racist, he says. I would also say this.

Auburn. Auburn's not the place to make that argument. That's not just because it's in the SEC, and you're not going to make people sort of, you're not going to make people sort of choose between football or racism. No, no, no. They bought that whole package a long time ago.

They reconciled that need. as you said but in addition to that the greatest football athletes for Auburn it's not like Florida if you were like a crazy racist at Florida you could at least dog whistle and say yeah you know that 08 team lot of thugs didn't do it didn't do it the right way Tebow Tebow really made that team go well at Florida your statues it's all white guys it is all white guys exactly right Auburn they got two two statues of black guys I mean, you're standing on a campus with statues of black men talking about they shouldn't be allowed here.

Statues. Yeah. Like, you picked the wrong one. Go to Florida. Probably, I'm a Florida fed high. I'll say that, okay? There'd probably be more people receptive that because you've got three white guys on statues. I mean, shit, man.

That's what Georgia and Ole Miss are for. But honestly, I kind of like the idea of this dude going around and establishing, like, pick either, football or racism, because I know which one will win. Like, even among, like, the absolute worst people in the South or any other region, they're going to pick football, and that's cool. I mean, just, just anything to knock racism down on anyone's depth chart, great, fine. I mean, there'd be very few things that could do that in the American South. Football, football's going to come dang close.

There'll be a recount, right? Like deep, deep Chad or, you know, Brad or, you know, whatever his name is. He'll be awake deep in the night, right? Like, oh, dang, I don't know, man. I got to decide between football or racism. But on the coffee, it's going to be a long night. Hold on. Can I be? There's no turbo tax for this.

Can I be racist in between signing day and the spring game? Compromise. 360? No, there's no three. You got away with that once. Three fifth compromise. There will be no three-fifths compromise for your year. Oh, my God. Boy.

You choose between football. I'm excited for people who are like, oh, wow, full cast hasn't recorded in a while. Let's see what they're, oh, oh, boy, just jumped right in. My favorite part about this is before recording, we said, should we talk about the NFL draft? Nah, let's do that next week. All right, fuck it. Press record. And this is what happens.

oh it's my favorite my favorite topic in the world let's discuss college football and racism train goes eight miles off the rail all right so there's this nazia at all right into this i will say this though richard spencer meets the requirement for georgia quarterback name spencer richard richard spencer yeah that's good i will i will say this though he can't really play quarterback in the SEC because goes down on one hit you got to be able to stand in the pocket that boy cannot take a hit that boy

can not take a hit no man he's like not even sunbelt quality quarterback right there I don't want to integrate the sunbelt man I'm just sitting here shaming the name of crates like Dwight Dasher not going to do that so in happier news I'd like to go up the road to Alabama

remember there's only two teams of college football it's Alabama in office It's a weird thing. Everybody else got relegated. Two-team league. Auburn in Alabama. There was some other news that I think is worth hearing

during the Tuesday edition of Rusillo and Canal. And I appreciate the internet, by the way, because I don't listen to Sports Talk Radio. Not even when I'm on it. This was said by former Alabama D.L. Jonathan Allen. The thing he enjoyed most

at Alabama the most what do you think it was gentlemen if you've seen it just go ahead and admit you have I haven't seen this material I haven't seen this material either oh this is good you can react with genuine joy and surprise okay and dear listener

you know this is genuine joy and surprise because setting this up would have required a pre-show meeting oh we are too lazy to lie on this show yes oh easily watching Sabin crush Kiffin, Alan said at practice. It was our goal to see how many

times we could get Coach Sabin to motherfucker Kiffin. He didn't say motherfucker on air. It says MF. I'm going to spell it out for you. I mean, that was our goal. It was during drills. We would just try to blow it up and just destroy it and kill the offense. Then you wouldn't know Kiff is just going to get it

after you blow it up in the back field. That's probably the most fun we had at Alabama during practice this year, watching Coach Sabin lay into Kiffin. he said something pretty similar around uh around title game time but with a little bit less color and joy it sounds like no i think he's free now i think i think i think you know anyone you look back in your college days like ah shit that was really fun you know drinking like four beers and playing tigerwood's golf on the game cube but you know for some of us it's oh shit that was

really fun watching kiffin get cussed out hey this this is only good for lane because he can spin this and be like look i got i inspire first round defensive talent even though i'm an offensive coach that's that's i'm a motivator he's going to chop that quote up into a meme and as soon as alan gets picked on draft night it's going out from his account yep like it's just we enjoyed lane kiffin dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot at practice at practice at practice That's the last time we had. FAU recruiting hashtag, blowed up 18. I also enjoyed this, that Florida Atlantic University had three students.

I'm sorry, described as men. They're not verified as students. One of them's 30. Do you want to know, this is, man. That's a doctorate student. We're already into the Florida here, aren't we? you go a 30 old man drinking beer in a stadium some good Florida coming

three guys just went into FAU Stadium to drink beer just you know hanging out man that's it and to me like that's what you know you should be able to like sit in a stadium and drink beer you know one of the great things about the University of Florida they pretty much leave the stadium open

you can go and do it every way want pretty much as long as it's not well probably not drinking but you can probably have one just don't don't get in the way that people run in stairs man they're mean if if you if you could pick any stadium to go into and drink by yourself what should it be um it'd be i would you know it'd be the swamp because you know it's uh that grass that grass is like fairly cozy it's a little wiry but it's a nice it's you know if i wanted to just sort of lay down there that'd be fine ants though ants and sand are a real problem there. Cancel that answer. I would probably go into Notre Dame because

even if there were people in it, I could enjoy peace and quiet. Got them. I was going to say the Carrier Dome. So you can just really sweat it all right out. I just have very fair skin and I'm worried about burning. Okay, that's smart.

Yeah, I think actually my serious answer would be if I could get drunk at any stadium just by myself it would be the rose bullet sunset yeah i'd start i'd start crying just from sheer beauty like have you seen the wonder have you seen the miracle of god's work on this earth yeah that that would be my serious answer i would go to camp randall with a six pack and i would open one and just set it down and see how long it took just got 10 wisconsin students right here oh they just like materialized like mosquitoes in dead water Yeah, sort of like

Like Harry Potter's parents They just pop up like Hey, you look like you can use some help there Like how in the 1500s If you left meat sitting around It would turn into flies That's right I'm thinking more like if you have

You know like a mini-counting So the beer is turning into Wisconsin students Is that what you were telling you? Yeah, I thought that's what you were saying Like it's Ninja Turtle ooze or something Yeah, yep No, I was just thinking anytime

If you were actually sitting in Camp Randall And you opened a 12 pack right yeah it's like when you go to the convenience store and get one of those like nickel pound cakes right or some and sort of just leave it out like just throw it out and be like here look raccoons will come they'll be here in like five minutes that's that's what would happen just crack one beer and it's like now how do you open a 12 pack does that like swing a sword across it yeah you know who know the answer to that Wisconsin students okay or In general, people in Wisconsin.

Yeah. Ryan, you had a load of questions, didn't you? Yeah, we haven't done this in so long, but I forgot to tag either of you in the questions. That's all right. Man, this is so good. I'm glad that you're not prepared either. It's been so long.

You forgot our handles? Probably don't even follow us anymore. Don't even use Twitter, actually. Nah, Johnson, I love you on Twitter. Johnson, Kark. All right, we're going to start with this from N.D. Eddie Mac at N.D. Edie Mac on Twitter. What is the most important thing you've forgotten due to a large bowl of chili? So let's provide a little bit of that chili.

Let's provide a little bit of context here. Our beloved friend of the airwaves, Alex Jones, fellow broadcast. That's right. We are on the same level. Alex Jones is currently in the midst of a divorce trial, I believe, divorce proceeding in Texas. And apparently at some point he was deposed prior to this trial and could not answer several questions about his children and claimed that this was because prior to the deposition he had eaten a very large bowl of chili which raises a number of questions number one chili might be the worst thing to eat before an important legal proceeding and number two number two let's let's let's

accept that there is some amount of it sounds ridiculous but let's say that medically there is some amount of chili that you can eat that will start to blood blood will have to rush to your stomach to help digest it it will pull away from your extremities that's why you're not supposed to go swimming after you eat but we'll eventually also pull blood from your brain that's how dire this chili situation is what's that volume what are we talking about here do you think would it would it be the salt that would do it um i mean i i would say this assume salt assume constant level of salt across all chili samples here right we're talking about what volume of chili would really put the hurt on you i have a i have a number

hit me like a definite number right so the human's stomach right do you happen to know what its capacity is off the top of your head i know it's i feel like it's not a gallon because that's the whole problem with the gallon challenge so i think it's less than that okay so it can expand okay okay it really can all right um starts at about a leader okay a little little more than a court so we're working in both Imperial and Metric here. Okay. It can hold way more. Now, that can vary a lot, okay?

And you can hold, like, you know, it can get like about a 50-ounce drink. You can get that down. It's not a problem, okay? You can probably get up to two liters, and you're going to be very uncomfortable. And I want you to think about two liters of chili, okay? Served out of a two-liter bottle. You can get that in Texas. What I need is Mountie.

undo bottle, dump it out, put the chili in, and then go to work. All right. So my answer, my answer would be... That's why it's called code red, by the way. It's going to be all kinds of red and brown. Maybe some colors you're not used to once it keeps everything out of your intestinal system. Yeah. So your answer is?

My answer is two and a half liters. That's going to put you in a bad. If you can do two and a half liters of chili, that's a bad day. you're going to feel really bad, and the next day you are going to be experiencing the warp scenes from Interstellar on the toilet. So here's the problem. I don't, I think this is an almost impossible question to answer because I don't believe Alex Jones eats out of, like, easily measurable containers. Like, if you told me Alex Jones eats chili out of a bedside table drawer, just pulls out the drawer, fills it with chili and starts going to town, I'd absolutely believe you. I'm gonna guess he eats like so survivalist people they they eat out of these huge like drums of powder that you can rehydrate and turn into food so like in Alex Jones's kitchen if he's authentic that this dude's lawyer also said he's all you know this is all bullshit and he doesn't really believe that like looking at a frog makes you gay or whatever but okay it's a little far-fetched you're trying to tell me Alex Jones isn't crazy

But, assuming he really is true to life, he's got huge drums of ingredient sitting around his kitchen. So, like, he's going to just dip a bucket into the meat drum, dump that on the plate, and do the same with the beans. And then he's going to just swash water all over it and dump that on his face like he just won a ball game. Tomatoes! Yeah. And also, I think it's got to be cold for some reason. will say this is how you get this is how you get

Jeopardy sort of revived Jeopardy, it's a good game show tried and true but it's a little stale if you gave all three contestants endless chili and they had to be eating constantly while they were answering my god what television that would be

like the like the fucking Seven Deadly Sins movie the gluttony man but that guy's also playing Jeopardy. This is good. Alex Jones' first role. Alex Jones has been in movies.

He was really good in that. He was also good in the Monty Python one where the dude eats so much. He has to puke in a bucket before he explodes. He's not really all that fat. He's just man, what a vivacious face. He's like

the juggernaut or Kingpin. He's like any fat Marvel character. He's like, boy, a lot of power in there. A lot of chili eating power in that body. he's just the thickest man in radio he is and is somehow only is somehow

43 years old oh horse shit that's that's his age is 43 well is that age since since he killed bill hicks and and put on his

face skin and stuff the corpse with chili that's what the globalist want you to believe that's what they want you to believe the cucks the globalist cucks the globalist cucks The cogs, the globalist cugs with that witch? Yeah, that's... There, with their gay green fingers?

The robots who want to take you? The warm-blooded American, freedom breathing you, that's what the globalist what? I want to say, I really, I am so proud of the attorney who decided, okay, our legal strategy is going to be that Alex Jones is playing a character, that he doesn't believe, that he's not that outrageous, that this is all performance. And also, to prove how normal he is, we're going to say that he has chili amnesia. You know, the way one does. So, has any of us ever forgotten anything due to a substance that was not drugs or alcohol? I mean, I've canceled plans, but I haven't forgotten that the plans existed. Okay.

Yeah. Because I actually don't see how this is possible. yeah like maybe maybe if um um it's uh it's mind could mind control chili maybe if you drop that two liter mountain dew on your head suffer a concussion i don't know again did you put water in this chili was it fluoridated that's kind of time i brain rehydrate this chili um i'm going to you need to go make children i'm going to move on to an even crazier question really this This comes from Jeff Kelly at Slanch a Man on Twitter. What would it take?

What confluence of events would they need for Rutgers to make the college football playoff this year? So I'll tell you exactly what. We would need for it to be 1869, which would mean there are only two college football teams. In that case, Rutgers could have two of the slots. But somehow it would only get one. And somehow lose. Like that story from 1996 when Rutgers lost. to its alumni team look it up it's true so um what i like about i like college football because it is

everybody does start from the premise that yes maybe this will be the year that you go on the totally unexpected run and you complete a dream season it happens less and less often in modern college football but it's still possible um do you know who ruckers plays the first week of the season at home uh washington yep so hey good night good night green i'll do it i'll get you a win over top ten

Washington and buddy rutgers is also receiving votes that uh i would also it must have been a real joy then to only have two teams oh man that was a good game coach what tape we're watching well thought i'd get out the old zoetrope

and uh we've watched some flip books of I guess Princeton Yeah, I guess we play Princeton How do you think rivalry are We don't consider Princeton our rival You have no other option No, no, not really

We're just focused on Princeton I would say the New York Giants Baseball or football There are a true rival We're a one and O this week We're looking to get the one and O next year Just check it in Like for the season

It must have been amazing like the sheep tug and the wolf meeting in the meadow and clocking in I'm right Sam Warren and Ralph what are we doing playing a football game scored like I don't know safeties are worth nine points

100s worth one we're gonna score about six points and like five people will die during this seven hour game and then we'll hop on a train like 10 minutes through New Jersey coaching hot seat was real easy though who lost all right

turn up the heat it finished last in the country get your ass out of here that you're either Bama or you're Kansas there's no in between yeah listen man if Nick Saban been in charge of Rutgers

there wouldn't be football that people would have been like I'm not going to watch this fuck this the good news if you're Princeton if you're the O and one team you'd be like hey we're bowl old who are they going to tell that's true That's true. Rutgers, Princeton, but Cardi Bowl.

I'm really glad that they didn't have spread, tempo, hurry-up offenses then, because if there had been a Cliff Kingsbury offense, and that'd been the first thing that they had seen, 19th century people wouldn't have trusted it. They would go, this is too vigorous. This will kill men. Have you seen all the roused-bouting and hurly-burly this creates? It would be much safer for 30 people to headbutt each other for three hours.

This is a decent. Why can't you emulate the safety practices of something like 50-round bare-knuckle boxing? I was reading in 1880, it was legal to punch. Do you know how many times it was legal to punch per play? How many times? Three. You got three punches per play. And not punch like offensive line term, like, you know, put the big paws into your chest.

Punch right in the fucking face three times. I mean, they did that to describe. encourage the hurry up offense be like hey let's all let's let that play clock just take 40 plays a game that sounds good man no need to get up into the 70s the face it hurts plays didn't end when your knee was down the play ended when um you you you somebody put you in the walls of jericho and you tapped out like the play literally ended when you quit by god he's in an ankle hook um that that's good I like that they thought between the third and the fourth punch civilization ended. When anyone tells you, by the way, that manners like matter.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that was a reform to dial it down to three punches per play. That was a, that was, okay, listen, we're all civilized here. We're all, we're all gaining a lot of male vigor from this sport. But, you know, with the Nambi-Pambi liberals coming in and trying to take, trying to put skirts on all the football players, we're only going to punch each other three times in the face per play. I would like to see this rule instituted now because the backlash would not be, oh my God, we're letting players punch each other. That's fucking nuts. It would be everybody being like, fucking ref said it was, that was two punches in a slap.

How's it going to miss that fucking shit? Oh, my God. They, they're biased against us. What? You can't kick now? This is this soul system's broken. Or you have one year of punching and then take it away and, oh, they're taking it. making all the spirit out of the game.

It's just not there, put a skirt on and it's not in the sport anymore. I can't remember exactly what year it is, but it is maybe my favorite year in the history of college football. There was a year where you could, I believe, and this is, by the way, in Dave Rebson's book, if you are a fan of Dave Rebson of the Big Ten Network, he wrote a very interesting book about the history of football. And in it, there's one year where early on, you know, Walter Camp and company are tinkering around with all the rules. and there was a rule regarding punts and where you could punt and yet if you punted and I think if there went so many yards or you managed to recover it right it was a live ball and you could just keep it and what would happen is Yale went on this spree of just punting and recovering every single

time so that all of their games were scoreless they just created a complete slate of zero zero games it's it's just like samuel becket football it's basketball before the shot clock exactly the great part about this is walter camp was like the it was kind of yales barry alvarez but he was also in charge of the entire sport like it's like if mark emert was the first like still like basically in charge at lSU or something like this and like yeah well we decided that all the rules are like lSU gets a point for uh punts, so quarterback sacks

quarterback sacks a ladder a point now. Go tigers. Passing is illegal. LSU. All right. This question comes from Trey King

at N.A.K. Did you see the new Kentucky Tax Slayer Bowl rings? How much will those be worth one day? Have either of you seen these? Oh.

Do either of you remember the result of the Tax Slayer Bowl? I remember Paul Johnson cussing at Mark Stoops at midfield and then winning Yes Yeah Kentucky lost that game 3318 I'm going to send you both right now The link to the a.l.com story about

The rings that Kentucky had made to commemorate This glorious nearly double up loss So Okay well there Oh, they say Governor's Cup on them. Those are, we beat Louisville rings. They, they commemorate that as well. I don't see Music City or Tax Slayer Bowl participant on here.

No, no. That's just implied, right? I think if we go to Ringport. No, no, no. Look at the, see, look at the, are you looking at the tweet from Kentucky football? Ryan, I have old eyes. You see the tweet, and it says on the left hand, you're right, has Governor's Cup. because it also has

SEZ East because yes, that is... Oh my God, let me tell you let me tell you what's on the other side of the ring. Let me describe this for the listener who has not seen this because I am going to say it with such joy in my voice. On the other side,

the middle ring, the sort of hemispheric ring up top, it says go big blue. But on the big panel on the side, right, the sort of triangular curvilinear shape it says

tax slayer bowl that's the logo in the middle but in huge swooping letters across the top it says stoops now we don't know for sure at the bottom it says coach

it's possible that all the players got these personalized I prefer to think that they all have one that says stoops on it I mean it seems a little tricky because I'm pretty sure there's some long names on that team. So it seems like there's... But you know what? You know what? You know if it's great?

Stoops! Yeah. I'm going to give this ring a five out of ten on the bullshit scale, just because they did beat Louisville, and that was pretty hilarious. Yeah, sure. But I... I just appreciate that they're like, well, we should acknowledge that... I assume this is some sort of, like, NCAA loophole,

where they are like, we can give our... players rings but they have to be related to the bowl game and they're like oh we really would rather not is if we put the logo is that enough if we make no reference to who we played or what the score was is that sufficient yes the tax layer bowl it's there don't ask questions what are you a cop i'm pretty sure that is how it works because i remember the the greatest of these rings was old miss handed out one for getting its ass tore off by tc u and the sugar ball and unc did one for I think, what was it like, or tying. No, it might have been Georgia Tech the year they like tied for fourth place in the division

and got to go to the conference title game because everyone else was banned. I'm good. If one of these pops up on eBay for less than $100, I will buy it. Stoops! I'm checking now, it's a little early. Yeah, so far, not there. You see it in the account as like Stoops, bro, too. But you can, for what it's worth, you can buy, um, oh my God.

All right, well, this is, this is from Vietnam, so it's fake, but I appreciate that. For $14, you can own a Tennessee Volunteers, 2008 Outback Bowl, and 2015 Tax Layer Bowl championship ring. You can own both of those. I might. We should buy these, right? yeah hop on it they're two they're two available so we have to decide how we're going to split them i just i'm going to you guys take a look well i think since you discovered them you get one and spencer and i will share custody of the other that's good i would um i would also by the way like i'm i'm all

in favor of letting this happen because i really believe that kentucky should celebrate everything I do, man. This isn't eat every sandwich moment. People will be like, oh, well, Kentucky got some rings made from losing a bowl game and beating Louisville. Hell yeah, they did. Have you seen Kentucky football? Throw a party. Do it.

You want to know, like, Kentucky is the relative that has a $3,000 paycheck coming in off a job after three years of unemployment, and they go out and they buy what? Dodge Charger. I bought a pop a shop machine for the backyard. They've got four doors, so it's a family car. I love, you know, UK basketball. I'm training them young. If Kentucky was really about it, they would have put a Heisman on there. Yeah, that's right.

They would have done that. And you know what? They let them do that, right? Because Kentucky, it's like, you know what? What's money? I'm going to be dead. You know, I'm going to be dead someday anyway. Yeah, diamonds are,

Diamonds are artificially expensive, so put a lot of them shits on there. Hey, no pressure, no diamonds, and, you know, Mark Stubb's face a fair amount of pressure. Exactly. I'm going to jump ahead to this question from Vinny Bartels at Scrum have Vinny. I'm going to slightly tweak his question. His question, which coach would you hate to face in an American Gladiator's competition? The answer is many coaches are stronger and faster than I am, and I don't need to acknowledge. It's that. But I do think we should talk about the fact that American Gladiators events seem like they have, some of them at least, seem like they have perfect applicability to football and should be part of either a spring game or spring practice or something. And I want to talk about these event by event. We can go in any order you want. But I just want to, I just want to see the world where we can sort of say like, yeah, man, you know, you know how we

decided who the starting quarterback's going to be this year hang tough just just whoever could swing himself from ring to ring because that's pocket presence that's what it takes you got a man hanging on you that's like being in the pocket you got a defensive tackle hanging on you you got to keep swinging keep going that's how we decide the starter there's the one where they shoot each other yes uh that's assault um that's the you got you got the coach you got the coach with the tennis ball can shooting at you while you have inferior weapons against him. I think that one's more of a metaphor for the financial imbalance of student athletes and coaches.

That's a pocket presence drill. Sure. Like you got to deliver the ball war being shot. If, trust me, if Georgia Bofield could get away with it, he'd absolutely claim that he invented that. You'd do it, yeah. There was also the scaffold match thing where, like, they hit each other with sticks while they're up high on the thing.

Yeah, joust, I think that one is. Jowls, yeah, that's jails. Yeah, that's jails. With the giant Q-tip. Here's the one that seems like it should be promising, but actually isn't. Breakthrough and Conquer. That's the one where you had to run through a... Is that the one where you had to sort of take the ball and get past, basically break, tackle, and then dump it in, like, what, a bucket or something?

Or maybe that was powerball. I don't know. They're all... They all have nonsense names that all also sound like, for... football motivational hashtags. And the problem with that one is that, while it does teach you good tackle breaking, terrible ball control, because you just drop it. You don't want that.

There's no buckets in football, man. You can't teach that muscle memory. That's bad. I really would love if we decided more position battles by taking challenges at the local trampoline park. Right? If you've been to the local trampoline park, it is a definite. kid thing now, where

you take a warehouse, you pay like the bare minimum of liability payments and you set up a huge sea of trampolines for people to leap back and forth. And the really bad ones, and I say bad ones, probably actually meaning good, are the

ones that are very regulated, safe and try to put people in positions where they're not going to really harm themselves. There won't be like, oh, jump off this wall sideways and then bounce the entire length of this warehouse, leap as if one were an enormous bounding pogo stick down. No, the really good ones, again, probably meaning bad, let you do that.

And all I want to do is I want to put, like, offensive alignment on them. It's the first thing I wanted to do. I was like, oh, man, let's try test these. We can do that, right? That or do the Ninja Warrior obstacles in the back? Well, yeah, there's, I mean, the Ninja Warrior obstacles are not going to favor. favor the bigger fellows, nor will the hellaciously inclined treadmill that's

going the wrong way. Or this is going the right way that you have to run against? How long would it take to fish like a 340 pound defensive tackle out of a giant foam pit? That's what I want to watch. He'd just eat the foam. This is easier. Oh man, the fucking foam pit.

Oh, my God. If you put offensive linemen down there, he's just going to be like, all right, how much I owe in rent. I'm just staying. I am done. Man, not the phone pit is a joke.

I live here now. Yeah, you know. This is my yard now. I'm the big dog with a foam pit. Again, lemonade out of limits in three seconds. Limeon to figure that out. That's how the Star Wars garbage monster came to be.

He just got caught down. No. He was an offense to Limeon to fill in the phone pit. Hey, uh, hey, man, I'm from Wingstop. I've got an, order for 78 wings that you

wanted, but this address, you know, you know, it's just, Hey, oh. Hey, which, uh, what's the tension level C? Down here, buddy. Come on. There's like a, there's like a

fucking slide. You just put the wing stop on. And just just slide on down. Um, all right, we're going to end with this one. This is from Jason Ringer. J.J. Winger. How have you all been? man we're still doing this podcast pretty fucking bad

great man she got back from went to Disney World fuck you that was good now you did uh Hollywood Studios what else did you do well we did we did everything oh shit yeah yeah I have to admit I don't think my conditioning was quite up fuck I mean my emotional conditioning I wasn't really it wasn't prepared for it

also we might have over we might have overreached what was the lowest point last day what park is this this would be we did this order and this is your Disney

experience by the way day one we did MGM oh it was a delight it was great we made such a good decision coming here day two magic kingdom oh god this is still pretty good this is great day three seems begin to appear. Cracks in the

foundation. That's when we did Epcot. Epcot loaded first. Here's why. Massive distances between things. Particularly kid-friendly. A lot of rides where you get strapped into carts and are sort of toaded through a really

antiquated understanding of the future. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's, Epcot is the most that's like, this is the worst fallout level. What am I doing here? Yeah. There's a lot of like, oh man, you know what I really want to do? I would to be tooted. I'd like to be toaded in the dark by like hash mannequins.

Hey, you want to sit in a cart and learn about ribosomes? Cool. Yeah, you know, and that's one of the better. Dono DNA. Hey, that's the part people liked about Jurassic Park, right? What if it was just that? Oh, yeah. What if we just did that?

Oh, also there's beer. Don't worry. There's worldly beer. And, you know, they threw that at the end because they had like the carnival of nations or whatever. right and I don't know what do we do to make this kind of sucks y'all like well how can we jazz it up

and finally like Epcot it's so exhausted everyone right because Walt Disney was dead by the time they were actually putting this together and they're like why are we this dead man's weird kind of white supremacist wet dream about the Ohio of the future

that's what Epcot is by the way it's just like what if you asked a dude from Ohio in 1950 what he thought the future would look like Well, I mean, you know what Epcot stands for, right? Experimental prototype community of tomorrow. Right. So somebody said, yes, this is how people should live.

Yeah. And that means it's some extremely brilliant and practical person in the Disney hierarchy. We're like, ah, fuck it. Put booze in it. That's it. Put booze in it. Let them drink. This thing sucks.

So I don't blame Animal Kingdom on Friday for breaking my family. and for being the point where everybody just kind of tapped out, decided to have their emotional meltdowns. Nope. Nope, I blame Epcot. Epcot, or Epcot, the 16 power runs that set up the play action

on the 17th, right? Like, they softened us up, and they beat us up. And then Animal Kingdom just got to go over the top for six on Friday. So I'd keep it to three days, not four. So it must be you having twice as many kids as I do, because for me, was like the oasis like I mean I have a girl you have a girl they're good and decent

children well yeah and she could just be fascinated like watching the fireworks well well daddy goes back to France for another like jug of champagne but yeah Epcot was the high point and I liked Hollywood Studios a lot for me Magic Kingdom was just like soul-breaking like I feel like I'm I feel like I'm looking at Facebook on Christmas Eve and Everyone is pretending with all their fucking might to be as happy as possible. And it just exposes more and more, like, how, I feel. And it's just like, I don't belong here.

I got to go. I feel like I'm the fucking, like, virus in this place that doesn't belong here at all. Jaden and Brian got to meet Princess Jasmine. So cute. If you do the Princess Breakfast, though. because I did like the half princess breakfast which is like the beauty and beast brunch I thought it was just going to be like

Fergie comes over is like hello hello hello love Like Fergie of the black eyed peas though That's the twist Oh god even worse That's what I thought actually Because I thought well that'd be pretty cool

Like Fergie seems like really relaxed and chill Right And like she you know like Was like married to Josh Dume for a long time so that means that she's like husbands they don't need brains I respect women like that right

no we went there for the brunch the bacon's really good I will say that I'm not like a super bacon on everything guy no bacon was really good it was solid man like Disney's food again kind of modeled after what a guy in 1950 in Ohio would be like make it all

like this it's a little it's a little bland yeah and it's all super expensive that was the other thing like just feeling so fucking trapped where it's like i'm my only option if i want to eat today is to spend 17 dollars on on basically fucking del taco in the magic kingdom there's like this like it's one of the highest rated restaurants in the whole place is this like uh texmex place and it's fucking terrible but it's it's thirty eight dollars for a taco you just look at that and you just get so sad i spent thousands of dollars to get here

and here I am eating baseball park nachos for $52. The future. Future. Then I went to Vegas the next week to do some work. Because that's what you have to do, by the way, if you spend a week on vacation with your family, you have to go to an entirely different city to get work done. And I went to Las Vegas, and I will tell you the greatest thing that I learned while I was in Los Vegas was reading an article about. how Mark Davis of the Raiders managed to

completely like hustle Sheldon Adelson who if you don't know it's like I don't know 14th richest man in the nation rules Vegas bought a newspaper so it could make him just like say whatever he wants such as you do when you have that much money you're like get a newspaper

just talk about how great I am anyway I was reading about that Jerry Jones Jerry Jones got the idea for the giant board in the Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas, by watching Celine Dion on the big screen at Caesars. And that is my favorite visual

because it means that you could talk extensively to Jerry Jones, not only about Vegas shows, but about Cirque to Soul Life. He would have definite opinions. Can I... I made a mistake. I went to Mark Davis's Wikipedia. page. Ooh.

He has a very, like, the section of his Wikipedia page that is prior to team ownership, he didn't get the team until 2011, and he was born in 1950, well, it says 1954 or 1955, which is fun.

Okay. The only other person I've seen with that confusion is Mariah Carey, for what it's worth. Here's what Mark Davis did prior to owning the Oakland Raiders, soon to be Las Vegas Raiders. He was involved in the retail part of the business and the equipment department, and he helped develop the muff style hand warmer for football.

So that's good. And then in 1980... Wait, wait, wait, when would he have done that? He would have done this, I guess, in the late 70s. Oh, okay. So, wow, as a teenager. As, yeah, as like a young man in his early 20s, mid-20s. Because at age 25, in 1980, Mark Davis represented a Raiders player by the name of Cliff Branch in contract negotiations with the team and resulted in a deal that included an annuity that still pays Branch to this day and got Mark kicked out of his father's house for being too close.

to the players. So when the team moved to L.A., Mark Davis stayed with his buddy Cliff Branch because his father wouldn't have him anymore. I know he owns an NFL team. Do you know what kind of car Mark Davis drives, by the way? It's a van, and it's not a nice van.

It's the car that looks like his haircut. Yeah. I think I think it's a Dodge. It's a Dodge minivan. If I'm not mistake, it's a Dodge. It's a 1997 Dodge Caravan, S-E. S-E.

Don't forget the S-E. It has a V-H-S player mounted in the ceiling of the roof. Yep, and it has a license plate that is R-8-H-E-R-S. Davis says he is a food connoisseur and that his favorite restaurants include, I'm skipping to the end. P.F. Chang's. Yeah, and travels 400 miles to get that haircut. Yuck.

It's amazing. And all of that, by the way, all of that, and being my favorite sentence, the NFL's poorest owner, and he took Sheldon Adelson, took him to Sheldon Adelson, who started a casino in China that increased his wealth 14 times over it made his 270 million dollar investment back in a year

so a dude who does not lose money wait wait wait wait wait Sheldon Adelson pulled out of that deal though Sheldon Adelson is not is not the reason why the Raiders are moving to Las Vegas because he decided I think, yeah, he dropped out. Golden Sacks dropped out, and then Bank of America stepped in.

Too big to fail. It finally paid off. Thank God America. Ben Gow would bail out the banks. But they used Sheldon Adelson to the point where they needed him, and then the NFL was worried about whether they could control him, and then they cut him out of the deal. Because Adelson was only in it, by the way.

And again, this is a college football. ball podcast. Hi. Adelson was only in the deal because he wanted to screw over Las Vegas because they were going to build the Las Vegas Convention Center and he was worried about losing business for his private convention centers. That's the only

reason he was in on the deal to begin with. And then got cut out of the deal. And you know who the big orchestrator behind that was? I'm coming full circle here. Woo pig suey. Jerry. Gerald Jones.

the guy who helped orchestrate that and he can tell you all kinds of things about his favorite shows that reba that reba's day it's amazing it's just just an amazing show you need to go see it but remember the problem with football is the black people thanks richard spencer