Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 7.02 - Rowdy Boys and the NFL Draft

Episode Date: April 26, 2017

It's NFL Draft week, so we asked for your uninformed and inflammatory opinions about the World's Most Televised Job Fair that we might agree with them, or disagree, or just talk about something else altogether. Such takes include! - The Kansas City Chiefs should never draft a quarterback in the first round - Vandy's Zach Cunningham will be the player college fans correctly think fell way too far - The Draft is bad and so is league parity - The Browns should trade the first pick for Bill Belichick - Draft order should be determined by each team sending a player to the Combine to compete - Spencer definitely knows what he's doing as a dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. Oh man, I haven't put up an episode in like three weeks. We had one last week. But we decided it was super important, even though, hey, where will we be tomorrow? We'll all be in the same room in New York City, but we decided it was absolutely essential to record over busted ass non-premium Skype the night before instead. We've established that recording this podcast in person is odd. uncomfortable because we can see each other so we don't talk over each other and that's not true to this podcast yeah and we also probably you know wear clothes which I'm pretty confident most

of us don't record this podcast in a state of dress that we could just go to the grocery store or something and another problem is how we always when we're in person we're recording this we always come to these like really authentic emotional moments you know and we're all like on the verge of tears and expressing feelings of deep we got we got we got to get it out you know we don't really see each other all the same room all the time so you get you get to feel that live that's really uncomfortable though yeah so so this way this way we can keep it emotionally safe and yeah oh this format allows us to embrace the emotional distance that almost all male friendships are I love that embrace emotional distance nothing has ever defined my whole world view more

you should you should cry over there just put that on my tombstone you should cry over there it sounds it sounds like you're actually getting in touch with something it's okay to cry just not around me that's a bit also on the other side of the tombstone that's a bit much that's enough now

that's enough yet that's a great that's a great tombstone that'll do it that is that's an awesome epitaph we are we are going to talk about the NFL draft tonight only in the context of your statements yes readers whereas other shows come up with original content that they attempt to put out and have you review or say as good we thought we would reverse the process and just let you tell us things and we'll tell you whether they're crap or not some of them are good because what what was asked on the shutdown full cast Twitter account and on Ryan's send us more bold draft takes all caps for this week's shutdown full cast

or we've established that people are much better at asking or like delivering bold takes than they are at asking questions our audience at least which is true because we only ask for these on Twitter and Twitter shit at asking genuine questions

bold bold statements Twitter's good for it man if you listen to this go on Twitter if we don't really have a name for our listenership community probably because like shame prevents people from identifying themselves yeah you don't want labels but if we if we did have a name for those people um they are definitely prone to just flagrant conjecture confidently letting the shit fly as you know as opposed to like asking for the wisdom of someone else i call them i call them the shutdown outcasts so no you could you could call them that and that would be attaching them to us. I'm just going to call them our Mahomes, our Mahomes, because like Pat Mahomes,

they just let it fly. That's it. We're not using that name. But it is NFL draft relevant, because damn it, we're going to talk about Pat Mahomes, about why your team, he should be drafted twice. That's how much I love Pat Mahomes. Air Aid quarterback, don't care. Maybe undersized, irrelevant. Does he throw the ball 70 times a game

every single week in college and demonstrate an ability? to single-handedly keep his hapless, defenseless team somehow close to maybe sort of being in games? Absolutely. See, you're being a little exaggerated here, and only a little. But this is the exact same logic. Some GM is going to use, be like,

fucking, man, take that kid at seven. Trade up. Let's go give him. You didn't really grade out that well. You know what? It's not about grades. It's about guts. You could take Mitch Trubisky.

Now, I'd like you to revisit that statement that you just made and consider... I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with this player. He's going by Mitchell. I'm sorry, Mitchell Trubesky. We'll discuss all of this in a moment. I do want to bring up, though. We had a pre-show discussion about dad rankings and not necessarily who the best or worst dads were, but whether Jason outranked me on dadness.

Because technically, Jason, this is now a three-dad podcast, Ryan being the junior member of the dad crew, I being chronologically the middle member, and Jason being the senior member of the dad squad. However, I do have two. So in terms of total years, dadded, I have now surpassed you. Yeah.

In cumulative man hours, you are the ranking dad on this vessel. Before you had children, what did you think the ideal spacing between children would be by years? In other words, I have one, and then if we need to have another, we just have them X number of years later.

Before children, what did you think that ideal spacing was? If you were like, two years is good, No, see, I have two siblings and we're each two years apart, so I'm going to definitely say three to four years. Two is too close. What would you have thought, Jason? Yeah, that sounds about right. My sister and I are a bit too far apart.

So, yeah, and also when I say that my daughter is well past that age, which means I'm saying, oh, too late, guess we're just for just having the one. And that is also fine, too. I would have said the same. I would have said, around two or three years, that's fine. And I will tell you, after having kids, the ideal amount of time to wait before having another one is about 25 years. Yeah. If you could wait 25 years on a 200-year lifespan,

that would be ideal for having children. I think it's 25 years on a life that will end in 24 years. right that would be perfect like darn almost made it total net worth at death zero total children had two

expenditures complete that's how you want to do it I say this because Ryan you mentioned that yeah my youngest woke me up at 2.30 a.m. on a weekend of solo dadding while the lady was on a trip out of town

I you don't want to say solo daddy it's just a well it's a week of dadding right a week of dadding right a weekend of dadding you don't want to be the guys you don't ever solo dadding makes it sound like you're in the shittiest band in the world oh he's good solo dad that makes it sound like you usually have a group of like four other dads but i want to right i want to find some way of saying that i had the kids by myself but that's not exceptional because i can do that you don't want to be like

oh i got the kids this weekend got a babysit the kid that's your dad you should be able to handle that you know i do think i do think the next season of planet earth should just be about human dads this dad this dad has wandered away from the pack this dad this dad is at the casino though though he thinks though he thinks he may live to see the morning he is wrong this father fresh from an indian casino yeah that um at 2 30 i was awakened by my youngest, who had many questions about pirates, like a lot of questions, like more questions than I thought you could have about pirates at any hour of the day, much less at 2.30 in the morning from a four-year-old. He's quite curious about him. And I mentioned this on Twitter,

and the responses were, well, what were they? They weren't, what were they, Ryan? Stephen Godfrey is the one I remember best. He said that his son was, eating pancakes that morning that had sprinkles on them, and he was screaming at the pancakes and calling them beans, either the pancakes or the sprinkles. And he said this at around 10 in the morning and said this had been going on since six. So that was fun.

And it was just other unruly sons causing their parents' stress and turmoil on what would have been a very nice weekend across most of the United States, I imagine. just a nation of rowdy, rowdy boys Routy, ungovernable boys Tiny adult sons in every direction Every daughter sleeping soundly And awaking at a reasonable hour Reading quietly

Thinking about their futures With their little hands curled up Like a sleeping princess That's what I figured people say well you know like you know you get all that all back when they're teenagers i don't know if that's true i just think at that point we funneled boys into one or another of several channels to expend homicide energy right like the urge to brawl fight uh kill otherwise be distracted disorderly and disobedient right like that's like well you know he's he's playing football isn't he yeah it's great we put him in pads and he just gets pummeled and runs for two hours he gets tired he gets tired and then he eats a whole cheese pizza He eats a whole cheese pizza, and then he goes to his room, and he goes to sleep. After two noisy hours. Yeah.

After a full day's activities, we put him in pads, or we put him on the soccer field and have him run eight miles in a game. And then after that, he hangs out with his friends. I would love, this is my favorite thing, I would love to put an adult through a team. teenagers like day right one with activities this is why this is why the the original and sequel freaky friday did not involve a dad and teenage son switching bodies because the dad would have just been like what the hell is all this shit i'm so fucking tired i'm so tired and the constant motors are exhausting well i think maybe they would have fallen it the teenage son would be the one who was more affected by things because why does everything

hurt. Why do my joints hurt all the time? Yeah. Hey, you need to go take care of that insurance thing. What's insurance? Boy, I tell you, you got to start stretching and eating better. What are you talking about? I had Taco Bell for breakfast yesterday. I had a cheesecake put between two slices of cheesecake at 5.30 p.m. And I felt fine and I will never die. Yeah. They also, Like, those movies always managed to skip sex, right? Like, they never get to the awkward thing of like, you're going to have to bone your mom. Like, that's... Wow.

You know what? Faceoff went there. Faceoff went there. Oh, yeah. Face Off went all the way there, which is why Face Off is the only movie with integrity in the world. The only honest film. Exactly. Because you're like, they're not going to go there. Oh, they're doing it.

Oh, they did. Trouble to, you dirty dog. yeah so with that and the discussion of rowdy rowdy young sons watch the segue watch you're going to sprain something watch this watch this watch this no no no y'all hold this beer I'm about to do it with the rowdy young sons of college football making the turn into adulthood oh some of them

some of them are being invited I know I didn't I didn't even tap the traffic cone not not Rubin Foster Too rowdy. Yeah, too. Too rowdy. He is the rowdiest of sons, and he is coming over tonight. The rowdiest son of them all. Actually, what was it?

A little pot, a little weed? I thought, I thought he just, like, got into a screaming match at the Combine. Wasn't that it? Like, it wasn't even, it wasn't even. That was what I remember, that he got into it with an employee, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was, he was a little rowdy at the Combine. Combine, but like the drug thing, it was probably just weed.

Well, according to, I guess our sister site in a way, pro football talk, yeah, he got in a, he gotten an altercation with a hospital worker. And, yeah, yeah, he did also provide a diluted sample at the scouting combine. um but yeah that was that was that was gibbill gibral peppers right who over hydrated both was it both of them were this thing but this is a very prepared podcast yeah we we're as you can tell all things draft we're ready mock draft number one the browns have that pick i know that number two it's not the browns it's some other team number four is the jaggs i know that because i follow a lot of jacksonville fans on twitter and they hate every conceivable pick it's wonderful yeah you can make no good picks for the jacksonville

jaguars and frankly based on the history of the franchise this is a very very logical stance so bravo to you jacksonville jaguars fans for one maintaining a real love for a team that deserves no love and has given you nothing over the years and two for i don't know just go back to one it's an amazing thing that you even still care it's a remake of that brian mcnight song but it's very short Very, very short. One, your team of shit forever. Two, circle back to one. Listen, listen.

And then you pick back at one. That's right. That's right. Except they never do. The Jags are, I can't remember the last time the Jags were bad enough to get the number one pick. They always are like, oh, number three. They actually haven't. They were even an expansion team and they still haven't.

They are the New York Knicks of the NFL. at this point. And I'm sorry, I feel bad saying. Oh, God. Jags tape. Okay. So, we should begin reviewing some of these hot tapes. Yes, let's.

Because we have a lot of them. And frankly, the, uh, the, the commentary it came through and they came through hard. Can I start with one? Yes, please. I would love it from, uh, well, this is kind of our, um, this is an annual topic. And it's, it's a good transition for this allegedly college football program, uh, from Avian Dentures on Twitter. Zach Cunningham is this year's iteration of awesome college player who falls too far in the draft.

He cites previous examples, Tyler Lockett, Barrett Jones, Russell Wilson. Every year we look for this player who, you know, we have no idea why the NFL doesn't like this guy. Teddy Bridgewater would be another. Zach Cunningham, the Vanderbilt linebacker who made a ton of big plays and a ton of mundane plays and is just good at sports isn't really thought of as being one of the very top linebackers. And we did a post a week or two ago where we all ranked our top five draft crushes. And Bill C had Zach Cunningham, number one, and Bill C is smarter than I am. So that's probably the right answer.

Yeah, also, I just think this, the rule of the draft for me is if you have a player, like the very simple rule of the draft is if you have a player from a team like Banderbilt and college get people all know the name and go oh that dude at least put him on the board I'm not saying put him at the top but you got to think about that we'll call this the Tyler Lockett rule okay because if you'll remember Tyler Lockett successful wide receiver with the Seattle Seahawks now he was at Kansas State and when it came out Tyler Lockett people were like oh, man, you know, people should really, like, consider drafting him.

And who does this all the time? And who got him? Pete Carroll. Because Pete Carroll is so good at drafting that dude. You go, oh, they got that dude? Oh, man. He's going to be great. So, is that Cunningham?

Superb one-on-one tackler, part of that defense. And you know his name even though he played at Fandy. Scoutings easy. Take it. Yeah. Name another Vanderbilt player besides Aaron Rogers' brother. You can't. They never happened.

You don't know any. Zach Stacey, right? Did I do it? You can't even name Aaron Rogers' brother. You have to call him Aaron Rogers' brother. Aaron Rogers' brother. He took a picture without his shirt on. My choice was Deshawn Watson, who is somehow not the number one quarterback.

Because, oh, I don't know. He tore up Nick Saban twice, along with a bunch of other stuff. And I think I had Dalvin Cook number two. But Zach Cunningham, sure. I kind of like, there are like a couple of Auburn defensive linemen, I feel I could go here, just because, you know, when we paid it, whether it's Montravius Adams or Carl Lawson, I feel like when we paid attention to Auburn this season, that was not the side of the ball. It got a lot of attention, but that defense was good, and it was largely because of those guys. I don't know. I think they could be overlooked a bit. I don't know if it's going to be catastrophically. So I also think, um, I don't know if Desmond King should get penalized or not for coming back to Iowa for another year when he did. But he's alive. He survived it.

That has to count for something. That's true. And, you know, the other thing, too, is that, you know, you count as like three draft picks for Iowa. Because if you get drafted out of Iowa, Iowa, it's basically like three draft picks because, you know, they'll be like, man, Kirk Ferrence just continues to, like, pump out NFL talent. It's entirely possible that Desmond King has fallen in draft rankings because people see Iowa and they assume offensive line and then they look at him and he's, well, he's way too small. I mean, come on. Are you kidding me here? He says it's actually not his position.

Shut up, shut up. He can't even play guard. This is just ridiculous. Third round at best. I mean, there's things that, you know, like initially the reaction from a college fan looking at how they create things in the draft, you kind of evaluate things. Oh, well, that's very stupid, and that's very silly. Over the years, you might become a little kinder. A little, a little, not a lot, okay?

But you definitely understand some things, right? For instance, I really do get when they like the way they draft quarterbacks now because no one can draft a quarterback. No one, it's complete luck. Like, I don't know. The guy who's one of more Super Bowls than anyone, like in recent history, at quarterback is uh what have we reduced him to like 28th rounder in the tom brady mythology he's yeah he was uh he's technically a sixth rounder but um taken right 20 a few picks after

spurgon win yeah so that's spur spurgean like sturgeon you know what he doesn't deserve an right name no i think his name is spur gone now that's pretty good spur gone Orlocks fur gone. Yeah. It's mostly good to look at drafts, though, because, you know, the thing that I think, both NFL and college media cannot say during a draft, you can say it's bad for any one position. You can say it's not a great wide receiver class. It's not a great linebacker class. There's something that just stops us from saying this is a bad quarterback class.

but in 2013, I'm going to read you every quarterback that was taken in the draft that year. Are you ready? Mm-hmm. E.J. Manuel, Gino Smith, Mike Lennon, Matt Barclay, Ryan Nassib, Tyler Wilson, Landry Jones, Brad Sorenson out of Southern Utah, Zach Dysert, B.J. Daniels, Sean Renfrey. That's every quarterback that got taken the entire, that entire team. draft four years not even that long ago so like you can look at we listen god knows we've made so much fun of the bills for taking e j manual with a first round pick when he j manual's college coach

was telling them that was a bad idea but look at the rest listen to the rest of that list there is nobody else that if they said we want to go quarterback there were there were no better options there was nothing that was going to be like oh well you missed on this guy they were all shit they were all bad The best guy on this list is probably Mike Glennon, a guy who barely played with Tampa, and now the Chicago Bears fans have to be excited about him. Yeah, there are bad years for quarterbacks, and this, I mean, this isn't a great one. I think the last year that we would call a really good year for quarterbacks was like Marrivedo Jamis. Yeah, but even though it's a prime, I mean, Trevor Simeon, I guess, has panned out pretty well as far as seventh round picks go. but yeah there are a lot of years it just there's nothing it's a it's a it the well is very very shallow

yeah i think i think this year it's short on it's short on first round quarterbacks but i think we have a lot of third round quarterbacks like in my opinion de sean watson that's a first rounder but you know if if you think it's more of a second okay fine um everyone seems to just agree trubisky is a first rounder i don't know why i don't i don't i don't i don't hate the idea as much as i thought i would after you know looking at the numbers a bit more like him in the first okay yeah sure if you want but like in the second and third rounds i see a lot of decent quarterback so i just wouldn't put in the first i don't think anyone gets to take credit for like raising quarterbacks ever again i just don't like that's that's the end result of all this for me

when somebody says yeah i mean that guy really that guy really knows how to pick quarterbacks at the NFL level. Like, yeah, that's cool. You know, I won five out of six hands of roulette the last time I was in Vegas. You know what I did after that? I walked away. Like, that's what you do. Like, if you manage to pick like two or three successful quarterbacks as a GM, retire. Like, Scott McLuhan, retire, bitch. John Elway, retire, bitch. John Elway, retire, bitch. You need to walk out. Because guess what? You got lucky. You got really, really, really lucky because, again, again, Again, it's basically a craft shoot, and no one wants to admit that, which is why I'm going to make so much fun of Mitchell Trubisky tonight, but after he wins three Super Bowls, now that I've done that, I'll admit, yeah, why not? Sure.

He could be just as successful as anybody else, because it's a matter of luck and landing in the right situation. Do you have a take, Ryan? This one comes from Dan at Jacket Dan on Twitter. draft order should be determined by each team sending one active player to the combine and scoring it like a decathlon I love this idea because it gives the combine meaningful stakes because as of now yeah the combine has some stakes but everybody knows a you know players can opt in and out of whatever drills they want to and b they're probably going to do either some of those drills or the drills that they don't do at their team's pro day, at their college teams pro day.

Here's the one tweak I would make to this. I do think we should keep some sense of the worst teams have a better chance involved here. And so I think if you finish with the worst record in the league, you get to send 32 guys to the combine, this combine decathlon competition. If you finish, if you win the Super Bowl, you only get to send one guy. But technically, you still have a chance if you are the Patriots this year, I don't know if anybody, you know, don't, not, who was to say?

Who won that Super Bowl? No one remembers. Yeah, no. That's irrelevant. The what? Don't worry about it. That's the way that I think draft order should be determined. Just because it can still, it's sort of a mixture of the NBA's lottery system, which is great,

because sometimes you get teams that super tank, and it doesn't pay off for them. And also, man, it's going to be really. really bad when you realize that the bad teams also have guys who can't win this decathlon because they are on bad teams and therefore talent poor. Well, I think the beauty of this idea is it opens up a roster spot for just an athlete who maybe he's good at football, maybe he's not. And, you know, you can have just your designated combine ringer. Like a guy like Jerich McKinnon, who I think is of the Vikings now, he's a good football player.

You know, he's, he's gotten some carries in the league and all that. He's got a role. But imagine how valuable this dude would be if he could, you know, move you, guarantee you a top 10 pick every year. Like, this was the running back who not only is he fast and all that, he also benched more than a bunch of linemen. And, you know, I think he's top 20 and basically everything, every running back drill ever. Or you get like a Dantari Poe, who is 346 pounds and also was able to crack. uh the fours and the these dudes would see their value go up you know if they're good at football great if

not it's just your that's you know you just when you see that signing oh shit that's the combine guy i would like to piggyback off this to a question from or a statement from our colleague john boys if that's okay i know i'm being selfish yeah yeah go ahead john had this one ready to go like we put we put this question this call for hot takes up and John was on it. Quote, John, there shouldn't be a draft. League-wide parody is for losers. I agree with the second part of his statement that league-wide parody is for losers.

But I disagree with the premise that the draft somehow eliminates or creates that parody. And here's why. If you really wanted the draft to create a, to sort of equalize things out, this is what you would say. You would say, okay, Cleveland, you're the worst team this year. You get 10 draft picks. You know, Green Bay, you were pretty good this year, so you only get four draft picks. You wouldn't give everybody the same number of draft picks because even though you're giving people sort of like an advantage by giving them an earlier position, you're still saying, okay, well, this assumes that all of you are equally good at identifying talented players. players who can fit in to your team.

The ones who are on the bottom have already proven that they can't do that. So this is sort of like if you were playing chess against a grandmaster, and he said, here, you know what we'll do for parity? You can go first. Nope. Just a different way for you to fuck yourself over. That's all it is. The draft doesn't create parity.

It exposes the lack thereof because we get to see the bad teams be bad right out the gate, while the good teams, the Seattle's, And the New England's and the Atlanta's of the world are all like, no, we're going to make good choice. I'm trying to be nice here. I'm really trying. I appreciate that, Ryan. Thank you. They can say, no, I'm going to trade down or out of the first round altogether or just make good choices.

Yeah, Buffalo. What do you want to do, Sammy Watkins? Yep, go nuts. Yeah, that's probably what you needed. And also, whenever the Browns fuck up, it costs a lot more money because, hey, you picked in the top five. and the Packers or whatever, they pick 30th. Yep. Yeah, the Browns get to write the biggest, dumbest checks.

I mean, just consistently. Like, not just dumb. We're going to write a big, dumb check. If anything, if anything, having an early draft pick is a potential, like a tax penalty of sorts, where it's like, hey, you fuck this up. It's going to cost you big time. And it used to be so much worse. Like, they've fixed it now, but, man, go look at how much money San Bradford made off that Rams contract.

it is just diabolical die a fucking follicle good job sam bradford who says that oklahoma education don't get your place i uh i would agree we should get rid of the draft we never will it's a it's a huge tv event that makes a lot of money um and it allows the league to uh exact control over the player acquisition process and all that but i mean it would it would be better if there was just free agency right out of the gate like you see you see players who are in the seventh round just openly hoping they don't get picked so they can so they can choose the best spot for themselves i mean recruiting works perfectly in college football every one to create no flaws in that system yes it is just spread that everywhere and it works perfectly because you know it totally respects the control of players to make their own choices as we all know as we all know it's all about self-determination 100% big on athlete agency. Yep.

I have one. It is a math problem, but it's one that we're going to entertain because we're just going to make up the numbers. It's from Jeff Calderwood, who the name he has on Twitter is at Pantryman 32. I don't know why that's funny.

It just is. Man, that's, you know, not all of Batman's villains can be the best or the scariest. Pantry man. You did your best. I'm in here, very familiar with throughout goods.

I'm eating all your wheat fins. Cape Crusader. Can you get me you come in here and fight me. Like a man. Like a pantry man. There are moths in here. Bring cheese from the fridge, please.

There's no way Harry Potter could have slept in here. Pantryman 32, which means that there's 31 other pantry mans, I don't know. More of these volunteers, as in Tennessee, will become pro bowlers than Crimson Tiders, as in switch to bowling, and become technically professional. Well, that... Their odds might be better. That would be a better use of Josh Dobbs' skills in physics, probably, right? Yeah, I mean, he's got a rocket scientist, so he's, you know, science degree, so he's got all those angles line.

up. Yeah, I mean, if you can, if you're smart enough to figure out how to get a rocket to leave the Earth's gravitational pull and return without blowing up, man, you should be able to bowl 300, no problem, right? Oh, listen, he's got that in the bag. Or you could just tell Derek Barnett that the pins were talking shit about his mom. This goes flying down the lane. Derek Barnett's good, y'all. We can talk about him a little more, but he didn't. me is like he's a prime example of dude who was amazing in college who will probably be solid in the NFL for a real long time and who will never at any combine or evaluating process put up numbers that would pop anyone's eyes because I don't know and I can't tell I can tell you straight up I don't know why he's good I don't he was always in the right place

and he always hit hard I never knew how he got there you know like Buda Baker if you watch Buda Baker, Washington Safety, on tape. Oh, my God. Like, he, when I saw him at the, at the semi-final, right, for the college football playoff,

he's just startling. He's startling coming up. Like, he would come downhill and you'd go, somebody's just, either him, someone, stranger, random person in the crowd, someone's getting hurt. He just came downhill with such violence. And Derek Barnett doesn't work like

that. Derek Barnett, you'd go, I don't know, it's just this kind of big tortoise shuffling around and, oh my God, somebody got blown up. Tortoise got somebody again. He just he was always in the right place. He had a great, I guess, what draft Nix would call football IQ.

I'd just say he's real smart. Understood flow, understood assignments. Really good. Physically dominant. Not super flashy. Like the exact opposite of that. I think sometimes that cheats guys on tape. I just wanted to say that about Derek Barnett at the middle of figuring out whether you had a better chance

of being a pro bowler or an NFL player. I'm going to go pro bowler. I think you got a better shot at you in that. Jason, you got one? Yeah, from Sam Donnelly on Twitter. I think this is another, like the decathlon idea. I think we should do this. Every team should be banned from drafting any quarterback

until Colin Kaepernick has a contract. Why would we try? Why are we drafting these new quarterback? so we have a perfectly good one sitting right there that no one has signed. Okay, okay. We've seen him, I mean, we know why. Just whisper among friends. We know the answer he doesn't have an NFL contract.

But let's just expose that by saying, if you want to draft a quarterback, first you have to talk someone else into signing Colin Kaepernate. Here's why I really like this. Jay Cutler's agent today. I think unprompted, because I really don't remember seeing this, like, bubbling around as potential news, came out with a statement, affirming that Jay Cutler is not trying to retire. He just looks tired, y'all. Which, which, like, he's going to accidentally retire. Which is, it's just, it's just the scene, it's just the scene from, um, Monty Python and the whole.

Holy grail. Jay Cutler is not dead yet. He would like you to know that. I'm not owned. I'm not owned. Jay Cutler post pictures of him, butt-ass naked, stand out looking at the beach, and his agent's like, oh, we gotta tell

people. He's serious about football. Oh, he's still in this thing. We got to tell people he gives a fuck. One. Just one that he went to the store and bought, right? Like, what do you Oh, I don't need a fuck. Okay, that'll be this much here.

Go, we'll wrap it a paper bag for you. Hand it to your agent. He'll take a photo of it, tell everybody. Yes, I still care. Why would you believe that? Why would you say still care? Why would you say, you have to say care first. Like this?

Jay Cutler's whole thing was that he had the most, like, brilliant arm in the NFL. And in the SEC, by the way. Like, Jay Cutler made that Vanderbilt team a threat by himself. and never cared. That's your gift. Steer into that. Don't dodge that. That's your thing.

And there are NFL cities where that can work. Absolutely. Like, I think you can be... San Diego would have great. Well, yeah, that doesn't work anymore. But, like, I think you can be the backup for the Titans and not care, right? Sure, sure.

I mean, you could coach the Titans and not care. You could probably start for the Jets and not care. yeah no i mean like Tennessee had one good quarterback that's all they get they got Peyton manning at Tennessee they got Steve McNair the Titans that's it that's all they ever get wow they're done so you can yeah you could be the starter I feel

why would you say that about Marcus Marriota that's so hurtful and like and like a year and a half of Vince Young too god did did you forget that margis margis margis margis margis mariazza plays there Spencer? Did I forget that Billy Bullock played there? I mean, it's okay if you did, because I think the

Titans, no one can ever remember anything about them. They're like, they're like the Oregon State or NC State of the NFL. That's why the movie title is especially cruel. You know, my secret I literally cannot remember the Titans. My secret hope for Marcus Mariotto, who I refuse to believe has to play in Nashville or play for that franchise because he's lovely and he's

He's an amazing college player. Like, really underrated. I know people like, oh, he got a high husband. And oh, he was like amazing. No, go back and look at that season. It's nuts. It's probably the second most prolific, if not first, depending on how you measure it,

prolific statistical season in college football history by a quarterback. Can we swap him and Russell Wilson? Is that mean? That's my. No, you actually read my mind. My hope was that Russell Wilson would suffer some kind of not painful, but, like, I don't know, like, he gets to lose his frank fracture, and he's like, oh, I'd rather just chill for products and be a senator, right? Like, because that's what, that's what Russell Wilson's going to do. He's going to go gain, like, 50 pounds and be, like, a politician or sell things, right?

And that's fine. He can go, he and Sierra can go off and have, like, this magnificent family life and eventually, like, slowly ruin our country by becoming a congressman. That would be awesome. He can go do that, and Marriota just takes over the Seahawks. And then 50 pound plus 50 pound gained U.S. Senator Russell Wilson decides, you know what? I'm going to lace it up for the Titans. Screw it.

Yeah, I'm out of retirement. I'm going to play for the Titans. Then he really gets it. Then he really gets injured. I regret nothing. Nano bubbles. I mean, he's from close to Appalachia. That's fine.

He can come home. Come on. Come on home. I would. I have a question, by the way, that I would like to, a take. Phew, close. At JJ Ringer, Jason Ringer. Be a good name for a website.

It should really start that. JJ? No, Ringer. Oh. I already bought JJ.com. Sorry. Dang it. Am I checking to see what that is?

Yes. And it's Johnson and Johnson. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Well, you own that anyway. Cool. K.C. should never draft a quarterback in the first. round because the quote haven't drafted a qb in first round since todd blackledge unquote will

just get funnier okay i want to talk about kansas city for a minute oh boy um its own little universe as the thorman brothers who work at sb nation and box media are fond of saying it's you know it's about that lazy river lifestyle it's its own little zoobaz wearing barbecue uh inferiority complex having part of the universe and the kansas city chiefs are like this center of the world there, which is the weirdest thing to me because the Kansas City Chiefs have given them exactly nothing in return. What did they get? Like Priest Holmes. You got to watch Priest Holmes like turn and burn for four or five years. And that's it as far as like 20 to 21st century, you know, kicks for the Kansas City Chiefs. Oh, that and that end, you had a

really good kickoff and punt returner. That's about it. And I know all of this because John Boyce has educated me on the misery and mediocrity and meaninglessness of being a Kansas City Chiefs fan. Now, I want to review people that the Kansas City Chiefs have actually taken in the draft at quarterback. I'm warning you. It's a panoply, a plethora, a sporgasbord of... That dude?

Yeah, that dude. It's like they pre-made leftovers, right? Like, are we going to have... Man, are we going to, like, have dinner for draft? Yeah, but it's dinner that I've made to taste like leftovers. New leftovers, they're new to you. But they're not leftovers. Yeah, but they taste like leftovers from the start.

I'm just going to keep going until, like, you know, I'm going to go back until this becomes painful beyond recognition. 2016, in the fifth round, they draft Kevin Hogan out of Stanford. 2015. Nah, just pass on it. In 2014, in the fifth, again, the magical fifth round where all QB greatness lies. They draft Aaron Murray. Aaron Murray, outstanding quarterback at the University of Georgia, not someone that anyone thought would come into the pro game and blow doors.

I don't think he's thrown a pass in the NFL. I'm not 100%. No, no, no. I'm seeing the club trillion on his stateline here. The full club trillion. We got zero, zero. Aaron Murray, if you're still picking off a paycheck, way to go, dude. He was signed with the L.A. Rams on March 23rd of this year.

Way to go, dude. Keep it up. You are playing the ideal NFL career. No contact. No harm, no damage. Then, 2013 and 2012, 700 days and change passed without them drafting a quarterback. Just nah. Nah. And that street could go even longer. In fact, if you continue from the selection of Aaron Murray in 2014, if we go all the way down and skip the year 2011, the Chiefs do not take a quarterback from the year 2006, would they select Brody Croyle out of Alabama? Man, why are you taking a quarterback out of Alabama?

That says something alone, right there. But from 2006, if we take 2011, when they draft Ricky Stansy, and again, the fifth round, do they just hit the fifth round every three years? They're like, I don't know. Go get a white guy. Now, but let's be fair. Let's be fair to the Chiefs. They don't need to draft a quarterback to get one who's successful.

For instance, they have Alex Smith, he's the starter, he's been fine, and on the roster, I believe still, Tyler Bray. Tyler Bray, they do have T. Bray on the roster, who has an amazing arm, y'all, like he really does. Talk about arm talent, boys got arm talent. You want to talk about his other assets? Let's talk about his arm talent. Boy, he's got arm talent. Got so much arm talent. But that's it.

That's it. In the 21st century. The 21st century. This is the last sentence of Tyler Braves Wikipedia page. The last section is professional career. It has his pre-draft measurables. Says that he wasn't drafted. That Chiefs signed him.

2013, he played a little bit in the preseason and made the roster. 2014 injured reserve. This is the last sentence. In January 2015, Bray torn ACL and on September 1st, 2015, the Chiefs put Bray on the non-football injury list. You don't have to do a lot for somebody in the world to say, I will update your Wikipedia page. And in two plus years, Tyler Bray has not done that even little bit.

Just get somebody to say like, yeah, let's put in literally anything about what happened to him in 2016. team. Nope, not necessary. One thing. So I just want to point out in the 21st century, it's not just that the Chiefs haven't drafted a quarterback in the first round. It's just that they, it's not just that they haven't drafted a quarterback in the second round.

It's that in 2006, they're like, all in on Brody Croyle of the third. And after that, no higher than the fifth. Not back-to-back years. Not even every other year. Burned. They're done. The quarterback position, strictly going to Craigslist for it. Let's do this

very bold take from Caleb at Dog from Canton. A team will draft a different player than the one they really wanted just despite someone who leaks their choice early. I am so confident somebody has done this before that some

pissed off GM has been like, oh, fucking Schefter, tipped our pick again. You know what? Go get the guy. definitely didn't want show that motherfucker that he can't mess with me I absolutely believe this is something a rich man has

done cutting off his nose to spite his own face I don't know what player that is I am willing to believe that it may have been Tedgen hmm you're looking pretty suspect there

I don't know if it would be it would be Shepster exactly because they all like they all use him as like their uh he's like the the prison telephone like they all use him as like the tell so-and-so i said whatever but like what about like a lockhand fora or a j glazer something like yeah yeah oh yeah you're right glazer is much better for this that's true and i if if if if there were a college corollary i know nick sabin would do this and he would tell him he's doing you in the press you you you try to spread these rumors about about me i mean about me about drafting Dalvin Cook.

You think you know who our starting quarterback is? Well, guess what? It's the kicker now. He's starting. That's how I run this team. You don't. You're the media. You like to start these rumors that I'm going to draft the player whose name I just

wrote down on the card in front of me. The Coke bottle starts shaking on the podium. And you don't wait. You don't wait for the full story because you don't respect the process. The process doesn't end with writing on the card. It ends with the commissioner reading it. But you don't respect that. You don't respect your mother.

Maybe I'll just pass on my down. pick i'm slapping i'm slapping the you're doing this you're doing this right both of you are doing this really well i have the hands moving slaylin yeah hey remember when the when the viking did that mike the you mean the best moment the best moment in draft history when mead of meatheads mike tice totally passed on his draft pick but here's so so i bring this up because there are people who don't remember this and i think it's important that we remind them that so Spencer how do you remember this happening I want to I want to see I want to test your memory a little bit okay how I remember it happening without looking a single thing up prior to this podcast I remember the clock ticking I remember a routine amount of patter and banter up until the Vikings were about two minutes out from the clock and then there was a heightened nervousness a few inquisitive from Berman

and then you got into that like 32nd range and I believe Mel Kiper at the time was like I don't think they're getting in a draft pick and then they didn't get in a draft pick so there's

it can see even better so this is back I don't I think the what is the draft you get 10 minutes now for your choices at the time at the time you got 15 So they actually had 50% more time to do this. Now, part of why this didn't happen is that they were discussing a trade with the Ravens when their pick elapsed. And what happens when you miss a pick in the NFL draft is that you are then allowed to make it at any ensuing time.

So technically, even though their pick was up, if they, I think, if they had submitted a card before the next team that was up was Jacksonville, If they had submitted a card before Jacksonville had, their pick would have been honored. It just would have been sort of like a first to the podium kind of deal. Jacksonville beat them to that punch. That's the draft pick in 2003, where they picked Byron Lethwitch. Things did not in there because not only did Jacksonville beat them, Carolina got a pick in too. So they didn't have their shit together. Like at some point you just say like, well, fuck it.

got a pick someone anybody they got passed over by two picks and this was with the number seven pick i don't have a draft board in front of me but just i'm just trying to imagine what you would have gotten to trade down two picks in the nfl draft and i'm guessing it probably would have been like what a fourth rounder or something probably more than that i think in the first round yeah you'd get something of decent value but the vikings just let the clock for fuck, it is, it was the best, it's the best moment in draft history. I know, you know, Brady Quinn looking sad at the table, but that was something completely out of his control.

The Vikings watched the clock ticked down and then let two teams go ahead of them. Like, how do you not even have the card ready to go and just say, okay, Baltimore, no trade, which, last, last, last chance, last, last chance, last, last, nope. Oh, shit, Jacksonville's picking. Well, um, shit, uh, somebody check the rulebook. What? Carolina picked? There was, it was beautiful. It was just fucking beautiful.

I think my favorite two things about that are like the next two teams both looking like hungry jackals like, oh shit, we're about to jump up in the order. Here we go. Get ready. Like they got their guy who runs the card to the table. He's in like sprinter stance waiting on the Ravens to officially or the Vikings to officially fuck up. uh-huh um and then the other part is the ravens did this too in a different year and nobody remembers it the ravens missed the pick and we don't remember it like they blamed it on like a trade that didn't you know it was a confusing trade situation or whatever but like john harball

looks like a smart guy mike tice doesn't look like a smart guy therefore we only remember the viking up that's true the baltimore one also happened later in the draft when people weren't paying attention i do want to add one last last bit of color here so In 2003, when Minnesota fucked up picking seventh, it's because Baltimore was considering trading with them, they wanted the Vikings to trade down to number 10. Because Minnesota, rather, fuck this pick up and let two teams pass them. They missed this trade, and they ended up picking at number nine with no compensation whatsoever. Can we rehire Mike Tice just to run something? Where is he?

Let's find out. do either of you have a guess as to where mike tice is yeah oh my let me let me just say all right fine i'll let you both guess we'll go from there well first of all i'm just going to guess that he is still in the league correct yes because no one ever loses their job in the NFL since yes since losing since being dismissed as head coach of the minnesota vikings after the 2005 season he has been employed continuously in some capacity had did he ever have return to his alma mater, Maryland. He did not.

Got to get on that, Terps. Right now, he's the offensive line coach of the Oakland Raiders, which, sure. That's fine. Here's the unfortunate part. I'm going to send you both right now in our Skype chat. I want you to please click on that link and look at the Wikipedia photo for Mike Tice. yeah that's good remember wikipedia you know you got to use those nice you got to use users submitted and or public photos and this is a shot of him and a apparently what seems to be a Atlanta falcons he did coach for the falcons apparently coached our yeah he apparently coached our line in 2014 I have zero recollection he looks he looks like he's smuggling a roast oh wait he was on wasn't he he was on hard knocks wasn't he believe he was yes Jason, you're a Falcons fan.

You didn't know he actually coached for them, right? Completely forgot. And if not for Hard Knocks, I have no memory of it at all. Go Terps. Yeah, I would also point you to this delightful part of Mike Tyson's bio. During Mike's time with Seattle, his teammates referred to his eating style as Mike Tyson's lunchout in a humorous parody of the then popular video game, Mike Tyson's punchout. What I like about that, it's just that he kept getting to the last. course and losing.

I had a big bowl of chili, and I didn't remember to sit my wrap again. You got a hit dessert with it blinks. That's the key. The first one is way too fucking easy, but once you get to the one where it's spinning around in front of you, that's the one that's really hard. Like the last one, eh, it's not all that hard as they make it out to be. You just know the pattern that the pasta is coming to you. Once you know the pattern, you're good.

The one that is really hard is the spinning curry dish. That is the hardest dish on the entire game, and it should be last, not in the middle. Is there one more take that could break this? Oh, oh, shit. Oh, shit. You want takes? You want... Okay, I got one. I got one. From Van Newell on Twitter, Cleveland trades their number one pick for a coach.

That coach is Bill Belichick, who then swindles the Browns by trading himself back to New England. The Browns, of course, did have Bill Belichick and cut him loose and New England took him. That happened in real life. um or the what was it was it it was the jets or something like that right which story you're referring to now when belichick left the browns did he go straight to the pats well he uh i believe the story was he agreed to take the

jets job and then within 24 hours resigned on a cocktail napkin yep yep yeah whatever whatever the most dashing caper would be but um a lot of we we got a lot of takes about how much ass the browns suck and you know that's that's fair that's that's valid if you look at their history it's it's bad um they're the punchline for a reason but i liked their draft last year that's that's not a cool thing to say that you like something the browns did i like their coach i think he's done good things at other huge Jackson has done good things at other places. And they have so many picks this year that it would be hard for even the Browns to fuck up.

And I say that knowing full well that, yes, my Falcons sent them five draft picks and they made basically nothing of it. But I think you look at who they drafted last year. It looks like a damn all-conference team. And this year they'll get Miles Garrett, who I think is good enough for a number one pick. you know, not a no-doubter, but good enough. They'll get a decent quarterback, and they'll get, like, nine or ten other players. Like, they're the, they do the Belichick thing

where they just trade down and hoard picks, and that's probably going to work someday, maybe. Yeah, it's the Browns. It's the Browns. It's the Browns. They don't. Remember, the Browns are the only team I know of, whose owner was actually under active FBI investigation.

And if we can double up and link this to our own universe, remember who he is a booster for. That'd be the University of Tennessee. That's correct. God, but Jones is going to dominate this job. Just dominate it. Push. Let's see.

Doctor Nair? Yes. Boring? Yes. Terrible haircut. check right uh probably going to top about it winning eight or nine games maybe yep there we go kind of kind of looks like a dog already yeah yeah though we're we're we're already here their mass in the brown's mask like they don't have a mascot but like they've got the

you know the brown helmet and they've got the bulldog but then they also have the little elf which is just like a short short white guy sort sort of sort of like a kepler elf who who has been on a prison fasting diet type thing what do you call it hunger strike that's the one I'm very lucid just a short white guy butch Jones I got to say Cleveland Browns head coach butch Jones

not going to make the Bama could be Cleveland argument at that point we say okay fine fine let's let's have this debate okay but but Cleveland will be leading after three quarters. So there's that.