Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 7.36: Late But Still Bad

Episode Date: October 30, 2017

We tried to record this episode focusing entirely on Florida and Jim McElwain's departure, but Ryan's computer would not abide such an affront and so we had to do the thing all over again a day later. What do we cover instead? Honestly, I have no idea and all human endeavor is meaningless in the grand scheme of the universe anyways. Go Gators. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. We did manage to watch some football this weekend, though that really isn't the highlight here. That really isn't the headline. Is it Ryan Nanny joining us on this college football podcast, which has to take a slight divert into, I don't know, human resources, management, that kind of thing? Failure. I mean, it's not that different from talking about Florida after all. Yeah, we recorded this podcast last night. I am responsible for recording both ends of it and editing it.

And yes, I hear you all laughing and locking me right now. The idea that somebody edits this podcast is ridiculous and somebody puts time and effort into it, laughable. But I do because I try because I'm stupid. Not today because do you know what happened? My computer, I think because we said we were doing an all Florida or all things connected to Florida forecast, just said nope. So I have one audio file on my computer that's just me.

talking to nothing. Is it a metaphor? You're goddamn right it is. So we're not doing that. We're starting to pull out. So now I'm just recording off my laptop, Mike, in a, just like a phone room here at the Vox Media in New York offices, it's going to sound like shit. I'm not going to edit it at all. We're just going to publish it almost entirely as is, and anybody who takes issue with

it can fucking fight me. hell yeah talk that shit let them have it man so i i like that this is at least the second time this has happened um where we've had one one fullcaster just talking like like in a garfield minus garfield situation obviously and i also like that your computer just took one look at all that florida and just punt punt punt punt do not want do not want So, yeah, we can talk about Florida, we can talk about the other games. I honestly don't care. As long as we record something that involves all three of us and not just fucking me,

I consider this a win. That's how low my standards have fallen. We're in record label releasing Best of album just to check off a contractually obligated album portion of the season. This only has two new tracks on it. Yeah, you're fucking right. It does. Yeah, they're both recorded in 1988.

do something about it. Only live tracks. That's what you get. You get the recycled live track. Bonus extended version. There is one upside to this cock up on my part. We talked about a bunch of games. I'm not going to pretend that I remember what we said about them.

I do remember that we had a good riff on Ohio State's quarterbacks from 2014 being the Trinity, but we're not going to rehash that. We did not, however, talk about one of the most amazing things of the college football weekend, and that came from the Kentucky Tennessee game. And it was not something done by either of the coaches or players, at least not directly. Spencer, what was the greatest moment of this particular game? I think the greatest moment came early in the Tennessee-Kentucky game, because it is the only time I have ever seen this.

Got a little chippy early. And the referees, like the bus drivers of so many public schools that I went to, decided that the easiest way to stop it was to just convict everybody. And how did they do that, Jason Kirk? Well, they tried to defy the wisdom above the sparks. They tried to arrest them all. They just flagged everybody on the fucking field. Even on the field is not expansive enough.

They didn't specify. They said the personal foul on everybody. On the sideline? In the luxury boxes, in the stands, the whole damn states? In the world? I mean, Ryan, you're the lawyer here. What was the extent of the flagging here? So I think, you know, the statutory construction we should use here is that a referee's authority, we can agree, only extends to players and coaches.

Referees can't really flag fans or medium. numbers. They could, in theory, throw them out of the game, but you couldn't throw a penalty flag on them. So let's assume that it only includes them. However, there is no limitation beyond that. So my theory is that from any player who was actively involved in a game at that moment in time, in college football, was assessed a 15-yard penalty on sports and like conduct. And yes, that means that we should go back and reverse engineer and say, you know what, maybe Nebraska didn't score that touchdown to beat Purdue. Maybe it shouldn't have counted.

Maybe we should fire Mike Riley. I'm sure Baker Mayfield picked up an own sportsman like somewhere in that second quarter. He's probably booted now. If he didn't, if he hadn't, he deserved it. We all know that. I'm a little disappointed if he hadn't. So if a crowd throws a bunch of shit in the end zone and delays a game or whatever, like that team can be hit with a penalty for that.

So, I mean, I think the rest's power extends to the crowd. crowd in a certain extent. Yeah, it's sort of fuzzy, I guess. If you pay me enough money, I will dig into the legal archives and see what I can. I'll write you up a brief on it, but it's not going to be cheap, just so you know. I will bankroll this effort. And it was even better because, you know, college football has this, was it this year or last year that they instituted the two personal foul rule? It was last year for coaches. I'm not sure exactly when went in for players. Right. So basically the rule is you get two personal fouls of any kind in the course of a game and you're out. So Tennessee and Kentucky, very early in the game,

everybody was just like, guess what? Everybody's coming to the plate. Oh, and two. I dare you to swing. I dare you to swing. And it got at least two players kicked out of this game, as I recall. Yeah. Mind you, it got an important player. I got Rishon Golden. And they said quite a two weeks because Rishon Golden got kicked out. And what did what happened at the end of the game? Yeah, that's right. The Tennessee secondary helped surrender a key score in this game to put Kentucky up for good and to beat Tennessee in Lexington. That mattered.

You should also know that Rishon Golden. You might remember that name. You should. He's the guy who told the crowd that they were number one. Give him 11th. shot the double bird in Alabama during Alabama's blowout of Tennessee so when Tennessee finally scored

he gave him the double bird this is my way of saying that Rishon Golden is obviously the best player on Tennessee period he's definitely the most player on Tennessee Rishon Galdon is definitely the most player on Tennessee and for that for that I salute him you got to have a title and you got to be excelsior and at least one degree it might as well be in being yourself

and how do you salute how do you how do you most appropriately salute him oh i'm giving in the full stone cold you can't see me right now but i'm doing this as hard as i can't the true stone cold where you're flipping the bird but you've turned it around so it's not like it's like i'm not flipping you off i'm flipping up off all these haters behind me you know what i'm doing i'm flipping off both teams everybody on both benches everybody that's what i'm doing all at once yellow cards for all of appalachia at once I was overjoyed when this happened because it was literally the first time I had ever seen the all y'all employed, right?

The like group, the like, the like, C, C, everybody. Group text the entire game. Y'all all get it, including everyone in the stands. The reply all. Yeah, no, this, you replied all to the stadium and you rode with it, right? Like, who would it go to? I don't know. Just hit address book.

Everybody gets there. First of all, fuck each and every last one of you as staff as a record label as a motherfucking stadium. I respect it. I know that this will probably be. This is the only time I actually want to be in

on the official's call for the week is just so that I could hear. Y'all. I hope it's the other way. It's like, you are the bravest men we've ever seen. You dare to go where not even eagle. fly. Bro, that was sick.

It's the ultimate street fight. It's the ultimate street fighter combo. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, a left, two, boom, boom, boom, boom. Crowd go, whoa. K. K.O. I'm so, I'm so impressed by this. That was obviously the best thing that happened this week, period.

In football, I mean, involving anything, right, including the firing of Jim McElwain. If you had said, you know, if you could have any one thing happened this week, you said the firing of Jim McAwayne or this, I would have said, you know, McElwain's probably going to get fired anyway. I'll take this. I'll take my chances. Yeah, this is new and unexpected. Florida hiring a Nick Saban disciple who can't get anything out of the offense and leaves in just sort of cheapest stupid fashion. Yeah, that's not new. seen this movie this one this the sequel was somehow worse i have seen that movie before and uh who

knows we can see it again fantastic um yeah great job georgia just you know i i i have come to terms of it by by telling myself that you don't want a small forest fire you know small forest fires are bad because they can spread and they don't really do anything for that you want a big forest fire You want one that just like cleans everything out so that that's how you get growth. That's how you get rebirth and newness. And you know what? Georgia, you just unloaded all the flamethrowers on Florida. And I appreciate that because it's cleansing.

You cleansed us in the fire. You want to controlled fire. Yeah. You know, you want to clear out all that brush so it doesn't spark up during dry season. And goddamn, if there was one thing Georgia did in Florida, it was control. And if there's one thing Florida's offense was, it was a dry season. A real dry season. It's been dry for a while.

All right, we're running a to Tumbleweed. Two hundred and sixty-eight straight games of trickling. That's right. We're running 38 Tumbleweed Z. Break. This is a lot like, this streak is a lot like the world's oldest tree when they show the world's oldest tree. Like, here's the world's oldest tree. Still kicking after 2,800 years.

What does it do? What does it do? It persists. It looks like a piece of driftwood. It doesn't even put out leaves anymore. They're like, it's technically alive. 750-year-old turtle just sunning itself. Kill me.

Kill me. It's eaten a piece of lettuce for like 8,000 days straight. Look at it go. That's the Florida offense. And that, by the way, you know, if you watch the game, it's amazing how little Georgia had to try they all Georgia did was just all they had to do was fill out the forms man

that's all they did like oh look we made a tackle on your terrible play oh look we blocked everyone blocked correctly yeah this is this is a little legalistic but have you have you ever seen a trial where one side is representing themselves that's what this game that's what this game was Georgia

Georgia you hired an attorney You hired a good attorney, did his homework, did discovery, got all his motion papers in order. Florida, you decided to represent yourself pro se. And Georgia wisely said, you know what? I'm going to let Florida speak. I'm going to let Florida speak for as long as they want. Say whatever they want to the judge. Say whatever they want to the jury.

Not going to object. Not going to try to slow them down or stop. I'm just going to let them be as Florida as they fucking can be. Yeah. And that, if you look at the box score, this reflects this. Florida's got more first downs. They had the ball more. They just did more stuff, which is the saddest thing of all.

There was so much, so much effort in all directions, and none of it matters. Florida's calling their pediguana as a witness? Sure. Put them on the stand. Absolutely. His name's Lenny. I love it. Swear him in.

Georgia in the huddle every snap. Just like, click ask Corso. Sure, fine. Give me the play. Okay, run it. It worked. Okay, great. Give me another one. That's fine, too. Sure. Yeah. No, they were just clicking, like, choose type of play, right? And most of the time it was run.

Run. Because, remember, if you're Milton Burrell and you need to win a bar bet, you only pull out enough to win. And that's exactly what Georgia did. They passed seven times. Seven times. I mention that at the top, whatever, I'd like to repeat it here. When the other team only throws seven times, you're on some extremely humiliating. eating shit for the other team. It's also, they only threw seven times, and Florida through 25.

So you would think just the way numbers work, you'd be like, Florida had to finish with more passing yards, right? No. No, Georgia finished with almost 40 more passing yards throwing the ball seven times than Florida did throwing at 20 fucking five. You know, when a team from Georgia plays Florida and just doesn't pass bad things. you could also this is that game plan I would just write these words across it for Georgia

which is for Florida which is for sale baby shoes never worn QB shoe floor sale QB shoes never worn QB shoes never worn it's the saddest story and it only took so many words to tell the story yeah it's it's bad but you know I enjoy that it's decisive I do because

one the reason we lost This game just got fired. That happened. Yes and no. Doug Nussmeyer is still running the offense, so. Oh, we do get to watch that. What a joy that'll be, because you get to hear, you know,

national commentators and analysts openly make fun of what's happening on the field. Like basic things. Yeah, that's a joy. But he won't be running the offense forever. More importantly, he won't be recruiting, which is another thing. I enjoy that there was so little faith in what was happening there

that the minute that milk turned, right? The minute that anything happened to indicate that it was going bad, as if this were a zombie movie where somebody just spiked a little fever, right? Like, were you bitten? No, no, no, no, no. Did you just sneeze?

No, man. Staph. That's what Florida was waiting for. And if you don't believe that, I don't know, go back and look at the statement that the university put out sort of hanging the coach out to dry when he said they were death threats but didn't elaborate on them. The university was like, oh yeah, he didn't give us any further information on those. So we're going to fire him in a few

days. We're going to try and save about $9 million first if we can. And we did, by the way. Cut about $9 million off that buyout thing. And it's even better. And it's even better because his agent is Jimmy Saxon is also the agent of at least one coach that Florida is probably interested in talking to.

So he was like, yeah, it seems fair. Seems good. All right. We don't here? Have you ever seen that before? What, a coach taking less of a buyout? No, a coach's agent putting himself in a position

where one might reasonably infer, that he was saving or that he was saving the university money on one deal so that he could make another. I mean, now I'm not saying that's what he was doing. Right. I'm just saying one could infer that.

I mean, I think he probably looks at it this way. Jim McIlwain's going to get another job. Jimmy Sexton's going to get his percentage. Like, who it comes from is sort of irrelevant. The more chaos you can cause, more of your clients you can cause to get raises from their current schools or go somewhere else and make more money. It's all good. So you just need to, like, why, you don't want to gum up the chaos, the coaching carousel. You need that sucker to spin and spin fast because it spits

money when it does and you get a percentage of that money. So just, you know, if this is the cost of grease in this unsafe carnival ride, buddy, let's slap some Crisco on these ball bearings and go. that's spoken like a true Florida man thanks I'm pretty dead inside now since we talked about Florida for as dictated by the listeners for 70 minutes last night yeah um we can probably jump off and discuss some Penn State Ohio State which I'll think yeah I think that's I'm much more that'd be a nice a nice refreshing change of pace I'm much more comfortable living there so so many points first of all yeah look at him all 39 on one side 38 on another didn't even know that was legal This was a game where you had Ohio State, as Bill wrote, spotted Penn State 14 points,

kicked to Saquan and then did a bad job on kick coverage. Well, that's seven right there. Gave up an early fumble. Well, that's another 14. And despite that, and a whole bunch of other weird stuff pulled off a comeback. And if you look at the yards per play, dominated Penn State all game long other than the big weird plays. like this is one of the most impressive performances by any team this year to be quite honest and put all all game long despite that despite spot on 14 points

putting Penn State in bad positions on both sides of the ball I mean Sequin Barclay San Juan Barclay wasn't that effective you know aside from the the runs that he was going to get right like they handed him the kickoff return right but other than that it's not a whole lot there in terms of consistent production. They pretty much turned them into a random occurrence, right? And they did that with their defensive line.

You know, I don't think Penn State's offensive line probably got enough scrutiny prior to this game. One reason is that they weren't playing Ohio State the rest of the season. Because especially... They had only played Akron seven times. Yeah, just seven Akron's in a row. And when you play Ohio State, what you're facing on the D-line, it's a little bit different.

It's also good because we're slowly learning that every Ohio State game, every big Ohio State game has to have like certain elements. And it's really just a matter of who fate has assigned those elements would go to. Questionable call. Yeah, you had at least one of those with a touchdown in the end zone that was called an interception taken away by Ohio State that upon review was turned and turned into a touchdown. Yeah, had that. Fluky special teams block. Yeah, went the other way this time. With a 3520 lead with about 12 minutes left to play, Penn State

punted from the Ohio State 43. You're thinking, okay, they're just going to drop it in there. Ohio State's going to have a long field. Nope. Blocked. And Ohio State started with the ball at the Penn State 41 scored two plays later to make this a one-score game. It's just, these are the things you have to have. And then you also have to have one quarterback completely melting down. Sometimes it's J.T. Barrett. Sometimes he's the one who just can't complete a pass to save his life when it matters. It turns out it was Trace McSorley in this one.

That last possession that Penn State had, when they got the ball after a kind of of a shitty squib kick, started at the 41, down one, with a minute 48 to play, and I believe all three timeouts, and this is what they did. Incomplete pass to Saquan Barclay, sacked for a loss of five yards, incomplete pass to Mike Gaseki, incomplete pass to Joanne Jobs. They didn't gain a yard in this final drive for them, which was just, God. no i mean ryan you mean you say a yard that means they gain multiple yards right like more than more than one a negative five is a multiple yes oh okay so you can do that multiplication also in this ohio state big game template you need people bitching about a specific running back not getting enough carries

which for the first half it was j k dobbins for ohio state their running backs ohio state backs finished up with 20 carries to j t barrett's 17 carries to 39 throws which that's not all that out of whack in a shootout. And by the end it was, you know, Sequin only touched it so many times and not much toward the end. And like, you know, when you really look at it, he was averaging 2.1.

And Ohio State's defensive line looked like a fucking pack of hounds. So that's pretty understandable as well. But it's just something you have to gripe about. You have to look at like the pitch counts, like your baseball fans or something. And act like, you know, like this guy needs to be shooting more threes. Yeah, it's a baseball turn.

The thing that both Notre Dame and Ohio State have in common If you just watch them is the ability So many people just bristled Just the idea that you're bringing this up But okay, go ahead No, no, no, I'm going to do this, all right? Is that they have the ability to just slowly turn the screws Right?

And just put pressure. They put pressure at so many points, right? Defensively, offensively. Maybe not so much on special. teams, but so much pressure at every single point on the field. If you watch Penn State, I mean, they just, they unraveled in really simple ways, right? Like really simple sort of coverage rules and stuff because they just, if it wasn't the run, it was the pass.

And if it wasn't the pass, well, it was probably still the pass because J.T. Barrett didn't miss a pass in the fourth quarter and threw for 188 yards and three TDs in a quarter against Penn State, a team that didn't have an L coming in. I mean, it's unreal what happens if you're a team that can consistently do that, even at a low level, because by the time the fourth quarter rolls around, there's just parts all over the road, right? The machine is coming apart from what the other team has done to you. It's so cool to watch. It really, like, when it's working well, which is one of the reasons, by the way, like, if Ohio State wants to go as far as they want this year, it's fine with me. I really, because they're

a joy to watch right now. Per internet troll regulations, we are also supposed to mention that the other thing Ohio State and Notre Dame have in common is that they could not get into Michigan. We can continue. Thank you. I mean, I do have a Michigan tattoo, so I'm contractually obligated.

You are soul-bound, which is uncomfortable for you, but here we are. Oh, you want to talk about discomfort? Oh, the segue. Discomfort is giving up a loss to Houston and doing it like this, okay? Because USF was undefeated

and USF is no longer undefeated and they lost to Houston. Houston, a team that was under their own kind of pressure, i.e. Major Alpha White was first year. Wasn't going exactly as planned. This changed things and do you know how it changed?

They gave up a long fourth down on the final drive. Well, by law you mean nine, maybe 14. 15 yards, right? Oh, no, you can just take that little mountain climber from the price is right. Keep him going. You're lateh-hoo.

Fourth and twenty. Nope. Nope. You'll leave. I believe it was I think it was a fourth and twenty. Fourth and twenty-four if I recall. Yeah, I'll pull it up here. I mean, heaven forbid.

Fourth and twenty, excuseable. Fourth and twenty-four. Fourth and twenty-four. they completed a 30-yard pass. And if you go back and dig this play up, it wasn't like, oh, somebody got lost in coverage, or, you know, Derek King scrambled around and somebody just got loose. No, I was just thrown into a sea of South Florida defenders, and none of them made the play. They actually, yeah, he threw it into the lunchroom. That's what it looked like, right?

Like, Pizza Day! Food fight! Our mom says I can't have lactose. Yeah, and brought it down, and then as if that weren't bad enough, 20-yard scramble by the quarterback for a TV. To win the game. It's got free. Horrible. It was horrible.

It's like, I didn't see it happen live. I had to watch it a couple of minutes later, and it was worse than I imagine. So that's how USF manages to become a one-loss team and hands UCF. The Keys for that outside New Year's bid. for the team that we put in for diversity's sake, right? Like, oh, let's just get an American. Let's get some charming team in there. And then that team inevitably just blows up whoever they face.

Yeah, it's the burger. Hey, we need a wheelchair kid for this Burger King Kids Club. Yeah. We did enough, right? We're sensitive now. Good job us. And then USF, the UCF as like the vegan option. Yeah, it's the vegan option.

And the vegan option is just going to roll in with a warhammer. You're absolutely blindside somebody, right? Yeah, this is just rice with tomatoes on it. Yep, uh-huh, sure is. It sure is. It's the best thing on the menu. Now, but what really sings about this is, if you're South Florida, this is, this was a beatable Houston team. This was a team that, you know, had lost to other bad teams, had played inconsistently all year long, you had them on the ropes, you know, and you should have won this game.

It's a lot easier if you're, say, I don't know, T. you and you look and you're like listen we just we lost the giant killers i all iowa state does in 2017 is take scalps that's just what they do well you can't be mad at that no like iowa state by the way like once everyone loses to iowa state they become the biggest fans of iowa state right like because that that loss has to mean something right the baffling thing about iowa state is when did iowa state figure out that they were good at football At what point in the schedule? After the Texas game, when their then starting quarterback was no longer on the team.

Correct. They lose their starting quarterback, which sparks a four-game win streak against Oklahoma, including Oklahoma and TCU, both undefeated. Before that, they lose to Iowa 44-41 in OT. Which, this is all I'm saying, even though every game Iowa's played this year equals 177, save for the Iowa State game, the fundament of any quality team and their schedule will rest on Iowa, right? Because the contagion moves like this. What is Ohio State's only loss? Oklahoma. Correct. What's Oklahoma's only loss?

Iowa State. Correct. And Iowa State's biggest loss Would be Texas, I guess That's the one that was not close No, they care about, right? Oh, well, yeah, that's El Asico Which was a great game this year

And again, we're wrong about everything Correct, so So, any arguments involving those teams And now, TCU, since they caught one, right? Also, who's Ohio State Travel to play next? No. Everything hinges on our

The circle is complete. This is also a good place for us to do our first charity ad read. I'm going to let Jason take it away from here. So this one comes from Kevin, and these were sent to us a couple months ago as part of our disaster relief charity drive. So this one is going to sound a little bit outdated on the surface. Kevin says, please try to sell people on Texas after we lose to Iowa State. Good luck. As we now know, Texas went to Iowa State and won by 10 points. At the time, that was sort of mocked as like, oh, Texas finally got back on track by beating Iowa State. Texas finally won in Ames.

But looking back, that was a really good win for Texas. And it goes even deeper than that. If you look at 2016, you had the win over Notre Dame, number 10, Notre Dame, but Notre Dame went 4 and 8. So we're not counting that. This is a bigger win than Notre Dame last year. You beat a nothing special, really. you beat a 7-and-6 Baylor, but this is going to be a better win than that. 2015, you close that by beating a 10-and-3 Baylor,

but that was a team without a quarterback. Literally did not have a quarterback on the field that day. So we're not going to count that. This is a better win than that. You have to go all the way back to a game that was literally more than two years ago from today when Texas knocked off Oklahoma. Texas beating Iowa State in 2017 was Texas's biggest win in years. so I think you're feeling pretty good about Texas

Texas Iowa State game right now I mean it's it's keeping Iowa State out of the playoff conversation right now and you think oh you're an idiot and you're making shit up no I'm very serious no we're not making that matter like it's the fascinating thing after this week are the number of teams that you can discuss

who at least merit theoretical playoff conversation right for instance I don't know they're lurking Memphis I mean I'm talking at the very furthest

you went you went way over there to start that's like I'm at the edge of the yard that's like Bama loses to Charleston Southern or whatever and then wins the SEC yeah yeah like something that weird

like way out there but closer in if you look at teams that you go man you know if if not for a few bounces of the ball or a score here or there, right? We're pretty close to, I mean, we're

reasonably close one game difference from Virginia Tech, right? And Virginia Tech, like, still theoretically an interesting team. Still in it. Still in it. You beat Miami, you're, you know, all you got at that point just went out and beat Clemson. Yeah.

The only team that you've lost to, right? Just rectify what done gone wrong for you. right? If not for you know getting beaten pretty bad

this weekend I'm not even going to make the case for NC State they got hammered yeah so it's not out also

you have to remember there are other losses too so it's a good South Carolina team but not a good enough to be

yeah that can be one of your two losses and you're getting in it's just fine it's still going to be

a fine year for NC State we're all very proud of you and we love you very much really what this is setting up for though in two weeks

Iowa State plays Oklahoma State as of now you can't tell me with a definitely straight face that they won't go on the road and beat West Virginia so we could be looking at like a top 10 Iowa State team playing Oklahoma State and if Oklahoma State wins that game

how fucked is it that like they will be the ones who can say like Well, yeah, look at this quality win. Look at this, look at the shine. I got on me right here, taking down Iowa State than nobody else could. And I don't know. You're probably thinking like, well, yeah, Iowa State, they're not going to be West Virginia. West Virginia is in a very, you know, the holidays are coming.

Will Greer is feeling very giving these days. And against that defense, they will happily accept any and all charity that you throw. Buddy, that's the Riot Bowl. Oh, wow. I mean, you throw out all the statistics. You throw out all the Wilger's 300-yard games. when it comes to the riot ball. That's for the gas can of destiny

or whatever it is. Smoking musket and wide right, Natty Light call it. What is it, I haven't paid close attention, but there's some story that Iowa State fans like ate a Taco Bell out of all its food after this TCU win. Yeah, they went so hard,

they crashed, they emptied out the Taco Bell in Ames. Like pillaging vandals. Say a prayer for, the facilities management personnel in Ames today because man they got some work if you clean out of Taco Bell

they got some work ahead of them absolutely yeah I mean Ames is famous for its clean water that might not be true to that not today you know if you're cleaning out an entire Taco Bell yeah you might want to just wait a minute on the water table issue of boil advisory

I'm telling you the anuses of Ames or boiling today The other game This other game this week Just kind of baffling To me Would you look at it And we're going to mention it

In fact, I want you to just admire our restraint In waiting some 30 plus minutes Into the podcast to mention this But it says something about how dismal Florida State season has been thus far That we waited this last Yeah. I mean, we, we joke, not joking like, we said that there was a good chance Boston College was going to win this game. I was a little skeptical. I am, again, very stupid. I definitely, I don't think anybody here was like, oh, yeah, it's going to be a 32 point victory. Well, we knew Boston College would score about 35 points. Sure, sure, but Florida State has fallen to such.

obscene levels of offensive ineptitude at this point that it's just it's it's actually hard to watch and this is somebody who you know thought he would be perfectly happy with a terrible florida state team um yeah it's just it's making me uncomfortable at this point it's making it's it's sort of like okay sir can you just we just need to leave sir sir i just no you're making a scene can you just go home it'd make everybody a lot happy sir it's not great no it's very bad and a lot of things happen i think that there's a lot of like our own bud elliott is fond of enumerating all the ways in which florida's date is dysfunctional right now but it's very hard to look at that first game versus alabama and not just see that

as you know when you're about to get sick right and you do something stupid like i don't know stay up way too late or you're like oh no you know i'm feeling a little run down but you know i think it's a good day to do heavy squats and sprints yeah it's a great idea and then i'll go drinking and you wake up the next day and you have a plague and you were probably already getting sick but there's one little thing that sort of kicks you over the edge uh playing bama is that inadvisible night out drinking prior to feeling sort of run down because that's what really sort of i think kicked the barn down for him i mean Tennessee has this famous streak earlier in the year where they went, was it a month plus where they

didn't score a touchdown and they went even longer without scoring an offensive touchdown. They have 19 trips to the end zone in eight games. How many do you think Florida State has in seven? It's 12. It's 12. Oh, I was going to go 14. It's 12. The only team that has fewer touchdowns, offensive, defensive, special teams, whatever, is Kent State, which has eight. U-TEP has more touchdowns, Georgia Southern has more touchdowns, Illinois had, like, that's, for a team that has not had, even in down years, you know, relatively down years, they've never had this much trouble just scoring it's amazingly inept right now yeah you know they're gonna they're gonna be

florida by 20 right yeah and you know what it'll probably be uh 21 to 2 that sounds right and it'll be seven florida state field goals those hey points of points right now man i'm not even like this is when you about mid seasons when you get disgusted with lack of production and you go It's another field goal. Time November ends. You're getting around a rivalry season. You're like, ho-hoo. Put 12 on them.

Let's do it. Run it up. We want 10. Let's get 18. Come on. Let's get 18. We just went in and dropped 9 at Doke Campbell Stadium. Listen, it worked for Stanford, all right?

They didn't have a lot of points, but they got the ones they needed to. They went and dropped 15 on them. Don't worry about it. It's fine. that's a right that's that's that's ranked stanford rankings are the worst this is this is what i do think we should allow we should like the problem of the top 25 is that you have to you have to fill out the whole thing and i do think we should allow whether it's the playoff committee or the ap or the coaches i think we should allow them to just like just stop when you want if you're like

i rank 16 teams and everybody else is trash i think you should be allowed to do that i think the top 25 should have 25 as a as a maximum. But if you're like yeah, I'm only ranking nine teams, everybody else is kind of trashy. That's fine. I don't have a problem with that. No, no. That's, why don't you know, I always think that you should also do like you should also do

winners of the quarter. You do that in business, right? Sure. Right, you know. Employee of the month. Sure. Employee of the month, right? Like, Khalil Tate, for instance. It's going to be very hard for him, I think, to win the Heisman, because I just don't think Heisman voters are very imaginative as

the whole, they have an accepted understanding of what constitutes a husband winner, and I don't think somebody who starts in October is necessarily that person. Now, I could be wrong. However, that's the employee of the month right there. Khalil Tate, you can give them the employee of the month.

You know, team of the month, right? You want to be like, oh, let's shout out the Tucson office. The Tucson office, sales are through the roof, right? They're just selling big numbers. No small numbers, right? because the most baffling number that you'll get out of the weekend is any stat that you read from the Washington State, Arizona game. I'm not just talking about Arizona stats, although they're weird, okay? Now, mind you, I'm going to give you the score and just fool this for you.

I watch the whole thing, so I'm going to spoil it for you, okay? This is why math and football aren't always friends. Final score, 58, Arizona, 37, Washington State. Obviously, a convincing blowout where Arizona must have had constant. production on offense and held Washington State to a just a minimum of what they're capable of offensively Washington State had more yards like way more yards they had 646 yards to 585 first downs

this is the most I this one broke my brain like I had a very very small stroke another one looking at the stat because Arizona had 585 yards of all offense 58 points and they did this on 13 first downs what no that doesn't that no not right some i mean every time you look up during an arizona game since galile tate took over it's like yeah there he goes there he goes 76 yards and it's not like he does it every

play you only see it three or four times a week which that's a fucking lot you know but like Arizona only needs three or four plays a week what if this was what if this whole Arizona season was, in fact, a misguided, poorly communicated Heisman campaign. Be like, well, we'd like to show you, you know, it's the Pepsi, the Pepsi challenge. Here's Arizona without Khalil Tate, and here it is with him. And now clearly you understand why you have to give the Heisman. Spencer, this is also a good place for you to do your assigned read for the week. Oh, the assigned reading, because I will actually do the homework for once.

My assigned reading is going to come from, let's see, reader Sean. We were just talking about the Pact 12 from Sean. He says college football on the West Coast is superior because we have dim sum as a game day brunch option. And watching Butch Jones lose a very winnable game and hilarious fashion while eating dumplings is just better. I will take your word for it. I enjoy watching that happen anyway with dim sum, even with the chicken feet. They're really just kind of, you know, bones surrounded by this kind of gelatinous goo. I'd have to agree.

Dim sum could only enhance the experience of watching Butch Jones systematically lose a game. Pac-12 football, it means the right amount because we have more in our lives. It's not the tidiest tagline for a conference. I'll give you that. But there's a nugget of economical truth in there that I respect. Pack-12 football, it just means the right amount. It just means a low. It just means a dash.

It just means enough, man. You know, like, I've just, I got enough. beauty in my life get to look out beautiful like western ranges and the ocean and you know have things like nice weather and a lack of humidity yeah i will say a bunch of bones surrounded by gelatinous material is what we should start calling the arkansas oldness game that feels about right 100% like i don't by the way like another bizarre thing about pack 12 football is if you haven't been out there. Pack 12 after dark is really only after dark

for you, right? Like it's, it ends after dark, but you still actually have a reasonable evening. We did point this out, and I believe our warm up, I think it's worth repeating that Pac-12, in order to increase visibility, you want to put those big games on early, you want to make sure that they're

front and center, right? For instance, unexpected, though, it may be the battle for the Pac-12 South is likely to come down to Arizona-USC, correct? Yes. They play in L.A. this coming Saturday. Ryan Nanny, what time do they kick off? Eastern time.

10.45. Not even 10.30. They pushed it back, 15. So you can't have it in the middle slot because then it's going up against Bedlam. And you, I mean, if you put it at night, it'd be up against LSU Bama. Although, then you can market it as like,

hey, you want to see some points? You enjoying that 13 to be? two game, because we just put up that many in the last two minutes. That's not great. I'm going to do the last read, and hopefully it will serve as a little bit of inspiration for us all going forward. This one comes from, this is from Reese. Thank you to Reese.

He would like to point out that Texas lost to Kansas, and people don't forget. That's true. Texas sure a shit did lose to Kansas last year. That was, I want to say it was around this time, roughly. It was near the end of the season, but not quite at the end of the season. Oh, no, it was November 19th. It was their penultimate game, the game where they just needed that one win, would have been bowl eligible. And I say this because this is the time, you know, we as college football fans and as media members,

we refuse to just accept that we know nothing, that the best way to approach this, sport is that we don't know anything. We're the same people. I am the same person who said, even though Iowa State beat Oklahoma, well, they can't do it against TCU. So we're all looking in and saying, okay, well, Penn State lost Ohio State. Their resume's not that good outside of the conference, and they don't, they didn't draw anybody, you know, they didn't get the sort of signature win that they needed within the conference to be in the playoff. They're out. They're done. you know we're all looking and we're sort of saying this is how it's going to line up man there's so much dumb shit left to happen there's there's so much dumb shit left to happen

we just saw number two and number four lose and and we're still like yeah well this is all right well this yeah the plane is on fire but i know how the plane works so it's probably fine no man the fire's somehow going to turn into ice the ice is somehow going to turn into an ice dragon and the ice dragon yeah he's stealing all the oxygen masks that's how his plane works it doesn't make sense and you don't have to understand it and it's better if you don't by the way i have one more stat that i did not get to unload about that

arizona game that it'll make you ill first of all Arizona only ran 51 plays only 51 on just seven of those plays seven out of 51 all right They got 60% of their yardage. Sure. Uh-huh. This all, yep, it all makes sense.

So 13% of their plays. Seven plays accounted for 60%. Rich Rod running that trickle-down offense. There's big plays, and the production will just spread down from those. We should also briefly mention, yeah, Louisville lasts awake. Louisville has beaten let's see two ACC opponents at this point

UNC and Florida State and two teams that are more similar than they are different at this juncture Not in the good way Not in the good way gave up 42 points to the claw fence gave up 461 yards passing

John Wolfer through five touchdowns and average almost 14 yards of passing attempts. I mean, can we even call what Louisville has a defense anymore? Is this just, is this the other misguided Heisman campaign where Louisville decided, well, you know, we think Lamar's really got to put up some standout numbers to impress the voters this year. So if the defense just gets off the field reliably by giving up touchdowns, that just gives him more steps.

This is good for him, right? We got to get Lamar back out there We got to get Lamar back out there Send you guys out and tell them all To rush the quarter rack Let's see what happens I mean there's kind of some fucked up logic to it Like he's your best player by a mile

He's the only thing good about your team Why wouldn't you want him on the field? Doesn't that increase your chances to win To get Lamar out there? You could It's a very Mike Dan Tony approach Like fuck defense just go Just keep shooting

Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot If you really want to cinch that Heisman man Joel Lanning's doing it while we put Lamar Jackson at free safety Just do that for November If you really want to If you really want to make everybody mad as

Matt is fire over this, right? Why is he handling kickoffs? I don't know. They're just trying to get him more time, more your time. That's the only thing they can do at this point. He's not great at it. Yeah, but it's still fun.

It's still fun to watch. A couple of other baffling notes. Remember Virginia? Five and No, Virginia. Oh, no. Oh, no. You know what they didn't do? It's because we said nice things. Because we said nice things about them, right?

Because they lost 31, 14 to Pitt, which is respectable because Pitt is America's most influential team year in and year out. So who better to course correct Virginia in their moment of hubris than a dominant Pitt squad? Additionally. Yeah. Yeah, Virginia may have blown its best chance. They got Georgia Tech, Louisville, Miami, Virginia Tech left. That said, if Virginia gets Bull eligible by scoring 48 points on Louisville, yeah, that's going to be funny as shit.

Funny as shit. I will roll. Additionally, I'd like to mention a couple of things that happened this week. Same thing happened to a lot of different coaches. People who were on the verge of being fired, and last week were like, man, they really righted the ship. Guess who jumped back in the dumpster? A couple people.

Like firmly in the dumpster. Guess who jumped out of that dumpster to make room for him? Well, first of all, Brett Bilema. Brett Bilema just hopped out of that. At the end of... Perpetually jumping in and out. Well, that's... He's, you know, he's getting conditioning in.

It's doing box jumps. Listen, hogs root, all right? Hodge's root, wherever they can find a win. I don't care how deep I got to dig. I don't care... I don't care what it smells like. I think the trash pit in Star Wars is the best part. I don't know why they left.

There's still some good meat on that. boom just doing some dumpster jumps classic arkansas workout yeah they beat old miss by a point and you know what that's not a great outcome for anybody because one point went over old miss it's not going to buy you much but you know what it does buy you keeps you from losing the old miss it's also it's also a lot more impressive when you when you realize they were down 31 seven at one point in the first half old miss this was a hell of an uh of an Auburn impression to go up 24 fucking points and then score two field goals the rest of the game and let this Arkansas team crawl back and beat you. It was especially good because

Arkansas won this game on a 34-yard field goal. Old Miss had all three timeouts left at that point. And they throws them three times in a row. And every time Connor Limpert went ahead and kicked the even though the time had been blown. And he made all three of the frozen kick misses. So you're like, well, maybe? And he said, fuck you. And he mailed that fucking game winner. It was amazing.

It was really amazing. And this game makes no sense. It should be banned in several states. And probably is. So you got Burt dumpster jumping out of the dumpster, or at least showing signs of getting out of the trash this week by taking Arkansas to a mighty three and five and thus beginning the holy month of November

since October didn't go quite so well for him. Why doesn't he just get Arkansas to schedule like seven games in November and only one in October? Yeah, pull off some 1898 Sawani shit, whatever it is, whichever team it was.

Let's play two! I like the idea of Bert's just straddling the edge of the dumpster, which way I'm a leaning. Can you tell? You probably can't. Better not fire me. I might fall out the dumpster still costs like the GDP of a small country to decide which side of the dumpster he's going to be on right like those cash is heavy who knows what side it's going to fall on another person jumping back into that dumpster oh man mississippi state uh just helping kevin summla back into it just here here hold it open for you you step in there isn't it warm isn't it cozy just climb back in there uh Texas A&M got hammered like just absolutely battered Like, every time I looked up, I kept flipping over to this. And every time I looked up, it was Nick Fitzgerald splitting safeties.

It's not good. It's not good when Nick Fitzgerald is splitting safeties on your defense. They lost 35, 14. He's back. He's back in the tank. That'll be fun. And you know what, though? The dumpster, it's looking pretty nice.

It's all polished up. It's been swept. Oh, there's money. There's money in the dumpster for sure. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because Butch Jones, he's done, but he can't add the little homie touches, because he just lives there. I appreciate that Tennessee refuses to close the lid, though. They're like, ugh, it's just, it's so much work. Can somebody else do it? Please.

The Tennessee's being like real college students about it, you know? Like, Tennessee's like, eh, I could, I could clean up under the toilet, but I'll just wait until I drop something else down there and then get them both. This all makes sense because, you know, one of the famous features of the UT Knoxville campus is the body farm. And if you don't know, it's a place where it's a controlled field, basically, where they bury human bodies or parts of human bodies in different conditions so they can sort of say like, okay, this is what an arm looks like if it's buried in mostly limestone-rich soil or something.

This is what looks like after three months, three years, whatever. and all the football program is doing is contributing to that effort because they're like all right let's see what happens to this dead coaching career after a certain okay this is what it looks like after a Kentucky loss school let's find out what it looks like after it loses by 30 points to Missouri let's see what happens after it misses bull eligibility by losing to Vanderbilt at the end of the year this is good this is all like very good shit here this is super helpful also one more coach who managed to you know, join the crowd in our capacious dumpster of potentially, you know, fired coaches. Arizona State. Todd Graham. Todd Graham, riding high. Great defense. Just, just flex it. Just a, just a complete remake of everything the Arizona State was. And it was, it was throwback Saturday against USC because they, uh, they, they went back to looking like they usually look. 4817, had no ability whatsoever to stop anything USC was trying to do. Gave up 600 yards, 29 first downs.

And, yeah, had worst out of all, but a really familiar one to Arizona State fans. You know how you've been holding off rushing attacks? Just, you know, oh, man, tackling so well. You know, everyone's inconsistent. You got back to what works, allowing 341 yards rushing. Every member of Washington, every opponent on Washington's schedule is really engaged in this impressive concerted effort to make Washington's resume as trash as it possibly could be. Even when you get down to teams like Fresno State, Fresno State was, you know, having a good little turn to the season, had lost to Alabama and Washington both on the road, but had otherwise looked like pretty impressive and they went out and lost it, you know, a two-win UNLV. team. Oregon State. No,

couldn't possibly get that win. Cal loses. Ruckers, continues to be Rutgers. And the loss, Arizona State, which you thought, okay, well, maybe that's going to be one of those where you can look it back at the end of the season and say, yeah, well, that was the start of it. They beat Utah. No, just get hammered.

It is the most poorly kept conspiracy possible at this point, that everybody who was assigned to play Washington this year, Just decided, all right, we're going to make it all look like ass by the end. The best win you're going to have is over Montana. I was just going to say FCS Montana, they're down to five and three. A competitive five and three, but however much you can't say like, oh, we beat the FCS national champs or anything like that.

I respect it. It's like the retro tank, right? Here's a really fun fact, though. Washington and Alabama might share the same best. win because they both beat Fresno State.