Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 7.37: Fullcast Secrets Revealed!

Episode Date: November 2, 2017

Wondering how we give the Shutdown Fullcast that special, worn-in feel episode after episode? Wonder no longer - we reveal the secrets within! Plus, we tackle BOLD PREDICTIONS, including:Wisconsin goes undefeated but the Playoff Committee picks UCF over themMiami beats Virginia Tech and Notre Dame, still winds up with 2 lossesStaying at Iowa State > going to NebraskaLSU will win the Bama game by 10Ok maybe we just said that last thing to make Bama mad, which is what Nick Saban wantsYou're welcome, Nick Saban Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Shutdown Fullcast. I'm Spencer Hall, joining me as always. We've got Ryan Nanny. Say hi, Ryan. Hello. How are you? I'm good. We were just discussing in our pre-show meeting, our three-hour pre-show meeting,

where we script out every single second of this podcast. That'd be so sad if we actually did that. Well, it's just tough because, you know, we have the writer's room. That happens the day before the podcast. And it can be very challenging to take 20 season comedy writers and be like, listen, we need to get a lean, punchy show. And then, of course, we meet with our audio engineering team, the three steves. They're all named Steve. And they tell us about how they're going to give the show the unique shit texture that, you know, all of this is added in post.

If you were to listen to this show uncut, you'd be like, oh, my God, it feels like I'm there. And there is a symphony hall. and somebody is slowly like rubbing my neck in just the right way. But they go in and they add all the, like my voice even sound. I sound like George Clooney normally. They make me sound like this. Yeah, that's all a bit. Also, if you're listening on stereo in your left ear right now,

you'll hear a barking dog from somewhere in my neighborhood. On my right, you will hear three children jumping on a trampoline. That is all as well. Those are all actors. Yeah. Those are three grown men simulating those children. And to the left, it's actually a woman. She has a very deep voice.

Right on cue. Oh. We were talking about how Jason, we were just all of the sounds in the background that periodically occur on Jason's track. We're really just productions of a Foley artist, an expert Foley artist in the background working like a 1930s radio serial. producer right there comes thunder he does this to throw the government off because you know you've you've seen sneakers you can identify where somebody's been based on sort of like background noise or whatever so jason adds in things so that if the FBI is listening they can be like hmm that's a kestrel and and kestrels live in this part of the united states jason's nowhere near there he's way

ahead of you he's he's so many steps ahead of you they know oh that sounds like um this brand of aluminum foil being crinkled. Jason's never bought that. He just added that, idiots. I ain't trying to get triangulated. Come on now. You hear these bumpy-ass roads that sound just like Alabama roads? I've got somebody next to me, you know, punching a brick wall with like a running a chainsaw on a brick wall or something like that. That would probably sound like an Alabama road. That's right. He is wearing an Auburn coach's polo while he does that for added effect. Because you can hear the difference. You can definitely hear the difference.

I would like to transition from the refusal to triangulate and want to be spotted by the feds. Somebody who wants to, you know, keep it on the low and hide. I want to get that right into this week's games because a couple of scary things. Scary thing, one, so we're just coming off Halloween. It's week 10. We're in double digits, y'all.

Why is that scary? It's terrifying. We're getting old. Oh, you were, listen, you were both old when this season started. None of this has changed. Oh, okay. Young man with a child, Ryan Nanny in the house.

If anything, no, I'm old, too. I'm just saying we should all, like, accept that, you know, what does 10 weeks mean at this point, you know? Every little week hurts more and more, brother. Not if you're pliant. I'm not. Yeah, no, you need to. get pliant. You need the Tom Brady method.

We just need to apply a lot of avocado, nine hours sleep. You need to drink like 400 gallons of water. $4,000 sleepware. I only wipe my ass with beats. That's all I do. Yeah, no, that's not enough. And not, not the, not the plant. Just your beats because they're trash.

I heard you mix tape. Wow. Thanks. Yeah, that's all we need to get through this podcast and through the rest of our lives. is to be very pliant, resistance bands, alkaline water, and avocados. That's all we need. Yeah, it's important to treat your body like a pool.

I have a man clean it with a hose and brushes. Sometimes there's a snake in there, and I don't know why. Uh-oh, everybody, nobody can touch me because someone shat on me. Everybody out, everybody out. You know, that's actually really good practice, if I have to be honest. I think that we're all going to get through this and stay a concussion and injury-free with happy thoughts and being very, very pliant. We're going to roll with it, even though it's week 10.

The impact of time might seem scary unless you're properly prepared for it. But fortunately, all of us are extremely flexible. So I think we're all flexible and pliant enough to use the TB12 method at transition. Using a slippery floor full of snake oil, slide right into this, which is the most frightening thing about this week, in addition to time moving very quickly, is that at 12 o'clock, brother, we got a Big Ten elimination match. Big Ten, elimination match.

Is Penn State coming fresh off of a loss to Ohio State? Guess who they got to fight just to stay alive in this thing. They got to fight Michigan State. Michigan State with a bump from the rock, no less. You got Dwayne Johnson and Mark D'Antonio's corner now after a phone went off blasting Moana at a presser. Mark D'Antonio catching those RTs from our future president. That's true.

And if you think about it, Michigan State very much the rock team and that they will sell it. If you beat them, right, it'll usually happen in this close dramatic fashion. Then they'll bounce back right off the mat to the next match. This is very scary, by the way. If I were coming off of a very close one-point loss where my team might be sort of shaken or demoralized by things, I know one team that functions on nothing but being underestimated,

being disrespected, causing a complete lack of morale in the other team. That'd be Michigan State. Also, Michigan State, like the Rock, only got about four moves, but they all look really painful. Well, and they also, they'll have, like, one big 10 game a year, will they just score like 38 points? And that's cheat day. That's when the Rock eats like 18 pancakes.

Michigan State scored 62, but they're averaging five. Cheat day, bro! Mark D'Antonio just housed eight pressed hot sandwiches in a row. It's important to have a smile and an entire pizza every now. I mean, statistically, there's no reason Michigan State should win this game. It's in East Lansing and is Michigan State. I don't have much more, like, Penn State's better, like, on every single metric. But I don't know.

It feels like, statistically, there's no reason Michigan State should win this game. We've been saying that for about six years now. Right. Let it ride. Yeah, I mean, Michigan State's defense is still very, very, very good. Like, Northwestern was the first time since the Notre Dame game that they'd allowed over five yards of play. so they're just they're back to their old smothering ways um that is kind of what ruined the end of the game that like the last quarter of the game for penn state against ohio state so the

blueprint is there and the blueprint is very painful it is this is not this shack is not insulated and no there is no plumbing i mean you you can you can stop pin state sayquan's going to break loose a couple times maxorily will break loose a couple times but i mean iowa showed it northwestern showed it you know if you're If you can be better than Iowa and Northwestern, you can beat Penn State. I feel confident that you will be able to tell who will win this game based on the weather. If it's sunny and just cool and not that bad, feel good about Penn State. The grayer and grimeier and crumbier it gets, that is nature's way of telling you that Michigan State is favored.

That's true of almost every Michigan State game. Michigan State just has to manage to not suffer because they're going to get, big play, so they just have to take the same approach. Really anyone takes against Penn State which is you can take a limb but I'm going to survive. In other words Michigan State football, tie a tourniquet. That's...

1208 hours. That's how we play football. Yeah, that's it. What is it? We're trapped between two rocks. Got to cut a limb off. Then we just got to make it out of this whole called the football schedule. Well, fellas, if we want to remain

second place in the Big Ten East, I'm going to need each of your ears All of them. Put them in the bucket. I mean, it's a great defense, and then there's an offense. And I don't, yeah, we've said, I hope anyone listening to this can tell our genuine affection for looking at Michigan State University's football program and going, I don't know how it stands, but damn it, that thing still survives.

My God, it's so hideous. I love it so much. On the flip side, you can watch Syracuse at Florida State at 1220, if that's a thing you'd like to watch. That will be painful in other ways. I'm going to watch it because I got the feeling, y'all. The feeling is that Eric Dungee and the Syracuse offense, brother, they're about to run all over you.

Yeah, you know things are bad in FSU Twitter when people are making Bud parody accounts. And the parody is not like, oh, I have like some hot knolls takes. It's just like, yeah, we're firing coaches. It's just straight potential news. That's all we got going on here. That's my bud parody. The good news is between those two games, Spencer will not have to watch Florida at Missouri.

I will. God, I said you don't have to. Why won't you free yourself of this? What is with this? Like, this is the most Catholic thing you do. is every week you show up for this thing that you don't want to be at that makes you feel bad about yourself

and that is an institution not showing significant signs of self-improvement despite large amounts of money pouring into it. This is your Catholicism. Congratulations. You just described me. Oh, God. Florida's going to grow a beard.

What do you think the last eight years have been? Beard slowed you down. I do think you would have respected Jim McElwain more if he had just decided to grow a full beard. That and that and if he had just, you know, admitted, like openly started like, I don't know, doing things to amuse the fans besides the offense on the sidelines, right? Like, here, I'm Red Panda. Watched me get up on this unicycle. Because then he could have said, I tried to do one thing to entertain people. watching one and I could have respected that you know set off fireworks close close magic that's what

people want these days close magic yeah like hold up a card for the crowd is this your card coach we can't see it pretty far away so so so you're saying maybe yeah that all right let's drag in I was also going to I was also going to suggest that you know uh I want to be the most joy I could have had and probably the best interaction I could have had at Florida football is as a fan in the first or second row when he takes my card out of my hand, right, and shows it to me again.

Like David Blaine, if I could be for once the street magician's mark in this and go, no. No way, dog. No. Well, the way it works is your card is a seven, but when Jim McElwain produces it, it's a three now. I saw him in about 10 seconds ago And I'm like, do it

He's holding the card in front of you the entire time Take it, Ryan, dunk it Thanks Michael Wayne will now vomit up 7 50s Don't we turn it into two points How? This does, we ask you our listeners For your boldest takes for the next month

Of college football And this does lead me to One of my favorites was from Andy at one dishwasher, which I assume is like the sequel to one headlight. He says, Florida continues their scoring streak in the most depressing manner possible. I think that is correct. It also made me realize that I think it was two years ago that Florida lost to Florida State and scored two points in the game.

I didn't realize until just until reading this tweet that that safety was what kept this scoring streak alive. Am I saying that Florida has a loss where they only score three or two points in them this season? Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's going to be amazing when it happens. The scoring streak is probably the most meaningful statistic or meaningless statistic in the game right now. And for that reason and that reason alone, Florida will continue to put up points that do not actually lead to victory. but do keep this stupid historical anecdote alive. If I can have an emotional admission at the moment. I'm already looking forward.

I'm like, oh, okay, cool. We get to hire somebody. It's great. I can't be depressed with what's on the field. That's nobody's fault who's there. I mean, that kind of is. But not really. Manager's gone.

That's done. Let's finish this over. Now it's shopping time. Ooh, shopping time. right come to take your coat my favorite thing the only threat that florida has really presented to any other program over the last seven eight years which is gonna take your man yeah this is this is the point where the marriage has fallen apart um and you have filed but the papers have not been like the divorce has not been finalized and so there's something freeing about like well you know what

i don't have to pick up my shoes now look at that well i can't get worse i can't get double divorced. So, like, try to be courteous, try to just get through this, but the standards, ah, they've dropped all the way to the bottom. One of the common threads in the hot takes were people either inventing scenarios that led to disaster, either for their team or for somebody else. They often focused around Georgia, Miami, the Big 12 in general, I would say. Wisconsin gets thrown in there. The one that is the most evil, and that I think at least two people sent us, but I first saw it from Hutch at Hutch and Go. Miami will beat Virginia Tech and Notre Dame, only to lose to both UVA and Pitt.

And y'all, I, the darkness that this envisions, the pain, the suffering, The angst, if Miami does in fact win, you know, beat Virginia Tech at 8 o'clock at home this week, which will probably bolt them up to, I don't know, number seven or so, if I had to guess in the playoff rankings. And then they turn around and they beat current number three, Notre Dame, which at that point, based a little bit depending on what's going on in the sport, they're probably in the top four at that point. If they're undefeated

and have those two wins, they're probably in the playoff as it stands through November 14th or whatever that is. And then if they turn around and lose the Virginia and Pitt, man, that's just,

then that's how you know that this world is destined to die. That'll probably be the first sign of that. Everything's been good so far. I mean, everything else has been fine. Yes. This did great. Yeah, yeah.

Don't worry. Yes, octopuses are storming our beaches for reasons that neither we nor they know. Don't worry about that. They're just excited about Miami football. They want to get in the stadium. That's all they're doing. And how are they going to get there?

Not in the ocean. They've got to get out. Let's give it a few years. I think the ocean. Be patient, Octopi. Yeah, little known fact. those were all proctipuses. They're all bros

and they were, that's why they're heading to the Miami game. They're like, yeah, yeah. It would be awesome. We're going to live afterwards. L.I.V., I think that's how you say it. Are these, sorry, are these octopuses in a frat? Yes, they're the first we've discovered. It's amazing. I have one, and it's, it's horrifying. It's very horrifying.

Because it's actually, I think it could happen, which is, it's from Big Ten Respector. The one. Just in case anybody wonders. At expert Browner. Bama, Georgia, Notre Dame, Clemson, and Ohio State, all sustained losses and undefeated champs, Wisconsin still get disrespected right out of the time. Wow. So he came in with Big Ten respecter and then applied the ultimate Big Ten disrespect. Disrespect.

Well, that's, he, this guy understands, because he understands respect, he understands what disrespect is. You know, you can't really comprehend one without the other. This is truly applying balance to the universe. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And once this happens, this person is more needed than ever. So this is just, this is like that shock doctrine stuff, you know, like, there's a catastrophe. and now I can seize control.

I'm trying to run through it here. Bama, Georgia, Notre Dame, Clemson, Ohio State all lose. For Notre Dame, Clemson, and Ohio State, they're two lost teams. So let's assume that they're not in the picture. Bama and Georgia would be one lost teams, but we're talking before the conference championships, so only one of them is getting in. So now I've got to come up with three other teams

that are leapfrogging undefeated Wisconsin to get into the playoff. Okay, we got a Pac-12 team that's still alive in Washington. Let's say they win out. Let's give them one spot. Big 12 has a couple of intriguing teams and a conference championship game, which may or may not help, but let's give them that. And then, yeah, I think UCF.

That rounds us out right there. I mean, so Wisconsin winning out, their best win would be. If Ohio State loses again, I mean, their best – Wisconsin's best win might be Michigan State. UCF's best wins at that point would be Memphis, Navy, USF, and maybe Memphis again. I think USF sounds a little bit better there. Yeah, yeah, go nights at that point. It's true.

And this is all setting up for a Wisconsin tradition, which is get a New Year's Day bowl or get your capital ones of the world, right? Get in that bowl game, go down, get yourself a spanking sunburn. Then, and only then, go sit on someone for, like, a 14-point win in a bowl game. That's it. No king shame here. No king. In the past week's bowl picks, I had Wisconsin UCF in the, I think, Peach Bowl, and I got the,

oh, man, why are you giving us the mid-major again? And it's like, don't y'all like playing those? A whole business model? I'm not trying to divert you from what works. Look at your schedule. Why do you like the mid-major so much? Barry Alvarez about that. I don't know.

I also like this bold statement from Run the Damn Bourbon at Will Hodges 1. Bobby Petrino leaves Louisville mid-season to coach the Chargers. Paranthases, again. Yeah, you know, it didn't work out the first time. And I think he recognizes that he made a mistake being the one to push for Ryan Leif as the draft pick there. you know he couldn't have known that it was going to go so poorly and in ryan leaf's defense maybe it just didn't help to have bobby petrino as a mentor at that tender young age but it's been a long time um i think bobby has learned from his mistakes and there's no reason why he

can't take this chargers team to new heights he can go to philip rivers and be like hey we're acc bros now so we have that going for us and also we're both sexually active it's not The important the details as to how that takes place. We just are. Hey, um, do, without looking it up, do either of you all know the NFL team Bobby has coached for? Well, wait, Bobby Petrino? Yeah, yeah. Boy.

I think he's still waiting on his first chance. Yeah, probably, maybe, maybe like a Bill's interim gig or something, but I can't think of it. I meant other than, other than, other than the obvious one. Oh, okay. I thought, I thought this was a Falcons riff. I meant to specify before the head coaching Yeah, he would be the Jaguar. Oh, yeah, he was what, like the QB and the OC? Yeah.

So he's already basically coached Florida. So come on down, Bobby. Jobs up. He's got ties to the area. I like that during coaching coaching search region when you're coming up with like the list of candidates. You can always say like, hmm, he's got ties to the area. With Bobby, he's got ties to every area, bro. Sure.

Planet roots. Yeah, Ludacris has a whole song about it. I would, by the way, the idea of Bobby Petrino becoming forward as head coach, there is one thing and one thing only that appeals to me about it. I can skip a step in the emotional arc and just begin disliking it. I can start that way. I don't have to sort of evolve to it. Here, let me ask you a very uncomfortable question just right out the bat.

Would you rather a Bobby Petrino or Lane Kiffin as the head coach? Thank you. Straight up. I did not hesitate or flinch or stuttered, straight up. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I don't want to talk about this anymore, and I'm sorry I brought it up in the first place. It scared you.

But yeah, it's a pretty, like, evenly spread schedule overall. You get to see Clemson, NC State, a game that went down to the wire last year. You get to see South Carolina, Georgia, which I bet Spencer has some feelings about. If I had to guess. Who do I? Brother versus brother. Who saw that coming? I would also, I would like to state that South Carolina and Georgia, for the record,

it is the brother versus brother match. It's also my favorite thing because I get to pull, one, for Will Mustchamp without actually being emotionally invested in the team. This is an interesting sensation for me. I'm still trying it on, too. I think South Carolina is built for the, this kind of game. It's going to be low scoring. It's going to have some random events

offensively. There's going to be some frustration and some tussling. There's going to be some unsportsman-like penalties. Not by Georgia. They're too smart for that. South Carolina, though. Going to charge in their head first. Hell yeah. We'll rough a holder. We'll rough

a holder twice. Let him really know we mean it. Fuck that, Alder. Get in his head. That's the most important person on the team right there. The holder. You know what? psychologically affect the holder. He's the fulcrum. Think about him as the fulcrum on which the whole team rests.

We knock him out. They fall apart. What's a sense of protection? The rules, right? That's what makes somebody feel secure. What if there are no rules? Yeah. If you hit the holder, guess what?

Everyone's vulnerable. Who holds the holder? What if every day was purged day? But if there was only one day when crime wasn't legal, and it's Christmas. Today ain't Christmas. You know what I got you for Christmas? Purge! Purge!

Yeah, that's going to be my favorite thing, you know? It should also be worth pointing out that I think, if I look, that there really is something that South Carolina brings to the table that not many other teams on Georgia's schedule bring, which is a quarterback who could make some trouble for you, okay? Not a whole lot. Let's not get back to, like, preseason over hype bentley all right he's coming along not it's not a miracle okay but i think

there are some things that that that he can do and that the south carolina offense saying this out loud for the record so everyone can laugh at me afterwards i think there's some things they can do that maybe other teams are sort of incapable of doing right i don't think that notre dame for instance it's a great running attack i think they kind of play right to some of george's strengths in a bad way for Notre Dame, not exactly the most agile passing attack, okay? Same for Mississippi State, right? Nick Fitzgerald's a good passer. I don't think he's capable of those sort of like game-breaking throws are making a whole

lot of stuff happen with his arm outside of like basic design stuff. Tennessee, Vandy, Missouri, I mean, they got theirs, but the defense really sort of invalidates anything the offense was going to do. And then Florida, Florida doesn't even play the position. It's just three running backs back there doing their best. right so yeah i think this is like this is fascinating in terms of avoiding the inevitable undefeated georgia season narrative yeah this is at least interesting right not saying they're going to win i'm just saying there's going to be some punches flying if you come down

to the mid south coliseum brother will mustam's going to put on the show it like i think over since will must champ has been a head coach i would bet he is among the leaders in unlikely wins. And I'm not saying upsets. I'm saying, you know, the Vilsi method of you, take all the stats from the game, dump them in a pile, and tell a computer, okay, you tell me which team won, and the computer says, ah, clearly this team, and you say, nope, surprise.

It was Florida or South Carolina. Like, Mustchamp is among, like, the experts at that, and vice versa. It should be pointed out. Like, the stats just don't matter in a Will Must Chant game. Like, the, um, what was it? uh the nc state win go back and look at that box score and tell me which team won yeah the hand the hand doesn't matter all that matters is is what happens when they get to the poker table right uh and and what will must champ does at poker table as he throws the cards down

flips the table and security arrives that's that's what's going to happen this game so hey what i'm saying entertainment this this game just bodes nothing but entertainment for the neutral observer. I got a two pair. What do you got, Will? I got Ace High and a lead pipe. Let's fucking go. I got my man Big Spurred behind me. You brought a chicken

to a knife fight. I brought a chicken to a knife fight. No, you brought a knife to a chicken. This is also, there is, the weirdest part of the schedule by far is seeing Bedlam on here. Like, it's,

Christmas creep is a real thing. I'm worried that this is the start of Bedlam creep. Every year we're going to be like, man, Bedlam's on October 12th. Man, we're playing Bedlam's in July? What the hell? How does Bethlehem get earlier every year? Goddamn marketers?

Bedlam in April? Come on. It's time for Bedlam in April. all. Bedlam is always for me the most misnamed rivalry, just historically. I don't mean recently. Right. Recently, the game's been pretty fun, right?

But historically, if you go back and look at it, when you're like, you can throw out the records it? No, you cannot. You can throw OSU's record. Yeah, you throw out Oklahoma. Because do not diminish the greatness of Mike Gundy and or Les Miles before him. Remember, Les Miles was.

coach in Oklahoma State, that happened. Do not diminish the good work that they have done by citing that this has always been a rival brief because it has not, the records in this are really lopsided until you get to the modern era. And until you get to Mike Gundy, really. Like, Les Miles, there's a little perk there, a little tick, but really, this doesn't get started until Mike Gundy comes on board, and then it actually becomes a competition. then, I think Oklahoma still comfortably ahead.

I also like that Bedlam, especially for the game this year, is just the phrase Blame D rearranged, because, yep, I feel like that's what's going to happen to whoever loses this game. Just going to be, oh, fucking defense, let us, God damn it! Why won't we fire Stoops? I hate him so much. Mike Stoops. Probably a bad sign that, can you name, OK?

Oklahoma State's defensive coordinator on the top of your head? Nope, sure can't. Glenn's been. Yeah, yeah. But most people can't because, you know, Big 12 defensive coordinator. Oh, Mike Stoops.

He's the definitive Big 12 defensive coordinator. He sets the standard and all the other defensive coordinators thanking for that. Also, off the top of your head, since I was so effusive and praising Mike Gundy in creating close games

and making this something competitive. Since the year, in his tenure. Okay, we'll just go Mike Gundy's tenure. How many games has he won against Oklahoma? Three or four? I think it's only two. Ryan is correct.

He has won twice. The game in 2011, which was a 44-10 blowout in Steelwooder, and then the 38-35 win in 2014. Other than that, Nass pretty comfortably, Oklahoma's. So Oklahoma State's best team ever and like a shock punt return touchdown

in like the last minute. Still, neither of these is the best Bedlam game ever because have you all heard about the 1954 Bedlam game? Enlightened me. So there's a... There's an author whose father was a bookie in New York and he alleges that mobsters threatened and paid off one of the cooks for the Oklahoma team

to put laxatives into a soup eaten by many of the starters. As a result, several starters got violently ill in the days before the game. So you're thinking, well, Oklahoma State won, right? Nope. Oh, you won 14-0, but they didn't cover the 20-point spread. So it worked out for everybody. I do think that would make you, if you could stand up, less desirable to tackle. Yeah.

If we're still ill, right? Like the coach comes in and it's like, all right, nobody's shower. I mean, this is disputed by the people who actually played in the game. They said that they don't, they don't recall this being in case. That said, very few people are easy to say, like, or eager to say like, oh, yeah, let me tell you about the time 50 years ago when I was just shitting myself, crazy. oh boy what a time that was that sounds like something Georgia fans would do though because it justifies their entire psyche

and reaction to like being ranked number one oh yeah well we're probably gonna shed ourselves again come see this list of all the times we've shat ourselves that time David Green had three varsity chili dogs on the bus and it was a hot day and he didn't buy that To be clear, he didn't buy them at the varsity. They were already on the bus. He just ate him.

Nobody knows how they got there. This does lead to the next hot take from Stephen Sproyle at Helicopter, P-E-T-R. Georgia's going to smoke everyone left on their schedule only to lose by 20 to Paul Johnson. Yeah, you know what? I wouldn't rule that out in any way, shape, or form. Will it matter? Maybe not. The Georgia Georgia Tech game is good for mattering

only in the sense of hate and like family acrimony but other than that it doesn't always sort of like definitively say who's going where so yeah I wouldn't rule that out

one bit I will I will rule that out that's not it's just not happening but if you watch Clemson against Georgia Tech if you have a defensive line Clemson could have played down a man and I still think they would have been fine they really would have because

Georgia Tech had people in their back field all day which is what happens when you just have better players than Georgia Tech it's just you can't scheme around that you just can't you know who probably doesn't have better players than Georgia Tech is Virginia

where head coach Bronco Menin Hall apparently said defending the option is a passion of mine or something like that. And oh, Paul Johnson heard that and said, well, playing three, four teams is a passion of mine. Which, you know, it's like, oh, ha, ha, ha, he's, he's joking.

Coach is kidding around. No, coach is not kidding around. Hey, man, it's important to find a relationship where you have complimentary interests. You don't have to like the same thing, but they do have to go together. And all I'm hearing here is buddy cop film. Sign them up right now. Which one is the like freewheeling youngster? Neither.

They are both, they are both too old for this shit. I think we know which one is showing up to, you know, showing up to work with the bottle of whiskey. Fair. It's Bronco, Bronco and PJ. Bollow and PJ, rumbling around being grumpy. I would like to tackle this one, which is from Luke Carlton.

at L.J.A. Carlton. I want to address this one because it touches on a couple of things, which are near and dear to our hearts. UCF misses the New Year's sixth bull bid as the ghost of Bob Diaco. Man, that'd be a really weird ghost. Handsome ghosts, though. I haven't checked with ghosts. Yeah, like Devonsawa.

We all know. I don't know. We'll discuss handsome ghosts, whether you want them around or not. Haunts them into losing to Yukon in the civil conflict next week. Okay. That's not happening. Just hovering over the shoulder like Obi-Wan.

Like Bob Diaco would be the least offensive ghost imaginable because he'd say, well, watch me affect things with my handsome powers. As I did in life, as the Yukon head coach. That doesn't really change anything. Ideally, if you want a ghost from Yukon, you want the ghost of Randy Edsel. He's not dead. He's just in Connecticut, right? You'd be giving Randy Edsel his own ghost, which I'm not above.

If you want that, like Randy Edsel, 2011, joining Randy Edsel 2017 over his shoulder in the most mundane display of supernatural power ever. That's like Mario Kart when you race your own ghost. You got Yukon on the field and also a ghost of Yukon attending the Fiesta Bowl at 8 and 5. That's not, go back to this. Point one, there is no world in which UCF loses to Yukon. It's not happening. It's just not anything that's going to. But you got to throw the records out in a rivalry game that one side entirely made up and nobody knows where the trophy is anymore.

That means Yukon has all the rivalry juice and UCF has none. That's right. How can UCF adequately prepare for a rivalry game when they don't even know it's a rivalry game? The ultimate. The ultimate rivalry game where. the trophy was in fact sort of just left on the field by the team that won it just discarded and when asked about it afterwards

like uh did somebody pick that up I would I would like to see one of the like long held rivalry trophies start going this way like if Michigan just picked one of its eight rivalry games and it's just like we don't care about that shit anymore that jug's stupid we're throwing it away fuck you Fuck your jug.

We just threw the jug off a bridge. PJ Fleck dives in after it. Thanks, PJ. You know, I'm a skin diver in my spare time. Of course you are. Yeah, we figured we kind of, you had that vibe to you. This also goes to a couple of other points to extend out this. I do not know whether you would want a handsome ghost if you had one to follow you all around, right?

Right. It'd be beguiling. I don't even think people who are single. Dudes have a lot of weird protocols and tactics when it comes to dating. I don't know if having the handsome ghost would help you, in fact, or just be a source of frustration, right? Like, I don't know. Maybe there's a lady who's like, sure, I'll be your wing girl, but I'd have to hang out

with the handsome ghost all night, and that's not actually as entertaining as everyone in the movies makes it out to be, because nobody can touch anybody, and maybe he's a handsome ghost, but a terrible conversationalist, which, I don't know, Bob Diaco, in general, if we're talking about Bob Diaco handsome ghost, maybe not the greatest conversationalist. Two, if it were just a generic handsome ghost, you know, maybe he's just obsessed with Pokemon or something, right? And I don't know, depending on your date, that might work. But overall, I think you'd rather have the good conversationalist ghost, because you're going to talk to.

Yeah. Bob Diaco ghost powers are basically, I can tell you if that vest looks nice with that dress shirt. Ooh, it does not. It makes you look fat. See, I want the spur your ghost Because he can just sit there And snap on everybody behind my back for me Right Who do you think wrote the blowjob Ghost scene and Ghostbusters?

If it was a terrible idea Then I think It's a Dan Aykroyd idea Because remember Dan Aykroyd wrote Nothing but trouble And also Did the Crystal Skull vodka commercial So if it's a bad idea

idea, and it's definitely Dan Aykroyd's. Yeah. Okay. Just wanted to clear that up. We have not talked about LSU Bama at all. I don't know if we should change that, or I don't know if we're like somehow not assisting Bama in their constant search

for, you know, media axes to grind and inspiration. And, you know, it's almost impressive at this point. I feel like Nick Sable can go into the grocery store. and be like, hey, you know, I noticed they've been putting more purples in the otter pops than reds. See how otter pops disrespecting us using LSU colors? They don't think Alabama's worth more otter pops. I think that's bullshit.

I think we need to go out there and show them. Also, this week, I'm sure you had Sabin saying, no, this ranking stuff, it just doesn't matter. Then you pop up at number two. Who the fuck puts up? Nobody puts us. Get out there and prove their ass is wrong. They think you're not worth a damn. They think you're not even good enough to be the best team in the SEC East.

How you like that shit? They think you're Florida. You sorry, sacks of shit. Yeah, I don't think there's a whole lot to discuss LSU. The spread is 21, and Bama's been doing just fine against these massive spreads so far. I mean, until we see something from Bama, like some actual trouble, some actual drama, I'm fine just simming their season. No, you know what?

I'm going to help Alabama here. I think LSU wins this game by 10. Boom! Yeah, shuts them down. What I really want to see is whatever Minka Fitzpatrick gets to do against all of those fly sweeps and those motion fakes, right, that LSU's offense is using this year under new coordinator, Matt Canada. Because Mika Fitzpatrick, there's footage out there.

You can find it on Twitter.com of Mika Fitzpatrick bodying offensive linemen. who outweigh him by a hundred pounds on blitzes, like straight up goes against her right guard or a left guard and dumps him on his ass. So what I want to see is what Mika Fitzpatrick does to somebody when they're sneaking around the edge on that fly sweep. Like, ooh, peekaboo! Yeah, it's not, that's going to shut that down.

Yeah, this sort of has the feel of Cirque de Soleil versus a bunch of MMA fighters. Who will win? It's one of those matches where, like, the Hardy Boys and all their friends. friends are playing Big Show. It takes nine of them to pin him, and that's not quite enough.

I don't. Oh, Big Show threw eight ladders at you somehow. He's very strong. Like, just tell me if you passed. Any more ladders. Alabama, just tell me if you pass more than 20 times in this game, and I'll tell you whether you're in trouble or not. Just advance that info for me, if you will, from the future.

Because you're not going to have to do that. If it's under 20, Alabama's won the game. And if it's over 20, I'm willing to go ahead and start wagering. But I don't think this is going to be a serious challenge for them. Before we get off of Alabama, you have to do an ad read related to the Crimson Tad. I do. I do. Now, remember, we're doing these ad reads because of our reader's generosity for Ryan.

Ryan spearheaded this effort. But an overall campaign to raise funds for those affected. by this hurricane season and several other natural calamities. We thank you all for your generosity. This is bordering on hate speech for me. Disagree. But I'm going to say it.

Because Carter made a substantial donation and therefore we make a substantial donation back. From Carter. Nothing causes me more joy than the nihilism Alabama football causes in Spencer. Yeah, cause it. So I'd like him to read the following. And I'm going to do it.

I, Spencer Hall, fill a deep, almost spiritual joy when I watched the Alabama Crimson Tide, crush the life out of opposing football teams. I disagree, but I've said it. Spencer, is that true? No. This is like when Rush Limbaugh pretended he was going to vote for Bill Clinton. I think being a Bama fan is kind of like being the only knight still alive in the Last Crusade, where he's just sort of like, you know he's got a TV set up in there.

He's like, oh, maybe this one's going to make it. Nope, slice to death. All right, well, guess I'm going to be lonely for another 12 years. Maybe the next one will. Nope, fell right through the damn floor. Well, I'm going to do this read from Dan. As a proud graduate of the College of William and Mary, I remember every now and then that Lou Holtz was our head football coach and led the then-Indians now tribe to a 5-and-6 record

and a 40 to 12 lost Toledo in the 1970 Tangerine Bowl. According to Wikipedia, a William and Mary player was named the defensive player of the game. Hell of the game, I'm sure. So I look this game up and it is a, you know, we get real worked up today about the college football playoff and can't, is it sort of valuing the right things? Are we, you know, what about this team? Their loss is worse than this other team's lost. This team's resume is garbage. This team's overrated.

Blabity, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, I get that we do that. We want to continually test this machine and make sure that it's getting the result. that we want. I think it's important to remember exactly how fucked college football was at one point, and we're going to use the 1970 Tangerine Bowl as an example. This pitted two teams, which we've already named, Toledo, which was 10 and 0, and ranked number 15 in the country, against a 5-and-5 William and Mary team that had only beaten Ohio

Wesleyan, VMI, Connecticut, Davidson, and Richmond. These two teams were chosen to play each other in a postseason contest, and yeah, the better team killed the worst team. We at least don't have that anymore. It's very hard to find extremely lopsided bullshit like this in bowl season anymore. So we have that to be thankful for, if nothing else. Lots of things about college football are still. pretty fucked but um but this was a good this was a good change i think i think the closest was

like those years when you know boise state would lose one bullshit game and go from like the fiesta bowl down to the like sub vegas bowl just like that but still at least you're not playing a five and five future fcs team right it's also important to remember that in 1970 um three teams had a national championship claim. A real thing that happened not that long ago. Awesome. Extremely good shit.

Yeah. By the way, like this is also, I think there is one bit of truth here when somebody complains about the system is because it's still stupid. We still decide this in a very stupid fashion. There's just nobody in charge of the sport.

But we've moved to it, like admit that we move to a less stupid point. Right? and that were perhaps on the way to an even less stupid point and gradually getting further and further into something that might be considered barely acceptable. Yeah, I mean, Nebraska has a national title this year, the most legit or the best claim to a national title this year,

not because they won at the end of the year, which they did. They beat LSU 1712 in the Orange Bowl, but because Ohio State lost to Stanford and the Rose Bowl, Bowl. They were number two. And Texas lost to Notre Dame 2411 in the Cotton Bowl. Like, man, this system used to be amazingly dumb. Amazingly dumb. And now it's just like pretty dumb. Yeah. And let's be proud of that. We'll have it all the way up to smart just in time for football to disappear. Great, great, great. I have a read from Anon the Youngie. It looks like it might be supposed to be younger.

but there's no more. No, that's, yeah, that's how it was given to me. Anande Yung. Please discuss Sean Snyder, Bill Snyder's son, and K-State Special Team's coach, plus an All-American punter. Going to a Nebraska. Okay, you said All-American punter, so done. But it goes on, it goes on.

Going to Nebraska to replace Riley. Bill thinks Sean has what it takes to be a head coach and what it takes to win at a school with limited resources. Ouch, Nebraska. Don't forget Bill Snyder's big background, so Sean would obviously know how to coach in the B-1G. um yeah uh bill snider has you know came from iowa sean also came from iowa sean was played for one year at iowa before transferring along with his pops to kansas state where he has been almost

literally ever since um took a year off then he came back as a g a and he's been an assistant ever since so like nebraska's coaching search if it were to happen which not you know not guaranteed that it won't and it feels like a like oh man what if you miss on scott Frost, you know, what if you don't get rid of a nice, nice mic and take a swing at the guy who won a national title as another of those split national titles as a quarterback at your school when he happens to be the top mid-major candidate this year? The thing about that is Scott Frost, as we know, is pretty high on Florida's list as he should be, and if Florida offers you and your home, you know, your mama's calling calls for you, uh, you'd probably be

smart to take the Florida job. You got a better chance of winning. You're going to make more money, at least in the short term. And from what we know about Frost, not that we know in person or anything, not the most sentimental, emotional man on earth. So, you know, the Nebraska tie, sounds good, feels good, but I don't really know if it's that much of a deal breaker. So if he's off the table, then what do you do? You know, Craig Ball, got a little bit of bad blood there. I don't know who else in that, you know, in the Great Plains Corridor that is on the up and up, you know, that honestly would be that much better than Sean Snyder once you really think about it. And, I mean, you'd take Kansas State's results over the past decade or so, right?

I think the most amazing thing would be you think, in your head, you think, okay, we're going to hire an active coach's son. So he's probably somebody like still young, hungry. Sean Snyder's 48 years old. He's not a young dude. Well, no, he's relative, though. If you base it on his dad, he's got another 40 years of productive coaching. No, you're right.

I understand that time exists on a different scale for the Snyder family. I do, I am curious, does this mean we would have to change the name of Kansas State Stadium to Bill Snyder family except Sean? most of Bill Snyder family Memorial Stadium I left out Matt Campbell in that in that list he would probably be at the top of a non-frost Nebraska list man can I can I ask you a really really sad question is moving from Iowa State to Nebraska at this point much more than a slightly above lateral move

but you're going to make more money good yeah You can't have more people yelling at you. That's fun. Yeah. You sure a shit better win more games. I'm not saying that you have to stay at Iowa State. Is this the gap in traffic you really want to try to make it through?

Or do you just let that pass and try the next one? So you get to play, you know, Purdue. Well, all the other teams in the Big Ten West have been better than Nebraska. You get to play Purdue. Of course, that's the team you usually use, lose to. Yeah, just don't do it. Stay out of there. Toledo was consistently really good under Matt Campbell. So, but Iowa State, you've already done one miracle.

How far you want to press your luck? I know you think you're a coach and you think you could be great anywhere. But just asking. Yeah, so go with Sean Schneider, is what we're saying. Yeah, problem solved. There's only one other game I think we need to talk about. And it's on so late. Why do you hate us?

Hell yes. Why do you hate us West Coast? It's not even on late for a Pac-12 game. It's on super late for the late Pac-12 game because you'd go, oh, well, what time you kick it, 10-30? No, 10-45, bitch. A little bit later. I mean, and yes, this pretty much is for the Pack-12 South.

Like, they're both projected to win out after this. I think the toughest game on either their schedules after this is like, you know, Utah and Arizona State. could could either one of those teams mess up either one of these teams scheduled yeah well yeah i'm saying if if if pack 12 madness doesn't strike because you know when does it not strike this would be the division title game but i i'm going to root for arizona for the following reason because of this bold prediction bold take from andruthene at andrthine Washington makes it back to the Pac-12 title game

only to have Khalil Tate run for 420 yards while passing for 420 yards and somehow just scoring four touchdowns. I like this. I like this mostly because there will be, not a ton, but there will be some national media members. It'll be like, who is this, Khalil, who? Interesting.

Was this his first start? I assume it was. Yeah, then you'd see Arizona in the, well, not the road. Rose Bowl because it'd be a playoff game in the Fiesta Bowl or whatever and you'd have NFL types parachuting in like this kid done for 900 yards I just just doesn't look like he's ever looks like a wide receiver just doesn't just doesn't just doesn't just doesn't just doesn't just doesn't see how we can fit in our system I just don't uh we're gonna resign Blake Bortals real quick all right cool break