Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 7.41: Unsourced Coaching Hiring and Firing Rumors Ahoy!

Episode Date: November 16, 2017

Butch Jones to Oregon State! Mark Richt to the NFL! D.J. Durkin to Tennessee! Bo Pelini to Tennessee! Jon Gruden to the endcap beer display at the grocery store! Jimbo Fisher to Arkansas State! Houston Nutt to Arkansas...as AD, Coach, and starting QB! None of these rumors have any backing or logic to them, but that has never stopped us before so it won't matter now, you fools! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. In case you've been waiting for a breather in this intense, you know, 12th week of the college football season of 2017, well, you get one. Because this podcast, which nominally discusses college football, we're kind of going to do that tonight. But we'll be honest. If there's a week that you might want to, I don't know, do some light stretching. If you want to get some rolfing done, get massaged until you're bruised and possibly suffering internal bleeding.

If you want to do any of the sort of various cockamaney recovery things, if you want to practice self-care, right? This is a good week to do that because it's not the most impressive week coming up, is it, gentlemen? Not the most. No, not the most. It is national cupcake week in the SEC and ACC. um whereas the mighty mighty impressive big ten is playing power five teams such as illinois rutgers maryland need i go on they and you know what they do this even though exams are looming wow that's right what do you do cc do you even have exams probably for gonorrhea you know the cc gets shit on for the easy scheduling during uh cc socon challenge week look

at the Florida gators taking on what is it a seven and three UAB they're taking on a team from Alabama that state has two of the top six teams right now alligators taking on dragons bro they're going to lose well that's the part that's the part that it actually isn't a fantastical creature right is the very real loss that florida could suffer by losing to UAB and you want to you want to say it it can't or won't happen oh worse has happened friend Worse has happened than losing to this pretty good UABT when you're just a sort of derelict shell of a program floating out there. Just, if you will, waiting for just the right dragon to come by and incinerate you on the ground. That's where Florida is right now.

It's rough because you're comparing, hey, Power 5 school in a talent-rich state that has had, that has a ton of money and resources and can point to two recent national championships. how are you doing versus school that literally didn't have football last year okay but we always talk about the power of rest and recovery and recuperation and all that's very important to take care of your body when was the last time florida took a season off this season it's 2014 right this this is the season though to no i saw i saw him play football this year i saw it i saw it no you're right uab went into the lazarus pit rosal gould it back and now so so you know what this the results of this game are invalid.

So this makes Florida Bain. Yeah, oh, very much so. Very much so. This makes Florida like one of Bain's cronies. Well, no, I guess Bama's Bain, which, okay, that's super on brand, because they're the ones who put you a Batman in the Lazarus Pit. That's true. Also, very, very Bainlike in that their big move is, I will pick you up, and then I

will drop you on my knee. and then I will pick you up again. Is there any variety to this? No, I will continue smashing you. Sure, and UAB, just like Batman, incredibly wealthy. Also, what happens at the beginning of that movie when Bain discovers he has too many men on the plane? Well, one of you's got to go.

That's true. That's over-signing. That's what that is. Farewell, Steve Sarkisian. Steve Sarkisian. scholarship limits I would give anything to hear him stay Steve

so this week the In your desperation you turned to a man you didn't understand sock So this week is not the best week And after last week

You know Mayhem week that we just knew It was going to be very good And boy did it deliver um this is a light week but i think it's being underrated undersold i think it's getting a little too much hate yes there's only one rank versus rank game and yes that's stretching the definition because michigan is just barely ranked at number 24 but once you factor in that this is also fcs rivalry weekend you get a little nc central north carolina a and t you get a little famu

Bethune Cookman. You get Harvard Yale. And my favorite part about that is it's on CNBC, which, yes, perfect. Fine. That is where I turn for my Harvard Yale football. You get South Dakota State, South Dakota. You get the Northern Arizona Lumberjacks versus the motherfucking southern Utah Thunderbirds for the big sky title. Now you add all that in. And now you've got a, you know, a fuller look, not to mention Monmouth, Kennesaw State for the Big South title. You add all that in. And you got to add all that in. And you got to add all that in. And you got a, you got a fuller look, you know, a fuller look, not to mention Monmouth Kennesaw State for the Big South title. You add all that title. You add all that in. You got you got a nice full at least early and middle slot is is harbord yale going to have a stock ticker on the bottom instead of like other scores i close neke future is interesting it's on it's on cnbc and ivy league network dot com they got their own and it's like a whole fucking world like hey hey you know what go check to see if you have ivy league network or pack 12 network i bet i bet it's a close race i bet it's a real close race i mean this one is streaming like they'll they give you a taste for free and you got to pay for the i don't know but i mean this week is better than it looks like let me just run through we're only going to talk about we've only planned to talk about michigan

wisconsin and death but i just want to run through the few games that'd be going at the same time virginia miami that could be tough for miami they have struggled with first teams yeah listen we've i called this that it's going to be like 1916 yeah bold bold will virgin Virginia, bowl eligible Virginia, sir. If you can struggle with UNC, you can struggle with anybody. That's true. UNC. would agree with that. Also, consider how delicious it's going to be for Notre Dame fans to watch UVA, like, go toothed and nail with Miami.

What if, oh, my God, in heaven, what if Miami goes, you know, goes 15 and O squeaking past every team by three points, and the only FBS team they blew out was Notre Dame. That's exactly how this is going to work. I guess they also, they also beat Toledo and Virginia Tech comfortably, I know. TCU and Texas Tech TCU on the road. TCU's got a lot to play for here. And this is, once again, for the first time in decades, a trophy game. They're playing for the saddle, folks. Okay?

All right, you're perking up now. UCF on the road at Temple, pretty important game, kind of inconsequential, because UCF just needs to win that conference and they go to the They go to the kids table bowl. But still, Temple's much improved over the first month of the season when they were, like, wet ass. Santha just, like, slightly wet ass. They've dabbed it up a little bit. Mississippi State going on the road to finish off Bert.

We like Bert, but. But he's gone. Hey, hey, hold on. Disagree. Disagree. There's no one there to fire him, all right? That's how this works. Once the NFL fired Jerry Jones,

Burt's gone, okay? Because Jerry's fallback job is Arkansas A.D. Come on. Are you just keeping Brett Bielman, Arkansas, be a squatter's rights? Yeah, essentially. I'm the president of the school. So you're all fired, not me, actually.

I've been living here openly, and no one said anything, therefore I have rights. I exercise them. I'm the only person in the state. haven't seen anyone else so uh we're renaming the state burton saw hope you're okay to go the free state of brittsylvania you also got all right burtowa it's burtowa i don't even want to look up the over under for this one smu at memphis who you got a 120 point nooner coming at you

okay i and that's great the smu memphis is sort of like the battle of coaches that if they're smart won't take the Tennessee job exactly we'll see who's not that right look at this you got A&M's future coach versus Tennessee's future coach all right uh Texas met's Virginia pit Virginia tech I mean that it'll be dumb it should be a rivalry someday it'll be done Fresno State Wyoming that's local importance look how did look how far you're digging look how far you're digging Fresno Wyoming that's a pretty good game come on hey oh right hey hey you're sleeping on you're sleeping on future NFL number one

draft pick Josh Allen he might not even play he's totally I didn't say I didn't say that he would

or wouldn't play I said that he would be drafted first in the NFL that's like saying he's not that talented

I'm like you know you might have valid points he didn't produce in college that's barely like a correlation

for anything in the NFL that's correct that's correct just saying there'll be a number one draft pick because he's tall and his name is Josh right the rest of the day is well I'll admit

it's below average I just want to put on for this noon group because nah this is a legit noon group there from there we're counting on upsets I don't think you're I don't think you're like the only one that I'm totally like you're not making this up SMU Memphis is a legit heater that's a heater it's on at noon you should watch it because that's gonna be like seriously 80 points minimum. I mean, Memphis basically has, Memphis is basically Billy Joe Shaver, right? He's like, I got 42 bullets. Where you want him?

Tell me, where you want him? Because I'm going to put 42 up. Do you want them in the third quarter? Do you want them in the fourth? Okay, then, okay. The rest of this is Jason just being like, you know, the other lunchable flavors, you really got taco luncheables. Yeah, it's cold beef in a vacuum sealed package, but give it a try.

Yeah, pizza lunchables, I mean, sure, it's just ketchup and reconstituted cheese served on a piece of pita bread, but, you know, you nuke it just the right way, and that's a heater right? No, come on, stop it. Stop it. We have one, we have one meat and cheese lunchable. It's Wisconsin, Michigan. We're going to choke that down. That is the cheese and cheese luncheable. Okay.

I'm sorry. We take the crunchy cheese and you put the cheese on top, and then you put the squishy cheese in. between those two and you put the cheese sauce on it's a grilled cheese sandwich there's no bread yeah i didn't say there was it's called grilled cheese and the the high sea no it's high cheese i'm abstaining from this portion of the conversation so basically what we're doing is we ain't going to preview this whole saturday um we're going to cut it off around three o'clock which michigan wisconsin if that that'll probably end around 2.45 eastern that's about a two and a half hour game. So, I mean, after that, yes, you'll watch all day. You know, that's fine, good

and excellent, but we ain't going to preview all this shit. Yeah. I kind of wish one, like, I hope Longhorn Network just as like, you know what? Fuck it. We're showing Texas USC. Don't care. We're showing that national championship game. Yeah, it's on a Saturday. Yeah, they're live games happening. We'll go up against them. Yeah, we're in a game right now. We're down by 30. So? So, let's go over to Vince Young. Here you got it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's going to be, I think there's the potential for real hilarity, like, on this schedule. We don't have to review the whole thing and really shouldn't. We just reviewed it. We're done. We don't have anything. Why are we even belaboring this? We do have a side activity today. We asked the listeners for hot coaching takes, which we got that as our secondary content plan as soon as this schedule runs dry.

And we asked for this before the Arkansas news broke, correct? Yes. Like minutes before. So in a way, Arkansas was sort of like, hey, I got one. So thank you for listening to the shutdown forecast and following us on Twitter. A news dump? I think so. Like Arkansas thought like, oh, they'll think this is just a joke.

Oh, this shit will be hilarious. Yeah, Jeff Long now only has one job, and it's a college football playoff selector. Man, the quality in the rankings is about the sore now that he's got all this free time. Well. Ah, we have realized that Clemson actually did lose a game. Unfortunately, it does make you worry that he's going to unfairly. penalize Arkansas. So, you know.

It turns out that all teams in the SEC West played weak schedules because they had to play Arkansas. I'm going to miss that with Jeff Long. I'm going to miss him coming on and we're like, that dude looks like a big old nerd, but you know what? I'm going to reserve judgment.

And they opens his mouth. He's like, well, I think the thing. They're like, big old nerd! The difference between the T.I. 85 and the T.86 is actually quite pronounced depending on your level of comfort with the sort function which I will explain as follows

T-I-86 has not played anyone of note I would when we when we by the way when we triggered this right like when we triggered this this news dump yeah right

and we did it you're welcome when you look at that by the way you know how everyone this is my like when somebody when somebody goes and tries to say well this person's like really good for this job right we have all sorts of like instant ideas for florida right sure like if i'm like okay who's who's gonna be who's gonna be who's gonna be florida's coach right yeah there's there's at least one auto like there's one google auto complete for nebrosec it's like Scott Frost it's it's just why wouldn't it be Scott Frost and for Florida I guess at this

point it's Chip Kelly but maybe it was Dan Mullen at or Scott or Scott Frost right and at Tennessee it's John Gruden but yeah but I think I know where you're going with this please continue right if I say Arkansas there's no answer no there's never an answer it's no you got Tommy Tuberville come on come on all Like, this is it. Everywhere else, there's... The SEC West is not trivial pursuit. You can't just be like, well, I was going, all right, one more piece of my pie.

Just got to make my way over to Texas A&M. They expanded the game since I was last here, but I think I can handle it. No, he's an Arkansas native. Mama's calling. That's all people do, right? They just go, well, he's from Arkansas. That's all, like, it's not like, well, he's connected to the school, or he coached there, or played there. like Arkansas just has to like

And it's on that basis that I can tell you That Spencer Hall is getting serious consideration at Tennessee Yeah you know At Vandy right Andy would be closer Well I mean if that job comes up Absolutely baby boys being called home Would Middle Tennessee be even closer?

There'll be a bidding war Spencer would take the Memphis job though Oh man that's that's the prime job in the state for me is Memphis God, the things that Outside of your Recruiting ties The things that would do to your body Oh listen

You want to know the reason I can go across the river And get away from Stadies That's why Smart It's like you It's like hiding behind a A lamp post

And your wanted stars go down Exactly that's it You paint your car And the feds can't find you Oh he's inside the pyramid That's outside of our jurisdiction He's in ancient Egypt now I think my favorite

thing about all the coaches who came out of Arkansas is like Charlie Strong does he want to go back I doubt it Tuberville does he want to go back sure doesn't seem like it Gus does he want to go well

well probably look but now he's got this whole situation where he might make the fucking playoff at this job he's stuck at I mean he was the guy he was the guy who everybody's like I don't know man that might be a good fit with Arkansas since it's not working out with Auburn

wait wait I actually I guess it is Do what now? Shit. We've done this. We've done this with like, what, four coaches, maybe five coaches in the SEC alone this year and gone, well, man, they're done. Yeah, they're totally, totally. They're fried. They're fired.

Wait, no, I'm sorry. They're going to win the national title. Okay, no, wait, they're going to, all right, they're back on the hot. No, cool. Yep, he's actually gone. Yeah, no, he got fired. That's cool. That was the deal with McIlwain.

like two weeks before it was like yeah I don't know he's probably earned the right for a fourth year and he's dead he's gone it was literally all good just a week ago that's crazy and it's gone the other direction too there's literally no proper

time to fire anyone it's just there's no one ever gets it completely like Tennessee Tennessee waited until Mazoo stacked 50 on him and that's evidently the point where they were like hmm no this is like like like even Tennessee

It was kind of like, okay, we've given up on him, but, you know, what are we going to do? Send Brady Hook out there? What's the point in that? And then it was at some point, it's just like, all right, I can't even watch this. I mean, you've definitely, listen, you've dealt with a government document before. Like, Spencer, you've had to get your passport renewed, right? Correct. And you can't just, like, make that happen overnight.

It takes time. You don't know exactly when you're going to get it back. You can expedite it. Arguably, they may be fired him a year ago, and this is just as long as it took for the state to process it. Okay. That's all I'm saying. And the state of Tennessee, too, man, you're going to have to, you're going to have to pay a little extra to get it done. I know, I, you know, I know we're going to talk about our, our listeners' suggestions here, but I just want to think, you know, I want everybody to think about, for, for this Arkansas hire, which technically, yes, is not pending because Bright Baylamist still has a job.

You think about, okay, let's bring somebody associated with the program. that people have incredibly positive feelings about. Let's get somebody who maybe has had experience at other programs as well within college football that's just not just Arkansas related. You want somebody who maybe has a little bit of pro experience, not too much. You don't want somebody who people think of and think like, oh, that's an NFL guy. And then you want somebody who is an Arkansas, you know, is an Arkansas. him. Ryan Mallet, man. He's right there. Go get him. 29 years young. Ready.

Fuck summer mallet. The decade of Mallet. It's here. All right? I mean, just John, you know, John L. Smith was on a nine-month deal, right? Or an eight-month deal. So it's not like it'd be the worst thing you've ever done. Boy, once Ryan Mallet walks into those living rooms and starts flashing that Super Bowl room, ring. I don't know. What team is he on? Sure. Probably got one. I mean, yeah, he was inactive for every postseason game of the 2011 Super Bowl. But you know what? He probably has a ring still. He played for the Texans briefly. He plays for the Ravens now. Once he walks in flashing Joe Flacco's Super Bowl ring, those recruits, they'll be lining up. I think that's my favorite

thing about the NFL coach thing. Like, no one learned from the, the, the, Charlie Weiss experience. You still see that once he walks in there and says, I know Bill Belichick, those recruits are just going to shit themselves. Like, everyone is still used, it's 10 years now, and everyone's still using the Charlie Weiss argument. But no one learns anything. That's fine.

That's fine. They also don't do the thing where they're like, man, he was in the NFL. Yeah, with who? Who was he? He coached the Dolphins. Cam Cameron's a good man, you son of a bitch. Yeah, Saban coach the Dolphins. Diddy?

Diddy? Did he? Did he? All right, let's do some reader, bold coaching projections. You all want to start with it? Jason, you want to start with one? Yeah, I like this one from our friend Bunky Perkins because I'm pretty sure. Literal friend of the program.

Yeah, that was actually is, what was the old blog? was named that right yeah yeah so i'm pretty sure this one came out before the jeff long news like seconds before i actually i could run back the timeline on it and that's too much work for this podcast come on now no i'll give me just one second yes oh my god it was nine minutes before the news just where you hear this okay so arkansas insider bunkey perkins so at this exact moment jeff long was still arkansas's a d okay or or was finding out that he was 10.9 a.m. This is when Bunky broke the news that Jeff Long was out, okay?

109 a.m. Eastern Time. Arkansas fires Bilema, gets rejected by Gus, Tuberville, and Jimmy Johnson. Fires Jeff Long as AD turns to one man to run both. The only man crazy enough for the job in the first place. And then the gif of Houston, you know the one where he's looking back and forth and laughing and there's a mouse cursor over his face. That mouse cursor existed in the video. That wasn't added.

That was there. Yeah, whoever made this giff a billion years ago, they gift their own cursor, which is perfect. Seven minutes after this tweet by Bunky comes the first report that Jeff Long is out as Arkansas AD. Y'all need to hang out in our mentions. That's where news is getting broke. I mean, we got a few hundred replies to this tweet.

One of them was accurate. It's up to you. It's up to you to separate the wheat from the chaff. so to speak. But anyway, yeah, Houston Nut, as, you know, in charge of all of Arkansas, Houston Nut, y'all had a lot of Houston Nut to Everywhere takes, which that's fair. That is fair. That's more than fair. Let's go ahead and give him this job, which is every job at Arkansas. That's fine. I mean, yeah, listen, in his experience as an athlete at Arkansas, he played on the basketball team. He got demoted to a bench roll once they hired Lou Holtz, and he brought in an

option offense that didn't need using that special skills. And yeah, he transferred after that, but that's because he wasn't needed, and now he is again. So what I'm saying is maybe he has eligibility left, too. Player, coach, athletic director, all three. cheerleader mascot marketing director health inspector English professor

marital counselor parking attendant why would a university at Arkansas for when Mr. and Mrs. Hogg get married listen Arkansas definitely could have used a marital counselor all right

oh my my my That's true. That's true. I wasn't thinking far enough back. Did I, let me give you another one. I want to do two at once here. Okay. That are both, I think, in a dystopian world, definitely not like ours, are both entirely possible. Mike Leach to Arkansas, where his first move is to play all his home games in Little Rock, since it's the loudest place he's ever played. I want you to get two or three. three missteps, blown opportunities, bad negotiations, and damned hopes down the road

and tell me that a new panicked AD and or temporary AD with the Board of Trustees doesn't look around, look at the history of Arkansas football, look at the situation that Mike Leach has got, whose AD just left, right, at Washington State and doesn't at least make a shot at Mike Leach. I'm talking three or four steps down the road. When a couple things have gone sour, when a couple of really stupid ideas have gone way too far. Right? Like someone on the board's like, hey, I know Barry Switzer. And everyone's like, yeah, it's a great idea, Steve.

And they, like, 10 minutes later, they're like, shit, did he actually recommend Barry Switzer? Oh, God. Barry said he's never heard of us. He's never heard of the state of Arkansas. I was just thinking Bob Stubes for some reason, you know? Barry Switzer said our whole state can wipe its ass with so on and so forth. Plus, this puts him closer to Lubbock, where he can continue to just lob grenades. I was going to say, Leach ranting and Raven about, you know, government and all that

that probably enhances his appeal in a state like Arkansas. Exactly. They're like, government's terrible. Yeah, who pays for your, who pays for that football team? Shh, shh, shh. The Lord. 70% of your state budget. The Lord pays for that football team.

team, okay? The Lord. Tyson frozen chicken pays for this. Jerry Jones. Lord Jerry. That's his name in Arkansas. But like that one, that one could totally happen. Like, I don't think that's, I don't think that's crazy, actually.

Right? I also don't think this one is crazy. Okay. And I'm telling you, it's a nightmare. Okay. It's a nightmare scenario. But here we go. out on Chip Kelly throws money at Cliff Kingsbury in a panic Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Ha ha ha ha He'd look good With a nice A nice humid sweaty sheen on him though Like a desperate Cliff Kingsbury in order to win over Fan favor disrobes Yeah

Distracts the crowd From the action on the field by removing his pants. I don't get it. My wife just loves the guy. Honey, you what? You want to go to the spring game with me? Well, okay, let's go.

I don't get it. Cliff's so mad about this. He's like, no, no, I'm more than, I'm more than just a beautiful body and a handsome face. Sure, Cliff. Keep talking. But why male models?

I like my favorite thing about the um when he first got there and like he was putting up with though he looks like ryan gosling stuff is like every time he felt compelled to like i'm can't i please just do an interview or something where i can just really talk about football like there was like a you know he's on the the people magazine you know page hey he's no blake shelton come on now that's true he doesn't have the thickness of a of a of a blake shelton he doesn't he doesn't look like he could repair your you know your gutters quite like blake shelton which choice was that what the fuck kind of choice was that

Blake Shelton I can I can tell you how that happened because people people like were so short on this shit they were so short they were like eight hours from deadline they're like dang who knows an agent I'm called an agent Blake Shelton's agent's like watch this and you know three hours later Blake Shelton's the sexiest fan alive I've been using all photos.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Think about it this way. Like, People magazine could not be less important in 2017. And if they had just been like, oh, it's Ryan Gosling. Oh, it's a Hemsworth. Oh, it's someone's like, people would have just been like, yep, don't care. But they did the, like, this is the ultimate clickbait. They're like, oh, it's your neighbor's dad.

Do it for the memes. He's the sexiest man alive. Think about what people is saying. People are saying of all the men alive, this is the one who the most people want his dick. A guy who's been in a fucking a fucking Domino's pizza commercial

is the sexiest man alive. He looks like a Domino's pizza. Looks like a fucking Domino's pizza. So like, so, okay, so this got announced like yesterday, whatever. What if? All right. So this magazine the date, it hits,

its newsstands isn't always the day you find out about it. So let's say it drops, I don't know, Thursday or whatever, okay, which is also the day this podcast comes out. All men die before it hits newsstands except for Blake Shelton, okay? And some ugly guys. Like, you know, he's not an ugly guy. So like Blake Shelton and all the other thick dads are still alive. And he's just, you know, he's the cutest thick dad.

But everyone else is dead. So it is at that point accurate. And if you're listening to the podcast, that means you are now. officially less attractive than Blake Shelton because everyone else is dead. Blake Shelton looks like you put a Stoops brother through an Instagram filter. That's all he looks like. Yeah, he does. He looks like the Stoops brother that the Arkansas trustee in our situation mentioned,

and everyone else thought he was talking about Bob, right? He's like, yeah, yeah, man, you know, we'll just go with like, you know, Randy Stoops. Yeah, Randy Stubes. And they'll be like, oh, yeah, Randy, that's, you know, That's that guy who coached Kentucky. Yeah, he's done a good job there. They're like, no, that's Mark. You know who we might ought to hire for a head football?

That's sexy. That's sexy stoops. That, uh, we ought to hire Blake Shelton. Are you thinking of Blake Anderson? No, the sexy man. No, the sex, you know, the sex pot. The one who's exude sexuality. The one who makes you all tingly.

The one who's got to do all sorts of cool shit to your nipples. No, the Husky jeans pizza guy. guy who's very sexy. I still won't believe that Blake Shelton is anything but like a breed of rabbit. Blake Shelton absolutely wears a Henley while he fucks. Absolutely. I think you just really personally insulted a good 27% of our list of the shots. These guys are like, what's wrong with that?

I mean, apparently nothing, apparently that's what's in right now. So, y'all live it up, keep it going. You must be finding success with that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't touch the buttons. Susan? Susan, not touch the buttons. It's about process, not results, so keep going. We're going to pork, we're going to porky pig this until you come. I will just,

I will just state for the record I sweat sitting still in a Henley at 40 degrees This sounds like the worst idea ever We have to move on Okay This prediction comes from Alex Johnson At Alexander Johnson on Twitter the Brown's hire Mark Ricked.

We already know, listen, we already know that Miami is a pipeline to Cleveland and then eventually a pipe and Cleveland is a pipeline to UNC, which is a pipeline to the NCAA, which is a pipeline to FIU. So it's a weird circle, but it is, it does work.

Man, if Mark Rift takes the Cleveland job and just leaves Miami be like, well, it was a good year. I hope you all had fun. I got to go now, forever. See you later. Restored my alma mater to greatness, and now I'm going to go spread the good news through a downtrodden foreign land

where they haven't heard much good news in a thousand years or so. I mean, you see how Mark Rick just looks like. The deeper his tan looks, the more genuinely at his heart content, He looks to me, right? Sure. Yeah, like, he's the kind of guy who, I think, needs a good eight to nine layers of tan before I think he has had his most beatific. And he's pretty beatific anyway, right? It's a very spiritual man.

It's very calm. Doesn't really raise his voice a whole lot, right? Yeah, and that's the key skill. Like, to be the coach of the Cleveland Browns, you don't need to be good because the Browns will never be good. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can change. about that particular situation. It is the Kobayashi-Maru of the NFL.

So what you do instead is you just have to be, you have to have the placidity to look on and say, well, we threw another pick-sex. I guess we're going to turn to who's on the roster now? Is it Jake Plummer? We signed Jake Plummer. He's 47 and he's wearing jorts. Okay, let's put him out there.

To coach to Cleveland Browns, you need a piece that passes all understanding. You need a faith that believes in the impossible, that doesn't demand evidence or anything beyond faith itself. Mark Rick to the Browns. If anyone can stand it, it's Mark Rick. Listen, Jesus stumbled three times. The Browns coach has to stumble 16. Think about that. That's crazy.

You've got to be over five times what Jesus was to coach the Browns. That's amazing. Can't wait to see him do a high dive into the river. That pool is empty. I know. Hell yeah, I knew coach is on fire. So I'm on fire now. There's another really, wow, man, this was bold.

This is super bold. Theo Rebadenera Good, you nailed it. Got it in one. At Theo Ribby. Ribadenaera. There.

Ribs. Call him ribs. Ribs. Ribsie. Um, Theo Rabatineara. Straight up. Rex Rind, Arkansas. Oh, geez.

We can't know. Stop it. We're done talking about Arkansas. That's redundant. All right, right, listen, if Blake Shelton fucks in a Henley, Rex Ryan fucks a Henley. We're moving on. It's between Bert and Rex Ryan. All right, this one from Sam Donnelly at Sam Donnelly.

Tennessee boosters think they're too good for a first-time head coach. T. Martin goes to Ole Miss and wrecks their shit for a decade. Oh, you want to talk about plausible things. Yeah. Entirely plausible. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty special that Tennessee has a quarterback who won a national champions for them not that long ago in the grand scheme of the sport, who has had success, not as a head coach, but somewhat slightly below that, at other major programs, who is well regarded as a recruiter who you would think would be an interesting candidate for this job.

and just there's never a whisper of it. Hmm, I wonder, I wonder why that is. I can't think of any, of any, of any reason for that. Oh, oh, let me, let me interject for you, because I think I know. Do you happen to have a theory on why that might be? I think the sinister thing you're thinking. It's because he was born in Mobile. No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's his lack of experience.

Oh, yeah. His lack of experience is a college head. coach because if you're Tennessee you want you know someone with a lot of experience as a college head coach and that's who you're targeting at number one on your list right correct right that's something that that they've looked for and they've valued and um their last four coach it you know if you if you if you hire john gruden you're very excited about his long experience as a college head coach and that would be that would be your best reason for picking him over t martin i just want a coach who makes me feel safe

Um, let's see. I got, I like, I like this one a lot from, um, Tom Collins, in a lonely place underscore on Twitter. Every D1 school in Florida, except Miami is going to have a different head coach next season. God, this one is, this one is amazing. We already moved Mark Rick to the Browns, but we'll bring him back. We'll bring him back. The, uh, the Lord changed his mind. Okay, Mark Rick came back. Um, Jimbo. Shit, man. Sounds like he can, he can have his. pick about half the schools in the SEC. A&M, Tennessee, Arkansas, Mississippi State, Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Trade jobs with Dan Mullen. Notice this, by the way. Everywhere Jimbo goes is super hunting compatible. They're like basically Jimbo's like, hmm, they're a tree stand within 10 miles of the stadium? I'll consider it. Arkansas State. There's the answer right there. Done.

Florida, easy, already on the market. Kiffin, shit, send him anywhere. He'll go literally anywhere to escape, hashtag the FAU. Butch Davis, Nebraska, next. UCF, Scott Frost, to... USF, Charlie Strong, send him to Ole Miss. Go ahead. Charlie Strong to Ole Miss.

Okay. The Frost, Florida, fine. I don't care, fine. That's it. That's all of them, right? Yeah. I mean, that's easy. And, like, what did I say that, what was, what was the most outrageous one in there?

Butch Davis? Yeah. Send him to Oregon State then, okay? Oh, oh. No, no, no, we can't do that because we have a better prediction for that. And that's Christmas Defender at MC Gaja 07. Butch Jones, Oregon State. A slumbering giant is awakened.

All the Butch's. All the butch's. man but much chose would be like he'd be an improvement there that's so sad it'd be it'd be amazing for him because his whole thing at tennessee was like well the media's negativity continues to drag this program down at oregon state i imagine the media is just like hey did you have a good lunch today yes we thank you thank you for the positive your belief in this program and its ability to have lunch at the highest level is what sustains us you continue to help our lunch recruiting The media at Oregon State, there's, like, one columnist who, like, if you send him texts, he's going to dump him, so just don't text that guy, and you're good.

Or just text some positive shit. Yeah, that's true. Text them nothing, but, like, how much you like Oregon State fans. Practice was amazing. What did you do today? I played Battlefront. You looked really nice in that sweater at the press conference. Thank you.

Thank you. I'm going to leak this. It worked on you for a while. you'd be like, God, he's a son of a bitch, and he hasn't given me a good answer all year, but he texted me 38 days in a row with a random compliment. Plus, like, you know, I think people would appreciate the fieriness at Oregon State.

At this point, right? Like, who's the last fiery coach that Oregon State had? Gary Anderson was pretty fiery, judging by those leaked text messages. Before that, you had nice Mike. um shit i don't even know who they had between nice mike stints who was between dennis ericsson oh that's right that's right he wasn't he's not a fine yeah he's pretty chill so like yeah go ahead send buch jones to oregon state seven and five is a fucking miracle there it's perfect yeah and i mean plus he can say the shit that he wants to say like well i believe

we're making taking great strides we improved all the way to three and nine and it's like yeah butch jones you're right that is that is pretty good at oregon state in year too, you know? Here at Oregon State, we believe in the bronze medal of life. Championship's a little far away from us, but we are going to finish on the podium. That's what I believe. Every now and then he'd throw off a really lame insult about Nike. You're like, well,

you know, some people have, you know, some programs have shoes. Ooh. We hear, we believe in having beaver tough feet. We were, we were slides on the field. we do we paint our feet

we paint our feet with the the gummy stuff that certain native tribes used instead of shoes and it works just as well I'm prouder I'm prouder to be a you know what I'm proud to be a sketchers program because I want this team to shape up I sure do

there's not a lot of teams out here wearing the umbro check checkerboard I don't what their fucking logo is the umbra jaguar i think that you know like oregon state football uh we've chosen a brand that's you know been down for a while but it's due to make a comeback after several decades off the map and that's why i believe british knights is the brand really british knights humble fought together as a team knew their new their place worked together towards one common goal died of plague all things i want for our our kids have unusual

teeth. Yeah. See? Like a beaver. This one is, this was also some of these real real. Hashtack, hashtag K-Squad 2K-19. We're building it stick-by-stick. That's how we build this damn. Stick-by-stick! Holy shit!

Hashtag stick-by-stick! Which Jones to Oregon State I needed in my life, hashtag stick-by-stick. Do it, please. Do it, please. um that so uh this was the one that i thought was uh legit terrifying like another one where i was like this is by the way this is solid this comes from fish avie i know we talk i know we talk shit about fish avie is that the name is that this person's name no no he's just part of teen fish abbey all right yeah that would be amazing yeah no that'd be good somebody really should like corner fish avie

Fish Abbey 849 would be awesome. Actually, Fish Abbey 6969 would be a really great ultimate Twitter account. So this one is from Jordan Shank, who's really roughed Fish Abbey well, because this is a tale of horror with a story-based in reality. And I don't think it'd be a bad hire at all, which would be Tennessee plucks DJ Durkin from Maryland, causing the Terps to panic and rehire Randy Edsel. Reader, listener, shut down full cast, EDSBS, fan, Rando, walking through this podcast for the first time.

Let me tell you. Person who thought they were downloading another podcast entirely. Exactly. Person who thought they were downloading, like, one of those nine-hour massive history podcasts where it's like hour three. Kilgabash. Yeah. Like, yeah, no. I want you to know every single step in this is completely realistic.

every single step could Tennessee hire DJ Durk it not as an insane idea we've brought up for comic purposes but because he's good at his job and has done a pretty good job with a dismal Maryland program getting them up to like just walking yeah no no no that's not no you're misrepresenting it that's not how it would happen because Tennessee would not say you know what we've done our homework and it's a little unorthodox it's not what fans expect it's not what we think they'll like it's it's it will be, well, we're on choice eight. When does that happen before? All of the time. Every fucking time. Butch Jones was very publicly choice number five. Five this past time. And that's not, that's not, we don't even know how many others said no.

Nobody wants to coach Tennessee. Also, I just checked in fish avie is available as a hand. Oh, well, we're getting fish abbey. For now. By the time I'll hear this, it might not be because that's the part that I heard as being realistic. That's the first part. The second part that's realistic is that Marilyn would panic and pull back Randy Edsel and that Randy Edsel would jet from Yukon in a hot second. This actually was my dream job. This is now my recurring dream job as it turns out. Just can't shake this dream. I'm in a waking nightmare. It's weird.

It's my waking nightmare job. This is my night terror. I don't have pants on in that dream, so that's how I'm going to coach. Go Terps. From Adam Jensen 28, people had a lot of Lane Kiffin takes, of course. This is my favorite of that genre. I don't read exactly how it was written. Lame Kiffin.

I don't know if that was a time. typo but we'll go with it works as florida coach works as florida coach for less than a week before accepting the new york giants job they deserve it hey everyone if in florida and the giant everybody involved deserves that yeah i think that's fine it's the reverse billy donovan it's totally cool just let it happen don't care who this one there's some hotness here too i love you all you did a great job this week. Andrew Randallson,

at only he knows, Craig Bolden of Nebraska, Brett Beelamota, Wyoming. Holy. Oh, man. Look the big hog roam. He'll turn into a fucking wookie at that point.

Just a sandblasted, just behemoth. Just, man. Poutter River, I don't think it would be real good for him. I'm just, I don't think he's, he's that kind of outdoorsman. I think, I think Bert is the opposite of James Winston, who eats wins, who eats Ws. Bert gains weight when he loses.

Bert eats L's. So if you stick him out in Wyoming, you know, that program, say you went seven, eight games a year. That's, that's great for Wyoming. He's going to slim down a little bit. Bert's going to start looking pretty good out there. That's true. Also, I think, I think nothing, like, when I think of, like, I don't know how. How about a big, fat, enormous white guy?

I'm like, oh, Wyoming. They love him. He'd be like, man, we wanted a big old white guy. We got a big white guy. Who's that coaching from an ATV? Yeah. Coach is in a golf cart. Craig Bold and on horseback.

That's what, yeah. Yeah, with a standee. He's not getting up on that thing alone. He needs a couple of stairs. This is from Eric Tinstman. at E. Tinsman. John Gurdon does a signing day commercial with a bunch of team hats, but pulls out a corona from under the table.

You know, I don't, what, I don't, I truly do not understand the fascination with John Gurdon at Tennessee. And because he really is the corona of coaches. We're just like, yeah, you know what? It's fine. I'm not going to turn it down. I'm not going out of my way to find it. It's literally always available in some sense.

and did you have one great day that happened to have corona did that exist yeah is it important that you relive that probably not it was 12 years ago you can hire any coach you want as long as it's john gruden i think that also like corona i i really only see john gruden on tv right yeah i don't i don't see a lot of people or in airports um there are there is uh this is another one that man i don't know like some of these are dangerously realistic right are you going to are you going to do frank solace to nebraska no no no no i do think craig bold to nebraska like makes all too too much sense and they don't care like Nebraska wouldn't care about age either it's like like Craig bull's like i think Craig bulls like 68 or something right this can be ascertained please hold yeah he he's he's not a young man right

He's 59. You continue to be terrible at this. No, he looks old. He looks 68. He does look old, but he's 50. He's 59. I like that this job, like these men stay in, this line of work for so goddamn long that we're talking about 59. Like, he's like 30 or something.

Like, he's not old. He's old as hell. He's got 40 more years. Well, that's the thing. He's only 65. If he moves to Nebraska, right? Oh, they're going to ask him. in terms, they'll be like, well, don't you want a medical exam?

And they'll be like, no, we just need to know a few things about you. Do you smoke? No? Or are you willing to? Yeah, or it's like, do you smoke? And if his answer is yes, they'll be like, well, what kind of cigarettes? And they're like, oh, not the unfiltered ones. Those are the ones that, or not the filtered ones, those are the ones that give you cancer. It's the filters, not the tobacco.

And they'd be like, hire him. I believe a smoke early in the morning cleans your teeth. scalds all the toxins off your teeth you know smoking's how they choose the pope so how can it be bad that could that could happen right

but have we have have we have we have we really entertained the notion uh here put forward by at the Gax fSU fires

Jimbo okay I'm gonna I'm gonna say it well all right sure, yep. FSU, the Jimbo leaves FSU, because that's how that's going to happen, right? Because if FSU fires Jimbo, spiteful Jimbo Fisher will absolutely not take another job just to collect that huge payout. He absolutely will do that. Just can't find work? Just can't find work? I've interviewed everywhere. No one will hire me. It's real weird. Hey, Jimbo, you've got like eight visible texts on your phone from AD.

The Los Angeles Chargers posted a Facebook note begging you to come coach them. We've seen you on the sidelines at Texas A&M clearly coaching. Yeah, that's a volunteer position. Don't get paid for it. Yeah, just can't. Just can't find it. They just don't have any money to get me. Just can't find.

They have 100,000 people in the stadium and they can't afford to pay you any money. I don't know. It's going to textbooks, I guess. SwagCopter takes swag fuel. You know how hard that is to find? Real hard. So if Jimbo leaves, and again, I'm only hitting the most believable, credible, plausible, and most terrifying ones, Florida State hires Lane Giffin. Oh, God.

No, no, no, no, no. You're in here with me right now. You can't, oh, God, your way out of this. I know, I know. Look it in the eye, Ryan. Live your pain. Look at it in its dark, flat, soulless eyes. God, it's fine.

He'd be good, no, no, that'd be a hot three years, maybe four. Four? Two. Yeah, okay, now we're talking. It'd be a hot two years. He's turning out of the damn cowboys job in two years. You'd get, no, you'd get some sort of, like, comment factor there, right? You'd be like, well, the NCAA is going to come over, and they're going to miss it up.

It's all, like, the Gator boards and, like, the Alabama. boards would be, you know, because everybody would be pissed off at them for, like, really sketchy recruiting practices. And then out of nowhere, it would be like, the ATF raids them. The SEC, the other SEC? Yeah, the securities fraud? Damn, Lane, what did you get into? Hashtag, come to the FSU.

Hey, uh, you see there's UNP, you see there's UNP Skeepers at Don't Campbell? Anybody know what that's about? everyone was excited about this year to see her hey you in come to the FSU oh god yeah no this is real this could

this could happen they get into a bad enough spot whew yeah so here are two different takes that both made me like out of

while reading through all these both of these just made me like you know from Kevin gingler, Greg Shiano to Ole Miss The brain can't even process this like

I mean, they could use some strict discipline I'll tell you that much. They could use somebody to you know to whack things back in shape I guess and Can you just see Greg Shiano and like Ole Miss walking into a gas station be like Why you guys got chicken here? Mercia's just the contraction of sir and ma'am. All right?

He's polite. Could you hurry up a little bit? What? Like him going to a school with silly traditions? Like, was there a fucking shark on the sideline? Well, you see, it's a land shark. What's a lanch? Like, Greg Shiano strikes me as well of those people who has so little time for jollity or anything, like, that isn't football, that jokes seem offensive to him, even benign ones, right?

Like, oh, that's funny. What's funny about that? why is the perfect Ohio State guy why is there a mascot you mean why do we have a new no why is there a mascot coach your last job at a mascot that man that was a man with a large head

he just thinks a lot you saw him too so and the other one from Adrian Brashier Hugh Freeze to Liberty which is of course the school that all awful people go to

not redeem themselves just wallow in it I guess I guess that's what they do I mean that's the thing if Hugh Freeze went there it'd be like oh finally someone you know within like screaming range of upstanding like he'd immediately be the

you know the best person in the whole chain of command there yeah for sure Hugh Frills go clean up Liberty how's he going to deal with the fact that Roy Moore turns him down to go be wide receivers coach for Elaine Kiffin. I guess this all assumes that Turner Gill is finally the Nebraska coach. Deservedly so. Deservedly so.

Should we do some charity ad reads before we continue? Yes, but one more before I forget. It's very brief. All right, and then we'll do that. This is from Stephen at UCF, Stephen. Very quick. Tennessee head coach Bo Polini

Fine, you know what? L-O-L. Great choice. Polini here is spelled P-O-L-I-N-I. I want to choose this one and talk about it only briefly just to say that like every other

Tennessee coaching search, it's entirely possible that out of desperation they will hire not Bo Pellini but just the guy named Bo Pauleini type the wrong name just type the wrong name get him in be like i don't know man he's just it looks a little different but yeah we're the cover band did you not know that that's it entirely possible that they could hire a guy named bo polini who is not in fact a football coach yeah guys coming out to see us tonight we're the nine and fours we're going to play a few

A.D. is a piece of shit. I fucking hate him to the core. All right. I'm going to start with this read. Again, all of these are the product of generous donations to Hurricane Relief from you, our listeners. We are almost through most of these. I've probably forgotten some here and there, so I'll try to clean that up. But I'm going to start with this from Brian Rutgers. not even once. I mean, we can play the game of how many teams at this point have a transit of loss to Rutgers. Because it's more than you think. It's everybody who lost to Purdue. It's not everybody who lost Eastern Michigan. So that means that Eastern Michigan is better than Texas, therefore.

And that probably means that who's the worst team Eastern Michigan has lost to? I don't think they've played Akron Well, they did lose to Ohio So there's Frank Solich Ohio's pretty good Well, Akron is worse than Ohio But they haven't played Akron Well, be that as it may

I'm giving Texas The transitive, non-transitive, hypothetical loss to Akron We can probably work it that way because Akron beat Western Michigan and Western beat Eastern. Okay, yeah, so we can get there. Eastern lost to Western.

Western lost to Akron. There's your connection. Akron is better than the University of Texas. The Big 12 should abandon Texas and replace it with Akron for the Zips Network. From Richard, the full quote, I will read it in the entire thing.

I want to hear how my Mississippi State Bulldogs defeated the Alabama Crimson Tide. If that is a bridge too far, I understand. Damn, we picked a bad week to read this. No, I do this on purpose, because I'm a mean person. Yeah. Well, because, I mean, Richard already knows how his Mississippi State Bulldogs defeat the Alabama Crimson Tide happened last week.

Sure did. Took him to the wire. It was, what was it, 24, 24, something like that. Bam was driving. Calvin Ridley's running toward the end zone. And, bam, the sniper got him. Well, no, Bama scored, but then... Scored too quick, scored too quick, turned around.

And then Nick Fitzgerald... Through the Hail Mary, nobody expected. On that Hail Mary from like the 32, and it, you know, like, it didn't fly like, you know, 20 yards out of the end zone. He threw it like straight up, like he was playing that tank game. 500, yeah, like he was playing 500. The tank game where you angle the turrets.

Sure. He just stood straight up, and it flew for like a minute, and then it came down so fast it was whistling, landed right in a bulldog's arms. And then they went for two, and it was, I don't even remember it, but it was really cool. And they knocked off the tide, Bulldogs number one now. Yep.

Yeah. The committee just decided they hadn't actually lost, so. Look it up. Look at howard Zend said so. Whole record expunged. Yeah, a Bulldog's history of the American people. I have a read And I will tell you in advance

That I believe this read is This reads a little too consonant with my personal beliefs You know sometimes you read something where you go Man that's great Then you go I don't trust it because I agree with it too much That's kind of where we're at with this It's from Ben and Denise Bama fatigue

Is an island surrounded by water, big water, ocean water, and we're all stuck there. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, but, but yeah. You know what's going to be the worst part? Nick Saban is eventually going to not be the head coach at Alabama, and everybody is going to say, well, time to fall, time to be like the rest of us, Bama, time to fall back from whence you came, be a pauper, fight for scraps, like everyone. everybody else have a seven-win season here and there experience some pain and some hardship and

what's really going to suck is it won't happen ban we'll just be like no sorry we're going to keep winning at least 11 games every year fuck you we're a machine we're an absolute machine we're going to do that thing where we hire a coach who wins the SEC and we still threw a brick through his front window that happened google bill curry yeah that yeah no that that's yeah for the young ins you don't actually believe that happened no that's true completely true. That's because they believed in what he was building and they wanted to help.

More materials. They had a coach have sex with it. It's just like Minecraft. They have sex with his secretary on his desk. That was a big thing in the 90s. Like, just going around. Well, yeah, because everybody had seen disclosure.

Yeah. So that happened. And they kept him around and then suddenly it became an issue when he When we won like three games in a year, they're like, suddenly we have a, we have a, Jeff Sessions voice, suddenly we have an issue with his moral turpitude. We did a full examination of the desk and, oh, the results just came back today. Yes, there were, it happened to take about 15 months. There were, there were, we found, we found traces of seamen and losses to Arkansas on the desk. Both are foul omissions.

My views on this subject have evolved. Didn't you say he was a fine coach? I do not recall. I don't recall. I don't recall saying that. At the time, given the information that I had at the time, it's possible that I said this erroneous fact. I do not recall any football seasons before the present one,

which includes a loss to UCF. Was he the one that lost to UCF? I don't know. Let's just say every or lost the UCF. Mark Rick did, though. Mark Rick did lose the UCF. Never forget.

That is very true. Very true. That was, yeah. Now, by the way, that was never, that was never proven. However, Mike Dubose had to pay a settlement to get out of this. And you'll be proud to know, by the way,

like, here's the best part. That that that was 1999. and that is the first. That is like one of the big first internet rumors. So you're like, man, what's this amazing new technology going to show us? What mysteries of the universe will the wizard unlock for us? Old man fucks on desk. Dude with horrible redneck bowl cut bone someone allegedly on a desk in a football office in Alabama.

You're like, Horty man makes bad choice. Yeah, you know what? That is the internet summed up. And you're like, this edition of Encarta is incredible. Thank you, AOL.

Siri, what is the secret to life? Horty man makes bad choice. Oh, yeah. I mean, the other. The other read I've got here is from Travis.

Thanks to Spencer for Evan, the supremacy of Texas barbecue, correct? H.E.B. Absolutely. And Houston culture. Also, if Ryan isn't made the Blumen Onion, I vowed to continue to never go to Outback Steakhouse.

So really nothing, you're promising like a hypothetical if Ryan gets the Blumen Onion gig, but you're not going to Outback anyway, which I would say, you know, it's not a huge life changer. Every now and then, though, that filet, that filet in the right moment,

you want to pull off the interstate, but you don't want to go to Hardee's, you want to sit down? Hmm? I'm just, it's like a 0.000-0-0-0-0-1% difference in the quality of your life, but you might want to take it. Well, if you're comparing, like, the Outback to, like, you know, Chili's and Ruby Tuesdays and Applebee's and O'Charlie's and that whole genre, I think you can make the case for Outback. Oh, yeah, no, I'm happy doing that. That's a salt. like I would pitch that right I'll do that

I'll do that well before your chilies or several other chain restaurants what if you throw a longhorn in there the longhorn it's a pet how crowded is the longhorn well a longhorn at all times is crowded like I mean all of these are unfucking believably crowded at all times

right so I don't I mean they all got like an hour wait I mean I feel like Outback's perfect place in the universe is place you take your dad for his birthday when you have your first job out of college. Like, that's the sweet spot. That's where Outback exists. It's just from the Blumen perspective, it's tough because, you know, I've talked to them occasionally here and there. And, like, I think they're showing interest.

And I think, like, maybe we're reaching progress in negotiations. But then I remember, they don't operate. by rules. How can you, how can you form a contract with a company that specifically says we follow no rules? We acknowledge no law. We are anarchy in stake form. What can I do with that? You're being detained. I hope, you know what? I hope they say that to health inspectors that show up. They're like, okay. Now I'm going to look so. Nyer, I know, is that you're Australia? Is that your Aussie accent? That's my

Aussie, that's my Outback Steakhouse commercial. That's your Tampa Aussie accent. So the meat cooler, the door has been open for six hours. Nairairaius! My favorite thing about going to any place like Outback, though, is the reality check when, you know, I live in a city and the wait for a restaurant, you know, even at, like, high tide they won't tell you you know they won't be like oh man it's an hour and a half

wait because they're like insane people won't do that they'll just be like you should come back right put it outback they'll be like hmm you know what this random outback in like you know poleville kentucky um yeah we got like a 108 minute wait do you want to go to the bar and you're like chances are they'll probably give it to me in like 80 minutes and i'm in poleville yeah it's in those circumstances it's this or sushi restaurant that is way too far away from the ocean classic um a few shoutouts before we move on benjamin hoffman nade edwards alex mckew and stephen clark who reminds you go blow again michigan

is playing a game of some importance but we're barely here to talk about that um are Are there any, all right, I know we've talked about Arkansas a lot, and I know we're trying to sort of, like, spread the wealth a little bit here. However, there are two other Arkansas-related predictions I want to talk about. The first is this, from Danny Will at underscore Danny Will, Barry Alvarez to Arkansas to be Brett Bilema's athletic director again. Thought you escape me. How you doing, Brett? Good morning, Beryl. I see.

I see you think, I see you believed that our. working relationship was at an end. What is my buyout to leave? How much? And that's how Brett Bieland ended up at Oregon State. Barry, you look well. I wish I could say the same, Brett. Barry Alar is just storming the country, driving people to go coach Oregon State.

And then this, Holly Henderson, she G-chatted me during the show, and she said, I'm convinced Bob Davy is going to snap out of his stupor after a brush with scandal and end up with the Arkansas job. I want you, Spencer, what would it sound like if Bob Davy tried to call the hogs? We! Sue! The Sue! War, porg, sewer! Did you say porg?

Is this a Star Wars thing? Yeah, it would just be in the wrong It would be in the wrong order They'd be There'd just be so many things Incorrect With this Sue Whig Pui

And then And then And yeah Although he would he would you know he would do something that would be it'd be so frustrated because they'd go seven and five or eight and four

and they would do so many things which were like cool they'd win games they weren't supposed to that's very Arkansas and also they would have disastrous end game management which someone in the SEC West has got to do it someone half of them

we miss you less smiles Jesus man like damn how we're going to have Olez Arkansas if we have two boring competes coaches impossible nature will not allow it