Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 7.44: Help, Too Many Things Are Happening

Episode Date: November 27, 2017

The top two teams both lost but, honestly, there's SO MUCH MORE to talk about beyond that this week, like:Why Luke Falk solidified his prospects as the #1 overall pickWIsconsin's Daguerrotype of DoomJordan-Hare Stadium is the greatest wrestling venueTodd Graham...got treated poorly, maybe?Mike Riley thought he could let Iowa score 56 and just show up to workSpencer wants to spend rent money on a dirtbikeTennessee has no idea how to read the roomR.I.P. Baker Mayfield's genitals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

welcome to the shutdown forecast i don't even really know where to start let's state them facts okay just lay out everything that's happened over i don't know let's keep it simple the last 48 hours okay so sorry sorry usf UCF um sorry i think that means we're not talking about Miami losing to pit Let's just let's just mention these quick 72 hour window Oh yeah, Miami lost their first game To a very confident Pat and Arduzzi What Pat Narduzzi did coming out of half time

Was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen Because it could have backfired spectacularly Oh no, he had He had everything to lose there Because by saying that yeah, it happened in West Virginia it happened in South Carolina, and it's happening again. He didn't even sound like he was A, hedging, or B, sank it with any bluster whatsoever. That was delivered with the full confidence of a man who knew that he had his foot halfway up the ass of his opponent

and was going to get the whole thing up there. But is also taking credit for Dave wants that's work, which seems unfair. Well, aren't we all? Aren't we all? I mean, we all stand on the shoulder of giants, and their giant sandwiches. Also, all pit people are part Wonstat, right? It's like a spore system. Right?

Great. They are like, I'm Dave Wonstat. Like Spartacus, they all stand up with an enormous sandwich in hand and an Arn't City beer in the other. I am Dave Wonstadt. That would be an amazing 23 and me promo. You get some dude in like New Mexico who's like, oh, I'm 3% Wonstat.

Look at that. I had no idea. It was so easy. I just went downtown. Excent immediately just goes all sideways. Put my journeys in the mill. So that happened. That happened.

So Miami lost. This is how you know that everything has gone full sideways in the past 72 hours, that we are just going to say, oh, yeah, Miami lost. Yeah. Number two lost next. Ain't got no time. Yeah, ain't got no time. And got no time for the best game.

that I watched all year, which was UCF, USF, a game which in the last three minutes had three lead changes and included a 80-yard bomb by USF, which was answered promptly by an immediate kickoff return for a touchdown by UCF, thus keeping the Knights record spotless and sending them into the American final with Memphis in a game where there will be no fewer than 115 points scored. No, these are not even top billing. These are barely second billing when you get to everything that has happened. So in order, Iron Bull, Auburn, Alabama, Saturday afternoon, 2.30 Central,

3.30 Eastern. But 2.30, God's time zone. God showed up. God had money on Auburn, y'all. Auburn Jesus is real. Auburn Jesus has a gambling problem, and he does, it's not a problem. All right. Auburn, Jesus can stop when he wants.

Auburn Jesus is an investment Hey man if you if you call Auburn Jesus is 1,900 line right now I mean Jesus did go into the desert So I guess that does make him the original Sandman He's the original sandman

Hey man, hey man My friend in the desert Jesus Okay That's who Brent was talking about all along You guys had Lusberger Completely wrong I like what I like here is that

usually when we talk about Auburn Jesus we mean like you know the the prayer of Jordan hair the tip tail Mary the kick six all that type of shit here it was like okay I guess Jesus goes about 315 and runs like a 4 940 because uh you know Auburn had the advantage in the trenches we'll credit that to Jesus I guess listen Jesus did Jesus was great in off season workouts all right got it more explosive from his base from his hips yeah yeah I like this reminds me on like you see on like reddit where you get to see the argument and we're like who would win batman versus john sina versus jesus and they're like all right let's go to the tape here we got batman picking up a warehouse okay well here's john sina you know he he just beat somebody who's

already dead who can top that and then you come in with jesus's feet and it's like oh man come on now they're getting smoked i mean i hear what you're saying at the same time jesus cross drill you want to be carrying that the whole way you don't want to be dropping it and yeah you're going to say but he rolled the rock away nobody saw that man like we don't know if he had a spot we don't know if he was you know using using any sort of like assistance there but it doesn't even matter though if you had help from angels okay they're coming on the field and you know what what did Auburn get flagged for what Auburn get flagged for 12 men on the field tell him it was that extra man it was there was walking beside us there were 12

men the whole goddamn time Alabama you didn't even know about it you just saw him once you caught a glimpse of the glory and it bailed you out your sorry asses sorry heathen asses get out of get out of my stadium here's what you here's what you need to know by the way uh several things from watching this game live one albair best wrestling crowd in the entire SEC why do i say that because albair does everything that a crowd is supposed to do exactly on time right it's not like lSU where you know yes the the brimming cup full of swamp evil that you've come to uh sup with is full and a little terrifying. And invites you to fillet a tiger.

Sure. Not only the most problematic SEC fan chant, but also the most zoologically confusing in terms of execution, intent. There's so much that doesn't make sense about the chant for LSU's neck. But Auburn fans do everything that like a wrestling crowd does, like on time, right? Like when it's time to go, holy shit, holy!

They do it, right? when no problem by chance the rapper comes on, guess what? Most of the crowd, a surprising percentage of them, they don't say the words they're not supposed to say. They censor them because their minister is watching

and they know parts of it are problematic because they're a little further along on that curve than you think they are. Not too much further, but a little bit further than you think. Additionally, they get quiet when they're supposed to get quiet. They get real loud. They cheer along with what they're supposed to do. And when it comes time to troll

the hell out of Alabama and play Dixieland Delight and Rammer Jammer. They sing along with the whole thing. Already prepped. Got the script. Totally ready. So yes. It's cool full of like, you know, engineers and ag people. They got it covered. They got plans. They got blueprints. It's all done according to

scheme. So, so well done, Auburn, a delightful experience with that. You also need to know that, yeah, at one point Auburn did have 12 men on the field, thus negating a hilariously bad Alabama snap. Like as bad as I've seen that offense meltdown or discombobulate. I think it's probably unfair to say. Like earlier I was like thinking, I don't know.

This offense is really missing something. They've been pretty good. They just haven't faced anybody really good. And when they face somebody really, really good, guess what Auburn's defensive line did? That just ate up their entire offensive line, dominated them at the point of attack. and kept Jalen Hertz, who's real good, y'all.

Like, first person step up and be like, you know, Jailen Hurts isn't that good. Yeah, you get slapped. That's ridiculous. He's fantastic. They just, they- Handing out slaps. I do.

I am. Tonight I'm handing out slaps. We won't step up, get slapped. Free slaps. First person to tell me about how Greg Shiana was martyred on social media. Slap. It's slap a Hertz Hater Sunday. That's it.

Listen, listen, don't, don't, don't give the whole store away now. Okay, that's just a taste of what we're going. That's a taste of what we got coming. We're not even through the Iron Bowl. This is just the intro. We got we got Puff Daddy murmuring beneath everything we're saying right now.

He ain't even ready to shut up yet. We do. We're building. We're building to a prelude. We're not even close to the climax of this thing yet. But yeah, that's Iron Bowl basically a complete domination by Auburn start to finish.

Alabama's only in this game because of a couple of mistakes in one drive that they get in the second half. Where Alabama comes out and just blows Auburn off the ball, and I guess, I don't know, Auburn was sleepy. It was stunning to watch because you're like, well, rap, that's the wrap. This game's over. They can run the ball like that. They only had one Bama drive in them. After that, it was, whew, dad spent. It was an Undertaker match, not a good one.

And Bama came out like, all right, now I'm going to put you in a sleeper hold. Auburn said, nope, no, yank, piao. It's off the top turnbuckle for me. I like for about like five minutes of game time in the middle of the second half. Bama straight up looked like Arkansas or Ole Miss or Tennessee. Yeah. That wasn't bad anymore. Wait, wait, wait, not Tennessee.

For like five minutes. That's not, no. there, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will slander the name of the tide by comparing them to the most garbage SEC, um, program you can conjure. Of 2017. Of 2017, we'll be specific. I don't care who it is. I mean, the fucking, how, how many times this year did Tennessee have like three fucked up snaps in the course of like five minutes and various other fuckups all at once? They'd usually lose one of them, so they couldn't get three.

So, that's true. But, yeah, that's true. Tennessee doesn't actually snap the ball very often. Yeah, Auburn looked awesome. I thought the way that they responded to that touchdown from Alabama after the half, field goal drive, touchdown drive, touchdown drive. Like, they looked like they knew what they were doing on pretty much every offensive possession.

I don't know if they'll be able to do this now that their running backs are Spencer and Spencer's neighbor. well you know I will say this that if anybody could get me in a position to succeed it would be Gus Melzaugh. Additionally apparently Jared Sidham is now a world class or at least he

looked that way against Alabama again how wrong is your entire game plan and how discombobulated are you by the opponent when I can sincerely say important gains on the ground by Jared Sidem vital gains on the ground by Jared

Steadham. A crucial Zone Reed touchdown. That's when I think the Alabama defense knew that they were done. It was when Jared Stidham pulled the ball and dove and had nothing but room in front of them. They're like, oh, y'all, it's just not happening today.

It's just not. It's like 6'6 quarterback from Texas just galloping wild through the secondary. You got a problem here. The last time I saw a quarterback do that against Alabama who I did not recognize as an absolute physical genius

right? An obvious physical genius it was Stephen Garcia ooh yeah and he's been dead for 30 years that'd be great if we just like Stephen Garcia who's perfectly nice guy like if you met

him and you just like ah the ghost of Stephen Garcia just treated him he died that gin plant explosion in 1988. Zounds! The ghost of Stephen Garcia approaches. We're buying shots for him. Do you have

mixers? I do. I do have mixers, ghost of Stephen Garcia. Here's some cranberry juice. Be gone. It's good. You've got to get your vitamin C in if you're going to recover from all that. So

that's the Iron Bowl done. I'm with a loss, and now having played and achieved a rate of 100% butts out, winning the SEC West, and getting Gus Malz on his Waffle House dinner. It should be noted, by the way, when I was on the field. I went down with my press pass, right, all official like, and standing in the weirdest collection. If you go into the collection of weird Auburn people who can all crop up at one place, I was standing next to Tim Cook and Jason Campbell those were my two like what is

Auburn you're like well a big old quarterback he used to be made fun of for wearing white shoes in his leisure time right and and Tim Cook the head of Apple Auburn's weird y'all in a good way well it's because they got those tricky

hedges that's what you really got to watch out for if you want to know if you want to know why you should root for Auburn to upset that everyone for the rest of time if they're playing at home, here's why, watching people get stuck in the hedges.

Like, deeply stuck. Like, meaningfully stuck. It looked like watching the computer game, the lemmings. Remember if there's people just pouring off a cliff? I thought, I thought it looked like saving private Ryan, right? Like, first wave.

What else? I mean, so, yeah, one and two loss. Ohio State meet Michigan, despite going down 14 points to start the game. Man, I forgot that even happened, right? Yeah, yeah. J.T. Barrett was neither the leading passer nor leading rusher for Ohio State. He was fine-ish, if you consider 97 total yards, 30 of them passing in two touchdowns.

Good, I mean, but he was not, like, the key to the game. I mean, the key of the game was that the Michigan defense just totally unraveled in the second half. Just could not keep Ohio State from driving. And also that Ohio State has far more good backup quarterbacks in Michigan does and always will. That's true. It's a free year. I mean, in fairness, Michigan is down to like QB7 at this point. I've had 2014 Urban Meyer doesn't know what the problem is.

Who's Brad Henney? I don't even. Is that a clone? Is that a failed clone? Who's Benny? any who's won navarre this is a nightmare um but but but but and you know after this game ended I turned to our colleague Richard Johnson and I said you know I'm glad that Ohio State won this game by a decisive margin so that we don't have to listen to either

of these sides argue about something relatively inconsequential and way to conspiracy theory nope urban Meyer provides the camera the cameraman assassin Liam leon leon leonison is the photographer in theaters everywhere i see ben actually i had it as ben afflic in the accountant right so you could just have them like so you could have have like you know mock gifts of him like

staring at cameras right right a lot of like shitty point and shoot jokes yeah exactly he points and that he shoots I don't even know what's going on in the situation. All I know is that Urban Meyer has, I guess, accused a cameraman affiliated with Michigan of intentionally injuring J.T. Barrett. J.T. Barrett says he doesn't think it was intentional. The whole thing seems incredibly ridiculous. And at this point, I just want Wisconsin to win the Big Ten championship, so we don't have to hear about it anymore.

Because it just seems dumb and wrong at this point. I don't know why it exists. that shouldn't be a big deal because all Wisconsin cameras are still like Degora types however you say that word right the thing where the big plume of smoke so you can see those coming they're big though they're heavy one of those falls on you you'll die

if you get hit with one of those you're laid out there won't be no owl my knee you're done yeah give my best to my children I was destroyed by an 1890s camera just a big plate full of the big old silver plate fell on my head a daguerreotyping in my season

it's a traveling trophy okay the deadly daguerre type let's give that one to Wisconsin Indiana Wisconsin Wisconsin Spring game It's the Wisconsin Spring Game Traveling trophy

Okay Yeah that's cool Yeah I don't know I mean we can like rip through a bunch of these others No Iowa put up That was about it. I mean.

I am amused that Iowa put up 56 points on Nebraska. We don't have to talk about it in detail, but it's still a real number. It's a real number that's out there over 500 yards of offense. Yeah. You know what else is a real number, Ryan? What? Seven. Yeah, that's a real number.

You know what else is the number eight? And that's if Iowa gets eight wins. All these like bonuses kick in. I think seven trigger the extra year of the buyout already. It did trigger the extra year of the buyout. If they get eight, I believe there's an additional bonus or two that kicks in. There's lucrative ones for staff at Iowa at the seven win mark, I believe, as well. Meaning that if you wondered whether the pressure was on for this game, right?

to prove as proof of life for the value of Iowa staff and a reminder that they owe everything to Kirk Farrants. Oh yeah, I was on. It's the most important game of your life, boys. The most important game of your life. Coach, we're up by 30.

Keep pouring it on. Show them what I'm, we're made of. Louisville just took so much frustration out on Kentucky. That was enjoyable to watch. And Oregon scored 69. points. Nice. It is important to note that after Louisville took care of Kentucky in a game in which a defender tried to fight Lamar Jackson and ended up getting laid out, which that's not a great look. Skinny, skinny quarterback laying you out. Then again, skinny dude from Florida, you don't want to

fight that dude. And then after the game, Lamar took Kentucky's soul, man, but they play in Croger Field, which Croger, if you don't know, is an awful grocery store chain. Not maybe not awful we've discussed before C-minus at best Lamar hit him with the meme of himself towering over Kroger Field spraying down like Godzilla

laser eyes on fleeing Kentucky players and I think the caption was like I don't know what Kroger is I'm all about publics I'm from Florida which like upon gazing at that it was like holy shit man number one pick that's my quarterback Browns

please look away everyone else trade up yeah You know, you know who's really, really your guy, Cleveland? Josh Allen. Josh Allen. You can just pass on a pick. You could just Minnesota Vikings it and not turn it. That's a good idea.

That's a good idea. Can you? Or could we send the Browns like just a dude we really like, you know, who, you know, ain't really going to cut it in the league, but we'd like to see him get some money, you know? Like maybe like a, like George's kicker. You know what I mean? I mean, he's good, but. Yeah, Roder.

go Blankenship? Yeah, he's good, but like, is he really going to be, you know, you know, you know they'll make him play quarterback, right? You know they'll do that. Okay. I think he'd like that. I think he'd like that. I disagree. I strongly disagree. Well, it's like the idea. Okay. That may be true. He's got glasses, so he's a smart guy, so he probably would not like the idea of playing quarterback for the Browns. You're right. Is there, is there any other game that we have to discuss here? I mean, yes, Florida lasts of Florida State. They look terrible. They are terrible. Randy Shannon can go get lost in a parking

lot for 18 years. He'll do that. I know. He's prone to it. Wazoo got palindromed. Man, Apple Cup. I'm glad Apple Cup did not have national implications because Jesus Christ did not live up to them. Yeah, wow. I mean, Washington State,

okay, let's see. What is their road performances this year? They went to Oregon and got the went to Cal lost by 34 went to Arizona lost by 21 went to Utah squeaked out the win went to Washington and lost by 27 I don't know mad enough in my head so that's not a good point differential right there you should just stay in Pullman said no one ever yeah just just stay in Pullman also completing the Benjamin Button trajectory of Luke Falk's career where he came in a senior and he left a freshman in high school yeah very very confusing but that's done that's over hey that's who we'll send to the browns we'll send luke right like hey you know you took a lot of hard hits we'll send you to cleveland where you'll

kind of just do the same but but much more lucratively yeah you'll you'll get benched unexpectedly and then get put back in the game um how you perform will not necessarily impact whether or not your team wins um yeah this seems good yeah that's good he's man telling you he's he's Overqualified. Yeah. Oh, also, he's tall and white. Tall and white and can't really run. Perfect. Perfect.

NFL scouts. Go get you man. Brandon Whedonsheds a single tier. No, you know, we do have one more game to discuss. What? The greatest game of all. That of management. Oh, my God.

Yeah, everyone got fired. And a bunch of people got hired, too. Yeah. You're here to hear about it. we're here to talk about it. That's what we're here for. And I will inform you. I'm going to give you the freshness date on all of this, okay?

We're recording this at about 10 o'clock Eastern time on Sunday night. Anything that happens after this? We're not liable for. We're not. Actually, we're not liable for any, but we're not decision makers. And thank God for that because apparently sometimes those can be overruled very quickly. Spencer just said we're not liable in the presence of a lawyer that is stamped. we are hereby released from all it is now the purge

that's true all crime is legal all crime is legal now congratulations um god all right let's just see if we can rapid fire this just to make sure i catch everything um texas an m told everybody except kevin sumlin that they were firing kevin sumlin and that triggered a bunch of us to be like but what if he beats lSU he lost the lSU by 24 Kevin, someone is no longer the coach at Texas A&M. Let's see. Let's give you a little detail about that, by the way. Right.

What's his buyout? Was it 12? Yeah, about 11 million, I think. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, buyouts usually phased out. For example, Charlie Weiss's buyout, $16 million in change, phased out over six years from Notre Dame. So he was just on that buyout life, like taking check after check after check.

Kevin Sumlin's buyout Not quite 16 million Right somewhere more in the range of like 10 to 11 million Depending on how you count it Do you know when that's due 60 days Lump sum Dude that's a cable bill

It's 60 days It's a payment like for a cable bill Not for 10 mil All I'm saying is this 60 days from now Is like getting close to Valentine's Day. If Kevin Sumblin doesn't have the most baller Valentine's Day ever, he fucked up.

Man, if it's just 60 days, I'm calling him like, hey, y'all got my check. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. You show up the meeting. You make them count at Escobar style with the 1980s digital counter. Right? Yeah, exactly. And I roll up and I'm like, Gustavo counted. So Texas A&M is rumoredly going after Jimbo Fisher, but as of 10 o'clock, we don't have anything firm on that, correct? Correct. Basically. All we know is that

Bud reported at Tom Hought Nation that, like, weeks ago, Texas A&M media outlets were like, hey, can you record something on Jimbo Fisher for us? And Bud was like, how about it, Tomahawk Nation? You asked me to do this. Inquiries about Jimbo Fisher, bro.

Bud Elliott, the worst confidential informant. They're like, hey, y'all, if you want to try and hire FSU's coach, you might want to, if you're trying to keep it quiet, maybe, maybe go to somebody besides Bud because, because, you know, because your content, you know, if you try to make Bud your content, guess what? Bud just made you content. He's the blog judo master. That's what I thought I had a hold and there was a pro. Let's see. Florida did not hire Chip Kelly because he went to UCLA, did not hire Scott Frost because he apparently didn't even want to take a meeting with them and maybe going to take

the Nebraska job, which Mike Riley got fired from. Even though I'll give him this, he did decide to like pretend as if everything was fine. He did decide to just be like, well, just going to come into work here, going to break down some tape, probably everything's fine, turn off my outlook notifications because nothing could be coming down the pike that is of particular important silence my phone and have a nice glass of

grapefruit juice but Florida did hire Dan Mullen so now Mississippi State has is next in the rotation for somebody to hire let's see Arkansas fired Brett Bilema literally the second in the game was over

literally they might as well have like shot a crossbow at his feet with a scroll attached to it that said you're fucking fired that's how efficient it would like ruthlessly efficient there's I don't

you know I don't really may come as a shock to you I don't have much sympathy for authority figures management etc however I will say I don't know when you fire somebody like they didn't do it all the field they did it in a room right like he got off the field and they did it in like a room next to his office.

It was how it broke down apparently according to various the statement was into media like the second they did. And as for Bert himself, he was like as he's walking to the locker room, they pull him into his office like, hey, step in here, bye. And then like he has to go do the postgame presser with all the media holding up like,

says who you're fired, coach. We found out, you know, before you did. And you found up. I don't know if there's a good way to do it. I just don't. I don't think there's... Because here, okay, what's the right way to do it? Todd Graham's going to have a meeting at 8 a.m.

Todd Graham just won a big rivalry game. Just did it in convincing fashion. Todd Graham, who was picked to go like 3 and 9, went 7 and 5 and beat an actually good Arizona. And finished 2nd in the division. It went like, what, 5 and 4 in the Pac-12? It beat Washington. Dude, I think Todd Graham put up some of his own money.

for facilities like i think that that accounting might be a little like well yeah but then he got to take a cool construction photo so it was sort of a quit exactly right they're like do you want to play with the dump truck for 500 yes yes i do this is like i mean it eventually became like the 17th weirdest thing from sunday in college football news but like i sympathize with todd graham quite a bit yeah Todd graham got screwed and i'm i'm i'm i feel emotions about it that's crazy here like all right we we made fun of Todd Graham for being uh admittedly a bit of a mercenary and job hopping early in his career right having uh you know one year stop here and negotiating with people at the same time doing it in the shitty Bobby Petrino way where you like

leave your leave your players half of a edible arrangement with a note attached to it's like yeah I left sorry I'm also pineapple makes my tongue it so I left it for you not even not even like half of an edible. That'd be like fairly cool, right? No. It's leaving like half of an edible arrangement and a text message being like, thank you for your passion, right? And so, you know, I don't know, maybe from a certain perspective, if you're into like, you know, karmic accounting, maybe it's fair that once Todd Graham sort of committed to an institution at a place that they ended up firing him, despite him giving a consistent level of achievement, which the Arizona State program, much like the Arizona program, hasn't really ever enjoyed in modern history. And

And if they have, it's only for very short instances, right? So maybe, maybe to a certain perspective, that's, that's cool. I just think it's not, that's my disagreement is to be like, no, like, he's good. And I will say this also, every assistant who's played for Todd Graham, they're like, he's not your friend, but he's a great boss and he'll absolutely let you do what you're supposed to do. And if you look at the, like, number of coordinators he's turned out who've been really good on both sides of the ball, or who that he's found. He's been a good talent scout, right? Gus Malzahn being probably like the most prominent one of those.

And like Kevin someone, he's getting a whole bunch of money. Oh, my. Is any of this money? This is the most perplexing thing that's going on in college football, not the most perplexing because we're going to talk about that. But from a contractual, nope, not from a contractual standpoint. That's not true either. Okay. Pretend Tennessee doesn't exist. Good. You're instantly a little happier, right? Now, the weirdest thing that's going on in the college football coaching world is that all of these coaches are getting contracts where there's a big-ass buyout attached to them. That's not weird. That's normal. I think we understand that, yes, if we fire you, we're going to have to pay you $7 to $14 million or something. Even Lovie Smith has a buyout that's just like stupid high and his team is terrible.

None of these contracts have offset languages, which is how you get Florida paying Will Must Champ while he's coaching at Auburn, which is how you will have Texas A&M potentially paying Kevin Sumlin to coach at Arizona State or somewhere else, and which is how you get Todd Graham getting a big fat check from Arizona State, and none of it will be offset by any of his earnings at any next job he takes. None of it. All of it will be due. It's almost like this is an entirely artificial economy where the money just needs to be flushed before the federalis find it. Huh. Huh. It's funny. Also, like... Blue team. Jason Kirk knows too much. Blue team activate. Disposal unit five. Blue team go.

I've been compromised. They need to take him out before his truth. Gets the streets, the knowledge they need to overturn the social workers. like every rapper when they get woke the third verse is like they're going to kill me before I finish this verse but that was the last line anyway like that was the 16th bar of your verse yeah that's the other thing that is insanely amusing to be about this is that uh is is that like not only like that top of you know a committee to institution would be thrown asunder thrown aside right ditched from the program right that he's now

like he could just go like take whatever job he wanted because he's being paid to do it right like Todd Graham could just go be like a ski instructor these kids they just they need to learn have no plow I haven't quite gotten them to like slalom yet but we'll get him to snowplow Todd Graham's working the concession stand at the movie theater yeah I just love movies and I get to see him for free here plus the smell of popcorn you can't beat that can I get you a Diet Coke he's like a travel guide you know like he's known to like moving around the country he's probably got some good advice on places you can go probably got some family you can stay with maybe he opens like a chain of bed and breakfast something like that can he just do his own youtube show which is like a professionally produced diners and drive diners drive ins and dives like knockoff he should start telling people that he's guy fear he's dad that's you know what don't tell somebody you know That's how grandma's got Thierry's dad. I'm Cy Fieri.

I'm big guy Fierry. I'm here. I'm just here on drive-ins, dives, and drivers. Son, I remember when you were just boy, Fieri. What a time that was. Diner's and driving to another job and full-back dives. Just, just, he didn't like a Camaro or something. I think, I think, yeah, you're saying like the, whatever rental Arizona state can afford, because they're funding this production.

That really would make you realize how good guy Fieri has at his job, because Todd Graham would just be like, and that's really good. This is a competitive meal. This is a tough meal. You mean it's hard to chew? Huh? Yeah, I mean, it's wrecking my insides. Just love to compete in my mouth. My interior offensive line is just getting collapsed by this chili.

Just absolutely collapsed. Oh, that's going back, by the way. Old Miss has now extended to the most Old Miss thing, man. This happened an hour ago, and I already forgot about it. No, no, we're so not done with things that have actually happened. We haven't talked about weather. We haven't even talked about Tennessee yet. um old miss extending the uh career of matt luke the offensive line coach who was serving as the interim

after the firing a few frees um that interim tag immediately after beating mississippi state the joke going around on old miss twitter was oh yeah man these suckers make him the permanent head coach now guess what y'all i then manifested some shit summon the demon and the demon hath arrived So let's talk about Egg Bowl really quickly. Obviously, you, the simpleton, think that Mississippi State lost this game because Nick Fitzgerald got injured, terribly injured. Like, don't watch it injured during this game. What I am telling you is that Mississippi State lost this game because they didn't play and let me smell your dick during the Egg Bowl. That's why they lost.

also would have accepted what that thing smell like yeah I was going to say unlike some SEC US teams Old Miss will will 100% ban profanity and profane sing alongs the songs unlike LSU where you can pay for them

if O'Dell Beckham Jr. wants to pay for it you'll do it it's karaoke is all you're describing can you do that song about sucking a tiger dick uh yeah guys does anybody know why ls u did my neck my back instead of the national anthem that seems weird school president obj hath declared it to be the thing to do

oh you're gonna blame odell beckham for my neck my back instead of the national anthem right that's that's who you're gonna blame when jordan jefferson is sitting right over there with a best buy gift card that he slipped to the band leader Oh man Imagine the payouts you'd get Just open bidding LSU band leader

Showing up in minks To Ron Matthews just handed like What are we Why are we playing umbrella by Rihanna I don't know man Ron Matthew just gets really emotional You should play it Just move something in him

The SEC is fine Fine For you know Playing juvenile for four consecutive of hours of the CBS broadcast. Uncle Gary learned all the words. We can't have that. I just, by the way, I just saw the

verses for wipe me down in full on the Tiger Stadium Jumbotron. Just going like, man, there's a lot of words in this and also a lot of them are problem. Just say him. Coach, I don't need you to say him.

Yeah, listen, referee, I'm going to go ahead and pay you every time there's a false start. I am going to need you to do the entire chorus of back that ass up. Can I say thang? No, you cannot. You cannot say thang. Welcome Tiger fans to Death Valley, where we are offering the head of officiating

$1 million for a victory tonight. Let's hear a big cheer. What do you say, ref? It would be, crap, camera right on him. It would be in keeping with a lot of traditional folkways in Louisiana for that to be the case. That's just Louisiana politics is all we're talking about, all right? It's called pay to play, all right?

Not pay to sit on the bench. By the way, do you know, I really, I think I would pay, I think I would pay $1,000 to hear Ed Orgeron shouting out, B-O-O-O-S-I-E-B-A-Z, that's me, baby. Like, I would pay a grand for that in real life, and I'm not lying. I would write the check. it hurt grants a lot of money

but it'd be worth it just to hear it happen Coach O'Dron, what do you think was the difference I think, well, I got five on it as it turns out All right, so we have, yeah, we've like danced around the fucking nightmare shit show black hole of bad

decisions and fuck up or a and stupidness that is Tennessee football let's can i can i can i ask you to hold off all we actually say one let's want to say one nice thing i'm keep teasing this right yeah yeah oh well no let's let's let's also say um i thought what oklahoma's players did to honor the dearly departed baker mayfield the death of superman baker mayfield Baker Mayfield smiling down from heaven Missing so much That was the funniest shit

The only thing that would have been funnier Than bringing his fucking jersey out To the coin toss Would be if they had brought his jock strap instead Like on this program We came up with the silliest way Oklahoma Could pay tribute Which was the whole crowd stand up

And grab their dicks They top that more program that's fucking awesome man and then he missed two plays two plays was the length of the suspension

i like the whole joke should have run home with Twitter was like oh they're they cheap shot at baker but he didn't retaliate because he's a changed man now there was an excellent tweet like that like a whole video is you know

he's uh he gets he gets hit late he calls for the flag and then he turns calling for the flag that motion into like a silly like who was the rasslers rassers from Australia the bushwhack board Bushwhack boys

Bushwhackers what it was he starts walking out and feel like the bushwhackers because he's a change man mouth that's how he acts because he's grown up

all right sorry Spencer go ahead so Florida did hire Dan Mullen and the person I wanted to ask about this right is the uninvested party here I wanted to ask Jason like Okay, because, like, you and I probably have, Ryan, we have probably, like, vested, fixed opinions.

I wanted to, I wanted to ask Jason. I'm like, okay, Jason, is this good? Is this quantifiably or qualifiably good? What, hiring Dan Mullen? Yeah. Okay, so as a fan of a team that already has a postseason win this year, some of y'all might not even know what the postseason is, my team has a chance to record multiple wins in it. um i can say that florida iron damn mollins seem like the no brainer from the get go like it's just gonna work it's just gonna work seems pretty simple to me okay that makes me feel a little better what is your what is your misgiving my my misgivings are only this it it seems like a really good idea and for me that's never a good thing right like oh yeah what's a no brainer what bad idea would you have preferred the

they go with instead kiffin right that that's that that's the thing i think there were i think there were nothing but good options i could i could pay my gas bill or i could buy a motorcycle like from my perspective this is another example of florida um things not being as bad as like they always somehow sound like they are like the school with three national titles our lifetime, as I constantly reiterate. Your fucking, what, fourth choice was Willie Taggart? Who would be awesome?

Yeah, no, we had we had we had nothing but good problems here, right? And Dan Mullen's been absolutely, like he has been the best coach in the history of Mississippi State football, right?

Like modern Mississippi State football. Working with nothing, correct? Maybe the only, was there even anyone there before i can't say people people go jacky sherrill go back and look jacky sherrill's record there ain't all that and he left with a little bit of a you know left with the little bit of a problem yeah yeah whereas whereas dan there is an nca problem in the state is it is it is it at dan school nope i would just also like to point this out by the way You want to know what some, like, Kaiser Soze shit is?

It's walking away from the Mississippi State job without an NCAA case as a blot on your record and your opponent in ruins. All, all with, oh, nothing happened. Nothing happened. Didn't do a thing. See, don't you want to see FSU get death penaltyed? you'd be like man Florida state's a mess man how did that happen

how did they get all these recordings of recruits that both Florida and Florida state were going to suddenly admitting to like getting cash during the recruiting process how did that fans good at this shit I'm trying to tell you good coach the NCAA guys just noticing

details from the wall suddenly working its way into the narrative how did he do it yeah you're i think you're overthinking it probably probably i do know this um got a solid correlation between him and and good to great college quarterbacks i know that um he's had a pretty good record of of hiring assistance maybe this year accepted but defensive like we oh buddy look at we might get that one oh man we might get some emotional blitzing up the numbers um like all all all our all our uh all our jokes about him now they're totally real

go look up like 40 yard plays allowed 50 yard plays aloud 50 yard plays allowed all that stuff mississippi state is aggressive aggressive they give up long plays aggressively they have passionate blown coverages get the defense off the field by it means necessary Todd Grantham would be Todd Grantham lives every day like it's diehardt like it's diehard like i think we should wait for backup fuck it we're going in you don't have a gun or shoes i said we're going in you be kaiye

double a got blitz yeah you know there's a slant open behind that you be kaii triple a get blitz Hans gruber that's that's it just hey hans

Todd grantham talking into like his next tell chirping cell phone which i'm convinced Todd Grantham still has an ex-tel. Do you have a play card tape to your back? No! See, they don't charge you for the chirps. Texts, phone calls, yeah,

but chirps are free. Why don't you need to write down the word blitz? All I do is yell it. We might be getting that. But listen, man, you put Dan Mullen in charge of the beautiful machine, particularly

one nice thing about Mullen that I'm going to feel good about here. He's one of the guys who really pressed big for facilities at Mississippi State. Florida's got a couple of facilities upgrades in the works. He'll definitely push for him. It's not going to be shy about it.

Also, not too personable. We can't have a Florida coach who's too personable. It's against our rules. We need somebody who's a little weird. We need somebody who's a little prickly. Yeah, somebody who can take normal human interactions and make you say like, God, he's kind of a dick. And that's why Spencer Hall is going to be a great Florida head coach one day.

Also, he loves to eat mall pizza. That sounds a foul right in Florida. Absolutely love Sabaro. All right. So we've teased it enough. I'm going to lead us up to sort of the detonation zone regarding the Tennessee jobs. So Tennessee lost to Vanderbilt, sealing their first winless conference. season, a conference record in the SEC, ever.

A terrible season all around for Tennessee. Within 24 hours on either, or 12 hours, I should say, of either side of the game. He had groomers popping up again. John Gruden somehow through, I think, Jason LaCanfora saying that he was again talking to Tennessee, and then you had Mike Leach being a, a, associated with the job in this weird sort of like, well, if he, if offered, he would take it, which is a thing also that's been said about Mack Brown and Arizona State, but we're not going to get off into that. And then a new name wandered into the Tennessee universe.

Greg Shiano, formerly of Rutgers, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Marcia, and most currently on staff at Ohio State. Once it was leaked, as all these jobs are, that something was in the work, something was going to be announced, things were happening, wheels were in motion, quills were being readied. What was the reaction of Tennessee fans,

legislators, astronauts, whoever? Kane! the wrestler Cain Who is running for mayor of Knox County To be clear Correct correct But also against this Uniformly Horrified

Is I think The way that anyone At Tennessee reacted to this pick Okay Including yeah a number of legislators And yeah Including like you know

Like people who owned people who have season tickets people who give to the program right you had you had Albert Haynesworth taking advantage of 280 characters you know you had all sorts of former vols like the whole fucking stage just said

no no no no no no no no no horrified like like just just for not even for non-football reasons for football reasons Stephen White who writes for us at sbnation dot com Stephen White saying is like it's weird. How aggressive some media

folks are pushing Shiano, which there's a reason for that, by the way. Like they have memory hold his time here in Tampa and the Penn State stuff, which needs some clarification. Very, very weird. Very, very weird is Stephen White's own thing. Which, Stephen White's got a point

by the way that I want to return to, right? Which is this, which is, we hired Derek fucking Dooley and no one protested. It is amazing the way people are trying to paint the shit like Shiano is some kind of victim. Fuck him. He isn't entitled to the Tennessee job.

Also this. And why I pre-tell? More, Stephen. If Tennessee is such a bad job, are so many football journalists apoplectic that Shiaano may not get it now. Like I said earlier, very interesting. There's a reason for that, by the way.

Shiano's awesome with the media. It's always been awesome with the media. Now, he's also, to be fair, in context, a good football coach. there's only one reason Rutgers is ever good all right and that's because it took four years to dig them up to seven wins in the big east and then led them to uh what is a fairly consistent run a good run historically from 2005 when they go seven and five they win 11 games in 2006 uh and are ranked and then all the way through 2011 when eventually after a nine and four season uh Greg Shiano takes the Tampa Bay, or I'm sorry, he took the Tampa Bay job then, correct? Yes, this was after Chip Kelly almost took it and then backed out, if you recall. Yeah.

So, with all that said, after about five hours of, it's a done deal, Greg Shiano signed a memorandum of understanding. Guess what? They backed out. There wasn't actually an understanding. There were some things that weren't understood at the time, so to speak. There was a memorandum, and then there wasn't. And he's not going to be the coach at Tennessee. After, it wasn't even that much, like, six hours or so of social media bloodletting

and, like, actual physical protests, and people walking around with, like, fucking higher kiffin signs and the rock in knoxville getting painted with like the absolute uh worst possible reading of the allegation against gregiana which it was in the sandatsky trial might mcquiry said at some point apparently during a long series of questioning that someone told him tom bradley that told him yeah that that tom John Bradley told him that Bradley had heard from Shiano that Shianu knew, which now we're talking about like secondhand hearsay. Double hearsay. Some great, a lot of legal lessons here for y'all.

That's not exactly ironclad proof that Greg Shiano knew. Not in the least. Now, I will tell you this. That's also a lot to run with to say that this was an uncorroborated hearsay allegation in an investigation combined with the Twitter mob, the social media's. bringing this guy down. No, no, no, no. That's horse shit. That's not how this happened, okay? This happened at the grassroots level. This happened because people at Tennessee were repelled by the idea of this guy being their coach. And not just for that reason. I know that's what ends up on the rock, and I know that's what everyone's going to see, right, when they

do this. But at the same time, that is totally not why this happened, okay? This happened because people started pulling money out of the situation when they saw that this is who the AD it picked and was running with, all right? For football reasons alone, you could get this. Because you know who likes working with Greg Shiano? No one. Media members, that's it. And I don't think media members can play guard or tackle.

Some could. I know Andy Staples is out there, and I don't want to impugn his abilities. But other than him. The past peak, man. Oh, Andy. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. Andy would admit it happily.

Yeah, also, probably worth pointing out that Tennessee just paid out a $2 million settlement for sexual assault allegations. You may recall that Butch Jones accused, I think, one of the members of the team who's later left of his own accord or was dismissed. I honestly don't remember of being a traitor. for cooperating with a police investigation if that sounds right um so so there's there's a lot of reasons why tennessee should stay away from somebody who even may have used incredibly poor judgment regarding improper sexual contact you know i the issues of proof a hundred percent there. The idea that he is having his name

drug through the mud doesn't feel entirely to the point. The idea that like Greg Shano can never get a head coaching job anywhere else now because of this. I hope that Tennessee realizes now that they need somebody

who has not just like a clean record on this, but a good record on this. Somebody who has shown that they know how to handle these situations and handle them well. I don't. The whole thing just seems so like ill-conceived to the point where now we're out here asking, is the fucking AD even going to be involved with this coaching search anymore? He fucked it up so badly. Yeah. Like, by the way, this is another thing too, right? One, there's going to be the misinterpretation that an internet mob completely took down Greg Shiano on a false accusation. No, it would be an absolutely terrible visual if this is where our starting line is, right? If your line of scrimmage at the higher is, well, listen, University with a troubled record of recent sexual assault, you know, and discrimination, sexual harassing, right?

If your line of scrimmage in that context starts that, well, you know, he didn't know about this, but was mentioned in the case, that's a bad place for you to even start, right? too, culturally, you just got off of a fit of a guy who is a lot like Greg Shiano in the way that he does things, right? Kind of a square-headed control freak. Yes, all coaches are control freaks, but there's different kinds, right? And it looks to me like you were just hiring another one.

A guy who sounds a lot like Butch Jones. Yeah, like Bush Jones, if he didn't water him enough. Right, like a guy who's going to walk in, like, who's going to walk in with his like 15 slogan and be like, well, first, We're going to keep chopping wood. Well, like, if Butch is Squirtle, this is War Turtle. Right.

Just in that. There's a lot going on here. Like, did Greg Shiano deserve to be hired as a Power 5 head coach? Eh, I don't know, give or take. You know, based on just his on-field production and all that. You know, based on the fact that he's like a well-known dick and like, you know, not great for athletes and like all the verified confirmed stuff. Um, I think there's an easy case against him being in charge of student athletes in the face of a university and all that. Uh, if we're talking about like allegations, yeah, you got to, you know, you got to factor that stuff in, you know, and like you're saying, if you're Tennessee, you need someone who's not just, well, we think he's probably clean or there's nothing we prove. It's more, okay, we know he's actively a good dude. Um, so, I mean, there's just a lot going on here. Like, no, I don't really feel bad. for Greg Schenno, but at the same time, it's just wild to see

just something being run with, like it's facts when it's, no one knows. Well, here's what all coaching searches come down to, and all coaching hires. What you're selling to your fan base is the idea that change is possible, that improvement is out there, that a new day lies within your almost immediate grasp. And to do that, you have to bring somebody who, like, you can convincingly sell that.

It doesn't always, listen, like, Florida fans felt fine about Jim, felt, like, I think pretty good about Jim McIlwain. They saw what he'd done in Colorado State, and they said, okay, here's an offensive-minded guy who, you know, has done pretty well with far less talent than he'll be able to get here at Florida. That sounds great. It didn't work out that way. But what all of these hires are about is,

Like, it's why Mike Riley was doomed at the start at Nebraska's. You couldn't sell anybody at Nebraska that Mike Riley is the path forward. It's why PJ Fleck probably got, it's part of why he got an extension in a not very good Minnesota year. Because Minnesota fans, at least enough of them, can buy that PJ Fleck will do things in such a way that Minnesota will improve over the long term for it. It's the best thing that UCLA did. There are a ton of reasons to question whether Chip Kelly will work out at UCLA. The Pac-12 is a much more competitive conference than it was when he got started at Oregon. He has a completely different recruiting situation now with USC in his own backyard.

He's been away from the game. His offense is not as surprising and innovative and new as it was when he was getting things cranked up. and Eugene, but you get to tell UCLA fans that, like, yes, this is something you can believe in and you can have excitement in. For every possible reason, Greg Shiano did not check any of those boxes. He did not make you feel better about where Tennessee was going to go football-wise. He did not make you feel better about where Tennessee was going to go culture-wise or national prominence-wise or any of the... He did nothing. He did absolutely nothing. And, you know, John Gruden, as baffling a hire as it would have been, that at least to that fan base would have set the right tone in terms of like, here's a reason to believe.

Here's a reason that you can be proud of the future of Tennessee football. And they just totally fucking flubbed it. Yeah. And a step further, by the way, another angle here, okay? All of these people we've talked about getting hired, by the way. okay it will include like florida in this as well okay dan mullen white guy greg chiano white guy matt luke in a room carried over whatever white guy right fired kevin someone likely replacement jimbo fisher white guy right oh if there were only a university

of tennessee alum who was a bright rising star African American, right, who had, oh, I don't know, a serious legacy at the university is their only recent national title QB, not maybe running a, maybe running a Power 5 championship potential offense like this very year. Right. And grooming a, grooming a first round NFL pick while recruiting one of the nation's like most important hotbeds, right? If only that assistant, we're waiting for a chance to come home. But no, you bypassed him for what?

A turgulent recycled pick off the NFL pile. Just a disaster. Start to finish on every front, right? Including from a diversity perspective.

Yeah, it's the most surprising thing about all of it is that they seem so blissfully unaware that it would go this badly. Like how bad of a read how bad of a read do you have to have

on your fan base to know that they will see Greg Shiano and for all of the reasons we mentioned just feel totally down on it. I bet you couldn't find 200 Tennessee fans that think Greg Shiano is a good choice for this job. I bet you couldn't.

Yeah, I mean I do wonder like what were they picturing the reaction was going to be. Oh yeah, that's a good hire. He won at Rutgers in 2006. Like, do they not understand that Tennessee doesn't want to be in the same sentence as fucking Rutgers? Is that hard? Is that, like, confusing to anybody?

He did, he did hold Iowa to, um, less than it's season high in scoring this season. That's true. That's true. Congratulations. When I can roll, when I can roll off the couch in your coaching search and be like, hey, go grab Mike Leach. He'll be the more stable, less controversial pick. yeah i mean even kevin like just go get kevin someone at this point you know like there are any

number of coaches that would be more interesting better chance of success far less unpleasant in terms of background and you know it's it's definitely not just the sexual assault issues it's definitely not just the pen state issues it's like you said he has all these former players the thing he's a fucking dick. It's just... I'll say this. It took all the attention away from Tennessee's terrible season.

It has succeeded in... Nobody is talking about what Tennessee did on the field this year. Was that the move all along, I guess? I guess so. I guess so. Just fucking brilliant. By the way, again, offering slaps for anybody who wants to make Craig Shiano the martyr

here. All right. Yeah, there's no... Don't do that. oh no no already happened media had already had an article up i guarantee you three or four of the people who use him as a source in the media consistently while he tries to get another better job and very effectively works that tree they'll totally say this as well they'll pop a right in let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's can we end on a happier note and do some uh charity reads be great my charity read from james First, go Astros.

I don't know who they are, but congratulations to them. Whoever, I'm sure they did something amazing. Second, y'all spelled Y-A-A-L-L-L, not Y-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-L. I know it's dumb to be pedantic in general, even dumber to be pedantic about something like this. But this is the dumb hell I'm willing to die on. It's important to know what dumb hill you're willing to die on. So I approve James. Thank you for your charity.

your kindness, and you're giving to those who have been affected by natural disasters this year. Thank you, James. If you mistakenly think that the apostrophe goes after the A instead of in front of it, stop it. Stop it right now. Like, what I always wonder is what do people think is being abbreviated out? Do you think y'all is short for y'all? No, it's short for you all. I don't know.

Just think through it, y'all. maybe go to school maybe spend an hour or two in a library if you can't figure out y'all from Tyler who donated $50.46 to disaster relief at the time he donated it had been 5,046 days since Virginia beat Virginia Tech

the number has since climb and we'll continue to do so we'll continue so I believe Tyler owes at least another $3.65 to a disaster relief. Yeah, this was good. This was a good spite. He called a shot early. Virginia, it looked better this year than they did last year for sure. Virginia Tech had looked decent, but it had been uneven. It didn't matter. Commonwealth Cup went in the exact same way. Before I get to this last one, a few shoutouts to Chris Moritz, Daniel Kelly, Ben Gelman

Chomsky. Calvin Williamson, thank you for your donations. This is from Jake. Now, Jake wrote in and asked if we could do an ad read, urging our listeners to call their representatives to demand that the Trump organization's assets as well as Donald Trump's personal assets be expropriated to pay for food, water, and infrastructure repair in Puerto Rico. I told him that I was willing to compromise thusly. I would like us to start calling the White House and convincing Donald Trump that we should add Puerto Rico as a state. And you're saying, well, how are we going to get him to do this? There doesn't seem to be any, like, direct benefit. We're going to appeal to his ego. We've had so many presidents over the last, over all of the presidents within our lifetimes have not added a single star to the flag. It's always been 50. They haven't had the ambition, the guts, the deal power to put a 50-first star on the flag. So we're challenging you.

President Trump put that 51st star up there. Show him how bad you are. Show him what a big, strong boy. Big strong boy you are. Do we have anything else left to talk about this week? Let's, without stepping on the preview thing, just this, that... I wanted to talk about one question.

One question that I think is really, really hard. Who do you get to come in and take this Arkansas job? I haven't even thought of, like, honestly, with all the bullshit that happened in the last 24 hours, I haven't even thought about the Arkansas job once. I've come back to this one because I now realize I'm like, I want somebody to be forced into the corner of, well fuck it I mean Mike Leach is being bandied about for this job as well is he not

he is he is yeah it is open it is a possibility I also feel like I also feel like Arkansas could do that I feel like Tennessee might man I don't know like of all the unlikely

places Tennessee might end up hiring somebody interesting on accident Tennessee might just see if Brady Hogue might just get the job for a year just to let everything die down at this point just so no one will pay attention like tennessee is so damn toxic now for a million reasons that it's got to be somebody like mike leach like he ain't afraid what does he care it's this is interesting to him you know he's just going to come in and be fascinated oh there's there's people on fire in my office that's that's amazing

Tennessee football Do you want to die? Yes, please.