Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 8.10: Tennessee Group Text Hell

Episode Date: March 27, 2018

John Currie got fired by Tennessee when the year was still 2017, yet we, the idiot sports internet, are still talking about it in March 2018. Why? Because the Vols decided to give the world a BUNCH of Currie's text messages, allowing us to discuss important matters like:Why Gogo Inflight is a Georgia weaponGroup texts, and the misery they present to those dragged into them unwillinglyItalian Brady HokeThe worst email you can get from your boss that isn't directly hostile or unprofessionalThat Disney and Pixar bracket, which was not sent to Currie but would have been had it come up at the time My theory? Tennessee's doing this to distract us from talking or thinking about football. Watch them lose to Vanderbilt by 18 next year and "oh we found a bunch of John Currie's search history entries, here you go!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. This is the internet's only college football podcast. And that's why we're going to spend most of this edition talking about text messages. Emails. Forms of communication. Ways of conveying information from one party to another. Or, I don't know, in the case of University of Tennessee Athletic Director, now fired, John Curry. what feels like 428,000 people trying to convey information to one in the span of about, I don't know, feels like five days, maybe four days total.

Anyway, we're going to talk about that because this week we got a lot of, we got a lot of public information request answered, and it turns out that when you fire a coach or people want you to fire a coach, oh, that's just the start of the adventure people. because in the SEC, it just means more. And by it means more, I mean pages. I mean, when people find out not only that you have fired your coach, but that you're going to hire somebody that they don't like, it means how many pages? Joining me or Jason and Ryan, either one of you. Again, how many pages on a single day, November 26th, 2017,

how many pages worth of texts, threats, messages, signals, Might be a generous way to call it. Invective, calumny, slander, liable. I know one of them's only written, but throw both of them in there because if you read them, sure, they qualify for whatever you want to call them. How many pages did John Curry receive on November 26th? I counted them earlier today, so I'm cheating. I already know the answer.

So on the day that the Greg Shiano News came out, which was the event that started the onslaught, within three hours it was 287 pages worth of texts um not 287 texts 287 pages of texts plus emails and who knows whatever else yep and that was before the um the transmission cut off if you look at the documents there's a break between 606 and 953 there's like three hours we don't even know about so it could have been twice that there's just an all told that day 335 pages 335 pages on one phone

dude had two phones okay just remember that next time you're struggling writing your novel listener next time you're like oh I'm only through 78 pages Tennessee fans wrote a novel in half a day is the novel good no is it colorful it's kind of good

it's got really good parts it's a little directionless but so is the Tennessee coaching search so who can blame them, right what you know. Yeah, I like that. So the famous stuff that people saw, people pulled out, the newsworthy stuff from the big document dump,

you know, the coaches coming and going, and, oh, Tennessee wants Dave Doran, and Dave Doran can't get a call back and all that stuff. That was from John Curry's second phone, which really spun into a thing Monday morning about 15 hours after the sheer madness. grip the countryside um but the the first phone fans just kept going they had that number they didn't have the second important business phone so the first phone just became like a community

dump for um collective insanity just people just kept bombarding that for five and a half days um and then the transmission cuts off we don't know what happens after they're probably still texting it i don't know yeah i think of that have we called it have we tried to call it we should we should just call up John Curry you know because if you notice and you actually make it all the way

to the end of these which sadly I think Jason and I both did at least oh yeah yeah if you make it all the way at the end it's quite a journey because some people who have participated in the entire cycle

I think it's very hard to read like 300 or 400 pages of anything and not sort of at least come to a fuller understanding of everyone as a person is that fair to say yeah there's that

like the weird thing is seeing all these people as numbers there's no way to identify like you know half of them are calling from the same area code so there's no way to distinguish who is saying what so they sort of all feel like one person like it really feels like you're reading a hive mind debating

itself especially once curry is plugged into various group chats which sounds like absolute hell being stuck in like at one point it has to be at least four or five different group chats because for the Bruce Feldman tweet about Dave Doran Tennessee or Jeff Brom turning down Tennessee shows up like five different times so it has to be at least five different group chats going up imagine that's that's your inbox that's hell let's rewind here and just clarify that point for anyone listening what happened during this is not only did

get John Curry's personal cell phone number okay the one he uses for the university at least that's why we're able to see any of this because it was the university cell phone and public records in the state of Tennessee are foiable if you're if you're a resident of the state right if Tennessee doesn't like you anymore so yeah let's let's unpack that a little bit yeah because you're right in in the broadest possible terms this all seems totally normal. You ask for public documents from a

state institution like the University of Tennessee. They redact, you know, sensitive information or stuff that's subject to attorney-client privilege or things that are part of a pending investigation. I know all this because they used to be a FOIA officer, and

God was that fun. And then they sort of like haggle with you a little bit, they give you a little bit, you fight, you say, I know there's more. Nope. Not what happened here what does not happen is you do not say here is his cell phone here is all of it here is literally all of it uh spencer remind me who's the current athletic director at the university of tennessee well that'd be former coach phil thommer let me ask you what do you think would happen

if we foyer and phil fulmer's phone records i think they would straight up tell us phil fulmer doesn't know how to use a phone would we believe them coach's hands on man he'll either when he says he'll at you he means literally across the holler like yeah we'd kind of believe it to be fair like it's fucking wild that somebody just said yeah you know what give it give it all of it give them all of it imagine fucking john curry it's march he got fired months ago he has been not involved with the university of tennessee for a while he's waking up last week just thinking like oh you know let's see how my bracket's doing spring training's underway gotta get looking for a new job but not a big hurry i got i negotiated this buyout with the university of tennessee i'm sure we're on good terms since i took less than what i was owed hey what's going on in this news media oh god oh dear god although you know that's that's one thing right that they released everything and there are phil fulmer's emails in here if you look at them Scandal-free.

Scandal-proof. They're just forwards. They're just him going, well, you know, seems like a tough time they're having up there. If only somebody could come and fix it all for everybody.

And the big dump pack does happen to include fans saying like, we need Fulmer to take this whole thing back over. That's it. Like most of the emails are basically like, hey, man, you know, it'd be great if Phil Fulmer came over here.

Phil Fulmer's just over there, hitting forward. Forward. that's all he knows how to do, right? He's like, I don't know, the AOL machine tells me to hit the forward. There is one part of this I do, I do want us to address. As part of this exchange, John Curry contacted a member of sports media and basically said, you know, hey, it'd be doing me a solid if you could sort of get out there and beat the drum in favor of Greg Shiano, who were hiring.

And I think, you know, people have a lot of strong opinions about whether that's okay and whether that's normal. And all I want to focus on is this. Why would you go to, I mean, we're sports media members to some extent, sad as that is, we can't move any public opinion at all. If you're going to do this, you don't go to a media member. You go to the message board. you go find, you know, Wynchuler 77 or Cruella DeVall and you say, hey,

I need you to write some dope posts about how Greg Shianos evolve through and through and how Mike Gundy probably doesn't even like boats or dogs. Like, that's where you go. You go straight to the message board, folks. If you don't have a message board account yourself,

which that's the disappointing thing from all of this, is that if Tennessee really did release all publicly available information, that means John Curry did not have a VolQuest or the like message board account and therefore was derelict in his duties. I mean, I will not. That's where it all went wrong. I think what you do is you get a recruit to say it's good and then you're solid. If like, you know, five-star whatever had come out and said like, yeah, I'm pretty sure they tried that.

The recruits refer to the AD as Coach Curry. which that's kind of cute. You know, and he tells them, like, study up, study hard kids. And then a certain Tennessee interim coach has to come in and remind the AD of contact rules. What was that coach's name? The interim coach at the time? Brady Hoke, proud member of Tennessee football,

I haven't updated my LinkedIn. So as far as you know, I'm still there. Yeah. And Brady Hoke made a few appearances on both phones. and he is easily spotable from afar because he's the only one along with like two or three people one of whom is accused of being a Bernie Sanders parody account who tweet in all caps and not even like short burst like some of it sometimes you get like okay look forward to it or on the bus to hotel I will call when we get to the hotel and some of that just like okay

that's fine. But then there are like multi-sentence. Like, what's going on here? Option A is Brady Hoke never has his reading glasses on when he's texting. Option B, Brady Hoke uses talk to text and just screams at his phone. The whole just screams at his phone. It's like, whoa, okay, we get it. This is what you want.

By the way, when you say screaming at, in his phone. I just see it like, if you remember, there's that once, like, infamous scene in the Gagnum style video where Saya is screaming at a butt. That's what I see, like, him like, brah! Screaming at the iPhone, like at some lady's butt. We obviously got a lot of requests to read these in Brady Hope Voice. I am also going to read a couple of them in Brady Hope Voice in Italian, but I think rather than sort of just do that in one fell swoop, we're just going to continue talking and I'm just going to interrupt you two randomly with Brady Hook scream texts.

I think that's a great plan. Jason, what I wanted to mention, there's one point where clearly... Tonight would work best after 6.30, if that works. Sorry, I just wanted to test you there. Just over the top, man. all that enthusiasm i know i know one thing he may be doing voice to text but he's not wearing a headset that's for you michigan fans it's for you i love you i think the reason he does all caps it's the same as his coaching style all claps other other thing go through go through all these text messages from

brady hoke detach yourself from context all of them could be about ordering calzones all of them all of them Tonight would work best After 630 of that works About Calzones Okay look forward to it About Calzones John very sorry to hear what has happened

This is the bullcrap That college football has become If I can be of any help Please let me know About Calzones That's true Not about football You got a Calzone

Let's talk about it Jason what I wanted to say Is that There's a point where clearly Curry's number becomes, if not public knowledge, at least circulated knowledge. Because at that point in the text messages, like prior to that, these go back to like, I don't know, September or something. And they're pretty mundane. He takes a lot of meetings at 7 a.m. at the Waffle House on Paper Mill Road, which I guess is a thing. It's a fine place to have

breakfast meetings. There's the Waffle House if you want to be anonymous, right? He has a lot of like, oh thinking about you hey how you doing kind of things he has a lot of like oh you got a funeral that's too bad we should send him something a lot of real boring administrative stuff even the kind of mundane administrative things like hey i don't know how to adjust the heat in my office which he gets in like a little hot seat joke there he's like if my job wasn't hot enough yeah there's one where he needs IT to help him with a computer the response is have you tried turning it off and back on we don't hear anything so I assume it worked.

Yeah. I'm not making that up. That's in there. But then once the crisis hits and you start seeing things like, hey, this is Clay Travis, which there is. There's one mention of his name in there, which is, hey, this is Clay Travis and you don't really see a clear response. You see different journalists.

You see Jimmy Hyams. He's like a long time Knoxville guy in there, like going, oh, there's a lot of misinformation. That's true. But then you start seeing things like, I don't know, a couple of random Florida fans are in there, which is like Kate Butch forever, go caterers. Yeah, right after the Shiano thing, 13 minutes after the first report was when all hell broke loose. And pretty early on,

there's a Kentucky fan who is only identifiable by area code saying, I'm a lifelong vol. And this is a great hire. They're calling from Lexington. So. Yeah, those are my favorite, which is, even forever. Yeah, bring on Shiano. That sounds awesome. Go dogs.

So, when we say that these people are like texting John Curry, it's not exactly like that. John Curry's number at this, at some point gets, I guess, circulated and passed around so that people begin adding them to their personal group chats, like with their bros, where I don't know, they talk about a wide array of topics based on these messages alone. So they just add him. Now, keep in mind, John Curry is blocking them at one point, right? Like, he can block the number so that he's no longer included in these insane group chats, which, I don't know, we have a number of different varying ages here, but people who are all, I guess, reasonably literate with group electronic communication. Jason, do you participate in a regular group

text with like bros no no i have um like slack for work and like twitter and email and so on that's that's enough typing okay my wife's in a few she's about my same age so it is a still thing still a thing but no yeah ryan no my same thing my wife has a long-standing one with some of her friends i i i don't have friends okay that's that's good that's good no one's surprised by that but that's fine guess who got a lot of friends sometime around November 26 John Curry

John Curry got all the friends he could ever want because they start to add him to these long group text and he's blocking them but if you send them they still become part of like the transcript on your phone right even if they're blocked

so when you request them you get these idiots and I say idiots affectionately because you're all kind of brilliant for doing this in the first place. But you get these people talking about just a smorgasbord of topics, right? So in the middle of this long, like, hey, fuck you, man, don't hire Shiano. He ran a child sex ring. There's a lot of people who are very mistaken about and believe what they want to believe about Greg Shiano.

Did you see? He and Obama, they got together and they're going to invade Mars for the gays. Like, there's a lot of that in the group chat of people who basically... Which, which? They make a Barack Obama. Barack Obama's never denied those charges. Never, no. Not once.

What's he hiding? That's what I want to know. Why isn't he still president? So there's a lot of people who believe that the National Park Police and Nancy Pelosi are coming to steal the riches of all football. Right? They're just believing whatever they want. Like, you put. Shiano in there, guess what happens next?

That's right. Sharia law. You seen that offense? It sucks. That's what happened to Travis Henry. They disappeared him. He's in a CIA Black site right now. So there's a lot of that. But there's also a lot of people discussing things in this transcript, right?

In between all of the like, I will never give you a dollar again. There's a lot of like talking about Bitcoin. and people who are talking about at one point they're like in a group chat it's like Curry if you do this you completely like betray my trust as a fall fan by the way the Titans have three rushing yards through two quarters but that's the next line yeah there's after the group chats take over it's the Sunday night there's a long fantasy football

debate about Julio versus Antonio Brown Monday morning, there is someone sharing sloth facts. Someone else is quoting Lowell Pump. Someone is quoting, or people are dropping in a tweet by at lucidity that reads, don't fucking call yourself festive if you can't fit an entire Christmas tree in your ass. Alongside Donald Trump announcing the fake news awards. Those two tweets were pretty much neck and neck in the group. chats shortly after that there is a debate about whether the earth is flat or not um someone says

john's so that's okay question a statue juror dave brandon a stato fori a mob mentality come me have fatso melio and vasukiare we're dietro to this pastro Yes, are de qualsiassi, a utu fatemi, de connocherre. Was that Japanese Brady Hoke? No, it was Italian,

but his pronunciation could lead you to believe that it was the language of Japan. Yeah, I wonder if Bertie Hoke, if there's any language you could hear him

speaking and you could cite it accurately. Boystro gracivia, Tomarish. Thank you, Brady. Yeah, there's my favorite turn in that group. There's so much random humanity interspersed with this, by the way, because toward the end, when you're getting down into all of these things,

including, by the way, a digression where I think one of the threads that they get thrown in or that he gets thrown in is a conversation between Tennessee undergrads or people who are like, I don't know, just sort of out of school. there's a lot of young people in one particular chat who are sort of at least like grad or very barely post grad right and one of them is applying for an internship at the ringer and somehow in a conversation about it

it comes up do you think Bill Simmons smokes weed like you know a good three or four line conversation I'm like nah he's not down no way is Bill Simmons smoke weed so that's in there but toward the end I love it now I forget which one it is but toward the end these guys are discussing

after everyone's been fired they're like oh yeah man it fells back and everything and they kind of I guess one of them remembers that they're still C-Cing John Curry on everything said here they're like hey man like you know we're not bitter

like no anger I was forgiven man you're one of us now John we've been through a lot yeah yeah this is day six right before Curry is about to be fired and I quote three lines

from the same number. You are right, Curry. And man, if you don't want to talk football, that's okay. You can talk to us about anything. There are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine people on this chat. Counting Curry. We have accepted you, Curry. You're just like us, John Curry. You have no power in Tennessee athletics whatsoever. Shortly after that, get your head out of your ass and get the ball's the best coach in the country. Spend the money you said T and had or you can get out give up like the loser you are you dumbass meanwhile like let's it's important to remember that this is not this is not john curry like okay we've announced the greg shano hire and now we're just doing damage control and he's the coach like nope that's not what happens he's getting yelled at

not through text messages by people on the u t board and other people at the university and probably the other people reaching out to him on his third and fourth phone. And he's trying to hire. So, so, like, imagine you're John Curry and you're sitting down to talk to Mike Leach. And you're like, excuse me, I just got to silence this. Just, yeah, I absolutely, yeah. I'm just going to. That must, oh, what a, oh, Jesus.

Why would anybody ever work? in college athletics why what a terrible job my favorite um my other favorite there's a long digression on let's see i guess this would be thursday the day yeah the day before he's fired there's a long digression um everyone is live tweeting into currie's inbox tiger woods his whole round yeah um tiger woods tiger back feels like 98 no it doesn't because Tennessee football sucks so has Tiger since his wife beat him our wife was Lane Kiffin

there's a lot of Lane Kiffin in here they're fully aware of what he did and they're fully aware of how badly they want him back I really want to go back to a non-John Curry text message as much of a tale of humanity and pathos that the messages to and from Curry's company

issued phone are and they are like i feel like i went on a journey by reading all of them there is an email that he gets um from chancellor beverly davenport you know head of the whole shebang at the university of tennessee and um it's harrowing because um as i think most people have noticed since friday at one point curry is on a plane for six hours and nobody sort of knows what's going on because he's getting yelled at by everybody and he's heading out to California and I don't think people really realize that he was out there to meet with Mike Leach and that the Dave Doran thing had fallen through. This information had asymmetrically sifted down through the various power players at Tennessee and not in a good way, right?

Like a house settling unevenly it was not a good result. And then at the worst possible time the Wi-Fi goes out on the plane. So he, gets, he gets nothing. Damn you, go-go! Go-Go! Go-Go's a Georgia fan, I didn't told you. Yeah. Go-Go-Go air fails John Curry

at the worst possible time. Run the damn ball, go-go. So when he gets off the plane, he sends an apologetic email being like, hey, I'm out here and do this stuff. And if you've ever been in like a frantic and bad spot at work, you'll read this email

and like your stomach would sort of twist up and knots of the worst kind of memory because you've probably gotten this email. This is from his boss, right? Thank you for the email. I trust you're on your way back to Knoxville as I requested in my text this afternoon. It's already bad.

That's really bad. This morning we tried for six hours to contact you about the state of the search. Oh, God damn, you go-go! This is already bad. Like, you know you're fired after the first two sentences, right? You're done. Done!

It's going to get worse. Fourth sentence. After finally connecting, comma. God, you're so fucking fired. After finally connecting, piece of shit. You inform me you were in California heading into a meeting with Mike Leach. This was the first I'd heard of this meeting.

Oh, God. Done, done, done. It's like, these are just nails in an already sealed, welded shut coffin. Because of the confusion from earlier in the day with the other candidate, God damn it, could you be any less competent? I like how we don't even know which candidate There were so many. No.

Just the other house fire. I don't know which one. I feel like that might have been Kevin Sumlin, but who could say? I asked you... You know what, Tennessee fans, it was Bill Belichick. You heard it here first. I asked you not to pursue any discussions about employment with any additional candidates. I would like to meet with you in my office at 9 a.m. tomorrow.

Oh, shit. Parenthetical, December 1st, to continue this. discussion. Okay, Bev put the date in there. What time, what time did she send this email? Um, I don't have the time stamp on it. It's not good. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So, so now there was an out here that he failed to take advantage of. Do you know what that out was? Hmm. I'm pretty sure at the time Washington State had an opening for an athletic director and I think he should have just switched it been like, nope, I'm interviewing for that job. Fuck it.

Listen. I'm already done. I'm already out here. Hey, Wazoo. Coach, Coach Leach, take me with you. And amid all this, Mike Leach is emailing Curry to say, I enjoyed talking with you. We should drink many beers together and just like the weirdest Mike Leach stuff.

Like, you know, just picture, I don't have it in front of me. But however, Mike Leach would say, I would like to work at your job. That's what's happening in his inbox. There's a subsequent email that he sends or text message. that he sends to Leach saying Hey listen I gotta get back man It'd be great to work with you sometime And Leach instantly recognizes what's happened

It happens and goes Hey if there's anything I can do for you and your family Because you just lost your job That's cool Like he knows He's like oh Oh okay So this whole thing just fell through

And you just lost your job Cool Hey man That's been great Like completely fulfilling His role as Random dude you meet on a space station right in a doomed sort of like space opera right like hey there's the kooky mechanic on this place

that's going to blow up in five minutes he's the mechanic who who's getting out of this fine you're the one blowing up yeah yeah it's not even it's not even it's like you landed on the planet to rescue him and then he looks and he's like huh notice the leak in your suit anyway uh if there's anything you want me to tell the folks back on earth i'd be happy we will miss you and consider you a hero yeah you landed on his planet and you're alert to his atmosphere. Oh boy. That's unfortunate.

If I get this email like six hours into a frantic search, which John Curry earlier this day, it's earlier this day on this very day had said, well, whatever happens today, it's going to be epic. So I think he knew. Yeah, it's going to get bad, y'all. Let's just figure out how, let's figure out whether I'm going to land this burning plane or not. Reader, he did not. If you get this email at any point in your professional career, just stay where you're at.

You live there now, right? If you'd get this and you're just, you're in Perth, Australia, the other side of the world, and you get this email, guess where you live? You live in Perth now. Send for your stuff and your family. Yeah, make them come to you to chew your ass out. I would like to meet with you in my office. Show to my office at 9 in the morning. I'm already on the West Coast.

You kidding me? I know I'm fired. How can this get worse? I love that. I would like to meet with you at my office. Hey, you know, Bev, it's good to want things in life. You want to talk to me? Come find me, fuckers.

Quantus is ready when you are. You know, here's the thing. He had a treasure trove of material that he could have used to say he was hacked. Just start forwarding her. Just start replying with Antonio Brown or Julio Jones. I find this could be very good. Hey, you want to talk about Bitcoin? You think Bill Simmons owns Bitcoin?

just totally and then back it all up and be like boy you know lost control the email account yesterday don't know what that was about hope you didn't send anything important no way you loop her into the group text that's where you go hey guys this has been real entertaining can i'm i'm looping my friend deb in here she's just bab she's going to help us with she's going to help us decide this whole Julio Antonio thing yeah that's how he six his minions on her like like all all these kids who are like you know they're talking about it was like Tuesday morning they're talking about smoking pot playing call the duty and whatever which yes they're organizing in curry's mentions in his inbox like if he shows up right then and says yeah yeah bros i i can't make it but

you know how about you talk shit to my boss they would have been like oh shit yeah we'll do that for our bro curry we hate you but we'll do that you're one of us now then like six days later they're like Bev is so much cooler than John no yeah they would have been like oh fuck Bev found my parents. She told them where I've been hiding my... Oh, my God. Bev is fucking brutal. Bev found...

Bev found my pets. She threatened them. It's amazing. Bev's got me in community college. It's really turned my life around. I owe it all to Bev. And the group text. I think that there's a little moment in here, which it's toward the end when everybody is fired

and it's all collapsing. for pretty much everyone involved, except for Phil Fulmer and Beb Davenport. Johnny's forensic a feciperi, for a S.R.A. Let you attest to Paula de Calcho. Conachery l'ambiente. In qui Viviamo, equal okay devere, Fattowat, Tennessee. Sorry, you were saying. Fatwa, Tennessee. Say, I told you. Make the wrong hire. Shire your law. It's coming.

You used to be Bucksnort, Tennessee. Now it's called Fatwa. Fatwa. Sorry, sorry, what's the interesting part to you, Spencer? That in the very end, there is a very short message from Butch Jones that says, Hey, I just want to know I'm thinking about you, John. Yeah, this is after Curry's been fired, Butch pops in to say, been there, man.

which because because you fired me six days ago you got the you got the bev email huh you got the you got the bev email didn't you man oh that bev email's a bitch yeah it's just don't cold y'all breaking glass and everything school i showed up at 845 she said you're late yeah that's that that would that to me was the icing on the cake there when you're like Where are we going to wrap this up? I think I'll wrap it with Butch Jones putting his head out of a garbage can with a fish, you know, like a fish skeleton in his mouth, like a cartoon cat going, hey, bud, I'm thinking about you. You know, you know, wherever he gets, wherever Curry gets his next job, he's just going to be like, uh, yes, I'd like to request the cell phone plan with no SMS capability. Please.

Yes, just calls. No, no text messaging required. Uh, if you can get me the phone that doesn't even have snake on it. I want it to have as few of me just. just the big fat numbers that's all thank you just a rotary phone yeah that was a very long cord yes uh instead of a phone i would like 30 pigeons mm-hmm that won't testify as long as they won't testify i love these pigeons yeah that's that that that was that it's it was way more entertaining the read than i thought it also made me never ever want a position of responsibility

college athletics ever not that that was a danger i liked it because it came like at the same time that we're having all this sort of like public uh public anguish over oh my god facebook and google and all these companies they take all your data and who knows what's in there and you know who else the university of tennessee the university of tennessee has all of your information it just gives it to whoever they want because you tried to hire greg shano yeah that's true Facebook dumps info and it's like massive scandal. Tennessee does it and everyone's like, oh, thank you to Tennessee for this hour of laughter you have driven me.

That's how Facebook should spend this. Instead, they should just be like, hey, you want to see this idiot's entire inbox? And be like, yeah, check it out. Like who's someone that just everybody fucking hates? Bobby Petrino. Okay. Yeah, if Facebook comes out and says, all right here's all the dirty deeds

Bobby Petrino's been up to that's a good way to ease us into it and then they give us somebody we slightly hate you know and then they work it up till like you know oh we're spilling secrets of everybody now and at that point it's like oh okay this is always hilarious when this happens

you'd probably be horrified to be like man Bobby Petrino still playing Farmville the year 2018 that's nuts I don't even think that's supported Spencer when is the last time you went to the doctor 1997 Was this because you had some sort of Casey and Jojo related affliction perhaps?

No, no, no, no. It was not an affliction that I was going to have all my life. Right, a chronic illness says it's known. Yeah, nor was it one that I only acquired lately. It was, strictly speaking, I've actually been at the doctor since then. I'm just lying. But yeah, the last time I went to the doctor was actually this year. I got a physical, I got a tune up, I got all that good stuff.

It was pretty great. I got to say, it's good when the doctor comes back and says, hey, you're not dead. What about you? When was the last time you went to the doctor? Unless you're a police officer, I don't have to answer these questions, idiot. That's true. And even if it was a cop, call your lawyer. Remember, asking about your health, call a lawyer immediately, no matter who it is.

Your spouse is like, hey, how are you feeling? You're like, not going to talk to you about that. Without my attorney. Without my attorney present. You have the right to health privacy, God damn it. If you throw up in the middle of work and somebody says, you feel it all right, hand them your lawyer's card. Why are we talking about health? Well, for two reasons.

One, we forgot to record the ad read when we did the podcast last night because we are, if nothing, if not efficient and on top of our shit. and two, because we're here to talk to you about hymns, a new wellness brand for men. That's right, Spencer, it's doctors. You know, you know how doctors don't serve men anymore, how they're only for women and children? That's true. It's that you walk in and they're like, sorry, dude, we hate men, can't do it. We're trying to, we're trying. But in fairness, that's because they are trying to wipe out men, because men only serve two purposes in this world.

One is to provide genetic material for the continued reproduction of the species. Science has pretty much eliminated the need for that, I'm pretty sure, already. And two, it's to do bad podcasts. That's the only reason why men are still alive on this earth. Fortunately, Hymns cares about bad podcasts like this, and they also care about hair loss, skin care, sexual wellness, again, for men. Can you give me a good for men so that I can just sort of like have it whenever I want? For men.

For men. For men. For men. Yeah. Hems is going to set you up with real doctors, medical grade solutions to treat your hair loss and other issues. And you don't have to go to the doctor's office where they will look at you, identify you as a man, and cast you out into the street. And say, we hope you rot in a fire. That's not how you die in a fire.

but what does that doctor know? That's exactly why you go to Hymns instead. You don't rot in a fire, stupid doctor. Agreed. You know what? You want a good fire doctor. That's really the kind of thing that I think as men, you can appreciate that we need doctors who specialize in fire. Yep.

Not fire-related injuries. Fire itself. I need a doctor of fire. I'm pretty sure you can go to Gene Simmons College of Medicine and get your M. D and fire, if you want. Alternatively, if you are interested in trying out Hymns, you can get a trial month for just $5 today while supplies less. You go to the website forhems.com for full details.

You use forhems.com slash shutdown. That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash shutdown to get this special limited time offer. They will teach you how to be a doctor of fire. and then you can command fire with your mind. And that's the real reason why doctors won't treat men anymore because we have untold powers to control fire with our minds as seen in the hit film Fire Starter, which of course Hollywood changed to be about a little girl

because they don't respect men either. That's right. They don't respect our problems, right? For example, you know, thinning hair, bald spots. are you know what you just you're just feeling a little worn you just feeling a little tired are you just feeling like you don't you know you don't get to the barn as quickly as you used to to use a horse term right right that's right four hens get it checked out take care of yourself be a be a man i'm actually realizing that i was thinking of dragons this whole time that's fine do you think about dragons too often that could be a medical condition impossible you can't think about dragons too often trick question this is not the thing that has at least you two angriest or most fired up over the past week or so though no somebody made a disney bracket y'all somebody made a disney bracket they made a bad now i i before we start i want to i want to say that i believe this is intentionally terrible what hold on

hold on impossible i know it's as it's as if people designed a social media site strictly to collect information as opposed to genuinely connect people. Are you saying on this our wonderful podcast that somebody would make something intentionally terrible and put it out on the internet? Sir? Listener, I do suggest this.

The only good thing, the only thing that shows me that they have even a bit of play fake in them or a bit of camouflage is that the illusion of integrity is maintained by refusing to include Cars 2. Again, Cars 2, the

only Pixar movie that has a legit torture scene. Well, they, you know, they took it out of Wally, but it was there. It was actually in The Good Dinosaur. Somebody didn't watch Finding Nemo all that closely. That's true. I mean, like, you get Ben about a torture scene, and you're like, how many things involve murder? And you're like, more than, more than I want to admit, actually.

Yeah, kind of all of them. Kind of every movie. Yeah. But yes, this is a very bad bracket. It's a terrible bracket. Listen, the bottom right corner The southeastern region, if you will Complete trash

Complete trash Talk to me Here are some of the things That are included as first round matchups You know, when you usually have A 1 versus a 16 Or 2 versus a 15, 3 versus 14 Right? That's normally what you have down here

But instead, what you have have here. Oh, I don't know. Let's just line up Wally and the Incredibles. Now, I want to say, I don't know, maybe Wally had a bad season. Maybe their forward got hurt. Maybe their point guard was just misfiring. I don't know. But Wally versus the Incredibles is a straight-faced matchup in the first round. The first round. Which is an insult. Then, then you have cars, by far the most underrated Pixar movie. People crack on cars. It's great. It's great. It's a fine Pixar movie. It's matched up against Monster's Inc.

Which, frankly, just going to drop this here. I think Monster's Inc. is a little overrated. Tell them. Tell them. I'm just going to let that out. I'm going to let it out. And then, just here, again, another matchup.

Finding Nemo, which to me is like a clear one or a two seed, right? That got it against Inside Out, which is... Motherfucking Inside Out. You don't want to face Inside Out, man. Inside Out, well, that's your... you're, that, that's running straight to the final four, easy. Mind you, I'm not even talking about the results posted for this bracket, which are an obscenity and a lie.

No, you've got Rattatooie versus a Bugs Life. Like, what's a Bugs Life? You don't, nobody saw that. Nobody. It's like, here, two movies I know nobody saw Phantom Thread to Bugs Life. Bugs Life, that was, that was, wasn't that before, like, Pixar was like Pixar? like it was when they were still plugging in the programs and all that

I yeah I think I think Bug's Life was when they were like hey here's the screensaver we made while we were making Toy Story don't hope you like it I remember thinking it was pretty good but the fact that I haven't bothered to watch it in several years or show my daughter

ever sort of suggests I mean that's a fair eight if they have Ratatoui is the one Bug's Life is a fair eight in this region But yeah, I disagree with either the Incredibles Or Wally being a 7 Yeah, this is just trash Just straight goddamn trash

Whole thing But the Southeastern Quadrant In particular, it's just leprosy Just like leprosy trash All over the building Well, and then they group all of the toy stories together In one, like, so that only one toy story It can come out, which feels

You know, it would be, I will say, That would be very funny to me if in the real NCAA tournament, they were like, Duke, UNC, UVA, you're all in the same region. Sorry, fuck you. We want you all to kill each other. Have a great time. To avoid the title game being Duke versus Duke 3. Right.

I like when Duke 3 almost died. Yeah, Duke 3 has a lot of death scenes. That was pretty good. Yeah, like, having all, like, look, I won't even tell you about the results, right? Because I'll tell you that Coco doesn't make out of the first round. Which is bonkers, all right? But, but, just clumping all the toy stories together,

having Frozen and Moana as, like, Frozen and Moana face off in the first round. In the first round! Yeah, that's another one. I think they fucked, whoever put this together, fucked up all the, like, seven seeds because in the top left group you have Lion King versus Tarzan that is a clear one versus a pretty fair eight

Tarzan's lucky to be here quite frankly. If Frozen is a two that makes Moana a seven which is fucking crazy talk. Moana is a two at worst in my opinion. Absolutely. And what's Frozen do? Like if you're

looking at Moana and Frozen you're like, that's a two and a two. Right? Yeah. At very worst like a three and a three. There's no understanding of seeding here. None. I will say I find the left side, the Disney side of the bracket, a lot funnier. Because, so the Pixar side at least has some completeness to it. You don't look at that and you're like, they forgot so and so.

But the Disney side of the bracket, my mind immediately went to, oh, my God, there are all these Disney heads that are going to be like, where the fuck's lady in the trip? You got to be fucking shit. 101 dalmatians you are you what are you snow white was nominated for an academy award where's bambi stop erasing white culture

song in the south i understand why that's not on here god damn it where's the aristocats in here can't we get the fucking aristocrats not you can't get adventurers or adventures down under who do you Who's going to appreciate the late Disney excellence of a project as eccentric as the Black Cauldron? Can we get the Black Cauldron in here? Billy Toll was excellent in Oliver and company.

Angry Disney guy is becoming Brady Hoke. Brady Hoke definitely has Disney opinions. He's kind of shaped like a Disney character. I don't mind it. Yeah, Big Hero Sex. He's Pamax. Big Hero 3, he's... Are you satisfied with your care?

Not really. Big Hero 7 and 5. Big Hero Mish. Oh, yeah, so that really made me happy, especially because at the very bottom, they got to cheat, and they got to put Nightmare before Christmas in there. So at least, so there's some portion of the audience is, oh, you gotta be, what are you? Oh, I love when people get really angry about this shit. Yeah, I like Nightmare for Christmas is representing like the old classics.

Yeah, I mean, you could have, like, this is so poorly done, you could have, you could have sneaked some like, like, random blue shit in here. You could have put, like, land before time, just to see if people were, like, paying attention. You could have put secrets of nym. They should have put like one random live action And hey they put the Jody Foster freaky Friday in here That's confusing Why did they do that? It's pretty good though I got it beating Zootopia

Yeah they put night on which mountain in here That's crazy This one just says The month where you got the Disney Channel free preview When you were a kid Boy, that's a great one scene Look at that An old episode of Hannah Montana

It's jacked up Hannah Montana the song Yeah I'm sure You know what If you took that If you took that all the way to number one You'd still get better results

Than they got when they actually played this out Or the even trollier thing to do Given that it's Technically a Disney property I would have been to put first take As one of these Yep First take beep Pocahont

What are you got to say about it? On my Disney bracket, I have Phantom Menace is a one seed. And also Thor, too, is a one seed. Yeah, take care when you make your brackets, y'all. Please. I had my final four, I had Lion King versus the Little Mermaid. Didn't realize I like the Little Mermaid so much. The other side, I had Toy Story 3 versus Inside Out.

And then, so I sent this to an expert, my daughter, who's obviously, more of the target audience here. Her final four... How many of these had she seen? She had seen all of them except Coco, which she decided she wouldn't like because it looks weird, so she went with Cars 3.

I decided the opposite. Coco looks weird, so I have it over Cars 3. Her final four, Lion King versus Aladdin, pretty normal. She got Inside Out winning that quadrant, pretty normal. The Up Toy Stories, cars

Cocoa Quadrant she has the fucking good dinosaur winning that what? She didn't even seen that the Loyola

in Chicago I've never seen it and I had no idea that she's seen it she's like no it's really good I was I got to watch

the good dinosaur now apparently it's pretty awesome but yeah then we both had Lion King versus Inside Out in the title game

Spencer did you bother with this with your children? They have not seen like a lot of these. Cars versus Cars 3. Yeah, no, it would be

it would be, yeah, no, it would be cars. I mean, the cars would probably just, they'd just be like, cars. You go, well, what about cars? Cars.

Okay, well, you guys are seen find cars. They just would have gone cars. They're boys. They don't, they don't really have feelings that don't involve vehicles or fire.

I want to say that on the left side like I haven't introduced I haven't actually watched the Lion King and one thing with the Lion King is Wait what? With the Lion King They haven't watched the Lion King? No they haven't watched the Lion King I thought you said you haven't watched the Lion King

No I have I haven't shown it to them because I don't really want to know that their reaction to like dad dying would be less than I expected right Like if I show them the Lion King they're like They'd take the wrong lesson from it They'd be like okay so his dad dies and then his life gets way better. Cool. Yeah, you don't want to encourage that. They're already too powerful. Yeah. Like I showed them big hero because that's about like, you know, hey, you should be helpful and

you should, you know, sacrifice for others and, you know, it's great. Okay, cool. Don't show the Lion King. That's just like a roadmap to like, you know, patricide. I want to avoid that for as long as possible. Realistically, I think I have about four more years.