Shutdown Fullcast - Shutdown Fullcast 8.11: Every Spring Football Story / Nature Is Your Killing Friend / Jason Can Name 2 Egg Dishes

Episode Date: April 3, 2018

Spring football is here, and so are the same spring football stories you have heard for the last ten years and will hear for the next eleven. Therefore, we decided to focus on important non-football things, like egg preparations and Pearl Jam and Sean Connery movies and Pitt's football schedule and video game bear assassins. Good job, us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast. Oh man, I'm coming to you live from a hotel room tonight. That's so exciting when you're in a hotel room on a weeknight, and it's not because your house burned down, but because it's spring break, which is not really a holiday for adults. But here we... It is for... Hold on. Don't leave divorced adults out of this.

They're people, sad, confused, horny people. Well, in your case, whenever Notre Dame is mentioned, because Ryan being the most erotic, Notre Dame fan. I want to be clear, Notre Dame football. I'm not, I think it would be weird and in poor taste if I said that the Notre Dame women winning a college basketball championship made me horny. So I'm not saying that. Was it awesome? Yes. Do I think we need a German word for that feeling you have when a school.

that you really don't like in one sport, wins a championship in some completely other sport, and you're okay with it, if not good with it? Yes, I do. Am I horny about it? No, I'm not. I want that out there right now. Nobody's horny on this podcast is horny.

Speak for yourself, buddy. Jesus. You're correct. You're correct. It's not. I'm in a holiday inn. Holiday Inn's not the most erotic. Not the most like erotic hotel chain.

You know? It's a certain brand of eroticism. Okay, sure. You know. That's like saying that, you know, that's like saying that, you know, that, you know, Notre Dame is a certain form of eroticism. We're just randomly assigning the value to it. I don't, I don't really see the charm in a holiday end,

mostly because holiday ends are just, they're kind of old. I mean, I don't know they're not actually old old. you know now mind you it's not a romata i just see romata as like being completely there's no romance in a romata right there's like eight of them left they're old they're derelict they're sad they're all just waiting for the police to condemn them for something yeah that's there's one in Atlanta that's like a a ramada that they just like put an extra a in order to not copyright infringed and you can some some family just bought it and they're like, I don't know, man, call it a, call it the Ramada.

So the Ramada is definitely not a Ramada. And that's pretty hot. Yeah, that's, that's deeply erotic, you know? Well, that's, to me, that's like when you go to the orgy and you put a mask on, but you're so distinctive that everybody's like, yeah, we know, it's you, Derek. Like, I don't know who you're fooling. That mask is barely covering your face. Yeah, it's, oh, it's you.

It's the guy with the orange dick. Hey, everyone. You put a mask on your dick. It's Derek. You know, he's got the orange pecker. I'm glad that you've managed to hang on this long in the podcast, which this is a college football podcast, which is, of course, sitting there adrift in the off season with very little to talk about football-wise. Currently in spring practice, if that's your thing. And I definitely like spring practice.

because spring practice is all about definite statements like, everybody tried hard a day. Okay, cool. Or go the complete opposite direction. Nobody on this team is ready to play. If we had to play a game tomorrow, I wouldn't feel the team. That's how bad we are. You could do what Nick Saban did when he went off,

and he's already gone off at one point this spring, my favorite, which is somebody asked him, you know, I don't know. Is this guy going to start here? And he's like, I don't know. You don't know. We don't know anything. You want me to get up here and tell you what I know what I got? I don't know what we have. I don't. Why are we talking? Why are these words coming out of my mouth? Why are any of us here? Why is communication even done when it's such a futile exercise between people who mostly actually communicate between gestures and, you know, like stances, pheromones? What are you doing? I don't know what you're doing. Yeah, spring football is very important. I feel like when we all first got into the sports media game, you know, for the first couple of years, it's like, how are we going to cover spring football? We got to do the 10 spring takes and the spring storylines

and like the quarterback battles to follow. And now it's like, I look up like, oh, spring games are happening already. I learned that because I saw a giff of Steve Spurrier trying to catch a pass in the end zone and falling onto his 70-year-old. old hip. That was how I learned spring games are happening. And then after that put a blog post on it and deleted spring games from

my brain until the next time there's a funny gift. So there are three possible spring game stories, I think. You guys can correct me if I'm wrong. Number one star player gets injured. Worst kind of spring game story, but it happens on occasion. Yeah. Number

two, oh, team that underperformed last year or that has habitually underperformed looks great looks dynamite is coming out of the gate hard charging with a multiple offense that is getting the ball in the hands of the playmakers in space and just letting them go go go go go we got tempo we got pace we got so much exciting offensive innovation um and story number three is you know uh made up position battle story number three is like a lot of these young kids, they look like

they're ready to come in here and unseat the guy who won 18 games in the last two years. I don't know. He better watch his... He's got a target on his back. He's got to, you know, can't let up for a second. That 130 pound 18-year-old, oh, he's... I don't know. I don't know. I've got to

fail and he could start. He could... I wouldn't be surprised to see coach just pull something out of his ass and start this fresh young minnow of a boy at quarterback. I think those are the three spring game stories. Yeah, injuries is a big one. Avoiding injury is sort of, if you make it to the end of spring ball

and your team doesn't have multiple injuries to players you've heard of, then congratulations. You won spring ball. Wait, I forgot a fourth. The whole town came to watch. Yeah, and the other way you can win spring ball is if more people that's in your spring game, which if you're just tuning in,

you don't actually follow the sport. It's a pretend, it's not even football. It's a pretend competitive event with its own scoring system that the coach made up with like three points for stick-to-itiveness, four points for get-after-itiveness. It's the Madden mini-game.

They make you play. Yeah, but without any hologram. right coach walks around scoring it via megaphone and like come on man how many coaches are math majors come on i give you 12 you get 12 efforts for that one yeah you get negative three efforts you get 13 swag points i'm gonna just go ahead and state you know my my theory on that if you have a spring game where your scoring system is unduly complicated you're doomed you're just doomed as a coach as a team, as a franchise. I based this solely on Jim McElwain.

There were like two games where he said, I don't know, you get a purple for getting across the 30. If I were Jim McElwain coaching the kind of offensive throughout Florida, yeah, I'd make up math too. I think you should say that you're giving out money, but then come up with an acronym for it and be like, no, it's not dollars. G is for defensiveness.

The O is for offensiveness. The L is for a lot of work. The other L is for a lot of heart. The A is for, hey, that's a good play there. The R is for right way to play. And the S is for some team we got. So that's why I gave him $200. Don't look into it.

If you force the offense to turn over, then the whole defense gets 100 swag bucks, which are redeemable at the campus bookstore for nothing. Because that is a violation. Unless you're a Florida Gator Unless you're a Florida Gator In which case you don't even need swag bucks You just broke

Whatever currency it is Swag bucks broke Dollars broke Reals broke Rubles broke Yeah what if you did What if you did just give out like a currency That was so hyperinflated that it was worthless

If you just dig up some Italian lira Would the NCAA get on you for that It'd be like that's de minimis Come on you're an idiot the old Miss Spring game now hounding out them Confederate books $1,100 dollars. Here's a Confederate war bond.

Judas received for betraying Christ. The NCAA's over there trying to calculate how many nights on a couch sleep those are worth. That's like a billion nights on a couch. That's a pretty big violation. Eight nights on a couch, that's like two and a Ramada.

Minnesota is going to be handed out Fleck coin It's the virtual currency Of the Minnesota go first Fleck coin It's the cryptocurrency You don't know what our final record is Until the end of the season

I don't know I think they need to figure out blockchain first Oh That's a football term folks Some of you nerds might know it better As related to virtual currency I don't really know what it means yeah i was going to say we can't keep going down the bitcoin

road yeah we've just we've i've used up all the terminology i know have you ever heard two people talking about cryptocurrency no just over talked in real life about cryptocurrency if you do it in real life doesn't that spoil the whole thing it's supposed to be online so it's like um anonymized it's like talking about the matrix Yeah, I've heard two people in public talking about it And one, I can tell you it was at a Panera

So you know it's full Movers and Shakers Because you had two guys At a Panera in I believe this was Chattanooga They were killing They were killing it. They were killing it. I will tell you, both

of them got the giant cookies, because they understand value. Damn, those things are like a half of Bitcoin each. Yeah. You walk into Panera with like a Bitcoin, like I don't know, a Bitcoin is what's it worth these days? Like $100?

Fucking, I don't know. But man, a Bitcoin, that'll get you like one meal at Panera. You can get you like one salad. Yeah. And these dudes, I will tell you if I had to just guess whether they were fans of Tool

yes both of them were fans of the band Tool I bet they'd really really love to talk to me about how eight posts they checked out on Reddit absolutely confirmed their belief in Bitcoin

as being the final frontier in cryptocurrency and the libertarian utopia that ultimately will have when you, I don't know, vape and listen to Lateralis enough. Is that that obscure?

I'm so excited for some. We're probably like three years away from some coach taking a job that he like absolutely shouldn't and doesn't need just to pay, just because his Bitcoin went completely into the basement. That's going to be when Jim Harbaugh is like, yeah, you know, going to be coaching the Orlando Magic here for a little while. just gotta soften up the old

funds. Bitcoin didn't do what I wanted should have stuck to the if you can't actually buy it, it's not really coin. That's what I learned. I think what I'm picturing is Pact 12th Commissioner Larry Scott having to sell Oregon State to pay his Bitcoin debts. He went all in, like, I mean, that would be so unlike the Pact 12 going all in on things that doesn't fully understand

and getting up left behind and all that. Technologically weak. choices? I don't know. Yeah, buying it on insufficient technology. So unlike the Pac-12. Yeah, hey, hey,

you should know this about the Pac-12 that I find, like, the most amusing thing about it as a conference, period, right? The Pac-12 had its offices where? San Francisco, right? That is correct.

Most expensive are the most expensive part of the earth. Why not Dubai? Why not Dubai? might be cheaper honestly might be cheaper that's where they had their offices in san francisco now look at every other conference okay chicago it's not cheap right um but it's not terrible chicago is not like crazy terrible where does where does the SEC have their offices Birmingham brother in a building they probably own all right, right at this point,

because they probably bought it for like $83. Yeah. That would be fitting, though. There's no way the SEC bought that building on the level. There has to be some sort of like really dicey scam attached to it. Like, Milton McGregor gave us this land in exchange for a dog track that we had to leverage with an Alabama state legislature in exchange for season tickets and SEC championship tickets.

for life. Like there has to be some sort of eight step chicanery to get the mud building, right? They got it via Dr. Pepper fraud. Yeah. How did you convert eight cases of Dr. Pepper to a building? Let me start right here.

You have one paper, Clint. They said South Carolina engineering degree ain't worth shit. We showed them what's what. The Big 12 is based out of Dallas, is that right? I'm pretty sure they're Dallas. Nobody knows. And I think

the Big 12, I think the Big 12 prefers it I think the Big 12th spirit relocates once a year. Yeah, they're probably just run out of somebody's house. Big 12, the Big 12 is a nomadic conference. The Big 12. There's got to be like 12 shadow

headquarters, but the real one is in Austin. I was going to say like the real thing about the Big 12 also is that they have like one employee who works on the moon, right? And I have one employee who's just completely remote from some extreme. Yeah, he's out of Recovic.

What? Yeah, he's in the conference. Don't worry about it. We don't worry. We don't worry. Is he out there looking for oil? Ah, technically we're not allowed to drill on the moon, but yes. No, he is looking for oil. For Texas Tech. He's just racking up

his, he's just racking up his frequent flyer miles, his hotel points. Can I tell you the The thing, before we take spring games, I have two notes from spring games that I do consider worthy. First of all, that I do, I do. No, this is important, okay? First of all, Oklahoma? Oklahoma, they're going to have, they're going to have themselves a day in concert. Now, who did they get for their concert? If you're bringing it up, I'm going to guess, either a rapist.

or a country musician? It is a country musician. It's Trace Atkins, yeah. Yeah, they're getting Trace Atkins to, I think, add to the family atmosphere is what they've said they want to create at the spring game. Now, I wasn't really aware of Oklahoma's reputation as having a spring game that was going to be a back-and-ow, right? Like some sort of like half-naked, insane thing.

spring break environment in Norman. I don't hear Norman and just think like indecent and not family friendly, right? But I will tell you that Oklahoma getting Trace Atkins I'm definitely like 100% thinking

this is appropriate because one, Trace Atkins has the scariest deep voice in country music. He has this like, Bruce Atkins is the right Thompson of country music vocally. because he sings like this.

Two, he did sing Honky Tonk, badonka don't, which not only is it a real song that exists, you should go listen to it, because if you don't think 2005 was a long time ago, oh, go listen to it. Go listen to the way it sounds. And he'll go, wow, yeah,

this is an entirely different era, period. Also, it's called Honky Talk, but don'tcadonk. And three, three, like Trace Atkins and like Oklahoma. I don't know. Not really a hit since, like, when? The early 2000s.

We made the final four this year? Okay. That's cool. Cool. So did Loyola. Come on. Come on. What was your other spring practice? Spring game note? This, that Dan Mullen. Dan Mullen, if you'll notice, like, Dan Mullen, is, he's going,

to, you know, sorority houses where they have everyone gathered there and saying, hey, we need you to show up for the game. Cool, cool. And then they have Dan Mullen, you know, doing a radio show and having an open practice, you know, being on Twitter, thanking people, you know, cheesing it up, doing all the PR stuff, doing simple things like, hey, you should buy some tickets. Hey, I'm Dan Mullen. I'm excited to be here.

This kind of would be totally normal for any other coach, this just makes me realize Florida's coach for the past three years didn't do this he didn't like go outside he didn't talk to people it's like when it's like when you get out of one relationship

you're going to another one and you're like wow this person doesn't just throw their dinner plates on the floor yeah Jim McAwayne was like Chili's has a to go counter yes oh I think we're good you then All right. Fahitas, fajitas, fajitas.

You know, Dan Mullen's doing perfectly normal things that I, as a quasi, like, you know, maladjusted fan used to, like, poor treatment, I'm astonished. He's doing things like, hey, I'm very excited about our team, and this seems great. And I really like, I'm going to have some kids on the field and stuff. And it makes me realize that, like, Jim McElwain was just this inert lump that really did. He probably went to the Applebee's takeout counter, right? For everything, right? Like, hey, aren't you excited to be here, Jim?

I don't know. I just, hey, do you guys sell toilet paper? I'm just kind of trying to do it all one stop, if you, please. Like that he would be confused about basic things. Like, yeah, I don't know. Why didn't you go talk to the band about how important they are? The band. We have a band?

It's crazy. Crazy. never heard of that yeah I'm astonished by this just mildly astonished not like oh man damn old is doing like an exceptional job no he's doing like things that a normal coach does he's doing a job he's doing human things something that

something that are like yellow tooth mole man of a coach did not do oh you're going to make fun of his orthodontor his dentition yeah I'm going to he's got money no Michigan clean those up didn't you see the Photoshop out. Oh, yeah. Check the recruiting graphics.

Which is fucked up because they were maize to begin with. I don't know why I'd change it. Wow. Just darking them up. Give him some silver. Right? So it turns the skin blue. Harbaugh's going to top it by coming out with gold teeth.

McElwain's going to realize he missed the entire wave. He should have leaned in and gone all the way. Yeah. Like McElwain would say anything about that. You'd give him silver and be like, well, I don't care. I'm going to go watch some film or something. and wear some loafers and be like a doof. Just a massive, like, toadstool of a human.

So you're doing good. This is what I'm hearing. You know, I'm totally coming around to the idea that, you know, maybe things will be okay. I like how... Not good. I didn't say good. I said okay. Well, I like how this adjustment to, like, oh, the new coach is totally fine and normal.

we're talking about the man who like loves the the tastes of Sparro Pizza oh yeah no this is the new highfalutin culture guy but yeah he's in Gainesville that's fine. Yeah no that's fine that's fine this is right at our level

remember like Gainesville culturally it's like one big open air mall and by that I mean like a 2018 mall where you know parts of it are dead and there's like cannibals running the Orange Julius. That's fine. That's where John Bramley's sword store used

to be. Used to be. It's still open. What's what I'm doing now? Of course it's still open. Yeah, so just, you know, if you have a coach who does these things, that's normal. That's considered normal after seven to eight years of being

run by absolute mutants. You know, apparently there's a person who put it this way. Coaches are so weird and they're so unusual that you can consider Dan Mullen to be normal on that curve. Right? I mean, I think you can

throw Urban in there as a mutant as well. So that means Dan's taking you back to the Zook year. Zook's a pretty normal guy. We've seen him enjoying aquatic sports. You've eaten a meal with him. He's yelled on a fraternity front lawn before.

It's perfectly normal. Bro, who now? Again, in Gainesville, that is very normal yeah everything you're saying stands to reason it's fine um didn't you want to talk about painful endings i did i did because we just watched the women's final four right well yeah let's let's place everybody uh right now it's monday april 2nd 957 p.m basketball is done for the year because notre dame beat uh mississippi state in the women's college basketball national championship game great game, and Penn State

won the NIT, and that is all the basketball. Penn State is the men's champion basketball. Yep, everyone's on. And all the basketball's done. But yeah, we, you know, the Notre Dame winning two games on just killer fucking buzzer-beater shots from the same person.

Are you saying, that this is the coldest way to die? Man, that second one is pretty cold. Both of them are pretty cold. At least the first one had the benefit of being part of a sort of free-flowing shootout of a game to have this ugly defensive battle that ends with somebody taking an off-balance three falling to the side and still hitting it at the buzzer. Like a well-defended three when the game was tied and they didn't,

it's not like they needed to defend the three. No. No, like, I mean, it was defended as well as you possibly could defend that shot. Like, short of just swatting, like, short of blocking it, that's like an unreasonable ask, right? Short of that, really well defended shot, and she just buries it. Just, Ogumboale, I believe was her last name. Yeah. Just absolutely buries the shot and forces Adam Ammon to nearly have a stroke for the second game in, like, you know, three days.

And... I think that's the worst way to lose. I know people will disagree with this, but, you know, go ahead, get up by 20, right? Put my body in the morgue sometime in like, you know, 75% of the way through the game so I can begin processing it. As opposed to, hey, look, 59 minutes and 58 seconds left, and I'm dead. It's over. Dead. There's not another second left in the clock.

That was sudden. Wow. I'm now standing here on the field of play. bereft at my most emotionally vulnerable and I'm in my underwear wearing I'm basically wearing underwear and a helmet great, it's fantastic are you just narrating your life right now

I am I think you got lost a little which is fine again nobody on this podcast is horny so it's fine I'm wearing a helmet as underwear yeah I mean I don't know if that's all that controversial of a take I think most people would rather get just crushed than like to have of victory yanked away at the last second. As a fan of many terrible teams,

I'm here to tell you. The former is preferable. I've seen plenty of both. But I think there's a subset here we're missing. Like, Mississippi State led this game at half time, but not by a ton. And I think the game was tied going into the fourth quarter, or at the very least it was close.

So, you know, there was a foul that wasn't called on the turnover, I think, that shortly preceded this. There were a few other plays where, like, yeah, they sort of stopped hitting shots from the field, you know, maybe didn't play defense the way they wanted to, whatever. But by and large, this was a back-and-forth game that ended in a narrow defeat. The other way this can happen is you do have that big lead, and you do just sort of like bleed it, bleed it, bleed it, bleed it. And yes, at the end, it's still a close game.

But here's the difference. I think in the moment, what happened to Mississippi State is more painful. It is more acutely like, oh, because you are caught up in, you're feeling sort of both emotions simultaneously before that shot goes. And you're sort of so amped and so primed

to go one extreme emotional direction or the other. But you go, like Mississippi State fans, when they look back on this game, what are they going to say? She made a great shot. We couldn't have defended it any better. It just happens that way. It sucks. It sucks that it, you know, doesn't seem to happen that way for the Bulldogs as often as they would like, but it happens. On the other side of this, we have our Atlanta

Falcons friends at SB Nation. Most of all, Stephen Godfrey. And you know, all that they did after the Super Bowl two years ago they just dissected every fuck up it took because it wasn't just they hit one big pass and that was the game it was this fumble it was this interception it was this third down conversion it was this two point conversion

it's like the more you have to look back on and say if only that one thing out of 20 were different I think the harder it is to cope with long term I think that's just a difference in the pace of the sports because if you were to take the basketball game and segment out each in, you know, each play, if like the clock stopped after each bucket or whatever, you know, you could say like, oh, well, look at this one, if that one. But with football, those of us who have enjoyed the most crushing loss in sports, the luxury to really wallow in each individual step of it rather than like, you know, oh, well, that. And then after that, you know, the balls are already racing down the other way. No time to think.

So I think the thing is that football is just perfectly designed for maximum misery because you are forced to, you know, in basketball and soccer, there's no time to think about that stuff. You know, once the game's over, you look up, I know, whatever last play was. That's how I feel. But in football, you get, every play is the last play. Yeah. I mean, I mean.

kind of like freeze it in amber right you're like oh right there fourth quarter two minutes left bad decision yeah we're done cooked so they they kind of just had a whole entire game there on third down um and now all my emotions from that particular little five second game that's stored in a file in my brain forever now we're moving along to fourth down for a new mental emotion file. And baseball is like too slow on this scale. Yeah, and baseball. Like your brain already forgets like what happened? That was days

ago. Yeah, the emotion just over right because like so you just end with one which is like probably hunger because you've been sitting for a long time. It's like the difference between a massive interstate accident, right? That's a bunch of things moving at speed, happen really

really, you know, quickly. No time to think, right? Clear it, get out of the way and like a NASA accident, right? Oh, that blew up. Oh, God. This part was that, oh, God, it's going to take forever to clean up, isn't it? I would say the Falcons were challenged. I agree.

And, you know, like a NASA accident, you can timestamp it. I mean, hey, it got up, didn't it? Got up there. got up pretty high You're right You're like a NASA accident It's like all right Well

We're going to spend the next three months Figuring out what the fuck went wrong And blaming everybody possible Including people who have been long since fired We're going to blame them I'm just saying both of them Both of them have guys in headsets Looking real scared and pissed off at the same time

And then Nick Foles just builds his own rocket Look at that Just did it himself self. Oh, man. A space program based out of Philadelphia would be an incredible... Philly Elon Musk. What are you going to do?

We're going to put a wawa on the moon. We're going to call him E. John Musk. Jokes for 12 people that I will take to the grave. That's fine. Should we move on to the randomizer? Oh, beep, bo, bleep, bo, bleep, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. Yeah. Only to say that in conclusion, yeah, the kick-sakesh is still the worst way to lose.

That's the worst goddamn. It's always going to be the worst way to lose. Disagree. We'll move on. Okay, fine. All right, so as usual, we've gone to the randomizer, where you are loyal, devoted listeners, send us things you want us to talk about and indicate either who you are or not, and sometimes lie, potentially.

Like this first one says it's first. from at Trill Ballins on Twitter. I would love that this is from Trill Ballins, but I don't know if it is, and I can't prove that it is. Trill Ballins, you're always welcome on the podcast, just to be clear.

Number one, the non-football opinion, or non-football question topic, whatever, fuck Pearl Jam. I am a little too young to really care about this. Jason also says

you don't have any real strong Pearl Jam opinions, correct? I don't know any of their songs. Okay. Spencer, it's kind of on you to sort of determine whether yes, fuck Braille Jam or no Pearl Jam is great. I would dare straddle the two and just say, yeah, Pearl Jam can be good. It's fine. It's all about context. I'm not really, I'm not going to get Ben about Pearl Jam. I'm not, you know, because I will say this. If you hate Pearl Jam, I think it might also be because Pearl Jam inspired a bunch of really

terrible dudes who are all so like this for like 20 years and I don't really blame you for hating that for starting them. Pearl Jam kind of hated it too. I do admire them for just not really deciding to be famous. Oh yeah, here we're

not going to be famous. We'll make a bunch of we'll make a bunch of weird shit. Also I feel kind of positive about them because they're definitely about man emotions. They do. They're emotional man music, right? Which again, if you're a woman listening to this, Yeah, yeah, it's kind of embarrassing.

It's kind of embarrassing to be like, Pearl Jam's song makes me emotional because that's cliched. Men get emotional when Pearl Jam comes on. You know why? It's kind of deep voice. Not every man wants to admit that he gets emotional when a man with a beautiful high voice comes on.

It's just masculine and insecurity, plain and simple. They need somebody sometimes who can just bellow at them. Like a coach. That's what Eddie Vedder is. Eddie Vedder is a strength. Telling you, pie, right? Pull it out. Let it flow.

Emotional strength coach. Yeah, he's an emotional strength coach, right? I'm more interested by the second part of this, which is, on-side kick tactics? On-side kick tactics. If you have any, share them here. Number one, on-side kick way more than you do. You don't have enough on-side kicks in football. we need more of them, especially surprise on sidekicks.

Why not? I'm a big fan of two in particular. One, I do not like the, let's see if we can catch the ball immediately before it touches the hands team's hands. Right. We're trying to kick this 10.1 yards. Exactly. Don't do that.

That requires way too much precision. I think football's best decisions always rely on forcing someone to do something, right? Remember, my favorite tactic in football. is make the other person do something. Force them to make a choice, right? Embarrass one person because most people, most people when put in that situation, won't react well,

particularly when they're on the hands team and they usually aren't in the spotlight. Instead, I like it when they point at one guy, like literally point at one guy and be like, he's going to have to catch this shit and kick it as hard as you can at that guy. And chances are he's not going to bring it down if your man has any accuracy.

It's just not going to happen. My second favorite one is the onside kick where you loop it just over the wall of the hands team and recover behind it. That's my other one. Yeah, I like that one because it can look like just a bullshit sky kick where you're like, oh, we're going to kick it to the fullback because he's not a threat to return it.

But you don't quite get it to him, but that guy touches the ball so seldom that he's, you know, he's being cautious. He's not like rushing toward the ball. And everyone's just kind of standing around. And if you got a really fast guy, he might be able to scoot right in there and, like, turn what was supposed to be

the safest possible kick into a big play. Good. We've settled it. Onside kick tactics and maim feelings. Resolved. Spencer, Jason, you can pick the next randomizer. Hmm. I was going to go in order and go for Abington, Alex,

who suggests that three favorite ways you like your eggs prepared. and which I definitely have feelings about, which would be over-easy. That's the finest way to have them. That's followed by sunny side-up and then followed by your basic scrambled. I know everybody thinks scrambled's basic.

It's delicious and it's harder than it looks to make it good. What about we're not throwing a poach-d egg in here at all? I mean, poach-deg is fine, but I can do over-easy just like. Like, poach-tag, it borders on the like, it's a lot of work okay well that I think gets to the heart of this question

whether you are preparing the eggs or you are having them prepared for you because if I'm preparing the eggs yes scrambled wholly on board for it if I'm having the eggs prepared like I'm out having breakfast somewhere probably going to make you do something a little more

interesting than that probably going to try at least to mix it up I'm saying this from the practitioner's end to me the egg is not like something you go out for, right? Like, I'd go out for, like, sweet breads or blowfish because it requires some preparation to it, right? Like, I'll always

order that. I'm not really, I'm not going out for, like, you know, eggs. Like, how many places do you go where you go? Yeah, you know, this place? They got crazy eggs. This is why they hate you at Denny's. This is why they hate you at Denny's because you roll up there and you're like, you got any Fugu.

Come on, man. Give me the good blowfish. Well, yeah, like the end. answer in Miami isn't yes the Miami Denny's goddamn that's a scary thought so on the subject of eggs I got some real Georgia shit to say

I honestly don't know if I if you put 10 different kinds of eggs in front of me I'd be able to tell you which one is scrambled and man the other ones I'd be guessing I've eaten several kinds the kind where it's the white and the yellows and sloppy in the middle and all that and they're like I've had fancy

eggs that were disgusting. So I put me down for scrambled, scrambled, and then which everyone y'all think is the best. Okay. Hard-boiled? Gay or nay? No, no, hell no. That's gross.

Okay. I know what that one is. No, sure. Hard-boiled's fine. Well, I think the problem with hard-boiled eggs is you always feel a little bit like one of the bond villains that you, back in the 70s, it was like, they made this character gay, and I don't know why. that feels like a really unnecessary choice.

Like, that's a thing that they would have that bond mill and do. Eat a hard-boiled egg and then make sort of a weird innuendo joke about James Bond having a huge donor. Yeah. Hold on. I also think hard-boiled eggs are like a pre-food food, you know? Like, it was a food from the time when they're like, hmm, this could go bad. Salt tack. Yeah, exactly.

I got some hard-boiled eggs. some salt tack. What I was going to do was just start a fire under that maple tree over there. I'm going to leave these in an airless room. Get out in my bindle. Maybe we can pickle these eggs. Pickled eggs. Like pickle, hard

boiled eggs? That's an extremely pre-refrigeration country shit. Is this where you two talk about Far Cry 5? I'm not sure if we're doing that or not. I was going to go a, you know, we could take a break from that. Yeah. We both

Played Park Five this week. I wrote a review, which is going to go up on video game blog, SBNation.com. I love that video game website. It's one of the best. It's probably the second best. Polygons obviously first, but, you know, we're probably second. Well, they have McElroy brothers, and we have knockoff McElroy brothers. I think we're probably behind the verge, too.

We're probably also behind Recode. Ract has probably got some good video game posts. We're probably... We're at least the fifth best. We got better video game posts than Vox.com does. 100%. 100%. I would love to see Far Cry 5 explained.

Too, good luck with that, boy. Man. So, like, the whole gimmick of the Far Cry games, at least since back to three, which was when people started playing them, is you play a person who is just plopped in the middle of the craziest shit you've ever seen. Um, everything is deeply, deeply problematic from the, uh, the, the, the enemies, the non-player characters, the whole story, your character being so powerful and killing all these people, most of whom, um, were dragged into a conflict that, um, the creators of the game didn't really care all that. A lot of weird animal abuse going on. Tons of weird animal abuse. Although in the latest one, it is at least you don't have to kill animals to upgrade your character and upgrade a year and all that, but it's still open,

encouraged. Like, you still have people telling you, if you need some cash, kill a bear. Which, it's still pretty encouraged. That's, you know, pretty accurate and, like, you know, consonant with America. Yeah, it's said in Montana, which

If you go to Montana and you need some money, you're probably going to have to kill a bear. I do like that. I have not played this game, but I do like that they decided, like, okay, we're going to build this, like, weird kind of hillbilly colp, But we don't want to, like, make anybody too mad.

So where can we set it where there just aren't that many people so that they won't get mad? They're like, Montana. And 18 people in Montana are like, I still have a PlayStation 2. It's fine. I'm only playing twisted, I'm only playing twisted metal. Because I don't think the government should tell me.

I'm still playing Far Cry a woman, the one where you have to take malaria pills and you're jams. Yeah. And I refuse to take the malaria pills, because that's how the government controls your mind. This is what you should know about the game. If you are, again, in the throes of the off season and like us, occasionally I like to partake of a video game or two to make the time pass.

Here's what you should know. You can play with a diabetic bear. Name cheeseburger, right? Name cheeseburger. Who once you befriend him by feeding him fish that you have to go catch, all right? not only will Cheeseburger let you pet him which I do

all the time because he's my friend you can put cheeseburger you know in your crew which means that you can just point Cheeseburger

at people and be like hey yo Cheeseburger why don't you go fuck them up and cheeseburger's like oh then goes and does it and the best part

is and it never gets old Every time you do this in the game, the people who I guess probably would have heard at some point about a bloodthirsty lunatic wandering the hills with a backpack full of stinking fish and a bear, right? Like they probably would have heard of him. But every time you send the bear in, some enemy cultist zombie like dude looks at it and goes, oh, a bear! Okay, two things. it's Montana not really a surprise to see a bear okay two should be kind of an established fact that there's a guy wandering the hills looking for you with a gun who has a pet bear with a cheeseburger neckerchief right like this shouldn't be the most surprising thing and yet every time

you send them in they're like oh how could this be happening yeah I think the far cry series is very known for having just the stupidest bad guys possible like they always put their bases at the foot of a hill with zip lines coming down to it so that you can like snipe from a top of mountain and then zip line in to stab the last guy and that was even before this one where they gave you a pet bear and a pet panther and a like world-class sniper lady

and a guy flying a plane who can drop bombs. The game is just, it's kind of like grand theft out on all them where it's as much about the mayhem simulator element as it is about any like yeah the story's stupid sure the story stupid until the very end the very very very end is is nicely done but

yeah sure everything else is very stupid and that's what that's what you're here for all I know is that it's also a game where a shovel is probably the most you have a godlike shovel it really is like I mean I think I tweeted this out

but it really is like hey what if you try to like start an insurrection like a military insurrection with just stuff you found at like lows

it really is like you can carry nine shovels do you know how many shovels you really need to kill like 20 people one you know how many you have nine you have nine and you can throw them at 4,000 miles an hour I don't know what it is but if you throw a shovel

at somebody it's like it's like hitting them with mule near like they just their spirit soars to another plane instantly it's amazing somewhere Lee Corso is nodding solemnly it used to all of this used to be the way we did

it in Maryland yeah like it's the other great thing is that it's my favorite toy you have it's the simplest one it's bait like the whole the whole place is crawling with animals

so if you really have a bunch a dudes, you know, like around a campfire or just chilling, you know, like doing drugs and being like crazy Christian-fundy fundamentalist with guns somewhere in the middle of Montana, high off their ass. The best thing to do is to get as close to them as possible, which this being a real stupid game, Jason, right, is about eight feet. You can get about eight feet from like- You can stand directly behind them, yeah. You can stand there with a bear, okay, mind you, waiting patiently and you can just throw bait

right and naturally like if you threw bait in a realistic game right you would throw bait and like an hour later maybe like one raccoon would kind of show up

like something cooking no and Far Cry if you throw bait into a group of people like throw it into a crowd not only will no one notice that somebody is throwing

chunks of raw meat okay not only will they not notice but at seconds later 400 mountain lions and begin cutting them to pieces. And then at that point you just threw a Molotov cocktail

in and yeah, the magic happens. Yeah. When you have like a bear in your party or whatever or bear panther, there's also a dog. I don't think we've mentioned the dog. The dog is awesome. But your animal friends are like totally invisible until

they start biting people in the throat. Like you can tell your bear to go sit in the middle of their camp and they won't even look at it. Whereas if like an actual random wild bear went in there, then oh, it'd be on. But you can just have your bear park right in the middle until you give the signal in and starts eating everyone. But yeah, the dog, the dog as well, I don't know if you've got the dog yet, but boomer is his name. And he's a delight. He'll go fetch somebody's gun for you. And he'll, you know, bite people in the throat. And he's got a concealed carry permit, so it's all legal.

It's Montana stuff. You have this cast of characters to choose from, right? Which that can help you. And my favorite thing is the menu, because the menu has all of their faces in like a grid, right? And it's mostly people. And then like mixed in with the people, you'll see like cheeseburger. And a shot of cheeseburger. Like, he's got an HR file, right?

Yeah, you got a hire. And assign him to one of your buttons. Holy Cheeseburger, got to have you fill out of W-9. Come on, buddy. Hey, hey, Cheeseburger, we're sneaking up on the camp. Here's our plan. Here's what we're going to do. And you walk them through the whole playbook.

You got it? No, you're going to get it. As you're walking up, oh, Cheeseburger, don't forget, your flex account. You got to incur those cards. by April 15th, but you have until June to submit the receipts. Remember, it's a use it or lose it kind of deal there. We have an issue with someone in the office

taking lunches out of the fridge. And by that, I mean ripping the fridge open and devouring everything in it in about 15 minutes every single day. And we don't know who it is. Yeah, this is the Twitter thread of the week. Yeah, that's exactly. The lady who threw away the shrimp frimp rice, whatever it was, it was actually

cheeseburger. It was yeah, no, it was completely cheeseburger. By the way, cheeseburger also just disappears for four months a year. It's very, very problematic. Just disappears and is evidently sleeping. Let's do the other half of Abington Alex's question.

How many years until we see a 70-yard field goal made? I don't think that's far off. I really don't. Kiffin tried it in an NFL game. He did. And who did he try it with? He tried it with somebody who... Seabass.

Seabass himself. Yeah, Sebastian Janikowsky, who hit a 70-yarder in high school. So I don't think it's far off, man. I really don't. But the problem is that you're only going to see it with a certain kind of coach. because some coaches won't even kick fucking 50-yard field goals. They're too worried about missing it and losing field position.

So you're going to need the right coach in the right situation with the right kicker. It kind of feels odd that we haven't had it already, to be honest. I mean, this is, it is, you need the right coach. So that means it can't ever really happen at a super major program, right? Right, right. Like it really, really can't. please do remember in 2015 right in practice mind you all right Texas's kicker Nick Rose hit an 80 yard field goal in practice 80 now I'm sure

I'm sure he had a robust wind okay but he still kicked a field goal from the 30 yard line his own 30 yard line right so if that's happening in practice you get somebody who's properly motivated, and you get like a top, I don't know, like a top 15 kicker, somebody who's like kind of off the map. I don't know in a game where stuff might not mean a lot and maybe you're up by 20 or 30 points. Do you bring someone out to try that?

I mean, yeah, I think you're right. Situationally, the thing that's rare is the situation, not whether the kicker can hit from 70, right? Well, I think the, yeah, I think that's the main thing. Like, there's almost no situation where, you want to do that because if you miss then they're in easy field goal range but like i mean i think there is a um an actual physical element to it because like if you're kicking it that far it's not going to have any trajectory to it at all you're kicking a line drive and that's pretty blockable

you know like like the kicks i feel like the kicks we see blocked usually those those long palms where they got to go you know you got to kick it hard not high so what you're saying is 70-yard surprise field goal attempt. They think, oh, it's second and 12, and they're, hmm, who's that wide receiver? Never seen him, boom. Line-up and field goal formation. 70-yard drop-kick.

Do it. 70-yard drop-kick field goal. It's too perfect. And the other reason we won't see it is to go all the way back. Every time now that somebody tries to kick a long field goal, especially in a close game, all college football fans are going oh we've got to watch for the kick six here

we're so smart we're so oh but you know he's gonna drop a man back there and you gotta watch out because he can hurt back for a touchdown that would be you know we were talking about worst ways to lose the game if you lost on a 70 yard field goal

which side like if they hit a 70 yard field goal I would I would chew up my own teeth and spit them out on oh whatever I'd be fucking thrilled I think that was amazing If that's how we lost I would think that was absolutely amazing if Florida lost on a 70-yard field goal

Just because that's some shit You've never seen Actually I would You know the only time I would laugh at that Is if Auburn beat us with a 70-yard field goal Auburn will beat Florida I don't know the next time Auburn plays Florida They will kick a 70-yard field goal to win the game

And Josh Black will probably have it commemoratized in some sort of bronze statue and sent to your house. Dude, if Auburn beat us in the 70-yard field goal, I'd get a back tat of it. I'd go to Auburn for a year. We have a couple of anonymous ones to go through.

Cowards. Let's see. We have a... Let's see. No, it says no ID. It's the producer. That's actually what I thought first, and then I also read it as noid. As the old... Same guy. Same guy. person, but I prefer going with no idea as producer.

He's very curious about college football, and particularly, I guess, about this, which is not college football related, but sure, it seems like a relevant question for somebody living in New York or the New York metropolitan area, whether it's smart and or reasonable to distill alcohol in your backyard in a crowded city. No. No. Okay, why not? Sell me on why not, because I like bad ideas.

because Explosions Because Splosions is one Because two If you live in a crowded city Alcohol is available to you And it's not that hard

So like Why are you doing this in the first place It's kind of like Urban chicken farmers It's like man we got eggs Stop chill the fuck out Walk down the street and buy the eggs It's not

You're what are you playing at here And most importantly Because you will almost certainly be doing this just to talk about it, and you're going to talk about it somewhere where somebody's like, yep, I'm a cop. I'm checking that out. 100%. It is the dumbest reason to lose your security deposit and potentially be unable to find an apartment in the city ever again, although you will, yeah, you'll probably find a landlord who's like, yeah, it's fine. I don't know. If you get kicked out of the city, then that's good because you don't

have to live in New York City anymore. Is it smart and or reasonable, I say, know should you do it it's your journey i really can't i can't choose your character i can't make your moves man what the spirit says if the spirit says make spirits i'm not going to fight you on this however i will point out that if my great great uncle got caught with a still somewhere in the woods of east tennis which did you you you you you you probably get your ass caught in like Chicago. It's just, I just see that happening. So good luck is

what I have to tell you. Good luck. I believe in you. Also, if he did do this, let me know. Yeah. I would like to try. Bring that shine. All right. Next, also from Noid. Tiger is back, baby.

Tiger is back. Tiger back. Tiger back. I think we're all unanimous. Tiger back. Tiger back. Nobody was horny on podcast, but we mentioned Tiger. Yes, he's horny. Yep. Horny. You know what? If we

do missionary, we're going to go gentle because we want to keep the back intact. We want them to do well for the Masters. So be gentle with Tiger, is what we're saying. Well, yeah, it's got to go four whole days. Got to go four whole days, and those glutes have to fire. So let's not waste that anywhere.

On the other side of this is the football question. Pitch chances to have a good season. No question there. No question, Mark. So roused right now. Yeah, I think Pitt is hoping to have like a good

Tiger scorecard, and that's 6 and 6. Just come in low. Don't get crazy with it. I don't know. Yeah. We'll look to see who Pitt plays this year. This is not, to be clear, this is not our Pitt preview. but they open the year.

Oh, with Albany. That's fun. Beyond that, they play Penn State. I think that's at Heinz Field. They've got Georgia Tech. They've got Syracuse. It's an okay schedule, although they do have non-conference road dates at UCF and Notre Dame. Oh, why?

So. Yeah. Boy, that's, that's. Awesome. How'd you pick that? How did you end up with that? Well, here's what's going to happen. Either they're going to beat UCF and UCF will be five and seven next year, so nobody will give a shit. Or they'll lose to UCF and Pitt will be five and seven and nobody will give a shit. There's no circumstance where this win is meaningful for the other team. UCF's going to roll up at 12-0

and they're going to say yeah that she got to play Pitt yeah pit on schedule when is when is a when is a mostly mediocre pit team most dangerous man I wish pit UCF is at the end of the year so it'd be like 11 and oh UCF

at number five in the playoff rankings they just got to finish this thing out and then we can all argue for 12 more oh no oh no the ghost of Dave wants it I mean, I know how this goes. Okay, I'm not even going to look at the rest of the schedule. I'm just going to tell you how the last four games go, okay? Because they got to go to Virginia.

And at this point, it'll be like, hey, you know what? Pits playing pretty well. Loss. Loss. All right. Complete, disappointing, dismal, inexplicable loss in Charlottesville, okay? Then they get Virginia Tech at home. Ah, they're going to play pretty game, man.

Lose by a fail goal. That's how that happens, all right? Then, to complete this kid at Wake Forest, man, we should be able to beat Wake. Nope, no, some ghastly, like, eight to three game, right? To just give Wake the win. Then finally they're going to play Miami. I don't know, man, Miami could be like undefeated at this point. Maybe one loss, looking good.

Got all kinds of aspirations. It's in Miami. It's in Coral Gables. Pit wins. There's no way, like if they lose those. three and they roll into Miami. No way Pitt doesn't pull a pit. They're like the suit in Black Panther.

More damage they take, the more powerful they get. Exactly. I also like that on the pit football site, when they're talking about the Notre Dame game, they do say this is the first time they visited South Bend since 2012, when they lost 2926 in triple overtime, to the eventual BCS runner-up. All of those things are true.

And they're just dripping in, like, hidden meaning. Just like, oh, the eventual BCS run rock, do you tell? What is, was it close? It didn't go to triple overtime, I'll tell you that much. No, it did not. Also, yeah, that game was bullshit, as I recall. So, that's fun. Also, Pitt has won 13 of the last 16 games against Syracuse.

God damn, Syracuse. There are children, there are children out here with driver's licenses. that are like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. Pitt owns us. You know, you know, people are watching these games, right? That's not necessarily true. I'm going to take that to me in Syracuse is constantly in the national title hunt. Constantly being wrecked by Pitt.

That's, that's it. This is my favorite, like, by the way, also, like, what do I want from a Pitt quarterback, right? I kind of want him to be, like, I don't know, sort of vaguely replaceable, right? Yeah. I want to be scrappy. I think you need injury averse. Indefinitely. Can he hand off real well, right?

Does he occasionally roll out and make a pass? He has no business making, right? Yeah. Yeah, can he pick it, man? Can he pick it? Do you think Pitt erase Nathan Peterman's records from their books at this point? No, man. It's an NFL starter.

They're putting him on their recruiting materials. Come to Pitt and start. for the bills. Is that a threat? That's what I'd go into that Virginia Tech game thing. I'd be like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, you got to

what Tyrod Taylor. That's the last start of you put. Yeah, guess what? Guess who he lost out to. That's right. Nathan Peterman lost his job. God, God, I would love if Pitt and Virginia Tech

created a traveling trophy that was just like a laminated copy of the bill's depth chart. Nobody wants to touch it. look at it's like the arc I don't know don't look in there Tyra Taylor I know you're a brown now but I don't want to acknowledge that

let's see I want to go to let's see we're off of we're off of no ID thank you for the hot tracks I wanted to finish up with Frank Frank's got two real important questions one what is Sean Connery's best movie you mean besides Zardaws

that's his best costume that's different 100% his best costume. Yeah. Oh, God. Hold on. If you're at work, Google image search Zardaz,

Sean Connery. Do it on your work computer. But only if you're at work. Okay, thank you. Continue. Yeah, you've just been fired. Do it on your best computer. Do it?

All right. If you're giving a presentation at work and you're listening to this podcast, first of all, you're going to get fired anyway. Second of all, pause the podcast, pause the presentation, put up on that big beautiful screen, Google image search, Sean Connery, Zardaz, Z-A-R-D-O-Z. We need that to be our discount for any podcast ad reads, right? Use offer code Zardos.

Go to bowjangles.com slash Zardaws. Zaxby's like, how do we miss out on this? Um, but yeah, I, if I had to actually consider what the best Sean Conner, my favorite Sean Connery role, uh, it's Last Crusade. It is, it is unexpectedly playful. Um, and it's a good sort of like late career turn for him. I think that was like the second or third to last movie he did. Um, it is his best, I do enjoy that role. I don't think it's the movie he did that I enjoyed the most. I will, I will ride with Hunt for Red October there.

That's a solid pick. I just never get tired of watching it. Never get tired of watching it. I don't know why. It's just a good... I think it's hard to make a submarine movie that is all that interesting because it just doesn't film that well,

and all the spaces are tight, and most submarine movies are about like, oh, we're probably going to drown. It's like, well, yeah, you're on a submarine. It feels like that was obvious. But I do really like The Hunt for Red October. Put me down for The Rock. Great choice.

That may be the one where I think he phones it in with the most glee. Like, I'm being paid for this. I can't believe. You want me to say this line. Fine. Welcome to the Rock. The other choice, the other choice if you just want the ludicrousness of him pronouncing his character's name, is, of course, the 80s classic Highlander, in which Sean Connery, not attempting to do any kind

of accent whatsoever because he can't, and Hunt for Red October is proof of that as well. It's not like he ever is speaking in a Russian accent. It's just Sean fucking Connery. Plays a character with this name, Juan Sanchez Villalobos Ramirez. Does this character say his own name when he introduces himself in Sean Connery's voice? yes he does go YouTube that it's fucking amazing also this character was born in Egypt that's your sauce on that and currently lives in Scotland Cincinnati via Spain that's absolutely amazing and then the last question from Frank

what teams will have a breakout you year and have an outside chance of making the playoffs. I'm not going to pretend to know this right now. Here, I'll just pick a team out of my ass. Pit. There we go. There. It's Pitt. I was going to go. I was actually going to go with Washington. Sure. I don't know if it's a breakout year when they made the playoffs two seasons ago. Did they? They did.

Their appearance would have been respectable by Big Ten standards. That's true. They're a few too many points by Big Ten standards. Let me down for TCU. I pick TCU in this spot every year. I'll write it. Okay. So you want a breakout year.

You don't want somebody who... Okay. So I'm not going to be able to bank on recent credit. I need somebody who's going to rocket in from mediocrity. Then you want them back in the high life. Purdue. Boom. Here.

There's mine. A&M because we know they're winning a title by 2099. Promises have been made. Damn, that's some impressive shit. Man, I was just going through these and I'm like, do we dare make the wager that, you know, we've been waiting on? Do we dare assume that somebody might theoretically fill a spot in their trophy case that's infamously empty.

Hell. Virginia Tech? Let's roll. Come on. Yeah, fine. Virginia Tech. Great. I love it.

I think that's a great. I love that option. I think it's fantastic. I would be thrilled if Virginia Tech made the playoff. Can we end with something? I know we usually just end the podcast out of nowhere, but I do want to end it in a bit of a formal way

because I have a request, if that's okay with the two of you. By all means. um so i want to try something uh i just want to try something i just want to see how this goes i think this is a good test sample podcast for this because it's pretty football light you had to listen to pitt's schedule but by the time you got to be like that was well into it if you if you listen and subscribe to this podcast this is what i would like you to do i would like you to send it to somebody that you are positive does not listen to this podcast whatsoever. They're probably

going to tell you to fuck off. They already have 18 podcasts to listen to and they're better than this one. And that's fine. But if you do get total strangers who are unfamiliar with us and this sad brand of entertainment that we peddle, please, I would like to see like a text screenshot or a Google chat screenshot or an email something. I just want, I don't need them to like get in on the long haul. I just want you to sort of be our market testers

out there. Send these to people who don't know what this is and get their reaction. I'm just curious. This isn't for any like meaningful, long-term purpose. I just want to know how people who have no reason to like this actually

don't. I just want to confirm that for myself. Once you do send those in, we will send you 100 swag bucks.