Shutdown Fullcast - ShutdownFullcast11

Episode Date: November 20, 2013

This week's Shutdown Fullcast focuses on mysterious Big Ten, the surprising depth of week eleven's lineup, and Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I mean, that's some hotness if you're talking about Auburn, Georgia. What a finish. What a finale. What chaos. But low, conceded SEC fan. Let me tell you, that kind of hot action happens every week in a little conference with the big name. That'd be the big ten. Oh, joining us since Celebrity Hot Tub flaked out on us to spend time with his girl.

girls you um joining us is uh adam jacobi Iowa fan and uh

our resident big 10 correspondent hello Adam hello Spencer wow did you hear that did you hear that clear

diction that enunciation do you hear that kind of so learned you know Tom Broca's in Iowa and uh everybody

so everybody from the state talks like tom brokaw you're welcome rest of the nation wow damn see walter kronkite was always my guy because he has just a little bit of texas behind the way that he would in tone so even from the beginning my formality was redneck is what i'm saying brocock and brocock and suck it um so i was going to ask you we discussed this you're an iowa fan and before the season even started I said you guys were going to win, what, eight games? I believe you did. I think you tabbed it at eight and four, and lo and behold, they're on that pace.

Six wins right now. Six wins, and two games that I was afraid were not winnable at the beginning of the year, but it turns out Michigan and Nebraska are horrible at football this year. it's amazing that kind of by the way the mention the mere mention of Nebraska is what got us talking about this in the first place because

while the SEC is sitting a gog over the fish to Auburn Georgia which to be fair dropped the pants of my mind when it happened that Nebraska just had oh you know little Hail Mary to finish things off against Northwestern no big deal

yeah it was and it wasn't your standard run-of-the-mill, Hail Mary. No, no, no. It was a third-string, eighth-year, former walk-on senior with the three at the end of his name, throwing to a guy I've never heard of

who might also be a walk-on. I don't know. You've never heard of Jordan Western Camp, have you? Of course not. Sir. He plays in the Big Ten, so. I mean, we don't, we don't know him. Was he, was he three stars?

He never said, Taylor Martinez. I'm sorry, who? Who? He's the most dynamic pseudo-quarterback in the United States. And it was a game finisher, a game winner, not like the pedestrian hailstrian hailed area of Auburn, Georgia, which left much too much time on the clock. Oh, no, this one. was as the clock struck aughts.

That's a good point, because the Auburn, Georgia finished. That one kind of oversigned on time, so to speak. As far as time goes, it was a little overweight as well. A little, yeah. I mean, you figured if they were better at math, they could have looked up and noticed that they needed this many seconds to run off the clock before it. But whatever.

Yeah, well, you know, that's, I guess that's just the difference between two conferences, when one of them values academics and one of them doesn't. Hey, you know what? We don't need to count our sacks. Also, we only need to learn a new number next year when it becomes seven in a row. Seven. Seven.

Set of six, son. Those are our talking points, by the way. They're sent around on sheets of crayon written on the back of R.C. Cola boxes. Actually, it's just posted in the back of the Kroger. Post it out back of the Kroger. Says you'll be back there anyway. Yeah, you know, it's out back of the Kroger and or Hogvale. Same thing, really.

One's on the Internet. It's the back of the Kroger on the Internet. Hogvale.net, y'all. I was also going to ask you, by the way, since I am so right about all things, B-1G. And we did discuss Northwestern as a disaster last week. But I'm going to broach a subject, Jason, since you're kind of an apostate, SEC fan. Because if you don't know, I'm going to expose Jason for what he is. He's a southerner, but he's not an SEC fan, particularly.

That's true. I thought you were a dogs fan, Jason. Yeah, there's kind of this mystery about who exactly I root for. I think a lot of people assume Georgia. Some people think Georgia Tech. Some people think Florida. I got mixed up with Spurs. Spencer and Mr. Hot Tub, so some people think I'm a Florida fan.

But, yeah, I don't root for any SEC teams. Yes, being a Kennesaw State, Al, go owls. His loyalties are to a team that plays, you know, recreational football. That's not pseudo-professional. Club hockey team. Yeah, they do have a club hockey team, right? Yeah, we're real good. you in alabama by the way alabama also very committed to hockey weirdly enough i think it's

because i think it's because it's the sport i think it's the sport that white people dominate so secretly also i was reading today that they have a very good tv ratings in uh soccer did you know that that's so i did evidently that generation's going all wrong pal unless unless it's part of nick sabin's plan to recruit kickers on the cheap which is a really i think it's sort of It's sort of just where they stash extra wide receivers and cornerbacks. You ever thought about playing soccer, son? Did you sign a kicker? Yeah, man, I signed 11 up, and they called the soccer.

We call them midfielder's, but oh, yeah. Is that Lionel Messi on the bench? Yeah, you know, he just hasn't done the things he needs to do, gestures with hands. But I was going to ask you, in the Big Ten, I really do think that there is Slight market improvement overall throughout the conference. Slight. I'm not saying the pool is full all the way up to the blue tile yet, right? Right, right.

Now, certainly it's better than last year. But that's like saying that having three fingers is better than one finger on your left hand. Are you describing the Big Ten as the lizard, which can regenerate not only its tail, but its limbs? So it's sort of got one grown back and then maybe part of the back one. And it's like, next year, three legs. Now, what I'm describing the Big Ten as is in 2012, it was the hand that was holding the firecracker that blew up and all the fingers flew off, except for the ring finger, as luck would have it. in 2013 they got to the hospital they were able to reattached two of them and maybe we can maybe salvage some quality of life here son but you really shouldn't have been drinking and playing with fireworks well now what they do with those other two fingers are those going to be turning into sausages and then what y'all eat up there uh we bronzed them

and turn them into a heinous rivalry trophy That's it, the old bucket of fingers. Those are for the Rutgers-Nabrasca rivalry game coming your way. Yeah, you need some new ones, right? So I guess the bucket of fingers is the new Rutgers-Nabraska trophy. Problem solved. This is for the old bucket of fingers. Somehow it's been played for 116 times.

They're just now in the conference. Nobody knows how. It's got right on the side of the bucket of fingers. the results from 1842. It's amazing. Somehow, they painted 137 games worth of results on the two mingled fingers. It's amazing like that. Actually, you have to give a finger after the game. So someone from the opposing team has to donate one, which is then bronzed. Well, from the winning team, it's more of an honor.

That would be the most Michigan man, who's giving us a finger? and that's why they sign one polydactyl every single recruiting cycle, right? Damn dude's got seven fingers, man. Take one off. He can't even feel those two little nubs on the end. You think you'd be a better wide receiver, but no separation, none. Got Will it by December, only seven fingers. The bucket of fingers.

I also wanted to ask you about a few unknowns in the Big Ten, i.e., I do actually, I think Bill C is very big on them, Bill Connelly, our superb writer, at SVNation.com. He's big on them. And what I've seen of them, they got royally screwed in one game and nearly beat the best team of the conference the other. That would be Wisconsin. Oh, I thought you were going to say Northwestern. No, Wisconsin is a team of absolute utter ass blasters. And I don't mean that in a sexual way.

I mean a you are going to medical attention kind of way they're phenomenal they are getting screwed beyond belief by the pulse investors the BCS and for whatever reason

it's probably it just comes down to schedule quirks or whatever but if you know every metric that actually takes into account how many points you score which is what teams are trying to do the entire time they're on the field

rates Wisconsin highly like top 10 highly you take the points out you know again a brilliant move and they're rated down by like northern Illinois and it's too bad because if you actually watch them you're like how in the world

would my team beat this team you know unless you're Alabama but if you're Alabama you're not watching Big Ten football for any reason whatsoever but you know 90, 95% of college football, you're like, Jesus, these guys are good. And they are.

They only lost to, you know, number three, Ohio State by seven points. And Arizona State, another really underrated team by, you know, what was it, one point or two points or whatever, they really shouldn't have lost. That was just a screw job of epic proportion. The only thing I, the only thing that I, the only weakness I know for Wisconsin as a team all around is taking a knee. That's the only thing I've seen them, that's the only thing I've seen them do a shitty job of all year long is taking a knee. Everything else, they even look, this may be overstepping a little bit, but to me they look more together than they did under Bilema. Imagine that. They brought a guy from Utah and all of a sudden they're running a type of.

leadership? Like, who could have saw that coming? Then Brett Bilema, who, you know, I'm, I, listen, I'm not going to, I mean, Jayes, we're not, we're not going to make too much fun of Bilema in reality, right? We're just making fun of Brett Bilema. Not the situation he happens to be in in Arkansas, right? Well, there's a lot. There are jokes to be made. We could avoid them if that's what you're saying. No, no, no. Let's plow headlong into them. did want to uh now that we've discussed the big ten never let us say that we're partisans we put like 12 minutes on the big ten damn i know that happened it felt like 12 hours it felt like driving across illinois the big tent the big tent hey missouri's in conference now that's the one that takes the longest to drive it hey you know which one i saw a meth

anagram sign in what it was illinois i do not i do not recall what it said. I do recall that it said M-E-T-H and it all stood for stuff and it's telling me not to use meth. But that was in Illinois, not Missouri. You know, the southern half of the southern half of Illinois,

most people say, ah, you know, that place is just like, you know, it's like the ass end of the universe. No, quite anatomically correct to say that Illinois is a bowel. It's just this, southern Illinois is just

this enormous bowel in Chicago. just does all the eaten and then it processes out through the southern end of Illinois and goes straight into Memphis where does it flow goes right in Missouri and Memphis just it's like it's kind of draining the Great Lakes like filtering the Great Lakes it does it's really the United States is a self-cleaning up so the Great Lakes maybe it's kind of like an infection and the state of Illinois is there too it's just a just a bandage that was just slap on top of it. I think the Great Lake starts

out fine, and then it has to pass through Chicago. And then once it gets through Illinois, it then has to sort of process down through America's bowels into its genitals, which are probably located where? Cave and Rock.

You're saying there. Idiot. New Orleans! Oh, that's right. They're right there. I thought we were still talking about Illinois as its own separate entity. No one. No, it doesn't deserve that.

You don't deserve that. You don't deserve that. You insulted Southern Illinois. You damn right. You know where I've lived? I lived in Florida. I'll insult anywhere I like because I lived in the worst. I lived in the worst least probable territory in the United States. Like Arizona makes more sense than living in Florida because I'm pretty sure Arizona is going to be there at 150 years. That's a good point. Yeah. I lived in a place where people still, like, how stupid is it?

But people still sell houses in Florida. Nobody at any point goes, oh, yeah, you know, it's going to be underwater. No, no, no. They're like, nope, it's a house. You know what's even stupider than that? Buying them. Oh, yeah, but some stuff like hotcakes. It's 90 feet from the water.

What could go wrong? Water's pretty. $1.2 million for an apartment? Sure. Hey, they say the water's getting closer. I call that an investment. For now it's beachfront. Soon it'll be island front.

That's true. I'm going to be living in the Venice of America. That is, by the way, the serious, like when people talk to you about Miami, they're like, oh, no, listen, those global warming freaks. It's going to be like Venice. It's like, have you smelled Venice? Okay. Now, imagine what Miami's going to smell like. Imagine what happens when jet skis become a form of commuting.

How's that going to go at Miami? Answer, poorly. Very poorly. It'll be like they've been planning for this for a long time. I know. It'll be Jeremy Shockey everywhere. That's it. It'll be just Jeremy Shockey on a jet ski.

I'm in Kellynne Winslow. Millions of them in one city. Millions of Jeremy's Shockey. Yeah. Oh, and just try to keep Coke out of Miami when you turn the whole thing into water. how's that going to go? So the brief diversion into environmental science aside, I would like to go ahead and state that, yes,

the only moment of what I think is a rather lackluster year for singular moments, not involving defensive tackles, catching fake punts for TDs, would be Auburn, Georgia. No? I mean, am we missing anything else that sort of made your jaw drop besides that and the Nebraska

Northwestern Hail Mary. That's basically it. I mean, those two sort of broke the curve for everything else. Like, oh, yeah, you know, that one team, I think it was Fresno State, ran a really cool fat guy touchdown trip play. Like, yeah, all right, but Hail Mary from 75 yards off a tip to a guy who wasn't even looking. Like, okay, that wins. You win.

Yeah, and there's been the standard range of, oh, that's what? really good catch and everyone kind of yells about it for five minutes and then never remembers it again like the UCF catch the one-handed diving catch that ended up contributing to the win over temple which went over temple um that's a really good catch you know great maybe we call that the catch of the year and then we don't have to call anything else the catch of the year because you know all catches are pretty good so i would i would do this catch thoughts i think that a lot of what we would consider to be like super purb highlights are probably being played out in places where they don't get seen enough.

For instance, if you put together a highlight tape of everyone that Andrea Williams at Boston College has buried this year at running back, oh, he's had some, he's had some heinous runs against admittedly shitty competition for the most part. But remember that Boston College was the only team to sort of put a scare into Florida State, you know, prior to a brief philip of competition a brief lip of competition in the miami game and i think they solely did it because andrea williams is terrifying yeah like not just his highlight runs like every week he's just trampling somebody and looks like a dad playing with his kids but like looking at the numbers um not only does it lead the country in rushing and total offense he's doing it by himself like

the boston college passing game ranks like one 15th even Kadeen Carey gets more of a passing game than André Williams does. It's, I mean, the most valuable player in the country, perhaps. I would agree. For a given value of, like, you know, singular dominance surrounded by mediocrity, he's there. You know who he reminds me of is Troy Davis, you know, at Iowa State. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because, you know, when he was, you know, racking up the 2,000 yards on some just heinously

bad teams you know he was doing it by rushing like 45 times a game every single game and people were like yeah those yards for carry aren't that great he's only doing that because he's rushing it 40 times game that is the hardest thing in football to do like you after 30 carries you should be like I'm just going to go to the hospital now like I'm done forever but yeah no like Like Jabbar Gaffney, all right, all right. I was about to say Jabar Gaffney because it's very late. But I was going to say. Tyler Gaffney.

Tyler Gaffney. It's Stanford. Thank you. Tyler Gaffney, when he had, was it 42 carries? Yes. For an average of something like, you know, four yards. Lower. Yeah, I mean, it was, I mean, it was mind-boggling because it was a lot.

like watching someone put up 225 on their back and get out of the rack on a squat, right? And you're like, I can do that five times. I can do that ten times. He just did it 15 times. Holy crap, he did it 30 times.

Watching him do, like, watching him do reps of this extremely basic run over and over and over and over again, I mean, it was, it was just, it was astonishing. You're like, man, this is kind of boring, but kind of majestic. the same time.

It's sort of like the big time. So, you know, if I could just get back to, I'd like to say a kind word about my football conference, these gentlemen play a stellar game while maintaining a rigorous academic standard. It's like watching weightlifting. You know, it's so impressive when you get a degree from Wisconsin. That's my favorite. When somebody cites, I've complained about this before, but when somebody cites the value

of a big 10 degree. They're like, oh, yeah. I mean, that's just, you show them that Indiana diploma and like, boom, six figures. When you're 55. Maybe. Provided they don't doubt, I just move the company of Texas. The University of Minnesota, the Harvard of the Yukon. Did you see that?

That's an Illinois man. It's the best, it's the most, like, you have to say that for SEC fans. I haven't met in many of them who are like, yeah, man, he went to Ole Miss. I mean, don't mess with that brain. Smart boy. A smart boy there. I mean, he had to go to Delta Community College first, but he got there. He got Ian.

I noticed you guys danced around the ultimate degree to be had in the Big Ten, which is, of course, Ohio State. Oh, no, no. you want i don't want i'll dance right into that if you want they're the worst they're the worst about this by the way oh yeah and which is ridiculous because it is one of the least academic environments in the entire united states like their coach showed up in a sweater vest

and they're like what is this he looks like some sort of super professor like we got smart people on campus but this is next level. They're the ones full sight. Oh, you know, Woody Hayes, he made people call him Professor Hayes. Because he was crazy.

Right. Not because he was smart. Also, if that's a quality professor you have on campus, probably ought to shut up about your academics. Yeah. If he's capable of holding that position. Yeah, for a sustained amount of time, by the way, including, you know,

assaulting someone in the course of pursuing his academic duties as Professor Woody Hayes. He ate a pigeon during half time during one game. I'm just 70 to 80% sure that's true. Didn't look it up, but it's probably right. I didn't go to Ohio State. I can't go to a library and figure that out, obviously. Wow.

Because, you know, you roll up to Wall Street, and you're like, I went to Ohio State. Man, those Princeton boys, shit in their britches. The doors just swing wide open. Everyone just ushers you right through. Good, good. We needed someone to figure out the situation. Did you say Ohio or Ohio State?

State. Oh, my God. That's great because the shuttle, it's in an orbit, but it's degenerating. And meanwhile, they're like, I can make a bong out of an apple, and I took some marketing classes. If I could recommend a course of action, I would say we call the shuttle a sore loser. I'm going to make this sign of a vagina with my hands. If you see, the

index finger and the middle finger are put into an oval, thus signifying the entry to the uterus, aka the vagina, and I will show this at an injured player, possibly one that's been paralyzed on the field. Also, that shuttle's dup. The other, by the way,

the other guy who, like, in terms of having a moment where you sort of, like, dropped your jaw, I am now numb to it, but it is still watching Jonathan Manzell the 15th watching watching him play quarterback is now

it's now sort of you're kind of numb to it because you've seen it but it's still spectacular I agree with that because not only does he just still doing amazing things it's something different every time so basically he's like the arcade fire of quarterbacks

no because they suck I have no damn idea what that means yeah no Johnny Mansell at no point in his life has gone I need this to be anthemic Who is the arcade fire quarterbacks though The arcade fire quarterbacks?

Oh, Tim Tebow Tim Tebow was the arcade fire quarterback I need to be dramatic Siri You need to give me more time I'm working on something brilliant back here I need to emote and move to Austin and then move away from Austin.

Stop knocking me over. I'm composing masterpieces. Can you sing along with it? Take eight minutes. Eight seconds. In concert, we must all switch instruments, which are all autisional and have been made of reclaimed wood,

which was not taken from a living tree. So you might have stumbled in. I think you stumbled in two people who don't really like Arcade Fire, one on principle, one from a... experience, Adam. That's another cultural gap, by the way. This is not a stump. Oh, no. People from the Midwest love them some anthemic white music. Believe me. I knew what I was getting into here.

Back to pass, and he's holding a hurdy-gurdy. I would laugh so hard if that happened. Like, if the lead singer of the arcade fire, Pip? I'm going to call him Pip. If he just if he just sort of got a Stephen Godfrey looking ass, dropped back from under center clumsily, right, because he's got big knees, and he just threw a hurdy-gurdy down the field.

Oh, that'd be magnificent. But I would go ahead and, by the way, also remind you that somebody who has played spectacular at times quarterback at his level, okay, and played probably the best game of quarterback I've seen this year in person.

And I can't get it out of my mouth. Do you know who I'm going to say, Jason? Just thinking of who you've seen in person. And it was nails in this game. He was amazing. Is that an ambulance I hear pulling up? Oh, that'd be Dr. Bo! Yes, sir.

That's granted, it's not an ambulance. It's a hearse with a disco ball on it. But it'll get you there. Mississippi. It'll make do. Cop will let you go. They see something shiny on the road. They want nothing to do with it. Presume it's one of them interterestials. Yeah. Might be the devil.

Just let them go. It's that Joplin spooklite I heard so much about. To go slice of Mississippi, we found them. Yeah, no, that's the best game I've seen in person, quarterback-wise, which may be damning with faint praise, but Considering the first game you went to was A.J. McCarron versus Logan Thomas, and I don't think you've been to many otherwise. But still, yeah, Dr. Bo.

Dr. Bo was throwing dime, son. He was unreal. He was not Logan Thomas, and that meant a lot. Adam, have you been to, have you been in any games this year, actually? Of course not I weren't I worked 12 hours a Saturday for you guys Okay well you know just asking

You know You can catch it And it's not like they play on Thursday night Up in the Big Ten they don't do that Oh no That's true At least you know kind of the luxury of being able to do that here You know because

You know down here We play football I'm not even joking We play football six nights or seven nights a week You can get that Tuesday We just include the Mac in there You can get Tuesday Sunbelt Wednesday

Hey man The Sunbelt was doing Tuesday For the Mac West Yeah they were That's true So like yeah We get five days a week And if you don't get a game down here on Friday

There's high school games Best gambling in Atlanta Is this true Is that a valid Subculture of Atlanta Oh yeah Oh yes gambling on high school games is real and it gets real real when you go to

Miami oh god yeah astonishing amount of gambling so um looking over that if we've excused the exemplary and outstanding players and or plays from the year thus far I think we can move to the weekend which kind of an odd weekend not really totally building to a crescendo just yet. There is a very large game in Stillwater, Oklahoma, between undefeated Baylor and the one-loss Oklahoma State Cowboys team. Jason Kurt, discuss. Well, the thing is, there are many important facts in the world today

about these two teams. I was just thinking about Adam's, What is it? Board 10th grader book reports on... Board high school student, yes. Board high school students. Y'all got to go read those. Blackheart gold pants.

They're hilarious. Yeah, obviously looking forward to this game. Kind of think Baylor's going to win. Stillwater's going to be pretty crazy. Nice late kick. Oklahoma State, as we've discussed, is a very hard team to pin down. We know what Baylor's going to do, but Oklahoma State, no clue at all. Baylor's banged up.

just lost an offensive lineman today or yesterday. So, you know, it's definitely a game with a lot of questions in the air. A lot of factors. There are many factors in the world. There are undetermined quantities surrounding this game. Some would say there are factors. And that if a running. back for one of them, he would be a

factor fact. And then if a quarterback were one of them, he would be a quarter factor. The thing that I'm, by the way, I'm going to this game. I like to say this a lot because it's awesome. And I want everyone to be very jealous of that. Even though it's Stillwater, and I don't understand how everyone isn't really excited to go to Stillwater, Oklahoma, in November. It could snow, by the way. Well, you go there for

the for the visuals. And there's nothing quite as picturesque and breathtaking. It's Stillwater, Oklahoma. The snow cavern peaks of Stillwater, Oklahoma. When the frost starts tickling the red clay

or something. You don't even know if they have red clay. I never set up in that state. Glaciers are breaking against the coastline. When the hail really begins to teeter in, Across the glass trees.

When the sleet causes you to slam into a cow. You know, the cows, free-ranging, free-roaming, they're worshipped, as gods. When the migrating dinosaurs come home to roost. Oh, now you've gone too far. Oh, sorry, sorry. That, it is, by the way, allegedly a very good crowd. is also susceptible to earthquakes, if you'll remember. This will be Kirk Herb Street's first time back in Stillwater since the Great Earthquake game.

Do you think of Musterger's going to mess with him, like jiggle his chair a little bit? All night. Yeah, constantly. All night. And, like, Kurt may be legitimately freaked out about it, and Brent won't care. He's probably gambling on how Rattledee can make him. Can I get him? Can I get him to cuss on air?

I'll give you a five, too. I can get a shit on air. We'll have to hit the button. A couple of my guys out in Montana have pretty good numbers on how many cuss words I can get out of him tonight. We've never really discussed that Brent knows bookies in Montana. Yeah, that's good gambling. Cool. If a river runs...

It's even better than offshore. If a river runs through it is to be believed, it's the kind that can get you beaten to death. Yeah, that's how he likes it. Yeah, that's exactly. Because what's money? What's money to him? He's 900 years old and profoundly wealthy, just based on all the winning he's done.

Yeah, it's all a thrill. Remember that Brent Musburger was the kind of guy used to run the toll booth from New York to Connecticut for fun while drinking a 16-ounce moosehead beer in a can. Yeah. Governor Montana. So remember, that's the kind of guy where you're just, dealing with.

Yeah. Curve Street. Watch your back. Yeah. That's other things of note this weekend, by the way, just to take a look if we want to look around. Late kick for Baylor, Oklahoma at 8 p.m. I am outside, by the way.

And my neighbor's dogs are stupid. My apologies. We have working in reverse order. We have, I think, an interesting game, Missouri at Mississippi. The late game for the SEC, starting at 745. which speaking to Dr. Boe, Old Miss is 7 and 3, which I'd kind of lost track of them and thought, oh, they're probably like, you know, yeah, you know, like I had no idea what their record was. And then you look up and you're like, well, hell, they're 7 and 3.

They're right there. That's a spectacular. All they're pretty good. And I don't, like, coming into the year, if someone had said pick the biggest SEC game of week 13. Well, you got A&M LSU, that's pretty big too. But, Missouri Ole Miss, ranked versus ranked. Who saw that come in? Top 10 versus top 25.

So A&MLSU has no bearing on the SEC championship whatsoever. Yeah, it's just really good. But Ole Miss Missouri, like, that's going to decide a whole lot in that conference, or at the very least factor into it. So that's going to be fun. And also, have you guys seen the betting line on it? It's like two points. So, like, there's a very high probability of shenanigans happening late.

It's going to be awesome. Yeah, and then everybody on Twitter all at once going, back door cover, back door cover. Oh, God. That's, yeah, we know you can count. Now, I would think shenanigans at this point would favor Ole Miss. Mm-hmm. do we agree or disagree there and it's at it's it's at oxford so right yes and they by the way very similar teams in terms of how they kind of do things both spread teams both do a lot of

perimeter runs old misses defense might do one of those things where they just show up and wrecked shit that's every now that like that's what happened in the lSU game they made the three plays they had to make, right? And just, they, they have nobody. Like, name a starter who isn't, you know, named Kandke. Or Mike Mary, right? I happen to know Mike Mary up the top of my head as well. And then after that, uh, Jason Johnson. Now, well, the thing about, I mean, the thing about all those young guys is they're either going to play really great or not so great from week to week. Whereas Mizzou, like, what are we going to get out of James Franklin that's going to surprise us at all we know exactly what he's going to do he's going to throw it for 285 yards you know like

he's going to have a a good game but old miss if they all play it great then everything's off the table additionally um this is i believe is this miss i don't think they've played there i don't think they played in oxford i think last year they weren't on the last year they weren't on the schedule so this is a or if they were they played in missouri so this will be their first time in Oxford, so we can't really state that, you know, oh, they've got that stank record there. We have no idea. They went to almost in 2007. Oh, my gosh, they did. How'd they do? They won. They won? Okay. All right, that's it. All my money's on Missouri. Now, we're also talking about Gary Pinkle has been to the Grove, and he thought he mastered it, like, oh, yeah, I got this,

I got this, and I was going to go back and, you know, maybe go a little too hard this time around. Hey, Grove 1, Missou, Zero. That's all I'm saying. Thus far. Cleaning up the SEC, by the way, kind of a lackluster slate for, you know. America.

Not so fast. Not so fast, sir. I know, I know. We've got LSU, Texas A and Lurking there. We also have the bitter, probably the bitterest game in the SEC this week. That'd be Vanderbilt at Tennessee. yeah there's that too yeah yeah that's not what you're thinking but no no no no no no no it's a nasty little rivalry

and one that by the way tennessee could steal like this is a game tennessee could pull out pull it could no that's just funny what a thing to say Tennessee could steal from vanderville because that's that's kind of the correct way to say it that's funny Tennessee would be stealing from the homes of fanderfield crats the only way they get to bail meed Paul. You had, Jason, another game in mind. Well, just the entire SEC SOCOM Challenge, we look forward to it every year. Alabama Chattanooga, Florida, Georgia, I mean, yeah, Florida, Georgia Southern.

Which we could lose. Georgia Southern is down this year, and I still think Florida could lose. Clemson-Sedadale, that's an honorary game, as is South Carolina, Coastal Carolina. I even think we include FSU, Idaho as an honorary game there. Just really, really excited because somebody is going to be winning by like eight points in the fourth quarter and everyone's going to make fun of them. Georgia's Southern Florida. That's a few, there's your, there it is. Big dumb Will Must Champ football.

Looking across going, someday we're going to compete with George Souther. I'm at that point where I'd throw Will Must Champ to a wood chipper. Happily Not really He'd probably break that He would He'd be like I got this wood chipper

Just going to grit through it And make a play It's like gnawing on his leg And he's just getting pissed off And the thing just shuts down Just snags on his leg Punches his way out And then comes and sits by you

And talks to you What the hell was that? What was that about? Why did you throw me on the damn wood chipper? I had emotions, that's why, irrational emotions will must champ. But looking outside, you know, the conference, LSU, Texas A&M, by the way, it'll be awesome. It'll be a mess.

Just an absolute bloody mess. But looking outside God's conference. Adam, anything of note, how fair is the Big Ten this week? Well, I'm glad you asked. I don't know why we got Irish there. Believe it or not, there are some actual, like, games of consequence in the Big Ten. There's Iowa against Michigan? Was that really the one to start with, sir?

No, it is because, you know why? It starts at 12.01 p.m. They're like, no, no, no, no. This is too hot for noon. We've got to back it off a minute. I mean, if we're being honest, the conference season's basically already over. It's Ohio State and Michigan State.

They're going to play in the Big Ten championship. I mean, technically, I guess Minnesota is still in the running, sort of, but they have to beat Wisconsin and then go to Michigan State and win. And I love Minnesota. I love Jerry Kill, but let's not kid ourselves. So that's never happening. As a blast, I would strongly recommend that you watch Indiana at Ohio State because they're the chaos team.

And that means that they could hang around in a 45 to 45 game late, or they could lose by 80. And either way it's going to be entertaining in its own perverse way. and if you're going to let Illinois hang around in a game. I like that you said they, and what about? Well, I was going to say, if you let Illinois hang around in a game, you can let anyone hang around in a game. Ohio State. Yeah, they're probably going to be a little upset about the fact that Baylor is within hours

of taking over the number three spot. Well, that ain't fair. Well, it is. It is. So either they take it out on Indiana or they watch helplessly as Indiana rolls up 45 points on them. They still win by double digits if that happens, but it's still going to be funny. I now love this role that Ohio State is in of being like the perpetual second banana, the overshadowed. Like, keep what, what, what?

Yeah, no, no, kid, get out of here. we're talking to the stars i signed with the studio first yeah whatever go do some voiceovers i got a real star right here i hope that uh albert brier the the nfl dot com reporter i hope he keeps up every sunday the thing he was doing on on uh this past sunday and the rankings were coming out just like like profound upset person Ohio State being, you know, losing ground to Baylor and, you know, stuff like, well, Baylor doesn't have as many players in the NFL as Ohio State does, so Ohio State's better. And, you know, the whole thing's not fair. It's like, well, yeah, it hasn't been fair for 150 years.

It's not really supposed to be fair. You guys want to hear my mixtape? No one wants to hear your mixtape, Urban Meyer. get back in the green room. Anything, by the way, that Michigan-Iowa game, such a strong chance of being like our 6-3 game, right? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you guys know what Michigan does on the road, and it's not good.

So, one, there's literally no chance in Michigan wins that game, none whatsoever. But at the same time, it's Iowa. football, and Iowa football is, like, equally horrible at random times. So there's a profound possibility that both teams lose. I don't know how, like, it's not supposed to happen. Like, they have rules against that, but they're feeling frisky enough to break that rule. I, uh... Now, a whole Michigan crack 10 rushing yards is the big question.

no no absolutely not i think that they abandoned the run i am going to say uh i'm going to take that that bet adam jacobi i am going to bet i can't believe this is a bet i can't believe this is something you can say realistically about michigan about michigan you ready i write this down put it in bronze Make it a rivalry trophy. That me exactly, that Michigan and Maryland as rivals. I don't even know if they play. They'll share this plaque that says, I predict that Michigan will have more than 10 yards rushing against Iowa,

a six-in-four team in the third week of November. That feels so good. What I really like is Michigan is doing that with a top-10 draft half pick on the offensive line. How damn bad are the other four guys? Are they even there? At times, no. I mean, they're trying.

They're trying really hard. Yeah, I don't want to make them feel bad if they're listening. I'm sorry, guys. They're trying. Football's a hard. It's a football is a hard game. Hey, they're doing way better than I would be. That's for sure.

It's hard to football. I'm not so sure about that, Jason. Jason might actually have the humility to just attempt to dive into the knee every play. Yeah, well. As opposed to, I got that. Just hold. Just hold every time. You can't lose rushing yards if you're holding.

That's a penalty. It's true. It's not negative rushing yards. Yeah. For making up plans. Other games of note, by the way, BYU at Notre Dame, which you won't watch, because it's not at the same time as Texas A&MLSU. looking in the pack 12

not exactly a robust week although Arizona State UCLA you got two ranked teams playing at UCLA and you got Todd Graham versus Jim Mora which I think our highest I'm not sure exactly what the two

coaches what attribute the two coaches have in common maneuverability They're both Yeah, they're both portable If they're appliances, they're both very portable Jim Moore is a steady washer That you can wheel in and out of your house easily

And Todd Graham is the one that might walk out on its own Now, if I'm Larry Scott And I want to make sure this is the game of the day And this is drawing eyeballs away from Baylor, Oklahoma State I call up both of these universities And I tell these head coaches that, hey, the winner gets the Texas job even though it's not true. Oh, golly.

They don't need to know it's not true. Yeah, they don't need to know that. Just dangle that carrot, that big orange carrot. Yeah, but when they say it's not true, Jim Morrow would say, I don't think that's true. And in his head, he'd go, I don't think that's true. And then Todd Graham's mouth would say, I don't think that's true. And in his brain, he would go,

ooh, boy, howdy. Hook him. His brain's already on Zillow looking up houses. Oh, nine bedrooms. His brain is actually in Austin. He learned how to throw his soul, and he can do it farther and farther over time the more he practices with it.

I've got three games between FBS programs you should not watch. Three. You're forbidden from watching them. That would be Cal Stanford. Only three. Don't watch Cal's O and Eight in conference. One to ten overall.

Going up against an angry, hurt, and scorned Stanford team. Cowell's going to do that throw the ball 55 times bullshit. For 3.2. God. It's their only choice. Their only choice. It's literally all they have. I didn't pick that offense out for him.

Pittsburgh, Syracuse. Don't watch it. Don't. God. That game's poop. Poop that you put in your eyes. Yes. Don't watch it.

And the final game that I command you not to watch at all would be Duke Wake Forest. Because you might watch it for the curiosity of, oh, it's Duke, a good football team that beat Miami last week. And they're going to be playing Wake Forest. Who will be annihilated by this Duke team? Another thing which doesn't feel quite as good to say as Michigan. Michigan gets 10 rushing yards, but that's close. Can I throw in a bonus pick? Illinois at Purdue.

Yeah, you just got Trump. You just threw down Illinois and Purdue. What are you going to do about that? Man, I think you might want to watch that. No, you know. I've seen them both. You don't want to be within the same area code as that. I just want to see what happens.

No, you don't. now here's something to watch for if Purdue goes up say three to nothing certainly they won't go up to seven nothing but if they go up say three to nothing maybe there's a fumbled kickoff or something and then they're able to immediately kick that in for a field goal you're going to see Illinois coaches just clawing and tearing at each other like dropping foes throw on each other yeah it's going to look like a cartoon melee with like cloud of dust and just visors flying out of it

Little ampers sands and number signs floating in the cloud. But not cussing. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's, it's the cloud, the big rumble with, like, I challenge the flying out. Just in Bill Cube, and just Tim Beckman's voice booming over, calm down, quiet down. Don't do this. Oh, God, that's good. And then finally, another game I'd like to highlight.

We're not talking about anything that's happening on Thursday, by the way. It is the Rancas Thursday slate of any Thursday slate this year. I think it's a very good Thursday night of college football. Luckily, there's no NFL game that night. Don't even watch it. Don't even tune in. Just watch Rutgers' UCF. Really good game.

Aren't the Falcons playing on Thursday? Nope. Nope, just watch Rutgers UCF. Atlanta Falcons. Nope. Rutgers UCF is going to be really good. in the entire country. Watch that.

How are the Falcons doing, by the way? UCF is 8-1. Pretty good chance at a BCS game. That's not the Falcons. Played in Bortles. Matt Ryan. He went to Boston College. That's good.

Most everyone's watching UCF. They playing the Falcons on Friday? Because if they are, I got B.C. by two. Finally, you're late games. You're into that kind of thing? We got two 10-30 games. I will tell you and command you to watch Boise State and San Diego State, because all San Diego State does is play insane games.

And all they do is, like, punch you in the face. Not even a punch. It's more like a shoulder charge in the face. They have, like, three running backs are, like, made of cartilage. It's just really hard. Just a big, a big blow. lock of cards. They have one of my favorite unsung running backs, Adam Moemma.

Adam Moemma is nasty. He's one of those like shins and elbows runners, just like trying to tackle this big old rolling ball of, you know, bowling pins. There's not a good angle you can take on him that won't hurt. He's going to elbow or knee you somewhere. He's a lot of fun to watch. And, you know, in between them and Boise State, this actually might be like that entertaining late-night fantasy game that

you've really sort of quested for this season and really sort of not gotten. Yeah, it's been a little lacking at night. Yeah, no, this could actually be, I think, an excellent game. Also, Washington, Oregon State, not as obviously appealing to me

in terms of the dynamics in terms of like both teams playing these sort of insane late games, but Oregon State capable of, capable, uncorking 55 passes and staying right in the game until the very end. they blow it but until then by the way i'm making fun of organ state for that they're not the ones who are three and four in conference that would be washington who washington after soaring to the

heights of the rankings okay and after becoming oh four no on the way beat boise state 386 yeah they lost three in a row and then one against cal and colorado face the first good team they had in UCLA and immediately lost 41-31. It's been it wasn't even that close. No, no, no, no. I mean, I think you can call this year sort of a, I don't want to go

disaster, but it's a really deflating year for Washington. But there's always next year. They're sort of like the Cubs of the Pact 12. That's a baseball thing. Do the Cubs win eight games every year?

They play a hunt. What, 100 games in baseball? They win eight of them? What bowl games? Exactly eight and no more than eight? They're the cornhuskers of the Pac-12. How's that? As up the last five years?

Yeah, no, no, no. Got to lose at least. We'll just say Pallini? You got to lose at least four, right? Yeah, that's not, you know, an untoward or bad comparison. Same peak period, too, right? peaked in the 90s. Little blip there around 2000.

Yeah. All downhill? No. I think you've successfully made a cross-divisional football analogy, Adam Jacoby. Well done. Crowds going wild. Huskers, huskies. Wake up, y'all.

Been right in front of us the whole time. Come on, sheeple. All right, we're ending right there. Luminati.