Shutdown Fullcast - ShutdownFullcast2.10

Episode Date: November 6, 2014

This week's edition is late and for that you get the refund of NOTHING. Topics include: a baffling discussion of Billy Joel and whether he has ever seen a football game, the agony and ecstasy of being a Florida fan processing a shocking win over Georgia, an important discussion of Cash Money vs. No Limit, a look at the very busy week eleven slate, and yet more #talkinboutthenoles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, on this shutdown fullcast tonight, a day late, apologies for that. You can blame me, Spencer Hall, your hosts joining me, people who shouldn't be blamed. Jason Kirk, college football editor of SB Nation. I thought we were hosts, too. You're just not to be blamed. Oh, okay. We're the blameless hosts. You're the blameless hosts.

I am to be blamed because I have. had to go run the jewels. I have some blame, I think. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Well, no. I mean, I have the blame of living in New York City, your favorite town. That's like a town. Although, although we were talking about this the other day. And Spencer, while you are the more vocal about how much you dislike New York City, the truth is, I think Jason dislikes it more than you do. Oh no, he hates it like fire. Like, you just, yours is not posturing exactly, but there is an element of that. But Jason truly in his, the fiber of his being, every cell of his body, hates New York.

Well, you see, my approach is this. I think I hate the glamorization and self-congratulatory cult of New Yorkness more than I actually. Like New York, I have no specific feelings on. You don't see the sun enough. It's expensive, sure, and I don't really understand why you would live like that, but it doesn't offend me. There are cities that offend me, right? New York is not one of them at all. But I think Jason just really loads it.

Well, I think, I mean, we had our college football meetings a few months ago, our off-season meetings. We had them in New York, and that was my call. And that filled my soul with a deep guilt because everyone has. hated it. So I feel like if I blame the city, then it's less my fault. My idea of a great big city is you go, you get in your car and you start to drive somewhere and you don't get anywhere. That's great. But in New York, you know, the way you get places is it's just totally wrong. At no point, do you ever start up a car and then sit in it behind like 8,000 other cars? I mean, you can. I just want to be clear, you can do that in New York. You can do that in New York.

Remember, that's something only the wealthy get to do in New York. Remember that even being rich in New York sucks. You have to pay a handsome price to sit in traffic in New York. I read it. There was a profile of Billy Joel, so of course I read it. Wow. Yeah. We were just talking before it came on about how we're old men now, and then you go and drop a bomb like that.

I know. I keep it fresh with the kids, that New Yorker article about Billy Joel. And Billy Joel now is this dude who just plays the hits and complains about everything and is fat and just smoke cigars. And this is how he makes a living. He leaves via helicopter from his spotted Long Island to go play for a bunch of Long Islanders who drive into New York to watch him. Right? And he makes like a million dollars a night. And then he just flies by helicopter back.

It's like a baffling bird ritual. And then, like, an hour after the show, he's back, fat, drinking some red wine, and smoking a cigar, looking out on Long Island Sound. And I'm like, yeah, what an amazing town. They're like, who do we get a helicopter? Billy Joel, that's who. New York knows how to a lot of resources. This sounds like the exact opposite of the big article today on Migos playing paintball.

He played me, which was so great, because he's like, because they were so into it and furious. Like, I know I saw that splash. I would really enjoy Billy Joel playing paintball. I kind of think he would like it. I think that would kind of be good for him. He's got a lot of anger. He ends every show with, what is it, don't take any shit from anybody. That's a healthy paintball attitude.

Which is a dumb thing for Bill. How much shit has Billy Joel taken in the last? Oh, you have no right here. Get over. Chrissy Brinkley left you. It's fine. If a house gets in the way of your car, don't take any shit from it. Drive right into it.

You can't vote, house. I wrote a song. It was called I hit a house in my car, because that's what it's about. That's more than enough Billy Joel talk, since this ostensibly is a college football podcast. Oh, right. Shut down Billy Joel. Number one, Billy Joel podcast. I wrote a song called a Billy Joel's football podcast.

It was about Billy Joel in football. That's another question. Do you think Billy Joel's ever watched a football game? Yeah. Probably a Giants game. Yeah, a Giants game. That he was paid to perform at. Why not Rutgers?

Is that, is there some... I think it's a little too New York, even for Billy Joel. I mean, because it is New York team. Yeah, that's not even Billy Joel is that big apple. That's true. And I will say, you know, the bottom line, you know, the bottom line in New York is important because it's a town about results. And that's why Rutgers is New York's team,

because you really can't get much more perfect a result than zero points. God, I don't know why you had to compare Rutgers to Zoidberg like that. Loredberg, yeah. Why not Rutgers? Why? There are so many teams you can do that with at this point. But, man, Rutgers putting up the Ofer. That's, whew.

I know people who went to that game. And describe, by the way, the situation in that game. It was not pretty. It was cold and pouring rain. And Gary Nova. And, yeah, that's about it. also you have to like because of where rucker's stadium is and i've been not to brag wow wow look at you borgi VIP it's like it's like a speak easy you have to you have it's one of

those where the whole thrill of it is finding it i know a guy who knows another guy and we are we are the three people who went to the wreckers game you go down this alley the password is shiano man But it is an incredibly cumbersome stadium to get to. So it would be totally understandable to wake up, see that the weather was shit, and just say, nope, not going to do it. But these people went anyway, because they are equal parts passionate and foolish. I'm not impressed, really. I mean, I've seen plenty of people just do that before. That's fine. That's fine.

Yeah. I do admire Rutgers fans, though, because. You can't enjoy, you can't be there just for the victory. Like, that's not. At Rutgers, you definitely can't just be there for the victory. I will point out, though, almost bowl eligible. Jesus. That's, that's like saying you go to Arby's for the Mexican food.

Wait, did they have Mexican food at Arby's? No. They have, yeah, they have cheese sticks. Cheese is Mexican. They have jalapeno poppers. Yeah, see? It's ethnic. If you do go to like real, like, I do like this, though, that if you look at how Maryland

and Rutgers have entered the Big Ten, it's amazing how well both of them have fit in via our extremely prejudicial understanding of the Big Ten. Yeah. Like in totally different ways. Exactly. Yeah, like, whoa, man, what an appalling way to win a football game, Maryland. Like, every Maryland game you've watched, you've watched, You've thought, oh, God, this is just, this is a crime against football.

And there they are, 2019 over Penn State. It's like, it's like they are forced is some sort of Big Ten entrance ritual to each week they have to emulate another Big Ten team. I don't know. I mean, Maryland, this week you're Purdue. You're like, all right, we'll do that. It's like Mortal Kombat backwards. Yeah. The boss is already, he's showing.

Anyway, I lost that one. No, no, no, no. You know, you got a Maryland is the Shao Khan of the Big Ten. Yeah, and he has to adopt all the ninjas and stuff. But, I mean, Maryland, we're talking about the team that played a linebacker, quarterback like two years ago. I mean, we're finally just realizing that they were Big Ten all along. Yeah, no. Because they played this kind of horrible, unwashable game for years. Yeah.

It's as if Maryland now, by crossing the streams, that's combined all of the worst of the 80s. CCC with all of the worst of the Big Ten. And thus they're seven and two. In this they're seven, yeah. They're going to, they're going to go to a bowl game. Could they play themselves in a bowl game? Have we ruled that out? No.

No, they could, could they play Rutgers? Can we have a Big Ten on Big Ten game? Oh my God. That would be great if they just ran out of slots and they're like, why not Rutgers? Oh, the saddest three words. Oh, no, the saddest three words. That's really how the Big Ten expanded in the first place. Is it in Rutgers?

Saddest, no, the saddest three words in football, and also the happiest. Duke football. Seven and one. Seven and one. Seven and one. Seven and one. Go Gators. Go Gators.

Jesus Christ. That's the kind of year. Like, if you're trying to get a handle on this year, I know people say, well, the big powers are just going to come through again. I'm still not real sure about how. the narrative of this year, about how the storyline is going to go, because I just don't think that's going to happen. What I'm hearing is Nebraska Duke Final.

I don't think we're in 19... I don't think this is 1984. I don't think we're looking at like a BYU year, but it could still be very weird. And then Bo Pallini gets fired because he lost a national title to Duke. As he should. As he's, as is right. And then everyone tries to hire David Cutcliffe, and he says, no, thank you. No, thank you.

I'm happy here, and my doctor has advised me that I cannot move. You're thinking about taking that Florida job. It's literally killed people. Thinking about taking that Michigan job. Oh, don't do that. It's for people who are already literally killed. Yeah, it's for people who have tasted the frosty edge of death and enjoyed its taste. I'm just now realizing how much Brady-Hoke sounds like Barney from The Simpsons.

Don't cry for me, I'm already, did. Are we assuming that there's some state like Barney of the Simpsons where Brady Hoke is hyper-intelligent? Yeah, I think so. Like sort of a Flowers for Algernon thing? Yeah, except instead of beer. Remember, because Barney's very smart in the cartoon until he meets Homer and is given a beer and then he turns into like moron drunk Barney

so I just I'm positing that the beer is Michigan the key was fine before he got and then he drank of Michigan pure Michigan in his bloodstream you gave him how much

no you fools where have you been all my life yeah that's and that's why Rich Rod is detoxing now in Arizona Yeah, the dry heat. It'll just open her pores, air it all right out. He's like, oh, my God. Thank God for the vortex pulling all this Michigan out of me.

He's testing negative for pseudoshimbecklerism. I think he's recovering nicely. Which, by the way, hailed to the victors, Brady Hook did win this weekend. He did. That's a thing we should note each time it happens. Undefeated in November of this year. Jason, do you mind if Ryan and I indulge it? a moment of pure, open, emotional conflict on this show? I'll prepare myself for that. Go right ahead. I think you would know why.

And we're not fighting with each other. We're fighting with ourselves together over Florida. That's a tag team match. Yeah. It's some sexy wrestling going on here. This is why Ryan and I, it wouldn't be a tag team match. It would be two wrestlers slapping themselves. Yeah.

That's a fatal. four-way. Okay. Yeah. It's a ladder match, but foxy boxing style. It's an old EC-dub thing. You'll get it. And that would be us discussing the Florida, Georgia game.

It's, it's, all right, so it's Wednesday night. And there have been at least two instances every day since Saturday where I'm just doing something totally unrelated. and I remember the Georgia game and I just laugh out loud in public like a crazy man Yeah I

I was watching it with Doug who is a Georgia fan and he would sit there and yell and go into other rooms and get really angry and I couldn't say anything and then finally the thing that sort of broke it was the fake field goal

and that's when I started open, that's when I started doing crawl space laughing. That was pretty early though. It was pretty early. It was a CBS game, so we're still talking three hours of crawl space laughing. There was a good three hours of crawlspace laughing

because there was nothing, as Bill C pointed out, so savilely, as he does, on SBNation.com to find website. As he pointed out, there was no statistical reason for this to happen. this was a black swan this was a complete anomaly in terms of how this game was supposed to be played there was no non-statistical reason for it to happen like everybody wants to be like oh this florida team just finally decided it wanted to win and wanted to win one for their dear coach well you know

that could have fucking happened i don't know a month ago no no no no Jeff Driscoll was starting That could not have happened a month ago. Don't speak. Don't speak that now. Yeah, there was a news tidbit saying this morning, a morsel out of the Orlando Sentinel saying, well, you know, Driscoll, he's got a role in the wildcat. They've still got him in there. And my stomach just churned, just curdled.

Everything ended at once thinking, no, don't do that. What that is is, that's when you're, have like the oldest employee in the office and you're like oh he's he's terrible at his job at this point but he is two years away from his pension investing so we're gonna yep you are hey you are our business development liaison our vice president of wildcat yeah we're not using the wildcat you're the vice president of it. Wildcat.

Has the Wildcat worked since 2006? Yep. Not for Florida. Nope. For any team. Yep, I know. I can tell you exactly who it worked for. The Oakland Readers. Kentucky against South Carolina.

Yeah. Jojo Camp the 3rd. Well, I mean, outside of the South Carolina defensive exception, because is what doesn't work against South Carolina's defense. Good point. I would think the only time the Wildcats worked is when Kansas State has occasionally used it.

And that's because Bill Snyder invented it. He did. He invented the animal. He invented the animal. He invented the formation. And he occasionally will use it, you know, just to sort of remind him of the Peloponnesian wars. He was like, oh, yeah. I like the idea of Bill Snyder.

overseeing the six days of creation, like on the fourth day or whatever, he created the land animals and Bill Snyder's, well, shoot, God, we still have 18 hours. Let's get the birds knocked out, and then let's get them lined up on the tackling sled. Well, what Bill Snyder would do is he would take a chicken and coach it up to an ostrich.

That's what he'd do. He'd be like, man, you made five chickens. What are you going to do, Bill? Well, I'm going to feed this one, so if we can grow us a tight end. And that's what you've just described as evolution. So we have harmonized Intelligent Design and the Theory of Evolution

all through Bill Snyder. The Grand Unified Theory of Manhattan, Kansas. Yep. Hey, listen, that's the man from Hadleyburg, that's Bill Snyder. He's the original. He's not ever been anywhere. He's not ever been anywhere but here.

He's immortal. We know that. And I bet he has a windbreaker from like the 1909 World Series. it's literally made of wind did they even have wind back then it was very expensive it cost a nickel yeah but Bill Snyder found cheaper ways to make it

the grand architect of our universe as he is anything else we need to mention from the previous week since Ryan and I have now just completely admitted how openly conflicted I think you were by this game because you're like oh let's just get this much champ shit over with oh my god No, I wasn't conflicted.

Is that weird? Like, I'm not, there are a lot of, for some reason there has been this ground swell of discussion of, what does this mean for Will Must Champ's job? What if Will Must Champ gets this team to the SEC championship game? Like, as if he's not Will Must Champ and as if he didn't just win a game where he threw no second half passes. And as if this, like, that was what I. the belt of the time was, oh, well, great, I'm just going to enjoy watching Georgia get completely humiliated. That's always great. I have no problem with that. The thing that I thought

was, oh, this is going to make it complicated. I promise you, because there are more games left, Will Mustamp will find a way to make it uncomplicated real quick. I believe this. I believe this. I believe this against Vanderbilt. I mean, the other, The other thing to say is this, Ron Zook was two and three against Georgia. Yeah, baby. 2002. The Zooker was two and three against Georgia. So, and Mouschamp will still be one and three against them.

He's a champion. He's a winner. That's my favorite thing. There actually were like two or three Gator fans I know, who personally, who are like, hey, see, y'all? You just needed to give him a chance. Okay, sure Just

Just handing Lenny rabbit after rabbit Yeah, no, no, lookie See, you didn't kill that one That one's still That one's still breathing He's a winner Pretty bunny Pretty bunny

Man, a mice and men ends on such a high note now Yeah, Lenny gets the three-year extension Right? Yeah That's it. What were you going to do with that gun? Nothing. Nothing.

Just, you know, there's some Bandito was out here on the Salinas River. It's a present for you. Yeah, look at that. It's already loaded and cocked and everything. Be careful there. There ain't no safety on Florida football. You can go off at any time. I think that's it for as far as week 9 goes, or week 10 goes,

we can we can put week 10 to bed move on a week old. I think that was healthy. Yeah, no, I mean, I feel great. I feel emotionally, I feel a little healthier. You want to go to a little bit of reader mail. Yeah, all right.

I'll start us off. Let's see here. This comes to us from Buster Broncoesque on Twitter. I guess that means this individual is both a cowboy and a lawyer. Cowboy law. Yeah. He's a cloyer.

If there's one thing this country is founded on, it's probably cowboy lawyers. He's a lawboy who owns slaves, I guess. It's Kenny Chesney's new album, Cowboy Law. Cowboy Law, 5 o'clock and a margarita. Yeah, Cowboy Law on the beach. On the beach. Cowboy Maritime Law.

And those jeans. Objection beer. That's the Toby Keith's response album. Exactly, the Toby Keith response album. Injection, Your Honor, fear. The question is, what's the proper course of action when your team's getting disrespected on the Internet? Step one is to voice your concern and then don't stop until you feel the situation's been rectified. Really, you just need to start typing.

Just find... Go ahead, go ahead. It's like a wedding. If you keep silent, it's binding. You have said, you've blessed that disrespect. Yep. Yeah, so what you do is you find everything you can type in, if it's email, if it's Twitter, Facebook.

Oh, God, definitely Facebook. Definitely Facebook. Newspaper comment sections. And you accuse everyone to being bought and paid for by ESPN. That's a good one. It's good. By the way, I would add a little. little sort of clarification of this rule, whatever you do, don't look up the definition of

disrespect. I guarantee you, if you're the kind of person who's big on disrespect as a concept and as a general motivator in life, you're not going to feel respected by the very definition of disrespect. In fact, you'll probably be disrespected. Spencer, who invented the dictionary? The British. And what do they know about disrespect? Receiving it only. Yeah, deservedly. I can't argue. Also, it's a dictionary, written by Dix. So, it's there in the word. That's just part of the etymology. Don't look it up.

Yeah. Yeah, so that's what you do. Just stay away from the dictionary and start typing. Yeah, I think that's good. If you can get a couple of hashtags too, remember, if you're disrespected on the internet, your opinion will always be. It's a force multiplier. It'll be magnified. If you add a couple of rhetorical hashtags like hypocrisy much. It's a good one. Yeah. Hashtag Bitch think he cute. Mm-hmm. Which was

what Aaron Burr undoubtedly said Alexander Hamilton, right? With the hashtag, too, yeah. Yeah. Well, they called it a pound sign back then. Just wrote it in a quill on his arm. Back then it was like a Calvinist cross or something.

Bitch think he cute. Boom. That and I also enjoy E-S-E-C-P-N. That's a good one. Yeah. Do you know why? Because it's clean and it's easy. It's memorable.

There's no way you could confuse it. And, you know, like a Gamergate kind of thing where it gets co-opted by people you don't agree with at all. It's pretty airtight logic that, you know, you'll only associate yourself with the finest rhetorical analysis of our time. I just wish people, like, branched out to other networks and accused them of a S-S-C bias. CBS-S-N-Wack bias. Be like, uh, excuse me, Travel Channel. I don't see you going to East Lansing very much. I think, by the way, this goes into my question, which would be from Ryan Caswell at Ryan Caswell on Twitter.

his backdrop is a Florida State logo and not surprisingly he asked us can you guys hashtag talking about the Knowles please oh hell yeah with applause sir yeah it'd be disrespectful not to I think the stage we need to take this too is you know asking to the Discovery Channel

why they aren't talking about the Knowles yeah I tweeted at Architectural Digest about that a couple weeks ago I have heard nothing damning silence speaks volumes What better architect is there than Jimbo Fisher? I ask you. Not a single one.

Which school stole the idea for an architecture school first and railroaded the state funding there? Well, that'd be the University of Florida. So why do you think AD hadn't written back? All part of the conspiracy. Shame. Route down to G-Town. That's how the conspiracy works.

Architectural digessie C. That's right. Architectural died Jesse Palmer. You just crack the code. Yeah. See the signs. All you got to do is figure out where the hidden SEC is and everything. How come RSTLNE is almost SEC wheel of fortune?

Wow. Yeah, I said it. I'm not afraid to ask these questions. Come at me, say, Jack. You just smoke the turbos of my mind engine. Like, that's, damn, son. So I think we answered that question. That and they're kind of an overrated team with,

an underrated quarterback, and yeah, he is underrated. He's pretty much just bailing the whole team out. Talking about the nose. It may be enough, too. Like, that's how good he is. Like, Jamie Swinson's good enough that might be kind of a, like, half-ass team that can get to the national

title game again. It's entirely possible. Yeah. If he didn't try that throw three interceptions thing against a team better than, you know, like Bobby Petrinos. When's that going to happen? I think we're talking about a really, really good quarterback who at times is also just an average quarterback.

Like, he's had quite a few spurts of really mediocre quarterbacking, but on the whole, you know, still one of the two or three best players in the country. Who said that he was the solution to and cause of all of Florida State's problems? Wow, it really is. That he's basically a self-contained ecosystem like James Winston. just, you know, oh man, there's this terrible thing and wow, the terrible thing just fixed itself. Look at that. That's terrible.

He just likes to tinker. Just likes to take things apart and reverse engineer them and figure out how winds to Louisville are built. It's like the world's most capricious, vicious civilization player. Your citizens are unhappy. I'm closing every temple in your town. Blu-plu-plu-plu. And now I'm reopening them.

Yay. Who's next with our questions? Jason started. I got off. That means Ryan's up. All right. So I did a thing without anybody's permission. I said I promised to read the next question I receive on tonight shut down,

fullback, ready set go. And the question I got was from at 42 proof. And his question is, how big is IT? And IT, of course, is information technology. And it is the biggest. It is changing the world From our libraries To our other libraries

Yeah, I wish we could get John Boyce on here To weigh in on how big IT is Oh my God, if we could have had John Boyce on You know, we could probably patch him in right now But It is Web Tools Wednesday And that means he's on duty He has to be

Somebody has to watch our nation's web A little preview, by the way, of what he's doing For Breaking Madden He's taking Mark Sanchez And he's trying to get Mark Sanchez of the Super Bowl by simulating a season with every single team every year. Like seeing which Mark Sanchez-led team gets the farthest? Right, like, it's almost like the end of Bioshock 3, right?

Where they're like infinite universes. This is just, it's infinite Sanchez's, and they're all playing out seasons. And I think at last check he'd gotten to, and by the time this is up, you'll be able to read it. I think at last check, Mark Sanchez had gotten to 51 seasons, like 51 years, and he still had not gotten to a Super Bowl. He'd gotten to, like, in one year he got to like three conference championship games and lost the ball. But 51 years of Mark Sanchez without a Super Bowl. I believe. I think he can do it.

Come on, Mark. Yeah, come on, video game, Mark. Go read, go read, sbunation.com right now to see if Mark made it. Look at that, man. You got it like 30 minutes into this podcast. And all of a sudden, wow, I got to stop and read something else. Stop listening to this shit. Go watch video games.

Here, I want each of you to predict how many games it takes since by the time this is up, like you said. 74 years. That's what I'm going to say. I have no exclusive inside information, 74 years. I think John will find something else to do. I don't think he'll ever make it. Wow. You see you don't think it's never happening.

I think John will just, you know, speaking of civilization, there is a new civilization game, and John likes those, so. So maybe he'll just name like an alien civilization Sanchez. Mark Sanchez in space. He made it to the moon. You got a technological victory, Sanchez. Way to go.

NASA fake the Mark Sanchez Super Bowl. Let's see. Ryan. Okay, question two comes from Matt Berry at Matt Berry 05. his question is, which coach would make the best archer cameo? And my answer to this question is Terry Bowden. Hey, Terry Bowden is one of the coaches who looks the most like a drawn archer character. He sort of has the soft features and the limited angles that you need.

I'm not saying that he's Pam, but he has some Pam elements, if you will. and I think he also has the appropriate mix of pretending to be successful and important while actually being mostly buffoonish. Also quippy. He's a bowden, so he'll say a lot of stuff. Little quimpy, little twangy. Yeah, yeah. So he would, I think he would probably be kin to Ray in some way.

But I could also see him being the latest, maybe this is Archer's father. no all fine suggestions that's actually like a really accurate and thoughtful answer mine won't be uh i'm just i'm just going to say bret beelima because there needs to be a male pam oh god and he's basically already the male pam in fact i think pam might actually the inspiration for the character might be bret beelma if bret beelma dressed up as pam for Halloween, I would never say another bad thing about him. With the plaid wig!

Especially if he got the tattoo on the back. You know, people would ask, oh, is that Sharpie? They're like, no, that's the destruction of Sinaccarip. He had it tattooed on his back. In fairness, it was already there, and it just went with the costume. I think we can make something of Steve Sarkesian

as kind of an Archer's mom's boyfriend character. Oh, or Definitely, definitely. Wow, I can't say anything else about that without getting libeled. Sued, slandered, some variation of litigation. We'll try again next week. Damn it. I believe that you will get sued before Mark Sanchez makes a Super Bowl.

Well, that goes without saying. That's, no, that's already, that's a done deal. Championship. I'm going to finish up by doing. more work for ESPN. It's all we do. We just make material for ESPN. So go ahead and take it.

Peter Burns. The SEC Network asks, if two SEC teams make the playoffs, does the committee make the faceoff in the semis or on the other side of the bracket? I like the inherent assumption that, well, they're going to meet anyway, so. Of course they're going to win.

Well, you just stole the first part of my answer, which was, well, you can't. can't put them in opposite sides because then you're just going ahead and drawing up in SEC versus SCC title game. Am I right? Can I get an name in? Yeah, come on. Or Eagle. War Eagle.

But, no, I think what they would probably do is they'd probably put them in a knockout. I really think they would. Just to quarantine it. Just to quarantine it. I think they would come up with some kind of horse shit ad hoc off the back of their ass justification for doing that

because they don't want to know. SEC versus SEC final. But here, this is the problem. No matter what they do, the anti, the, everything's in favor of the SEC crowd gets to have something to chew on. Because if you put them together,

it's like, oh, well, look, they're just guaranteeing the SEC, a spot in the championship game, like we all knew. And if they separate them, it's like, well, look at that. They just are doing whatever they can to make that all SEC championship game happen.

don't want to make them knock one out early. Well, remember, the nice part is that if you believe a crazy thing, you're just going to go on believing it. Yeah. I like that, let's see, if two SEC teams get in, at this point it's almost certainly Mississippi State and Auburn. And we can go ahead and assume that Florida State talking about the Noles gets that number one seed so they'd get the Sugar Bowl,

which means the Rose Bowl would be Auburn, Mississippi State, just as tradition is long dictated. Oh, man, that golf course is going to be. ruined so many semi trucks parked on the golf course a month in advance Spencer if we get an Auburn Mississippi State Rose Bowl I'm wanting to know that I am going to it yep you're already approved

just just done best part will be Mississippi State people going out there and commenting derisively on the quality of the fescue of that golf course right there'll be like well this ain't shit what are you what are you people even doing. It will also be Mississippi State people not paying attention and staying two and a half hours away from the Rose Bowl because that's where the cheapest hotel was. It's in Southern California. God damn it! I thought Nevada was closer than this. So we'll stay in Kern County? Yeah,

Kern County. It sounds close. That's close. Look at the map, honey. California is no bigger than Florida. We'll stay in San Diego. There's a zoo. They got seals there. Hey. And seal. the musical artist Just laying out on the beach The other Let's see The other question by the way that Peter asked Which is totally like breaking protocol

Media types Asking cash Asking cash money or no limit And I refuse to choose No Cash money Well we're gonna we're gonna settle this later In the off season when we watch

What do we Is it baller blocking and I got the hookup. Yeah, well, that's our off-season projects. We're just going to go through all of the No Limit movies. And the Cash Money movies. Yeah, because Baller Block and it's definitely

a cash money production. The answer, by the way, is Cash Money. The answer is Cash Money. It's Cash Money. For one thing, they didn't make 18 albums a day. That's a good thing. Actually spent a little, put a little work into each of the things

they made. At least a week and a half. instances. Look, mystical just had a lot to say, all right? Confirmed. Yeah, but it didn't take them long to say it. Nope. All right. It's one

of our, one of humanity's most productive speakers. I really maintain that's where like, you know, the whole Chopped and Scrood movement came from was playing mystical records at half speed in Houston because they're like I didn't get enough of bang for my buck for this album. I'm just going to slow it down. They would actually, on a no

limit album, they'd actually put a sticker on the front. say more songs for your money it's got three CDs in it and it's $12. It's the Cece's pizza of music. Yes Yes. Who do we have? This is literally Master P's P's

pest control man. It's just him yelling over a recycled beat that the 5-04 boys used two years earlier. Yeah, I've been saying this for 20 years. Everyone at my high school got mad when I said these things but I think now the world is ready for these truths.

They're ready for these hot rap takes. Is it possible they got mad because you were yelling them during graduation? No. What the hell else are going to do during graduation? We got any other reader questions? So can we actually move on to this week, which is a pretty nice week? Let's move on. Let's do it.

All right, agreed. Boy, you know, this is a great week. And I, because we have, we've had plenty of, you know, hot Macchin, pretty, mediocre maction throughout the week. Not a real auspicious start to the matchion season. However, there is a fairly nice low boil of a Northern Illinois

Ball Snake game on right now, so I'll bite my tongue for the moment. Let's get past the ACC special on Thursday night, which is Wake Forest hosting selection. Oh, God, that's going to be so mean. If Wake Forest scores, I say we all go streaking or something.

Well, remember, Wake Forest has scored first in all of their games where they've scored they've scored first and then politely seated the rest of the game to the opponent go back and look like they've scored before their opponent every time that they have scored in a game maybe they ought to try something else yeah no they just you know they're like oh i i don't eat anything after 6 p.m. that's the way their offense works how many how many wake forest players can you name well the three i could name all left right i honestly i honestly don't think i can name a single one i'm looking i'm looking now through at at the stats and yeah none of these names are familiar

in the slings no they might as well be video game dummy names you know they're like randomly named team click the are they averaging more than one yard per carry yet uh yes they're averaging 1.11 yards per kid. When last I look, I think it was against FBS opponents only, and they were at like 0.85, so... Hey, listen, if you can get to 9th down, all you need to do is get a 10th down conversion. One yard in a cloud of dust.

I will also stump proudly for the Friday night slate, because I think the Friday night slates actually, you know... Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, Memphis and Temple, a game which two years ago, Actually, probably, let's go one year ago, would have been an eye crime, right? Would have just been the worst thing you could possibly watch. And now it's actually a pretty important game in the American Conference. It is.

And then Utah State at Wyoming. Wyoming, who I suspect on the Jason Kirk Manson football scale, pretty high. This is a bit too far even for me. That's an improving four and five Wyoming, team that runs a countertray. Wyoming, I think their first like five games of the season, they average, like, they put up like a 12 or an 18er,

an 11er, and they were like four and one or something like that. I don't have the numbers in front of me, but they were, they were briefly leading Oregon. That was fun. Yeah, this team, Wyoming will be fun because they do have NDSU's old coach and run a burly countertray option

all, like, nine. Against Utah State's fourth string quarterback just slinging it yeah just slinging it boy let's not watch that at all it does kick off at eight though so it's not like you're going to be up until two watching it if you make that mistake which you probably will uh moving on to saturday jason kirk will catch us your eye on the early shift uh well the noon shift the obvious one is baylor oklahoma which uh it's kind of strange to see that as a nooner or a lelvener central timer yeah goodness like that was coming into the year. We, you know, all thought that would be for sure a primetime game this week, but

life comes at you fast. No, this is, this game, by the way, is the, oh shit, I forgot to put the trash out in the curve game. Oh, right, Baylor's playing with the home. Like, one of these teams is just going to wake up in the middle of the first quarter, like, we're down 21. Oh, God. I don't know which team. I suspect it will probably be Baylor. Yeah, everything, every, you know, the advanced stats, the X's and those people, everything.

things lean in Oklahoma, which when that happens, Oklahoma loses, but No, I kind of think Baylor will probably just like spot 21 real quick before Oklahoma's like, oh man, coffee, sweet, thanks, all right, let's play. Anything else on the early shift besides

Ohio, Minnesota? That's, you know, every noon slate, we sort of keep an eye on what game finishes first. That's probably the strongest bed of the entire year. Minnesota might pass like... Two hours and 45 minutes.

That's probably a new record. Mike Felder celebrates. We get a sub three-hour game where he's like, cool, I can go watch a movie now. Anything else on that early slate, by the way, that catches your eye, Ryan? No, these are all. These are all. I mean, Georgia fans are reflexively worried that they're going to stink against Kentucky, but, come on.

Like, let's pump those breaks a little bit. The Kentucky that made Mississippi State look pretty bad? Yeah. And also, you know, the Kentucky that does all the other things Kentucky does. Yeah. Well, they had that one game. The Kentucky that put up a whopping 10 points against Missouri. I will put a bookmark in the tome of potential lochery on Georgia Tech NC State

just to say that Dave Doran coming off his first ACC win the win streak at one's gonna stop because that's that's it you could just count a counten point though Georgia Tech is ranked and Paul Johnson hates that oh get that number off me that's how the government ID you're not you're not you're not leaving the house fungus on his arm you're not leaving the wearing that team take that take that rankin right off that's how the taxman find you it's funny he's at georgia tech with his hatred of numbers he'll take he'll take that's how the tax man will take your still so he'll take all your guns get that ranking off of you it's a plot uh the three o'clock block by the way the 330 block let let's not skip over the three o'clock block please i just quickly want to point

out Georgia State, Troy, possibly the two worst teams in the country going at it. Dude, are we going to cover this like the Super Bowl? Let's do it. We have attended a Georgia State game this year. We should probably attend this one as well. You're going to go to Troy? No, I mean, we're not going to do that.

No. How would we ever find it? Larry Blatney's farewell tour, which is much like the John Sakata farewell tour whenever John Sakata decides to do it because up to 12 people will pay tickets to watch. It's not going to be good. He's no Rick Springfield.

The 330 block, I would like to just triple down on my guess that Arizona State is just going to hell smash Notre Dame because Notre Dame has to go to Tempe. And also Notre Dame is not very good. And Arizona State's playing pretty well right now. So pretty well, I didn't go over. Pretty well is fine. Whoever wins this is just going to be massively overrated. They beat a number 10 team. That's fine.

That's fine because this. It'll be a good game. I'm just, my face hurts about the team that wins this ending up like number five. I'm actually hopeful the playoff committee looks at this and says, we don't care who wins. You're keeping your exact same spot. That would be fine.

Like, win, loss, you're both nine and ten next week. Remember, preordained to be number 10. Remember, this is whatever. This is why the playoff has ruined nothing, because the primary interest in this is watching Notre Dame lose to a bunch of, like, second-tier state school heels. That's why college football exists. A bunch of dudes who, like, paint their helmets to look like bowling balls. Like, they're losing to, like, the Guy Fieri teams. They are.

You didn't even make it to the boss level. You lost to, like, just the regular dudes in the stage. You lost a fireman. You got beat by donkey sauce, bro. You buy donkey sauce, the Todd Graham story. A bunch of like petticoat clutching civilization, like preserving fearmonger Notre Dame fans, right? Like forever clutching at like, you know, oh, what has become of our world and our of our fine football team, right? They're going to lose to a bunch of dudes and ladies.

To the literal devil. They will lose to the literal devil. They will lose to the devil who flashed the devil who flashed the show. shocker is their sign. Yeah, I wish this game was like an 1130 kickoff and the Arizona State fans are having like a red out and like everyone was just completely tore up. Like a sudden like heat wave just rips through Tempe

and it's like 99. It's like 115 degrees. You're like, holy shit, what did Arizona State get a dragon? It's actually just a weird dog. You're kind of hallucinating. That'll happen. Brian Kelly is just an unreal shade of man purple, right?

You're like, wow, he's positively florid. He looks like a Gila monster out there. Yeah, but instead it's 3.30, so. Yeah, it's a 3.30. It's a 3.30 game, which, which, what? No, me, locally, it's still going to be fairly early. Yeah, it's 1.30 out there. That's true. That'll be 1.30 out there, so pretty, you know, you'll have a pretty good mix of angry hangover and dehydrated.

Who? That gold helmet's going to heat up. fast. Just made for this kind of environment Notre Dame football. It's like the stuff they put on, don't they put gold on, on spaceships and whatnot? Doesn't it block the heat?

Isn't that what it's for? He put on a satellite and all that? Exactly. Yeah, Notre Dame players, just like satellites. Always watching, but only from limited angles. Let's see. Anything else in that 330 block,

by the way, I will skip over, A&M and Auburn. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Gus, Gus got that, Gus coming over with that, you know, tub of kerosy.

You all need to burn some leaves? We get the bottom Big 12 game, Iowa State at Kansas. That's going to be fun. That's cool. Yeah, you get West Virginia at Texas. Michigan might win again. They play at Northwestern.

This is, Michigan Northwestern is annually, like the weirdest game that comes down to total nonsense. I think three years in a row. Last year it was Michigan winning when their kicker did like a baseball slide and then popped up to hit the game winning field goal. Remember that one? Yeah.

So somebody, either Michigan fans or Northwestern fans are going to be really sad about the ending of that one. Yeah. And I mean, sadder than usual. Yeah, that's what I meant. Like above the baseline. Like noticeably sad. Sadder than anyone watching Washington State, Oregon State at four.

Yeah. Damn. Nobody's watching that. Go ahead and prepare yourself Because Mississippi State plays UT Martin Something they surely won't be made fun of No At this point in the season

Well, when you play the out-of-conference schedule They did, I think you earned a break I mean, they did play Like multiple mid-major teams from Alabama If I recall correctly UAB ain't nothing to fuck with Hey listen, Bill Clark's getting it done there, man Five and three

Overall, three and two Why do you think the trustees are trying to shut them down? The insurrection. Probably because Mississippi State beat them so bad, and they're a really good team, and they're great for the SEC's out-of-conference resume. I smell biased. Oh, sorry, sorry.

That is actually fertilizer. Yeah, you know, keeps the lawn green. That's why SECs, you know, that's why we're leading fescue architects in America. I would point to the 630 game and prepare yourself for Florida State's eventual loss to a 4-and-5 UVA team. Talking about those nulls, no reason they should lose. UVA is totally going to beat Florida State. And I'm saying this because I can go back at bookmark it,

like I could get the specific timestamp saying that I predicted it. And if they don't win, which I'm pretty sure FSU is going to smoke them, I can just pretend I didn't say this. See, here's the thing. You could comment on your own sound cloud like, Damn, this beat drop. That's so sick. Take him to church.

Double win wood. My initial reaction is that there's no way Mike London can beat Jimbo Fisher. But it's already happened. Yeah, they have a rivalry Wikipedia page. And Virginia, which means that's kind of a lot of blue on it. That means you have a rivalry if there's a Wikipedia. page. Hey, man. It's official. Wow.

Much like the two-win 31 loss, Maryland Penn State rivalry. My favorite part of that one was Randy Edsela saying after the game, like, hey, we should have a trophy. I hope FSU fans

get on Wikipedia and comment about random articles and are just like, hey, how come this bold and the beautiful article doesn't mention the Knowles? Aren't they bold and beautiful? I'd agree. You're making points, and I'm nodding. Wikipedia does have a thing on the left. You can click on random article. It'll take you to a random article. So I think, get to it, FSU Twitter, FSU Wiki.

Oh, God. What if there's an FSU Wikipedia? Like, you know, like one of those, like, a Minecraft Wikipedia or like Star Trek Wikipedia? Give Ryan and I a minute. We'll get it together. Oh, God. Content. And Kansas State at TCU in the 730 block, a molly wopper of a game. Because I think Kansas State's really going to slow down TCU considerably. Yeah, I'm kind of wondering how good TCU really is. Of course, we kind of always have to wonder how good Kansas State really is because they don't ever look good, but they just win.

Got this House of Cards. Bill Snyder's amazing House of Cards. It's three feet tall. standing called Guinness. What if Goldsiders start in the Netflix program House of Cards? Yeah. Also remember

there is one team that's undefeated in conference here and it ain't TCU. No, that would be 5-0. 5-0, Kansas State whose only losses to Auburn and whose resume is looking substantially better

every single week. I mean, anybody who would pick this game is, don't, just don't do it. Just don't do it. Put the mortgage on Kansas. State, y'all. Do it. No, no, no. I'm full of bad ideas.

That's, yeah, well. Okay. If you lose, it means you don't have to pay your mortgage, so that's good. Listen to Uncle Shaky. We also have in another game that I would not pick with your money, or anyone's money, Alabama at LSU. Which I feel totally confident in saying, yeah, don't, don't touch us with a 10-foot pole.

Nope, not a chance. Night games in Death Valley with an Alabama team that has been spotty at times. The other game of note would be Ohio State, Ohio State, Michigan State which I actually like of all of these games

I want to watch this one most because it's the one that I know least about how it'll turn out. Like I really don't know how these teams are going to match up. A part of me says just based on prior experience that Michigan State is the bigger, bad or meaner team.

Yeah. And Ohio State has yet to do anything against anybody who, like, plays defense. So... They did beat Penn State, thanks to some officiating. But they did beat Penn State, and Penn State's defense is probably better than Michigan States. A rather low-scoring affair, though. Yeah.

Yeah. I think Ohio State can force a shoot out here. Michigan State has the decided advantage of not having Penn State's offense, so I'm just going to throw that out there. Well, to be quite honest, this year, Michigan State is more of an Ohio State than a Penn State. Yeah. Oh, this is getting complicated. Michigan State's probably a little bit better on offense than on defense this year. This isn't the same Spartans team.

You're saying Michigan State is the most Ohio State team in the Big Ten? that's probably Maryland damn it yeah that's Maryland and then the other factor here by the way is that that this is in East Lansing

which for most teams you would say oh well clear home field advantage and yet there's something in me that says no Michigan State at home that can mean anything I want it to mean I think that sort of means there's like an atmosphere of, oh, shit, like settling over the stadium. You know, everyone's turning up, feeling great, and then kickoff comes around, and it's just, oh, God, here it comes. We've seen such things here.

Things men weren't meant to see. Desmond Howard and Kirk Herb Street are going to get some lusty booze on that game day set. I think Desmond will find a way to win the crowd over, though. All right. Your other potentially problematic, nationally speaking, game, would be number four Oregon going on the road to, you know, do a little dance with the must in Salt Lake City, an 8-1 Oregon team, who was going to run face-first into, I don't know,

how do you describe Utah, Jason? Kind of just a wall. I mean, honestly, their defense reminds me a lot of Oregon's offense, in that it's kind of, you know, it's just totally all or nothing. Are they the big play defense? Yeah, they're, I mean, like, they're what people think UCLA is on defense. And, you know, all the offense, fuck offense. Utah is the parking spot that you can't figure out how you got into because you can't get out of it.

Actually, actually, actually, Utah is the anti-Cal. You know, Cal is, every play is either a touchdown or a fumble on offense. Utah every play is either a sack or a touchdown on defense. And then as for defense. And there's not really a lot of touchdowns. I was going to say, and as for defense for Cal and offense for Utah, eh. We'll pick that up on the way to the party.

These are optional. Combine Cal's defense and Utah's offense, you'd have a bad team. Hold on. I probably got some offense in my glove compartment. Yeah, you all have a jack? Did anyone bring a jack? Damn it, no one brought a jack. Who plagues a jack?

Let's end it there. Yeah, why not?