Shutdown Fullcast - ShutdownFullcast2.2

Episode Date: September 10, 2014

The second edition of Shutdown Fullcast covers why Ryan is hanging out with the snake mayor of Rapid City, SD; why Outkast guarantees victory for your football team; and how everyone in college football this week goes over to their friend's dirty house just to be polite. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So where exactly are you, Ryan Nanny, right now? I am in a hotel room in Rapid City, South Dakota. One of our nation's top three Dakotas. And exactly, no, you have to refine this. Okay, I'm sorry. Where are you in Rapid City? I am in the Howard Johnson, which is perplexingly across from a high school. in Rapid City, South Dakota.

So you could actually have that sad life where you get divorced, live at the Howard Johnson, and teach at the high school. I mean, I could. I'm not aiming for it. You're thinking about it, aren't you? I'm not ruling anything out. That's the beauty of life. I'm open to any possibility.

Hell, I'm thinking about it. 1750 an hour without benefits. That'll go a long way here. in Rapid City, South Dakota. Yeah. Now, I don't want to completely let the cat out of the bag, but you are there for a purpose, right? Yes, yeah, I am here for a football purpose, and that's all we're going to say about that. Am I finding the next Dallas Cowboys head coach? I don't know, maybe.

Probably. Most likely. Give me a couple of drinks. Little Jerry Jones, you can make this happen. I want you all to know that, yes, he did tweet me a picture today of a sign in the airport parking lot that says the following. As the weather gets warmer, we would like to remind you that snakes warm themselves on the concrete and can occasionally be found in the airport parking lots. Notify airport staff immediately if a snake is present. This is all the normal lettering. And then there's a big bold. Please take caution with children and when walking around your

vehicles. And below it is the most cheerful, adorable clip art shot of a rattlesnake with its rattle going clearly I like it I like it because the implication is not look we know there's a snake problem and we're doing something about it it's like hey you know we're kind of

the snakes sort of run this town and we just have to be careful not to piss them off y'all look out for that now sounds like that that movie Rango y'all ever see that one where Johnny Depp is a gecko or

something and the snake runs everything that's wow you're in rango right now right that's awesome it doesn't feel that awesome i gotta be honest it's not it's not the uh it's not the easiest place you've ever been well i just i think i made a bad choice because i decided to have thah for dinner and you just decided to have vietnamese and south dakota yeah you deserve every bit of damnation you're about to endure well now are south dakota and North Dakota sort of at odds like the place where that food comes from? I think so. It's been previously.

Yeah. Well, we're going to transition from that to let's talk about me a little because I went to Oregon. Fabulous Eugene Oregon for... Ooh, you're fancy. You get to go to real places.

Eugene is a real place. It's got all these little Simpsons Easter eggs. Like the Jebediah Springfield statue is based on the Pioneer statue in the middle of the University of Oregon campus and it's beautiful and I walked through the lobby where they did the horse, the dead horse scene from Animal House and then hung out with the duck because, you know, when other people go to write, they write this big feature story on Oregon, Michigan State. I decided to hang out with a six foot

tall duck. So I enjoyed it greatly. You should know this about the Pac-12. That's actually a real stadium. Like, that's actually, it's loud as hell. Yeah, that's what they say. And they play outcast there on demand, from what I understand. It took them a while because the DJ, and Oregon does have a DJ,

was sitting there live mixing. Because I thought, like, it was like, oh, sounds like somebody live mixing. So I went a couple of doors down in the booth, because I'm a media professional, and went and found the DJ. DJ Gemini. what's up and asked him of course because as is my duty as an atlant i have to ask every dj

to play outcast yeah yeah you found this to be true jason right you just spread in the good word yeah so i was like just play some outcast and goes all right i'll try to get that in for you and it took forever this was like pregame i didn't get any outcast so oregon gets their butt kick in the first half and they're down like 2718 at the half and it looks bad and then they play I like the way you move and Oregon reels off a 28 to 3 run are the powers that be at Oregon aware of this

you know direct relationship between football success and the music of outcast they've been made aware and I for their sec I hope they listen because if they just managed to just if they just played AT aliens

in its entirety throughout the game it would have been a 70 point blowout. That would just be unfair. I have absolute faith in this. Where have you been, Jason? Well, today I went on a nice run. But as far as leaving the state of Georgia,

which I prefer not to do, I did do it a few times this summer. I went on three work trips. They were all work trips. Family went to the lake and stuff, but I'm less a proponent of going places that are not where I already am than other people are, so. You should be Florida's athletic director.

Yeah, that's my whole, my whole life philosophy is, I just welcome, I just welcome FCS opponents to my house. I'm just going to have, I'm just going to have Eastern Michigan over for dinner. Yeah, I just dial up, CUSA school. Come on over. I'm not going anywhere. That's right. Memphis is going to steal some silverware, but it's worth it.

Oh, speaking of who almost stole whose silverware in the Rose Bowl, Memphis, coming within a game-winning drive of tying UCLA at the buzzer and beating them

because I suspect UCLA might be an inconsistent football team. Jim Mora? An inconsistent football team? Would UCLA and Washington swap coaches right now? Would it make a difference? Yeah.

I mean, they were... Okay, I don't know that it would, but would it make them each happier? I don't think so, because Jim Moore going to Washington, I mean, he takes a little getting used to it. Peterson's just the same wherever he is, right? But it's his dream job, Spencer? He said so. Well, he was the coach of the Falcons.

He did say that. He did. Oh, by the way, here, seven minutes into this podcast, We should tell you what you're listening to. This is the shutdown forecast. This is all things considered. All things considered. I'm Davali side.

I'm Davali side kowtow. I am Spencer Hall, editorial director of SB Nation and EDSVS person. Joining us from the Howard Johnson in beautiful Rapid City, South Dakota. It's Ryan Nanny. I like that.

guys be because we know there's only one I have to say I haven't verified that but I'm willing to put money on it the top Howard Johnson in Hall of Talking Rock South Dakota or wherever you are I'll have you know Rapid City is both the gateway to the Black Hills

and the city of presidents it's true wow ask is there a single president from there no President Howard Johnson President Rapid Yeah you know it's a great place Because Custer had a lot to do with the founding

And also Jason Kirk NCAA football editor At SB Nation And agoraphob Yeah Yeah I bet I can get you down here though Because this is a weekend

I bet we can get you into Atlanta because this is a weekend where the ill-advised road trip, aka the time when home and homes come to roost, aka the play date where you decide to go over to the poor kids' house out of courtesy, that's this week in college football. Some of the strangest imaginable road trips are happening this week.

And that might be the only truly interesting thing about the week that will be in college football, no? Until something stupid happens. Like, one of these games is going to have something stupid happen, but because we have no idea which one it is, it is the poor kid play date that is the interesting part. You're right. Yeah, just to give you an example of those.

On the schedule, actual games that will happen, and they start as early as, they start as early as Friday. Baylor at Buffalo, a stadium that our own Peter Berks has described as, being like a second grade stadium in Belgrade. Now here's a fun fact. Buffalo is having a blackout for that game. The fans and the players are all wearing black, and they're tweeting stuff like,

did you like seeing the Buffalo Bills get a big win? Well, here comes another one. To which the response is, yeah, there'll be a big win. Someone in that stadium will get a big win. So Buffalo is currently 113th in the country at points allowed. And they play Duquesne and Army. Ooh. So.

Your cane's got a hell of an offense, right. You're right. Once they swing it out and start shooting them threes, they really make it rain. No, but like there's a possibility we'll breach. 80 points here, right? 90 points? Keep in mind in case you think

Bryce Petty is not about that. Bryce Petty has two broken transfers processes in his back and we'll be playing in this extremely important game against Buffalo. Yeah, he hates Bulls.

He hates him. He hates him as only a Texan can. A bull took my daddy's job. That bull undermined my mother's acting career. So for some reason, I love Art Bryles. I have no idea why he's letting Bryce Petty play in this otherwise meaningless game in The Bullpen, which is the nickname for the stadium, which is surrounded by, oh, an eight-lane track. It's multipurpose.

So the nickname for the Buffalo Football Stadium is a baseball term. Correct. sweet yeah the nickname for y'all stadium is a pile of mud yeah excuse me sir you mean a diverse and beautiful ecosystem whose beauty escapes your plebeian eyes no no you don't call it the wetlands sir it's also it's also not a nickname it's a geological disclosure yeah that's true it's for it's for insurance purposes really be aware it's like we you can't sue us when you get caught in it Exactly. If the whole thing sinks and kills 70,000 people at once,

liability is liability. We told you it was a swamp. Otherwise, on the schedule. Now, here's a good one. Nebraska is traveling to Fresno. Oh. Which means hordes of Midwesterners descending on the middle of California,

which has a rich and vibrant gang culture. some would say uh fitids it'll be a lot of fitids and that's a that's a late game too so like are nebraskans in nebraska going to be awake to see this well

I don't know because Nebraska barely beat McNeese State last week yeah I'm going to go out on a limb and just suggest that Fresno State might be better than McNee State and Nebraska will have to play them in Fresno in the dark of night in the part of California that smells

like manure and burning tires well I should be used to that part it smells like home you take a little bit with you wherever you go why does it feel like Christmas here the best tweet of the year this far for me has been Bo Pallini

on September 4th fake Bo Pallini tweeting out stop saying it's Bo Pallini Day on 9 stop saying that and then all of his responses are just people saying it's popolini day it's popolini day it's popolini day

another bizarre bizarre game in terms of how did this ever get scheduled why is it being played and how on earth that anyone ever agree to this Mississippi State at South Alabama

Wait, what? Well, Dan Mullen gets to beat a team from Alabama. Oh, it's true, though. Hypothetically, that's a tough game. Oh, he'll take it. South Alabama, of course, in beautiful Mobile. Maybe it's sort of trying to level up, like beat them, then beat Troy, get a little bit closer.

Yeah, just get a little Alabama on you, and then see if you can work your way up to. to develop a tolerance to Alabama. It is a poison. You don't just put a little Alabama in your system all at once. Because remember, if you're too full of Alabama, you'll do all kinds of crazy things. Yeah, you'll just tear off down the field when you're not eligible at all. Tackle someone.

It's a medical condition, dang it. This is a Mississippi State team that had real trouble with UAB last week. Who, by the way, UAB might not be bad. We'll never, we'll never know. Once the legislature finds out about it, they will be. Can't have no competition for Bama. Sorry. Y'all going to have to play in Cuff.

Who put all these ball bearings on the football field, legislature? Roll tide. Said you got to play on. War Eagle. I don't see any ball bearings. I did see a little hail in the forecast, though. I don't know of any connection between those two. If you excuse me, I need to go list.

to the Tide broadcast. Who called in a bomb thread in the third quarter of a game when UAB was leading Alabama 1710? That's just thunder. Funny how that happens. Got to evacuate stadium, cancel the game for safety. Hey, world's crazy with the events

going on. I do hope UAB improves enough to develop the most psychotic, insecure, and persecuted fans on the planet. Like, there's going to be like 12 UAB fans who are convinced it, like, everyone's against us! And the best part is they'll kind of be right.

Yeah, they're totally right. The state is undermining their every step. So I would watch that because it'll probably be ugly and worse than imagined as far as your average Mississippi State University of South Alabama game. Another example of this, Pitt. Pit goes to Florida International. That has to be just like a recruitment.

thing that they planned on, right? Well, I think that's the kind of thing where you purchase your airline ticket, but you accidentally get it for like the wrong day, which I could see that happening, but maybe like clicking the wrong airport, you wanted to go to Florida State? Do you think FIU is paying Pitt for that game? Do you think anyone is paying anything for that game?

It's being broadcast on Fox Sports One. Do you think they paid for those rights? Is it, is this like public domain? we should podcast this game This is a public access football game And there's some sort of earnest PBS type With a huge mic with a giant foam cover on it, right? It's just being played in a food court

In Paul Chris' contract It's probably like he gets a certain bonus For X number of wins And then there's a excluding FIU In order to In order to fulfill some sort of educational requirement For a PBS broadcast there's somebody teaching you

how to make a cabinet in the lower left corner like we'll watch the football game and down here Jed's going to be building a beautiful colonial cabinet take it away Jed just making it in there

as they play the game and announce over it well at least it's not Florida at Pittsburgh International oh man we'd probably lose that game too yeah we'd fight hard we would

it's big enough it's big enough it's being to fighting hard and losing boy the longest road trip or one of the longest road trips and the weirdest road trips a game that when you put it together really nullifies any desire to uh call college football a professional league in any sense boise state at yukon y'all forgot about that one right yeah this is like the this is like the what if big east i have i have a worse one by the way this seems really bad I have a worse one.

All right. Well, let's get right to that then. Yeah. Syracuse at Central Michigan. No, that's going to be good. The chips coming off that fresh ass beating of the Purdue Boilermakers. That's going to be fun. Syracuse is going to get that ass whooped.

Wow. If you go to Central Michigan, because remember Syracuse, barely scraping by Villadova. I am against Syracuse all year because of that damn game. This happens every year Week 1 There's some team That wins a stupid game And I hate them all year

Two years ago It was Minnesota Because they beat UNLV In triple overtime And this year it's Syracuse I hate you Syracuse Wow I'm gonna jump on that

I hate Syracuse too For different reasons Because Scott Schaefer was Tweeting about how soft-nosed Atlanta was in the blizzard And I'm like Holy we get to call us dysfunctional the week Not you

Dude who plays at a dome And you do, for the record. You don't hold back on that. No, no, no, no. He's an awful man. I hope he loses every game. So, Scott Schaefer, you're on the blacklist,

and I hope Central Michigan whips your ass. Fire up chips. Also in Superior Football Program, traveling to inferior football program, we have Georgia Southern traveling to Georgia Tech, where the report from the AJC tonight is that Tech is actually expecting to fill it stadium due to the incoming Sun Belt opponent,

which, to be quite honest, probably does have more football fans than the home team. Hey, listen, Georgia Southern, too, if they're coming to Atlanta, you know where they're going? I got a plan, Larry. We're going to get the expedition. We're going to IKEA. We're going to fill that thing up.

We're going to go to the Whole Foods, and I'm going to buy them fancy jellies. I'm going to go to, they got that nice craft store up on 285. We're going to get a chair. I mean, Georgia Southern, fans are going to look like Oakey's driving into the parking a lot, not because they're rural bumpkins, but because they got to get all the big chain stores all in and one big bite, because

they're like, they don't have this in Savannah. That would be a good, I think that should be how Georgia Tech approaches all of its home games. Like, pitch it to the visiting fans as Georgia Tech, make a day of it. Georgia Tech, we're close to IKEA. Like, literally, that's, we're close. You know, you can buy a bed for $17. Georgia Tech You'll have time

I think if you just build it in And you just build up gift certificates To places that were within two miles Of Georgia Tech That you would want to go You know the real brilliant move would be You know how when you go in IKEA You can't just go directly to what you want to go to

You have to wind through the whole thing Like a maze Which is kind of like walking around Georgia Tech Stadium They should just make Georgia Tech Stadium They should just make Georgia Tech Stadium the middle of an IKEA. So you're like, all right, we've, I think this is the kitchen curve we want. Now we've got to look at, oh, wait, wait a second, Georgia Tech football. We've got to watch this before we can move on to bedding.

And just pipe all the cinnamon bun smell into the stadium so people stick around. Telling you, you want to up the attendant, just get that cinnamon bun racket going. You're like, man, I can't leave this game. It smells too good. Paul Johnson's sleeping in one of those demo rooms. Paul Johnson's eating Alan Runches out of a bag. Yeah, I'll live in that 635 square foot demo room.

I don't need more than that. Delicious 99 cent Alan Ranges stuff. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to live in off that herring paste they sell downstairs. I don't care. Is there a football scheme that is more IKEA than the flex bone?

Like, it just sort of slap together. It's a football team put together with wooden pegs. Like, it's a, it's, it's, it's, uh, it's, uh, it sounds good. It's got a funny name. It's, um, but if you, if you lean on it, it's, it's good when you're starting out. It's deceptive. You know, if you, uh, it's made a Ukrainian, uh, particle board, and, uh, you slap it together. And if you get somebody who weighs more than 250 pounds going up against it, you're done. And you can never sell it to anyone else. Nope. Nope. Nope. This is it.

Nobody will buy a second half. hand flex bone. And you can't get rid of it either. You put Paul. You put Paul. You put Paul Johnson out in the curb. Guess what? He's just going to sit there.

He's just going to sit there. He'll just get wet. Hello. Solid. Listen, solid waist pickup and bulk won't even touch him. They're like, whatever. I'm just here on the sidewalk. Free to go to home.

Getting tan. Getting tan. Ask me a question. I'm not going to answer it. Could use a few more Ellen wrenches? and other legendary rivalries in this otherwise crap heap of a week this is going to be an appalling game I know it's an existing rivalry but if you want to see

the devolution of football as we know it tune in to the splatterhouse horror film that will be Iowa State at Iowa Oh boy The Sciahawk trophy Oh this is always a wretched This game is so bad it has its own grandeur it really does

it's it's like watching a sword fight that ends because one person stabs himself worse than the other person stabs himself or gets winded and has it like an embolism oh god the pain the other person's too winded to stab them while they're grabbing their head can we not can we talk about literally any other game I want to say I'm so proud of Iowa because last week they were down I think they were down 133 and that gave it a ball

State and Farrantz punted from something like I don't know. He punted from like the Ball State 5. Farrant up. Yeah. It was the most Farrant's move because all of Iowa Twitter immediately broke out with and I thought

no, they're winning now. If Kirk Farrant punts and they're down 10 with like seven minutes left, it's already over. He has you right where he wants you. The finishing move. They won 1713. Punts just make him strong. Lager. Wake Forest gets to go to Utah State.

Good God. And you know what? That feels merciful. Because you shouldn't have Utah State over to Wake Forest because why should why should your home fans have to watch that? So in the name of Mercy, Wake Forest should play 12 road games then. Potentially, yeah. I mean, unless they can get Gardner Webb for 10 home games. Just to travel in a road?

show. Yeah. What are you using the stadium for? Gardening. Gardening mostly. Yeah. Well, we got a home show coming in. It's going to be big.

Let's conclude the trash portion by mentioning a few of the other bizarre travel logs that are going to be written this week between some of the strangest games imaginable. Navy will play at Texas State. Sure.

Why not? Yeah, Texas State. the fightin denis franchone says somebody who can put those words together without cringing in addition to that we have another bizarre match-up in UCF going to Missouri which screams trouble to me I don't know why probably because UCF is just a thorny nasty mean-ass team now Missou is capable of some really weird scheduling. They were at Toledo last week.

They were at UCF last year. I don't know when these guys are going to sort of understand how SEC scheduling is done, but it hasn't quite clicked yet. Well, everything's far from Missouri. So they have no concept of like staying close. Yeah, that's true. They only have so many options out there. Out there near where you are, Ryan.

How many times? Ryan's practically right down. the road in South Dakota. I will play Missou tomorrow night if they show up here. Oh, and a game that could be one of the most shambolic things

you will see on a Saturday of shambles, Illinois at Washington, one team that has no defense and another team that has nothing facing each other. Team that has no team. By the way, a 2-0 Illinois team.

I like that because the Illinois Athletics account has put a couple of, like, images together after each win that are just like, Elinai win and leave out any other detail. Like, it doesn't tell you who they played. It doesn't tell you what the score was. It doesn't even tell you the date. My favorite thing they've done is, I think it was last year they beat Southern Illinois, it might have been, the Salukis. They beat the Salukis. And they put out, like, state champs or something. They also.

They beat them by, like, eight points. They will also post things like, like, oh, the running back rips off a massive run like a bowling ball. And then there won't be a tweet for another 30 minutes. So you'll be like, whoa, man, Illinois is kicking some ass. And then there's silence. They should just, they should just be like, uh-oh, had to reset my router. All as well. The way it looks is like, you know, it's like if some totalitarian propaganda thing,

It's like, we've started the nuclear reactor initiation sequence. And then there's no news for like weeks. You're like, oh, they had an accident. Illinois footballs melted down. Moving to games that might actually kind of sort of matter a little bit. You said games plural. Moving to a game that might happen. we really only have a few

South Carolina at Georgia in one of in a game or Georgia at South Carolina the 3.30 game on CVS am I correct

in assuming that this game is completely unpredictable only a fool would dare to predict this game so let's do it yeah I got dogs I got dogs

I got them dogs you know this is the game this is the game by the way where like georgia really starts to like get their hope shattered right this is the game this is the game where suddenly like whatever fatal flaw there is spurier digs it out even in a win like even if georgia wins this is where spurious the one thing that they definitely can't do right i think this is the one game spurier preps for like all week he's like no i'm not i'm not gonna go to i'm only going to go the range twice? I'm going to get up at 8.30 every day.

We're going to be end up. Except Friday, because that's my day off. Maybe he obsesses over this game like all off season. Maybe he doesn't actually golf. He spends all his time. Maybe he is really a Nick Saban type. It's just all focused on Georgia. so yeah

Eastern Carolina whatever y'all take care of that what do you want to throw the ball and run the ball that's fine yeah do that you're gonna go out there and somebody whoever wins this game

is going to win it scoring like 19 points and the losers are going to have 13 that's every year of this game yeah and with with errors oh my God the most error prone turnover ridden

incompetence a shot game you will ever see in your life especially because I think this is the game where maybe Hunter Mason has to effort Do things? Has to do things and that could get very funny

because I really do want to see the like Shock and a horror if Georgia fans start to get the notion of like Oh my God, it's Joe Cox Another thing we have to look forward to is pretty much no matter what happens We get Spurger saying well We're the state champs of playing Georgia

Because they can't possibly lose by more than 25 We think that And South Carolina Has looked very bad Like they've not looked like They've not looked like a team That has any hope Of winning the East

Which again, I think you're right I think that's all part of the plan At this point Yeah Like yep you know what First two games Gonna put it on them Make them think we're awful

Let him get a bunch of yards Hell Mark Rick liked his team a little bit Couldn't even beat a team that barely beat ECU. I'm telling you. You know, we go with that Texas A&M. You know, they can practice on us. That's fine.

That's fine. We, you know, we don't care about that game. That ain't even a conference game. Steve, it's a conference game. Oh, shit. Well. That's your opinion. We, we get a, what, just a great disagree.

Well, we'll have to do. Leave whatever you want. It's America. Other games of some note? No, that's it. That's it. I promise you, that's it. Well, let's, we can make up.

Tennessee is going to get, it's, uh, get his dick stepped on at Oklahoma. Uh, Texas is, and UCLA are, that, that'll be hilarious. It's not going to be important,

but it'll be a screaming, hilarious, absolute mess of a game. Texas is playing UCLA. Dude, dude, go back to Tennessee. Bob Stoops with the chance in his like,

you know, what I've called the Andrew Jell ears for Bob Stub. all that testosterone replacement therapy just... It's just been building up. It's all that S-E-R-E-C. He gets a mediocre SEC team at home, on ABC.

It gets a mediocre SEC team. It's probably like once the wall start kind of wobbling a little bit, the whole structure is cave again, right? Like, that's what's going to happen. And Bob Stoops is not going to let up until he has put the accelerator down and driven over to the...

see like 400 times. I think Stubbs is going to go for a thousand. One of those games where the Sooner's Schooner just stopped celebrating touchdowns. Like when they... Three broken axles, it can't go anymore. We're like a couple of years ago when they beat Chattanooga. They beat UT Chattanooga of like 82

to zero or something. Schooner's out of gas. The schooner just didn't go out for the last two TDs. Like, ah, screw it. We're tired. Horses are winded. Horses are dead. Look what you Look what you made me too, Tennessee. You killed Buttercup.

You killed Buttercup. Well, technically speaking, you killed Buttercup. Why didn't you stop me? It's like Edie, I'm in, and the king of Scotland. It's just been crabbing them. That could be entertaining. Actually, it was the most entertaining, though, in terms of potential satisfaction,

I want to ask, like, which one of these games has the most potential satisfaction, if there's an upset. That's really what we're looking for here. Out of all of them? Yeah. And for me, by the way, it's Tennessee.

If Tennessee just turns, heel, refuses to take the pin, goes against K-Fabe, right? Just does a no-sell, right? Like, oh! Comes off the mat and beats Oklahoma. That, to me, would be the funniest result

because I really want to see that vein on Bob Stoop's forehead just swell to three times at size of somehow Tennessee manages to beat the Normant, which, by the way, I'm just going to tell you 3% chance of that happening. Maybe 4. A solid thing. I'm going to pick the Boston College USC game.

Yeah, because I'm just that fucked up. Rapid City's got to you. You got the Black Hills Madness. I in no way predict it would happen. But if for some reason, Steve Adazio and the boys duded the hell up and beat a USC team that finally people were starting to feel positive about and just totally deflated

all of that positive energy right away that would make me laugh in a very evil and meaningful way that's a rich choice now if BC were to beat USC what kind of final score do you picture low quite low yeah like a

9-7 like a 12 5 12.5. I'm going to go a little bit lower. I'm going to price this right here. Easy, easy. No, no, I'm giving you. I'm giving you 9.7. I have a choice. Toledo, winning at Cincinnati, which would make Cincinnati 0 in 1 in week three. This is Cincinnati's first game of the season. That would be pretty funny to me. Tommy Tuberville's a little older. He needs a little wind-up.

Was he just wait? Was he just like, you know what? Let's put the bye weeks early. A better offer might come in. Yeah, that's sort of the theory. You never know. SMU might need a new head coach in week three. Hey, what do you know?

Dastardly, isn't it? Just waiting around. Hang him by the phone. I'll coach the Oakland Raiders. Yeah, if they call. Who says they won't? Houston Nuts just got his phone tapped. like calling them.

Got Tuberville's... Oh, Tumberville's got... Old Houston's going to jump in. Calling all these guys. Let's go to Reader Mail to close the show. In what is a lackluster week, we can find, I think, some light and humor,

courtesy of our readers. I'm going to answer the question that everyone's asking in Dade County and beyond from the 305. The question is, Al Golden Question mark

That's it That's the whole question No From Hurricane Stiz On Twitter Al Golden The answer is no No

Al's Al's not long For Miami I predict I'm gonna say Bipedal No I think that's way off

no man al al would prefer to go around like a gorilla yeah al al golden doesn't actually have bones he's just one big gelatinous shape and that's why he has to wear the same clothes all the time so that they can contain him are you sure that those are clothes

could that just could he be naked and that's what his body looks like is he like the is he like the upcoming movie big hero where he's just this kind of balloon that they have to fit into like superhero body armor and is largely ineffective yeah yeah okay i could go for that all of this all of this stands up uh ryan do you have a reader question yeah i've changed it from what i told you it was going to be uh this this question comes from lay fake our our friendly uh our friendly tampa colleague

chucky crater uh he wants to know now that june jones resigned which college football coach gives the least number of fucks. And I'm going to turn this over to you guys to start. I have thoughts, but you know, this is a panel show. I'll let Jason go first. Wow. Okay. The least number of fucks. The fewest.

Yeah, the fewest would be correct there. Hmm. Hmm. If anyone else has an answer, go ahead. Just period. We're talking the coach that just gives the least amount of bucks, right? I think it's Norm Chow. Just in general, right?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's Paul Johnson. Paul Johnson at Georgia Tech. Does not care. They could fire him tomorrow and force him like Clint Eastwood and branded to take all of his clothes off

and walk right naked under North Avenue. And he'd say, I've done this before. I don't care. I've been here. The situation's happen he does not care at all now i'm probably going to go charlie weiss on this one um we know he's rich we know he's still being paid by notre dame if he is fired he will continue being paid by kansas today uh somebody asked him about uh what is his reaction the players complaining about the crowds at kansas and he said well the players should probably just be

quiet something to that effect Oh, that's a good pick. That's a super pick. Yeah. And you say Norm, you say Norm Chow, right? I think Norm Chow, but actually, I want to change that answer to Ron Turner. How would we know? How would we know?

We have no way of verifying. No, that's exactly how few fucks he gives, because what other coach in FBS would tell? Tell, it would be part of a program that says, like, nah, you should just stay home, guys. Just don't cover us. You know what? It's better for everyone if we don't credential anyone. I'm going to make my son an offensive coordinator.

Well, where'd you learn a bullshit tactic like that? The NFL? I'm going to make my cat, special teams coordinator. Worked for the Jets for years. Jason, your question. This comes to us from Justin Ferguson on Twitter. J. Ferguson, A.U. Which SEC head coach is the most likely to buy

that new Apple Smartwatch? I'm going to go with Bert. I think he sees a thing like that and thinks, oh, chicks will be into that. Kind of likes the idea of his wrist talking to him. He would definitely pretend to be Knight Rider all the time with that.

Yeah, making a lot of noises. Kit, can pour me another G&T. Watch this, my wrist can fart. It's just so sick I'm watching Foo Fighters videos on my wrist while I'm driving. How did Burt putt get into a three-car pile-up?

That damn Apple phone. I was watching that turned down for one video on my wrist. It's awesome when that girl's boobs started moving. I think the SEC coach who would have the Apple phone first would probably be... I'm torn.

I wanted to say, Butch Jones, because we discussed this in pregame, because Butch would think it would help with recruiting. But I will audible and suggest that Gus Malzon would do it just because he thinks it would be faster than answering his phone. It's like, I can just go to my wrist. Right here. The phone's in my pocket. He does seem like the SEC head coach most likely to become a transhumanist to sort of incorporate cyborg qualities into himself. This body's just a start. I can keep going. I can things. Look, on my wrist right here.

Yep. Gus Mazan is going to live to be like 380 years old just by adopting technologies. How'd you live so long? Live fast. Broke the rules of time. That doesn't make any sense. If you're going faster, you were taking up more time. No, no, no.

Anything about it. Just keep living. Theory, theory relativity. Close. You get the speed of light, slower time goes. Beat Alabama 600 times than 300 years. If you run 80 plays, you actually run 60 relative time. Wow. Yeah. Einstein was right That's really

That's the lesson of the Hurry up wing team offense You get to the end You're like Einstein was right You know who the last SEC coach to get the Apple phone Will be though Puncho

Yeah Yeah You're right is puncho Why am I talking into my hand You all think he even has a smart phone Let alone smart watch Can I get one of them dumb phones Does he even have a phone

well must champ doesn't have a phone he has a guy he yells at who's wearing an earpiece right and wearing a microphone like let me yell at telephone like that's the guy's name it's probably like his real name is eric but he has a name tag that says and like hastily scrolled crayon telephone written by will muscham written by will muscham who slapped it under the man's chest he just has a he just has a bunch of pigeons and cages and he yells at him just starts patting his head Fierce. Take this message to Jeremy Foley. I love you, Dad.

Go. Hang up, telephone. When the phone starts beeping, he just hands it to him. He's like, no, you say beep. Telephone goes beep. I really don't think Wilmuthia's that stupid.

You don't think he's that stupid? I can't say any of this without laughing. I mean, I would agree to you. I would agree he's probably not that stupid. Oh, God, if we lose to Kentucky. These are jokes we're doing here. Literally hiring a man named Telephone. We're going to.

I wouldn't rule it out. He went to Georgia. All bets are off at that point. Fire puncho. Telephones are sin Talk to my pastor Telephone Telephone to El Pastor

Now Had an impure thought I thought about scoring Got to 21 and I wanted more Forgive me Vince Dilling And he does not And we end there Forgive me.