Shutdown Fullcast - ShutdownFullcast2.3

Episode Date: September 17, 2014

This week's Shutdown Fullcast examines the most and least self-aware fanbases in college football, and slanders most of them. We also discuss Week Four's games. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome, everybody. This is the Shutdown Fullcast. I am Spencer Hall, editor of SB, editorial director of SB Nation, and editor of Every Day should be Saturday. Joining us on this fine college football podcast from beautiful Kennesaw, Georgia, is Jason Kurt. That's me. That's him.

We can hear you. It's a college football editor at SB Nation. and from beautiful Brooklyn, New York, New York, New York is... Ryan Nanny, New York. Ryan Nanny, New York, New York, standing on top of his modem, which he splits with somebody for $800 a month. Only in New York! Well, it's worth it because of the culture.

It's worth it because of the things you get to walk by. Because of the bacteria culture, growing on the modem. It's cold garbage. It's not hot like it is elsewhere. Except what it is. It's a really great place to watch the authenticated and fully fulfilled dreams of trust-fund children spread out before you. It's really magnificent. Only there can you see their imagination fully realized and horrible form from the college football capital of the world.

Go Rutgers! We're not here to talk badly about New York, although we're going to start out that way. because we're going to go directly to read our questions this week. I feel like we've kind of talked week three to death because week three just wasn't that substantial. So I want to go straight to Syracuse in case we aren't going ahead and answering the question with the Twitter handle.

Do you think that's supposed to be Syracuse D and he just didn't realize it was a pun? No, because there's two Cs in there. So maybe there's an ACC pun going on. I just figured he misspelled Syracuse. Well, it's a really good school if you've never heard of it. Remember, that's what everyone says when they're deeply insecure about their school. It's a really good school.

Have you guys ever been Syracuse of, like, losing the Georgia Tech by 56 points? That is such an unfair Syracusation. I've been Syracuse of being soft-nosed by Syracuse's own coach. You do have very soft-nose. I think it's very pleasant. It's plush and pleasing. to the touch. But Grand Sam, aka Syracuse, in case you can't tell how this question's going to be answered, says, why do you guys hate Syracuse football? And I have an answer, and it's this,

this is what we're going to open up discussing. My answer is this. There are two types of fan bases. There are those who are self-aware, and there are those who aren't, and Syracuse falls firmly in the ladder of being entirely unaware of their actual position in college football. Gentlemen, and agree or disagree? Absolutely agree. Any sort of a list on anything? If it's here are 10 teams that are maybe going to win the title or any sort of anything within seconds. It's why isn't Syracuse on this list?

Or I shouldn't say it like that. It's why isn't Syracuse on this list because they would pronounce it correctly, which is one thing they have going for them. I think in part that's because Syracuse probably gets left off a lot of lists. There are probably many times where the ACC office is distributed, like, oh, here's the 2015 schedule, and Syracuse just like, we're not on this. You left us off entirely. Like, oh, yeah, you guys are.

We thought you were still with Yukon, just doing your own thing. I think a good test of whether you're going to be an entirely successful or self-aware program is does everybody know what conference you're in? because there's kind of a direct relationship to certainty of conference and location and overall confidence and self-awareness as a program. Well, everyone knows. Yeah. Well, Syracuse, it's either in the America East or the Patriot League.

We're down to those two. The National League Central. Yeah. I will say this. If you write about Syracuse, you just might not as well. Because, one, they're actually not worth the attention. Here's why. since in 2001 they go 10 and 3

and then here's the rest of their pitiful records over the past decade 4 and 8, 6 and 6, 6 and 6, 1 and 10 4 and 8, 2 and 10, 3 and 9, 4 and 8, 8 and 5, 5 and 7 and 8 and 5. All right, you're basically public school Notre Dame playing inside a gigantic un-air-conditioned shed

named after an air-conditioning company. they've never heard that before and we're just going to keep repeating it because it's endlessly funny okay oh they remember like for a decade we won like 10 and nine games yeah you were playing in the big east you had donovan mcnab that's like the last thing that happened everybody won 10 games in the old big east like they just they just gave them to you they came in the mail yeah they didn't they didn't exactly add up it was sort of like a website that predicts uh wins and losses for uh for for every team team in a division and they don't really add up but we like everybody being happy but they're not real self-aware and i'll pair this with a question nobody asked but we're happy to answer

who's the flip side of that coin in your opinion jason if we're going for oh who would be the opposite of a a chaff-dict syracuse fan who wants something kind to be said about their program when there's very little to be said i'm going immediately to texas a and m which might be surprised for some people such as Texas fans who thought, oh, ho, ho, people in the South don't know what they're getting with the crazy Aggies. They're going to regret this, man, they're going to hate it, and all that stuff, which is totally not true, because these people are insane. They know they're insane. They're proud of how insane they are. They obsess over every single thing that could possibly be obsessed over, and they're obsessed with you recognizing how obsessed they are

with these things. They are the self-diagnosed lunatics, and for that, we cherish them. And Ryan, for you, who would your pair of extremely self-aware and then not at all self-aware fans? Start with the negative. Okay. My extremely unself-aware, I'm going to go with Maryland because I think Maryland's fine. I don't think it's a bad program by any means.

but anytime you happen to wander into a Maryland corner of the internet, it's all this focus on like, listen, we just need to, we just need something that's going to take us to the top. And there's not really a lot of recognition that like, hey, that might just not be in the cards, you know, you might not compete every year for the Big Ten championship. And that's cool. You can win eight, nine games and still be four. fun. Like, you know, Ralph Regent didn't make y'all a top 10 team every year, but Maryland was a program people talked about and had some fun players here and there and went to good bowls. But people in Maryland are very sort of, you know, insistent that there is some magic alchemy that nobody has figured out that will unlock Maryland's true potential as a beautiful college football butterfly.

yeah which it's just a moth it's just a moth and that's fine just be a moth it's a turtle fly just just float around and chew on Indiana's coat that's fine look sort of respectable sitting against a brightly lit outdoor light bulb right yeah yeah there you go be the best moth

you can be maryland look incredible on flicker yeah look incredible on flicker feed a hungry bird that's what maryland Holland's job is to feed a hungry bird. Who is your most self-aware? I'm changing it. I know I had said another team before we started,

but now I'm changing it because I thought about it. And I'm going to go with South Florida. Because there was a period there where, so I am known to, first of all, I'm a known Tampa native. That's on my government records, and it can never be removed, no matter how many times I go to the pay and spray.

Yeah, you can't hide that. You go right on the pay and spray. pray 50 bucks you still got three stars on that police chase me just still Tampa forever and I've certainly run a foul of our USF friends because of my negativity towards Tampa and for a while there I think they were pretty insistent that you know they deserve to be considered an up-and-coming program they had you know jumped over to FBS and done some things and won some games etc etc but I appreciate that it seems USF and its fan base have accepted that at least for now

things are just shitty and that's just how it is and that's not great and I don't wish that upon them but there is a value in recognizing that it's just not good right now and I say that as a Florida fan I understand I get I get painful sustained mediocrity now yeah so that's that's my two i got two hands on that ass that ass of mediocrine wow yeah uh we've got uh i've got two teams to address here the one that i believe has the the least self-awareness by the way we went three for three on acc which i think is appropriate because they're primarily basketball fans who kind of put on that football war gear for about two months maybe three sometimes three and a half

unless they're Virginia Tech or Florida State fans right they go hard and then they're like oh basketball so it's kind of an act and I think they're overly zealous about it it's a little overdetermined and theatrical but Georgia Tech fans are not that because they don't even have basketball

to look forward to be really hopeful too so I think the bitterness is real you're already in so many angry Maryland fans that are like we're not in the ACC anymore you asshole I know Yeah, but the thing is, yes, you are. Everyone knows you still are before.

Please, we still look at you, South Carolina being the ACC, and they haven't been in the ACC since like the 60s, right? It was 72 or 68 somewhere in there they come over. It's like radiation. It's just kind of, it's always going to be there. I think Jason Kirk has just posited ACC Half-Life, that really there's a half-life to be in the ACC

and that Maryland's has not worn off. It's like a Bowden half-life? So yes, Maryland, I'm real sorry for confusing you for still being in the ACC and giving that fine quality loss to West Virginia to the Big Ten so they could go three and six this past weekend out of conference

including one for 10 versus the power conferences for the season. Sorry I didn't give you that carrot, ponies. I'm sorry. You should go back to talking about Georgia Tech now. I made it much worse. Oh, yeah, I'm going to make it much worse because I get to talk about Georgia Tech fans. Speaking of, by the way, courts low on the oil of humanity anyway being engineers, right?

So not exactly the cuddliest people to begin with. How do I hug? Like, probably a quarter of all research at Georgia Tech is devoted to how to get along with other human beings, right? Much less interact with the rest of the world. I know this because I got a master's there in the most humane and thus least math-intensive program ever international affairs. I will also say this while I was there,

Chan Galey was the coach. How many football games did I go to as a student who could have waltzed in for next to nothing at that stadium? How many football games did I attend? Two. Two. Zero. Oh.

We were close. Why on earth would I have voluntarily shown up to watch a Chan Galee coach football team? And I understand. I don't know, maybe you were meeting your dealer there or something. Well, that wouldn't have been good. We could look at the city of Atlanta sitting in the stadium. It's a beautiful, beautiful skyline. We would have been spotted.

You can't meet your dealer in the stands at Georgia Tech because it's pretty obvious because you're the only two people in the section. That's not even lying at this point. Because Georgia Tech, I think, they have to be driven somewhat mad by being a pretty good football team over the past 30 years, but never really great by lucking into one of the most bizarre

split national titles ever in 1990, which, by the way, did come out of nowhere because if you look at them before that, their win totals, the previous five years are like two and three. like two three seven eleven and then immediately after as well and then they just dropped back off into five and six land you know it's probably the weirdest national title of the last 30 years and that in b yu eighty four like those two national titles both utterly bizarre they have to be angry

because they've made several atrocious hiring decisions and even the good decisions that they made weren't exactly the kind that you could feel really great about personally Georgia Leary. Yay, we hired Georgia Leary. Now, speaking on Georgia Tech, I sympathize here because I was raised a Georgia Tech fan and I come from a long line of Georgia Tech fans. So I sort of get the mindset. And, like, to me, it's the helpful thing that I would advise Georgia Tech fans on is

just stop talking about Georgia, just for the love of God. Just pretend Georgia doesn't exist except for, one or two weeks per year, and everything will be, you know, life will be rosier for you, people will get along with you better, but I've just never seen a fan base, in general, with exceptions, of course, more focused on Big Brother at the expense of everything else. Yeah, as far as self-awareness goes, I think Georgia Tech people, a great deal of them could take some lessons. I mean, Georgia won't let them do that, though. Like, Georgia won't let them not talk about Georgia. Because there's a personality conflict at root here, too, which is that they're always

going to be the nerd. And they can make, like, way more money than your average UGA grad and lead a happier life and be smarter, which they are on the whole. I'll give you credit for that. You're smarter in every single way, but this one. Sure, so celebrate those things. That would be, that would be That would be the smart way to do, but you're not, you're not wise. They're smart, but they're not wise because they will never turn down the bait of a UGA grad. No matter what a miserable, bloated, horrible golf wasteoid of a UGA grad they're up against. They will never put down the opportunity to get in that futile argument. Are we calling Georgia fans wise?

In this sense, yes. They're wise in the sense that they know that they've got And this is the Georgia fan thing, by the way, is that they're so dumb They only have one joke for everyone And they'll just ride it And they know that it works every single time It's hey, just run the dang joke Run the dang joke

They do everything that Mike Bobo refuses to do Run the play that works And the play that always works on Georgia Tech is Nerd and Cheat and Loser which comparatively, by evidence, is totally true. It's the worst part. It's very Jeff Foxworthy of them. It is real bad approach up to them.

You might be you if you're a nerd. If you're a nerd. Like they are, the idioticrat fan base of the University of Georgia will lean on that because it works. Because they might be idiots, but they're not unwise. The fan base that I would say is most self-aware. Wazoo. Washington State fans are among my favorite group of people because you can say I believe

this year's Washington State Cougars are basically one giant steaming heap of caribou shit and they'll go brother don't I know here's a shot of me drinking my ass off at the game and in 15 degrees cheering for those coogs who

cooged it again like that's they they are so self-ful and so comfortable and possessed with their own mediocrity that it's kind of beautiful, that they know the only thing they're supposed to do. It's not even win the tailgate. They've even managed to reduce that to something that they can win. They're like, well, we can't win the tailgate because other people tailgate harder and they might have prettier campuses.

But what we can do is we can drink every town we visit dry. Oh, yeah. That's what they'll win. They famously drank Auburn dry. they drink a plane to the Las Vegas bowl dry. A plane. They're like locusts.

They are. They're like locusts that feed exclusively on alcohol. God should have just sent Wazoo fans to Pharaoh first. I give up. I adore them because

if you follow any of their road trips on Twitter and or Facebook, you just set an alert for Wazoo or Washington State fans and you start seeing these panes. alerts from locals at the host cities going we're out of beer we're out of booze they took everything we're out of rubbing alcohol no gas in my car I really appreciate that

they're taking all of the liquid out of this environment I really appreciate that so clemsoning means a very specific thing but cooging it cooged it that has such a rich it's such a rich universe of ways in which something can be cooged oh it's an astonishing variety like oh well blocked a fake punt and gave up 35 in the second quarter cooged it like i feel like you can coog it before the game even starts yeah absolutely we got three freshmen and two walk-ons on the offensive line cooged it cooged it uh well man Man, what a... Now, now, to be fair, how would the two of you rate Florida on this scale?

Well, it's a very large fan base, so it's hard to get a handle on. But overall, I think we're very... I think we're unaware, for the most part. Yeah. Oh, we're horribly unaware. Yeah. Horribly. You know, like, I shouldn't be this upset by this season. I really shouldn't have been this upset by last season.

Well, your particular brand of madness has less to be... do with self-awareness than it does masochism. So, yeah. Because you know how, you know how absurd it is, but you are still doing it. Do I? I think you do.

You've written tens of thousands of words about Florida football for the last three years. Yeah, that's not real self-aware. I probably should have just stopped. The thing that seems crazy to me about Florida fans is the idea that winning nine to

six is no good you have to win 50 to 31 or otherwise the win doesn't count. Like that's always seemed insane to me about Florida fans. Yes, but that's true. Well, there you go. It's a style thing, God damn it.

Like, what's the point of living? You want to answer a couple of other questions? I have one or two that I might want to get to before we address the week's games. Okay, I got one. This is from at Weebman. else. Appropriately, the question is, which coach is most likely to be a juggalo?

Now, I want to interpret this question that it is not which coach could be most easily a juggalo. It's which coach is most likely now to actually be in his personal life a juggalo. Okay. Do you have an answer? Because I do. Well, let's hear your answer. My answer would be, I think it's got to be, no, no, no, I'm trying to decide between two coaches, and I think it has to be Paul Rhodes. Wow.

The passion he exhibits? I think it's the passion he exhibits, because I just see him. The lunging? Yeah, and PJ Fleck a second. okay oh that's a really good choice yeah that's PJ Fleck was where I was I was thinking I think that's where I was leaning to because uh I was pulling up the the salaries database to find a really a really young Mac coach who doesn't make much money and needs someone aside and hey he fits all three of those I think Paul Petrino would be a very interesting juggalo

lonely out there in Moscow that's that's a good one uh I'm going to take this question by the which is the who would rope a hog better okay this is from the Texas State University Larry Koker Dennis Francioni and I think that UTSA asked it or Texas State asked us that a guy Will Butler who apparently has the handle the TXST Univ so I don't think it's actually I think we can assume he's a school president all right yeah Will Butler president of Texas State University, ask, who a rope a hog better, Larry Coker, Dennis Franchone? And seriously, this is the biggest blowout I could have picked. Larry Coker, by far. Grew up in Oklahoma. As far as I know, Dennis Franchone is just, he's just a small town villain from a roadhouse, straight to DVD-style

drama. I'm going Larry Coker all the way. I mean, he did, Franchone did grow up in Kansas, so I don't know if that swings it at all, but probably not. he's also coached at a texas aanm yeah and new mexico i think that's a that's a survival skill in certain parts of the world yeah but only in the sense of like oh you learned how to live off due yeah you know larry cocker's been out of work recently he he could have had to have forged for food as recently as like six years ago so i'm i'm still going with him okay that's fair right pork pork is uh pretty popular in south florida so you never know C C.

El Hamon. Jason, you got another one? Yeah, this one comes to us from Nixon Robocop. Which NHL team is the most SEC? I don't fucking know. Man. Are there, what are, what, do you know of any of those? I mean, the thrashers, I guess.

Wherever they are. Otherwise, the hawks. I'm actually going to say the Detroit. red wings and here's why one they win all the time and two they basically commit a minor active animal cruelty to celebrate so

that seemed pretty SEC to me okay that'll work what's the animal oh they there's an octopus or something yeah they throw that octop hockey facts exactly they throw that octopus out there on the ice that's pretty barbaric and that to me screams the southeastern part of the United States

now there's one in Tennessee isn't there yeah but you know that's just a bunch of Ohio State fans. A bunch of people from Ohio who want a better quality of life so they go to Tennessee and boy, what a sad statement that is. Calling you out, Kirk Herb Street. I see you, Kirk. I'm sure he's a listener.

Every week. Game day prep. He's hanging up his clothes in the shower right now. Hey, wait a second. Kirk, find that. Kirk, if you listen to this. podcast you'll get germs there he'll never listen again okay good we've we've saved him yeah he's totally right uh Ryan you got a one more reader question anywhere in there yes um this is from uh Nicholas Eckert

and he wants to know could Florida beat no no hold on hold on no let me let me all right Spencer you are the most negative person about Florida football right now in in the world Except for Wheelbust champ. Okay, all right. Even he is more optimistic than you are, though. So let me run through the teams, and you tell me, we'll stop once you say Florida couldn't beat somebody. But let me run through them, okay? Okay.

Let's start with Purdue. Could Florida beat Purdue? Yeah. Could Florida beat Northwestern? Yes. Could Florida beat... Rutgers I'm going to say that Gary Nova

versus our secondary is probably a bad matchup okay all right so we've got three big 10 teams already yeah let's let's up let's up in a little could Florida beat Iowa no no no no no

Florida is exactly the kind of team who's meant to fall into Kirk Ferrence's honeypot okay could Florida beat Michigan yeah that's not good All right, so we've at least found four big big 10 teams Florida could beat. We've got Illinois. I don't know who that is.

Yeah, that's not football. I was just looking at a map. I was just looking at a state. I saw the name of a state nearby. Tweet, Aligni football, second quarter. Do you guys all follow that account now? Oh, God. They stormed through with a safety to go down 252 to Florida.

I just want to send a message to all our listeners. one follow that account. Follow the Illini football official Twitter account, please. Follow it. It's the saddest thing you will ever watch, and you really have to like admire the bravery and fortitude of the person who has to watch all this and go, oh, field girl, Aligni.

I want somebody to just follow, make a Twitter account, just follow the Illinois football account and nothing else, and you try for a whole week. Try for that to be all you know about the sports world. It'll be such a gas lighting. You'll come out of it the next week and you'll be like, oh my God, I didn't even realize these other teams played.

This is great. Illinois lost. I thought we won by 30. Yeah, my God. There's people who score on purpose. Wow. Yeah. So, yeah, the only teams that I think

that Florida would seriously struggle with in the Big Ten, Iowa because it's dumb. It's just dumb playing. football with them and dumb on dumb is like pretty much must champ nightmare um i think that ohio state we probably lose to even with um braxton miller yep yep oh yeah it would be extremely well must champ to make a quarterback an opposing quarterback who hadn't done anything look awesome now um wisconsin oh wisconsin hall how long would it take for florida to

score on Michigan State. Not how many points would Michigan State give up, just how long would it take to score? A touchdown, seven quarters. Oh, that's too short. Seven, we'd have to play two, we'd have to play one point seven five games to get to a TD. No, I don't see, I think that's, yeah, that's rosy. I'm an optimist. You know that. I know, I'm sorry. This is getting dark. Yeah, let's stop answering this question. Let's actually talk about games of note this week, starting with maybe my favorite matchup

the entire week, which happens early. We're eating dessert first, which is appropriate for Kansas. And Alabama. And Alabama, we'll eat two desserts first. You hit that chocolate wonderful as an appetizer. Because Auburn is going to Kansas State

the Battle of Cow versus Cowell in Manhattan. Kansas. I love this matchup because it is one team that wants to run as many plays as possible versus one that will state overtly and explicitly that it would like to run as slow in offense as possible with the most possible damage. Yeah, Kansas State runs the home alone defense and offense. He's like, uh-oh, we put tar and nails everywhere. Your fault if you step on it. I'm a child so I can't be prosecuted. Cuted. Ron Prince left

Grandpa alone at the house again. Just Bill Snyder, home alone over the holidays. Watching angels with dirty faces. It's setting booby traps everywhere. Eating pizza. Eating pizza. Singing in the mirror while he

shaves, right, with the towel on his head. Just talking to his Michael Jordan cutout. Well, with him, it's like a George Mican cutout, right? Some old ancient. Oh, I miss you, George. It's like an Archangel Michael cut out.

Dunking. Yeah, the shot clock ended your career, and that wasn't fair. Should be no limit on greatness chronologically. Yeah, I also like this game, too, because it'll be very interesting to me to see exactly how frustrated Auburn gets with this. Because it will be really frustrating. This will be a very frustrating game for Auburn. Now, they actually run kind of similar. offenses um just at totally different speeds yeah in a way it's going to be kind of like watching

a game just pressing fast forward at random it albren Kansas state is basically Auburn's like screwed and chopped yeah like that's like it's the whole offense just run really slowly Bill Snyder's on that lean he's oh hey what that purple that purple drank yeah exactly what color do they wear what color do they wear K state's been on that perp long before it was a hit. So I'm super intrigued by this game. What else catches Yon Eye this week, Ryan Neenie? Oh, my God.

Not Alabama, hosting Florida. Oh, no, I'm skipping. Okay, I will go ahead throw out Virginia at BYU. Thank you for throwing that out. What are you moving on to now that that's thrown out? No, I am interested to see if I am interested to see if Virginia's defense is actually all that good and if they can contain Taysom Hill that would be fun

and if they can't I am enjoying actively rooting for everything else to burn down on the way to BYU getting a playoff bid even though they will have only beaten like the sixth and seventh and tenth best teams in power conferences. I'm fine with that. I feel pretty bad for BYU, though, because by the time a playoff rolls around, they're going to be so tired.

They're like, oh, those kids having sleep trouble and we're sleep training in the other baby. Yeah, getting through the holidays. Getting through the holidays and New Year's got the family around. Yeah, we've got to spend Thanksgiving at her house. In-laws. And laws.

Okay, fine. You don't like that. I will give you a better one. Utah at Michigan. Because I like this game for reasons that can only be described as purely evil. Are you hoping that Utah puts up like a 40 spot on Michigan at home? Oh, oh, man, am I ever? Because Michigan has beaten, I would say, their two wins have come over.

two of the bottom 10 teams in FBS. Is that fair? Miami and App State? Yeah, they're both pretty deplorable. You threw out the records in that Michigan Appalachian State rivalry. That's true. That's true. It's just pure clean mountain hate.

Pure clean mountain to boring Midwestern prairie. Mountain to Sandwich Town. No way to talk about the Upsils. The Upsils. Yeah, you don't get to pick games anymore, Ryan. I'm going to go, I'm going to ask Jason, because you picked two atrocities. A week where we actually have a fair amount of interesting football.

Jason, I'm not sorry. What catches your eye? Well, there's a few headliners, but I hope we don't overlook Mississippi State, and it's fine defense traveling to play LSU, a team that at this point, their entire offense is just slinging it to that wide receiver, Darrell. I don't know how you say his last name. I haven't watched any LSU games so far this year.

That's good. Dural. Dural. It's Louisiana. It's probably Dural. Ror, Durrull. But the entire offense is just hoping this fellow catches an 85-yard touchdown, and then they just sort of shut it down.

Is that going to work against Mississippi State? yes probably it's probably remember they haven't they haven't beaten them since 1999 that was the last time LSU lost and by the way well you know what

surge is coming back so this is the surge game the Wayne Matkin surge that was a 3 and 8 LSU team by the way and like they won by the skin of their teeth I think it was like a like a 1716 game So Mississippi State, at its best, and its most powerful, juiced with all of that Jackie Cheryl corruption, you know, football steroid, still only beat LSU by a point.

So it's probably not happening. That's my guess. I'm going to tackle it because I'm going. Maybe Florida at Alabama. It'll be bad. Just be ready. It's going to be an awful thing to want. watch. Florida will probably get more yards than Alabama wants because Alabama's now a really

glamorous League 12 team. But that doesn't really matter because Alabama's been averaging over 500 yards of offensive game and didn't show anything this past week in their blowout of Southern Miss. So I just assume this is the usual pave and prey game. They'll just put us in the ground, put a nice headstone on us, and I'll have to drive four hours home crying. again. You did that to yourself. I don't feel bad for you. I know.

I don't ask for your pity. I'm going to watch Utah, Michigan and go to bed at a reasonable hour. So there. Seven. I ain't even going to watch it. I'm going to sleep all day. I'm just going to go to bed.

It's a sleeper day for me. Just going to go to bed and guess Jeff Driscoll's numbers. 19 for 52. Three I&Ts, no touchdowns, and two fumbles. Be like, oh, my God, I was exactly right. You know what? Let's do this right now. Call Jeff Driscoll's line.

Like, seriously. Call this line. We'll see who comes closest to it. Is anybody going to keep track of this? I'm going to write this down right now. These are our guesses for Jeff Driscoll's line. Should we just do yards for sake of? Nope, nope, make it as exactly.

as possible, so that we can make this bet as absurd as possible. All right. I'm going to go 14 of 37 for 212 yards, one touchdown, and one interception. 14 and 37, 212 yards for one touchdown and two interceptions? One interception. One touchdown. Ooh, you're conservative with the interceptions. Okay.

All right. Jason? you can put me down for 12 of 23 I'll do actually you know what I think DeMarcus Robinson can light up Alabama a little bit the thing is if Jeff Driscoll can survive long enough for that to happen so well we'll go with that same completion total

but maybe say 200 is it who's it closest without going over yeah do you want to do the prices right system yeah yeah put me down for that okay so 211 yards because Ryan's at 212 yeah yeah yeah well no way well no then he either want to go 213 in that case I'll do 12 of 12 of 23 for one yard I'm writing you down for that 12 and 23 for one yard and with a lot of plays what's our TD and I and T here uh I'll go two touchdowns and uh one pick. Okay.

You guys are optimists. One yard and two touchdowns. There's a weird backwards thing going. There's a lot of sacks. A lot of sacks. I will go large and suggest that he goes 22 or 47. Oh, no, there's going to be a lot of passing because they're going to be down. for 200 and I'm going to go up

I'm going to go 287 yards Wow Yeah with no TDs and three picks And I won't even entertain what my heart says Which is that he's going to get injured Because that's what happens to Jeff Driscoll

versus Alabama This would make it the third highest passing yardage in his career. Yep, yep. I think that's what we've got because he's throwing the ball that many times. And his highest was last week. Yep, new day, new offense. I hate myself.

Remember, new day, new offense, same results. Well, they might go to triple overtime. That's been the funniest thing this week from Florida analysts is, look at this offensive output. It's when you had seven quarters. Of course she put up a bunch of yards. Kentucky was tired. I'm telling you,

we're just getting a more innovative and exciting variation of failure. That's what this year for Florida football will be all about. I think another game to look at if we are gazing at the schedule and looking at potentially interesting games, Clemson and Florida State

to me is potentially interesting only because Florida State can't possibly be excited enough about this game. Like they can't. Florida State just go to like, yeah, it's Clemson. And if there's anything we know about Davo Swinney, is that his team will be excited. Maybe not. Without doubt.

Maybe not ready. Maybe not productive. Maybe not capable. But like their fingers plugged into a light socket. Bang. Bolting out of there. I would also point you to Oklahoma. maybe the legitimate, like, the most legitimately scary game for a major opponent this week is Oklahoma at West Virginia.

Oh, without question. I mean, you could say scary road trip without even talking about the game. We don't have to involve football. That's just terror right there. There's only one road in and out. That may be my favorite end of game story ever was going there for the LSU game and looking as the great evil fog fell off of the mountain over the stadium and just began to creep, like a Stephen King short story into the stands. And you know it's a bad situation when LSU fans are like, well,

let's get the hell out of here. This ain't right. This ain't Christian. Really? Oh yeah. I got a real low bar for what that is. Yeah, that's like, that's beyond like the canary in the coal mine. That's like the dragon in the coal mine is scared. yeah like if you're ever in some sort of you know space opera kind of movie and the aliens and predator all begin running past you right like that's that's what that is uh anything else catching the eye this week gentlemen uh i think cal arizona could be fun late at night just because points that's got the highest fun quotient to me yeah like i don't i don't think that'll necessarily be a game you say that was really well played but you'll say boy there were A lot of touchdowns where the cornerback had no idea what was going on. That was fun. Yeah. Anything for you, Jason?

We should mention Miami-Dabrasca. There's an important historical element there. You know, Miami might have a decent passing day. You never know. Nebraska's had a little bit of attrition in the secondary and so forth. That one could get interesting. You didn't sound like you believed that at all. Well, I was asked, and, you know, it's, I mean, do you want me to talk about South Carolina Vanderbilt or?

I'm going to give you one more, just to put it all, just to tie it all together here at the end of a taught 45-minute podcast. Is that all? I feel like we're robbing people. I know. Just to give it to you, I think there's going to be some spectacular variation on Cooganette, because Oregon comes to Pullman. Yeah, that's going to be, this might be that we always talk about the Oregon third quarter, where Oregon, you know, the games, that's like a three-point game at the half, and then Oregon dumps 45 points on some poor sucker. It might be in for one of those here. Might be in for four third quarters.

This was the game last year where Oregon's defensive coordinator complained that Washington State was throwing the ball too much, even though they were down like five touchdowns, right? This is the game when Connor Halliday They're mad that Connor Halliday was running down the score Yeah which by the way He's running down the score and setting a record Beating Drew Breeze's record For attempts in a game Against Oregon with 89

And I'm going to go ahead and go out there and say that this year's variation of Cooganet Is going to be the Washington State Cougars Pissing Oregon off and doubling down with Mike Leaves calling over 90 passes in this game. That's right. Can they crack 100? So I'm going to say, you would say over 100's possible in this case. There's only one way to find out, just, you know, make it happen.

At that point, do you have Conner Halliday on like a baseball pitch count? Like, we need to get our setup man in there. Start throwing? Bring in the bullpen. We got the closer QV coming in. He's thrown 120. His arm's going to fall off. Connor is a knuckleer.

you can leave him out there. There's a strong case to be made for that. Mike Leach is just the dusty baker. What's the pitch count? 300? 400? I don't know. He's Grover Cleveland out there.

He'll tell me if he wants to come out. He's not bleeding. Conor Halliday. Exactly. Well, you know he is, too. I think that at any point of Washington State QB is bleeding continuously and profusely from some part of his body.

from a Stanford hit that hasn't even happened yet from some unheeled World War I war wound that gets passed down from generation to generation what's that it's the Washington State bayonet stab every quarterback has the Washington State bayonet stab Grandpa Fred coogged it against the Kaiser I think we end with that