ShutdownFullcast2.6
00:00Oh, welcome to the shutdown fullcast.We're not going to really mess about discussing a whole lot of the formalities of introduction.I'm Spencer Hall from Everyday Should Be Saturday and SBNation.com.Joining me, Jason Kirk.He's the guy with the crickets, the Lord of the Night Insects.Say hello, Jason.Hello, and say hello to my minions.Speak, my angels.
00:26Sing, sing!Madness has overtaken all of us in week six.He's our college football editor at SB Nation, by the way.He has a job.Also has a job, ladies.Ryan Nanny, joining us from Brooklyn.Fortune Magazine.He is Fortune Magazine.
00:47Everything you read published in Fortune Magazine comes from...All by me.Comes from That Man's Gifted Nimble Hands.He's typing right now, but still joining us for a lowly college football podcast.Like I said, we're not going to mess around because week six was, this is when the season started.It started on Thursday night when Oregon lost to Arizona to Rich Rodriguez, the unheralded rogue coach.Nobody's ever hired for a big job.Just sitting out there in the desert like a vein of coffer or a rogue Aztec diamond just floating out there all by himself, just waiting for some large program.
01:27I'm like, I don't know, maybe Michigan to take him.It rolled on through Friday when Taysam Hill was injured and BYU's playoff hopes.Ryan, where did they go to live?To their own planet in the celestial heavens.It's a pretty good planet.And by the way, tore like everything.Holiday Bolgia.Holiday Bolgia.
01:51Out there somewhere in beautiful Mormon celestial heaven.Don't make fun of Mormon heaven.It's a really good deal, compared.to other heavens. Even if you geta crappy one, it's like, it's stillprobably pretty good.I'm still by myself. It's an improvement.Hey man, I've seen pictures of Provo. If there's a whole planet
02:09that looks like that, I'm going.Exactly. I'm saying,you know, I could live, if the planet looks likethat, I can probably make it without caffeine.I'm saying.Games that amused you, amazed you.I think we each have one to discussthat we watched devoted ourselves to
02:29and we're utterly shocked byand I don't want to start with the big obvious oneso I want to go to Ryan firstthe first one beingyou watched Oklahoma TCUwhich was a stunning resultgiven everything Oklahoma had coming inyes? Yeah I thought
02:44it was interesting becauseTCU jumped out to a big leadand then like Oklahoma chipped awayTCU jumped out to another small leadOklahoma chipped awayand then Oklahoma chipped away and then Oklahomatook the lead early in the third quarter and you were like, okay, I've seen how this works.And then TCU's defense got mean, like super mean and nasty and just like, you know, Big Game Bob is a fun thing to throw around.
03:13But this wasn't like, oh, you know, Oklahoma got massively outcoached.Now, they just kind of got their ass beat for the last 25 minutes of the game or so.and that was weird to seeand by the wayI think that's a thingthat we'll probably echothrough all of the gamesthat we discussed
03:32there wasn't a whole lot ofoh then we had the gamestolen from us by the officialsexcept for maybe you Oregonyou had other problemsthey had a lot of other problemsthat offensive line is a sievebut most of these games
03:49if you looked at themthese were pretty decisivethey were not reallylike you looked at them and they made sense you know like tCU toward the end of that game if youlook at that fourth quarter box score it makes sense they are kicking oklahoma's ass yeah theylike totally they totally earned it and i don't know it maybe it's not like a deaf knell foroklahoma and not something will walk away saying oh you know they're overrated and they don'tdeserve anything as usual um but damn like
04:24TCU looked really, really good on defense.And that was fun to see in a conferencewhere that is often lacking in recent years.Preach.Preach.Jason being fond of Crowbagnon football will, of course,preaches.But they also played a little offense.
04:45Like Chavon Boykin threw for 300 yards.And like, you know, they didn't have to just beat Oklahomawith Rock, although they did do.that they have a rock to beat them with it is a it is a rock and it is for beating yeah and defensivelyif you can of course play some defense in the big 12 and do it really well you're automaticallybetter than like all but three teams in the conference you know provided you have an offenseprovided you don't play the like iowa state game if you're like ha ha we have a defense andzero offense and the rest hate us
05:22And yes, and our AD, in case there wasn't enough crazy, this Jamie Pollard, the athletic director of Iowa State, goes on a post-game tirade that cost him 25 grand, claiming that there is a conspiracy against Iowa State, to which I argue a conspiracy requires energy organization, two things pretty much lacking in like the same place.You don't find that in the same place in college football, and it would require a real dislike and knowledge of what Iowa State is, which I'm.Only Iowa has.But it does, Iowa State is a petty enough target that it does sort of fit Big 12 country.Like, that's where you hate somebody for no reason who already has nothing.How can you hate a town who's like chief claim to fame as having clean water?Some, some clean water.They were very clear that it was not all of the water.
06:20Hey, you know what that clean water ain't?It ain't oil.that's true you can't drink that can you huh it's a really strong point it flows right out of the faucetsin texas and oklahoma them iowans getting all snooty with their water hmm my baby's beendrinking oil for eight years strongest child in his preschool um you have an eight year old in preschoolwell in texas you do i mean the kid drinks oil ryan kid drinks oil he's just he's we're justWe're red shirting him for life.Just going to get him big and set him loose.
06:54The state of Texas, where we red shirt you for life.These are his mission years, so.My car runs on oil while I can't my son.Jason, the game that you have picked as your sort of stunning upset game,believe you have Mississippi State, Texas A&M?This is the game that we settled on.I don't know how shocking and all that it was,but definitely a larger margin in the early in the fourth quarter than anyone would have predicted.
07:25Mississippi stayed up 31 points early in the fourth.Partially due to some weird turnover-y stuff, there was sort of a tipped interception,and Texas A&M ended up with 526 yards and all that.So I don't know if this one was quite as impressive as either the 4817 margin or the final margin suggests,Still, a convincing hands-down blowout of a team that everyone coming into the year and through five weeks thought was a very good Texas A&N team, and probably still is.Just wasn't their day against a very good Mississippi State front seven, you know, against an offense that's going to be able to run the ball on anybody.Probably just a really bad matchup for Texas A&M.I think a lot of people are higher on Mississippi State at this point than I am, but still, you know,
08:17nothing you can take away from this win that isn'tdamn that's a good football teamyeah I think that was the shocking thing was thatis that how well-roundeda defeat it was delivered toA&M right it wasn't just you knowlike with the Arkansas game it was pretty obviousthat Arkansas was just really good at leaning on them right
08:38and that they were just going to drag out the gameand run on them and take it to the fourth quarterand I think how thorough this waswas kind of shocking to me, particularly in the pressure side, because, you know, they gotthree INTs off Kenny Hill. You know, he's had some pressure and he's had some erratic playbefore, but this was a totally consistent, like, frizzle fry of Kenny Hill's quarterbackingnervous system for basically the second half. It's not help that Kenny Hill's receiversdropped, like, a lot of good passes. That's another thing. There were about nine,
09:16or 10 drops that MSU did very little to force.If they play this game five more times, it's a whole lot closer.But still, I don't think even if you give them, you know, five, six, seven, eight of thosecompletions, Mississippi State still walks away with it.Also, I think the big element that changes things from Mississippi State offensively.Little Caesar's mascot.The little Caesar's mascot.And Josh Robinson, who I trust is.
09:46a running back because he's got a big butt.He's got the Michael Turner going back there.He's basically this like bowling ball-shaped running back.And I trust any running back who I suspect has like a density somewhere around molten copper.And that's Josh Robinson.Well, got to be careful state of Mississippi if you're molten copper.Somebody might steal you and sell you.This might just strip you out of the Mississippi State roster.
10:12Sell you on the market.Let's go ahead and.go to the last game I want to mention,which isthe tragedy ofConnor Halliday.Oh,if you want to,
10:26there were a lot of painful,odd things that happenedthis weekend,one of which beingOle Miss Famo,which we are going to talk about that.I just want to reserve a notebefore we do that
10:38to just say that a quarterbackthis weekendmanaged to throwfor more yardsthan any quarterbackin the history of college footballand lost his game.Serbs and right.
10:55You know, he's thrown,he threw more yards than that gamethan 11 teams have thrown for all year.Yeah.And not even like, yeah, like, fine.Georgia Tech is on that list.Air Force is on that list.Like, actual teams, UCF is on that list.
11:16yeah and and by the way in this game uh went 49 for 70typical did not throw a pickneither did jared goth thoughi think i think all defensive backs were basically playing with ping pong paddlestrapped to their hands they there was absolutely no danger whatsoever of anyoneintercepting a pass at allThey didn't even get the good ping-pong paddles.They got the one with the stripping all ripped off.
11:51But sometime around 2.45 a.m. Eastern time,they missed a field goal and lost this game.And I'm just, I'm so very sorry, Connor Halliday.You have now exceeded Nick Foles for the Connor Hallidayand a losing effort award.I mean, what is there to take away from this,from this utter nonsense?Like, what do we learn from this?
12:18Both teams are horrible.Like, there's no wisdom.Nothing, this is a total.You're just mad because you're going to lose a bet.Yeah, you're mad because Cal's going to make you look bad.Because Cal is on the other end.They're on the other end of the spectrum.Go ahead, the bet.
12:37Well, Stephen Godfrey and I bet back in, like, May, that Cal would not win four.I bet Stephen that Cal would not win four games this year.year they have done so.The arrangement wasfried chicken was on the line because we'reboth from the south. This is the onlycurrency we know. Cal has provedme wrong, so way to go,
12:57Cal. I get to eat fried chicken now.Look who's the real winner here.No, no, no. No, no. It goes fartherthan that. Where is Calin the Pack 12 standings right now?Well, they lead the Pac-12 north.Hey, that's not my fault.Kings of the Pac-12 north.
13:14All Californiais bizarro will must chant football.They're just on the other end of the spectrum.You're going to watch it.You're going to be horrified.And at the end, covered in blood and victorious and alone and maybe missing an arm,will be Sunny Dykes.Cow is what everybody accused Baylor of being for a couple years.
13:36Like we didn't, we, everybody thought Baylor couldn't play defense.This is Cal.You had no way.No, no, no, no, no.you you were mistaken there is there is anotherturns out bailer wasonly kind of bad at defensebefore it got good
13:55it's like when you had scary rap as a kidand you're like oh my goshlike the ghetto boys kind of scare meand then DMX came alongand his album cover was him covered in bloodyou're like oh no it's that Wutang side projectabout like eating peopleyeah okay this is scarier than two life crew
14:14that's so dirty two live crew yeah this is cool kate's sex style why don't you listen to thatwrap your ears around that oh baylor's so bad oh wait do you hear wazooyou just compared baler to two left crew i did i think this means cal ends up impersonatingan fbi agent like five years from now uh yes i can see that can't you see come on sunnysunny dykes that's a name that's just like born to testify in federal court so you're you'reto get me, you're trying, you want me to believe that Tony Franklin is going to impersonatea government agent. Man, ain't no other cats got love for me. He already looks like anundercover cop. Come on, he kind of does. Yeah, that old coaching staff kind of does.
14:58They all did that. That's Cal. That's Cal. Hey, man, we play real cool football. We don't know.Don't worry about that defense. Just come on in and throw the ball, man. You guys hook me upwith some MJ.Maybe a little bit of that horse.I heard that's on the streets.We throw around the drugs ball.Just a holes.Come on in and score a whole bunch of drugs in the end zone.
15:24Just Cal football, a whole staff full of narks.That's what, dude.In too deep.That's why Tuberville kicked him off the staff at Auburn.Tuberville knows a snitch.That's right.Then finally to go to the discussion of, I think, the,the game everyone expects you to talk about this week, which is good because it really was,
15:46I think, exciting, if not totally shocking.In hindsight, that would be Old Miss beating Alabama, which, going back and rewatching it,I was sort of stunned at how short they kept things for Blake Sims after the Florida game plan.Like, they did take shots down field, but it was nothing like what they were able to do againstFlorida, or what they try to do against Florida.It was really kind of looked a lot likethe USC stuff that Lane Kiffin kind ofI think got choked
16:18out on in L.A.Like a lot of like short littlerollouty. They, they were prettyconservative with him at times. And thatsort of surprised me. I think they were terrifiedthat if they let him sit in the pockettoo long, he was going to get killed.Which was a legitimate
16:34concern. Right. Because againstFlorida, they had all kindsof time in the pocket, but that was not true.against old miss and if you're rewatchthere's multiple moments where uh blake simsgets pressured and juststarts scooting around and something reallydumb happens like there's one point
16:51where he just scrambles out of boundsand loses five yards and they miss a field goalof course it's Bama so theywouldn't have missed itwould be laughingmisfortune one secondit made it easier it made it more likelyto be returned for a touchdown
17:08which it wasn't butbut yeah they i think they i think the lesson like when i came away from it what made sense to mewas oh old mrs defense is awesome and they actually yeah they were actually able to reallyscrew up a lot of what i like the only thing alabama could do consistently was run with t j eltont jelden still had over a hundred yards derrick henry was pretty bottled up and sims theyreally limited what sims could do amari cooper still got catches i meanHe was pretty well defended, and Cooper still had, you know, he still caught the ball nine times, didn't quite have 100 yards, didn't have a TD at all.Yeah, and Bama earned 10 offensive points.
17:5410, 3 in the second half.Lane Kiffin.I mean, even adjusting for the Kiffin factor, I think Ole Miss's defense is the best unit in the country right now.It just looks like, I mean, it looks like you're watching like.missile command or something and justshit's coming down at you.They drop everybody backto, you know, the take away the pass, and then
18:17they just rally so fastand so hard, and they hit like hell.The other thing I was shocked at washow many three-man rushes? They gotpressure with three and four men a lot.There were not a whole lot of blitzesgoing on. Not a lotat all. And the best part
18:34was watching Robert Kandichi, becauseif you watch Robert Kandici, number five,playing on the interior for them,on the nose or working as one of the de-tackles when they have a four-man front.When they do that, Kandici does not pursue the ball carrier at all.He just pushes his man as far into the backfield as possible every play.It's hilarious.His mission is to just disrupt.
19:01That's good.He's the Zuckerberg defense.He's just the venture capital tackle.They just disrupt.Just push him.As far, like, there are so many times when Sims had to scramble, like, oh, shit, like, tree falling.Like, that's it.He's not even going to- Here come 600 pounds, I better move.
19:21Kanditi is still young and raw enough that, like, he doesn't, he hasn't figured out that, oh, now I'll get the ball and dominate move.No, he's just beating this man's ass in front of him.And still playing a new position.This is a defensive end slash running back in high school who played mostly that his freshman year.They slid him inside the defensive tackleAnd I mean, his jobIs just be a monsterYeah, there's a play where he backs
19:46Ariquancho up, okay?Like he ends up matched up on AriquanchoAnd he backs him up and AriquanjoHe bends Ariquanjo, right?Like 320, right?Bends Ariquanjo in half basicallybackwards. And it's the most amazing playBecause one, Condici
20:02bends a man at halfAnd two, Ariquanjo is strong enoughAnd flexible enoughTo just have that happenAnd sort of snap back after playlike, oh, that's funny, that can happen.Okay, cool.It's astonishing.
20:14So, yay, old misses defense,and Bo Wallace didn't turn the ball over.Yay, there's your whole game right there.Yeah.I guarantee you,one of those things cannot lastall season.Which one, Ryan?
20:29Which one, Ryan?Come on, don't make me say bad things about Dr.Bo?Dr. Bo is going to throw his picks.He's the only dad I ever had.Man, can Dr. Bo live?Let the man express himselfto the pick every now and that.
20:45Under the terms of that settlement, he cannot live.I also did laugh because one of the first plays in the gamewas a design quarterback run for Dr. Bo.Like, wake him up with a hit.Like, that was the first thing they didwas throw 175 pounds of pure Mississippi, like,courage right into the teeth of the Alabama defense.Tyler Darden style.
21:07Punch me as hard as you can.That's just a little anesthesia.Just getting the doctor loosened up, you know?You're numb now, ain't you?He's been around the ether so much.He can't operate without a little bit of it as snoop.Good shit.Yeah, that and he threw beautiful passes when they need to.
21:28They throw one of the better backshould, like, the Laquan Treadwell.They throw one of the better little back shoulder fades.That little back shoulder throw?Oh, they're really, they're good at that.It's funny of that bullshit.works when you have like a six five five star five star to throw it to everybody else in the countrydoes that nonsense to you know hey you're five average little wide receiver you're five eight youplayed quarterback in high school you go get this pass yeah sure that'll work you just have to
21:57just use the scott shaffer of syracuse model you just have to want it more people out herecutting heads off you said scoff schafer that made me laugh I did soft nose ass coach um umLet's move on to, there's a thing we sort of wanted to do.We were trying to figure out what we wanted Jason to read in this particular voice,because it turns out Jason does, I think, what is a, not just a passable,but an excellent Wright-Thompson imitation.So in honor of Wright-Thompson, recently departed from Twitter, Wright-Thompson,we wanted to honor Old Mrs. Victory by having him read something,
22:37which was extremely inappropriate for Wright Thompson to read.So what is your selection, Jason, that you're going to be reading?I'm going to be reading an article entitled,Air Loom Popcorn Helps a Snack Reinvent Itself from the New York Times.Because when you think Wright Thompson and Old Miss,don't you think the bleached, parboiled, bland prose of the aliens who write the New York Times?Jason, whenever you're ready.Shillsburg, Iowa.
23:13Corn confronts you at every turn in Iowa.It blurs past the car window for hours.Stop for gas, and you're likely to find a patch growing out back.Much of it will fuel cars, feed cattle, and sweeten food.But a half-hours drive from Cedar Rapids in front of Gene and Lynn mealhouse, sturdy farmhouse.Ears of corn no bigger than a child's hand grow from seeds, the family,can trace back to the 1850s. The small pearly flint corn has never been genetically modified orhybridized. Its only purpose is to pop into small, crisp puffs that taste of pure toasted porn.
23:50Mr. Mealhow, 59, a soil expert who still looks very much like the hippie drummer he once was,speed ears driving around trying to sell his precious popcorn. Now, his tiny but mighty brand is on theShales of Whole Foods.Stop with Whole Foods. That's great.Oh, so, congratulations, y'all.Hottie. Hottie.I look forward to somebody isolating just Whole Foods.Whole for poops.
24:22What is your text alert message?Oh, it's Jason saying,Whole Foods is right, Thompson.No one will understand this joke.Ever.That's it. We just ruin the whole show.Yay.Oh, no.
24:36I don't know why that happened.Oh, well, with that, I think that that's, we'll do that again,because I like listening to Jason Cough afterwards.He's kind of, you said he's kind of got a little undertaker in there?Can you hear me?Hello?I can hear you still.Okay, Jason, can you hear me?
25:03Hey, I can hear you now.Okay, cool.That's it.33, 233.23. We'll take that out.Leave it.Leave it.But you say there's a little bit of Undertaker in there, right?Yeah, it's either Undertaker or Bray Wyatt.
25:22Sort of that plus cookie monster.It's, I don't think I have it down at all, but it's a work in progress.It's coming along. It's close enough to, you know, make me snort.So we'll do that again.because I do enjoy listening to You Strain and say the word puffs.Puffs.It's a good word.Reader mail time.
25:47Reader mail.And by mail we mean tweets.Let's start off with...I want to start up with a bang.I'm going to start up with my own.Which is from Telco Ag on Twitter.Which is, if Arkansas wins an SEC game,what food will Brett Bilema eat off of his wife?
26:10I'm going to guess chili.Just ladle it right on there.It's turkey chili though, because he's trying to eat right.Well, you know, it's...In what universe is Brett Bilema saying it right?I'm convinced he wears those giant tent coats on the sidelinebecause that's its method of losing weight.Sweat it off?
26:34Yeah, I think he's one of those guys who's, like, entire workout regimen is centered around sweating, you know.So he's being, like, a high school wrestler.Yeah, he's probably got one of those machines that just jiggles fat, you know, with a belt.It's like, I'll lose three pounds at the end of every game. Must be working.Why are you, why are you chewing starbursts and spinning all day?Got to keep the jaw working.Gotta make weight.Got to make weight. Hold on. I'm going to wrap myself in this trash bag.
27:04Now you've turned him into Missy Elliott.Which, yeah, he is truly freaky, so I'm just going to accept that.Yeah, chili.The chili, that's his choice.It's turkey chili.Yeah, because it's, and it's just hot enough to make it a little erotic and not too hot enough to make it a medical situation.Well, we're also talking about a Wisconsin man here, so let's not overlook like baseball park nacho cheese.Oh, no, there's a lot of nach cheese in Chile.
27:32No, the cheese goes on top.It's sprinkled.Oh, okay.Okay. As long as chili includes everything that chili could possibly entail, I'm not good here.It could also be a marker because I suspect...A birthday cake.And Brett Bealem's house, several things might have chili poured on it.You're going to want to mark which one you're eating.
27:51That's my chili. That's my chili toothpaste. Don't use it.Exactly. I spilled chili on the rug, so to clean it, I just pour more chili on there.Hotter chili. Just hotter chili.To melt the old chili.And some beer. The bubbles sort of get it out of there.Those tiny dogs, all they eat is chili.Those dogs should be a lot bigger than they are.Well, I think they just eat like a teaspoon of chili per day.
28:16I'm glad we got Reader Mail off to a smashing start.Jason, your question.This one comes to us from our friend Burrito Bros. Shits, who says?That's his name.I know, but now I picture you're saying it like, right, Thompson.Burrito bros, shit.Which current NFL coach would make you most angry if he replaces must champ?Can't say Jack Del Rio.
28:43Personally, since I'm not a Florida fan, I'd say Chip Kelly,just because that would make it even less likely that the Falcons get him.But I'll turn this over to you guys.Jim Caldwell.Oh, the fury.Damn.That's so easy.It's so Jim Caldwell.
28:59Like, Jim Caldwell has ruined a pretty entertaining.Detroit Lions offense.Jim Caldwell with thedregs of Florida.My God. They'd punt onzero down. They would put ondowns that don't even exist yet.Punt on kickoffs.
29:18What are you doing?He feels the kickoff and he's punted it.Is he really the lion's head coach?Yeah.Somehow.To be fair, I had to do the same thingwhen I heard it.And somebody goes, yeah, well, they're three and one.
29:31And I'm like, not for long.That was also their out-of-conference record when he was going three in ten at weight.Yeah.You're like, three-and-one early.I'm feeling optimistic.Okay, buddy.You go ahead and do that.My answer for who would infuriate me the most, if, we're talking to currently employed head coach, Jeff Fisher.
29:54Yeah.God damn.That would be profoundly upsetting to me.That would make Ryan.That would make Ryan had been targeted for a while.Yeah.He was constantly like, maybe USU's going to hire Jeff Fisher.And I'm like, that's cool.
30:08Why don't you drink a big old glass of cancer?Yeah, that'd be great.Yeah, but Auburn thought about hiring Jeff Fisher instead of Gus Meals on.That's true.That's true, no.It's not too late.There was interest.My second on that would be if they hired, if they hired like some giant lump of awful like Tony Sparano.
30:28Oh, who is a head coach again.Thanks, Raiders.Ah, damn it.We only have so much time to use his name, though.What I understand.Going, going, going, going.Right.Ryan, your question?
30:45This question comes from Michael Wood.His question is, whose voice makes them sound dumbest?Will Mustchamp, Brady Hoke, or Paul Johnson?As someone who gets a lot of comments about his voiceand what it does and doesn't sound like,I'm going to say Brady HokebecauseWill Mustchamp and Paul Johnson
31:07don't necessarily have dumbvoices. They just saydumb oruncaring things. But BradyHoke couldread the same thingJason Red and Wright Thompson'svoice and you would think
31:23it was the dumbest thing you've ever heard.So we went Brady Hope doing rightThompson? Brady Hoke doing rightThompson reading the New Yorktimes.Oh, my face hurts.No, no, don't, no, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.You'll pull something.
31:37I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go Brady Hoke there too.I mean, Muschamp just sounds, he sounds like he's playing the character of Will Mustamp.I think he's in on the gag.And Paul Johnson doesn't sound dumb at all.He's, he's kind of transcends intelligence.Corn has tremendous puffs.Yeah, Hoke, um,Hoke is really
31:58by farthe other two aren't closebecause Paul Johnsonjust sounds meanRightLike his voice is just lacedWith a lack of concernFor all life
32:11InsectHumanPick an animalHe's probably downHe's probably down on microbesWhateverAnd he speaks with such confidenceIf you've ever listened to his radio show
32:22With West DurhamOn 790 The ZoneI don't think West Durham still does that show.But, I mean, if you ever hear him to speak, he speaks with such confidence,even if his team is like three and five in the ACC or whatever.There's no way that can come across as a lack of intelligence.Yeah, honestly, like, Paul Johnson is that, like, Marine Sergeant in World War I,who's like, there's an artillery inch three, like artillery shell three inches from his head,
32:49about to hit him, and he's like, we're going to get out of this.I got it.Steel's a fad.We're going to go back to World War I.wood for all our construction one day and you kind of believe him and not just because it would costyou seven million dollars to leave the submarine on your own but but brady hoke like even when hehas prep time god damn dude sounds like he has just been asked to do calculus well and alsothe things muschamp says that come across is dumb like i don't i don't speak italian you know
33:19of course you don't who does why would anyone i don't either i'd have a judge i never been to parisI haven't either.Take that town for now.Brady Hoke, it's like, I think brains belong in skulls usually.It's the lack of certainty.At least with Mouschamp, occasionally he'll say something where it's all to apparent he's just a football robot, right?Do you think Brady Hoke can tell a joke, like, all the way through that has a setup and a punchline and everything?No right now.
33:53It's a four-month-long joke.joke. It'shilarious. It's amazing. I'll seeif I can get him to tell a joke this weekend. How'sthat? When I go to Ann Arbor.Yay.Humble brag.Humble.
34:08That is extremely humble.That is a modest brag.That's so humble. I can't spot thebrag just yet. It'sgoing to, no, it's like theBrady Hope plan. It'll surfaceover two to three years.and it'll just merge
34:25we're in ourchrysalis stage right nowwe're going to emergeit's a dead butterflythat's the worst partabout having a bad coatis that you're likeoh this is the crystal stage
34:37and it comes outand it's just more chrysalisthat's deadit's just a mothjust a horriblehorrible mothstole your clothesI'm going to go
34:50to my questionfrom DavidHutchins, at Thabit Hutchins on Twitter, is Larry Blakeneyresigning to take the Michigan job? Yes, yes.You can't prove he isn't. He is quite seasoned, a thing theyappreciate up there. Literally seasoned. He is coveredin Lowry's salt. There are some obstacles. For those of youwho don't know, by the way, Troy is, yes, an FBS program.
35:17It's like Shadow Auburn. It's just down the road from Auburn,like 15 miles or something.It's not even that far.It's basically Auburn.It's on the campus.It's like, yeah, it's like Aldi Auburn.It's just your knockoff brand Auburn.And Larry Blightney was their longtime coach,
35:34second longest tenured coach, I believe, behind Frank Beamer.And he's retiring at the end of the seasonbecause boosters want him out.And they haven't had a winning season since, I believe, 2011.And he's very fond.I think the Michigan job could be a good spot for him.Unfortunately, there is one thing.He's very fond of, he's overly generous, particularly when it comes to signing people to scholarships.
36:01Oh, yes, yes.He's the one that outdid the SEC with his generosity a few years ago.Like 300 people in a recruiting class.He's just signing entire battalions.Just pulling over a cruise ship signing all of them.I think this makes him perfect for Michigan.Well, they do need some play.players. Larry Blakeney will find him, dang it.
36:25Literally, lots of players.Lots of players. If one doesn't work, you'd just go get another.I like the extreme implication that the Big TenHonor Code is signing one player for season,finding the ideal Michigan man and signing him.And then you've got a player.I've had the same primary care physician for 30 years,and he's been dead for 10.
36:50What a relationship.A chicken man catches a cold with honor.Well, they don't caught one for a few years, huh?Ain't got rid of it yet, huh?That old Brady Hokulitis.I made that up myself.Here was your son.It ain't a real disease.
37:12That's a hell of a blue-collar comedy drop right there.Finally.You didn't even go top shelf with the Ron White.No.No, that's the well drinks.Ooh, man, right to the Foxworthy, straight out of the bottle.Damn.Jason, I believe you have one more question.
37:32Yes.This is also a Florida question.This comes to us from Al Hex Gould.Oh, I guess that's the Halloween thing they do.Everybody changes their Twitter names to Halloween stuff.Alex Gould 17 on Twitter says,What part of Florida produces the most Florida men?south central north or panhandle uh you guys are the experts here but i just want to weigh in real quick
37:55uh i believe it's the north i think the south you're getting into miamii territory central is all touristspanhandle is uh the part of florida that's actually really cool because it's kind of louisianaand then the north is uh the part you don't want to go tobrian um i will i mostly agree i think you're probably underselling central a little bitbecause outside of the super touristy areas,like you get Waldo,which just had to shut down its police department.Impressive.
38:26Because that's a thing that happens.And by the way,one of multiple police departmentsthat are either going to be shut downor under investigation right now.Yeah, you also have Polk Countyand everything that happens in Polk County.So I think maybe on a volume,
38:44yeah, you're going to get them mostly from North Florida,but per capita, Central Floridais going to give you some of ityour finer, more small batchFlorida men. I amactually going to go contraand I am going to defendthe South Florida
39:00contingent because if youmeet, I will not speakfor the transplant that makes upmuch of that population.If you gostrictly native, you comeacross people who honestly havethat they've missed whole chapters
39:16and basic human behavior.Like just there was a dude I knewfrom Fort Lauderdale who shotwho shot clay pigeonsoff of the roof of his record shopback when like he had a music shopand one day decided he wanted to shoot clay pigeonsand thought he could just do it.
39:34Like you wonder where libertarianismtakes root? South Floridabecause they've just never been taughtthat there's actually other peopleor a society that you just wouldn't do this.Is there? Can you prove there is?Not in South Florida, no. No.We agree that the panhandle is last on this list, right?
39:55For deep Florida man behavior?Floridaness?Yeah, because my second is actually like west central, like Tampa.Yeah.Yeah, like North Tampa, up around lutes.That's when you start getting some like deep Florida man behavior.But like the ultimate Florida man of all time is Mickey Monday, right?like Florida native who just decided
40:15that it was probably a better ideato run drugs and get a joband still to this day is just likeyeah I didn't do anything wrongso like to me the panhandle is likeit's like stupid fun behaviorwhereas the the quintessential Florida idealwe're looking for here is like
40:32it hurts your mindit's so stupid behavior likehow could anyone come up with that idealet's seehaving uh okay this is why i choose south florida there was i it's the only place where in a single day ihave seen a chemical truck crash turned right to avoid it okay like a chemical truck crash so large ithought a train derailed okay this is in martin county which is just north of palm beach rightum so we turn right to avoid it and i turn right and literally like like
41:1190 degrees off the wheel and 100 feetdown the road. Two cops havetheir guns out pulling over someone elsein an entirely unrelated incident.Yeah. Okay, with a shirtlessman who hasmisspelled tattoos in Gothic inklike Gothic font across his back.
41:27South Florida is definitely the mostlike a Grand Theft Auto game.They're just like, there can'tbe this much crime going on at once.Oh yes, there can.It is amassive multiplayerwhatever
41:41an MMO gamesit is the massivemultiplayer experiencethat never endsand unfortunatelyyou cannot switch charactersyou cannot log outyou cannot log off
41:52you absolutely canthat's what identity theft isthat's why it's so popularit's a human pay and spraythat's whatFlorida isit's a big human pay and spraywith deeply varying results
42:08resultsmay vary.Shit, now I'm the governor. How'd that happen?Hey, Rick Scott.Okay, due to time constraints, especially because wereally did, I think, a fantastic job on the floorto answer. Great job, y'all. Thanks.Thanks. Yeah, us. Let's go ahead and
42:33look at this week, which is not exactlylike the most challenging week in the schedule. Probably notyour week sixyou know masterpiece it's a it's an interim week but there are a fewinteresting games of note for instanceyou know Florida State at Syracuse just reallyFlorida State's strength of schedule just doubling downevery game in the ACC is a fight and this is a fight
43:01it's not a fair one it's between a very large man and a very tinypuppy named Syracuse that no one loves puppy is asleep the puppyThe puppies, listen, the puppy has worms.Listen, man, I know Jim Beham'shad a few down years, but that programis primed for a bounce back.Scott Schaefer is soclose to being a 90s SNL character.
43:22If you watch his press conference, it's,he's like this closeto being like if...I drive a Dodd Stratus.He's like somewhere between Chris Parleyand Will Ferrell. He's like...My favorite thing he says is he does the thing where he says,we're going to fight our ass off.
43:38Like the collective singular ass.We're going to fight our asses offWe're going to defendWe're going to fight our ass offHis team is one giant assAnd we're going to fightIt's VoltronWe're going to fight ass
43:49Voltron assAss fightHe's one of those guysHe doesn't actually haveYou know like answersHe's just likeYeah I don't have another strategySo we're just going to do this harder
44:02We're going to talk about assI read this in a coaching book eight years agoYeahOklahoma versus Texas, which, you know, that happens.Down in the swamp.That's some, yeah, Davo Swinney and his boys.And then the air raid down in the swamp, firing up the old pistol bone, the real Red River shootout.Yeah, you watch that game for the B-roll, and then you get to the actual important game in Texas, Baylor TCU.
44:33Yeah, which I don't know what to make of this just because of, you know, I don't think Baylor's.played anyone of note yet.So this could be trouble for Baylor.It's trouble in both directions.I think both teams have good offenses and good defenses.I think we have, you know,we believe Baylor has a better quarterback,but TCU probably has a better defense.
44:57Yeah, and also kind of, I think,like a pretty nasty little budding rivalrybetween the two schools, you know,in that power vacuum that Texas is sort ofleft the two of them. That'd be nice becausethey kind of don't have anybody elseother than, you know, like Texas playerstalk shit about them and then lose.
45:16This season also feels likeBryce Petty is the bank robberwho got shot and has just been hidinghis wound the whole time.Still like... Still has two broken bonesin his life. Yeah. So this might be the gamewhere he like opens his jacket.We're like, oh, that is a lot of blood.
45:32Yeah. And then like the horn frogshoots blood out of its eye. That'soh, there's already so much blood.It's probably because the only Baylor game that anyone in the country has watched all year was that one early in the season when, like, his back fell apart.And since then, we've just assumed, you know, he's probably fine.That doesn't sound that bad.He broke some bones I never heard of.How important could they be?
45:56To rub some Dr. Pepper on it.It'll be fine.Auburn at Mississippi State is our large-ish game in the SEC.I did, there's no reason for me, by the way, to just think that this is like notone of those games where I just, it comes down to whoever has the ball lastbecause it's Auburn and that's just the kind of game that they force you in every time.Even if you're Kansas State, you play everything pretty much perfectly against them,they'll still do that.
46:28Yeah, well, you'll, they'll find a way to make you just fuck things up,like 20-yard field goals and whatever like Kansas State did.Yeah, and Mississippi State.Still totally capable of that.I know they're really good right now.Still really...I think they haven't had the gamewhere they make a lot of mistakes yet.
46:47Yeah, they haven't really been challenged yet.Yeah.They also haven't had that game where they, you know,shoot themselves in the foot in the first or second quarterand then have to recover,which every team has.And they've also...You know what I just realized?
47:01Both the MSUs have fourth quarter disease.If Michigan State and Mississippi State played each other,the whole fourth quarter would just be likejust one fumbleNo, you take the ballIt would just be rugby, just one15 minute fumbleThere would only be one play in the fourth quarter
47:17Do do do do do doJust yackety sacks it all over the fieldThis is also the Game Day gameSo game day will have been in MississippiFor two straight weeksAnd as a friend of mine askedWho told Desmond Howard that?Who had the pleasure of being like
47:33Hey Des?Who had the break the name?Who had to break the newsThat they were going to spendTwo straight weeks in MississippiFuckOregon at UCLATwo one lost teams
47:49Pretty muchLike an early Pack 12 elimination gameDesperate for loveDesperate two young menDesperate for loveEach deeply insecure and flawed in their own wayOne young duckOne young bear
48:04One young trying to co-eexist and fighting over onestale Twixthat's these teams right hereprobably watching something elseI'm guessing yeahit is kind of amazing that week sevenone of those teams is completely
48:19out of the national picturejust because both were predicted todo big thingsvarious people had either one or the otherin the playoff and one of them's gone alreadyI think people were looking for a way out of UCLAjust because they had displayed some likeyou know they let them
48:36almost win a game on them.Hey, man, don't hang on Memphis.I'm not, hey, hey, hey, man, Justin Fuente might be y'all's next head coach.And just, just, just ask the, the chili fiends of Cincinnati how that went for them.Got their ass bored out by Memphis.I mean, Memphis ribs versus Cincinnati chili, I literally can't imagine a bigger blowout.That's the greatest food in the world versus the worst.in so many ways.
49:07Yeah, like farts.The game I will be at.It's a night game.And nobody made you do this.I have to do this for the ESBS fundraiser.This was like their home schedule.Oh, okay, that's right.Their home schedule is so bad.
49:26Do you remember this game last year?Like, this game was the dick-trippingest.maybe of all yearand these teams are bothpossibly worse than they wereyeahand I'll be thereat bright and early
49:45at 7 p.m.It does keep me from watchingLSU at Florida thoughso thank God for that.Yeah I'm not going to Ann Arborand I somehow won't watch it as welllook at me I'm next levelThe dick-trippiness factor, you know, last year this game was a mess,
50:04and that was with, like, a, you know, a former Tom Brady quarterback coach,highly accomplished offensive coordinator type running the show for Penn State.And now Penn State's offense is, uh, hey, we recruit really well.Hey, hey, hey, we got your guys.We're taking all your guys.Hey, we recruit.We recruit like hell, man.What do you got, what do you do schematically?
50:26We recruit.We recruit the hell out of that.We're handed the ball off.That's what we're doing.We'll get to the ball.Like the playbook is just like recruiting.It's the pyramid scheme offense.Get the players in.
50:42What are you going to do with them?Get more players.Now, we got more players.They get two more players.And each one against two more.You can only play 11 at a time.So you kind of have to line them up.But I don't have time to listen to this.
50:54I got a recruit.That's not what kids want to hear in the living room.And that's how your program gets investigated by.of the FBI.Woo!The, again.Oh!Old Miss at Texas A&M.
51:10Which I don't think this is a realdangerous game for Old Miff. It just doesn't feelOkay, how's this?In any other universe, it would feel really, reallydangerous. I justI really hope that's not what this old Miss teamis. There's onepart of it that feels very dangerous.
51:25There's Dr. Bo.Yeah, it's Dr. Bo plus atcollege station.Yeah, that's a big, mean, loudplace. Like, a teradactylcould fly away with one of hisarms, and the crowd would just cheer.Since we've already made, well,
51:42and then eat the tarotactyl.Then they'd put that oversome slow roasting mesquite coals.Just get sealedthe flavor in on that taradactal wing.If any schoolwould have a taradactal, by the way,Texas A& has a real good bet.
51:59Just one of thethose bats, they mutated, right,under the wings at Kyle Field.He just kept feeding him.Just kept feeding him brisket.Just kept growing, you know.Sometimes you recruit a bat and you get aterradactyl. Sometimes you get a tied end and he becomes an
52:13offensive linemen.And the best part is that taradactyl would be a regent.He'd be a regent.He'd be a fascist.He'd be like, health care.Oh, yeah, taradactyls are dicks.Yeah, teratatiels.Let's see.
52:28we've gotby the waymy last note on that is thatlikeBo Wallace didn't throwany picks against Alabamathey're like fartshe's just been holding them in
52:38he's just going to throwtwo or three against A&MI think maybe he took a cleanseagainst Boise Stateand that was whatthat rush of three of them wasI think he's all cleaned outyou think a Mississippi resident
52:48took a cleanseyeah justlet's move onColeslawthe Mississippi cleanseis justEating a lot of mayonnaise equals law.It's got vegetables in it.
53:02That's my ruffage right there.That in Flaming Hot Cheetos.I put some river rock in it, so it really cleans me out.USC at Arizona.Gross.Dangerous game for Arizona, by the way.What a hilarious thing to say.It's just game for Arizona playing USC.
53:20Yep.They just lost to the half a quarter of Arizona State.I slept through the first six weeks.What happened that produced that sentence?Hello, Rip Van Winkle.Welcome to a horrifying new reality.I mean, I think every game's going to be dangerous for Arizonabecause, let's face it, they are not the number 10 team in the country.
53:41I'm about to go on another cow rant because Cal's four and one.They might be.That's how bad this year is.That's how inconsistent everyone is.By the way, Rip Van Winkle, one thing that always disturbed me,what kind of jacked up country was Americawhen you could sleep out in the woods and be like a creepy bearded old man?and nobody did anything.
53:59They just stepped over you.No, you don't,that was back when everyone in Americawas a threat to kill you.So if somebody was sleeping,you didn't wake them up.Yeah, you were 1% safer.That was one fewer person
54:12who could gut you.But like Rip Van Winkle leads me to believethat 19th century America,or actually 18th century America,was just woods filled with creepy old menwith beards.Like, just,yeah.
54:24Okay.That is what, that's,that's why they were able,the Dutch were able to buy New Yorkfor so cheap. They were likeyeah, it's full of old mensleeping in the woods. We don't want it.Sounds like you've thought this through. Yeah.
54:38Speaking of creepy old men with beardsin the woods, Alabama plays at Arkansaswhich is, I thinktalking of dangerous games andominous noise. This won'tbe fun for Alabama at all. No.For anybody.No, no. This would be fun for just
54:56grinning Brett B. Lamont watching.Watching stuff break.How many passes will be thrown in this game?I want a prediction from both of you.Well, Bama's going to screw that up.Yeah, okay, that's fine.But, like...They'll screw up the magnificent wonder.
55:13You're also presuming that Nick Saban isn't pissedand isn't like, yeah, sorry, Lane.I'm shut it down.With Lynn Kiffin on an actual leash?Yeah, yeah.Okay.I'll go 48 with 38 of.them by Alabama.
55:29Okay.I'm going to go 54 with, I think there's going to be, I'll go 3420.I think Arkansas passes 20 times.Wow, letting it loose.Letting it loose.Let the thing fly.A couple little rollouts, because they'll come out, pass them a little bit,loosen them up, and then they'll just drop the hammer.
55:47Okay.All right.Okay, I like that.That's pass to set up the run.That's the Arkansas way.That's, you know what?You get the, you get the box.score formalities out of the way so that you can actually recruit a quarterback but then you get to
56:02the good stuff yeah we got a balanced offense we just throw it 20 times yeah come away for uslook at this you'll get to throw the ball 20 times a game all at oncei hope bret be able to like recruits quarterbacks like most people recruit punterslike that's like oh do you want a scholarship yeah well that's what he did at wisconsinyou just waited somebody to get booted and then he'd go bring him on in the best player he had atWisconsin was Russell Wilson, who was like a, you know, converted baseball player.Who disappointed Tom O'Brien?Bilemoe was basically everybody's rebound coach.
56:39I'm so hurt.All you do is just wait.Who would recruit a quarterback?I mean, if you look at the five-star quarterbacks from any year of the past 10 years, half of them transfer.Just wait.Brett Bilemo just waiting for like a flat screen to fall off the back of a truck.You know who was recruited, Jeff Driscoll.Oh, passionately.
57:01There you go.You know who transferred like three really good Florida quarterbacks to the ACC?And Englemore.It's so simple.Never recruit anyone.The message is very simple.Don't try, kids.Don't ever try.
57:18Just sit and wait.Just go to goodwill, get you a nice, slightly used quarterback.I found a Russell Wilson in the Dumbull.He has some puk on him, but he's only $7.That's why they make soap.And by that I mean chili.Chili.
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