Shutdown Fullcast - ShutdownFullcast3.2

Episode Date: May 13, 2015

This week's Shutdown Fullcast covers a veritable panoply of important topics including ACTUAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL. The menu includes: --A super important Bobby Bowden imitation which is totally not Foghorn Leghorn --We review the starting quarterbacks for three conferences, and in turn reveal our total ignorance of who's actually starting at any position for any team at this point in the year. --No really, go through the ACC and even try to know what you're talking about after you name "Deshaun Watson." --A discussion of what decade you'd rather live in that results in Ryan saying: "Which is probably why I'm so sexual." --The choosing of which game in 2015 will result in a 0-0 tie going into overtime. (Hi, Alabama/LSU.) --Us calling Iowa/Iowa State "El Assico," which we repeat because that is the proper name for the game and we want everyone to know it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown forecast, our second edition of the 2015 season, which started the minute we started the shutdown fullcast 2015 podcast season. So remember, college football has already started. Congratulations. Even though we are formally past the solstice, we are formally past the halfway mark, which we passed this past week between football and no football. So on the downslope towards college football's beginnings, I am Spencer Hall editorial director of SBNation.com and founder, Every Day, should be Saturday.com, joining me from beautiful Brooklyn, New York City. That's me.

This is Ryan Nami. On the downslope, by the way, it would be a really good name for, like, an album by the Wallflowers. Yeah, but that implies, like, If there's a good name for an album by the Wallflowers, that implies that there is a good album by the Wallflowers. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just name, just name.

Also, the Wallflowers are Dylan's best work. Ooh. Man, Faisleying down the napalm in the first two and a half minutes, but you're right. Piphon right there. But you're right, Bob Dylan is trash. I don't know who that is. It's absolute garbage. Basura.

He's like John Popper, but he can't sing. I mean, he's got some good album titles. He's got great album titles. And, man, he really does a great hobo imitation. No, that's also John Popper that you're thinking of. Oh, man. Harmonica Belt. John Popper, that's a hobo who finds his food.

He takes the milk and honey route every time. King Hobo. King of all hobos, John Popper. Guys, I broke into the cheese rail car. again Listen, they just let him in out of respect That's great We went off the rails on a John Popper

Bob Dylan sucks tangent And ended up with him eating a pile of cheese In the first three minutes of the podcast Joining us from Kennesaw, Georgia Kennesaw is your proper address, correct? Yes, sir Yeah, that'd be Jason Kirk, College Football Editor at SB Nation.

What's that happening? Tonight. we have a lot to discuss first of all that's not true no it really is we have an unusual amount of material like three things happen this week

all right let's burn through them as quickly as possible 55 minutes blazing 55 minutes to cover three topics we have to discuss Bobby Bowden

who did have some things to say about James Winston he said things about James Winston before. And I should make it clear that Bobby Bowden, I believe he coached Florida State at one point, correct? Was he like... You're talking about the former West Virginia coach, right?

Yeah, I mean, I don't know he coached there. This is one of... I think he was one of Jeff's cousins, assistants, something? Maybe. I mean, Jeff was running the team, let's be honest. He's a part of the Terry Bowden tree. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, see.

relation to uh in relation to let's see there's jeff there's terry and i think that's all the bowdens don't think there's another one uh brandzino branzino bowden brandzino bowden yeah man i love the source so good gave himself five mics if you followed that all the way down the wormhole that's about a three to four five star reference there so i'm sorry i should stop talking this week i'm ruining everything pretty quickly I appreciate that, though. You're just, you're the, you are the corrupt builder who takes state money to put five off-ramps on every single highway of meaning. And I appreciate that.

But the exact quote, we should say this, this was on the Paul Feinbaum show. And yes, Paul Feinbaum is going to phrase things the way he would like to phrase them generally to make them as inflammatory as possible. But, and I quote, Paul Feinbaum. I'm going to attempt to do a Paul Feinbaum here I'm going to try James Winston many people thought he was an embarrassment

to your great university of Florida State he won the He Heisman Won a national championship He was the number one player Chosen in the NFL draft But controversy never seemed to leave him

I can't do this anymore I feel like you're doing like Ben Franklin Yeah it was very It was veering a little bit like, I own this factory. You get out of here. I think you have to sort of, like, it's about the mouth shape. You have to sort of make a mouth shape like you're like a sneering, like, duck or something. Included on the day, he was.

No, it's not in my soul. Get like Heath Ledger Dark Knight with it. It was sitting there in Bessemer, Alabama. No. That's much closer. I just start doing Tom Waits. What are your? thoughts on

James Winston. Man, Paul Klanbaum is so damn good at his job. Because he sets up this whole thing, a bunch of like sort of like either insensitive or quasi-racist Alabama fans listening, right? And he

asked Bobby Bowden, what are your thoughts on James Winston? He's so good at his job. There is no way this question can go wrong. So, So this is what Bowden said. And I'll read it in what is actually Bobby Bowden's voice. I think it's a consensus among Florida State fans and boosters that he was an embarrassing.

And a lot of ways to the university, I'll say, I say. He won a lot of ball games, probably one of the best football players that ever attended Florida State. But he hurt himself on the field. The good news is that he's young enough to get over that. You know it? And he's got to do that. But he just can't make these junior high decisions that he made. While he was in college, go-ho, go-ho, go-ho, go-ho.

Wow. Yeah, that was pretty good. Wow. Thanks for joining us, Coach. Please go. You're welcome. You're welcome. Go home now, Coach.

I have to go find a lovely hen to spend the winter with. I have failed to make plans for my job. Yet again, a gentleman is out of doors in the most inclement of conditions. Good Lord. Yeah. So, so Paul. find a problem asking a question that can't go wrong you can't go wrong asking some old jerk a question about james winson and you know what and you know what fs u twitter they had them knives

ready it was a good day oh man they got to carving like that they're to carving two directions man yeah fsu twitter is like a velociraptor because you are alive when they start to eat you it was not only did you have immediately like shut up bobby dang it bobby why'd bobby run his mouth again you had that you know like someone put a blanket over bobby so he can't see he'll fall asleep you had that and then you also have like a parrot bobby doesn't have object permanence it's bedtime bobby you put the blanket over bobby's cage and it's my god everything just there give me a bell it's a great tribulation You had that, and then seconds later you had,

oh, Bobby was misquoted. Sure he's an ass, but Paul Feinbaum twisted his words. And, like, nah. Like, the tweet that went out was an exact quote. No, now here. And, like, sure, he could have added, you know, the good news is, blah, blah, blah, but it's not an unfair quote.

The tweet that Paul Feinbaum intern or whatever sent out, it pretty accurately captured the statement. So I have a hypothetical. Is FSU Twitter so adept and prepared and skilled at defending James Winston that if James Winston said something bad about himself, they would attack him for it? Could FSU God himself create a media bias so praise of FSU that FSU Twitter would not be outraged? I know how it ends, and you know what it is? It's going to end with an insult to Miami. That's how this ends.

I don't know how, but it's somehow going to end with a slam of the Miami Hurricanes football program. Yeah, that's sort of the peaceful conclusion to any conflict. Right. That's how it runs downhill and finally disappears. When you divide by zero, it might destroy the universe, but eventually it runs out of material, and the net result is Al Golden sucks. Gator blocking gaiter. Next that you know, Tim Brewster,

There's nude on your front lawn talking shit about the you. Again. Again. That man's a tenacious recruiter. He just takes off his clothes. Honey, call the Homeowners Association. We've got to do something about this. You're not going to get anything objective when it comes to Bowden.

I've never liked him. My mom met him and thought he was like the most sexist pig she'd ever met in her life. And my mom is not the sort of person who's particularly sensitive about it. those things at all, but thought Bowden was just a sexist pig. So you're not going to get anything fair for me out of it. The trick he pulled here is the oldest church biddy, old southern, like, bullshit ever. And it's this. It's when he says, by the way, as somebody who still gets paid $250,000 a year to raise money for Florida State, still, he manages to sandwich this in.

it's the consensus among Florida State fans and boosters that he was an embarrassment in a lot of ways some people say he's an embarrassment yeah did I say that no well not I did months ago basically but everyone forgot about that yeah no this is this is this is this is the most cheap like second hand underhanded crap ever for him to say that I decline My cousins saw James Winston not returning a shopping card at Target. FSU fans and boosters declare, one don't declare. One might assume, in Paris, a gentleman would naturally assume this. Like, yeah, that's, that's yet.

It from me to imply, however. However. However. That's getting into like the Auburn accent. Yeah, you don't, yeah, exactly. You're, you're, you're, you're edging over into Vince Dooley territory right there. Oh, Mr. Dooley would never pull such a, such a stunt. Oh, oh, listen, Vince Dooley's got church bitty tricks that says, scurrilous.

It's just the most, like, Vince Dooley would probably, like, raise an eyebrow, and you'd go, what a cutting remark. My God. That's a whole Dooley family trait right there. Except, except for Mama Dooley, who, Barbara Dooley, maybe the most quotable person in SEC history. But I digress. This is a conversation that I, once I entered this conversation, I wanted no part of any side. It was a completely unsavory, like, this is a Bobby Bowden versus FSU Twitter versus James Winston.

There's no side you can take here. Posted by Paul Feinbaum. This is that thing where you put a bunch of rats in a pit and they all slowly eat each other. And then Jimbo takes the last one standing, and he gets him drafted 8th the next year. Damn it, Bengals, why'd you take Giant Rat from Florida State? Well, their offense is really hard. Yeah, he plays it in a possibly complex offense that doesn't run the ball ever. So I guess we have to take him.

It's pro-style. They got to play acid Tetris, not normal Tetris at Florida State. So those guys are real smart. Jimbo's running Dr. Mario, while everyone else is just running basic Tetris. Yeah, it's, man, there are so many unnecessary challenges added to that offense. That's my favorite thing. I don't have a side FSU, the Winston Marriota debate that went on for like the 18 months or so between the season. It's not over.

I'm just referring to the span between the season and the draft, the three or four years, however long that was. Yeah, it was three. The thing that comes up is, oh, sure, James threw a lot of picks. That's because he plays in such a hard offense. You know, at some point, why not switch to an easy offense? I'm just an idiot. I don't know anything, but I just think, why not switch to an easier offense? Yeah, dirt cutter of the bucks saying this about James coming into their system.

Well, Jimbo installs more than we do. And the Buffalo Bill said the same thing about E.J. Manuel. That should not make you feel great if you're a Bucks fan. Be like, wait, hold on. We're doing what? y'all got a college style offense i got i got the bucks winning the ac c coastal this year yeah that's as good a pick as any in my opinion i think we've more than exhausted any possible discussion any comfortable discussion we want to have i'll just enter a room with paul fine bomb james winston fissue twitter and bobby bowden

and just go to a different party for for instance It occurred to me this week that none of us really know who's starting anywhere because... I hate that you came up with this game. It's so rude. It's a very rude. This is an extraordinarily rude game. Well, we don't know why because Bill C hasn't written about these teams yet. Yeah, I'm not expected to know anything until Bill C writes about them. And then I will pass it off on local radio as if I came up with it. that's really the reason

that Bill C is employed where he is is so that we can read all of his previews and just regurgitate them that's it I hope one year he holds us hostage he's like hey motherfuckers I need $2 million or you're all going to sound like idiots

when you do Louisville radio can I talk you down to a $2,000 raise yes maybe correct the The question I have for you is this. None of us, we're going to do this an equal turn. But to give you an idea of how little we actually know going into the preseason,

a naked exposure of our ignorance is well overdue, and I think fitting, just so everyone will feel better. Because I have in front of me the starting quarterbacks for each team in the Southeastern Conference. Jason Kirk You have the starting quarterbacks Or projected starting quarterbacks For the Big 12, correct?

Yes, sir Okay And for some reason Because he's stupid Because I'm stupid So stupid So very stupid Ryan Nanny

Has the starting quarterbacks For the Atlantic Goes off ACC Oh you're for the ACC I have ACC bias. Okay, so you and seven other people have ACC bias, and we will save them for last because I believe they are the funniest.

All right. So let's go through. I know the answers. You two gentlemen, being of honor, have not looked in order to look better than you are. We're going to go through every single team, and you are going to tell me who the starting quarterback is. I'll start you off easy. the SEC West, Mississippi State.

Jack Prescott. Correct, Jason Kirk. Are you keeping score? Because I intend to win. No, no. Okay. Can someone out there please keep score? Please keep score for Jason.

Let us know how we do. Please rewind. Start over. So 15 hours later, Jason Kirk will be able to claim a meaningless victory, please. There's no meaningless victory. Remember those titans. not the Tennessee ones no no because that involves victory

well no one has ever remembering requires four knowledge no one's ever heard of them to be kidding oh man I think I think you mean the blue vols the left the left balls on Saturday on Saturday I support my

vols and then on Sunday I support the balls over to the left The Sunday Nash Valls. But yeah, you know what? I call them the Sunset Valls. The Valls Legends League team. The Shitty Ball. I support the shitty balls.

The old Valls home. All right, so that's one quarterback we have. We've made real progress. Great, okay. Number two, we're bouncing to the east. Tennessee. Josh Dobbs. Damn it.

Correct, correct. Josh Dobbs, aka Space Dobbs. Space Dobbs. Yeah. So that's it. We were two for two collectively. That's two for Jason Kirk. Oh, we're working together. Okay. That's fine. It's unclear. No, we can pool our points. That's totally fine. I'm a team player. Three, staying in the SEC East. Starting quarterback from Missouri.

Maddie Mock. Yep. Oh, man, one for Ryan Nandy. That is correct. Hooray, I contributed. Maddie Mock, who, by the way, threw 25 TDs last season and 13 interceptions. And was also, like, through below 60%, which given as horizontal as that passing game can be. Not particularly impressive. Doesn't matter, Missouri's probably going to win 10 games anyway.

They just do. Over in the West, let's go to Arkansas. Brandon Allen. Yep. There you go. That is correct. Brandon Allen, hopefully, a much improved Brandon Allen to take the field. Because if he's good, Arkansas is going to whip some ass.

Just straight up. All hog for 2015. Great ass. You're grace. Brandon Allen, he's got a great ass. Remember, if you're going to be in Arkansas, you have to have a great ass. Per Brett Bilema, not us. Five.

Let's see, we're looking in the West. the starter, projected starter for the Auburn Tigers. Something Johnson. Jeremy Johnson? Josh Johnson. There you go. It's not, yeah, that's something Johnson. Oh, something Johnson.

Jeremiah Johnson. It's going to be really hard not to call him that, isn't it? Jonas Johnson. Robert Redford is Auburn's starting quarterback. An amazing performance. Isn't that what they had for like a decade before Gus came back? That sounds right. Like, he could have worked.

Yeah, he could have, he could have Robert Redford? Hey, listen. You would barely even notice. Was he, was he any worse than Chris Todd? Heesh. She got real. Six, bouncing back to the east. We're pretty good so far.

And I really like this dude, actually. Kentucky, Kentucky's projected starter. Patrick Tolls. Correct, correct. Who I thought was like, maybe this is my, like, Kentucky, my Kentucky bias showing and my Kentucky bias being wow they have a competent quarterback

Wow they're going to beat Florida They probably should have so Yeah they should yeah should Should have would have buddy That's right Hey y'all you celebrate that streak man Hang on to that one That's a big deal

Wait listen we will take what we can't get a lot Family heirlooms That's Kentucky Family airlines don't have to be valuable conference program. Hey, listen, 38 and 1 last year. That's all you need to know about Kentucky. Oh, and 1 against Florida, am I right?

That is literally all you need to know about Kentucky. Do the math. Do the math. Let's see, which is a really fun thing to say when Florida and Kentucky fans are arguing, right? Y'all do the math. No, y'all do the math. No, y'all do it. You don't understand.

We went to Kentucky and Florida because we don't do the math. Can we get a Vandy fan? in here to do the math. Does it involve fraud? Then we can't do that math. It's just not done. So thus far, I think we're doing pretty well.

It's about to get a little bit shakier as we go down the list. Okay? Not quite yet. You got another couple of easy streets. Jason, how many more do you think you got in you? Because I think I only got two. Maybe three.

Yeah, well, if we each have two or three, we'll be pretty much done. All right. All right. Hit us, Spencer. Yeah, man. It's about to get real hard. Not yet, though. Number seven, SEC West, going to the University of Alabama Crimson Tide.

Well, it could be Jake Coker. I was going to say, Jacob Coker? Could be Everett Goulson. Yeah, I mean, that's our default answer. All right. Oh, we should have just said Everett Goalson for all these. Everett Goulson's the answer for all of them. We win.

Slick, nice. Count it. Next, on the ACC. There you go. Okay. So I will give you double credit for Jake Coker and or Everett Goulson. You can't just answer Evergolson for Evergolson for Evaldon. You've exhausted the answer.

Everdoulson ticket. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's right. We're taking him his game over. All right. Staying in the SEC West, Texas A&M. Do you know the starting quarterback for Texas A&M?

Well, it's a little up in the air, isn't it? Kyle Allen. There you go. That's our projected. The entrenched starter, but they also got a five-star coming in. I'm not sure if he's officially locked down the job. No, no, he is not. That is clear.

But our projected starter that we will give you credit for knowing is Kyle Allen. So, Jason Kirk on a rampage here. Just killing it. If you get this one, I'm actually going to feel bad for you. Number nine, going to the SEC East, way, way down in the SEC East. Who's the starting quarterback for Vanderbilt? No idea. I have no idea.

I think Philip Rivers' brother was there but left? I like that you both immediately surrendered. Well, it's a Commodore. Pat and Robinette. You know, Pat and Robinette, he was the opening day starter last year. However, the projected starter, projected starter for the moment, is Johnny McCrary. Okay, that's a new name. Sure.

Wouldn't have even known that was a helpful player. You could have thrown out any name at all. I will give you another name, too, which I guarantee you, is one of those guys who, you know, will win a bar bet in like maybe eight years, if people in bars remember who you is, but who they won't. 2014 potential starter for Vanderbilt. Wade Freebeck. You know what? Vanderbilt quarterback or character on Nashville would be a hard fucking game.

That's Wade Freebeck. He wrote Hits for Reba back in the day. Okay, so we missed Vanderbilt, and that's really nobody's fault, but Bandies. Number 10, going back to the SEC West, replacing a legend. Who's going to be starting for the old Miss Rebels? Chad Kellyn. Chad. Okay.

He could. Likely. Dude, dude, he's got a gun. What? You're going to tell him he's not? You're going to tell him he's not starting? He'll spray down this whole motherfucker. He said it.

You want to talk about entrenched. Motherfucker is literally entrenched. Entrenched in a damn bunker on the beach. The beaches of Oxford. And because he's a white dude in Mississippi, it'll be like, oh, he's just defending his civil liberties. He just loves his family. He just loves his family and his homestead. His homestead, it's that football field.

We respect what he's doing. We're going to get dudes out on the horseback with AR-15s. Are you there when Chad Kelly played the national anthem on his AK-47 before the Egg Bowl? It was magical. Yeah, it's on SoundCloud. Go check it out. It's amazing. You know, the projected starter, I am looking off of a Cheaton list provided to me by the internet.

Ryan Buchanan, Devonte Kincaid, fighting it out there. But Chad Kelly, I know we want Chad Kelly, so I'm going to give you credit for that. Thank you. I mean, those other guys, they're not Chad Kelly. They're not Chan Kelly, and they won't play the national anthem on AK-47. Ooh, okay. It's scary how plausible that scenario is. He won the last season of Idol.

It's kind of terrifying. Number 11. Oh, man. You know, this caught me by surprise because I thought I'd know it. I did not. Full disclosure before looking at it. I did not know this one. I did not know this one.

I did not know of Andy. Number 11. The University of Georgia. Oh, no, no idea. Well, is it Jacob Park? is that the guy Chris Chamler I will give you credit

for knowing someone on the depth chart because he is on the depth chart Jacob Park is on the depth chart In my defense we are not going to need to know the name of Georgia's quarterback they have Nick Chubb and like 18 other guys who look like Nick Chub and they bring back four offensive linements so I mean you could put whatever one of those

Vandy quarterbacks you made up back there and they'd be fine I don't know Brian Schottenheimer's their offensive coordinator This isn't going anywhere good. Well, he knows how to run the dang ball, don't he? Vandy transfer Quentin St. Paul. I think the UGA is actually going to have a successful quarterback via my rule that a quarterback's name has to work both forward and backward because their projected starter is Bryce Ramsey. Oh, yeah.

Ramsey Bryce. Ramsey Bryce makes just a much more terrifying. Yes, but Bryce Ramsey, manage more Georgia, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Jacob Park, I'm not favoring him as much because Park Jacob is, you know. That's more of a kicker's name. Yeah. It was a good TV show, though.

The number 12. Oh, man, Ryan. Oh, don't do this. Don't do it. Number 12 in the SEC East, the University of Florida. I'm assuming it's saying Will Greer. Correct. Right, let's just, yeah. All right, great. We're not going to talk about Florida.

Moving on. We're not going to debate that one. Moving on. It's very bad. The less said, the better. That's bad. Number 13. Who is the starting quarterback for Louisiana State University? Well, wouldn't we all like...

Anthony Jennings would probably be listed as the favorite. It's true. But I think Jeremiah Massoli's probably still got eligible over the years. Everett Galson. This gives... Now, you did get Anthony Jennings, who was the 2014 starter. However, the projected starter per A-alt.org.com. and I don't doubt them on anything.

So just to be clear, you've cited finebom and a.l.com on this podcast tonight. I've given up. I'm just waiting for the rest of the world to just join me. Brandon Harris. They have Brandon Harris. Yeah, that guy. All right. Who's probably got a bit more upside.

So naturally, having that much upside, let's give them to Cam Cameron. What can go wrong? What could go wrong? Finally, this is the one where... Now, Everett Golson is from this state. Can we say him for this one? No, you've already used your Evergolson coupon. I am sorry.

The only team we have not mentioned is South Carolina. So, you can't suggest the coach. He is out of eligibility. Yes, even under South Carolina, quote, law, unquote. He cannot play. So there are, I will tell you, there are three names and not a clue as to who is going to emerge among them. So in other words, in other words, Steve Spurr, here's the coach. It's almost certain one will start, be benched, come back, the third stringer will start randomly without ever having played.

So can we just say all, whoever they are? Who? Yeah, I'm going to need you to name one of them. That's not going to happen. Seriously, just throw a road flare in this bar. and see what catches fire. Just give me a shot. Now, I will tell you, my test indicates

that Connor Mitch is going to be the start. Oh, yeah. Because that Connor Mitch is going to be the starter because we have Connor Mitch, who backwards, he's Mitch Connor. That's the name. That's a great name. The other two in competition are Michael Scarnikia.

It doesn't work in reverse. And Perry Orth. no orth perry works in like a mountain west kind of way orth perry works if he's playing for utah state yeah yeah but not but not here orth perry orth perry in south carolina is one of two things he's a punter or he's a racist state representative or he's both he's a state representative that means orth is short for some like bible

name like orthannual or something ortho yeah orthodontist Ortholomew. Orthogonal. Serving his 25th term. So what will we get? Like 11? You know what?

I think I'm going to give you credit for 11. That is really good. That is really, really good. And that, of course, went way longer than I thought. So, Jason, let's run through the Big 12 right fast. All right, we're going to go real fast. And we're going to start at the top, all right? uh let's start with uh let's start with uh let's start with uh let's start with with with baler

man i don't have a clue i uh no i don't know wow set russell okay good for him yep and then we'll go to the other co-champian tc u trevonne boikin yeah um let's see let's see bat in 500 this will not last uh how about next let's go oklahoma oh uh oh ma'am That's, that's, that's... What a colossal act of the last year. Baker Mayfield. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the likely starter.

They've got a few options, but likely. Let's see here. Let's do... How about Kansas State? Nope. Not that it matters. Nope. Since whoever it is will be fine.

Converted tight end and future tight end. Yeah, converted whatever future all big 12. Daryl Gronkowski. A few names. that we could have thrown out would be Joe Hubaner, Jesse Ertz, and Alex Delton. I like Alex Delton. I'm a big fan. I'll find it.

I think Hubaner is the most Big 12. That sounds pretty Texas. That's definitely the most Kansas State. The Hubner Ranch. He's 37 and he's a successful small businessman. How about Iowa State? Well, I know that one. It's Sam B. Richardson.

Yeah, the thing with Iowa State always just guess Sam Richardson. I believe they have, still have several on their roster. Yeah, they're up to Sam. This is actually Sam Q Richardson. Sam Q. They're, they're, they're,

Sam, Double F. Richardson is where things are really going to turn. Mark 12. Sam Richardson, parenthetical Mountain Lion, OSX. Let's just get all the really depressing ones out of the way first. Sam Richardson, Age of Ultron. I'm really impressed right. You know the Big 12. I've like blanket on the Big 12.

I really, I think that's it. No, there's one more I can do. No, you got another one. Kansas. Let's go Kansas. No. Nope. No.

uh michael cummings probably would probably would have been the starter but he was injured while wearing a no contact jersey in the spring day um so i'm i'm not sure exactly what happened there i mean it was that laugh is so fucking evil it was it was awful but oh my god your bedside manner fucking sucks it's in your bones You need those All right, let's go Oklahoma State Oh Who's left?

I don't know who's left No, I'm O for the Big 12 That's far The name is Mason Rudolph No, yeah And Rudolph Mason He's gonna be awesome

He's a fine big 12 name Yeah How about Texas Tech also Baker Mayfield isn't he like a Wade Davis type sounded name

what's his they there was a Davis web was the yeah there we go Gibbs Webb they've gone through about nine

quarterbacks nine identical quarterbacks since Cliff took over who's yeah the latest is Patrick Mahomes May Holmes so homies

Patrick Mahometh Patrick Mahomey's I don't watch Texas Tech Games So I don't know how to say his name Let's hit West Virginia Also, no idea This guy's gonna be a lot of fun I'll give you that much

No, I'm gonna pass Skyler Howard The one who was He was John And celebrating up a storm Against Texas A&M in that Liberty Bowl Okay Skylar Howard, sure

So yeah And I believe that leaves us with Texas Oh swoops Yeah Tyrone Swoops or or or whatever Charlie Strong thinks he's called

Territ Sloops My man My man Functional strength He hasn't shot anybody My man Swoops or My man Mike Stoops

Gerard Is also in contention Sure I'll say you guys got Like five or six No, no, no. Yeah, I got one. Oh, man. That was a deplorable performance on my part.

You might have been more like four, but, hey, man, it's the big 12. They'll put up yards. We don't need to know their names. Y'all ready to run through the ACC? Fastest family. Hell yeah. All right. Yeah, let's do this. I'm just rapid fire. Clemson. Oh, shit. Deshawn.

Watson. Watson. Watson. Great. Miami. Brad Kaya. Great. Georgia Tech.

Justin Thomas. Oh, my God. Three for three. North Carolina. Three for four. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Hmm.

Pass. Yeah, likewise. Or don't pass. Marquise Williams. It's fun. NC State. Jacoby Brissette still? Yep, yep.

Still? Yeah. Still? Yeah. Still has a lot of voters. Is Jacoby Brisset are, is he our early leader for like the Ben Liered? ninth year senior award now that michael dyer's finally gone the the options are open yeah he's he's he's ready uh pittsburgh um um you throw into tyler something

throw into tyler boyd yeah yeah yeah yeah Tyler boyd uh is it a boytick oh yes it is oh bill oh wow florida state evergolson Goulson. Sean McGuire or Everglson. Correct. Louisville. Oh, Jesus. Pass.

Reggie Bonifan. Yeah, yeah. He was hurt last year. Virginia Tech. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Michael Brewer, are they going to try to him out again? It is Michael Brewer.

Michael Brewer? They're still doing that, huh? Duke. Anthony Boone is gone. So, no clue. I'm not even going to ask Spencer. Thomas Cirque is his name. Yeah, I'm out.

That sounds good. Syracuse. That is correct. Oh, yeah. Maniacal laughter. Starting quarterback for Syracuse. Starting quarterback for Syracuse is Jim Behan can develop talent for the NBA. com.

Fab Mello. No, it's Terrell Hunt. Sure. Sure, sure it is. Virginia. Oh, man. This is on the, no. I will tell you, I would wait for 30 minutes,

and in minute 31, I'd remember, and then I'd waste my entire life. All right, here's what we're going to do. I'm not going to announce who Virginia's quarterback is. The first person to tweet at. What? I'm not going to announce Virginia's certain. No, no, I'm not going to announce.

You've already replaced my question. I'm not going to answer this question. The first person to tweet it, the three of us, the name of Virginia's quarterback, gets blocked. Wow. Yep. Wake Forest.

Oh, no, no. Yeah. I pity the young man, whoever he is. John Wolford. And lastly, Boston College. Is that still another former Gator? I'm just going to say that's Jacoby Brissette. I'll just put him at two schools.

It's a really good guess. It's Darius Wade. Oh. But hey, he has eight career passes. attempts. That's as many as he's going to have this year. Yep. So I will say y'all got, you all got a good seven?

So we went 500 and ACC play. That's, that's, wow. We've done things today. And I'm serious. First person to tweet Virginia's quarterback at us blocked. You will carry that honor with you forever. Okay, deal. Yeah, because we're not going to unblock you.

I don't want to know that. I don't need that knowledge in my head. But you don't know who he is? No, we don't know. And we don't really need to know. It's for our own good. We don't need to know that. If he does something, it'll come up on the TV.

They'll put his name. A little Kiron underneath. Hopefully they'll spell it right. They won't. Won't even see it. I won't even see it. I've pre-blocked that knowledge. They're playing at 12 o'clock on ESPN 5.

So, no. We're literally not going to see it. I believe we can actually run through some reader questions right fast. I will go first. First is from a new ADSBSBS contributor. Oh, man, drop that bomb on him. Peter Berks. That would be you have a time machine and are forced to live the rest of your life in a different time period, which I chose at first.

the 1990s because ha ha I already know where all my stuff is but I'm going to go ahead I'm going to take it back I want to go to the 1890s because I think this was a very dangerous time to live and because people didn't know any better

it would have seemed fun as a kid you would have barely gone to school you would have been hardly supervised head injuries would have seemed routine it would have been it would have been way way fun until you turned 30 and died of tuberculosis but I'm going to go to the 18th

1990s. Just seemed like a wacky sort of, you know, pre-World War I freewheeling kind of, you know, a hobo-friendly time, if you will. So I'm going to go to the 1890s, even though I could die from like step it on a nail. Just so much soot. Just, you know what? You could just pee anywhere. And you did. Yeah. And you did. Yeah, that's a good. That's a good one. I'm going to go, I'm probably going to go like 1950s. because I feel like, I feel like nobody looked good or was like, hey, you know, look, we all, we all basically wear the same clothes. It was sort of like how Legos, when I was a kid, there were only like three kinds of Legos, so you couldn't really, you couldn't really mix it up too much. And I feel like, you know, you didn't, you didn't have to think about what you were wearing in the 50s. You're just like, yeah, I'm going to wear this white dress shirt that has short sleeves, and I have the same job as everybody else. and oh actually you know what i'm thinking of fallout i want to live in fallout fallout yeah whatever era fallout takes place in i want to live in fallout like all you had to do to really

kind of rebel or stand out in the 50s was say um i'm not i'm not going to wear this hat anymore um i don't want to wear this hat outside what that's outrageous i just wonder about like uh like times before before we were born like how did they not sweat they did they sweat it like fucking mad but it's not on their face they sweat everywhere but that's why you carried like eight handkerchiefs on oh yeah yeah else's you can duel well yeah yeah i mean duh exactly also you know you could wear your pants pretty much anywhere in the 50s you could cinch them up wherever you wanted to in your body there wasn't a waste a waste existed wherever you said it was you just walked up to the globe and you said there's the equator

no glass ceilings for pants the 50s the 50s also had that like post-war thing where we were all trying to be peaceful. So, like, I don't think, I don't think anybody got confrontational. I don't think anybody stepped to you if you messed with their shit. They'd be like, oh, man, the neighbor stole our car and be like, well, Donna, let's not, I don't want to make a fuss. He probably needed it for good reason. I don't know, though.

The 50s have a lot of, like, suck. I will also say that especially because the three people on this podcast are white. it would have been bad oh let's go back to the old days hold on mind you I just said the 1890s where you could pretty much like notice by the way might have been better

I mean it couldn't have been worse I chose to just I know I think it was worse I think everything was worse in the 1890s except this it was a lot easier to change your name and fake your death that's Damn. Advantage me.

Jason? Well, I'm still struggling with this one because it sounds like it's not you're starting at this point. It sounds like you're just living your entire existence within a specific time period. I'm sort of struggling with the wording here. I do feel like I wouldn't mind if I'd bump back my birth date about 10 years, started in the 70s. It sounds fun. I will tell you, as somebody born in the 70s, oh, it was cool. like you know there really things things weren't safe at all things weren't safe at all how many years

of the 70s did you get uh i was born in 1976 so i got four good years in the 70s but really like the 70s lasted until 1983 or so you know you don't really shake off a decade yeah you know do you know the real advantage of being a 70s baby though right in in modern times is that there are almost no embarrassing pictures of you like the rest of us have embarrassing pictures of middle school and high school but you you just don't have them you basically don't exist yeah it's great i love it i another great thing about the 70s is that your parents ended up kind of listening to music that maybe people who were raised in the 80s didn't right so they listen to some really like sleazy stuff on vinyl right like they listen to a lot of music you only listen to if you did drugs

or your friends who did drugs told you what was cool yeah right we listened to a lot of tony Rexton in my house, so... Well, so... Which is probably why I'm so sexual. Yeah, that is... I'm just gonna loop that quote.

Spencer, what is your ringtone? You'll be shocked. It was cool, though, because we got like, my grandparents, you know, and my parents would let me ride pretty much anywhere in a car as long as it wasn't external. Like, I think they when they were young... Yeah, when they were... Yeah. When they were...

were young they could ride on the hood and and i couldn't do that but i could ride like they would let me ride like on the front seat without a seatbelt like in the death seat around until at least the mid 80s my grandma had a gigantic oldsmobile that i could just roll around in the back of and no one cared yeah i mean that was that was fairly awesome additionally like you know pretty much anything that had to do with safety didn't happen to like the mid 80s like remember in the 70s that's when they just decided as a nation when we decided oh, cars probably shouldn't explode

like that was it took a while for them to get that straight Yeah have you ever noticed that Cars uh they explode I am I am against cars exploding I am mixed I have mixed feelings Yeah I got I got to say

I'm listening to all sides I got to I got to hear both sides When it comes to cars explode So that would be my answer What is your question, Ryan? My question comes from Matthew Whitrock. His question, which matchup next year is most likely to go to overtime, Tide Zero, zero. Of course, the Wake Virginia Tech classic.

Yeah, I looked at the schedule, and I'm just going to throw us right on the fire. It's Florida Vanderbilt. It's Florida Vanderbilt because Florida, you know, going through some changes. Vanderbilt dealing with some existing change. And apparently, Florida lost all its talent from last year's juggernaut to the NFL. So that's your zero-zero game. And you should not watch it because you'll be a bad person. I'm sticking with Wake Forest who is not playing Virginia Tech this year.

But right out of the gates, they got the Elon Phoenix coming to town. It's got zero-zero written all over it. Man, you've been hating on Elon for way too long. Hey, man, they're going to hold the deeks to zero. Elon's going to put up a solid eight points in that game. an ader? Eighth-nothing, you're saying? Yep.

I'm actually going to, I'm going to take this back. We're going to go. Way back. Yeah, way back. We're going to go to an old-school zero-zero classic. And that would be going over to the SEC West. I'm feeling like Alabama, LSU could be zero-zero. Going into over time.

Always on the table. And, of course, with both fan bases, you know what, LSU wouldn't be happy about it. They'll be just apoplectic. Alabama, they'll be like, you know what? That's good. This has set us up real well for overtime. This is, I like what's going on here. You know what else is due for zero-zero-over-time matchup?

Iowa-Ira State. Yeah. Oh, man. El-A-A-Cico. El-Azico! That's one that always ends like 23 to 19. Always. That's a weird score in classic.

It's the prime number's classic. They always end up with some kind of prime number. 1711. How did you do that? I just want to divide by two. Not on purpose. System does not recognize two. You're like, wow, it's the only game that makes a really great password.

It's all prime numbers. It cannot be hacked. You can't hack this game and why would you want to? The unhackable ASICO! Unhackable ASICO! On Hackapalasico, brought to you by... Ah, shit, what's an Iowa... Goodfoot!

Brought to you by high school wrestling. Rucking High School Wrestling, the single largest industry in Iowa. And Carl's Jr. That's just a man and his son. Ryan? I already asked my question. Okay, so Jason. My question comes to us from Chris Sauer on Twitter, C.L. Sour. Your team has to go six and six next year, no better or worse.

Which QB coach combo from last five years do you choose? So I feel like the coach most likely to bring us to exactly 6 and 6 is Randy Edsel. His career record is 94 and 100, which is pretty darn close. His bowl's record is 3 and 4. So far at Maryland is 6 and 6-ish every year. And even his one glory year at Yukon when they went to the Fiesta Bowl was still only 8 and 5. and I think if he gets too far above that 500 mark that's when like nine quarterbacks get injured

and then at quarterback I'm going to BJ Daniels was at USF for like five years and they finished basically 500 over those five years so that's my combo it's going to be real hard to top that I would like Rick Newheisel and Gary Nova ooh that's by coastal action Two coasts of mediocrity

Damn, that is... I don't think I need to explain that. That's the kind of malaise that touches two oceans. I've poisoned the entire globe. I mean, damn, that's... The water supply is ruined. That's that sharknado of six and six. Mmm. Okay.

This is difficult, because you've taken a lot of really good answers off the table. Not Ron Brants. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got, I got, I got one for you. Okay. And it's going to be John Brantley from Florida. Yeah, very good.

Yeah. And my coach is going to be Skip Holtz. Yeah, see, it really doesn't hit you in the side. It's not the bat to the side of the kneecap until I give you a skip Holt. And then you're going, um, it's got. six and six in a miserable bull game written all over it. You know what I like about this Skip Holtz, John Brantley combo? They're starting six and one.

And you're like, hey, I think they got this thing rolling. I think this thing's rolling. And then they lose their last five games. Do worry that Skip Holtz is going to give you a 10 and 2 followed by a 2 and 10. And you say, oh, that's good enough. This is not what I ordered. No, no, it goes 10 and 2. It goes 7 and 5.

So, like, it's the most painful like, oh, maybe it's just a death. And then, then year three, the roof, the roof just gave in. If we're talking like over the course of five years, Skip Holtz is your guy, but one year, like, he's, is it, he's accurate, but not precise. Is that what it is? Right. I think so. The, the skip holds seven and five is like, I probably don't need to see the doctor about this. This mole hasn't changed shape.

Skipmoltz. All right, that's where we cut it. Just got it right there. Okay.