Shutdown Fullcast - Snow and/or Hurricane Day Mailbag

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

We have been beset by the gods (of weather this time); please adjust expectations for this episode accordinglyTitle game scene recap by JasonInternational sports news recap by SurberField trip to Boston instagramA dark turn from Spencer leads to a sensible way to make money onlineYour calls regarding dumb things you have gotten up to during inclement weatherNow through March 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to TransVisible Montana. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase BRAND-NEW BLUE SHARKS GEAR #EXCLUSIVEShutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme variant arranged and performed byDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz and his new show Podcasterino

Well, now we have leftovers. Yes. How did that happen? I don't know. It's crazy. We got leftovers. I have an excuse to just stay inside. You know, you're like, well, can't go outside.

I got to keep an eye on things here. I have perfected my dad's cornbread recipe, I think. I adapted it for muffins, so. Got that going. Winter. The unending siege. I have too many snacks and I've perfected cornbread. Oh, no.

To the shutdown. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. Coming from the icy waste. Winter noises. Tinkle, tinkle. Yeah, I'm not used to seeing these numbers on my phone. It is like Matt Gates' weather out here. See, that was like stalactites melting the tinkling.

Yeah. Yeah. So, Holly, what you just said, Matt Gatesweather, there's already someone who's writing out, I can't believe they didn't all fall apart screaming laughter. when it was like it's good joke so i'd want to acknowledge to that person holly made a good joke okay so don't yell at me about about not praising holly because holly made a good joke okay it's real yeah y'all it's it's fine i'm sniping it's fine yeah it's honestly it's fun to sneak one past your co-hosts it's a lot of fun i enjoy it very much jason excels at it uh there's always somebody mad at y'all

i'm very glad that everyone enjoys it you listen on headphones you're very smart i love you um I guess I don't appreciate the implication that if my co-hosts were bothering me, that I would not yell at them first. Immediately. Holly doesn't need your defense. It's like, like, y'all, I got this. I got this. I'm good. There was, this was, I feel like this, I feel like this was like six months ago, which means it was probably like four years ago.

But at some point, I said something like mild to Ryan. And there was this like three week long. Holly's bullying Ryan off the show. Which I've tried. He's not here. Speaking of which, he ain't here. Yeah, by the way, he's not here because... Jason barely escaped with his life.

Yeah. Yep. In the far north. With that story. We had like... I live in basically the Yukon. It's true. You can.

No, that one just sucked. It's all right. No, no. I was, I was, waiting for listeners just to like, just slap me with a, with a glove in honor of that. Wait, is there somebody else mad about this? I have missed it. I know. It's just every episode. Okay. It is. How dare you? Sir, how dare you?

It is. I find it also disorienting from people going from the shift of I have ruined the show to everyone else is ruining the show at me. I don't like it. Would you stop by the way in the while for somebody saying, sir, I'm from Atlanta. I will stop if somebody goes, hey, twin. Hey, address me by the terms in which I'm used to being addressed. If somebody said, sir, sir to me, I would start running. Sir with the hyphen, like we're about to start dueling. Yeah, like the... Sirrah. I think we have several DJs with Sir in their name, so perhaps they would assume I am a DJ, which common misconception.

Brian's not here. We killed him. Ryan is currently under... Slash the weather. Yeah, Ryan is currently... Ryan cannot get a biscuit. Literally under the weather. Oh, my God, he is.

Oh, you robbed him? Robbery is a strong term. Obtained. Obtained his fortune. Acquired, yes. Holding onto it for him. If you're familiar with Utsi, the Neolithic hunter,

frozen in ice and found in Switzerland. Incredibly. Right? That's Ryan right now. Ryan. Ryan is frozen. He will be thawed out. You know how Nashville is flat? So when a bunch of water falls on Nashville and it's the cold kind of water and it freezes, there's nowhere for it to go.

It just stays there. It's like filling a kitty pool. Yes. It just kind of hangs out. Seriously, Godfrey sent some pictures of all of the telephone poles that have just straight up snapped in their neighborhood. Nashville, what are y'all doing? It's like filling a kitty pool with jello booze. Whee-Dare-daven to get over here.

And putting wheels on it. Racist, racist wheels. I'm at Kid Rock's Chalupa Puddle. See, other shows might just tell you Ryan is out this week. No, we're building a universe here. Making sure you know exactly. We're giving Ryan a lot to answer for when he comes back. Ryan is currently armed with...

He's only got two kids. What's he got to worry about? He's currently armed. This is the thing. It's literally the thing. It's Nashville's version of the thing. Ryan's trapped in it. And in order to test who is housed secretly carrying the alien, which is actually a bachelorette, right?

So instead of this like tentacle green monster that comes out. Alien. Yeah, you turn into alien. Alien. Alien. Shooters. A-L-Y-E-N-E-I-G-H. I don't eat my fellow like Arctic.

Labmates instead. I just demand that they buy shooters. Is it ALY space A-N-N-E? Yeah. There we go. A-L-A-N. Alien. Just watching the chestburster come out.

Oh, good for her. Good for her. She's girl Boston. That looks real cute in her top. It does. The thing that I like whenever Ryan misses a show, because we all know Rain doesn't listen to the show, is that we can just say whatever we want. I also enjoy when I miss a show, then I'm like, well,

I don't listen to the show either. Therefore, there must be a whole fictional universe about me that I know nothing about. I don't know. It's just, I guess it's fun to have some sort of alternate persona out there. So you're welcome, Ryan. This puts us in a fun scenario specifically for this one because Jason was out. Ryan does not listen to the show, so he cannot verify, does not listen back to the show, so he cannot verify what was said, what Jason was out.

I cannot remember what was said when Jason was out. Spencer does not listen to the show either. Serber is the lone lighthouse keeper of where and when we all happen to. Like, seriously, if you, I didn't remember that Jason had missed a show until you said it yourself and I have no idea what was said in your absence. Sure. I mean, I'm sure it was all, I'm not going to say accurate. That would probably be. I bet we made it sound awesome.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. I'll go with that. Oh, no, wait. You were at the title game. It was fine. Yeah, sure. It was fine.

How was it? That was great. It was wonderful. It feels like it was 30 years ago at this point. It was. That's kind of how long the reign of the Indiana Hoosiers over college football has lasted, you know? It will last. Oh, yeah.

Another decade of Indiana dominance. Once you've seen Indiana win one national title, you've seen it all. There was a moment, like, standing on the field, like, took the shot, confetti in the background. Indiana Hoosier's National Champions. I'm looking at my phone like, that's not real. I literally just took the photo and I'm looking at it, like, that's gotta be AI.

That's my brain is telling me like, the video game screenshot. Slop. Yeah, like, what is this shit? They'll just put anything on the scoreboard. I watched the whole game and still, like, there was a moment literally like two hours ago. I saw a photo that I took at the game

and I'm like, that's not real. Like, it's just, I don't know, man. It's just never really gonna sink in that that happens. it does not make any sense and that that fucking rocks. And we have determined that Homefield Connor is still alive.

So we did a the one thing I do remember from the show is we did a home field ad read and we were kind of just like falling all over ourselves with sincerity like talking about how much we love this for our friends. And I think yesterday, which is Monday,

January 26th, Connor finally resurfsed as a full week after the title came was like, hey, I just listened to the show. So we have proof of life. I think that's acceptable, you know? Oh, yeah. No, I thought he

rebounded very quickly, if only only to sell more T-shirts. Miami was a lot of fun. Like, you know, walking along Miami Beach and one ear you're hearing Spanish and the other year you're hearing Midwestern, right? And like, sure, that's how it is for any

time of traveling fan bases in town. But Indiana fucking traveled-ass traveled. It wasn't just like, we're here. It's like, how the fuck are there so many of them here? They're like, they had most of the stadium and they had a whole contingent that wasn't in the, wasn't in the building during the game. So like, it very much was this feeling of like half of Miami is from the middle of nowhere. It really just slams at home, right? That they, they, they didn't do the, this wasn't a basketball championship, right? This wasn't a Cinderella basketball run. This wasn't like, oh, look at these little darlings.

lucky darlings up at the top. It was, hey, no, there's a brand new kaiju in town. Yeah, let's look at this freak shit. It was, these people have saved up a lot of money in their football budget. And let's be honest, a lot of money in their basketball budget as well, because they're not good at that sport anymore. This is their sport now.

Nebraska's the one who's good at that sport now, which is so much more fucked up than Indiana being good at football. But, like, there was so much sports fan money built up in these people. and they're just shitting it all over everything now. Nebraska fans, we said something nice about you and kept it moving. Hey, Nebraska basketball? Yeah. I will try not to, I will try not to.

There's another name they like more than that one. Like if you say Nebraska ball, they're like, no, it's cold this and it's not. Oh, damn it. I thought that was the one they liked. Okay, shit. Der Husker's Fear. The Brasketball is the better one. I don't know.

There's some other one that they're like, this one's more clever. And I'm like, no, no, it's not. It's D-Husker Spear. Congratulations. That's a husband. Don't. No, uh, it's, it's called corn, corn, corn, hoops. Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, couldn't, because you're putting it in the basket.

That's right. That's so much better than Nebraska. No, it's not. It's cornhole, literally. Yeah. Oh, that is pretty good. That is pretty good. There you go.

I take it back. I take it back. I think, by the way, a week for Connor is very respectable. If you are, if you are enjoying and or suffering through the last. after effects of a massive championship. I think the benchmark, the benchmark for a big win, right? Like if your team wins. The Florida fan here would know.

Well, listen. Did you guys know you did the Notre Dame season? I don't think we talked about that yet. Oh, yeah, you went four and eight. Yeah, we did. That's pretty bad. So Spencer, you can remember your team's last championship. No, I'm actually, I have to borrow from an entire other country

in order to come up with a proper measure for how long I think you can celebrate a major win, much less the championship. Well, you know, and Urban Meyer never had to go through the gauntlet of a college football playoff. That's right. That's right. Like, really. 08, 06, ain't shit. Ain't shit.

Boys get on that. The past is bad. It belongs in the dustbin, Indiana forever. I was going to say this is a diss to Florida, but I realize it might be a diss to Indiana, which is to say that Indiana won a national title without their wide receiver beating up position coach. But I think if Omar Cooper had ever decided to beat up a coach, that would have been fine and I support him. Indiana is so efficient. They never had to do that, right? Yeah. Like, yeah, they were like, yeah, of course my coach is cool. He helps me get better. I would have welcomed it,

but I can't criticize the outcome. The city of Dakar, when Senegal beat France in World Cup, not in like, not in like for a championship. I think they just beat them in group stage. The city of Dakar shut down for two days. I think that's perfectly acceptable, right? Spencer, is Dakar the Philly of Senegal or is Senegal the Philly of Africa? Wow. Will require further study because I just thought about it and my brain flipped

inside my skull. So identifying the Philly of Africa, I need further research required. Yeah. As in send me to all the candidates cities. It's Afcon time, baby. If any city has a claim, let me go to it.

Well, they might be, maybe it's there, maybe if I could widen the scope there, the Pennsylvania of Africa because if I recall correctly, their mascot is a lion? For, no, that's Cote d'Ivoire. No, no, Cote d'Avore's elephants. Cote d'Avore's elephants. Who has the lions? I think it's, I think it's, unfortunately, there's no way to know.

Yeah. Can we speculate. Afcon, though, we need more Afcon attitude in college football because Afcon, Afcon headlines, like people will say, oh, it's Conccaf, which is, you know, our division, right? But Concaf plays the craziest football. And I'm like, Afgon has things where they're like, prominent Mauritanian striker, thanks Satan after game winning goal. You know, like, whatever, whatever you want the furthest out headline to be,

it's always Afcon, right? Like, they're like, real ball. Real ball. 100%. It's like, like, fans eat chairs afterwards and display of might. And you're like, what? Real fucking ball. Yeah, real ball.

Afcon, I don't pay close enough attention to it, but every headline I've ever seen out of Afcon, I'm like, what the fuck? Y'all are playing real ball over there. We're just toying with this shit. Oh, overseas sports question for Serber. Serber, I know that you've told us this is not perhaps quite as uncommon and delightful as we would like to pretend, but it is the first that we or a lot of our readers who wrote

have heard about kangaroos interfering with an Australian cycling race. Can you, a kangaroo took out five riders? Yes, and the tour down under, that's our first pro stage race of the season as the calendar gets underway. It's now a race that all pro teams are required to attend, which kind of fucks things up for a few of them who are like, we're not going all the way. Like a massive cost floor? Like I know that cycling is not inexpensive, but isn't this like a massive cost floor? Yeah.

and they're having sponsorship troubles right now. So shout out to the UCI for saying, fuck you. But I wouldn't like to go to Australia, but like being required to go to Australia, that's a huge outlay. It's usually on the heels of training camps that can only happen in like tropical environments because everywhere else is cold as shit. As they try to get the season underway, it's fine. But the kangaroos took out, yeah, like five riders. Two of them have fractures and they're going to miss significant time. now and they're you know tour down under didn't let up there the next stage up

willonga hill which is like one of the famous cl climbs for the tour down under that they do every year they'd cancel it because of like high winds and the potential spread of wildfires oh so uh yeah tour down under always has some interesting caveats to it but yeah that's the first race of the season they have kangaroos that like the like in spain cattle is like the thing that always gets in the way of the race. Some like there's like a bunch of you. Yeah, they can't. They just kind of make you stop in the middle of the road and then farmers try to clear them out

the way and then you get through. And France, like goats are a normal occurrence. My favorite one year, a very fat Labrador retriever. Just a, I think it was a golden retriever. Yeah, dogs, just random things like that. Hey, buddy. That dog. It's like hanging out in the road.

You know, yeah. It's a very tiny. little rural lane. It's a mogul. And the dog was happy to see people. And the dog was like, hi. And I swear to God, I know exactly what kind of consistency this dog had because I don't know if you've ever had like a really fat golden retriever.

You pet it and you're like, dear God. This thing is made going in there. Yeah, this thing is made a cookie dough. Right. Just like, yeah. And that's what this dog was. If you look at the clip, the dog wanders out. And it's like, hi.

And this guy, no break. just goes, bam, right into it. And for a second, you're very concerned for the dog. And then you see that it is completely tacoed the wheel. The wheel went from being a perfect circle to being a figure eight. And the guy goes head over heels over the dog. And the dog shows no ill effects whatsoever. The dog's like, what happened?

Crazy. Wow. More people. Everyone looking at me. Oh, no. It starts to kind of slink to the side. Like, the dog kind of knows that it's fucked up, but has no idea how. I mean, the dog hadn't fucked up.

The wheel was fucked up, yeah. Cycling is the greatest sport for animal interaction with athlete and or spectator. Because, like, you get the rare appearance in baseball or football where, like, the cat or squirrel gets in the stadium. You get the cute interaction with the security guy trying to get him. Or, like, awesome college baseball guy, like, grabs raccoon by nape of neck and, like, carries out or something like that. But typically, it's, like, you know, uh, car. Race car hits bird kills bird or like golf ball hits bird. Groundhog.

Randy Johnson explodes bird, you know, like, but, but the cycling ones are always typically pretty fun. There's one in rally car. There's one in rally car in the, uh, the rally to Afrik, right? It's in like Kenya. And, uh, you can hear the driver, you know, and I think he's finished or something. Like it's a chatter and a patter that is not in English, right? And it's like, and they take a big turn and you see like a,

gazelle go across the fucking camera and you hear the most authentic scream these dudes don't scream they don't panic right they're flipping down the side of a mountain and you hear them going okay one second no the gazelle flies across and you could tell this is something that the scandinavian's brain has never seen in their life because you just hear him go perfectly acceptable reaction by all parties uh i think the gazelle was fine the car was not yeah i see a an emu, I think, interfere with one of these races because it's kind of, it's set up to where it's going to be, like the body is on body level with the cyclist, right? But head, much taller.

That's an animal in the realm of uncertainty, I think, for most people in risk assessment. No, that's kind of why I want to see what happens. Let's see how this goes. What do you do with a cow? I've been around a cow. I think I could properly gauge my odds there. You know, raccoon, most of the time I can properly gauge my odds when interacting with a raccoon. I'm at sea, brother.

No clue. We're going to do a cross-country bicycle race through this Kenyan Wildlife Preserve. We just need the tour of Colorado back, like, to introduce bears back to the equation. The fact that that race isn't happening right now is unfortunate because, I mean, the cool, the craziest, like, on a bike, animal action. animal interaction I've been told about is when my best friend uh cycled from Wilmington to Portland and when he was in the Rockies there was a fucking grizzly bear just chilling and he's like I saw it and then I never looked back and I three hours later there was no grizzly bear behind me anymore three frantic hours just like nope I'm going I'm not looking back

you were averaging 37 miles an hour for three hours how did you do that? I like this leverage the object permanence to eliminate fear like i can't see it it's fine yep it's gone what bear i mean what good is investigation gonna do you at that point i'm not really kidding i think that's a i think that's probably the best possible reaction i mean i have seen moose actually would be what i would be terrified of because i wouldn't even know it was there they're so fucking quiet yeah main cyclists call in tell us about Tell us about a time you got your shit rocked by a moose. Yeah. I love this.

Expanding the knowledge base of full cast listeners. Tell us about interactions with moose and Maine. Let me know. Folks, call in and tell us what's the largest animal you've ever inadvertently met. You know, Spencer, you were saying that a certain cities can shut down for two days after a championship and it's like fine and valid and good. Honestly, if the Patriots win the Super Bowl again and Boston shuts down for two days, days, it's like, cool, two days with no Boston. I think that, I think it's a blanket rule.

It's fine wherever. It's like, either we're like, awesome, they get to party for two days or awesome, we don't have to hear from them for two days. It is kind of like putting them in a little habit trail. Mm-hmm. It is, yeah. You're just going to put a little dome of natty ice over the city and letting them go nuts. I'll put some smokes at one end, donkeys at the other.

You can just go back and forth between them. Putting the note up on the car window. The dog is fine. the window is cracked. He has air conditioning. He's listening to his favorite music. Please do not break any of the windows to Boston. Drop.

Drop. Drop. Drop. Drop. Over and over and over. There's one song about us. Want to hear it? Did you guys see the dude from Dropkick Murphy's?

Ken from Dropkick Murphy's on Instagram this week. The dude stays 10 toes down. I didn't see it, a political thing? Very much so. Drop kick. Murphy's dude out there in a rally with a bunch of union folks and and labor advocates in Boston like calling for a general strike. And I love it when things like this happen because we're being asked to accept a lot of people on our side at the moment, the side of, you know, humanity that

we would perhaps not prefer to have a beer with and that's fine. But I like this one because Dropkick Murphy's have been down for this since forever. So there is no cringe in accepting going arm and arm with them. And it is also. serving to piss off some of the most annoying people you've ever met. Like, people who listen to band never know anything about bandstands. The thing that happens with Springsteen, the thing that happens with rage against the machine. But it's awesome because you get to watch this happen on Boston Instagram. And this guy's like, why dropkick movie's got to get political?

And then below him, there's 600 comments calling down and get like, I bet you're from fucking natural, pal. Damn. That's not the right accent. But you get like, there's all these extremely specific. There's comments about middle school. in here that are just like, man, I knew you were a freak ever since you went to Seward instead of Stanley or whatever our middle schools are called.

Like there's such specific niche grudges being aired out against this one man in his tire shop. Yeah. That's the thing about like Boston being such a tiny-ass town. They all know each other, I guess. I don't know. I've spent eight minutes there, but I assume that's how it works. Yeah, it's when they go to screenwriting school or podcasting school, the two main industries of Boston. Podcasting school or like, like, throwing or like throwing or, throwing wrenches at wall school

yeah punching drywall I made you to punch and drywall it's like yeah like it ended up the departed it's like oh who this this fancy asshole never went to throwing wrench's school

this this facking guy and DiCaprio is like I do know how to throw a wrench at a wall I do have the wrench's accent do you think sometimes the sun walks in to his home

somewhere in Boston and he looks at his father and goes, who's this guy? And the father's like, it's not going to do, son. You're from Boston. The first thing you're going to do is a guy from Boston is you've got to walk in and look at the first part of the room and go, who the fuck is this guy? Who the fuck is this guy? Who is he think he is? Go fuck your mother. You go, yeah, you go walk down the block. You go get me on Trump, get Murphy's mixed tape. I don't know.

The latest hot. The hot unreleased dropkick Murphy's. They got a new song about Boston. You give me that and a pack of smokes. And you walk back in here. And you tell me to fuck off like a man. Sorry, dad. Don't fucking say sorry to me, you asshole.

You walk in here and you slap me in the face. Everyone you know just died and you're not going to cry about it. Like a facking man. Now play some fucking horns. It was so great. Like I grew up two doors down from somebody who was from Boston. And every time somebody died, he'd be like, ah. It was like, that my neighbor from Chicago, best people in terms of death.

Because the guy from Boston would be like, ah. And the guy from Chicago would be like, yeah, he's fucking dead. How about that? So these were the wise men who raised. These are the wise man who raised. It takes a village. Like, I had uncles of different stripes raising me, and all of them saw death and we're like, what are you going to do?

Besides die. Which you should fucking love. I'm dead. It's great. Yeah. That's the drop kick, the drop kick, Murphys. really lapping the mighty, muddy, muddy boss tones in terms for, in terms of Boston political awareness.

They're from Boston? Yes. Boss tons. All right. I just got that. Okay. Yeah, you're right. Spencer knows a lot about Boston bands.

I know. Scott. It's, I think, Boston bands that go, but sometimes. She said not at all accusingly. No. Well. Jason, how many Christian ska bands were in your high school? Can you name off the top of your hands?

had attended my high school? Yeah. I think there was an effort to get one going from some at some point. I'm like, I will not unsupported. We had like no less than three competing ones at any one time. There was one that did a Battle of the Bands that, uh, they, they fucking robbed us, man. Like, I'm, I'm pissed about it more than like eight lifetimes later. The shitty fucking Skoban stole our battle of the bands.

But again, they were doing it for the Lord, as were we. So, uh, ultimately. all treasure laid up in heaven. I guess it probably says something about our high school that the best band in our high school was the ska band. I mean we were mostly like this was, we were mostly like a three six mafia high school like no limit records, that was our whole thing.

Like so we had just like endless like the shittiest worst rap battles you've ever heard. That was more my high school vibe. You're two on the beat. That's not real no limit rap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this sounds like this track costs more than $9. Get this shit out of my out of my headphones.

Production values couldn't be me. I think looking back, the problem we probably had, or the exacerbating factor we probably had, was we had a huge marching band. Like, I don't know how many, but I remember we had five school buses

just for band when we went to, like, away games. And that's just got to necessarily bleed over into, like, if you put, if you, like, expose kids to saxophones and trumpets, like,

they're going to, they're going to experiment, and it's going to go some places that you might not like. Yeah, our band is one of, one of our very few claims to fame along with producing pro wrestlers. So, like, there might have been more of a brass presence in rock bands than I was aware of.

But I was always at the midpoint between the mixed tape kids and the metalcore kids. So luckily, I wasn't infected by too much scoff at the time. Super, how about you? It was all hardcore. Panda Party, Helen Keller, forget about the star. A Kiss for Jersey. Wow. I don't have to know what any of these bands sound like to know what they sound like.

Yeah, you know what they all sound like. There was one more that is escaping me right now. But everybody basically wanted to be Beloved. So like there was... Because Beloved is from, like, very, very close to your area. They're like, yeah, closely related to this area. So we were like one part very hip-hop, one part, Norma Jean was our high school. Yeah, yeah. So like, I mean, it was all that for us. And then there was like a couple dudes who played in their dad's cover bands. I remember us. I remember like my band being the only when we played the young Democrats of Yag King County like music festival that we, it was all hardcore bands and like we were the only indie rock band. Which was a nice refreshing change of pace, I think, but like we were it. And then I don't think anybody else that was in bands and our school was doing anything other than hardcore.

at that time or like some it was either like hard true like like hardcore or it was like the fuse like warp tour uh yeah yeah see when you go to high school in florida turno bands everyone's just a dj yeah that that was my friend that's it are you in a band no no no i spit but like i'm i'm a i'm a i'm an entrepreneur kind of way right right right No, it was no. Not like I mix in my garage. Like, I am the LLC of me DJing Corp. Oh, ours was obnoxious in the other direction.

Like, it was like ninth graders learning to beat match. But they were good. Sure. They still are some of them. No, my, my bros are like, yeah, I've got, you know, I've got like 15 Carl Cox bootlegs and some shake weed. That's my incorporation. Yeah. We were like over in the corner, like having like fierce 15-year-old fights about chemical

brothers. Yeah, that's what high school in Florida was about that. There was like one band and I'm pretty sure there was just, if you want to know what Florida music scene was, it was this, 15 million less than Jake's. 15 million less than Jake. Yes. I'm pretty sure Oscar Isaac was in one of those bands. Yeah, he was in a Christian scobhan at one point.

Yes, he was. So we'll have to bring him on to. Yeah, I got his number. We'll just call him. Long time extended full cast universe member. Oscar Isaac. Oscar Isaac. He might have been at the same Christian music events that featured Katie Perry, of course,

who is a Christian musician who is dating the lead singer of Reliant K. Serber. I assume you were aware of this. Yeah, it seemed to. But yeah, I'll just keep stacking up those fun facts until someone drags me off of this trail. There was one scob fan. They were all at the school of music at UNCG, and they were called Corporate Fandango, and they were in.

Wow. They were nice guys. They were nice guys and the music was. Yeah. How do you do? Server, you're in a band. How do you go up to somebody

another band and be like, man, you know, it's been fun hanging out with you. And they're like, hey, if you listen to my tape and you're like, no. I just really respect what you guys are doing. I just do the same thing.

Great set, man. Fucking awesome. No, exactly. This is, I've been to a lot of crummy friends. You look, hey, like, hey, man, you guys were, you guys were having a blast up there. Yeah, great set. No one else was.

People don't even have to me. I'm positive. I'm sure people have done it to me, too. It's just, that's the best way to go about it. You're like, hey, man, did you love it? You look like you're having fun up there. People have absolutely done that to the full cast. Like, oh, y'all sound like you are having a great time.

You guys had so much energy. You guys really crack each other up. That's right. That's all that matters. Just looking up for number one. Who's having a good time, this guy? None of y'all. They have dropped off throughout the years, but there's people who've been mad.

I'm not trying to start a whole thing, but there are people who've been mad at us since like 2008 who are still here. And I'm like, at this point, at some point this says more about you. Yeah. I mean, we have a very small contingent of hate listeners, which I find, like, damn, y'all hate us. You'll have so much. If you're putting up with this shit and you don't like it, Woo, you hate us.

Yeah. I love it. That's a steady. That's commitment. You know, shouts out to the hate listeners. For your money, which is now our money. Yeah.

Like, there are things that are, I guess, you can hate them and you can, like, hate, endure them. And it doesn't ask a lot of you. It doesn't really tax you. But, like, we put y'all through some shit, man. So, like, thank you to our haters for sticking with us. Listen, I have an idea. I think we're going to give a break in the middle of, say, November of 2026. Just going to do a haters episode.

We'll just, we'll just unload. We'll just be like, okay, here, everybody's got haters. It's time to hate. Middle of November, huh? I'm just picking that number randomly. All right. Yeah. No, no reason.

Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. See what day of the week. Hopefully. It's on a Sunday. Oh, that's the holy day. That's the holy day. No, that means we can start. We don't have to wait.

till the middle of the month is what that means. Woo! All right. Everyone enjoys speculating about this for the next. Oh, that's interesting. Nine months. Nine months, you say. Go back.

Somebody's going to go all the way back in the archives and listen to this after they listen to the Hager's episode. And I'm going to say, well-struck. Glad you found this. Ryan Nanny Impreg searches. He's so beautiful. He's not going to listen to this is the best part. Hey, he's glowing.

He's glowing. Yeah. We do have a show. Hey, you want to do a podcast business before we start? Before we get into this? Yeah, we really should. We really should. Podcast business.

What's that business? Podcast business. It's a business. Wintery Hellmix go. And they're sleet and snowing. Hailing nice and hilling snow and bright name's frozen. It's not good. until we get the doyck.

And then we do it. By the way, respect and love to the University of Arkansas student who on a hill where there was only one pole slid directly into it on a sled and amused me deeply on social media because her head went doink against the pole. She was fine. She was fine. She was fine. She was fine. She was fine. She did an interview about it. Don't yell at us.

She did. She said it was awesome. Hell yeah. Also, if you know this girl, I. I need you to tell me what sorority she's in. This is not for any kind of purposes of tracking her down. It's just going to affect this joke that I really want to make that will only work if she's a kio. Thank you.

Holly has made her requests known. Please, everyone. Do not fail me. Thank you. Don't fail her. Don't disappoint. What you are listening to right now is the shutdown forecast. We should go ahead at the beginning of this off season remind you that, yes, we have a Patreon.

All right. What do you get if you subscribe to the shutdown? Great question. That is a great question. During the season, of course, you get the full cast after dark, hot and fresh delivered to your inbox. Plus 13 other bonus episodes, about 10 of which we didn't know we were going to be doing. That is correct. Now, in the offseason, how is this going to go? Well, we have a number of tough.

Hell if we know. It's really funny that you think we can answer this question. We have ideas. Last season, what we did, we provided a history of the Arkansas football program. That was in August. Yeah, by last season, we mean the three weeks before the season when we launched this. That is correct. That is correct. This will be our first official full off season of this.

So imagine the splendors. Imagine the gifts that we're going to come up with for you. When are they going to come out? When they're ready, man. We got to work on them. Are we going to have special editions, reactions to maybe news that happens? For instance, I don't know. No, what if PJ Fleck just decides to create his own rocket and prove that the earth is flat?

We'll do an episode on that. Like, for sure. We'll give an instant reaction on that. Am I going to try to sell Ryan on something in one bonus episode I'm already planning? Absolutely. Are you going to try to do drugs? That's another one. Heck, we're coming up with new episodes left and right.

Welcome to our production meeting. Ryan does That's such a great idea. Ryan does drugs. Are you literally writing it down? We're going to do the Charlie Bit My Finger episode with Ryan. Yeah, that's it.

I'm just going to give, I'm going to give Ryan powerful hallucinogens and we're going to see what happens. We're not telling Ryan that that's what the episode is about, though. We're just going to all have some nice tea. Nobody say anything. Yes, yes.

This isn't a crime. Well, I think we say, welcome to our episode called Ryan, does drugs but then the reveal is Ryan we need you to do drugs okay not the drugs are already inside him no yeah Ryan that would probably be a crime

because then that would not be that would be the drugs doing Ryan you know oh Ryan does drugs and watches the 2003 Sun Bowl yes that's going to be an episode Ryan does drugs

and watches Grave of the Fireflies Oh boy. Yeah. Choose your drugs carefully. Choose drugs and movies carefully. But yeah, that is the kind of stuff you get if you support us. Also, you just get to support. That is the kind of stuff that you get. That is also, by the way, just, you know,

if you want to thank us for this free show we put out, which you're still going to get in the middle of the damn week. If you're one of those who doesn't hate listen, right? Or if you are a hate listener, God, imagine what, like, annoying stuff we're saying over on our Patreon. You better keep an eye on us there too. It is $4 or however many more you would like to give. And I'm going to go in and organize the episodes

so people can find the afterdarks versus the non-afterdarks and so forth. I'll put them into collections. I believe they're called on Patreon. And if you are in some sort of fucked up Fendom Pay Pig relationship with us. Okay. Without question, some of you are. Multiple of you are. I do not doubt it.

Listen, you sick, pathetic. Fuck. Give us another. That's right. You nasty little boy. You nasty little shit. I need you to get on your filthy knees. Give us another $4.

Somebody just ruined their pants. In which direction? They've always wanted Spencer to say that to them. I have. Do we have an AO3 page? I probably shouldn't look, right? Wow. I'm going to be honest.

I'm thinking right now of two things people have said to us over the last decade that I'm like, I'm not going to look at that ever. The TV Troops page is bad enough, yeah. The TV Troops page is fine. That one's fine. It's all wrong. Okay, all right. Okay. So if you're listening to this, either subscribe by our Patreon or go fix our TV Troops page.

I'm happy that we have one, though. Yeah, either way, patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast. Give us $4. You dirty bitch. It went. This is not helping. This is not helping anything. really not helping is what i would just want to say that wasn't what i hope them i'm about to say there was

oh no it went inside me and i was talking about worse i was talking about how i'm wearing over ear headphones and i could not escape the tone just picture show has reached new levels of money somebody hearing spencer say that and they're like shuddering oh finally finally 100 dollar tier $100 tier. Folks, in the offseason, since Ryan's not here, we're going to watch him step on cakes. Yeah. We only have 200 cake. While on drugs.

Yeah, we only have. I was not a big backlog of those. If you are in the $1,000 tier, send us your dirty requests. And we might look at them. I think we would all be fine with feet picks. Like, that always seemed to me to be like the most sensible way to make. money online. It's way better than podcasting. I'll put my feet in anything for money.

Yeah, it's just, have I told you guys about It's been it's been long enough that I think you can tell everyone about it again. Okay, can I call this story? Okay. She is listening right now, so hey, I'm sorry, I'm going to tell this story. Also, she loves, also, no, she's in Nashville.

She can't hear this. A buddy in my, this is a long time ago when I lived in California, but there was a bunch of people at a buddy's wedding, and there was a camera, like set up on a tripod on the ground to like show the dancing by a bonfire and anyway long story short night gets rowdy somebody steps in a piece of cake in the middle of this video the video continues and uh this gets posted to instagram this is not the point of the video it just happens

interstitiously and she wakes up to like five instagram requests from dudes asking for just a cut of her stepping on cake and that is how we discovered that i mean you just kind of know ambiently that like feet picks are a thing did not know that people people stepping in food was a specific fetish that people had. So one afternoon, bored by the pool, we all just decided that we're going to do this. And we made this Instagram account called the instant flood of requests to pay my friend for her feet pictures of just like, and the specificity of like, please pour a bag of barbecue lays into a past fire. So like requesting specific puddings? Yeah, yeah.

Hang on, I'm going to look. I bet the Instagram accounts still up. Go on. Lock it down because. Yeah. No, like, I think we got bored with it after a couple weeks, but like this was, she made some money for a minute. I could never get bored with being rich.

Oh, it's been taken by. No, it looks like she deleted. Server. The Tony fans is coming. Yeah, I can't. for the for i can't i can't stress to you enough i will do this yeah garbage anything listen i like it looks like it looks like i i think it's the most like sensible way of

of making money on the internet because like you it's so unidentifiable sure yeah i've been told by somebody familiar with the adult industry that the foot people are the noble uh no pun intended foot soldiers of the only fans realm because they always pay they always feet people are like It's not reasonable. They're the Lannisters. Everybody she dealt with was very,

everybody she dealt with was very, like, respectful. You know, that all the feet guys are like, I know. They're all like, here's my car. It's still up. Okay. So they're all load bearing, like. Yeah, it is still up.

Okay. Yeah, the bedrock, right? Like, people who want nudity and sex all over the place, variable results. People who want pictures of feet, noble, backbone of the community. I am dropping loose. Yeah. It's not.

That's not, I remembered the name wrong, but here. I remembered the chips thing correctly. Oh, no way, I'm sorry. It was Lay's Southern Biscuits and Gravy Flavor Chips in the California. Comment, I can't wait. Smiley face. I'm fearful of what this does to my algorithm. It's a, oh my God, were we ever so young?

The sealed brain is can. I say, were we ever so young? This was 2017. I think the sealed Pringles can is the funniest part. It's like, oh, just wait until we break these open. At the top, you can't stop. They do look pretty good right now, though, the Pringles. The chips?

Yeah, I was like, not a feet guy, but not like chips. Did your foot in slime? I think maybe the Pringles thing is like imagining them as a full, like all the Pringles in one stack and they are all crushed at once, you know? I guess, yeah. This was from March to June 2017, and then we got bored, I guess. It was a good run. Yeah, it was a good run. Monday toavation.

It was right there. Damn it. See? Toes. Toes day. Okay, so yeah, we'll just run this back. Folks, sign up for the Patreon now. Patreon.com slash shut down fullcast.

Shatown forecast. Nasty, nasty, filthy shit. We'll go up there. Probably not, but you never know. You never know. You never know. You never know to be sure. only one way to find out

Ryan, we are specifically signing you up for this as well. This is a fun way of finding out whether you've been lying about listening to the show this whole time. Yeah, if Ryan doesn't disavow that he will post feet on our Patreon, then he does listen to the show.

Yeah. Then you tow. Changing subjects. Homefield apparel.com. In case you want to wear clothes. It will not cover your feet. It will leave your feet. pure and bare

naked even. They do have socks, right? They got socks. Do they have Indiana specific socks? Because you know what's even dirtier than feet picks? Sock picks. But if you want to step into a new year in style Hey. And boy, who doesn't?

Homefieldapparel.com. Oh yeah. I thought I would just quickly run through my... These are hot socks. God damn it. I had it all back together.

I thought, thought I would run through real quick, just a top five of my personal favorite Indiana Hoosier's postseason home field apparel items that I will be procuring for addition to my person. This is spectacular. You can now pre-order the Indiana Hoosier's 2025 CFP National Champions bomber jacket. I will not be getting that for myself. That does feel a little bit like stolen valor, but I am planning on enjoying in ascending order. The crew neck, the undefeated 2025 Red Heather Undefeated National Champs

Kroenek at number five. At number four, of course, I'm going to reach a little back to the Rose Bowl and get the classic 90s Rose Bowl game champion shirt with the, you know, the big letters. We all know the style, don't we folks? We know what we're talking about.

Rags to roses, I'm going to get with the second Rose Bowl t-shirt at number three that has a giant football with roses coming out of it, which is a thing that happens at the Rose Bowl, as we all know. Number two, the 2025 National Champs Bison Crown Tea that has the Buffalo mascot of Indiana

with a crown and wrap around sunglasses shades. And number one because I don't want to actually besmirch my nine Windyana shirt and wear it upside down to make a new one. The clean crisp white 16 Windiana tea eat shit supreme.

This is so much better. That's a great list. That's a great hall. The King Bison is pretty good. And the the trucker hat for me. Also, considering the undefeated champs map hoodie as well.

Oh, yeah, the map one's good. I didn't see that. Yeah. You have all of the options because remember, since the founding of Homefield Apparel, Indiana National Championships

before zero, Indiana National Championships after in football, one. So, homefield apparel.com. Buy it, wear it, love it. Go Hoosiers.

When you're wearing clothes. those make sure it's home field. Hey, listen, I want to know about a newsletter that I can get for free, Jason. Well, the until Saturday newsletter has just entered the offseason. I have nearly completed my first 365 days with this newsletter. I started right after signing day last year. And yeah, let's keep it going. It's a good newsletter about college football.

We actually hit the news and stuff, which is kind of unfamiliar territory. but we have fun with that anyway. It's pretty bloggy. It's like very, it's very, very, very bloggy. We talk a lot about, like, you know, we're kind of just getting away with, like, 2010-style blogging. That's nice, isn't it?

Large company. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Like, a sustainable way to just, you know, post, like Kirchner, the Pulse, is our weekend guy there. So if that doesn't explain the vibe of it, then I don't know what well, that it's mostly Kirchner and me.

Yeah, that's a good newsletter. Fond of it. If you would like to pay for a newsletter, and frankly... Well, then I, Spencer, will tell you how to do that. You will go to the Channel 6 newsletter. Whoa! Yeah. Channel-6.ghost.io, that's right.

Channel-6.6.ghost.io. That is the newsletter that Holly and I put together twice a week. That's it. Two pieces of content every single week delivered without fail. We're going to be working on... one for this week, which is our, we haven't done a postseason top whatever to go ahead and cover our postseason rankings. That doesn't necessarily. We might have done by the time this episode's out. Yeah, but, uh, but we're going to do that because we haven't done that.

And it's also time to rank some things that, uh, definitely deserve ranking that maybe aren't necessarily football teams for that. And so much more, our free newsletter on Friday in the off season, TRL, a name of our own invention. We do that. We do, we have a couple of really interesting longer pieces coming up, including one about the watcher. Folks, it is 41 degrees in Atlanta with a real feel of 36.

Would you like to know why the dog is barking? Go ahead. The neighbor has the leaf blower out. Amazing. Not the snow blower. So that's what that is? Yeah. Yeah.

That's what that is. I'm going to meet myself. Yep. When I'm so that's Channel 6. I need to just subscribe. Give us $10 a month for two things a week at least so I can fund a presidential campaign where I will run on banning leaf blowers nationwide. Yeah. That is it.

Channel. 6.ghost.io. It's great. Subscribe. Thank you. What if we need tunes? What if I need music? have some right now.

That's true. We have some beautiful music. Yeah, well then, like, you know, band camp is a place. Typically on YouTube, you can find some stuff, but if you specifically want to look up the best music, you could live up killer ants with a Z or a Zed, depending on whether or not you're in the United States or New Zealand, the UK, Canada, elsewhere in the world that uses Zed. you could also listen to my podcast

Hand in the Dirt where we will teach you that leaf floors are a waste of fucking time get a bagger for your mower you imbecile I'm supposed to stick a speaker out the window like reverse John Hughes style and blast this show at the neighbor with the leaf floor is this the neighbor who blows their leaves directly into our yard yes that's right Betty

they should die even at the the the mention of leaf blowers my hound dog came in here to say uh-uh fuck that shit so yeah listen to hand in the dirt and listen to kill your ants for a significant portion of yesterday we thought that we were going to be down to a half staff contingent today with ryan being encased in a snow globe and jason being briefly detained by the forces of winter himself and we solicited a call from you about Snow Day episode. Kind of a hybrid disasters mailbag situation here. We asked you to leave voicemails about dumb shit you had gotten up to on a snow day. In the interest of being fair geographically to our audience,

we also told listeners they could write in with stories of hurricanes themselves. Hurricanes being made of snow that, which has been melted, in my opinion. And we did get a couple of great hurricane submissions, but I got to tell you, In a week where the people of Minnesota in particular have shown out and shown up and really made us proud to be Americans, our Midwest contingent really picked their moment to shine this week. We have, we got Chicago, we got Wisconsin, we got Ann Arbor, we have a strong Minnesota contingent, we got Iowa State in here, we got lands. you guys really came through on short notice to tell us about dumb shit you've gotten up to in the snow. A couple of things before we start running through these. If you don't hear yours, I, A, I'm sorry, we got like 50 of these in response within the first hour.

And then more of a night, we had a lot to go through. Second of all, a lot of you, there's a lot of common experiences to all of us. One of these is being towed behind a car or truck on a conveyor. of snow and the other is improvised items for sledding downhill. In the interest of volume, we only selected a few of these, and we kept them to the ones that either included extra creativity, extra dumb mitigating circumstances, or grievous injury. The good shit, in other words. Yeah, just to kind of establish a floor.

So just to kick us off, Cerber, can we hear from Jack in Lansing? Hey, Folketh, this is Jack and Lansing. Once there was a, we got a 17 inches of snow, so I was out in my neighborhood, shoveling people out, two cars got stuck, and a guy keep running down the street to help me out. We dig these two cars out. As a thank you, I go, hey, you want to grab a beer from inside? He looked at him, he goes, I'm 14. So I said, oh, stay a swimming right inside.

Uh, thanks Hill Rock. Do you want one or not? Who gives a shit how old you are? Overdue. Here you go. Being offered a beer in the snow, oh, it's so great. It's one of life's most sublime.

Nothing hits like snow beer. Snow beer. Listen, the three times it's happened to me, immaculate. Absolutely fantastic. we I want to can we hear from just because as as place of honor can we hear from that from Minneapolis I was nine we watched the only rated R VHS my parents had twice in a row in the morning speed the afternoon we recreated every chief scene from that movie using intertubes on the flooding hill until I knocked myself unconscious

Hell yeah. It's a good fucking day. Speed was on and then speed was out. So I had a sledding disaster in Tennessee once where it was a hill, but it was a very, very, like a very abrupt top, right? Like a very abrupt top. So we were going off the side of it. And I not really paying attention as I was want to do as a child did not notice that in waiting my turn, on said toboggan or sled.

It's like a sheet of plastic, basically. That I was sliding sideways and not forward, because this had a crown to it. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. Oh, I'm going over the side of the hill. And when I went over the side of the hill, the side of the hill was so steep and so icy. I got wily coyote there for a while. Like silhouetted into the side of the cliff? Yes.

And just had to kind of hang there. And, you know, I was like, 12 when you know if you're not great at pull-ups anyway when you're 12 and you're porking up for your growth spurt you're definitely not doing a pull-up on the root that you were holding to hold you to the side of this hill so for about a minute my dad was just like well just pull yourself up dad you've had a fat child you don't understand the fat child is not pulling themselves up this hill you're going to have to extend a hand and then i nearly pulled my dad off the hill with my bulk it was awesome. Nice.

Hey, sir, let's hit, uh, let's hit Chris from Chicago 847. Hey, full cast, shout out to raw. Chris from Chicago, your local Walmart Wolverine. Uh, my snow day story, I got into three car accidents and three days, uh, during. Nice. Uh, 2011 February blizzard here in Chicago. Um, first one I ripped the skid plate out of the bottom of my beautiful used Kia Sorrento. Second day, I barely tapped somebody in traffic.

In the third day, somebody tried cutting across traffic, and I sprayed up teabones them. No injury, but I wasn't allowed to drive for a while after that by my parents. Because my car was on fire, therefore I wasn't allowed to drive it. I this one really caught my attention because it's I've I've long been fascinated with at what point a situation tips from tips from bad into into you know the realm of the absurd like you know it's uh you know Michael Hennegglongo in Mississippi State I really think is what is what set me off on this quest like at what point as a coach do you look at your quarterback who's thrown four interceptions and say he's done right like and not a

as in done for the day, but as in, he's done throwing interceptions, right? He can't possibly throw a fifth. So like, after the first car accident, you're like, oh, it's a, you know, it's a snow day. He's got to learn. We're going to live here our whole lives, you know, send him back out. It's the thought process between this second car, between, you know, put on a helmet and pads and get back out there. And then after the second car accident, what's on your mind, parents? Put him back out there. He's got to give the 14-year-old a beer. Only one way to learn. Yeah, apparently.

Just got to lock in, I think. Yeah. He's got to go out there and t-bonous stranger in the middle of Chicago. That's what you got to do. It's the only way to learn. We all do it. Three accidents and three days.

That's a decent start, kid. Do you have a fourth in you? Consistency is a virtue. I'm going to introduce you to Bears' fandom. Have a car wreck? Go out there and have another car wreck. Chicago style. That's how we teach him to walkiegan.

Short-term memory. literally from all the car wrecks. Oh, that's right. You get them out there. Hey, it's, hey, it's, you got to win the middle, the middle eight car accidents. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. If you do three wrecks, then the third one is the middle.

The second one is the middle one. That means it's the most important one. Do tow companies have punch cards? That guy knows. Should ask him. Folks, call back if you've ever been part of like a membership club at a towing establishment. Thank you. Hey, Serbs.

How about Matt from Kansas City, 210? Hey, Fullcast, this is Matt from Kansas City. This is a winter slash snow screw up by my mom, actually. So she and my dad both took us to Big Bear when I was like five or six out in California and put us on those big black oversized inner tube. I was like kindergarten maybe, but I was big, like second or third grader size, but into kindergarteners, you know, uncoordinated body. So I'm flying down this hill.

and there's a lady standing at the bottom of the hill. And my mom didn't bother to try to scream or tell her to get out of the way. And going like 20-something miles per hour, I hit this lady, full bore. She's not facing me, so she had no idea it was coming. She goes ass over tea kettle. And my mom, still to this day, bleams the lady because she didn't have her head on a swivel. Thanks, Vailcast.

Hail raw. Love what y'all do. Bye. How dare you place your? yourself in my son's bath. My massive son, can't you see? He's a Titanic

Second or Titanic Kindergarner. I don't know. I don't know if you've been in this game. This thwomp that I have birthed. Warning wide load. My son! He's practically on rails. Big baby on board.

Have I told the vacation disaster story about my mom in the intertube with the water part? I don't know. The one where it was, this was at Wet and Wild. Oh wow. If that tells you anything in Orlando, which does that still exist?

Did they shut that down? They should have. Wet and Wild was a large Orlando water park establishment in the 90s. We went there visiting my grandparents and we were on one of those interstreet rides and you know, the lifeguard's telling you at the top. You're like, okay, everybody pick your butt up. You'll go faster. And my mom listened to him because, you know,

She's never not been a little bit of a hellraiser. This is my mother who has been thrown out of the wooden go-kart track in Gatlinburg that has the big spiral ramp. The good one. And she, you know, we kind of hear this, this, I feel like I've told this story on a vacation disaster's episode made. But just in case, we're like, we all go, I come out of the bottom, my brother comes out of the bottom, my dad comes out of the bottom. My mom is last. And we hear this like very faint scream coming from the inside of the two. It's like, and it's getting loud.

and louder and louder. And Mom has decided to listen to the lifeguard and pick her butt up. And when she told us later, she was too afraid to put her butt back down. Because she thought like it might hurt. And so she just like was just running down on pure tube or what I'm sure there's some kind of fun slang term for what they call it. She shot out of the bottom of this thing and skipped across the landing pool like a skipping stone. And in slow, as if in slow motion, we watch her just barrel over this. this woman who's at the entire other end of the pool exiting via the steps. And I remember this woman's bathing suit. It was like she had this red bathing suit with white polka dots on it, like a little like frilly swim dress type thing. And the reason I remember this is because this was fairly early in the day. And we kept ending up behind this family in line at the park for the rest of the day. And every time we saw her again, my mom felt compelled to apologize to her again. And you could tell.

And this woman, and not that she was compelled to. accept the apology or should have been, but she was not, not pleased to see us every single time. We queued up, and now I'm wondering if we shouldn't have played that just a little more aggressively. How about concrete mailbox? That's always a good start. Wow. Server, can we play Seymour in Chicago? Hey, it's Seymour in Chicago. Hell raw and praise my do. My dumbass snow day story is me and my friends back in high school, used to ride out to the suburbs after a fresh snow and tackle snowmen and film our own little jackass kick because we thought we were going to go on jackass i don't know uh that was until one time a bunch of kids uh i guess all was tackling snowmen made another one and then they covered that one with water and i maybe built it around a pole or a hydrogen something uh i tried to tackle it partially dislocated my shoulder so thanks game

That's a great trap when you have like, hey, that kid likes to tackle snowmen. I got an idea. We had a streak of hoodlums hitting, and by hoodlums, I mean, it was clearly my brother and his friends hitting mailboxes with bats in our neighborhood. And my dad put our new mailbox after our old one got knocked off like his wooden post or whatever, sunk like a PVC pipe in the ground and filled it with concrete. How'd that go? for us great it never went down again there was another one down the street did you guys ever like server i don't know if you're far far south enough spencer and jason you've probably seen this those those mailboxes that are shaped like florida is full of these those mailboxes that are shaped like

like manatees and alligators and there was somebody in our neighborhood which is not at all tropical that had a flamingo mailbox like it was pink it was like it was like a pink mailbox with like a giant wooden head coming out of it and like little wooden feet. But at one point, somebody knocked the head off the mailbox. And I don't know if this was a kid with a bat, somebody backing into it or what. And then at some point, the feet fell off. So for a long time, like a couple of years, it was just this bright pink mailbox with wings, which was kind of better in a way. So Jason, you'll be familiar with this sort of neighborhood.

my sister at one point lived in like Hall County, which I think has similar geography to where you're living. And occasionally there's the entrance to a subdivision. And the entrance to a subdivision usually, you know, it's usually a sort of cleared off plateau of land that you have to drive up to, right? Or down to. And, man, I was up there one time with my sister when it iced over up there. We just got out lawn chairs.

Just got out lawn chairs and watched like F-150. Not making it. All the way down the hill, slide, into the ravine. I counted seven people seven people piled up before the eighth looked at the top and was like I'm not going to work today I'm not this Chevy Lumina

is not making it down the road so do you want to gauge like how long you have how many mistakes people have to make before you learn the eighth I think we have a follow up from Seymour there's a part two in here what hey shutdown cast

it's Seymour in Chicago again follow up to the story about tackling snowman after I hit the snowman and dislocated my shoulder. My buddy tied a bunch of like chains and like bungee cords and stuff to it and attached it to the hitch of the F-150 and we dragged snowmen down the street. All right. I'm up. You did a war crime on a snowman. I know.

I think if these two stories have been in a different order, it'd be like, ah, good, the snowman got revenge. Yeah. As it is, it's a story. It's a vicious story of retribution. And I don't like it. Thank you, Seymour. I like it. Way to get justice for yourself.

Let's see. How about, let's change up. Let's do a hurricane story. Can we go to 410? Hey, guys. I am a proud alumni of the university of Miami. My first year was in 2005. We got hit by three hurricanes, and the biggest for us was Wilma.

I decided I need to feel the force of nature, stuck my head out of window. Blew the glasses off my face, down 12 stories. I then decided to try to go find them in the middle of a storm. I did not find them. I was effectively blind for about a week or so until I could get a new pair of send from home. Cocaine. Google did translate this last line as cocaine. I like that's Mother Nature being like, Mother Nature being like, oh, so you're curious, fucko.

Now you're blind. I like that. I would, I am just going to do this one based on the plot twist. 9.05. If we could get 905. Hey, Ron, gang. I lived on a side street that didn't get plowed. And when it snowed, we'd hide behind the parked cars.

As a car parked at the, or slowed down at the stop sign, we'd run out, grab onto the bumper, and get towed down the block. used to do that for a couple years until somebody wiped out and slid into a parked car and got really hurt. A few, Rob, the sun god. Now, see, this one was special. This is what we were talking about at the top, because any asshole can, you know, tie themselves to their bumper and go skitching down the street or whatever. But adding the fact of the unaware driver really put this one over the top from me. I like, they're like, you know, we stopped when somebody got. grievously injured slightly hurt no problem there's another there's another plot twist one of

these in here let me see if i can find it real quick i think it was in ann arbor um hang on hang on hang on oh yeah four one nine yeah hey full cast will this is uh this story's from like one of the evenings after uh the only snow day i got during my time at university of michigan and the buddy and i decided to go skitching um he's really experienced snowboard i'm a they experienced skier. And we had a bunch of good laps in a row, went up into a nice neighborhood called Barton Hills. And, you know, there's a reason you never say this is the last lap. I had been driving just fine in ski boots, but as my snowboarder friend got into the front seat, got a little excited coming over the main hill we had been laughing. And I saw those brakes

locked up, lock up in my car. And I let go of the rope, watched them go right over. over the edge of the road and flipped the car into a ravine. I saw Miracle he walked out with barely a small cut on his lip and just a bit shaken up. Shout out to that Ann Arbor cop who came up and decided not to mark down the fact that I was wearing ski boots. And the incident report got a great return on that car in the insurance settlement. I like that the cop just saw this and was like, nah. Nah. What happened?

Normal accident. No other factors. You imagine how much more paperwork there is involving that? This is airing on the side of less administrative headache for everyone. This is the cop's laziness working for you, that he's like, I have 500 other calls today. There is another one of those, actually. We can chain these together very nicely. Let's play 616.

They should have not forecast. I live in Michigan, moved down in Arkansas. They got like a half an inch of snow. I went out in critical bites I was in the military with, and we went out and drove in the snow, the doance and stuff, and then Walmart parking lot until a state cop shows up and goes, oh, I was going to give you a ticket until I thought Michigan license flight.

You're fine. Have nice day. Bye. So, yeah, that's my snow day story. I have a good one. Bye. you've got a snow mishdiff license sir you're fine

like Arkansas cop pulls up and he sees some Michigan license and he's like subject matter expert so like I don't know if this is so much I am a fan of your school or if it's ah you're from you're from the right part of the world oh I thought it was the latter yeah yeah I thought it was like if he had seen in Arkansas

he'd be like well I know you boys are stupid but he saw Michigan plate and he was like ah snow people they know what they're doing that's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think what the inverse would be there, right? Like, would the inverse be if you were in Michigan and you saw somebody with Arkansas plates

trying to set off an elaborate bootleg firework display? You'd be like, ah, you know what you're doing. I see it. This is how this is the song of their people. These are cansans. They're born with a lit fuse in their mouth. They're fine. Let's go to Ben and Virginia 757.

Hey, full cast, hail to raw. Ben in Virginia. It was not snowday, but hurricanes. When I was stationed in Camp Lejean, North Carolina, we got locked down in our barracks because of a hurricane with nothing to do but drink lots of beer, which eventually led to multiple Marines, tying their ponchos to their arms and legs,

and jumping into the wind. to try to take flight, which eventually led to one Marine getting smacked against a tree and breaking his wrist and elbow, which put a stop to everything. Everything you think and know about Marines is true. Everything we've ever been told about the Marines is delightful on the show. The official forecast branch of the armed services, the Marines. Is this derogatory? Don't worry about it. It's full cast.

Complimenteroggery. That's what it is. In the way that people say this is their favorite show, the Marines are our favorite branch of the armed forces. Does that mean they're good? That's not in the picture. That's not the question. We said favorite.

That's true. Man, I like one that starts with transcription not available. This, okay, well, I'm going to tell you, this one was three minutes long. and Google refused to transcribe any of it, I feel like it's enough of a narrative arc that we can roll with it here. It's a slow burn, but it's worth the wait. Let's dare. When I was a high school junior in the D.C. suburbs, we were hit with something that the newspaper is called Snowmageddon.

I appreciated this because they called off school, and my neighbor was my age. We were good friends. and we had friends on the other side of small forest. Can't be more than about a mile walk from our house to theirs cutting through the forest, maybe about three miles if we were to take the roads. And so we thought it would be a good idea before the snow got too heavy to go head over there with backpacks full of, you know, change of clothes, sleeping bags, planted this day of night. and everyone's parents were abreast of the news.

This is a plan that everyone knew about. What the parents didn't know about was that me and my buddy thought it would be a good idea to smoke a little reaper before walking over as high school kids are wanting to do. And we both overestimated just how perilous traversing the woods in a blizzard is. because what normally took us 20, 25 minutes of walking ended up taking about a solid hour and a half. We got lost. It turns out when the paved pass that you normally walk through the woods on are covered under at this point about foot and a half of snow and you can't see more than maybe four or five feet in front of you, it becomes.

scary. Being a little stone doesn't help in that regard. We wander so much and we end up backtracking, following our tracks back to our house, and then we attempt to follow the normal roads the three-mile long way to get to their house because at this point, you know, we need to get somewhere. We're soaked wet. Well, it's even worse. when the roads are covered under snow no plows are out yet it's still you know

four feet of visibility so all told it ends up taking us about two and a half hours to make a 20-minute walk by the time we get there we're completely sober but it was a wild and stupid and scary I was terrified I'm not gonna lie it was terrifying. Oh, I'm lost in my own neighborhood. I can't be more than a mile from my own home and I might die out here in the cold. Sick. Can I just say, buddy, he said... As long as a relatable one in the whole bunch. You're like, I got high as high school was her want to do. He said, Reifer. I'm sorry, based on the length and tone of that voicemail, it sounds like something you might currently do. It sounds like something you might recently do. Well, we had people calling in from snow days of their own, so.

Have you ever been lost somewhere very unfamiliar when you were high? Not when high, just what stupid. Which is most of the time. Probably. Probably. See, I have a... I don't remember that. Yeah, how we even know?

Yeah, which wouldn't occur to me. I have been. I got disastrously high and rode a bike around Angkor Wat in Cambodia. Oh, God. Not Anchor Wat, Kentucky. Yeah, not Anchor Wat. Anchor what? Anchor what?

Anchor who? I got to, like, tragically high and miscalculated how high I was and got on a bike and began to ride around the temple complex at Ancor Wat. And this was before they had like mandatory paths. So you could just kind of vibe and go wherever you wanted. And I got about halfway and was like, oh, I'm fucking lost. This is not good. And the only way that I could get back and not panic was to tell myself that I was in a game of Tomb Raider.

So I'm just on a bite going, Laura Croft, Larcroft, I'm Laura Croft. Here we go. You got the Gams for it? Yeah, I mean, games teach you more survival schools than you think. Like, the number of times I've been driving and like, holy shit, there's a lot of weather or whatever, you know. And I'm like, I've done this. I played a lot of Star Wars pod racer. I know how to do this.

I've got a lot of hours in the sim. Like it very much is like, oh, my brain knows how to do this. It's fine. You know, like, it's super crazy weather. Super like, oh, big hill coming up. A big truck right next to me. This is nothing. I've beaten this level before.

I landed a plane on water. Fucking flight simulator. This is nothing. Yeah, well, being shot at. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah, listen, I've got to, listen, I have to defend my friend's family in front of my former partner in crime. and his treacherous teammate on a mountain, right?

While I have tuberculosis, I've done the simulator. I'm ready. Yeah. Red Dead. Red Dead's prepped me for all kinds of things. Do I need to stay up all night? Cheating in poker? I can do it.

Do I need to do my video game mission, but delay it so that I can get way too invested in the game within the game? Yeah. I've done this. I know how to do this. I've trained for this. Yeah. Listen, nothing a can't of can't fix. That's hell yeah, brother.

Am I at a point in life where I should probably stay put and not advance the story anymore? But I feel compelled to continue the story mission instead of just doing side quests. Yeah, let's leave this camp by the lake. I'm sure it gets better than this. Anyone who plays Red Dead after 40

is like, oh yeah, that's kind of the deal. I mean, second Red Dead played through is like, we made it to the lake. Don't touch anything. Don't touch any more buttons. Game ends here. Delete, save. Stop.

It's funny. This thing is flashing. It's telling me to do this. No. I bet I get a new gun, a new hat. No, you don't need that hat. Stay by the lake. Hunt with buddy.

Hunt with buddy over and over again. But I'm feeling peer pressure to go do this mission. No, cut them out your life. They're toxic. Stay by lake. Never leave lake. What Red Dead Redemption taught me about ending toxic relationships? About never leaving Lake?

Never leaving. Does Dutch, you know what, Dutch wants to talk nasty about you? Let him. Let him. Let him. Put some money in his little collection box and let him run his mouth. You sit and look at Lake. Look at Lake.

Find legendary pelt. I was just about to say, go hunt legendary panther. It might kill you. That's fine. You'll resurrect at lake, so it's fine. Catch legendary fish. That's it. That's it, man. Never leave a lake. Wait, you can catch legendary fish? Yeah, there's a legendary of each. Oh, yeah. So the way to unlock the best, the flyest gear is to kill a legendary animal. Like you go kill a legendary badger or what have you and now you have the best shoes.

It is the most like, it is the most. It took five years. I finally want to play this game. Five years? How long has it been? If you get to the lake, don't leave it. They just made it sound like animal crossing, and you're like, I'm in. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, because remember, I quit Breath of the Wild after I couldn't, it wouldn't let me hunt any more mushrooms and it started making me try and kill things. I was like, I just want to forage, man.

Yeah, you forage. You can, listen, you can be killed by a mountain lion at any point in that game, sitting in a saloon, hanging out, mountain lion attack. Mountain line, stole my fish. Yeah, stole my leg. legendary fish. That's East Tennessee as hell. You're like, wait a second.

You didn't mention legendary fish to me. Yeah, it'll be like a fish with its own lore. And you catch it and you're like, you're the one who caught it. Now you get a hat. Listen, if I ever make a Western, there will be a legendary fisherman named William, name, well, not William Dance. No, no, William, will, like, oh, man, like William Buggy or something. Yeah.

He'll be named. Jimmy, yeah, Jimmy Square Dance. Yeah, like, yeah. But he will be named. Yeah, and you'll never be able to beat him. It won't,

like, that'll be the thing. They'll be like, did you ever beat Bill Dancing the fish off? And you're like, no. Oh, he's too elusive. I didn't, yeah. But,

but of course, my thing would be as an MPC, he would pratt fall the minute you got him into sight, right? Like you'd never beat him, but he'd be on like a bolt. Yeah, he'd fall out of the boat. God damn gum it! falling off of a boulder into the water.

So it's like you keep trying to catch him, but you can't. No, yeah, because he always pratfalls had a scream before you can challenge him again. He's like, dang it. Yeah, Bill Dance has caught legendary pike. So it's not about you catching legendary fish. It's about you taking it from him, but you can't catch him. Yeah, you can't catch him. So in the end is he not the legendary fish?

The biggest game. Yeah, that's the game. So if you kill Bill Dance, you get the best hat. And it is a Tennessee A Tennessee Vols Shrher hat. It's the power team. I'm going to put

I'm going to get me a mod. I'm going to put that on Arthur Morgan. Stop building the better world for me that I can't have. No, there's mods. We got this. Yeah. This is the steam workshop. Somebody makes a Tennessee mod hat.

We'll get all in this game. Holly misses the next three shows. We're all going to know why. Bill dance attacked by Grizzly Bear. And the only thing you hear He doesn't make a screamer or cry. You just hear, Dad, gum it!

Maybe a little splish splash, his feet kick it up in the water. Going over the falls. Dadgummit! Dang it! Howdy! Howdy, mister? Nice hat! This is Lord of the Rings being fresh in my mind,

but can you imagine Bill dancing one of those little elven boats going past the Argonath? Dang! Only in every dream I ever had. Long and I desired to leave upon my desire. the feet of my kin. Oh, lo, the icons of my ancestors. Well, dang.

I bet they too are impressed by the power of this four-cylinder Evan Rood that's taken us through here. Evan Rude. Them big ass statues got some nice vol hats. Oh my God. Just in the Carrhart jacket with the full hat pointing. Spencer, can you 3D print me an Argonath statue? I can't.

Can we get two of them, one for each side of the drive? driveway. I would love that. This is the first thing where I'm like, absolutely, we should do that. Yes. I would like to hear 314 based on Snow Day, no cops. Hi, okay. This is Charles. We are doing Snow Day stories. Not only something dumb I did, but when I was a sophomore in college, we had a big snow day at my Midwestern University and it threw a couch at a window and dragged it through Greek town with a toast draft and rise to people. pickup trucks because we were an ag-focused fraternity.

We had lost pickup trucks. The dumb part was not us. It was what allowed us to do this activity, and that was that our campus police department sent out a tweet, I think it was. It might have been Facebook, whatever, that they were stuck in their garage and wouldn't be able to assist people that day, kind of letting lawlessness just spread, which was great, until the word went out that the local police department was also understaffed because as the weather.

So, great day for everybody. But I don't know why you'd let a bunch of college kids know that you weren't going to be able to show up with the police department all day. So, I don't know, seems pretty dumb to me. But happy snow day. I always see Snake from the Simpsons, right? Like, response times are going to be limited because we're stuck in the garage. And Snake's like, yes. Awesome.

That is good, though. They do that. That actually, we sped in high school during the storm of the century. because Storm of the Century happened in basically a hurricane where we were in Florida. Okay. I know Storm of the Century was up in like Tennessee and in Kentucky. They had like two feet of snow. Are you talking about 93?

Yes. Yes. And at the time I'm in high school. And the police at one point, if you've been in a hurricane, they'll come. If it's bad enough or if it's a storm, they'll be like, hey, response times may be slow. And if you're hearing this on the radio and you're an adult, you go, hmm. noted, I'm going to go commit a crime. And if you're a teenager in Florida with a car, you go, I'm going to go to something very stupid.

So you go Tokyo drift around a suburb knowing full well, nobody's going to stop you. Absolutely nobody. So thank you for the police for doing that. Always announced that for me personally. Let's get some romance in here. Let's hear about 202. A forecast, no-day concession, hatred, president's day, Washington, D.C., 2003, I think, was 22.

I've been in D.C. about a year, but I was raised in the deep south and had never seen real snow outside of Colorado and ski resort. I was trapped in a row house with my then boyfriend who was from Delco, Pennsylvania, and all of his family roommates. And they all seemed to understand winter, but they didn't know the shovel. So I had no shovel, no boots, and no common sense. And I had a tiny Honda cord that was completely buried under the snow. And after three days of enduring their beer farts, I snapped and went outside and dug out my entire car by myself. And the only thing I had was a plastic Philadelphia Eagles plate that I had found in my boyfriend's kitchen. So it was just me, crouched in the street, scooping snow with NFC East merchandise.

I looked like a high-functioning raccoon and new balances in a North Base racket. The Honda survived. the relationship did not. And every time it snows, I think about that plate and my life's choices. And I think I made the right decision. Anyway, Hale-Raw. Hope y'all are staying warm. Bye.

Tammy, it sounds like you're being a little hard on yourself, but I got to say, in a snowstorm for anybody raised in the South, high-functioning raccoon is about the best you can hope to meet. That's optimal. That's a good bar to aim for. A lead performance. I had a 91 Honda accord and that some bitch was unstoppable in the snow. Really?

Can confirm. She was fine once she got in the accord. The first time I ever had to drive on snow of any kind, and I had a Jeep for high school and most of college, I was on an internship in New England, my first senior year of college. and I had a Dodge Stratus, and this was 2004, and there were blizzards from Massachusetts all the way up to New Hampshire where I was traveling. And of all the times when you want to try and drive on snow, when you've never really so much as had to drive on sleet in your entire life,

I can't recommend that you take this out for what I should unfortunately call a spin the first time. And that's also when I learned that it can get cold enough where your shampoo can freeze to ice crystals in the bottle if you leave your bag in the car. It's terrible up there. Y'all, y'all truly are built different. And I wish you hadn't brought this weather down here. Stop it. I learned maple trees explode when it gets this cold. Explode.

Oh, because the syrup expands in it? Yeah, the syrup expands and it causes the trees to explode. I don't know how violent the explosion are, but it was described as the tree. needs explode. It's got to smell incredible, right? I'm going to stand right by it and wait for it to happen. Shrapnel, painful, aroma, delightful. Coat means. I got a stack of flap jacks just waiting for an explosion here. Let's get sticky. That's $4 for the full cast Patreon. Get sticky, you dirty bitch.