Shutdown Fullcast - SOLOMON GUNDY, FIRED ON A TUESDAY

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Mike Gundy got fired on a TuesdaySpencer explains the legalities of the Tulsa Tussle and other Oklahoma labor laws How firing Mike Gundy is a lot like noodling Jason solves the problem by throwing a grenade at it. (Which problem? All of them.) Holly saves American transit and the ACC at the same timeThe new SEC Schedule preserves Mississippi State/Alabama at all costs Week five: Actually massive to the point of sensory overload. You'll live. This episode produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme by Corey CunninghamNow through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related itemsListen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existSubscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekendCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz, and his new show, PodcasterinoRun and do not walk to read Jason's critically acclaimed novel Hell Is A World Without YouDID YOU KNOW: Spencer writes Channel 6, a year-round newsletter mostly about football until it's not

Remember last week when Jason was talking about how, you know, the, oh, Devin Hester's kid is playing college football now. We're so old thing. It's kind of played out. Not anymore. I agreed with him at the time. And then I saw the phrase, Mike Gundy was hired six Doctor Who's ago. All right.

Let's go ahead and do this. So I made a comment about how long ago it's been that Mike Gundy got the job at Oklahoma State. Breaking news for listeners, Mike Gundy, don't, don't got the Oklahoma State head coaching job anymore as of this recording. We had somebody find out last week on Channel 6's Saturday morning live chat that T-Boon was dead. So this is faster than this is faster than we usually break news. Do you think it was, do you think it was Mike Gundy who found out that? Ah, shit. I don't know what he was doing. You know what? He was not busy on Saturday morning. So let's let's roll through some other Mike Gundy got the Oklahoma

heads the Oklahoma State head coaching job wins from K-butts Mike Gundy got the Oklahoma State head coaching job before YouTube before what on YouTube before all of it before all the YouTube's yeah from Hardy Wallbanger Mike Gundy got the Oklahoma State head coaching job

when Pope John Paul the second was still alive at so many popes ago. From Senator Giggity, long-time friend. Mike Gundy was named Oklahoma State head coach when Entourage had only finished its first season. And I added this. Gray's Anatomy had not yet started on the air yet.

Jesus, Christ. Now it was 700 seasons ago. None. Crazy Anatomy has been with you and your parents for their entire lives. somehow it had not started doctors for normal people with normal sex lives that's right that's right probably from don jenver tie willingham got hired at washington the same offseason mike gundy got hired at oklahoma state i added i will add to that this is the same year ed orgeron

started at old miss and it was also put it out to me that mike gundy's year one was year one for charlie weiss at notre dame year one for dave wansted at pit year one for Greg Robinson at Syracuse and year one for Ron Zuck at Illinois what the fuck how many Tennessee coaches ago was that Phil Fulmer was still coaching Tennessee but yeah that was 04 that was oh four so let's let's all just take a guess how many Tennessee head coaches have it's at least five that's six or seven because yeah that was the number the number during Sabin's tenure was like five so call it six yeah yeah do you know know what the funniest part of this is do you know how many total tennessee football head coaches there

were like before phil fulmer like six maybe he was number 21 but don't this goes back to like the random clutch of dudes in in from like 1889 what from from neelan from neelan to fulmer how many right correct so niland actually had three different stints there so he was he was technically coach 1113 and 15 but um Grover Cleveland as coach. If we're going to do like the modern era thing and call it like 64. Yeah. Between 1964 and 2008,

there were four Tennessee head coaches. Between 2009 and 2027, we have had, counting interims or no? Let's say... No, interim's cheap. Yes. Yeah, just count.

Okay, we've had five since 2008. Do you know who got picked in the 2005 NFL? draft do you know who the first pick was who sorry I was thinking about how two of those head coaches were almost Mike Gundy himself we could have stopped this Alex Smith did this Mike got to say the job right before the Aaron Rogers draft the draft oh there's the third person for the nightmare podcast rotation with Bruce Pearl yeah I mean Aaron Rogers uh is still in the NFL he is still in the NFL is still in the NFL this Mike Gundy so old, he's older than Aaron Rogers.

This is like our Chuck Norris, but nobody likes him. I am stunned that he got fired on a Tuesday. I have a question. Okay. Were Oklahoma State's power brokers fighting among themselves between Friday and Tuesday, or were they fighting with Gundy and his agents between Friday and Tuesday? So I will hear if it's the former. I'll give you my best knee-jerk theory.

They, Friday, Oklahoma State loses to Tulsa. First loss in Stillwater to Tulsa since the 50s, I think it was. It was a long time. Almost as long as Mike Gundy's head coach and Curry. Now that's what you want to feel old. And I think they said, all right, it's time to wind this down. And I, again, just guessing, I think they said, let's talk to Mike about a gentle landing spot. We can put you in this ambassador spot.

We can give you this sort of like thing. We'll let you coach out the season, blah, blah, blah. And Mike Gunney said, fuck all that. And they tried for days to sort of figure out how can we sort of make this peaceful and easy. It could be wrong. Could be that they just were like, fuck, we owe this guy $15 million. We got to go. Bank opens on Monday.

And the ATM only lets you take out so much. They've all been giving the max $400. I think the situation is each of them has been trying to wrestle him out of his office. And he is scrapping in a wiery. Yeah. So, like, you know, clinging like a wildcat. I bet he's slick, too.

Yeah, he's got like one, he's got one limb on each side of the door. He is a bit oily, I think. Yeah. In their Oklahoma law, you all have to engage in a Tulsa tussle. That means to rightfully remove me from office, not only do you have to take my contract, void it, pay me off. You've got to take me out of here like a man. That's right.

You're going to have to doodle me out of this office, you should have a bitch. David, it was unwise of him to cite Tulsa and Puzzle. If there's been a bit more Tulsa against Tustle, we wouldn't have had to worry about this. That's pretty triggering for them. Yeah, they're just sticking, they're just sticking gloved hands into the office one by one, like feeling around, feeling around. Feeling around the edges of the opposite, he's just biting? Bring in the Gundy Gigger.

The key is you've got to get him past the gills. If you get him past the gills, you can use that like a hook. They're behind his curls. You'll find him. It's like cutting out a big skinny tick. Well, he's dug in there. That's it. I guarantee you, they got a guy.

They're like, hey, man, you need to go call Randall. Who? Randall. He's my favorite. Randall, he can extricate anything. Yeah. I once had him, I once had him, I swear, 12 foot deep in a hole. Only, the only thing I was touching was his ankles, but he got it out of there.

I had a possum in my judenum, and he got it out. So Randall's in there drowning in Mike Gundy's office. There's an incredible thrashing going on in the bottom of the muddy pool that is. And then they drag him on out. We got him. I've never been in my Gondi's office, but I do imagine when you open it, it's like one of those habitats in Bass Pro shops. Oh yeah. Like you open there and it's just a pond.

He's happier this one. Welcome to Dagaba. He's got all the assorted Gundy sons and nephews in there. Hale, Gunner, Tandy 500. Rainbow Chard. Yeah. Zin Spearmint coming out of the walls. Gunner, too. Guns. Yeah, guns. Frank. Frank. Frank. Yeah, Big Frank. Big Frank. Dagmar.

I'll tell you what, though. Now that he's no longer in that pool, it's still water. Whoa. Yeah. If only we had one a little deeper. Yeah. Man, in 2005, Apple was like, here we go. It's the iPod. Nano get excited it's the same thing that you could swallow it on accident man what a time huh yeah baby uh i i would like to go ahead and just flash back to this though

that this is the man we have fired him he is gone he is now going to do a terrible podcast i guarantee you one of the worst things you've ever heard with the most incoherent political opinions. You're like, Mike Gunney's going to say things like, yeah, man, I think we need universal health care. And you're like, yeah, man, that's totally right, right on. Then he's going to be like, but women shouldn't vote. You're like, what? No. Because there's tradeoffs in politics. By universal health care, I mean aliens should have to get insurance. Space aliens, that is. Literally universal. Do you know in 2005, Mike Gundy was 38, not 40? Oh. That's heroin.

That's close enough. Under common core standards, we just round up. That's, that's correct. He is now 58. For our purposes, points on the board for Spencer Hall. Man, I, so I kind of was thinking, and I'll admit, I completely forgot that Spencer had picked Mike Gundy in the coach draft. But I was like, well, the way this is going, I'm sure Holly, who gets the field,

all the coaches that we didn't pick. I bet Holly's going to snipe one pretty soon here. Also, yes, that was a rule that that arose several days after the draft. A week later, so yeah, yeah. You're getting to know the mysteries. Bendy was picked seventh in the second round, Spencer's second pick. And, like, as discussed at the time, it was kind of a thing. This was before the Tulsa loss, all right?

But the reasoning at the time was, he's been here so long. Maybe they dragged this out. Maybe it's either an awkward thing or a big ceremonial thing. But no, it was probably you lost to Tulsa. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, and he's, you know, especially for somebody who has openly tried to get out of Stillwater on multiple occasions, who has gone deep into the interview process at other P5 schools more than once that he, I think it is a testament to his burrowing skills more than

anything like once he once he gets back like jason like jason said long very long tick surprising parts of his body are spiral oh no you just pulled out the body his head's still in there can't leave it this man this man oh shit man that's where the langilliers went but this man as much as anyone is responsible for our current college football playoff for better or worse sure because in 2011 Oklahoma State had a clear shot to a spot in the BCS title game they did but then they went to Ames and as the most important college football team in the nation the one the kingmaker the owner of fates the divider of souls yes the

child empress weavers of the past Iowa State said no fate Your road dips here, young man. Defeated them in Ames, thanks to a missed kick by Oklahoma State's kicker. They go into OT and they lose. And that sets up the most repellent BCS title game of all time, the unwatchable shit-grade LSU Alabama game. That was my first title game covering in person. An abomination to begin with because rematches are absolute apostasy

in terms of college football, a thing that should not ever be, but we were forced to watch a redo of one of the greatest games in the regular season history of college football. Should have been LSU Oklahoma State. Do you think people retroactively talk shit about the regular season game because of the rematch? Do you think that has a lot of people complained about LSU nine, Alabama, six, because they're unrefined heathens. You can't appreciate things that are.

beautiful. Yeah, right. Because they're not ready to be challenged by true art. Yeah, they were just bad at looking at things. And then it happened again and retroactively. They said, aha, see, we were right about the other one. No, you won't. You know it was a good game because LSU fans sarcastically applauded

when Jordan Jefferson crossed the 50. That's how you know it was a good game. This was the home, the first LSU Bama game was the home of the greatest piece of bull scouting scammery I've ever seen. because I at that first LSU Bama game I was not there I was in Birmingham

watching Case Keenan break Timmy Chang's passing record speaking of things that do not make us feel old in the slightest but Andy Staples was there my colleague at Sports Illustrated and he took a picture of the press box seating chart

at the LSU Alabama game can anybody pull up what they were ranked going into that game at the time Into the regular season game? Into that regular season game. Yeah, hold on. One, two, one, three, something like that. It was okay.

So Alabama was four, LSU was five. There was a pinstripe bowl scout at that game. Respect. I used to think this was the greatest heist I had ever seen a Bull Scout commit. And now I'm just like, you know what? Maybe that was just unbridled. Oh, wait. No, I did it wrong.

I was looking at the wrong ear. Never mind. Ignore everything I said. Okay. What? Isn't it 1V2? I thought it was, but maybe not that week. I can't remember.

But yeah, that should have been an LSU, Oklahoma State National Title game. That should have been Mike Gundy's best team getting to take on a team that you could still argue had a case to be the greatest team ever. It was one V2. I was so Mike Gundy-pilled that I was looking at the 2005 game. In strides. bowl. There's, you know, if we, and this news is, we're recording at like 2.30 on Tuesday afternoon. The day this happened, this news is like a couple hours old. But if I'm, if I'm like outlining the lines of his career right now, the thing that jumps out to me most looking back, just at least in

the short term, is there's a lot of shouldas in there. There is, there is so much fingernails width of falling off a cliff for this guy. I'd be mad too, maybe. I don't know. There are so many, like, oh, he's losing it. Oh, he's seven and five. And then, oh, oh, shit, the top 15 finish. That was the rhythm of it. They're going to be figuring nine 10 games in a row for three years. And then, ah, games passed by.

And I feel like, you know, it kind of reflects maybe what we're seeing at Clemson right now. But Gundy had so many comebacks. And then it, you know, stood to reason that this year, like, ah, they'll be fine, eight, nine, ten wins. But that might be a better comp for him for Davo than Nick. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, if you put. But if he changed just a few results, Oklahoma State could have played for multiple title games, just like Clemson did.

I think if the like, I don't know, not the 04, but if you make like the 2002, 2003 Dolphins make the playoffs and Dave Wonset doesn't resign in 2004, then this whole, it never happens. You never get the domino effect of Nick taking the Dolphins job, less Miles going to LSU, and, uh, I feel like you're just being mean to me now. No, no. Good afternoon to those of our readers just discovering that Dave Wonstek coached the Dolphins as well. We are breaking that news to you also. Yeah. Hey, a free sandwich is a free sandwich. It didn't do great.

I'm not going to lie. He didn't do great. I mean, he did the right thing. He handed the ball to Ricky Williams 40 times a game. That's true. And Ricky Williams had unexpectedly retired before the 04 season. So was this Ricky Williams all along? Was this all a Texas conspiracy?

Where's Ricky right? now where's wiki you are right now it's a great question actually where is he i don't yes is he behind me oh my god uh this is this is also by the way like this is also a guy mike gundy who i don't think i've seen a guy vary as much from being uh we found him universally entertaining and then suddenly absolutely did not i can think of some examples of this but Yeah, he's up there. This is a strong one. The Big 12 is really good at this.

I mean, we just mentioned Les Miles, so yeah. Yep, he's part of the line. Yep. Less Miles is. There's a lot in there for me of, uh, man, that guy was mean to Martin Rickman. Who the fuck does that? That was, that was, I think that was my line for him. Yeah. That's fucked out.

I think there's also this, uh, he shouldn't have lasted this long because it's Oklahoma State. he kept but he kept but he kept every time it was like oh time to go he no matter yeah no matter how mediocre it got at times no matter how sick of them he was no matter how sick of him they were no matter how badly he tried to leave they just it they could not quit each other until he lost to Tulsa at home yeah it took a home lot it and they to be clear there are other bad oklahoma state losses you can find in the last five years uh four and eleven over the past year and almost a half have not been an fbs team in a calendar year i believe lost a two straight by uh 50 something

so but but damn sure did beat oklahoma to end the bedlam series didn't me damn sure they did do that champs until the seniors and resume the series you cowards scared of o issue who own you forever that's not on me of that record that doesn't matter that's not important stop living in the past in bedlam and both of them is Oklahoma tucking tail and running because they got their asses who look. This is also a guy who I think teaches an important lesson that you should always hire somebody who's better at the job than you because at no point did Mike Gundy pretend he was smart and could do it himself.

He might have pretended he was smart and occasionally he might have said he could do it himself. He never did that at the same time. He ended up hiring a bunch of dudes who actually like all saved his job at one point or another. Todd Munkin, current offensive coordinator for the Ravens and former offensive coordinator for the Georgia Bulldogs. He was one of Oklahoma State's

like high water mark offensive coordinator. Dana Holgerson was the offensive coordinator at Oklahoma State. Note about that. Dana did not live in Stillwater. Dana commuted from Tulsa where he would raise hell and then drive to work in the morning and then drive back to sleep in Tulsa.

That's not... At a hotel. Yeah. That's not a short drive at all. Man. Sober up on the. drive yeah it's Todd Grantham's reign of terror continues though god oh is he the interim yeah you know no he's not Doug me Doug Meacham's gonna be the interim okay but if you want to get fired hire Todd Grantham correct you know where you know where Todd Grantham was last season

oh no Orleans Saints oh I thought he was saints who have a new head coach this season wait I thought he was there for two seasons because I remember being shocked that somebody stuck it out with Mike Gundy for two seasons uh no Saints were uh very Very, Grantham. Yep. Very much. Yep. A few years before that, Florida defensive coordinator, all know how that went.

Like, yeah, he's just, wherever he goes, he is the one who walks behind the rose, ready to blitz you out of existence. The ominous one. The delinger. Head into the harvest season. Thank you for that children of the corn two, the final sacrifice. Hey, you know what else there were five of? No.

Sequels to Children of the Corn Two, the Final Sacrifice after they called the Corn to the Final Sacrifice. They hadn't even make, they, Mike Endy got hired before they'd made a single Twilight movie. Not one of them was out yet. Which team do you think he's on? That one has teams, right? Humans. I think he's team human. Fuck all these werewolves and vampires.

Welcome to the shutdowns, and the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the internet's own. college football podcast i am spencer hall uh i'm joined as always by ryan anny jason holly anderson and michael server on the ones and twos what a momentous week we've had already you don't think you can get fired on a tuesday my gunty can that's how unconventional he is had to spend a whole day being like i'm so fucking mad at him i got to do i got to be mad for a day you know this couple days just steaming

Just steaming for three entire days. Have you ever been so mad you need two days before you could talk to somebody about it? Yeah. Oklahoma State's athletic director evidently was. Because damn, losing to Tulsa, I'll get you. Maybe I had to find Mike Gundy, like serving him papers, you know? Like we don't know which deer stand he's in type thing. Who's their new billionaire? They got one, right?

I believe so, but I don't know who it is. No. B-toon Pickens. Oh, two town pickings. Tiny town. The T actually stands for that darn cat. People don't know that. Dang, that cat knows how to run a business.

Took care of it. Give that cat a million dollar loan. Spencer's now the Secretary of the Interior. Yeah, that's what we got. I am, I have a note. I have a note here that just says this, Ryan. I want to ask you. Okay.

Because I'm curious as anything. Like a cat. Like a cat that runs the Oklahoma State Athletics Department. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Quick San. Okay. So there's a, I think John Mulaney has a little joke about how when you're a kid,

if you're a kid and you're our age, when you were a kid, you were led to believe that quicksand was one of the most. dangerous things that you had to keep an eye for at all times. Based on watching Looney Tunes. Yeah. Their quicksand was always around. I was just having this conversation with somebody. I didn't know it was a stand-up bit.

There's a video game equivalent for me that I just realized. I thought I was going to have to know how to use and be aware of electromagnetic pulse grenades a lot more than I actually do in my life. I don't, like, to the point where I don't even know if electromagnetic pulse grenades are real. I don't know if we use them. But playing video games in the 90s to early aughts, I was led to believe that I had to have 12 of these on my person at all times. And they could be used in a devastatingly precise radius, if it need be, to knock out one guard's communications, but leave my electronics totally unscathed. See, the lesson I took from grenade loadouts is that I needed to have my smoke grenades, my EMP grenades.

Stun grenades. Basic grenades, of course. Sure. You know, and like... It's a poison grenade. Like, I needed to have six different kinds of grenades. I could only carry four of each, right? Yep, yep.

It's impossible to have five grenades, even if you're like, no, this is the only kind of done all in on this kind. No, you only have four. You just can't mix. And I needed to have all of them, but I am only ever, ever, no matter the situation, no matter the enemy, only going to use normal grenade. It's a robot, stun it with the EMP. No, fuck that. You know it'll work on a robot? Regular grenade.

Smoke grenade and then run away. Or blow them up and change it. You know what makes lots of smoke? Regular grenade does. Perison them and then they'll die. You know what'll fucking stun them? A regular grenade? They're on the ground.

Stunned. It'll be real stunned when they're missing an arm, yeah. Ryan is doing the run duo of video game weapon calls. Run duo! Call it again! You need to modify your rifle so it can shoot their armor. I'll just shoot them in the face. Cool.

Can it shoot a grenade? Can I get a grenade on a launcher on the gun? Be sure you're wearing your brass knuckles. Yeah, I mean, like how often do you use? stop to rifle through your arsenal that's true like in the moment you're not going to be like hang on let me see what's in my you know let let me rifle on their color they're color coded give me a second i have just the choice hold on right this moment while i prepare the grenade i have chosen no you all get the same grenade yeah but i mean like i i i just i like quicksand is real

i accept that quicksand is real i don't encounter it but i've seen enough movies and and i i think i would know what to do. I don't know if an EMP grenade is real. I don't think it is. I think they just made that shit up, but I bought it. Huckling and the sinker. EMP, Grenade. eBay. Is there anything else that you feel that you feel that way about? Because as soon as you said, as soon as you started talking about things that you thought you would encounter in real life that you just never encounter at all, the one that sprang first to my mind made me think that we had very different, that we operated a very different video game ecosystems growing up. Because the first thing that I thought of was fires set in oil barrels.

Sure. Oh, yeah. That's great. Just oil barrels with fires burning in them. Just really thought that was going to be more part of the landscape. Yeah. And like maybe we'll get, maybe we'll get more dystopian and we'll sort of live in that Robocop Detroit type world where it's like, yep, got to get to, this is my fire barrel.

This is for me. No, I said one of those behind the house in 2003. Who, maybe we will one day start punching random wooden crates to find turkeys. I was, okay, I was led my weapon like that in video games. There's two things. My weapon like that in video games that I'm like, oh, this is some video game stuff because I'm sure in real life this doesn't work. What's the grenade launcher?

I do not mean the single barrel tiny grenade launcher, like the one that Arnold is. You mean the like the one was firing the whole grenade launcher. I mean, the barrel mount, the like, the gatling gun, the barrel mount, the like, Gatling style. Because there are video games that cannily play on this by being like, sure, try to use it indoors. See how that goes for you.

And it kills everyone in the room. And I'm like, these people know ball. Because in a lot of games, they're like, yeah, it's like a bigger gun. That's what it is. Sure. Works just the same. It's like shooting someone with a very hard beanbag. It'll hurt so bad. A non-lethal grenade. Yeah.

I think our EMP is real. Quora says no. Reddit says yes. Oh, no. Let the reader understand. Oh, my God. The two oracles disagree. The protocols don't tell us what to do.

Jeeves, the planet cries out for your return. But I do enjoy that there are games where if you're in Cod, for instance, and you're in a room with like eight other people, and you start. to doom, doing off the grenade launcher. Yeah. Everyone will start, no, you'll just see explosions to the left and right. Like, a idiot.

Like, is that thing they use in Oceans 11 to knock out power to Las Vegas? Is that real? Or is that just bullshit? The pinch? Is that real? Or is it like Don Cheadle's British accent? So the EMP effect is real,

and the only way that I know of that people have actually done it. From nuclear bombs? It's saying of a nuke. Right. Again. Right. need special grenade right a new grenade big enough fix all problem the other thing that i in this

discussion that i really tick that set off a bell in my head was this i believe that based on coming up with movies made in the 80s and 90s that if i took a barrel and if i started a fire in said barrel and i placed it on any street in america immediately six people in rags would immediately walk up and begin warming their hands by it or or somebody rolls up with a chain just whipping it around in a circle rate of the chain while the people gathered around the the oil can fire are singing that's right that's right like in rocky there is a doo-wop like quartet around one yeah do you know what i would do i would call all of you individually this is what social media this is what social media used to be let's meet at the fire barrel.

Not a phone insight. Just a fire. I would start. Buy some cigarettes from you get a call for me and I'd be like, holy shit, I found one. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.

They're saying, bring it back around a like roaring oil fire in downtown Philadelphia. Hang on, hang on. I'm going to put you on speaker. It's uptown girl. Billy Joel is here. He's actually here. Bill Joel is on fire.

on fire oh my god so i went to i went to one of these like uh extremely like fancy private dog park you know fetch where you you go in and you bring your dog and uh everyone gets a beer and they watch now they watch football it's very fancy okay it's fancy i'm not white enough to know about this it has astroturf right uh wait why do you know about this but because my son likes to go there and identify dog breeds. Not with a dog, just to, he just goes to scope out other dogs. I take my son there to taxonomize dogs. Okay.

To case the dogs, join. Listen, it's a long drive to the airport to spot planes, so we're, I understand taking this to a ground game. Yeah, he'll walk up and go, oh, is that an otter hoon? And they'll be like, oh, yes, how did you know? And he's like, I know many dog breeds. You know, and you buy a drink and you enjoy the scenery. A guy who was, and I'm not joking, this guy, they have live music at one of them.

All right. That sounds like hell. Are the dogs playing it? The dogs aren't playing it. It doesn't count. Are the dogs gathered around a burning barrel? Are the dogs jam? When you say live music, who's making it?

Yeah. Is there a dog playing bass? Isn't the dads who show up with their guitars? Oh, God. This sounds worse. It might as well have been. This guy gets up there and he's a very earnest guy with a guitar. what I've described his music as

a guy who gets up and sings a nice song about Georgia and then a nice song about the sun. That kind of guy. The kind of guy who's like, strummy-strummy-lala guy. Yeah, the kind of guy's like, I'm going through some things. Here's a song by an artist I think really conveys those emotions. And it's Jack Johnson. None of these

people have heard of blogs. Yeah. So he gets up there and he goes... Bring back Tumblr. Or just keep those feelings on the inside like a normal person. Like the Irish. Where they belong. all right so you're at you're at this dog band got it stomp them way down and this guy goes hey man

I've been really into this singer-songwriter lately Billy Joel and I there was I had to look up like he's fucking with us right like nope this is a throwback though because there was like a five year period where everywhere you went in this city Billy Joel was playing at you yes yes and I thought that was me that was

you tell me he did piano man on an acoustic guitar Sing us the song, you're the piano dog. No, he did a, he did a weird one, which was he did, he did my life, but on a guitar. I don't care what you say anymore. This is my dog. That's kind of a percussion piano number. I don't know why I'm trying to give this guy credit. He had a guitar in public and it means he has to be stopped. And I could not, like, I had to be like, can I hide? Can I go somewhere?

Because I'm rolling. You know what you needed? Hmm. EMP grenade. But it was an acoustic guitar. It doesn't matter. You wouldn't have not, in the confusion, you would have knocked out the lights. You've just answered your own problem.

A regular grenade. Regular grenade. Regular grenade, yeah. You need an AMP grenade. Acoustic guitars are invulnerable to EMPs. That's why you need the regular grenade. His grenade specially targets guitar strings. You'll need it.

Thank you, fool. They had acoustics. What happened to Spencer? Yeah, he threw a grenade at a guy in a dog park in Atlanta. That's Puzzle. That's Liquid Steve. You'll need these to beat him. Can I go to jail for getting a guy singing

Billy Joel in an acoustic guitar with a flashbang? Yes. Yes, yes, you can. I mean, you guys. can, but will you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sure. You'll go to jail. I don't know if you'll go to prison. Sure. I get it. This is what, no, this is what jury, Ryan, you're a lawyer. This is what jury know what a game's for. If you roll up to a judge and he couldn't read the charges about it. It says here you through a fucking flash prank at a Billy Joel singer. In defense, Your Honor, may I enter into the record this photograph of the of the alleged vicar? of the attack wearing a black button-down shirt and a newsboy cap. Tom served.

Just audio of the guitarist. The lawyer just says, listen to this shit. And then they just, you know, they let it all play out and he just hits pause and he's like, no further questions. You hear it, right? You'd throw a flashbang too, wouldn't you? Hell yeah, brother. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, which of you would not flash that?

The problem is going to be with the jury. going to be when the jury comes back there like we find the defendant guilty and you're like flashbag flashbag flashback this goes back to my discussion of what if you blow darted somebody in court yeah that that old chestnut what do you mean discussion it has long been a controversy we are we are returning once more to our longstanding fireside chat what if you blow darted in a series of letters i've written a series of letters i've written of the Supreme Court. We have debated every facet of this long philosophical quandary.

Like, the judge grabs his neck, collapses to the desk, and you're like, who did that? And I'm like, well, I don't know. I'm not saying this. I'm not saying this as a slight because I do think is a large part of your charm as a person. But you more than anybody else have the habit of saying something completely out of field, a lot of field, and then ending it with, you know. yeah i i would like if this was the missing federalist paper where it was like everything else was like on the subject of liberty of the common bad and one was just like what if you blow darted a dude in

court spencer's like citing case law boy dart v judge did this happen in franklin had written more federalist papers it wouldn't come up listen i can almost guarantee who wrote this federalist paper titled ass so big you can see it from the front. Oh, God damn it, Ben. In the case of Madison versus Knoxville. But yeah, if you just did that in court and they were like, who did that? And you're like, no, me.

And they're like, you're holding a blowgun, sir. Like, no. Circumstantial. It's called a circumstantial blowgun. Flash bang. Yeah. Flashbag. Flash.

Yeah. The minute somebody makes like, makes like a party. grade flashbang. Whoa, whoa, what kind of party? Yeah, that's, well, you know, one that goes off and is loud. Does it have like snakes? I think you're describing fireworks. I think you're inventing fireworks in 2025.

I was thinking like those, those cans of snakes. Those are fireworks. Paper snakes coming in, not the one, not the fireworks. Oh, not the fireworks. I also don't mean the usual kind of snakes that we're talking about at this time. There's a lot going on. We got a lot going on here.

What's happening? What's happening to any of us, really? Yeah. So we do, thank you for, thank you for giving us. Hey, you asked, man. I did. He did ask. I do want to note also that he asked because under

intro on the show doc today, a real thing that we have, Ryan has just typed Quicksand. I told Spencer to write Quicksand, and I said, don't ask me anything. I'll explain it later. All right, all right. The SEC has created, unspeakable horrors in the form of rival reasons due to our conference now having 32 different

teams not the funniest thing that happened in nine-game scheduling this no no we did you see the press release they put out about that the yeah on on that note that would be of course the ACC which forgot to add an 18th team or accidentally added three your choice either way having lopsided scheduling now um is this a good school is 10 times funnier than the SEC's thing frankly but also there are only so many jokes to make about it because the solution is you should get rid of the teams that aren't on the atlantic coast it's like they they could have just said if if if that's what they're going to do why not a 10 game ac c schedule fuck it blow it all up who cares it's the acc make what up as you go it's also like your teams are going to play 10

games against each other anyway. NC State's going to play Virginia in a non-conference game every year anyway. You're the only conference that does that shit. Well, the Big 12 had one. But granted, it's usually the ACC. All ACC teams should travel on Amtrak. That should be the only rule. And you should decide your schedules exactly a week in advance.

So if Cal has to play at Boston College. Where do I get the best car rental deal? You put two Cs in a cella and you brand this shit. done that's really too good at business too good see that's how you get it because you got literally barnstorming right like they're like yeah it's gonna take us 84 hours to get from it was just the bomb we went from like SEC teams being like I don't know why why do we have to play this team why aren't we playing this team to the ACC being like whoopsies are we did that funny it's like oh oh the big

conference play nine or else you're not a big conference we I can do that. Hey, I can do nine games. I'm a big boy too. Oh, no. Oh, no. The Big Ten's going to yell at us because it always goes up the SEC. Like the Big Ten gets the fuck about the ACS. Now you're going to let, now you're going to give me. After the decade of the Big Ten doing its pompous folding of the SEC, the ACC's like, we would scold it too. Now I get three, three playoffs spots, right? Right.

We'll play 11. We'll play 15. conference games, you'll see. They're like, they will somehow all. We're a very big boy. We're bigger than Big Ten. We still Big Ten now. I will say, I am waiting for the Big 12 to be like,

fuck it, 14 conference games with this is real football. You don't know shit. We're going to play 25 conference games and then call the ACC bitches. We should have known we were messing with a legend when the ACC created the concept of non-conference conference games. That's that we were all. I expected to just think was fine because they got real huffy when you asked them about that too. This is also like the ace, I feel like we're on year five of the ACC has to come up with some insane schedule.

Like, every year it's like, okay, turns out if your birthday is in June, you will play Georgia Tech, but. Notre Dame is here, but. It's all like, as everyone has said, like, what happens if one team goes eight and one, another team goes seven and one? And everyone has just concluded, like, they'll come up with a rule off. Yeah. The great part of this is as though as, you know, a person just dropping in parachuting into this situation might think that it is reasonable for them to brush off this concern. And then you remember how many times, however many teams in the ACC coastal went four and four at the same time. Can we get parliamentary about this?

Can we vote no confidence in the ACC? Oh, that'd be so ACC. I think that's a sure. I think that's where Florida State and clubs. and already did. Look where that got them. That brought SMU to town for no reason. Don't tell either of those schools they participated in representative democracy.

They're going to be mad as well. Oh, boy. This is one of those things where like due to part, due to like the various quirks of parliamentary procedure and policies and politics, you get some weird plurality. They're like, well, most important school in the world is Cal. Some, some Tallahassee lawyer is like, I knew I should have fucking blow darned Jim Phillips in the neck. I knew I should have done it.

In the courtroom. It would have been so cool, and the jury would have said, I went and give me a big kiss. It's really funny. Notre Dame is kind of in this conference, and they're the team with the schedule that makes the most sense. There's 37 rivals they never play,

and they're the one with the coherent schedule. Yeah. We need one team to leave in order for this to make sense, and Florida state's like, bitch, you don't even need to ask. Nope. We tried. We don't make us do it.

We tried. Three times. Escape the ACC video game for Sega Genesis. Maryland tried as well. Only several teams have beaten this. The problem is they're going to be like, Yukon, only you can make us whole. And they'll be like, fuck you.

We hate you. We don't want shit to do with you. Yukon, the team that is thriving despite, like, they're your friend with no utility? You're like, yeah, I don't know. He doesn't want to see water. If you're in a situation where the math don't work unless you have the Yukon Husky's football program,

you fucked up bad. You need to go back to an earlier same spot. Yeah, you need to reload when you had South Carolina. Okay, ACCC. First, you're going to uninstall the entire program. Like all them patches and mods you got installed, you got to clear all that shit out. Yeah, that's a mistake.

The fan of the ACC is wheezing, brother. You don't know about to just basic grenades, but that's fine. That's all you need. That's all you need. You're going back to win, like, all your teams were, like, two and seven before Florida State showed up. Yeah. Roughly 2005 is where you want to be. The ACC that South Carolina could win.

That's what we need. We need, like, the original. What a cursed phrase. Once. Yeah. It's real once. Happens. The ACC, NC State, almost won.

so while not that got me in the heart Jesus Christ it's true can I tell you my favorite on this schedule which goes through 2029 and we'll be reviewed for 2030

goes through 2029 is that you're talking about the SEC and the SECs yes the SEC's permanent opponents sure Greg we like to talk about real football which is why we had to talk about the ACC for 10 minutes before we addressed

the SEC sure sweetie Can I tell you my favorite polls, my favorite bits of poetry in this, keep three permanent rivals, and then everyone else can rotate and flow. Is one of those funny parts, they clearly went by the athletic pole? That is one of them. Okay, good. Yeah. The other funny one is this, that they did Arkansas, what I think was the most geographically correct and historically accurate. Yeah, I thought that as well.

Great. Like, it is funny. Arkansas showed up in the midpoint of various maneuvers, and they got the perfect list of three rivals from three different eras, Missouri, Texas, and LSU. It is. It is geographically perfect. It is concise. It is exactly what they need travel-wise. It is great for recruiting. It is great in every sense of the word except for this. They have to play Missouri, Texas, and LSU every year. Yeah. I think that shows more than anything, looking back at the Hogronomicon. this is an SEC office that is not good at many things and is dumb about many things but do you know what they know they know which school in this team or in this league to be afraid of putting a pipe bomb under their car they also they have spent so long they spent so long in the SEC west when the SEC west was hell it's like

this is fine they're used to it and i mean they're the league has said they're going to attempt to balance the other six games so like which i mean sure that'll i'm sure at some point that'll mean like yeah well arkansas's fucked anyway but um as noted they're pretty used to that but like i think just historically speaking this is they they came away with the cleanest tidiest list of three rivals is voluntarily scheduling notre dame arkansas is not afraid of death it might welcome death in fact they welcome yours yeah yeah all death all death is glory to hog every other team there's like a total oddball, the pinnacle of which is, of course, Oklahoma Ole Miss, who have played once in a regular season ever a year ago. Or they're like missing a semi-rivalor two, but yeah,

Arkansas is perfect. I also really like, like Lambloat to speak kindly, but I like the trio of teams they gave Georgia because they kept the South's oldest rivalry, Auburn. Then they kept us. So Florida's on there with Georgia. And then the third, South Carolina. Okay. I love that. Here's the thing. I have a proposition here.

Yeah. I don't think South Carolina should have any permanent rights. I agree. That's exactly what I was about to say. We have the same reason? You tell me and then we'll, we'll see how we line up. I don't find South Carolina. One, you know, history-wise, there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of really.

indelible shit with South Carolina, apart from the Clemson rivalry. A lot of people don't know that they haven't even been in the SEC that long. They have gotten fucked before on their cross-division rivals. We don't need to relitigate all that. South Carolina's primary utility, and it is what makes them one of my favorite teams to watch for the past, I don't know, decade or so, is they are the nation's premier chaos ankle biting team. And I just, I think, you need them in constant motion you should you should meet them as a ron you should look up your team's schedule and be alarmed to find that south carolina is on on it that year you should not go into me like and maybe it's like i don't know maybe maybe you make this like hey did

how many of your uh maybe you tie it to penalties i don't know maybe maybe you do some kind of like you know they're always trying to make the pro bowl entertaining maybe we put stakes to something or other Make it do the second harvest food drive in November and the last three schools in the conference have to play South Carolina next year. If you get fined for rushing the field, you know, no one gives a shit about losing money here in the SEC. Your third penalty is you have to play South Carolina immediately afterward. By week canceled. You play South Carolina now. The money in the bank match, right?

Like cocky comes running in. You're going to Columbia on a Thursday. Fuck you. Yeah. You'll never fake injuries again after this. The other great thing about this, too, is that South Carolina fans, the ones that I know, would be like, yeah, this is great. Yeah, that's awesome. We'll take it.

Yeah. We are the scorpion in your boot, bitches. No, I think that's exactly right. And as I said to y'all earlier, the Big Ten actually gets this exactly right by saying we don't all need an equal number of permanent opponents. Like, it's fine to say that some teams have history with other teams. that we want to preserve some teams don't that doesn't mean that doesn't mean they're not important and they're not fun to watch it's just not part part of what makes college football fun is that they're all different in these regards yeah and the idea of south carolina bus play three teams that

you will definitely remember year after year is so stupid and then i mean it's like it's a gradient between the cc being rigid and formulaic the acc being uh mer math math challenge and the big teams saying like There are games that matter that are not the same number of games that matter for every team. We've been grousing a lot lately and not without good reason about how this conference is just getting this sport is just getting planed down into an AFC and an NFC that we're building out of the SEC and the Big Ten. And one thing about this latest news cycle that has been kind of weirdly reassuring to me is like, oh, the ACC has proved that regional quirks do still exist. just all happening in the conference offices so that's like permanent opponents used to exist in the SEC not just like they used to be divisions you had a cross division as well but like your division was your permanent opponent i i wouldn't hate and i was talking to our friend josh black

about this i wouldn't hate if we just said there's four divisions now there's four divisions of four teams. Pods. Yeah. Pods. And they play. How long has it been? Now pods are the solution.

What year? Jason, what year was that originally? I mean, we did it every year in the SB nation. But if we got to, if we got to just call them divisions to make everybody happy, that's finally too. We're going to call them. You're calling them pods, right? Do I have to make content for them?

On the SEC network, every single year, you announce a draw where everybody gets a different group. Oh, no. No, no, no. It's, it's, you running man it. Yeah. You can make it like the World Cup trawl. Oh, no, I'm saying you kill people. Okay. Or you do that. That's also great SEC network programming. The World Cup kills people, too, Holly.

Peter Burns here. This man won't be alive at the end of the hour. Just thinking out loud. I think my favorites among these are, of course, Bama, Mississippi State, where the series record is 86, 18, and 3 in favor of Mississippi State, of course. that's a that's that's that's that's not true uh Auburn and Vanderbilt cannot escape Diego Pavia we're lashing you together has been awarded a 14th year of eligibility Florida and Kentucky we're uh y'all y'all be Kentucky 30 times in a row and now

Permanent rival one does Kentucky need any permanent rivals does missou need a permanent rivalry with anyone Arkansas. Okay, that's fine. I like Missou, Oklahoma. Okay, okay. Yeah. But like now that you're playing the Kansas series again, to your point, they're kind of in a...

But to be clear, Kentucky's on the verge of beating y'all five of the past eight. That's fine. Good. Let it continue. Let the 30-year revenge continue. You can make it six out of nine and beat us by 40. As long as you show Billy's dumb ass on camera. or half the time.

The other one I really, really like is Mississippi State Vandy, which is like each of them has, respectively Auburn and Bama, respectively a like, you're the schedule strength equalizer game, and then they get each other as well. And like, you know, in most years that'd be the last place game,

but this year's like, shit, they're kicking the shit out of everybody. I wouldn't mind watching that game. They should have just snuck, like, they should have just quietly been like, One of Mississippi State's permanent opponents is UCF. Just see if anybody knows. We have onboarded UCF.

I'm not scrolling down all the way of the bottom of that chart. That concludes our discussion of the SEC pods, which is the way we should do things. Can we just call them pods? Yeah, there you go. It's pods. This is, you know, since everyone finally caught up to Jason and Bill from 10 years ago. Yeah. Hey, I, sir, I did want to do one more thing.

We had longtime reader Gaknar, sent a point. post to Ryan over the weekend that I thought was very interesting. Actually, this is a reply to Bill Connolly. Looking at the CFP based solely on resume SMP, don't panic. After four weeks is, and he lists all the pairings. And Missouri is in the playoff in Bill's current resume S&P plus after four weeks. They would be playing Penn State, and the winner of that would be going on to face Florida State.

And Gagnar points out that what we thought was a favorable. in quotes, schedule back in the summer, has suddenly gotten interesting. They have UMass this Saturday, and then they have the following run of teams. Alabama at Auburn, at Vanderbilt, A&M, Mississippi State, at Oklahoma, at Arkansas. I still think that's pretty fine. I got to say. I understand that there are a lot of ranked teams, on here but like yeah rank teams auburn vanderbilt and texas a and m just like we drew it up i yeah i'm

not yeah i honestly looking at the computers right now the games in which missou would be an underdog okay bama um at oklahoma but otherwise it's a lot of coin flips yeah yeah that is because missouri has ascended and as missouri respectors we don't get no no got I got it. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I respect these guys so much. Respect them so much. This is the schism, huh? This is what finally does it. He's trying to get drink to Florida. That's what's happening. Hey, this is no time to be making enemies. Spencer is ready to root for a winner. God damn it. No time to be making enemies. You're going to hate that if it happens. Hey, Lane Kiff, it's manageable. I am with you. I am with you there. There is not a Florida hire that could happen.

Spencer couldn't end up hating not possible all of them no I could all yeah no yep you could give me eight seasons of 10 plus wins in the ninth if you're at like eight wins I'm like I don't know man that's great because then February comes around and in a casual offhand remark are you reading recruiting rankings you start calling the coach by their first name again yep yep um before so we are it's 209 p.m. Central time 3.09 p.m. Eastern time as you record this can we get a quick rapture update from everybody here

present good halfway up here but as soon as they discover I've snuck my way in I've faked my credentials oh my gosh just out of date let's put it like that let's just

fire they're going to throw me back down I'll tell you that system's still compiling you should hey wait a second here hang on Everybody, nice try. It was, of course, raptured earlier today, but. One of those moments where I was like, oh, we grew up very differently when I saw people,

you know, for good reason, wandering or wondering last night, whether, you know, hey, what happens to people's like teeth fillings and pacemakers? And I was like, I was like, flexing my fingers and ready to be like, oh, this is what happened. And then I'm like, none of y'all, none of y'all read left behind in the 90s, did you? Okay. A lot of people did, though. Moving on. people did um can i i guess it it startled me in after a second that i was like oh i have all those answers

immediately to hand and i should probably examine that at some point um can i do the podcast business song this week i have a different one i want to do i am seeding it to you in honor of the rapture come on in okay here we go bubba podcast business podcast business podcast business you're here to buy and we're here to sell and you weren't raptured so you're going to hell Talk, top, talk. Lovely, that was lovely. I'm a podcast business. What's that business?

Can I sell a rapture item, in fact? Please. Can I grift off of the rapture? Brother, please. If this wasn't literally made for this moment, I don't know what made for this moment looks like. So I have, as many of you know and have experienced, have a novel called Hell's World Without You.

It is really good, critically acclaimed, sold a lot of copies, way more than, way more copies than New York City Publishing Industry, thought it would. And that's not a brag. That's just a fact. It also has an e-book spin-off annotated edition in which I wrote a spinoff novella set after the rapture. It's kind of a smart-ass version of Left Behind, honestly. It's kind of a Sean of the Dead of Left Behind in which four of my favorite characters, if you've read the book, you'll know who they are, Alexa, Bobby, PG, and Corey have missed the rapture, ex-evangelicals, and an atheist in that group. And one of them and kind of two of them, but mostly one of them grew up like me, an expert on rapture

Laura Rapser shit, right? Very cognizant of all the things that should be happening according to prophecies, and yet she has missed the rapture. So, yeah, it's a lot of fun. It's in this e-book available at shutdownfulbooks.com, only shutdownfulbooks.com. It's $3. It's also got hundreds of footnotes and behind-the-scenes details and FAQs and so forth on Hell's World Without You.

It's one of my favorite things I've ever written, and I don't know if I'll ever finish it as a novel, but it's a really good novella right now. Shutdown fullbooks.com. Bobby is my favorite. Hell is a world without you character. Highly endorse purchasing additional Bobby content. We also have a bit of timely, uh, timely promotion to do. This is the last chance for PTKU merch, no? Well, sort of, Spencer. This is the last chance to purchase PTQU merch and have that merch be donated to our official airline partner partner that is mid-south trans nation out of Memphis. We are recording this on September 23rd. You have through a week from the day we are recording this, six days from the day you are listening to this, maybe September 30th to purchase

PTKU themed merch items at our store, pre-owned airboats.com. Every dollar, every dollar, not a portion not proceeds from every dollar we make from PTKU merch goes to support a local or regional trans rights organization. We change those organizations up quarterly. So next episode, what you are going to hear is two things. You are going to hear, oh, no, you won't have a donation total because we're going to be selling through the next day we record. But two episodes from now, we will announce that donation total to mid-South Transnese.

in Memphis. Next week, what you are going to get is a sneak peek at who our Q4 organization will be. So the merch sales will continue. We will have new merch items next quarter. If you haven't taken a look at it lately, we have a brand new Camelback water bottle this corner. We have a notebook. We kind of went with a back-to-school theme for the fall quarter. So you can purchase it alongside non-PTKU merch items, that's fine. We'll do the math on that later. But every blue shark's item you buy from our store for the next six days from the time you're listening to this will go towards our Mid-South Trans Airlines donation. I'm also matching that donation 100% because I've been in a real

bad fucking mood about how we're treating our trans siblings in general. So, you know, make this hurt. We gave $500 to the Iowa Transport Hotline last quarter. And we are well above that. So how much money do you want to take from me? That's a nice little bit of motivation for you. Damn. But what if people wanted to give money to you? Well, I don't know.

That's what Spencer's here for. That sounds like men's work. That's right. That's right? What a piece of shit. What else is no? Instead of an ally, am I? You want me to answer that on the mic?

I'd rather you not. Okay. It sounds like men's work. That's right. Now he chooses to be a good improv partner. Now, I heard my name and you said something nice, so I'm asking. Listen to her blah, blah, blah, blah. You're the color of your shirt.

Just talking about herself. It's time for men talk. Oh, Jesus. I'm a Spanish society. Channel-6.ghost.io, that is the website for Channel 6, our newsletter that Holly and I publish. Two things a week for $10 a month. We are currently in the swing of the season, which means that you get the top whatever, which is our summary, overview, and commentary on the weekend's action in college football.

You will also get in your inbox an invitation. That invitation will say, hey, sexy person, would you like to have a pregame talk with Holly and I? Every Saturday at 11. You're asking for your questions. But we will talk about the games to come, and you don't have to watch all the other shit that's on. You can just hang out with us. Doesn't that sound nice?

You'll get an invite to that, you sexy bitch. Anyway, channel six. Ew? Channel six. Does it really say all that? They're calling it the most canceled promo of all time. That's right. Man promo.

Man stuff. Ladies subscribe. I think it's worth it. In the interest of not, in the interest of not putting home field right after that, I will go ahead and promote fits a little buffer. I'll promote Fants of Island this week, our Wednesday episode is Stephen and I talking about the death of Thursday night college football. we asked for some reader submissions for great Thursday night college football games of years come past and Spencer and Holly you both I think you both have one on there I will say we had to make an edit to it because for some reason Stephen godfrey thought baby on burning was a Thursday night game but it was not that was not the case it wasn't even never mind we regret the error Stevens first um we're apparently calling

Stephen. That's Hollywood, Stephen Godfrey. That's Hollywood. Stephen Hollywood Godfrey, yes. You can listen by looking up Phantom Island, wherever you're listening to this podcast. And if you want to support the show for similarly $10 a month, with some options up from that, if you

so choose, you go to Phantom Island. We have more fun things coming for you, many of which are not about football at all. Now it's time to talk about with the appropriate amount of distance between whatever Spencer did and our one and only sponsor on this show, Homefield Apparel, I have open, and I'm wearing right now, are you all familiar with the core collection at Homefield?

Godfrey was actually the one that got me into that. So Florida stinks, and I have a lot of Florida shit, and it's real depressing to go into your closet or your drawers or whatever and be like, hey, well, don't want to wear out any of this in the world and remind people that I root for this terrible football team that can't do things right. Don't want people to know that I'm excited about. Team that must call time out after getting the ball on a turnover on downs. So that's why I'm going to recommend you look up the core collection on home field. What is it? It's t-shirts and long sleeves, hoodies, crue necks, joggers, all the comfortable homefield stuff you're used to. But without any

graphics whatsoever. You can blend into the world and no one needs to know who you root for. That's not their business. That's a HIPAA violation if you ask me if I care about Florida Gators. You're not allowed to note that. I can just wear an orange shirt and maybe it's for Syracuse. Maybe it's for Virginia. Maybe it's for any number of ACC teams with orange that have a better record than Florida, Clemson. You're not my supervisor. That's right. I pay Texas. New Gators chime in in unison. I paid taxes, and I paid for this comfortable, long-lasting, unaffiliated with Florida in any way, shape, or form,

core collection t-shirt at homefield apparel.com. Do they have stuff for your... Yeah, you know they have stuff for your schools, okay? You know that. You listen to this show. Don't act surprise. Pay attention. All right.

I trusted you. All right. I'm all worked up, so somebody else has to tell them, the Fulcast as a Patreon, folks, we have, let's see here. Last time I refreshed, we have well over 7,000 subscribers on our Patreon. Don't you want to be in that number of folks who have access to our not only recordings of our After Dark episodes, which go up more quickly than they have in many seasons past. You also have access to, I've had six beers today, access to a number of,

additional bonus episodes, including the two-hour Arkansas special, which we've talked about, like, hey, there's a lot of stuff in college football history that perhaps we should do that kind of treatment for. I'm looking forward to doing more of those later. And we've been a couple of other fun bonus episodes as well. There's, I'm just going to guess, I'm just as a guess, all right? I'm going to guess there's 10 hours of audio on our Patreon so far on this thing we launched, like, two months ago-ish, something like that.

That's a total guest. Don't hold me to that. It might be more. It might be less, it might be more. But it's $4. You can pay with everyone. If you pay significantly more than $4, you can consider yourself a mega booster. And who doesn't want that?

You know what I mean? And we don't have to risk Spencer having to do ad reads for other companies with whatever his Spencer brain is going to say. That's right. You're just a bitch. $4. All right. Play us out.

It's a great time for us to be sharing a mic. This was, by the way, it is 322, so I want to offer this. The September highs Maryland's we can do next week if you want, because there is so much fucking shit on the schedule. There's more September. There's a whole week of September. We'll hang on to it. Well, apologies to that one Maryland fan.

Yes, we will do it. And Maryland wins. Yeah, yeah. Spoiler. We'll be honored. Don't worry about that. Maryland wins the September Maryland Award. Well, Maryland has a buy next week, so they're going to be...

Moreland has clinched a spot in the September of Maryland. The September highs Maryland. I would... Very brief... Okay, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Yeah. So, because there's so much stuff, I would like to go ahead and move that we look at...

Oh, because this schedule is jam-packed with information. This is the first big whopper of a weekend where I'm like, oh, God damn. I don't really know how I'm going to watch all this. Yeah, I'll... I got to leave in just a minute, but I'm going to drop a fact off with you, all right? I'm putting this in the until Saturday newsletter, subscribe today. It's the biggest college football newsletter in the world. That's true.

There are 12 ranked teams out of 20 going on the road this weekend, which is a lot. The only two weekends of the entire season that have more is like week like eight or something in Thanksgiving weekend, right? So this is a special weekend. It's the first one of the year with anywhere near that kind of ranked teams in peril status. And this is one of my favorite sentences I've ever spoken. loud the only two seams that are safe in terms of they have points spread the only two ranked teams that are safe in terms of they are playing and their point spreads are more than like 10 points or so are missouri and vanderbilt sure damn the only the only two

ranked teams that are playing that like can't lose vandy is one of them they got utus and maryland of course and of course not playing but of course they are locked in You know, they're not ranked deeper. Maryland is always battling in my heart. That's right. Okay, bye. We bemoaned the death of Thursday football, but it's not entirely dead because, my God, what a midweek special this is. Army at East Carolina.

I just wanted to say, someone's still doing it on a weeknight for you, and it's our hardworking troops. There will not be a drunker game this year. This is literally Soldiers v. Pirates. It should be drunk as shit. Yeah. Army, they've got a bit of a rough patch. They need woke. They need to bring the woke back.

They're fine. They're undefeated. They're undefeated in regulation. That is correct. That is correct. But they brought woke back. Come on. They might just be undefeated.

So if you wanted your week, if you wanted your weeknight special, if you're hankering for that, if you're like, listen, I'm tired of the NFL on Thursday nights. I don't need to watch the Browns versus the Browns. Guess what? You can watch Army on EC. I love hankerings. The Friday night schedule, surprisingly robust. You have Florida State going on the road to play Virginia. You have TCU at Arizona State, actual good game.

If you want like your Friday Big 12-Banger classic, this, this is a suspect. You don't think Florida State Virginia has potential to be a good game? I do think it has potential. Okay. Why don't you think Florida Virginia is going to be a good game? I do think Florida Virginia is going to be a good game. Oh, sorry. I thought we were. Yeah, it'll be a good game either way because I can, I can watch Florida State blow out Virginia.

A possibility, sure. A possibility, which is very entertaining the way they play, right? Like, they are, they are an extremely amusing squad. If you watch the way they do things, it's very fun to watch the Gus Bus in action again. But this might be tight. So far, and I understand they haven't played an opponent to the quality of Florida State. but so far Virginia has been able to put points up yeah and and while I don't think that means like yes they'll definitely win I think that increases the likelihood that this will be entertaining

entering the third quarter yeah don't listen the second half special man like this will give you at least a half of entertaining football I predict at least like that feels that feels like that feels like an ask also it's my guy Chandler Morris who I coached at North Texas now the quarterback at Virginia he's given them a shot like he's at least given them enough of a go to say okay this will be competitive. Am I bleeding? A little bit.

Just a little. I don't think you'd have ended. All right. And then Houston and Oregon State I think you can't skip that. That's fine. Mm. All right. Yeah, okay.

I sense you think I'm making a mistake. Oh, I just feel like you would have learned after last week that we don't talk. We don't say to skip games. Respect the opponent. Where's that opponent, respect? Do you remember us telling, Spencer explaining to his kids how you don't ever say, oh, this week it's going to be boring or oh, we're going to skip these games because then something weird happens?

In that same dinner, several minutes later, I don't remember how this happened. One child was asked to do an impression of a businessman. I do not remember how this came up or without missing a beat. He goes, he holds up his hand kind of like Mangia style and he goes, ha ha, I don't Don't pay taxes. Understood. That brings us to number 21 USC going on the road to Illinois. Thank you.

Getting that ball. On Saturday morning. Is that the big noon game? That is the big noon game. Yep. I love watching USC play at 10 a.m. This is, I like the big 10 games that feel like you had to get on a train to get here. Man, what a bummer for USC play at 10.

that Illinois looks so bad in the knee in a game that if they win this game by 30, Everett, it'll be like, so what? Hoosiers did it first. Fuck you guys. Not impressed. Listen, until proven otherwise, I'm just going to assume that Indiana is just 30 points better than every team they play, and the rest of us can just, you know, operate as we were planning to.

That's right. And Notre Dame, fearful of USC coming to their home state, flees for the gentle shores of Fayetteville, where they will play Arkansas on the road. A normal thing that should happen. on September 27th. I kind of meant I'm not going to this game. This is home field presented by Madelo. I can't miss kickoff tour stop, though.

So if you're going to be in Fayetteville for this, go look for their pop-up shop. I think they're like raffling off like baseball, a college world series ticket. I think a national championship ticket. Like there's some good stuff there. So you should check it out. indeed um i just want notre dame fans to see the statue that's it just see the gigantic statue of augs and be like where the fuck are we so the flip side to september maryland is this is also where we are reaching for some teams like oh no this is your last chance to get it together i am looking

specifically at ucf at kansas state also a noon eastern game on fox sports one kansas state has had a terrible start to the year a miserable start to the year their own they have no fbs wins their only win against the university of north dakota very narrow easily could have been a loss if they lose to scott frost ucf like ucf is not bad this year i it's not shameful but to drop to one and four at that point would be a okay there is no hope for this season kind of deal and they kind of entered into this year in a weird situation too when you think about they kind of entered as a media darling you know we've had we have had national flirtations with Kansas state before but it's been a minute and then you know Chris Kleinman comes in and they've just kind of had a glow about

them so far yeah UCLA at Northwestern at 330 Eastern is the king of the oh no you must win this one or not no treasure lies before you I would also going back here, keep an eye on, this is my plot here. Indiana at Iowa. Okay. Okay. Because frogier than you think. Iowa, yeah, like, I mean, that game will be more lively than one might think either way. I don't think it'll be an Indiana blowout. And I do not think it will be Iowa stultifying and, like, turning into a turtle for four quarters. They needed much more offense than you would have thought to beat Rutgers. They had it. Yeah, and they had it. That's true.

Yes. And they had it. Sorry, I didn't mean to sound angry. That game just panicked me on a spiritual level. Grownowski has given them a dimension on offense they had not had before, which is quarterbacking. And they need it because they're not defending quite as well. Like Rutgers threw on them and threw very effectively for about two and a half quarters. if you want SEC choices in that time slot as well

what intrigues you more and I genuinely want to know Auburn coming off a close loss to Oklahoma a close fairly sloppy loss to Oklahoma going on the road to play Texas A&M or LSU Oldness It's LSU Oldness Much of a vibes mismatch I know I'm going to watch

Auburn A&M, which is I'm going to look over. I might watch a quarter, right? Like if the half of LSU Old Miss doesn't line up perfectly, I'll flip over there. But the one I'm watching is LSU Old Miss because, one, I like to watch Brian Kelly lose. Like, sorry to this man, but not. And also, I love Trinidad Chambliss on a level that I haven't loved

and out of nowhere quarterback in a while. Go look at, like, he's got over 800 yards of combined offense the last two games against some decent to good teams like he wrecks shop at two he's like a 300 yard passing 100 yard rushing guy he is their leading rusher in both games he is passing brilliantly they're beating the shit out of people like thus far now admittedly this is a step up but if if trinidad chambers has to start i'm not exactly sure of the injury status of austin simmons but if he has to start it's shocking how good he's been we argued for this on Saturday. I would keep them in for the next two games. They've got a buy too, I think,

between this game and their next one. So, like, I could definitely see him being kept in for this weekend. Either they work on the transition back to Simmons in the bye week or shit, man, put a quarterback battle back on its lane. Rotate both. Rotate both. I will not complain. They've got who they have, don't they have like wazoo coming up man I know no this is this is meant to be no disrespect to Austin Simmons that was very unfortunate what happened to him I would like to see more of trying to judge yeah right as of as of now it is undecided I almost said Trinidad James as of now it is undecided which one you will start if you want to know

where the shenanigans and charade stage of the game is going last week against Tulane Lane Kiffin trotted out Austin Simmons during warm-ups, like a full warm-up, had him throw passes and then put Trinidad Chambliss in, just to fuck with Tulane. Will he do something similar against LSU? Have you met Lane? Above and beyond. With a coach that you know you can prod into emotionally reacting?

Yeah. Yeah. One other factor in this matchup that I find very entertaining. If you know Lane Kiffin's Instagram like I do, which is like the back of my hand, the map of a man's soul one installment at a time on instagram stories what happened to the back of your hand it's filled with all kinds of poorly attributed inspirational quotes i don't think gondy said let's go how does live laugh lane figure into this uh it does because he typically talks about his uh his daughter as being him thus antagonistic kind of trolley um like the daughter

Which daughter? The daughter, Landry, daughter, the daughter who is your first hater, right? The daughter who hard launched a relationship with a opposing team's quarterback this week. The week of the game! Like, well played. The strategy, the strategy gene got passed down. Now, now, listen, I have one, I have one dangling theory to offer. Yes.

So, you know, the discussion immediately after this was, well, is this meant to throw off LSU? Is this a ploy by LSU to throw off Ole Miss? Is this a ploy by Ole Miss to throw off LSU? I think the more sinister prospect here is what if it's genuine and then both teams have a problem? That's fine. Yeah.

That's fine. That's by far the funniest outcome as if this is not bait. That is fun. Yeah. Lane said take the over. Oh, I'm sorry. He's not a quarterback as he's a defense of that. Wait weeks, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. sorry, which is also, that's also what kind of made me go, huh, is this real? Because do you know what, do you know what Landry has very smartly brought into the fold in this boyfriend, a boyfriend who cannot be positioned coached by her dad? Good looking out. Yeah, smart. Good looking out young lady. He can be targeted, though, repeatedly by the passing game, so.

Just listen. Listen, like, that's the plan. Maybe that's the plan. they're like everyone's everyone's young they're very cat can play i don't know if i would target him like that i don't know that i would go after him i would just be like all right take landry then going over the top where do we stand on this i think this is a more interesting game than maybe it looks ohio state at washington um Washington's been what have we sure it's kind of flown under the radar this year the teams that they have played they have beaten the crap out of and they have done it very efficiently that is that would be why they have

They're under the radar, yeah. Yeah. But they've done it very efficiently. They're good, but this is the first real team that they're going to play. On the other hand, this is an Ohio State offense that is still very much in Baby Shambles' Wobbly Deer territory. It is still figuring out what it is and still getting sane involved in the offense. So I don't know. It's a tough.

I think it's a tougher road trip than it looks. Yeah, I'm open for that possibility. Yeah. Also, DeMaulam Williams at quarterback is so cool. He's the coolest. Like, I know Ohio State might have him in hell. It should be pronounced demon if we're going to do that. Damon. Damon. But DeMont Williams is absolutely incredible. He is so fun. Like a classic, if I told you like 5-11 dude who is just all over the place, like in that very like Joe Hamilton kind of. mode that is absolutely what demon william that's name i haven't thought about in sometime no hamilton baby okay all right um the three the like the three o'clock window has these like big games and then there's it's just peppered with sort of like hmm like i don't think i think utah should be able to beat west virginia pretty handily at the same time like

utah's got to go all the way to west virginia and that's just weird and different at the other so yeah both of these teams have also thrown off weird sparks yeah in the past couple of weeks um utah with an unexpected loss west virginia with some disastrous losses and a clawing backyard brawl win i have no idea what to make of this game um i think no outcome would surprise me here baler desperately needs baler is also in this category of like boy you really better beat oklahoma state because otherwise it's going to be a uphill battle to try to get back into the Big 12 race and also Oklahoma State literally just fired their coach so you should do you should do that Tennessee at Mississippi State I I'm sure this game has happened before

I'm not going to say it hasn't I can't remember a Tennessee at in a Tennessee game in Starkville ever like it doesn't stick out in my memory which is famously poor at least I've never been Hang on Let me look Y'all talk Like I'm like I said I'm sure it's happened

But I cannot Yeah we were never We were never cross division We were never cross division Designated 2012 I'm saying they won in Starkville But yeah that's the last time Before that

They played in 2007 Yeah So every five years it looks like Roughly they played there Yeah but there's only been one two like in this century there's only been three games

in Starzful between these days and I put my marker down on this game last year and I stand by it like we there I don't I don't want to play this team they're going to be a pin in the eye I don't this is if we still had divisions think of this as the

think of this iteration of Mississippi State I want to be specific under this coaching staff as like bad vibes south carolina yeah evil wario south carolina i don't know what appellation you want i don't know what adjectives you want me to put in front of jeff leby that we can put out on the air no i i hear you i got you it's it it's like it's a game that you know and the south carolina version of this game i look forward to because i'm like oh what colors is this scorpion bite going to turn on my arm um but you know he's such a I think I

I understand your motherfuckers that I can't really enjoy myself I unintentionally discovered that this maybe used to be a neutral site game played in Memphis like back in the day in the 1960s. Oh, I don't remember that at all.

I'm seeing in 19... I wasn't alive that Spencer was. Yeah, yeah. Spencer, tell us about 1979, 1978, 71. Dude, did this used to line up with the rodeo at the Liberty Bowl?

Yeah, I'm wondering is there a fair rodeo like situation happening. Honestly, if they did that. Welcome to Cousin Fight in Memphis. If they had Cousin fight with a rodeo and this game, dude.

That game doesn't have to be in Memphis to be a cousin. We can do that at the Dollar General Puckia. We have Cousin Fight at home. Cousin Pli lives in your heart all year long. Seems perhaps more than any other at succeed program. Have Cousin

flight at home. Let's move to the evening slate. I do want to point out real quickly, Arizona going to Iowa State. Arizona is not ranked, but Arizona is undefeated so far. Noah Fafita, continuing his

rampage. Yeah. So this is nasty. So I think that will be a fun. I think that will be a fun test and also a useful early like 12 separator of sorts. But Ryan, I found an error. I can't believe this. It's on the LSU Football.net schedule.

What is it? There is an error. That can't be right. Unless I'm wrong. And Minnesota and Ohio State are playing a double header and then play each other at night. I don't believe that. That would be so big time. That is next week.

But man, what a commitment if they decided to do that and honor America. Yeah. I was playing two football games. PJ flex down. He likes to be so on board with this. They never say that about football games. They're not like, baby, let's play two. They're like, we're done.

no nice this is real football um Oregon at Penn State Alabama at Georgia just so many feelings going to be happening uh do we want to do I'm not even sure that we want to look directly at Penn State right now we'll get back with you guys on Saturday night I I could go either way with it honestly oh no I just mean Penn State fans I don't want to like I don't think Penn State fans want us to do that yeah yeah I think I think Penn State fans want us to wait until this game is over and then decide if they want to deal with us or not and that's fine yeah yeah we're here we're here for you i i i see you but i do not perceive you i hear you and i respect it i have no vibe read whatsoever on alabama at georgia none like i couldn't i don't know what to make of it

at this point i kind of think that it's georgia and not close okay i'm not really sure i don't think we have any way of i'm not saying you're wrong i'm saying I'm not sure we have any way of knowing because I Georgia, Georgia didn't play their best at Tennessee one anyway. Alabama clearly has not completely gelled. I'm not sure how you can reasonably predict an outcome here. I have an answer. Okay. It's this. It's Georgia's offensive line. Okay. Georgia's offensive line, the one that we caved the whole right side of in the entire time and it didn't fucking matter. On pass protection. No, but it didn't matter.

This is what I'm saying makes it hard to predict. The times when their right tackle would just vanish into the ether, and then he would complete a pass anyway. How can you, like, just let me put on my Sam Neal hat for one moment. How many possibly you can't really get to expect? I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying I don't, I have no idea how you can say with certainty that you know. I have, this is all relying on a big uncertainty, which is this.

They need to run the ball 50 times again. If they run the ball 50 times again and have a similar game plan as they had against Tennessee, then I think they're going to be just fine against Alabama because to me, Tennessee is offensively a more dangerous team than this Alabama team. And I think that Georgia is not going to very much from that because it worked so well. That's why Gunner Stockton, have them throw 20, 25 times. Don't get any higher than that. Don't get behind.

That's it. This begins a weird stretch for out. like it feels weird to talk about this for alabama but you know we talked about what mezoo schedule looked like we've talked about florida schedule etc but this starts a stretch of six out of seven ranked teams that they currently ranked teams that they have to play and the one that isn't is south carolina on the road so like this will yeah yeah i don't um that means a lot coming from you with this florida schedule. I will say this. I think the loser of this game will be angrier than the loser of Oregon

Penn State. Yeah. Whoa. I feel pretty confident in that. Yeah. I don't know, man. If the loser of that game is Penn State, I don't know. I think Penn State can talk themselves into, Penn State is sort of accustomed to like, yeah, we don't usually win these games, but that didn't matter last season. We still went to the Big Ten title game. We still made it through the playoff. Like, I think the path is still there for them. They can't, I think if they get manhandled at home by Oregon, if they get blown out, they'll feel very bad. And, you know, if the passing offense looks like shit, it will be like, fuck, the problems

are there and we're not going to get them fixed in time. But if they lose a close game, I think they'll be like, that's, you know, it sucks, but I don't think it will be like the world is ending. I'm not saying this to torment them. Do you think psychically a reasonable loss would be easier for them? because then they're like, okay, the pressure's kind of off. Maybe. The pressure's off, but we're still in it.

Maybe. And I think there's also an element of like Oregon is good. Like, I think Oregon is good and there's not like a lot of established hate. I know they played in the Big Ten championship last year, but like it doesn't have the same sort of emotional. Wednesday and Oregon are not a storied Big Ten rivalry. Correct. Correct. Where like Georgia and Alabama, I think there will just be.

be too many feelings in this for whoever loses it. Mostly because if you're Georgia and you lose, you're like, well, fuck, how do we lose to this Bama team? And if you're Bama and you lose, it's like, well, fuck, we really have given up the crown. I think for Penn State, there's a lingering fear that Drew Aller is not going to be able to get them over. A hundred percent. Yeah, that, that rankles.

I think that's a, that's a bad feeling because you don't have a great alternative. But that's also a feeling they're very used to at this point. They've had a lot of time to sit with that. to it has not made them relaxed about. Not necessarily. That's true. This to me is like, stupid. I did it again.

Listen, we didn't get to get into doing this on the show. There was a whole segment of calls that we wanted to do on Saturday night that we did not get into. And it was teams that were on by weeks, had fans calling in angry about their teams that did not play. Sure. Yeah. And as Betty makes vomiting noises in the corner, you will never guess were the majority of those calls. majority of those calls came from. Yeah. Tell me. Oh, Penn State.

I thought I thought you were actually no. We had angry Ohio State, angry Bama and angry Penn State fans on the voicemail line on Saturday night and Penn but Penn State was the biggest volume. Yeah. I just thought that was interesting. Yeah, there's a lot there's a lot. This is this is an anxiety rich like the only ones i the only team that i think has very little anxiety about any of this is oregon they're like oh i don't know let's see kick the tires on this shit because oregon's happy being at six they're happy not being in the like this is the best team in the country like i think they're like yep we'll just float right here oh weirdly even keeled

for being all the way up there are you sure you're a big ten and then because they know Indiana looms. Oh, that's true. That is true. It's like, it's like all one, you know, all one under his eye, right? It's also this. If you're Oregon, if you're Oregon, if you're Oregon and you beat Penn State, you have Indiana, and after that, this is the rest of your schedule.

Rutgers, Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota, USC, Washington. There are maybe some stumbling box down the road, like, potentially, but it is not a loaded backstretched by any means. Yeah. I've never seen a more, neither of these games are ACC games, and that's a shame because BYU at Colorado and Idaho at Montana have the most ACC commercial energy of any pair of late night games that are who you will find on the schedule. Hello, Patriot.

Patriot, you want a bucket of pre-made slop. You can throw on the ACC network. It's such a weird mismatch. You can throw Memphis at FAU in that category as well. No, that's a different apocalypse because at 10.15 p.m. Both of them are like, we are gearing to survive, to preserve our families, and to make it through the apocalypse. Memphis AFAU is like, well, light and fireworks, open up the good. We ain't making it out of this.

Yeah. Kentucky at South Carolina at 745 is buy gold. We're back to Ron White asking to hit the wall at full speed. I like that Kentucky, South Carolina is hidden behind these big games. like let's just get this off with all right oh listen i am seated for that man i'm sorry i am i everyone's aware of this at this point me and kentucky football is as jason to iowa football listen if you're going to bring kentucky in the house you got to be quiet don't you wake darlene up i swear to god listen if you got to do that go out in the garage we're going to do kentucky

south carolina in the backyard with the lights out all right all right now see and i i view it in the way in the wear of like listen if you're going to consume kentucky football i just want you to do it in a safe place i know i can't stop you but i just want you to be smart about don't come in here smelling like that kentucky south carolina don't come in here smelling like that