Shutdown Fullcast - Sports Are For Perverts Now

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

A musical trip down memory lane about the time the show reached the end of the Internet  NEW LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT  The crew runs up against a rare real-life First Comic Book encounter How to fashion a murder weapon out of a peewee soccer uniform Holly meets a cell phone scammer while taping the show Find out why this episode was almost called “I want pictures of Spider-Man’s pussy” This episode Not sponsored by ReptiCon, coming soon to cities where we don’t live All of that takes a solid hour and disguises the fact that this is our Caitlin Clark episode. Caught ya! Jason poisons his own search algorithm to introduce us to a new conspiracy theory This week's theme song arranged and performed by Anjuli Shah Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dare Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com  Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Pretty sure it was, I'm, I'm feeling like it was springtime, summerish. Because I was getting a play-by-play from either Floyd or John Boyce while they were tracking him like an animal. So Spencer is supposed to get to, I'm pretty sure it's LaGuardia. At the time, LaGuardia was under construction, and so was, I forget. Box wasn't paying for us to flat a JFK? Yeah, probably not. I don't think he would have done better there, to be clear. but there was an issue at the time where traffic was traffic getting into the airport to drop people off was getting way backed up and people were like waiting an hour just like within sight of the airport to pull in and get out and you know go get a ticket and go get their boarding pass and whatever spencer is not the only person who did this that spring or summer whenever it was like i remember there was news coverage of like here are people

walking on the shoulder of the highway to get to the airport. But because- Oh, pioneers. But those people also, I think, were, you know, there with 90 minutes to spare. So they could walk. They didn't like it, but they could walk from the highway to the airport. Because Spencer plays every airport travel to squeeze the margins as tight as possible, to extract the profit of time

from Delta and American he had to sprint he had to sprint alongside like like like Dr. Richard Kimball I think is what it sounds like one of many things they have in common but he means like when he was posting

how far he had to go because of course Spencer he's posting as he goes he's photo photocrinicaling his own his own his own like unlike Dr. Richard Kimball he is he's posting photos of how far he has to go to get the airport how many cars he has to run past and it's sort of a like who boy i don't know because not only is it far and do we have all these previous uh airport mishaps to think back upon

it was very much the sense of like oh he's not going to make it next thing you know he posts that he made it and it was like the celebration breaks out not always but i mean eventually like he doesn't always make the anybody more than he doesn't always make the scheduled flight but he will always make it is hit but his hit rate on i got on the flight that the original ticket was for is pretty fucking good yeah no it's like it's a god's own fool type scenario yeah and the ones that he miss he misses hard sure like he's i'm sure he's i feel like we've talked about he's missed one sitting at the gate right yeah that's that's what i'm talking about this is this is not him running up to the gate and right as the doors are setting right this is he sitting at the airport bar next to

the gate and just is watching television and forgets. And he's not drunk. This is always my favorite because he was talking to Ryan Van Bibber, who to be fair is sneakily one of the most fascinating people you'll ever encounter because he's had every job. Like it was a game that we'd often play

with RVB I was worried about who could say. But it was a game that we'd play whenever we'd hire a new person. We'd say like, hey, go ask RVB about one of his jobs. And the young people would never get the same job twice. They would then compare notes. They would then compare legends. I remember sitting at a bar one night with a whole bunch of, you know, like 20 whatever year olds. And they're all like,

no, he told me he used to do this. No, he told me he used to do this. And they're all right. So sitting next to RVB is a valid, it's sitting next to RVB is a valid excuse for any sort of anything slipping your mind. There's also, there's, there are also the flights that he makes that just like he makes the flight but he leaves the suitcase in his car like he just he gets out of the car just walks onto the plane without luggage um my personal favorite was when he mistook a 6 p.m. flight for a 6 a.m. flight showed up at the airport in plenty of time for the 6 a.m. flight went back home and then missed the 6 p.m. flight for completely unrelated reasons. This is a man built for trains I think is basically the conclusion here because trains. You think you can't miss a train? I'm sure he can miss a train. I'm sure he can miss a train.

But at least train He can't run alongside it with those little legs. Trains are, he did it on the highway. He showed LaGuardia who was boss. Is it more meant for like pre-industrialized travel when it's like, we're leaving on July 19th? Is there a time?

No, because we're leaving that day. You're saying, Spencer, we're done better on the Oregon Trail. Just arrive. Like, we're leaving five weeks hence.

Spencer rolling in anywhere in that span. Supsluts. Yeah. Yeah, maybe pre-pre like really organized airplane travel would have worked too, where you'd just like walk up and be like, here's $80 and I've got cigarettes. And they're like, all right, welcome aboard. Or like really, really vague, really ancient math. We're leaving in 40 years. Yes.

That's plenty of time. But Ryan is right. Like most of the time, you almost never hear about the flights that he makes. And it is always him and Jane Koston and Felder are this unholy triumvirate of walking into the airport. walking onto the airplane as the doors are closing on their very heels and it's a skill set that I not only don't have but that traveling with any of them would make me incredibly nervous just being around them it it's it is a weird testament at least as Spencer I won't speak to Jane and Felder because this isn't their show and I don't think they should be slandered on it

Spencer can get slanted no that's the thing they're proud of this shit right right that's the thing Like, I have, I have missed a flight. I missed a flight before, I don't know, like 15 years ago. And it was like so, it made me so angry and frustrated and was such a pain in the ass that I was like, never again. But no amount of airport misadventure will change Spencer's activities, preparation, mindset whatsoever. He is so committed to the game.

Like, it's honestly kind of impressive. Yeah. Like, they could, the FAA could change the rules tomorrow. They could say, like, you have to be at the airport 24 hours ahead of time, or we will not let you even in the building. And Spencer would still show up at 45 minutes before his flight and be like, I'll just talk to somebody. And it would probably work. He does have one incredible tool that works really well, which is that he will walk up to the Delta help desk, the Southwest attendant, whatever, and go, hey, I did something really stupid. like he will he will lay himself at their feet and he will lead with I'm an idiot I mean in those words he will he will lead with hey I'm a moron can you help me I mean verbatim I'm quoting directly and that disarms a lot of people because they are trying to hold back their own thoughts of God this fucking idiot and he go ahead and gets that out of the way it's and it's not it changes the conversation from oh here's a difficult person I have to deal with to how could this lovable dog know and eat better well and it's it's also it changes

it from, I need you to fix this for me, to here's a puzzle. Wouldn't you like to solve it? You want to be a hero? To this lovable, to this scruffy dog? Grandpa Airport, I can't tie my shoes. Can you help me? Only you are smart enough

to get me out of this. Welcome to the point and click adventure. That is Spencer. The chosen one will get me on this flight. Is that one you? Are you a bad enough dude are you a bad enough to to unfuck my schedule? I'll say I will say I for a long time was a fuck it just show up at the airport person

and you know I've mentioned my airport mishap on this show many times over the past decade plus I ended up in jail so like that changed me I'm not saying I wish that upon Spencer certainly not I'm just saying it is possible there are events and circumstances and situations that could alter the preparation just a bit because now I've gone from a fuck it just show up person to a weird we're getting there four hours early and we're going through everything before we're going to like I've become it's my most dad trait is airport prep not so much like um planning just arriving the I just show up early because I want to relax like I don't I don't understand the anyway I hate airports and flying but the thought of being stressed in an airport is even worse it's like it's just way it's way easier for me to show up to show up early and just like go chill in a corner somewhere uh i think i think being at the airport is it's fine it is you know what i mean like as long as you're not hurrying around but like getting there early like you're saying holly and having time to uh having time to chill it is a i think airports are underrated chilling this is jason has given me a good business idea

which if you run an airport and i'm sure people who do listen to this show to be clear i have Atlanta, there's every chance somebody in here runs an airport. I have a summer business proposition for you. Only on certain days. Let's call it Tuesday through Thursday. I'm not going to do this on the weekends. I'm not going to do this on Friday when things are busy. I should be allowed to come to the airport.

Ryan specifically. Hold on. I should be allowed to come to the airport with my seven-year-old who is done with school and is bored of shit. And I should be allowed, we should be allowed to go through security, pay a, pay a a certain amount. I understand we're there. But we should just be allowed to just chill in the airport pretty much all day. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Sure. Like, I don't have to worry about like, you know, it's not the mall where it's like there's a million exits and, you know. It's a mall with wall. You should have a better, you should have a better option than the hot cell phone lot. Right. It's a secure mall. It has Wi-Fi. So I can actually like get some work done or whatever. There's snacks there. There's usually most airports these days have like, like play indoor playgrounds and like shit for kids to do like and it's and it's cool it's climate controlled and most of the time you know if it's just like Wednesday at noon you're not using geth gate f15 or what you don't need it like let me come and just

fucking chill and then at four o'clock we'll bail we'll leave it's fine this is a great business idea with no problem you can keep charging the same exorbitant price for snacks yes 100%, which means I won't buy any snacks because I'll buy very few snacks. I'll buy your $7 bag of banana chips. It's fine. So like a popular talking point online is like, there are no third spaces anymore,

as if there ever were. Well, there, now, what now? The airport becomes four. The third space is the sky. It's literally space. That's what you're saying. We should know, as we get ready to do the welcome here, Spencer is out today.

Oh, he's right here. Say hi. Hi. Spencer, say welcome. Say welcome. Hey, say welcome. Thanks, buddy. was underway.

Now we can go straight to podcast business. By the time the show comes out, Spencer will have maybe. That's the fun thing here. We don't know if we have another airport. Right now he's got two and a half hours. Yeah, we don't know if there's another boarding adventure soon to come. International edition. Listener, you'll have to find out as we do next week on the shutdown podcast.

Actually, and he'll be back for next week's show, like barely. So, we can catch his jet lagged edition. Let's not assume that either, frankly. Fair enough. Well, he's got Floyd with him, so I trust Floyd to get him back across the ocean. Floyd's not, but they're not flying together, are they? They're not flying. I do know that they're attempting to coordinate it so that they land in France at the same time, which I find hilarious.

Ah, rendezvous. No, what's going to be, while we're doing Channel 6 business. That's French. well the part that's going to be funny is this is the first of two international channel six reporting trips this summer the second one is going to mongolia and involves brian phillips or as i'm calling it the double marcus brodie no nobody who's marcus brodie never mind it's it's you know the problem it's the clueless hatwaite the clueless hat waving guy in indiana jones who gets lost in his own museum oh gotcha what the guy the guy runs up to him with a sword and he goes no thank you i'm a vegetarian is there another

movie series where they took a character who because that marcus brady appears definitely in raiders i don't think he's in temple of doom where they took a character who was like normal and we're like ah we're gonna make you a dip shit in the third we've we've decided you play better if you're just a complete moron he's fun because in the first they put it they put a statue of him in crystal skull yes yes he has the uh yes he he he he's does indeed have like the opposite and I guess they're both George Lucas properties so maybe that's where he comes from they're they were both the key to all this they didn't have room for him in Temple of Doom because there was no way to use

him to take out their feelings on their wives and by them I mean George Lucas and Steven Spielberg yeah those guys are in bad moods at that time they basically did I can't I probably can't locate it at the moment but they basically went on a press tour after a Temple of Doom and we're like sorry we're getting divorced I read Lucas's biography a few weeks ago, and it's like, there was a miserable time, and they took it out on the world by writing that movie. Hey, podcast business. Hey, Spencer's a neat podcast business. Serber, you're the ranking musician here.

Are you able to, uh, there. go we've it's like the opening scene of i hope you don't have a gun friends if you're wondering what was the shutdown forecast like to listen to eight years ago you're getting a little bit of the process audience as mr just walks through i did use to record my part from the next room like eight years ago was when it ryan was like it's recorded does anyone want to edit it nope nope nope nope ship it ships push push public does anyone remember anything we said no nobody ever nobody ever give michael surber a single piece of shit he is a miracle worker i don't think anybody should ever give you a single piece of shit you didn't

sign up to edit this show yeah but i could have stopped at any point too i could have stopped i didn't have to press publish on any of them i was the monster in some ways sometimes you were you were fighting to press publish sometimes it tried to not to let you sometimes it's folks it is not a joke that there was there we published on another podcast feed we published a podcast on edsbs.com does that mean we put the audio up no there was no audio there was like three months where the fucking feed was like sorry we're full and Ryan's going and finding shit to delete so we could post episodes honestly there's one there's one app that no longer exists and I forget which one it is that has all of the

on it. I think it might be Stitcher. Like, do you know how weird it is in the age of limitless internet to have something say like, nope, no more of that. The computer said, the computer said you can't do that anymore. That should have been assigned to me

to just be like, well, I think the internet's over it. I think we're done. Like, you're telling me there's room to add more stuff to porn hub, but not our feed. Our feed is the one that needs to be cut off. Sorry, guys. you're not as good as important how it turns out you've made your point i think that that did birth

the free conference call dot com era though there's a lot of mistakes that have been made over the course of this podcast what are we doing today uh friends podcast business that's right right we're still podcast hey here's why yeah here's why spencer's in france you have to sign up for channel six to find out but uh he's going to laman with brian floyd we're going to have a frequent travel diaries as often as we can get them through whatever constitutes the French internet. But yeah, sign up the three-year anniversary of the site is like three weeks away, and we're celebrating with a bunch of cool international shit this summer. That's behind a paywall because we have bills to pay. So it is, today is Tuesday. By the time you're hearing this, it'll be

Wednesday. Spencer and Floyd will theoretically be in France. Thursday is when we're hoping to start dropping some francophone goodness on you. So, yeah. go sign up so we can keep not having bosses we like that i am looking at the wikipedia article for internet in france but so far it seems pretty pretty blah pretty straightforward they have let chevre if the trains can go fast why not the maybe they carry the internet on the trains yeah uh venessa redgrave had a lot of trouble i remember on the french internet in the first in the first mission impossible this is he ryan this is why we're friends yeah yeah also happy anniversary a day late. Hey, thanks.

Happy birthday speed. Happy birthday speed. You're so beautiful at 30. You're so beautiful. The greatest movie ever made. Podcast business for me. I have launched a new project with my buddy Martin Rickman. It's called Assigned. It's a substack. It's a substack that is free to read, but you pay a little bit of money if you want to participate. What does

participation mean? Every undisclosed amount of of time units, mostly because it's going to be up to me and my whims, I will let the subscribers vote from a few choices of the topic I'm going to cover to give you an idea of what those topics might be. The three that the subscribers get to vote to right now are a series where I look at the names of stadiums and trophies and bowl games and other non-human things to figure out where those names came from and why they are weird and whatever. to give you like a little hint there.

UCLA's basketball arena is named after somebody who I believe is working with the CIA at one point. UCIA. Correct. Love it. There's one called the Alternative Sports Almanac, which is exactly what you think it's going to be. Is this an excuse for me to talk about the basketball statistics from the 1995 film

Forget Paris? Yes, it is. Did we lay the groundwork for this at Banner Society with the Notre Dame game? Yeah, that's probably right. And then there's pointless advice and advice column where I answer incredibly low-stakes reader questions as they get submitted.

So if you want to have a say in which one which one I do, go to assign.com and sign up or if you just want to read about it, you can do that too. And Martin and I will very much appreciate it. I do like the caveat that the reader doesn't have to do any labor.

No. But they probably should. They should probably pitch in. You know, it's it's summer. Everybody's fucking tired. It's fine. Do your part, folks, I think. I, let's see, personal business. I wrote a novel that is still really good. All the reviews, no one has deleted them.

So allegedly, it's still really, really good. Serber and I are in the midst of assembling the audiobook. There will be some sort of bonus material available at Shutdown Full Books, either print and or audio that edition. but the regular audiobook will be everywhere and the goal is to have it out on pretend I said a date right here. As far as... Wow, that's soon. Amazing.

Yeah, can you believe it? Based on what happened with the book, this is a reasonable thing to do. Yeah, I could say pre-orders are now and it'll go out in 2037 and that means at any point. No one knows the hour. As far as show business, We have one non-sold-out and previously announced show that is in Raleigh, North Carolina with, hey, speaking of Serber, we're doing a podcast festival with Serber and co.

The date of that is, again, pretend I said the right date. It's in week zero. It is week zero. It is August 24th. Tickets are on sale at etix.com. I mean, our live show info is at pre-owned airboats.com, of course. and also we have another show to announce

October 3rd because Spencer's not here Birmingham Alabama Surprise Spencer Furnace Fest Presents shut down full cast live Yeah This is the culmination of so many arcs

We are probably going to do music disasters because this is a music festival um this is for me personally folks this is like short of oh gosh i don't know us doing like you know a launch of my book in atlanta uh if that were to happen that would be like my number one all-time favorite live full cast but short of that happening this is like literally lifelong dream stuff for me personally like emily and i have been going to this festival since we were broke-ass adolescence um and now we are going to be one of the one of the I don't know if we're the opener for the whole thing but like for the for the weekend um but yeah and it's going to be a big one it's going to be a big one we got cohed in

cambria august burns red under oath those are some of the bands that are closing down the the actual festival dates itself but uh yeah those tickets are um again we'll post the link but see tickets dot us looks like it's the site uh and to be clear you don't need tickets to the fest itself to come to our thing but of course every year there's always a handful of fulcasters who are at the fest anyway so if you uh if you're around to do both do both but if you only got time to stop by our thing that's cool too and yeah it's it's football season the time of year when you save your vacation days for anyway so also it's you're going to be in alabama it's also it's road week for bama bama is it bandy Auburn's on the road to lose anyway you heard what

he said folks You heard what he said about it. I'm skating right by it. I'm not looking directly at it. Bama's on the road of Vandy. Nothing. Don't worry about it. You heard it.

Maybe you heard it that Vandy's beating Bama. Oh, I didn't hear anything. Is that right we're hinting? I didn't hear anything. Bama will not play Vandy. That's true. Bama's scared of Vandy.

Okay. I heard it here first. Sober, any killer ants news? More songs? More sweet. sweet songs? We'll put out songs. We'll put out more songs,

sweet sweet songs. We have a show in Winston-Salem at Reboot on June 29th. We also have a show in Greensboro, North Carolina, at the Flatiron on July 6th. And then we've got some more in August and September, but those are the next two. And then also, when is this coming out? Yeah, tomorrow.

So like next week, next Saturday, the Winston-Salem Pride Festival downtown, You can come out and support and have a good time And we're probably going to play that too I only say probably because it's a community organized event And we signed up a long time ago to play And we played it last year And they said yeah, we'll have you again

This is a community organized event I hope to be there but you should come support them no matter what I mean you can be there no matter what Whether or not I'm gonna be there I just don't know I think you should be there But this is this is how this is how this goes every year So this is everything is going according to plan

for us to play, but I do want to just add the caveat that is a community organized event. That's fair. Is that all the business? Did we do it all? I hope so. And remember, tune in next week, find out. What the hell happened at the airport with Spencer? He was trying to go to France, his natural habitat.

Can we talk briefly about how fortunate it is that Spencer, and maybe this is why Spencer hates New York and D.C., and New York D.C. specifically. It is absolutely essential that Spencer not live in a city that has two major airports. He would go to the wrong one almost every time. I didn't think about that. Like, if he lived in L.A., this would be a problem. If New York and D.C. are great examples as well. But Atlanta's just, it's just the one. Like, it's just the one. And I think, I don't think he appreciates. Yes. And I don't think he appreciates how much

that probably saves his ass he actually has left the building he has vacated our office now so start the clock ladies and gentlemen the hunt begins I mean as a person who like has probably bought a plane ticket for the wrong day

and will show up an hour late instead of early because of time zones and shit that's like other than go to place If it's more complicated than that, yes, I'll put myself in that camp as well. The other thing that would really fuck him up in New York, at least, I don't know if this is true in D.C. Because the transit authority that runs the airports is the same for JFK and LaGuardia, all the signage looks very similar, like the coloring and the lettering and all that.

So you can definitely get into a scenario where you're like, wait a second, this feels right, but it's wrong. What's happened to me? You can't use like muscle memory. None of my visual cues. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess that's, I guess in conclusion, that's why Spencer hates New York and Washington, D.C.

I know Houston has two airports as well. It's one reason. It's definitely the reason. Dallas has two airports. You don't want to go there either. Man, all the, he's, he's a big stupid airport baby who can't handle life, is what I'm saying. God, dang. If he ever listened to this podcast, he'd be really much.

I've said far worse things on shows that he's been on. That's very true also. Oh, okay. Anyway, that concludes what's wrong with Spencer for this week. I actually feel bad about this now. Aw, it's fine. He doesn't want to live in those cities, so now he has like a plausible reason other than I hate all the people there and the way that they live.

that's something he would say happy anniversary speed a perfect movie that has not aged in any way shape or form and you know where speed ends up at the airport at the airport is what I was going to say but yes I guess you're right I should have been more specific about the bus

spoilers yeah it's summer Major League Baseball is in full swing and there's one app for you if you want last minute deals on major league baseball games and that's game time.co. That's right game time.co. I'm looking at the app right now and I'm picking out America's team really. The Kansas City Royals and at Kaufman Stadium just in a couple days, there's tickets available for $16. And then, well, I don't want to up the stakes too much here, but let's go to next week. It looks like they're playing the Chicago

White Sox. There are tickets available right now for $3. You could see a major league baseball game in Chicago for $3. What stadium you ask? Not important. It's in Chicago. But gametime.com is not just for Major League Baseball games, even though you can get great deals for that. You can also get great deals for concerts, football games. Those are going to be coming up pretty soon. You can find them on gametime.com.co. I use gametime.com.co to purchase last minute tickets for an Olivia Rodrigo concert. Tyler Childers did not show up at mine. That would have been awesome, but it was awesome nonetheless. and GameTime.C.O. made it super easy. I got my parking through GameTime.com.

And I got great tickets for my wife and I. GameTime.com.com made all of that so easy and one of the greatest concert experiences I've ever had in my entire life. And I'll be using them again. In fact, I'm seeing a little bit called the beaches in late September. And where did I get my ticket? That's right. Even ahead of time.

I didn't wait till the last minute because GameTime.com has you covered then as well. That's what I love about it. Whenever I want to get a ticket for an event, whether I heard about it months before. and procrastinated to no end and have left myself in a lurch, you can save up to 60% of buying last minute for sports, concerts, comedy, theater, anything else. So take the guesswork out of buying MLB tickets with GameTime. You can download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code fullcast for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code F-U-L-C-A-S-T for $20 off. Download game time today, last-minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. Hey, we had a real life every comic book is somebody's first comic book issue this week. Did you guys happen to pop into the Reddit? No. I took a spin through the Reddit this week and

apparently based on a single aside in the episode last week or a week before, there's now a small contingent of people who think that we as a group have a vendetta against Deadpool and I listened to the segment in question and it consists of Jason going, oh, yeah, that was good because Deadpool wasn't in it, or something. And then we immediately all move on. And I guess because we immediately all moved on, because no one roasted the defense of Deadpool's thing. This listener thinks that it is canon,

that Deadpool is our enemy. And I, I mean this in the kindest possible way. There's a real Ohio state energy to the question. Like, I don't know that this person is preparing to face. I was just saying that because Deadpool dresses in Ohio State. How is there not an Ohio State there has to be i'm actually i'm positive there's some ohio state deadpool twitter account oh i mean my god that sounds like a a forklift guy shirt in the making ohio deadpool and it's like it's it's like uh i i i drink things i know things i go ohio state and i and i like you know just like messing up all the quotes that people put on shirts and it's it's it's not mom it's bruh i don't understand like all

civics or basic math, and I vote. Do you think they cross out the M's and mom when it's time? Oh, shit. And that's why I'm not mom. It just forms the block. That's why I'm bro. It's not about being a boy mom. It's about being an high estate fan.

None of these are qualities that I'm ascribing to the reader. He just sounded like he was prepared to rise up with fists and defensive Deadpool. I can't get it out of my head. What's wrong with Deadpool? I got to tell you, buddy, I have no Deadpool at people. opinions. None. Deadpool also. I have one. I have one Deadpool opinion.

What is wrong with Deadpool? What's your Deadpool opinion? They should have made the Deadpool movie immediately after Blade 3, which he, which piggybacks on. Which Ryan Reynolds is in. Yeah. Piggybacks on one of my more controversial takes, which is that Blade 3 is far and away the best Blade movie and one of the best comic book movies ever made. Do not at me. I'm not accepting divergent opinions on this at this time.

You have a lot of, you have a lot of brave opinions, Holly. I don't think that I think this is objective fact You think it's an objective fact that Blade 3 is one of the best Chris Christopherson's in it Ryan Reynolds is excellent in it also Chris Christopherson is in all of them No he's not Yes he is

Chris Christopherson I am DB I am confident I am confident that Chris Christopherson is in All three am I for once I'm seeing Let's see Known for Blade and Blade 2 Am I as I usually do

mixing up Chris Christopherson with Jessica Beal. Ah, that's probably what it is. I can't tell them apart. Justin Timberlake's rocky marriage with Chris Christopherson once again. Why can't he just be good to Chris Christopherson? We're all wondering. Oh, man. I kind of wish that timeline had happened anyway,

if only because Chris Christopherson would have beaten the shit out of Justin Timberlake a long, long time ago. Why doesn't the full cast like Justin Timberlake? That we could probably have a more fulsome discussion about Anyway, I just thought this was funny because it was literally a comic book that was someone's first. Because we took a vote and we have come down to kids. Because here's the thing about this show, it moves so fucking fast that like, you know, by design, by whatever, by like all these years of, you know, it's built up its own pace. There's shit every single episode that it's like, I probably had more to say about that.

It was 30 minutes ago. I'm not circling back to it. And that happens for all of us every week. I remember you saying this. I don't remember feeling the need to engage with it in any form. Sure, yeah. Like, I'm just saying, you know, in general, there's so much shit every single week. We could expand on.

I said that the Texas A&M's word for the name of God was yehaw, and no one said a fucking thing to me. That's good job. I probably should have been struck dead out of a clear sky. No, that's fine. So, like, yeah, I mean, I'll say as the person who is. As the offender. As the accuser here. Um, when Deadpool is written at an A plus level, you have a great tragic comic character who is on one level insane, but on another completely correct.

Um, when Deadpool is written at anything but an A plus level, it goes from Bugs Bunny to Fuzzy Bear. Um, and just does not shut the fuck up. Like Deadpool in, in universe, annoys every other character. Great. You know what sucks is when he has that effect on every reader as well. Deadpool is probably the hardest comic character to write. And fewer people are qualified to write Deadpool than they think. The movies are fine.

The movies are fine. By the way, instead of asking any of us, this led to was for us a very lengthy Reddit discussion about why we might not like Deadpool. Instead of anyone just asking any of us. Yeah, but. Yeah, I love that they. Do you want people asking you why you don't like Deadpool on the internet? Is that a thing you would rather live with? I would have been confused.

As the guilty party, I would have been confused. Okay. As always, Deadpool should just be replaced with Gwynpool. Gwool is a better character. I have one more Deadpool opinion, which is that the International Women's Day joke in the first movie was exquisite. Gwynpool explains Deadpool the best.

She says it's Gen X memes humor. There. Also, Holly, I think I should point out for listeners who don't know. In Blade 3, Jessica Biel plays Chris Christopherson's daughter. I just didn't want us to not get that part out. That's why I mix them up. It's very important.

Also, Triple H is in Blade 3, and according to Wikipedia, plays a character named Jarko Grimwood. Jarko. That's it. That's some Star Wars prequel shit. This is also a movie that has Pat and Oswald and Natasha Leone in it. This is a nonsense movie. Hey, did you guys know that there is a company. now that makes candles that smell like theme park rides like there is a there is a candle that

purports to smell like the forest and et in disney world so so smells inspired by theme park rides no like it's supposed to smell like you know like the fog machine and the pine trees and so so the smell they're going for is the smell of sitting in a chair that has been sat in by a hundred Floridians so far that day? Yeah, but it's inside. So it's an inside ride. Okay. You know what?

I don't think it's a coincidence that all these smells are the inside rides. There is the Pirates of the Caribbean candle. Sorry, Pirates of Caribbean, the Ride candle. Yeah. But this ET one is the one I'm most fascinated. How do I make a candle that smells like wet umbrose? God, that sounds oppressive.

I'm coming and breathe at all. How do I make? Because a poncho smelling gay. I bet. How was it humid in here? Could you strangle somebody with umbrose the way you could by like putting a grocery bag over their head if they were wet? Are you saying you're suffocating

them or you're strangling them? Suffocating, sorry. I suspect if the umbrose were big enough and the problem is you really got to like nail your entry point, correct, you know? Hmm. Like if you get there, get there through one leg? I think you could. Yeah. You could use the draw string to like

wrap around. This would be a very weird way to die. Be like, I'm suffocating to death in purple umbrose, just, just as the fortune teller foretold. All the latest final destination. This is the weirdest spawn con ever. Soccer final destination. Shut up. Is umbrose still?

Are they still things? Sure. I'm sure they are. Yeah. Kids still need, uh, soccer shorts. $4.4 shorts. dirty yeah umbrose shorts oh yeah we're fucking crushing it over here plus like the way the way the world we're living in now probably like two years from now it'll be like oh umbrose are back umbrose

yeah yeah yeah if those fucking ugly champion sweatshers were popular anything can be popular i'm gonna i'm gonna bring a i'm gonna have a snoopy tea with woodstock on it and they're both like at the beach have my umbrose yeah yeah and it'll be like wow fashion trendsetter yeah instead of like holly anderson stuns in oh i just got a text for a political poll on my phone do you guys want to take it in real let's take the poll first of all wait who's it from this just this is totally a scam hey there i am john from u.s. speaks we're polling george voters hmm hold on hold on u.s. speaks speaks okay

first thing it comes up is a Reddit link ooh hmm and a Facebook link that says

beware this yeah I got that and also they talk shit about Deadpool oh man

do you think it's a Deadpool based poll is Deadpool pulling you dead pole dead pole

dead pole experts warn of election year scams oh y'all want to do a scam yeah

let's get scams okay hell yes all yes all right wait this story doesn't actually say that they're going to that this is a scam it's in listen it's important for local news to be like danger ahead of everything yeah this doesn't actually say that this is a scam

yeah okay oh this person is totally trying to steal my identity this person who's who's texting you john john so that they you can end the survey at any time by replying in survey before we start I need to make sure I'm talking to the right person, so the survey is accurate. Can you confirm? Is this Holly Anderson? Should I say no? You should say this is Esmeralda. Last name unknown.

Oh, this is Chris Christopherson. Star, Blade 1, 2, and 3. Maybe you pretend to be a different Holly Anderson. The call is coming from Eastern Maryland, so it's clearly legit. I don't think of Maryland. I mean, I guess Maryland has different regions,

that but the little states at least has the water yeah I suppose Eastern Maryland's nothing but regions Western Maryland is basically Kentucky I don't know any of them I just like looking at it is like I'm sorry but you do not qualify to participate in this survey wow wow owned wow wow damn Chris Christalpherson silenced again by US speaks unacceptable can I bring up an uncomfortable question Oh, please. So Twitter, the everything website, where everything works for me.

The X, the website formerly known as. Oh, yes, X parentheses. I don't know if y'all have noticed this. It's very obscure. It probably only happens to me is fucking crawling with porn bots all the time. Like, not promising porn anymore. There's just birth canal. Okay, so I want to go back to the original form of this,

was nudes in bio, but in bio, boobs and bio. But before that was Rosie, so we're focusing on nudes and bio? Yes, there was Rosie. And Danny. There was Rosie and Danny. Then there was, I want to talk about the nudes in bio thing specifically. Okay. It occurred to me at one point.

I was like, wait, what does nudes in bio even mean? Like, that's a nonsensical statement for somebody to stay. This is such a sex in the city lead in and I love the construction so much. Like, like it implies there are pictures in the bio. Correct. Or like, like, maybe there's something meant to like, why were these nudes in bio and where were the dudes in the bio? So, but inevitably if you're like, well, what does that mean? And you look at one of these accounts.

There is nothing in the biography. It is a, it is a promise that means nothing. It doesn't actually. I guess what I'm saying is like, obviously this is like some scam bot behavior. But, but they're not even good. But where's the scam? I don't understand what the scam is. There's no point where there's no point where they're trying to steal your identity.

And until they got to just direct delivery of spread. What is that doing? As Holly pointed out, there wasn't even like actual pornography being. I'm just so confused as to like, at what purpose did this serve for whoever came up with, the shitload of porn bots that respond to everything with. news and bio, there was no step two. There's no nudes.

I don't understand. I need less news in the bio and more news. What was the plan supposed to be here? I'm so fast. So like, there's a, somebody did an article for the, the intelligence server where they actually followed all the way to try to find the nudes.

And it's like this sprawling thing where you just have to keep fucking clicking or whatever and eventually. This is like when you click, doctors hate him? I don't know. And you're trying to find the trick? I haven't. Okay. I'm just,

It is a a gigantic web of alleged nudes in bio that all funnel to it sounds like there are nudes at the end of the rainbow but the thing that jumped out to me in this article

was how few people appear to be running this thing that's just universal and rampant on X the everything app makes a lot more sense we're dealing with a small business that is broken contained do you think it's just that they were like

I don't know we'll try nudes in bio for 100 tweets and they were like got it 100,000 thousand treats fuck shit damn it oh we already paid for all of these it very like as normal people we look at this and we're like okay the hit rate on

this has to be incredibly low yes it's even lower than you think like literally almost none of these work but enough of them work for them to keep doing it I think the funniest thing about pussy and bio is how it's like evolved on its own like it reminds me of like the Matrix movies where it's like we can't

control the virus anymore you know like agent Smith has taken on a mind of its own learned how to open doors Agent Smith in bio, like, yeah, yeah, it's, it's, they, they evolve and new punctuation tricks and it gets way more explicit over time. They're doing like early versions of ASCII art and shit. And it's like, it is, it is perversely a very effective branding tool because now like nudes in bio is a thing that like you can just say, but again, it's not branding anything. It doesn't point you to anything. What would be the funniest thing for it to turn out to have been branding this entire time?

A movie. Yeah, like a movie called Nudes Empire. Yeah. How about that? Yep. And then you see it and there's no fucking Nudes. Straight to Amazon Prime. Jay Jonah Tamison wants some goddamn nudes.

I want Nudes of Spider-Man. I want pictures of Spider-Man's pussy. So folks, welcome to our college football podcast. we're here to talk about the latest NIL developments I like I don't think I don't think myself as a fucking prudish person I just don't need to see cervix

And look like like unless Unless you're in bio class I don't need I don't need this much cervix in my life I've got my own It is it is very direct Like it is very not like It's also sexist

Where are the dicks Yeah, Dick's in bio. Where are the hanging brains in the bio? Balls in bio. Let's hit in comments. Pellas, fellas, it's time to contribute. Holly, you might be the first woman to work in sports media on the internet who's like, where are the unasked for dick photos?

Where are retired and nobody stepped up. Nobody filled the void. The gray void. The grisled dick void. The wrinkly weird little void. Sack in by O. Nobody's clicking that. There's the episode title, The Grizzled Dick Void. If you're going to send a dick pick, you want it to be cradled by Wrangler jeans.

Maybe he's got like a copper dick. Jam it in my copper jammies. He's in a copper bracelets and shit, maybe his whole lot of copper. A bracelet is just a big cockering. I suppose that's true. That means... In that it's a circle of metal. I'm sorry to bring this here.

it's just like this is no no you're right as usual well mostly it's just like I can't talk to neighbors about yeah yeah it's real I can't go out to real people I can't talk to my wife about this no I don't even feel like I would be comfortable talking to Ryan's wife about this and I've known her for 20 years so yeah yeah it's because like then the question arises like wait why do you keep going back to this app why do you keep getting into bio what are you doing and a really Why don't you just delete this app? Really don't have a good answer for why we're still on this app. Well, you know, I've been wondering that for about 15 years now.

Isn't this all the other than base? No, no, no, no, no. That's not what's happening here. So like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Normal people are like, well, I use Instagram and it shows me stuff based on stuff I've liked. So there's your problem. And it's like, no, no, no, no. It's the total opposite.

This app shows you things you hate. No matter what. This app only shows you things you've never clicked on. This app actually hides the things you like. And that's the way from you. This app is designed to piss you off. So it tantalizes you. With dicks in bio, you'll never see.

So it, back in the vein of every comic book is some... Sorry, Jesus Christ. Back in the big purpley vein of every comic book being someone's first. Can you imagine joining Twitter right now? Like as a brand? Well, no, because people are, yeah, people are forming companies, you know, getting, getting into, you know, getting to their freshman year of college and getting their first computer or whatever. And people are joining, people are joining this app every day.

And that means every day somebody somewhere is joining this messaging app with zero knowledge, even in the zero entry shallow end, that it is totally fucking normal for the other millions of users on this app. Like, Ryan, this is why I'm glad you brought this up, because. to new users of Twitter, there is zero warning everywhere because no one talks about it that you are just going to be hit with Vaj no matter what. It is the equivalent of saying

what if you went to Stanford and your dormitory moving day was day five of the prison experiment. The sexy prison experiment, except it's not. It's only talked about the sexiness. That's not what I thought the marshal. It's empty.

There is names. There's not even a room. There's not even a door. I'm going crazy. You're looking for a rip 203. What a cool business. Like imagine you start like, you know, you start like a new like soccer league or whatever and you're like, oh, we need visibility.

Let's go all our teams on there. And then every single one, like you hire like 10 people to run those accounts. And they're all just like nothing happens. Like that's the other thing is. Are people somewhere getting, like our new interns? with clueless bosses getting fired somewhere for all the fucking porn that is showing up in their replies?

I don't think so because that's the weird thing that's happening is that now there is the portion of Twitter that continues to function as it always has. So it's like, here are... Great job, Elon.

Here are five people arguing about Caitlin Clark and the women's Olympics team with nudes in bioators. And everyone's just ignored. Like, it's like, it's like the Lord of your prayer. We have developed nudes blindness. Like, this is, this, or these are our Greek choruses.

This is every, um, and furthermore, cooter, cooter, cooter, cooter, cooter, cooter, cooter, cooter, cooter. Every middle school youth pastor is just saying, just pounce your eyes away from temptation. Should have just given us Twitter. This point, it's like, oh, oh, another one of those. Okay. It's like walking through a fucking forest. Like, it is very funny that so much of. on the cooter plane so much of x the everything app is like just functioning as normal like

the pope posts and the 10,000 porn bots a symbol that's right the pope posts on twitter i mean he's here how bad could it be like imagine if you the fucking sacramento king's post and here comes their porn army imagine if you went to mass at st peter's and the pope's up there giving the homily and meanwhile every two minutes Nudes in bio. People are yelling nudes in bio. That sounds great. I think that would increase attendance.

And the Pope is just like, winged dildos. And the Vatican is just like, just keep going. We're talking about the blood of the land. Don't worry about it. More like the Vagican. Body of Christ, throw a dildo. Body of Christ, throw a dildo. Body of somebody, yeah.

Jelly, dick of Christ. But again, there's no nudes, not even at the... No, there's no nudes. At porn church, there's no nudes. There's only parts of nudes that you didn't ask for. Right. Yeah, you don't have to go to the bio. You don't have to go to the bio at all.

Just stay put. You don't have to click anything. It's right there. I don't want it. It's the laziest porn app ever. You just sit there and it collects. Like residue. Oh, that's upsetting.

We have fun here. Yeah. We have fun here. And it's like the other thing is I think sports people are on. X the Everything app even more than non-sports people are. Like, you go on Blue Sky and you see like, why isn't everyone here? And it's like, well, because, you know, there's sports. It's over there.

We're just sort of stuck there. And sports are for perverts now, I guess. You know? I mean, yeah, sure. No, I don't have a single argument that I can muster again. Luca in bio. Now, listen, I think you could make a good business out of, I respond to random people's Twitter, Twitter anything with, oh, here's like Sean Kemp dunking on somebody 30 years ago. Yeah, if I was just like, here's remember some gifts.

Guys in bio. You're like, God, this is annoying, but it's also pretty fun. I'm going to get a blue check just to post. like look at this fucking mooky blaylock highlight check this shit out yeah that's my i've even stopped it worked by the way in some form because i've even stopped auto blocking blue checks i'm just so tired yeah i block like 40,000 of them and it's like give so fuck it didn't help but but holly and i both got a really good twitter ad the other day do you remember the one i'm talking about like an actual Add? Yes. It's for an event that has since passed at least where it was. I know it's moving

around. Not unlike its subjects. It's called Repticon. Specifically, Holly and I, who don't live there, we're getting ads for Repticon. I want to get... In Greenville, South Carolina. That's right. It was the one in Greenville. Which is Clemson, basically, if you're not from here. So Repticon is what it sounds like. Repticon is exactly what it sounds like. Um, and is come, this is not an ad, but because it's the only useful Twitter thing I've seen years at this point. If you live in a major American city that is not in, um, the Atlantic corridor or a lot of, a lot, big 10 country doesn't do well, I'll be honest. But if you live in a major American city anywhere else, almost anywhere else, Repticon is probably coming to you.

Like, Repticon is not going to Pennsylvania, New York, or Ohio at all. Repetcon is outside in Pennsylvania. This looks very... This is a compliment Pennsylvania. You have a shit ton of snakes, and I like that about you. Shreveport, Baton Rouge. There's a little Big 12.

There's a lot of Big 12 just because of Texas. So you're saying that there's... You're saying that you see a market inefficiency that we can exploit. Big Ten Repticon. Big Sin. Shut down full snakes. The 25 snakes festival. I do think, I do think probably the Dakotas are being shortchanged.

I think there's probably a market for at least one Dakota Repticon. Do you think, if you live in the Dakotas, though, don't you think that, like, commercial reptile festivals are for amateurs? I think Triple H's vampire name should have been Dakota Repticon. Maybe that's his long-lost daughter. That might have been Parker Posey's vampire name. I don't, again, Parker Posey is also in Blade. Damn, this shit is loaded. Maybe Holly's right and it is

a great movie. Maybe I'm wrong. I didn't say it's a great movie. I said it's the best Blade movie. You said it was one of the best comic book movies. That's again, choose that and decide for yourself what that scale means. This means all Blade movies are not great.

Hmm. Hmm. Damn. David Goye was on a run there for a minute. It's a complicated world. Anyway, yeah. Repticon I love the shop reptiles link What a

Talk to me about prices You click on it nothing happens What are we looking at here I'm just clicking and clicking And it keeps taking me back God it's just like nudes in bio Yeah Reptiles in bio

Oh ridiculous Hey hey I got it I got it Newts in bio I think they're amphibians right I'm sorry. No, that's great. Nobody's going to know that.

Serber. They got multiple days in June coming up in Charlotte, just so you know. Okay. Why are they spending extra time in Charlotte? Because they can't. I want to know. Remember, shut the fuck up, barking dog. Remember we did that episode about like snake facts and North Carolina is like far.

Yeah. Snake bike capital of everywhere but Australia. That's true. That's a really good point. Not this necessarily the snake population capital, but the snake incident capital. Yeah, the snake tempting capital of America. I'm up here to find the odds every day. You are.

You are. You're a fucking survivor, man, and we're proud of you. I'm model in so many ways. Where is snake repticon, Charlotte? Something called the Cabarris Arena and Events Center in Concord, North Carolina. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's closer to, like, the racetrack. Okay.

That's like Charlotte adjacent. It's like Charlotte suburb. Yeah. It would be like if something it was in Franklin, I think. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Great. So I'm glad Twitter's working for Repticon and literally nobody else at this point. Oh, let's see. Let me look at their mentions. Oh, yeah. Nobody's replying at all. This is the dream.

It's going great for them. They're just buying. They're just attending. Okay, we've all had to deal with this at one time or another. How, I'm sorry to go actual business for a second, but I'm genuinely curious if this is your line of work out there. Right in, let us know. How does one quantify a successful marketing campaign right now?

On Twitter specifically or just brought more broadly? Anywhere online, like how on earth do you measure feedback right now in this? maelstrom. We have at least one listener who can answer this question that I can think of, but I'm sure we have multiple. Like, what constitutes, what does success look like for you right now, and how on earth do you measure that? Like, this is not, not our, you know, this is kind of our business. Yeah. I think, uh, why don't you like us? I measure it by, um, Reddit threads. That seems to be or like there are um ummbudsman i think they're the only ones ever whoever who saw that coming by the way until you until you drove them away with your divisive

deadpool i'm gonna start my own suburbists where i think we go uh full cast as judged by uh chart beat right and it's like well what's the website no i don't know that's comforting yeah it's clicks folks like a like a warm blanket that gives you anxiety that's why we post these takes to get your clicks on what you might add people still saying click bait is adorable I love it when they say it to like reply to like a post with no link that's why AI is going to solve it because you won't click on anything because there's nothing there's no fucking nudes there's nothing no nudes upon which to click there's another podcast business for you today on channel 6 Spencer and I rolled out rolled out our takes congestion fee system where basically if you want to offer up a take about Caitlin Clark right now you have to give $100 to charity before you do it okay I I have a question about this because I think this is a great idea and a great post. But some of this is premised on this is the way in which we reign in bad actors, right? Do we think what is happening, maybe with Caitlin Clark and maybe just with like, the way we talk about a lot of things these days is kind of like poison and miserable. And I don't think that's any one person's fault or any one industry's fault.

is it because of bad actors or dumb actors? Like, I really can't tell using Caitlin Clark as an example. Is this a case of people who are like, I have my own agenda and I'm trying to use this as a way to like wedge into it? Or I'm stupid and but I am on X the Everything app wherever one has to see me and find out about nudes and bio. I think it's a combination of both because one of the things that we wrote is is that and we're using a metaphor at this point in which every topic is like a little town that gets overrun.

So newcomers to the little town of Caitlin Clark, we wrote today, like, people, whether through, I'm not sure that it's not a distinction without a difference, because whether through stupidity or ignorance or malice, newcomers to a topic now demand alignment of the place or the thing to their individual needs. Okay, that's fair. Yes, that is true. Like, they, they, and their individual needs are as follows to be right to champion a cause and to advocate for the person or team or thing beyond all rational limits and well past the actual interest or claims of the thing. Right. Like a three. And in doing so is what we're talking about. They change the rules of how one interacts with the thing. A three year old who demands ice cream at seven in the morning is not malicious, but has the same effect as a malicious person who's demanding that McDonald's served breakfast. at six in the evening. Yeah, you can be three or you can be 40 and an asshole and you can walk into somebody's house and be like, uh, turn on channels, turn on channel 70. Where is, you know, where is your cereal? And we're treating, we're treating every. The effect is the same.

Yeah. I think probably the ultimate uphill, I think probably the ultimate uphill arbiter of all of this is, is the, the, we know too much about each other and have too much access to each other. um like i i don't think there's any innate value in knowing uh then this is part of the you know this is part of the great battle of having your audience and i know we've talked about this with our split zone friends before the the notion of does all feedback inherently have value sure sure and it has volume but i'm not sure it has value well a lot of it reminds me of being a teenager when you're a teenager especially when you're like

in your later teens, I think it's very common to be like, I have big feelings about the world and things that are happening in it. Maybe it's politics. Maybe it's about like what's happening in your personal sphere. Maybe it's about art or music, whatever. And you also are old and you are mature enough to have a very high sense of your own intelligence experience maturity. And you do like, you do sort of think like I have expertise.

that should be brought to bear here and you can I may just be projecting this is maybe just how I was as a teen and not everybody else is like that so I shouldn't I shouldn't put this I used to my nemesis in debate was a girl who was just like that it is real good at like three topics yes and she could steer anything back to that topic yes it is I mean I also did speech and debate and I am an asshole and like yes this is it is very much that what's up Ashley but like I think hopefully as you get older you begin to learn that there are are lots of things that you are not an expert about and that you should have more questions than answers to and that you should it's good to like I think we've talked about this on the show before that sometimes it's good to be wrong because it helps you sort of like recontextualize what you thought you knew and you get to learn new things and like being right all the time is not necessarily all that valuable but like man with a lot of with a lot of the Caitlin Clark is the best Caitlin Clark stuff is the best example but it's like yeah So many people who are like, I am here and here is my treatise on my thorough.

I have the most thorough understanding on everything that has happened and that should be happening. And it's just, it's just really wild to see. I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you framed it like that because one of the other, the big, if I had to divide like the audience of, of screaming right now into like a pie chart, the biggest chunk of the pie right now would be people who have no interest in women's basketball or even basketball at all. They have interest in other things, and they just take every new, and the right wing is great at this, they just take, and also very funny at this, which we also get into in there, because without the

right wing take us fear, we never would have had that one guy saying that the troops could put together a team and compete in the NFL, and we would have missed out on one of the funniest moments of all time on the internet. But the biggest chunk of the screaming audience right now are people who have zero interest in the actual topic and are just using the news of the day to wedge underneath whatever it is they want to prop up in the first place. Yeah. Like it doesn't have anything. They don't, they don't give a shit about what, she could be a golfer. She could be the world's, you know, she could be the world's greatest attorney or something.

She could be like, you know, she could be an Olympic swimmer. she could be, like, she could be an inventor or something. It doesn't matter what Caitlin Clark is. It has nothing to do with her almost at this point. I think it's a thing where, um, excuse me, it's like anytime anything in sports has enough crossover with one of those culture war things, Tebow or Kelsey dating someone who is famous or, you know, anything that, uh, they can wedge that type of shit into. We'll see stuff like this.

So like, yeah, in a lot of ways, it has nothing to do with sports at all. and I think the other thing is it has a lot to do with everyone just sucks to talk about sports anyway and especially a league they don't understand because like the WMBA like there are things that anyone who knows anything about women's ball could have prepared you know people for is like it's a hard fucking league there's not many teams you know it's it's very um you have no time between there's low pay and therefore low turnover you have no time between the end of the college basketball season and the start of the pro season yeah it's like it's like a month from being, you know, from playing against future attorneys to playing against almost

literally all NBA teams in like game two, right? That's not a thing that anyone really understands if they all they watch is the NBA, the NFL, whatever. So like that's a unique thing about that league. I mean, you combine those two things and holy shit. I appreciated your, your repurposed Taylor Swift tweet, Jason, that it is. is possible to consume these things and be normal because you would never know it from looking at it right now. But we have, I guess that's maybe like the common factor here is like there is nothing, nothing that's happening in the discussion of Caitlin Clark and the WNBA is different from the discussion that happens about the Star Wars sequels. No, it's not about, because it's not about her. Yes.

This is just today. This is just what color it is today. But it is a weird way in which, and I will say this, I think. think there is some element of sports media that is maybe to blame for this not in the way that like a thing that has happened to sports media over the last let's say 20 years is that you got a it used to be pretty rare to have people who talked about everything most of the time people had a beat maybe that was like specific to a team or a league but like people developed a specialty and they didn't really go far outside of that you always have national calmness and like national television and radio people who did but they were like pretty

limited you had college football podcasts that stuck to their top no but you guys you guys remember a time when we would be called in to our NFL colleagues sure platforms to be like okay who are we getting yes right around draft time yes um and we have to you know we have to explain Josh Doxon to you or whatever. The and I think sort of like what went along with that with being a member of the media at that point was you could sort of like, um, your output and your participation sort of match the season you were following. So if you were a baseball writer and you got into December, you probably weren't writing

anything at that point. You were probably just off. But now if you are a person on the internet who works in sports, like you're probably making something all the time and so there is I think a very normal or maybe natural I guess inclination to sort of like follow the blood in the water

almost and I think you do get a lot of people who I will say this I think when readers and listeners see that like well this writer television person like Stephen A. Smith's a good example of this I don't think Stephen A. Smith

is a dumb ass but I think Stephen A. Smith feels completely comfortable having as big and as vocal and opinion as he wants to on any sport, regardless of if it's like the NBA, the man has covered for 30 years, has a ton of sources. Like, I get why he, like, it acts a certain way about certain NBA topics or whatever. But I do think there is something to, like, well, the media doesn't necessarily show you, like, doesn't necessarily show you, like, yeah, there are, like, levels to this. So why should fans?

Why should fans feel like that there is like, oh, I have more to learn here? It's like they trot out the same people all the time to write the column or record the podcast or whatever. Like I kind of get why people might sort of be in this fucked up brain space right now. And there are, Ron, you've heard this from me before in like a professional capacity. And I think you're one of the, you're one of the people who's good at this. And there's very few of them. but there are rare writers who I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this. And I know I phrased this to you before, Ryan, when you, when you've, you've come to me before, like, writing a piece and you don't have a conclusion.

Yeah. And like, you've got, you've come to me before when you've researched and written and you're like, I've gotten to the end of this and I still don't know what I think. Yes. I love to, I love to puzzle through it and throw up my hands. Right. And you're, you're one of those writers who, and this isn't true for everybody, but you're good at this and Godfrey is good at this also. I would just like if I had to like pick the top two out of our little cadre who are I am like whether or not you get a conclusion you're so specific at elucidating your own thought process that it's interesting watching you wrestle with a problem sure and you don't mind at the end saying like you know I still don't know what I think about all this and there are not a lot of people out in that there are not a lot of people in our industry I think who are either or maybe both who are not good at articulating their own thought processes or who don't

have the capacity to be interesting about it. So it's not, you know, it's not good to read or who don't have the security, you know, the, who don't have the self-confidence to say, hey, I'm not sure about this. Well, first of all, thank you. That's very nice you to say. Yeah, because I say it just to make you feel better. It's not true at all. This is the thing that people know about me that I say things just to make you feel better. No, I do appreciate it. Yeah, it's just, well, here's the other thought I had thinking about this. Part of why I've been wrestling with this is that, so I have aforementioned seven-year-old, who I just want to take to the airport and just let her, like, run around so she doesn't bother me all day, just for specific intervals. And we have to go to Jamba Juice or whatever. But she is,

starting to get into sports and she's starting to get into Caitlin Clark. She thinks Caitlin Clark is really interesting. She had a friend over the other day and they were just slandering Michael Jordan at the expectation. By comparison, compared her. Oh, I love this. In ways that I wasn't fully, like, I didn't really understand what was happening, but I did think it was pretty funny. No, but in a way, like, that's just as valid as anything else. Sure, sure there i've seen adults make arguments that are way less that are just as rooted purely in feelings who won't admit it so i what it led me to realize is that part of what can be fun or valuable about sports is sports can be a very safe place to have a big wrong opinion like that's

part of the fun of being a fan of a sports team is being like we're going to win 11 games this year the numbers say that you're going to win six or or like this dude's going to win the heisman he threw 30 interceptions last like what are you like but there is sort like but there's no it's a safe it's a safe landing spot it's not like it's not like arguing about net and yahoo no and it's not it's not like this cancer drug is although it feels sometimes as though it is sure it always feels sure and like it it I think traditionally it has been a place where you can sort of like yeah you can be a dumb ass about sports because it's because it doesn't matter because it doesn't matter but the dialogue and in some ways this is good and pat and i'm not going to say like we should go back to a time when we didn't have these subjects talked about but like once you start talking about race in sports and sexuality in sports and labor labor yes once you start connecting them to all the other things in the world that do matter yeah which you have to do right Right. So if sometimes it feels like we have this disconnect where the part of your brain that's like, yeah, it's sports.

You can just say some dumbass shit is not aligning at all with, oh, but we're talking about the parts of sports that aren't a bunch of dumb. Like you should be allowed to go online and say, like, Caitlin Clark has a national, you're saying we should have a national goblin mode. Yes. And like, look, there are people I follow on Twitter who like want to talk shit about Caitlin Clark, but because they think she's, She's a chucker who turns the ball over too much. And what, like, maybe, let's say they're wrong. I'm not saying they're wrong. Yes, I see you all. I didn't say shit.

I know. But I'm not like, I don't have any opinions about her as a basketball player. Let us say, let us say that that opinion is wrong. And I'm not saying that it is. That is the kind of Caitlin Clark opinion that should be safe to have. Caitlin Clark sucks at basketball is the possible kind of big, maybe wrong opinion that, that should be up for debate but it gets totally washed down

by all this other shit it's wild this is like when my lifelong hatred of Brittany Griner ran up against Britney Griner going to Russian prison and I had to look back on like you know how many times I've said Britney Griner should be in jail? Not like that!

Right, right. Yeah, yeah. It's probably Aaron Rogers' fault at this point. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know where I was going with any of that. So thank you for indulging me.

it's like if dog walking had some randomly was in you know mixed up in some giant societal thing that's requires actual knowledge to talk about like the weather which I yeah there's a really good example if you talk about the weather you think you're talking about something little and universally agreed upon but you're not because there's this whole other set of muscles and knowledge that you need to you in order to actually talk about the weather. Yeah. Weather, have you guys ever run a foul of weather, of weather Twitter? I, I am so afraid to ask what this is. Oh, I haven't done it myself. I've seen one of the scariest people we know in media get run up on by weather Twitter because this person mistook heat lightning over a, a football stadium during a game

for actual lightning. And this is it, this is a, I don't think that. necessarily, especially if you're like from up north, I don't think necessarily that this is something you might carry with you as knowledge. James Spann, that famous meteorologist from Alabama, jumped on this, but this is like years ago now, but I just remember this happening because I was like, weather, this is right on the time of horse girl Twitter and said they always go in a box with weather Twitter in my mind. James Span, when this sports personality mistook heat lightning for something else and tweeted about it, told this person,

and that they were being disrespectful to the victims of the Tuscaloosa tornadoes. Like, that was his lead. Wow. Wow. Um, just absolutely insane shit. Maybe. Anyway, I'm saying, it lives everywhere. I'm saying this just, this just feels, this feels the way it does because it's happening to us. Maybe, maybe nudes and bio art bots.

They're just people who've figured out this is the only safe thing you can say on Twitter. That won't get you yelled at by the weather. That's a great point. If I just say nudes and bio. It's like our, it's the international online shibboleth. Nobody fights me if I just say nudes in bio. Yeah, they're the ones who got it all figured out. I did recently learn as well from our friend Matt Berry that there is a conspiracy that the Challenger astronauts are still alive.

I somehow never heard that until he said that. I have not heard, and I haven't investigated it either because I'm a little afraid to poison my search algorithm with Challenger astronauts alive question mark. just poisoned it. Okay. Thank you. Nothing ever really does. Thank you. No, this is where,

it was, it was because we went from, I remember how this got there, we went from Kyrie to flat earthers to, hey, let's solve the flat earthers after we figure out what to do with the people who think the Challenger astronauts are still alive.

But to, if I remember correctly, do you remember who was supposed to be on the Challenger? Uh-uh. Big Bird. What? The plan for a long time.

I'm, No. Just I will look up because I was four. I don't remember. Oh, yeah. I don't remember this like from the time. But like, yes, there's there's an article about. Oh, God.

Big Bird was like just the puppet or the actor and the puppet. I assume I, well, I don't know. Because this was an educational one. That's why Krista McAuliffe was on there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a good question. But yes. Oh, God.

Apparently like the costume, the costume was too large and so they couldn't put. um yeah no carroll spenny who who played who played big bird uh talked about this in his documentary holy fuck yeah because the costume why does that disturb why that deserves me so much more than the actual death of the challenger assholes i'm not sure oh yeah no it's it's i mean like i i think but like being a child and being like big birds in that rocket and that would have but birds can fly so big bird could have saved them wait is it canon per follow that bird the big bird can't fly i think in that moment of stress i think that would have unlocked certainly could have glided to a safe this is this is very much a superhero origin story big bird's skill tree everything is counting on you

learning right now how to use your wings to fucking fly yeah action from the challenger alive reads the text of a video of a recent meeting of the brevard County Commission in Florida Brevard Brevard. Brevard. Oh my God. This is where my grandparents retired to. They're crazy. That we saw shared several times on Instagram. The video shows a man speaking during the meeting's public comment period. I think we all remember the Challenger explosion

that took place in 1986 that you think. Tragically took the lives of all seven astronauts on board. A couple days, a couple decades later, this thing called the internet came out and someone allegedly found almost all those astronauts alive and well, many using the exact same

names. Where? Okay, sorry, I'm not, I'm not engaging. Michael J. Smith, the pilot of the Challenger and astronaut, and also a professor at the University of Wisconsin, the man says. Weird, weird side note. Weird side note, one of my grandfather's oldest army buddies represented his widow in the case against the Challenger. Whoa.

Sweet ass house, too, because I got a lot of money. Okay. Okay. For that. It's very Michael Cain draws three of them. He lives in Winston-Salem. So, to be clear, this man in Florida also notes. Serber's in on it. Everybody just to work there, servers in on this.

I'm part of the conspiracy, baby. The man also notes, Commander Dick Scobie, who is now president of cows in trees. I'm sorry, did you say president of cows and trees? I'm just reading Politifact. So the man then says, finds another one and says, it's statistically impossible to have three people with the same names, ages, and faces as they're supposed doppelgangers.

So, this appears what it's amazed on. but appears to be based on some Florida government somebody who showed up to public comment somebody who just decided they got a microphone in there and I got some things

folks I've done some research when was this meeting did it even happen May 21st of this year it's rare you find a brand new conspiracy theory this one's hot all right so cows in trees

what might that be is that where the nudes are I googled it and I'm Nothing I'm completely out of loss here There's no cows in the trees Nor are there nudes in bio

Maybe Spencer will find them in France