Shutdown Fullcast - SUMMER SPORTS EXTRAVAGANZA

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

It's time once again for our annual Italian cycling episode, and Cap'n Surber's got the micWhat endurance athletes can learn from elite hot-dog eatersA Ryan segment serving as a reminder that we are also the nation's leading NAIA baseball podcastThe legend(s) of Rev The River MonsterWomen's College World Series celebratory segment, pointedly and hurtfully excluding StanfordMoving through our typical progression, we come next to the Knicks coaching searchAll of this sounds made up and somehow is not. It is JunePlease bring back the celebrity summer sports shows. ThanksJohn Currie, welcome back to the Tennessee group chat extended universeTrade secrets about preseason rankings, divulgedJason takes us out on a heaterFullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantzListen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.comCheck out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

I know we don't usually do this. Can we start with Cerber's thing? I'm so upset with... Him getting heated online is why I was like, I need to talk to it. Yeah, yeah. This is, listen, if there's any... If there ever was a time to call for the Kirby locker room, let's take it overseas, buddy.

Okay, so... What would Kirby say if he were in the Al, is it in the Alps? Um, well, Italian Alps, yeah, the Dolomites and so on and so forth. Are those Pyrenees? No, no, they have the Alps in Italy. Yeah. Okay, okay. Attention a attention, attention, Michael Server, Cycling Manager.

This are just an end. No, I'm not going to do that. Oh, come on. Do it. It's not a funny. It can't be less Italian than the Super Mario movie. Wait, Ryan, you're Italian speak for all of them. This is fine, right?

I bless all of this. I mean, Chicago Pope say this is fine. The Pope was at the 21st stage. They passed through the Vatican City. Okay, rant. All right. You got something on your heart. before we get into what's in my all my heart they there was this really strange thing where they went

through the vatican city on the final stage was really just a procession through rome and the winner of the pink jersey which is the best or the writer that wins the race the best young rider winner the points jersey and the winner the mountains classification all get up on this stage and just like sort of stand behind the pope while he like gives a little prayer and then they all get and everyone in the peloton watches and then they all get back on the bikes and then they just go race and it was really bizarre and strange but still kind of cool the thing about this race was there was a big power struggle amongst the leadership for the entire time um initially this young mexican writer uh isaac del toro became the first mexican rider to ever wear the malia rosa which is the uh leader's jersey

the equivalent of the yellow jersey and the tor de fronds um this is really cool he's only 21 years old he's on the same team as to as tod de pagacha who we've mentioned on this show before uh current three-time winner of the Tour de France and current defending champion of that race. Juan Iuso is a 22-year-old Spanish writer who has been dubbed to be the next great Spanish talent, the heir to Alberto Contador and Miguel N Duran, who are both tour champions. He is the leader of this team for the race. Isaac Deltoro, who is his teammate, takes the lead. This is a good thing because now Isaac Deltoro has the lead.

Juan Yuso is not responsible for any of the media obligations or anything. But then around stage seven, this becomes a problem because Juan Iuso cannot drop Isaac Del Toro. In fact, Isaac Del Toro drops his own teammate, Juan Iuso, to go with the favorites. So the two favorites go into this race, Juan Iuso and Primus Roglitch, the big rival of Todi Pagotcha, are done by like stage 10. Primus Roglitch falls several times, gets injured on the slippery wet streets of Italy, and he's out of the race completely. Wano Yuso has to abandon later on. Isaac del Toro is left in this position where UAE, who didn't really want him to lead and didn't really want him to extend his lead or do any of these things, now we're faced

with, oh, shit, we missed out on probably gaining two or three minutes of time because we told him to hold up, and now he's our leader. Meanwhile, Richard Carapas has rocketed ahead because they let him go when Awanayusa was on the race, and Richard Carapas is now 33 seconds behind. He's extremely dangerous. He's won the Giro de Talia before. How did he win it, you may ask? Well, Primos Rogelich, and I believe it was Tom Dumalan,

sort of like kind of focused only on each other, on a big climbing stage, and didn't really pay attention to what Richard Carapace was doing, and didn't worry about him going up the road. He went up the road, took the lead, never surrendered the pink jersey, won the race. Ironically, what happens now is, I haven't mentioned him yet.

His is the guy that won the race. Simon Yates is in third place, this entire time. He's lost a little bit of time here and there, but he's a minute and a half back roughly. In 2018, Simon Yates had led the Giro de Talia from basically the beginning. He was leading over a couple of riders who hadn't won a grand tour before, but in fourth place was Chris Frum, who's a four-time Tour de France winner. He had won the Vuelta-Spania at that point. What he was doing in 2018 was trying to complete the hat trick of winning all three grand tours. In fact, winning all three grand tours in a row, the tour, the Vuelta, and then the

Giro. He was like four minutes down. On the Co de la Fonestra, he launches an attack. Simon Yates blows up in the race lead and loses 40 minutes. Chris Frum gains like eight minutes on the rest of the field. Wins the Giro d'It Italia. So, flash forward to 2025. Simon Yates is in third place. They enter the Coel de la Fonestra. And the, and I'm probably butchering that. I'm sorry. Sorry, but the EF education team, who is the team of Richard Carapass, goes hard at the foot of the climb. They whip the race apart. It is down to Carapace. Isaac del Toro, the race leader.

And in third place, Simon Yates. Derek G., the Canadian writer who was in fourth, is kind of straggling off the back and hanging on. He's important because he cannot hang on to the pace of everyone. But I mention him now because at one point when it's the three riders, they let Simon Yates go up the road. They give him like 20 seconds. seconds, right? And they're like, this guy's a minute and a half down on us. We give him 20, 30 seconds. He's still a minute down in the overall, and he's still down on Richard Carapaz. At this point, Isaac Del Toro will not ride with Richard Carapaz. He is only sticking in the wheel of Richard Carapaz. With about 3K to go on the climb Carapaz. It's not towing you up this fucking climb anymore. You got to do something. I, like, second and third doesn't fucking matter to me. I've won this race before. I've come in this race before. I'll come in third now. I got, I really don't fucking care. Isaac Deltoro does nothing. no nothing it's important to note throughout this entire time information is coming to these riders from the team car in their ear on what to do clearly they have told exact del toro do not ride do not worry about simon yates they come to a near standstill and derrick g who has been straggling off the back for the last 10k comes flying past them because they're at a dead standstill nearly on a fucking 13% gradient climb trying to box each other out this happens so this is like that scene in the Lonely Island Tour de France parody, right?

100%. Where they're trying to go as slow as possible. This is John Cina. It's literally, right? And Derek G's like, fuck you guys. The problem is Simon Yates was already up the road. I think when Derek G goes by,

they're like, oh, hang on a second. There's a delay in the time that's probably gone up the road. And that time that that happened, Simon Yates kicked the lead out to two and a half minutes. Went over the top of the climb with a three minute lead. at this point Isaac Deltore is like oh shit I should probably start riding asked Richard Carapace to ride with him Richard Carapace is like nah man fuck you you're on your own when Simon Yates gets into the valley he is met by his teammate who

was sent up the road earlier in the day walt van art Walt van art is one of the top three cyclists in the world he's known for his expertise on the cobbles races like peri rebe rondevan vlander um he's also a former tour stage winner giro stage winner and Vuelta stage winner. He had just been chilling for the past hour and a half waiting for them to get up to him. He rips it the fuck open in the valley. Simon Yates opens up an eight minute lead. I'm sorry, he went to be 90 seconds back to eight minutes.

We don't talk about the last time we talk about people doing this type of shit besides like the weird Frum year was like the 60s and 50s when they raced multiple stages in a day. exact del Toro at one point looks over to the motorbike camera and just like slowly nods like oh man I really fucked up didn't I there's a slight little bump up to the finish line Simon Yates fucking rides it he comes in six and a half minutes ahead of the leaders the weird thing is Isaac del Toro then at the foot of the climb fucking rips he drops richard carapaz goes as hard as he has the entire fucking race and is like celebrating at the line smiling jovial clapping everybody on the back super happy you got to act like it was the plan you got to act like this is

the plan was to lose all along it's fucking infuriant because the and the reason i'm mad about this and any cycling fan that's listening to this is mad about this is because we are now spoiled by the pogotcha style of racing which is fuck you i'm going to race it's rimcoe evanipal in the tour last year saying to yonis finger guard sometimes you have to have the balls to fucking race guy unit's finger guard ended up dropping him in the mountains and getting three or four minutes on him But nonetheless, you like the panache, right? That was severely lacking this entire race. And then on the final day, Simon Yates,

undid the tragedy of 2018 in which he lost 40 minutes and the Jared Italia to come back win this race. He's now a Vuelta, Spagna winner and a Jared Italia winner. And now he will do the ultimate and why I think cycling is so cool. The ultimate team thing, he's going to go to the Tour de France and completely rip himself to shreds for Jonas Vingeggerda to hopefully help him win his third Tour de France. Cycling is a beautiful, perfect sport. You can never convince me otherwise.

Fuck you, Jonathan Votter's. You suck. So does EF education first. Why would you not just tell Richard Carapas to ditch this fucking loser kid and go find Simon Yates, who he still had a lead on and go win a second pink jersey? Additionally, UAE Team Emirates, I know he's not Pagotcha, but like, fucking do something. You lead the fucking race. It's the last day. Do something.

this is like this is like Georgia being down at the fucking three yard line they're down by four points with two seconds to go and they kick a fucking field goal Pat and Herduzzi's a wrecked right now So are you Are you mad

At the writers Or their team Like who do you think fucked up here The writers or the guys in their ear saying like Hey do this, don't do that Okay so the guys in the ear Totally fucked up by like saying just chill don't fucking worry about him or just worry about him.

The riders also fucked up because one of the beautiful things about the great champions of cycling in the past and anyone who's a true baradour and will fight for everything on the mountains is they will rip that fucking earpiece out and just fucking go. Look at Alberto Contador do it. Look at Chris Frum do it. Even that fucking

shithead piece of trash Lance Armstrong. He will rip that fucking earpiece out and shred his juiced up horse legs to oblivion. He doesn't care. That's what cycling is about. It has nothing to do with it's nothing to do with who is the best athlete and everything to do with who is the biggest masochist on the road if i were to compare this to football is the situation something like this

team is up by let's say 17 at the start of the fourth quarter coach starts calling kneel downs is like this is so smooth that we can just kneel it out from here yes and quarterback executes quarterback doesn't say that's a dumb plan we need to try to like score more points or move the ball like this is what we're watching and then they yes and then they lose and everyone on the losing team celebrates this is sounding like uh tech versus georgia last year kind of yeah yeah that got down to one i think this might have been a kinder way to lose the tech versus georgia they got down to the three and they said all our players are for two yards not three and then they celebrated afterward but that was the valorous version of

this actually I was thinking bailing this would be like tech versus Georgia if a third team came out of nowhere and was like whoops scored 60 points Alabama wins clean old crush and hate somehow mercer what are you doing here this is some real

Friday night football shit not high school yeah yeah this is the rare derogatory Friday night football shit this is like the backup quarterback is doing great and then in the fourth quarter because of their starter went down

but then in the fourth quarter you're like I'm not going to let him throw the ball anymore we got to tighten the reins here yeah I don't know but this kid's going to lose us the game you're up by 35 this is 99 Baylor UNLV where they have to where they just needed to kneel the ball and they run it

and it gets fumbled and goes back for like a 99 yard TD yeah that yeah can I throw it something positive Serbs yeah sure I think it's cool that we're seeing over the past couple years, uh, the emergence of Mexico as a power in, in several Olympic sports. Yes. Like this is this, when you were talking about this kid, it just reminded me of Donovan

Carrillo, the figure skater, um, for the like tiny, tiny fraction of our audience who are not figure skating enthusiasts, uh, Don Carrillo in 22 became the, uh, first Mexican figure skater to qualify for the Olympics. Fuck yeah. So, yeah, Isaac del Toro will come, will 100% compete in the Olympics in three years and I don't I haven't seen the course mad at him because I'm like you're 21 yeah I listen yeah I almost like in his head like his emergence by itself is like a net good yeah yes he's well he won the um tour de laveneer which is like the tour of the future essentially anyone who wins this race is then tapped as a future tour de france contender um but like that's only for the real like hashtag sickos committee of cycling um would would would really be knowing

about that. So this is his big coming out. Part of me does wonder if he was willing to listen to the team because he's like, I'm 21. I'm on the team of a guy who's always going to have the leadership over me. In fact, multiple guys over me. I don't really want this pressure right now. I'm stuck with this contract for another couple years. They're not going to pay me more if I win this Gero. Why don't I just chill? And then we'll see in a couple years whether Pagotcha wants to go somewhere else. They can make me leader or I'll go be a leader on some other team. And maybe I'll win the Vuelter or the Gero in between. In a business sense, he's acting rationally. And also, like, I will give him credit for celebrating at the end because if I did this

when I was 21, you would watch me disassemble my bike at the finish line, piece by piece, angrily just, just rip it into shreds. He deserves his, he deserves his flowers because for this entire race, the commentary team, riders, well, not all riders, but some riders, a lot of the cycling viewing public at large was just waiting for him to collapse and in fact he didn't collapse he made a tactical error like he lost the race

and he was helped in his tactical error yeah the funny thing is is he made a tactical error as a 21 year old the tactical error was also made with a 32 year old you know former grand tour winner in tow so that

a lot of people are letting Kara pass off and I get it he rode up most of that climb but like I also I also want him to just fucking let rip and do the damn thing And he would look like he was doing that in the previous couple stages to get himself into that position. And then at that point, it's like, why did your team turn themselves inside out for you to just kind of say, well, I'm actually fine with where we were anyway. In fact, one place less.

If I have to go back onto the team bus and face all my teammates who exhausted themselves and just, you know, tore themselves inside out for 23 straight weeks for me, I don't feel great about that. But I don't know either. That's what this is. This is a, we're not watching this tape, guys. There's nothing to learn. We'll just feel bad. Also, man, I can't blame, I never blame the riders for this because at that point, your body is deliberately trying to, like, deep, like, trying to flame broil your brain.

Like, this is, like, why didn't they make a better critical decision? Like, first of all, I need you to remember how it feels to pedal a bike up any hill. I know. I need you to know this is, like, what day, God, what day is this of the Giro? it was the day 20 of the of the of the day 20 yeah 20 and so they had had two rest days they started the race in albania um they all first of all i'm not criticizing anybody who i'm like how did you get here and you're like i biked here from albania yeah i'll know where albania is i don't know where albania is but i know it's far the pope blessed me yeah i mean they are it's why they're if you're doing an

activity and you see a priest that usually means you're dying yeah they're the they're they're godlike in that we so quickly are just like what the fuck were you thinking and he's like are you serious my legs are about to fall off yeah but um i mean i don't know perfect sport no notes thank you that i thanks for indulging me i mostly still can't believe this like i'm not a cycling fan and i'm still sort of like how did this happen like what you're describing makes more sense if like the year is 1937 and cycling you know and and you just have like no perspective but with all the people and cameras and everything it's like you shouldn't you shouldn't accidentally how did you actually tortoise in hair like that's a children's fable but you accidentally

did it here what that so much of cycling it like defies logic because most of the time like you would think you want to be in first place and you want the leader's jersey and you want to be winning at all times as early as you can be in the lead always be in the lead but like there's an active thing in the first two weeks of the race if you get the lead and you're actually contending for the win overall to like give that shit away i do not want this get this away from me i don't want it my team does not want the responsibility i do not want to talk to the press and do the podium and all so it's weird like it's it's like no no no we want to trail the entire game we want to trail the entire game you're like we're you're never expected at the at the 25

this is a very european no but he counts out tricycle tom yeah this was this was this was this was this this is a hobbit logic this is the closest we are to danger the further we are from harm yes the f1 thing is to go and be the slowest number one driver you can be right like that's it like that's why senate was so different because senate was like i will race the entire time as hard as i can every single lap and like the old school euro drivers were like the fuck no no chill boy chill like proost Alan Prost was known for like his goal was to be the slowest like winning driver he could possibly be because that's how you kept the car together that's how you did all like the conservative sort of planning to win a whole season worth of

stuff that's how I think the hot dog eating contest used to be I think I think for years it was just like first wait here where this is going great First of 15 is cool. Like, go back and look at like old, like in the 90s, like the winning numbers at the Nathan's hot dog. They're pathetic. Man, this guy ate 16 hot dogs. He's a big hungry boy. Want a big boy.

And then like the real pros come along and it's like fucking Barry Bonds sent back through time. Yeah, whoever was winning them hot dog shits in the 90s was playing against plumbers. Plumbers and milkmen. But look. The thing about how much better that, they were probably like, oh, what's my training regimen? I eat some hot dogs during the year, and then I show up. I'm not, like, actively forcing my body to contort itself to accommodate 67 hot dogs in one sitting. You're not like my loser. That's why.

Yeah, you're like, my lifespan is going to be shorter as a result of my devotion to the hot dog eating lifestyle. Think also about how much, uh, it's definitely doesn't sound like working. smarter to develop the process of what do you have to go through to learn when to pull back on the hot dogs sure what do you have to go through to learn when to throttle down stare into the hot dog base it's not what is that training montage like that doesn't sound like working smarter heart of hot dog darkness it's not vomiting and that's horrifying colonel hurts that like colonel cold cuts up the river that doesn't quite work i'm sorry it's pretty good yeah but like Like explosive vomiting is not the warning sign that turns people back. No, it is but a sideposts along the journey. Oh, it's a porcolapse now. Never mind. We got there.

That's Buckees. It's only 60 miles away and you're stopping there, but you've got to keep going. But we're not done. We're not done. Anyway, we should do some sort of combination, hot dog eating contest, cycling race. You can start the show now. Welcome to the shutdown Welcome to the shutdowns,

The shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. I am joined as always by Jason Kirk, Ryan Nanny, Holly Anderson, and Michael Server on the ones and twos. Had to think about it, didn't you? I want to make sure that I am reporting with as much accuracy as possible at all times, something I'm definitely known for. Server got us started with a rant.

Which is kind of a theme for today because for some reason, everybody came loaded for bear with, I got something on my chest. I got to get it all. A lot has happened. I am here to sing the praises of the LSU Shreveport Pilots baseball team. Oh my God. The best mascot in sports. This is not an argument.

What is that? Holly, since they're the pilots, surely it's some sort of jaunty captain or something like that. Right. Ryan, as I learned when reporting live from backstage at the Bass Master Classic a couple years ago, the LSU Shreveport mascot is Rev the river monster. How would you describe Rev to our visual audience here? Okay, you guys know, you guys know, uh, you guys know, uh, you guys know Sesame Street. Yes. Nope. Okay. All right. Uh, kids ask your grandparents. It's like if Oscar the Grouch had like, like, like an endomorph cousin whose legs you could see you know what it's kind of the midpoint of gritty and oscar the grouch yeah yes that's a very yeah that there's a cousin there's a cousin lineage

in there somewhere he he gives a little pacman ghost uh-huh around the around the head and neck area especially by pedal we think yes yes he does have he does have feet yep um he is the product of just just google him he has uh ls u s you shrieve pork clear knows what they have in this character. Uh, his, his memes are impeccable. He's got some real disturbing on an erotic level, uh, kind of glamour shots type, misty photographs of him that are, uh, official university projects. Um, anyway, I, I'm glad that we're celebrating this, but I assume you want to talk about

something besides the mascot. I, I mean, not, not to the exclusion of the mascot, certainly. Uh, LSU Shreveport. just won the NAA world series. That's great, and that's fun, and that's a thing that they had not done before. The more important thing to me is that this season, they went 59 and 0, and everyone is pretty sure this is the first time ever that a college baseball team has gone undefeated. And for the same, for pretty much the same reason as it's unusual insane for a major league baseball team to go undefeated or you know for a basketball team to go undefeated there's two

fucking many games there's so many and and basketball at least has like a constant flow of action where it's sort of like you're in it and you're in it for you know the 40 or 48 minutes that you're there baseball is meant to trick you into stop paying attention as a as a participant as a manager as somebody in the sand somebody watching on TV like you should lose some baseball games because you got bored and distracted. That's how it's supposed to work. It is like Jose Konseko had a ball bounce off his head for a home run. If that doesn't sum up what baseball is supposed to be sometimes, I don't know what does. But not only did the pilots go undefeated this season, they just fucking crushed everybody. They won 27 games by 10 or more

By 10 or more runs. Our friend Roger Sherman has a great post on this team at his substack, which you can find at rogersherman.substack.com. They stole 180 bases. They only have one player on the roster with 10 or more home runs. So they just like small ball you to death. My favorite number? Well, my two favorite numbers.

One. Okay. So you've won all these baseball games. Surely some of them were close. Do you know how many walkoff wins the LSU streetport? the LSU Stryport pilots had in 59 games. One, Spencer is correct. They had one walk-call win.

But my favorite number, the number that proves that this is the team of destiny, how many runs did the pilot score in this perfect season, this unblemished season? In 59 games. In 59 games. 500. 666 runs on the dot! Satan's true baseball team is here and there in Shreveport. And I'm one of those eyebrows at you, girl.

So I just, yeah, I, as, as America's number one NAA baseball podcast, I felt like it was our responsibility to give, uh, give, give the flowers to Rev and the rest. The disgusting swampy flowers. So you, you would think, you would think a new team, a relatively new institution and team like LSU, Shreveport would not have a whole lot of lore behind. the river monster? Yeah, sure. No, no, you wouldn't.

My friends, you were wrong. He existed long before at this university. And this is from, this is from LSU-Streveport's website. So this, I was looking at this as well. I'm glad we're getting into this. Good, good. In June of 20, it is a tangled story, to be clear. There is so much here.

Just as a preamble, you will not be able to follow the dates. That is part of the telling. You are about to listen to an unreliable narrator. Prepare yourself. Note how many years you hear in here. Stick yourself in time, listener. How many times will the story double back upon itself and make you question what has come before?

Welcome to this Lynchian baseball terror. It's time real in the NIA. This is if Mark, this is if David Lynch adapted a Mark Twain River story. Spitzer, can we trade off from sentence to sentence just to really amplify the sense of being tethered? Oh, in June of 2015, substantial rainfall caused the Red River to reach its highest level in over 70 years. Out of the rising waters, a friendly and mischievous river monster surfaced who had apparently been traveling up and down the river for quite some time.

I'm sorry, if you say friendly and mischievous river monster, I'm like, registered sex offender. Apparently been traveling up and down the river because it's like, he sure is wet. He must have been. He's only nine years old. He can't be his sex offender. Oh, that's what you think, Ryan? Nine years old, stay tuned. You've already fallen for the trap.

You've walked right into it. Ryan, Ryan, you opened this door, but we're about to come barreling through with some mythos. Nine years. The monster wanted to shed his nomadic ways and decided to make Bickham to Dixon Park his home to settle down for good. Having scoured the river, this is the spot. I've seen enough of the world at large. This is my home. Faculty and students of the Red River Education and Research Park, the R-R-E-R-E-R-P, for you morons who don't know what that is,

were the first to encounter this intriguing character and quickly befriended the lonely creature. He promptly began telling outlandish tales of mischief and mayhem from his journeys along the river. So now, all right. Now we had yarn. 2015 was when he finally made these friends. Okay, the creature told of one of his first encounters with people along the Red River in 1873 when he met a crew of men in charge of breaking up the logjam. Which log jam?

The logjam. Mm-hmm. Yeah. These men were the first to accept the monster for who or what he was. Before that, fuck this guy. Shoot him. Immediately, an unwavering kinship between the crew and the river monster developed. It appears to have wavered between 1873 and 2015.

Never mind. The crew finished clearing the log jam and never returned. Heartbroken and confused by the loss of his friends, the River Monster wandered back out into the Red River only to return to the Shreveport Basseye area periodically to play his practical jokes on the townspeople in LSUS. Until now. Holly, I think there is a timeline where the River Monster is the Shreveport Moonlight Killer. Why is that information that I needed and no one else on this show needed? There's a whole new paragraph.

Holly, you're the Sheriff of Streetport now. Tales of this river monster, scaring faculty and staff members. Oh, is that because of what happened to me in Bozier City? Yes. Okay. Is that how you say it? I always forget. It's Bozier.

That's great. Bosse A. This also has the distinction of, Well, I see why with this thing haunting the fucking river. I haven't slept in 50 years. I've been waiting for this mischievous, charming, friendly, quizzical creature to come. Terrify me. They have not killed dozens of workers before me.

Who's to say? Tales of this river monster, scaring faculty and staff members on the fourth floor. The fourth floor. Yes, the fourth floor. That's the skyscraper in the living. Louisiana yeah that's where that's where the good shitter is where the pool is yeah that's same thing pool shitter whatever river monster don't care it's all an ecosystem it's all a shitter now yeah but he never me I'm really glad you don't have a pool this led people to believe

that Bronson Hall was haunted what a silly idea that was no it's just haunted by a bronson hall your kin the shit monster the shit monster who killed those workers of hundred years ago, that's not a haunting. It's not haunting because he's not dead. He's not a haunting because he's neither dead nor sorry. That's right. He has no, he has no unfinished business. He just has ongoing business.

I love how unapologetically undead you are. He's our Joe Rogan for the last. Rev the killer. Yeah, these hauntings go back as far as New Year, 1973. However, sometime in early 2017, the river monster was spotted one night by an LSU staff member. So notice, 1873 was when he killed those workers. 1973 is when he first started haunting Bronson Hall's fourth floor for a century. The monster's whereabouts are completely unknown.

He was invited by members of the LSUS community as they believed he had something to offer the university. Weeds. He had weed. after meeting with him they agreed wholeheartedly that he did he did have weed he did have weed and catalytic converters i have copper wire this man has something to give us he found some cool shit in that river with the river monster's magnetic personality and tenacious attitude he will undoubtedly entertain and engage the student body of lsusus and would help give the athletic teams a competitive edge by cheering them to victory selling copper wire. I like that you've turned tree for it to some sort of dirtbag dairy. He's like, into.

Chearing them to victory, all I'm hearing is like stalking behind them. Yeah. Ready to feed again. So a new chapter is beginning for the River Monsters University's new mascot. I don't think he's qualified, man. This guy kills, he haunts, so on and so forth. He's either nine or 150. Mm-hmm.

Well, all you have to do to escape. Sludge of a killer, Bella. Yeah. Does this guy have a voice? I just want to know what he was doing during, like, the 1930s. I want to just want a bit more of that timeline filled in. Oh, he was a flapper. 100%.

The river flapper. Yeah. That's a good mascot, too. I mean, those are basically, those are disintegrated tassels that you see adorning his form. I do think LSU's Streeport's women's team should do the, we're the river flappers. That's our place. The lady river monsters. Mm-hmm.

the river monsters is telling you his hide his carpet from the raffles hotel in Singapore he was slinging drinks and again the team's name is not they're not the Shreveport river monsters they're the pilots but this dude yeah no killable red I think that is a point point of evidence in his favor right because like if if if the fucking river pilot shows up it's like okay that's a little too on the nose what are you trying to pull here but no our guy His story concludes, by the way, with will he still be as mischievous as ever? We will have to wait and see. But you know what?

All those harvested souls turned into an undefeated baseball season, didn't it? Is that who that team is? That's who those workers were all along? He kept them in his belly, and then he spat them onto the field, and they were the greatest NAAA.A.A. team of all time. Have you considered a much darker version of Angels in the outfield? Angels in the River Monster's belly. I love this so much. I'm so glad I took this trip with you.

Thank you for joining me. Honestly, the college stickball vibes are simply immaculate right now. If you are not taking part, just at all levels, you're missing out, especially this summer. I cannot believe Oklahoma lost. I can. You know, Texas Tech spent a lot of money on softball, and they're good at it. Folks, you should spend a lot of money on softball. Listen.

I'm also, like, lost within this story, and maybe it's not entirely lost. Maybe I just haven't read the right article about it. What are you, what is Stanford for if not spending a million dollars on us? Like, what is the point of being Stanford and having all this evil money? But like, ah, fuck it. Let her go to Lubbitt. Their entire thing has been being good at all the non-football sports that's been their whole bit. Right, right.

And now they're not. Like, if you have all this war criminal money, what the fuck are you doing with it? Let's see. Now, who, did they continue their director's cut to take? Is Stanford anything this year? They haven't, it has not been a particular, I know. Texas beat them last time around. Texas won three of the last four.

As far as championships go, it has not been like a super productive season for the Stanford Cardinal. Hmm. Yeah. I'm just saying, like, you got all this fucking, like, what are you doing? Investing in more war crimes. Sorry, if your passion is war crimes, Ryan, you know what you do with the profits? Reinvest. Go right back into war crimes.

Is it the, the, the, end. NIL portal era, did that inadvertently reroute Stanford's money back to war crimes? Like, was spending money on college swimming, the only thing holding Stanford back all along? The only thing we're holding our fragile piece together? Maybe so. Yeah, that tracks. I mean, yeah. Listen, if the NCAA could go into court and say LIL is why there is war, they would try.

I mean, we've just given them that idea. That's true. I was going to say, hold, because you might get that. You might get that real clear. quick. Perhaps our longest tenured listener, Charlie Baker. Hello, fuckface. I really did have a moment last week where I read something blah, blah, blah, NCAA, and I literally was like, oh, right, they still exist. Like, I had completely forgotten the NCAA exists. I just hadn't thought about them, and I don't know how long.

Who else will tell you that you're using the wrong cup at March Madness? It's true. It's not a corporate partner cup. I love that I love that you can make a million dollars playing college softball now I think I mean you can't no no I can't someone someone can't one person can I tell you the most beautiful exchange I've ever seen in this in this vein happened this week online and we know we're all familiar at this point with the I could hit a serve off of Serena Williams you know the tennis ball passes through my skull killing me instantly meme is a classic now I saw someone online line this week, talk themselves around to that notion in real time. And it was incredibly beautiful. Tennessee, who bombed out in the semifinals of the softball world series, has a pitcher named Carlin Pickens, who this year in the games leading up to these semifinals broke the record for fastest softball pitch ever thrown, a record that she herself was holding. I think

it was clocked at 79.4 miles an hour for reasons that are long and having to do with math and distance and convoluted, and I will let you look them up themselves. But this is about the equivalent of throwing a 111, 112 mile overhand ball. And we were, there was a discussion happening about this online. And I saw one gentleman say, you know, in response to this pitch, I don't even think I could throw that far overhand. And I was, I was trying to kind of be, I was trying to be inclusive, and I was, you know, because it's, it's, uh, college stick ball needs, needs bigger audiences. It's, it's, it's a lot of fun. It needs more. There, there should be more of you. So I'm, I'm trying to, trying to bring people in. And so I was kind of just

laying down Reese's pieces like for E.T. And I said, well, you know well, buddy, whatever his name was. Yeah, that's the equivalent of 112 mile an hour overhand ball. So yeah, I think it's pretty safe to say that you yourself could not have thrown this as fast. And he keeps going. He's like, yeah, I got a bum shoulder and I'm not even an athlete. And I'm like, uh-huh. And the tricky part is here is like, no, he got there, but watching the thought process was, was delightful. Like, well, you know, now that I have considered it, I have decided that I do not believe I will challenge Shaq to a game of force. This is all the shit that they should, like Mark Zuckerberg should have put in his dumb meta worlds.

Like, if you could actually be like, okay, yeah, here you can try to hit. You can try to return one Serena Williams serve. Cost $10. Upon future consideration, I do not believe I will be challenging Josh Allen to a passing contest. After much prayerful thought, I have decided that I do not believe I could hold serve against Roger Federer. I don't know. You can really huck it, I bet.

Oh, thanks. I have faith in you. this is like i get all of these mount everest tic talks and there's people in the comments who were like i would never do that i don't think i could do that thank you yeah it's like the you know i kind of there's a there's a point on on that spectrum at which i kind of love those those people because they are the they are the antithesis they are the biological necessity i think of the built different guys the the i decidedly am not built different and i am going to be militant about that built standard issue um i think has happened while we've been recording

this that i feel we should mention oh no the nicks have relieved tom tibodeau of his co-toe what for i honestly i don't i don't know i mean like being tom tibode the short answer is being tom tibode like doing tom tibode things but like why did you hunger him if he didn't think that was going to happen ryan i love the verb choice relieved because it's the only way anyone gets a break when he's in charge right that's that's the only relief anyone in his entire bench is getting in what way did tom tibodeau's tenure with the nix not match what you think you're going to get when you bring in a tom tibado it went great it's great like the nicks have been such garbage before this that like i mean sure i get that they're probably like our window might be closing

and we need to like this is but i don't know we don't even have to talk about the same question is when it happens in college ball. For who? Yeah. Is Tom Timon? Is it Tom Thomas? Wait, what? That's Doc Rivers music.

That's just saying basketball names. My key card still works. Isn't this exciting? I do want to see one year, someone crash the trophy handover that goes to the owner first, the thing everyone hates. Just show up as like a really weird looking white guy and position yourself just right. They will hand you that trophy. That's true.

Somebody's got to do it. The owner could wear. whatever they want to that. Like, you could dress up with me like Doc Brown from back to the future. They're going to give you the, like, you got to look rich, but like eccentric in a stupid way. Sure. Bad haircut. That's a good one.

Make sure you're lumpy. Yeah. Like, make it so that people look at you and think you're a billionaire? If you pull that off, you're going to get handed that. You're the Howard Hughes kind of billionaire. The entire Howard Hughes after like a year on the inside. Yeah. like it's it's either

Howard Hughes or Deus X like those are the two directions now that my team's one I'm going to smoke enough cigarettes to kill me right here on stage hey hey hey hey hey

yeah I just I don't know I couldn't let the the departure of Tom Tipido pass again the internet's only National Basketball Association something about up next in horse racing

as we As we span the globe and the banning of the globe. Don't get me started. The world of sports keeps spinning. We're recording this with like colored jackets with little seals and patches on the. That shit was boss. I agree. You know?

They got to bring that back. Yeah. That was why holy moly ruled. They wore little jackets with a little ABC logo on them. Do you know what I feel like we need to have every summer regardless of whether or not there's Olympics? And I resent that this only happened a couple times around the Olympics. Celebrity plus Olympic sport, like the celebrity, you remember the celebrity high diving show? No.

They tried like once. No. I don't think I'm making this up. I don't think I'm making this up. I really think there was one year. And I mean, celebrity as in like the dancing with the stars and some celebrities. Yeah. I really think, I don't think I'm hallucinating this.

I think NBC. Splash! It was called Splash! Yes. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was on it. Yes. Okay. I think there needs to be a, I think there needs to be a celebrity summer games every summer.

Here's the table of contents for the Wikipedia. page for a splash production history yep cast what is there controversy injuries is there we go and there are six different entries for this good god does kareem Abdul debar of all like top-line famous retired athletes have the most interesting portfolio of other skills let's call him a definitely like not just substack he's like an author author author he's been in he he's he was an airplane he had a memorable part in he was an airplane does he play music I don't think so don't quote me on that I'm not just for him he makes it but no one is just for him trained trained martial arts with Bruce Lee yeah don't forget

that and was in game of death was in game of death yeah yeah and domican sue was on this show god damn to this one saying don't you want don't you want this updated every year yeah kind of do with a new cast kind of do who won this bad boy oh i have no idea oh an extreme skier and in the winter we can do we can do celebrity figure skating holly this is this is this show is 12 years old i've had it listen that's one of two uh summer programs that has lodged in my craw for all time the other one is during the was it an melb strike that during the summer i think this was like 2005, 2006, ESPN ran Battle of the Gridiron Stars with actual active NFL players competing in like ropes courses, paintball canoeing. Most importantly, the episode in which

Peyton and Eli were captaining opposing teams and Peyton shot Eli in the neck with a paintball gun. What I heard in that list were the words paintball canoeing. And I just want to remove that comma. Jason, I think you have just... founded the summer's hit business on Lake Lanier besides cremation. We're going to do paintball marines on Lake Lanier. If you survive being in the water, you will not survive getting out of it. There is a college football connection to splash the American television series about celebrity high diving. Catherine Webb, aka AJ McCarran's girlfriend, suffered a back injury and had to withdraw from the show.

This show existed in multiple countries. it appears the only country where it's still airing is Romania. Hey, they got a strong gymnastics tradition there. In most countries, it's called Splash or Celebrity Splash or something like the big pool jump, the equivalent in the local

language. In Brazil, it's called Salty Bum. They're just advertising the butts. That's what they're selling Brazil about. All one word, salty bum. You want to tune in and see some wet butts? That comes after the news. which is referred to as newsbutt.

This is some Portuguese portmanteau that has nothing to do with butts, but yes, it does. It's saltyball. Yes, that's after in Bunda News, and then the late night Bunda noon. Well, speaking of dives, Holly, you mentioned you wanted to cannonball in, so if this isn't the time, I don't know when it is. We're in a good mood. I don't need to talk about Wake Forest baseball coach, um, who needs to be mailed back to his little cul-de-sac in a crate that's fine you sure that's fine there was there's been more developments since we started recording this as well i think wait again oh i i think he is issued a uh oh no that i've got the apology i've got the apology text which is remarkable for a couple of

reasons uh for those of you who are just joining us uh tennessee knocked wake forest the hell out of the leading up to what NCAA calls the super regional because the path to the college world series is insane. Anyway, Tennessee and Wake Forest had a game on Monday night. Things got chippy. Tennessee had a, I think, a four-run lead at the time when Andrew Fisher came up to bat. Wake Forest coach is seen on camera calling him an effing F word the other one. and very like just just enunciating with his entire trust and you got to imagine this guy who kind of looks like if a redwall abbey villain had fucked a pack of gushers Ryan apologies to you because I know gushers are very important to you but I think it's important to tell these truths where we find them and was perhaps raised by the little red dude in dress pants from inside out wow and so this guy utter utters this slur Andrew Fisher in response bangs a two-run Homer to put Tennessee up more than they already were. And if you want to know what kind of

asshole you have to be on television in a college baseball contest to get immediately bitch slapped back down by the haint, that'll do it. That'll do it. Tennessee's catcher, the reason, well, that was one thing. This coach was not sanctioned in any way. This became even more of a fervor later in the game because Tennessee's catcher, who whose name is Canon Peebles, Tennessee's catcher was himself ejected from the game for something he said to the other catcher. Umpires were asked in the post-game press conference. They were allowed to submit one question, our Tennessee beatwriter, via text, and he said,

you know, hey, high-stakes game, high-stress environment. In that environment, what did Tennessee's catcher say to get warranted? to get warranted an ejection, which is going to result in a suspension for the first game of the Super Regional, and their reply came back, about sportsmanship. Okay, anyway, this coach, whose name is Tom Walter, has issued a statement that is surprising in that he says, it starts with, I am very sorry, which is a shock. This is not something you usually get in these apologies. It then goes on, however, to say, while I do not remember the specific moment clearly,

that language doesn't reflect my values or the standards of this program. Yes, it fucking does. To be clear, this was 16 hours ago. Yeah, he says, he looks at the video of himself on television. He goes, I don't remember that. That's not, you know, that's not even, who are you going to believe? Me or the 8K video being beamed into your homes nationwide. He then goes on, it gets funnier to say, regardless, I own the consequences.

What consequences? I had to say I was sorry. You didn't have any consequences. Anyway, this is all very funny because do you know who's boss this guy is. Do you know who gets to hear from Tennessee people today? I forgot until you told me last night. Motherfucking

drum roll, folks. John Curry. Welcome back to Tennessee group chat hell. This time, it's personal and homophobic. Crank the group chat back up. Hey, buddy. Are many of these group chat forays at John Curry probably going to include worse slurs than the

one that was leveled on television? Yes, but progress is a process. We are working on it. We are actively working on ourselves as a fan base. Anyway, I stand by my statement from yesterday, which I remember completely in which I called for Tom Walter to be mailed back to his home in a crate. I am not interested in whether or not the crate has air holes in it. I am even less interested in the condition of Tom Walter when he is put into the crate. Can I plug something while I'm here, right down the street from Lindsay Nelson Stadium, this Saturday, June 8th, 7 p.m., 18 and up,

free event at the Tennessee Theater, which is a glorious old restored theater in the middle of downtown Knoxville. The annual Pride Variety Show in Knoxville is at 7 p.m. this evening. There are several full cast adjacent figures performing in the show. The folks you may have heard about in prior disaster episodes have acts scheduled to perform with this show. I hope you guys can make it. It's going to be a jolly good time. Fuck, Wake Forest. Also, we won.

I enjoy the part of his apology where he says, I don't recall that exact moment, meaning he may have been midstream in a long diatribe, a long diversified diatribe of slurs. It's on television. Right, but like they caught him saying that.

He's like, oh, I don't remember that exact moment. I'm like, he could have been like, going through the whole book of slurs. Right. Actually, you know what? In that sense, I do remember it. He was like, because this is, this also has the guy who has, he's got that Bobby Bowden look of like, you know this guy has called somebody a Spaniard and meant it as an insult.

Like, he's pulling out Dutch East India trading company slurs. He's just got that face. My friend and I were playing a Scatter Gros game and I had to come up with a slur that started with F and I regret my choice. I just realized what human he was. looks like he looks like the guy in newsies who uh runs the orphanage he said i don't remember the workhouse i don't remember that moment but yeah yeah that guy yeah tom tom walter who evidently knows all of the bad word all of the extremely offensive word that does make it more believable

anyway i think this is all very funny on one more level which is that uh this little kerfuffle and it will be a little kerfuffle because there's no fucking way this guy is going to see a dime or a second's worth of actual consequence for this i would love to be wrong i don't think i will be uh but this is all taking oxygen from the fact that they lost pretty badly yeah decisively yeah uh on a on a like delightful day for college baseball and soft softball otherwise like murray state all miss great game down to the wire murray state pulled that off We already mentioned Oklahoma getting knocked out by Texas Tech with and, and nearly- Let us sing of Murray and Wright State.

Yeah. Like, just, my God. Just a lot of like, is- Brian, I think you nailed it yesterday. You said this is some sports movie shit. It was, I believe, was in reference to the Texas Tech game. It was, yeah. I mean, Texas Tech, Texas Tech coming a strike away from shutting out Oklahoma for the first time

in five years, I believe, and knocking them out, only to then have to rally in the bottom of that inning to win on a fairly shallow fly ball, but one that scored the winning run all. Like, just deeply satisfying. Just deeply. It was very fun to watch, like, the sports most visible dynasty at the moment and the sports most visible premier player face off. in like the most the most like fictionally aggressive way possible it was great it was a lot of fun that one oklahoma pitcher looks like an art teacher i stand by it i like art teachers but you you need a killing machine up there sorry um should we do some brief podcast business before we continue our rants our many rants and race summer sports extravaganza that's right um yeah

Yeah. Podcast business. Oh, it's a business. Podcast business. That's a business. Podcast business. It's the sweaty time. And it's summer and there's nothing going on.

How often just in your day-to-day are you just making mouth horn noises like a Muppet? That's probably three minutes a day. Like you pretty regularly do it. Cape Shoeuvre. That's right. Yeah. I play a lot of, I play a lot of like, I remember Clifford.

you know, slow jazz, like classic jazz, yeah. The Dave Brubeck of the mouth, Spencer Hall. Yeah. Yeah,

nailed it. Wow. I mean, I'm not the only one who makes random noises. No, no, no, no.

No. I just wanted to know because you, like, absentmindedly went into a little trill, before you did the proper podcast music that's all i talked to myself all the i believe that yeah everybody does and make up songs about what i'm doing yeah all the time that's all normal or get one little part of a song stuck in my head all the time all normal yeah you're fine

this isn't a criticism a lot of this podcast frequently is a criticism of you but this part is for once no one is telling you you're wrong here's another thing i won't criticize the great content you can find at channel six that's fucking right channel six the greatest newsletter in the history of humanity that's right don't soft pedal it it's fucking great if you subscribe this week right now for 10 dollars a month or a hundred dollars for the annual membership um which is a deal unlike any other you get two things a week one of the things we're going to be producing this week we're going to be talking about one highly successful coach's superpower Hmm. Hmm.

An amazing superpower that I can safely say no other current head football coach has. That is true. Okay. That is 100% true. I have looked. It is true. No one is doing it like this dude and we need to talk about it more. Holly, do we want to give them a little preview of next week too? Next week's going to be crazy. Is next week rankings week, Spencer? Next week is rankings week because you know everybody's doing rankings. They're like, oh, here's the rank because we got nothing. It's summer. And we're like, fuck it. We're going to do rankings. No, the reverse is true. Listen, Andy Staples. Yeah. Longtime friend of all of us. When I first joined at Sports Illustrated, he was very kind enough to be, you know, showing me the rope, showing me around.

And I made some remark that I'm sure a lot of our readers have made, which is that, okay, even for something we are calling the way too early top 25, it is still the way too early. It's still way too early for this thing. I don't even remember what month it was. And Andy said, I got to show you something. And he went into whatever we were using the equivalent of chart beat was at Sports Illustrated at the time. And he showed me the reader numbers for the way too early top 25. And Andy has said himself more than once to the readers. And I will remind us again now, if y'all stopped reading this shit, we would stop writing it.

However, that's not how either of us work. Butterfingers are gross. What's in them? I don't know, but you put it in your body. Yeah. The day, the day people, and I will use this to volley over to Phantom Island because I maintain that this is true about the Cowboys. The day they stop pulling numbers, they won't be on TV as much. Ryan, what am I talking about? Holly, thank you very much for that seamless pivot to Phantom Island, the show that I have started with. You said that sarcastically. No, I did a good job.

It wasn't sarcastic. I just have a broken brain and mouth. No, it's all right. I'm not used to hearing that sincerely because it's usually directed at Spencer. You're right. That's fair. My sincere apologies. Phantom Island is the podcast that Stephen Godfrey and I do every week where we answer or at least talk about the things that we are wondering about. What Holly is referring to is a recent episode we did about some question of are the Dallas Cowboys on television too much? Is there some light math in it? Yes. Did I determine that the Cowboys are the NFL's team that are overexposed on primetime television? No, they are not. A different NFCE's team is, and that's pretty fun for me. Brian would have to pay to find out? You don't have to pay to listen to that show.

But if you do want to listen to the second show every week, you can go to phantom island. dot show sign up subscribe we have taken you know we've seen what channel six did for the industry with the the simple business of two things a week for the low low price of ten dollars and you know what you can y'all got fancy with it you can steal business ideas you can just swipe them so we still we stole phantom island channel seven we sold the channel six business model and we made it our own except it's for audio and channel six is for newsletters although there's audio as well and there's no women in it i will say this uh if you and i know i'm eliminating a large portion of the audience if you are like me a fan of stephen godfrey's work and the stuff he's done on

podcast in the past you may be very interested to sign up and see what's coming this friday right ryan that there may be something and i don't and i don't know i don't i not like i've got any inside info even though i am what's up guys producers on this show but you may want to listen to this Friday's episode would be worthwhile probably if you if you're into him if you're into Godfrey stuff you like his first album I'll just say Friday's a great day for a marriage

that's all I'm gonna say that's it Jason what do you have to tell us about from your hardworking brain and computer those two things have combined to produce for you let's see these days I work on the until Saturday newsletter for the athletic oh I said the athletic or now you have to tell me whether you subscribe or not I don't give a fuck.

The newsletter is free. And if you read it enough, then eventually you will subscribe, or you won't. You probably will, but you might not. I don't care. The newsletter is free. I do care, but the newsletter is free. So subscribe to get some college football stuff. Today I'm writing about Oklahoma.

Softball, in fact. Nobody cares about their football team. But Oklahoma softball is the leader there. Fun fact, do you know the long time, the history's longest championship streak by any NCAA team in history? It belongs to Kenyon College in Ohio, where the men's swimming and diving program won 31 in a row. Damn. Stunt on them. While more or less at the same time, the women's program won 17 championships in a row.

Oh, is that all? Was this back in the 20s when no one could swim? No, this began in the 80s and went through the 2000s. When no one could swim, sure, buddy. We were sailing the seven seas, but go ahead. I don't think you get to make that criticism, Spencer. I don't think you get to judge other people for not. being able to swim not ever spencer couldn't swim in the 20s and he can't swim now i can swim i just

can't float okay that's fair um server anything from the the killer ants with the z well uh yes uh june 28th uh at uh druid city brewing in the moon room the uh beloved establishment of one uh dirt bag and forecast reader beau hicks will be hosting killer along with Haysop for an evening of live music so if you're in the Tuscaloosa Birmingham surrounding Alabama area all are welcome please come out support my band support Hesop support Bo he's got a really cool small business there that even if you're not able to make it to this show for some reason you should still check out his brewery I'll just say that he didn't pay me to say that but they did give me a show

there so yeah there will be there's a tickets are 1251 real strokes heads We'll understand why the price is that. Those are on sale now. You can find the link on my blue sky and on our Instagram. And we've got new music coming out in the next couple of weeks here. We also have a show on Winston-Salem if you're in North Carolina on June 13th at the Den on Ogburn Avenue. I believe it's an all-ages show. I don't know.

But I think you can get straight edge on your hand and hang out if you're under 21. Or if you are a parent and have a teenager and you. you want to force them to come with you because i don't know making kids do show they don't want to do is funny to you i don't know it's character build is yeah so yeah that's all the stuff also hand in the dirt has uh just switched podcast providers we took a week off we are now back um and please subscribe to that show follow me and felder and hartzel um and sometimes people from the show will come on and talk to us about what what they're doing uh outside of sports and stuff.

Ryan was on pretty recently. That was a good episode. Yeah, we did have Ryan recently. They're all good episodes. We're due for all of the rest of y'all to come on at any point. So. Yeah, I had to bail out a couple weeks ago for a tree falling on house reasons. That wasn't your fault.

That was Hartz's fault. I don't know what you're talking about. Thus concludes. Podcast business. Now that we're over an hour into the show, should we conclude with the one piece of college football that you wanted to break to the table, Jason. Did I?

Yeah. Wait, wasn't that you? It was. I thought it was in the dock. I will find it. Big Ten's 50 billion auto games. Oh, that, that. Okay, yeah. You said we were all doing rants and I didn't have one, so I didn't think. Okay, so I mean, yeah, like the Big Ten is very funny to me.

I got to go in a minute, but yeah, they're still very funny to me. All right, Mac. Another classic Jason Rann. It's done, ow! Sorry that it was too fucking hot for you, but... Get rid of things, said! So toxic! Damn!