Shutdown Fullcast - Surrender To The Hook Of Enlightenment

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

Get your exclusive Nashville Super Bowl merchandise hereLet's Remember Some Ancient CursesBrendan Sorsby's just trying to keep the spark alive, babyConsider the state of ArizonaA dramatic rendition of Podcast BusinessPlayoff Expansion Talk, For Who/For What EditionThe Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 29 (twenty-nine!!) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)Now through June 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch sold through the Shutdown Fullstore will be donated to the Transgender Resource Center of New MexicoShutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz

Can I just jump straight into discussing the Nashville Super Bowl? I'm so excited about this. I think, yes. The topic that delivers excitement is one to start with. Nashville's getting a Super Bowl, y'all. I'm so jacked. I'm so thrilled about the way that town is going to welcome the rest of the world, the rest of the football world,

because y'all ain't ready. Y'all ain't ready. It'll be like, oh, is Nashville ready for the Super Bowl? No, is the Super Bowl ready for Nashville? Huh? Woo! I don't think so. I don't think you're ready for this.

I don't think you're ready for that much. Woo. I don't think you're ready for the pedal taverns. I don't think you're ready. I don't think you're ready for that much horrible nightlife in a four-block span. I really don't. You're going to lose somebody, right? I don't know if it's going to be an NFL media personality.

I don't know if it's going to be a starter. I don't know if it's going to be an offensive lineman. Probably be an offensive lineman. Let's be honest. You know how there are these videos that talk about the perfect composition for each offensive line based on the articles that talk about what's going to be the perfect offensive line, what their political beliefs and alignment should be. What X men they are?

Yes, what X men they are. No, I mean, nothing that brilliant. It'll be your guard. It'll be your guard. It'll be the guard who went to Iowa. or it'll be the guard who went to Iowa or the other guard who went to Iowa. They'll do something stupid, right?

They'll be like, I'm hanging out with Morgan Wallin. I can throw a chair off the roof of Morgan Wallin's sausage and poop hut. Race historian. Nobody ever thinks about throwing Morgan Wallen off a roof. Maybe this guard will do it. Maybe you'll be like, hey, dude, I'll love your music. I'm going to honor you by throwing you like a hay bale.

the traditions of my people it would be a area of mice and men way for him to go out we would not be that lucky he would live this Nashville Super Bowl as far as this nightlife element goes

in what ways is it worse than a Vegas Super Bowl I guess is my thing because we've survived that mostly yeah that's okay so it's going to be worse because one Vegas is kind of for and against everyone in exactly the same way. No matter who you are,

Vegas is going to stack up four and against you in equal force. You're going to lose a lot of money. You're going to drink a little too much. And you are generally welcome as long as the paper's green. Nashville, it's not that you're not welcome. It's just not built for a lot of people, particularly if you're not, you know, it is white Wakanda. Well, I was going to say, what do you mean? It's not that you're not welcome. I mean, you might not be welcome. There are different definitions of welcome, perhaps.

And you. Yeah, and you. I was just saying that, like, if you're black, if you're Latino, if you're Asian, it's not, if you're anything other than the white Wakanda that Nashville is built for, targeted to, and engineered around, it's going to feel a little weird, right? I didn't say racist, although that's certainly included in the package. There is that. This is the place that did have a very, very bad statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest,

as recently as, you know, four years ago. It's so bad that if you had a positive spin, you could say it was meant a satire, right? Yeah, so bad that it was almost a joke, right? Almost. But it's just not made. It's not engineered for y'all. And it doesn't contain it doesn't contain certain assumptions. For instance, I will swear to my dying day that white people who live in Tennessee do not believe the law applies to them. Just doesn't. It just doesn't. Right. And sometimes it doesn't. Right. Yeah. That theory is supported in reality. Yeah. You know, like, hey, course I can drive my, of course I can take my riding lawnmower to the bar. A thing. A country's once did. And there's a difference in doing that in the hills or in the utopia of Memphis versus doing it in a large city. Versus doing it when you do it, you're in people's way.

Yeah, yeah. There's going to be a conflict there, right, in your mind. There will be, I think, vast differentials in the reports of satisfaction to a Nashville Super Bowl, right? It's a, it's a Vegas Super Bowl, but where some people who are going, it is their home base. the people that is they're very much playing a road game no matter who they're a fan of i mean the titans won't be there to be clear so it's it's not it's not literally a home game for anyone they are the least likely team to be there to be very clear i'm referring to the fan bases wouldn't it be magical if the titans make yes literally that would literally magical it is an act of magic is what it would require yes but they could be there yeah technically it's there there's no

against it again is noted but I mean they'll be close they'll be at home vicinity wise yep their logo will be on some of the stuff in the building 14 miles they can't clean all of them off they'll be 14 miles away in Franklin you think we should live FIFA style rules to where like when this happens at Titan Stadium they have to scrub all Titans mentions from it so as not to detract from the glamour of the game I mean it would be really unsightly like imagine if you you know you're some company paying $50 million for an ad

and then they come back from your ad and the first thing you see is a Titans logo. How am I supposed to explain Tennessee Titans football to my kids? I mean, yeah, like then people are going to be like, wait a minute, Tennessee has an NFL team, you know? One day. One day.

I thought they were just using some stadium. I thought this was a racist country singer's bar, the biggest one. I thought that's what this football stadium was. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Does somebody have a problem with Jason

Al Dean's Grundle Hut. Aldeem, no cattle. Yeah. I'm sorry. I had a great time at Jason Aldean's

Grundle Hut. Try that in a mall town. Oh, yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait. Especially, man. My aunt's going to have all of the get down on it,

all the gossip and everything. The gossip, the country music star gossip alone is going to fuel that place for like at least six years. Let's see. before then we have LA, Atlanta,

Vegas. Is this a break? Did they build a break into the schedule? It sounds like they built a break. Like on the fourth day of Disney, of your Disney trip, when you've done like park, park, and then the fourth day is like, let's stay at the hotel pool. I think if you're awarded a Super Bowl,

then your team should get a slot in the playoffs. Much like in the World Cup, the host gets, yeah, The World Cup, the host, gets an auto bid. This is how Italy and the Titans get to participate in the tournament. Yes, two teams in blue that do not qualify for the postseason anymore. Two teams that ain't won shit in a long time.

Yes, yes. But that's how we get the Titans in, right? And yeah, they're going to eat a playoff spot, but have you seen what the wild card looks like? Come on. Like, why the fuck did we expand to the weird number of seven on each side? You know, there's a spot left over that no one cares about. It's okay. Yeah.

And then like on the other side, you know, if like the Titans are taking the AFCs just for fun bid, you know, put the Cardinals in. Who cares? Remind people the Cardinals exist. There's no way of knowing. Put the Super Bowl host team in and then whichever AFC or NFC team is not in that conference. That one gets to be a fan vote. Yeah. Or like the one furthest.

Easily riggedable fan vote. Like, let's see. So that, well, not furthest because of it. end up. Yeah, actually, that is pretty fair. That is pretty fair. Let's just do that. Whoever on the other side is furthest from Nashville. Dolphins, welcome. Isn't it always going to be the dolphins, which will also be fun in a different way? Furthest from Nashville? I don't know, is Seattle farther? Yeah, but they'll be in the actual

playoffs. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Listen, either way, we're making dreams come true. So I think it is the Cardinals. I think I had it right the first time. Because everyone else is in the playoffs. I do enjoy being as somebody who is, you know, maybe a little, like I'm not, Jason, you're an Atlanta Falcons fan. Am I too generous or not generous enough to the Atlanta Falcons? In what sense? I mean, I think there are curse presents that I don't want in my house.

Yeah, they're cursed, but I would argue with the second part. The curse, it's a fun curse. I think it's, you just have to learn how to, learn how to enjoy a curse, I think is the thing. Learn? Like the default assumption is like it's bad and therefore it's no fun, you know? And like there's a disconnect in the middle there. It's bad and therefore it's fun. That is the way to observe.

That's the way to live. It's the they're the moon night of franchises, right? Like, hey, listen, you're cursed. Moon night has a great time. Hey, Falcons fan. How's your dead family? Moon night. Moon night loves his job so much.

He does. He does. The Falcons could learn a lot from me. It just changes the channel. Just see what's going on in the AFC or the other half of my brain. But like, that's, imagine, imagine we get the Falcons in the playoffs because Atlanta's hosting. It's happened before. They have attended the postseason before.

It has happened. And amazing things happened when they did. Amazing. That's a valid adjective every time. Unprecedented ones. Often. Often. I like that you're like, hey, listen, man, syphilis is uncurable.

But if you know how to steer into it, it's crazy. I think, like, from that perspective, it'd be like there's going to be Wikipedia pages about what we're accomplishing here today. Which is, you know. Having a Wikipedia page is really a double-edged sword. Controversies. Right? Yeah. It might be an indication of your fame or stature.

Or it might be a slot to include controversies and deaths. Let's see here. The Atlanta Falcons Wikipedia page. Yeah, there's nothing crazy as far as sections go, which that feels like censorship, honestly. It feels like we're whitewashing the history and not letting the youths know what's going on in here. They got to know. And that's the only place they're going to look. Do the Arizona Cardinals have a Wikipedia page?

They do. Wow. There's so much information. Is it on fandom or is it on actual Wikipedia? Nobody, wow, look at all this stuff you could learn about this team, as if it's real. As if they're a thing. The power, it's a testament to the power of the human imagination. This is nuts, man.

There's so many words here. Who wrote all this? Who wrote all this shit? A human being, presumably wrote that. Fans of the Arizona Cardinals include Jordan Sparks. Yeah. Their famous fans are Blake Shelton and Jordan Sparks. That's it.

That's all they got. who did the Falcons have listed under famous fans? Every rapper? Every rapper. Yeah, this is, I would love, I would absolutely love for LA, for like Los Angeles, I'm sorry, for Las Vegas to get the auto bid. Because that means the Raiders would get in. And then we would watch a game where the Raiders would lose in the playoffs by like 400 points. Could it just be whoever has the longest playoff drought?

Oh, that's fun. Yeah. just end it? So like, Jets? Oh, they'll end it. Come on down, Jets. Yeah, because then when you talked about how long it had been since the team had been to the postseason, you could put little asterisks besides the ones that only got into it.

And more asterisks for the Jets always sounds like a great idea. The teams that went to the actual playoffs. Like, oh, let's do it like the NBA. You got the play-in games, right? Whichever the, like the Titans get the play-in invite. How's that? Yeah, and they play their way in by... And they play their way out.

It's very tiny. It's the playout game. Good job. Also, if I'm a coach for that team, totally fucking going on the resume. Led the team to the playoffs. By which I mean, I ran out of the tunnel first.

I was there. Don't ask how. Anyway, if y'all are going to go to the Nashville Super Bowl, good luck staying in Franklin. because that's we're going to be sleeping because they got enough hotels you can say hi to my family folks speaking of curses holly i'm going to ask a bold question uh-huh our curse is real spencer i'm so glad you asked it's been a while since we have talked about the city of pompey and the famed uncles thereof here's how to here's how to write a headline here's an important

lesson in how to write a headline. Czech police find stolen skull of 13th century saint, semicolon, suspect arrested. Sure. Detail from BBC coverage via Isabel Kuster. After the skull was stolen, the church condemned its theft, saying it was an attack on its spiritual heritage. The archbishop even warned of divine retribution.

It could happen that some curse or misfortune may be fall that thief, he said in a statement to Radio Prague International. That is not a threat. It is reality. Such things do happen. Too right, Bestie. And then people started circulating in response to this. The Guardian story from 2020 were a tourist who had stolen artifacts from Pompeii returned them after, by the way, lady tourist, Canadian lady tourist. Not my first call. stolen ceramics from an archaeological site in Pompeii returned them after claiming she had been cursed ever since she brought them home. See? And she included a note that said, please take them back.

They bring bad luck. Please take them. And that she wanted forgiveness from God. This is somebody's job, by the way. It's like somebody's job in the Italian government is like, okay, okay. John Batista, I need you to go and I'm going to need you to go get the cursed shit. That's your job today. You got to go get the curse plates.

This is every country with old shit, right? Yeah. Every country with old shit that people take. Yeah. Somebody's got to go get it. Like, that's somebody's job. Right? And then they have to go home and they have to be like, yeah, I got to go get the skull.

Yeah. You know? You guys remember that Egyptian sarcophagus in like 2018 that was full of red liquid that they opened up? Yes. I can't find the quote just now. but there was a quote from, I want to say, the Egyptian Minister of Antiquities,

which was a real, like something like that. It was a real like Indiana Jones sounding office. And he was trying to tamp down rumors and hysteria about people who I think were pretty understandably apprehensive about opening up a dark sarcophagus filled with red liquid. There was an internet petition circulating for a while for people asking to drink it. Congratulations, posters. And he said,

something that just, he said, I stuck my whole head inside the tomb, and as you can see, I am fine. Like, no great darkness has befallen the world. This is 2018. And I kind of want to think, I don't know, I kind of want to find that dude and ask him what he thinks now. Hey on. It says alive for now. I mean, this is a slow-ass curse. I think if you die eight years later, that's not a curse, that's just you died eight years later. I mean, if you die eight years later, then the curse is really like stealing valor. Especially if you're over a certain age. Right, yeah.

Oh my God, this 76 year old man died 35 years after the curse. Yeah. Like, there's a, there's an allegedly a curse around like the tomb of Tutankhamun. And reality, the reality of it is, the, the reality of it is, the curse. that like it's just a lot of ways that people died in the 30s? You know? I have found it. I have found the quote.

Okay. Mustafa Waziri, secretary, the amazing title. Secretary General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities told reporters after opening this in July 2018, I was the first to put my whole head inside the sarcophagus. And here I stand before you. I am fine. We've opened it and thank God. The world has not fallen into darkness.

Bang. What about now? Yeah, come on, Mustafa. What's up? He's doing fine. For now. I'll go in the tomb. Bring me the tomb.

How about tonight? I'm afraid of the tomb. I'll go in. I'll go skateboard through the tomb. Mustafa Waziri come on the full cast. Bet, can you dress as a mummy before skateboarding through the tomb? Sure. So that somebody has to go again the guy returns the curse skull and he's like

Fine fine fine yeah I'll go check on the tomb one more time long-ass day walk in your skateboarding Dressed as a mummy through the tomb and he's like nah I didn't we didn't we didn't communicate ahead of time Yeah we know I was doing this I got a dental appointment we got two different test the curse tours and they run into each other that's good comedy right and they both think the other one is the curse and then you fall in love I mean if that's if that's if that's what the script screenwriter calls for. Yeah. I'm trying to serve the story here. If that's what people want,

yeah. If they want to see skateboard mummy fall in love, I can play that role. Skateboard mummy. Skateboard mummy. What was that post about like if you see in the old day surfboard Dracula, you see that fool surfing every week. Now they got to explain where you got a surfboard.

That's me. Skateboard Mummy, the sequel. Skateboard Mummy 3. Skateboard Mummy in love. Skate board mummy falls in love. We decided to pivot from. horror to romance.

But, you know, the long time fans, you'd think they'd be upset, but they've been calling for it for a long time. Hey, man, the world could stand to pivot from horror to romance. That's what I'm saying. That's the tagline right there. And then, like, the curse that gets relieved, released is one of love. That's beautiful. That's what they were storing in there all along. Listen, I'm afraid that the real curse in all of our cases is a talent.

people say that about us it turns out the real curse was the friends we didn't make along the way man mummy's got to have friends because you think they can't wrap themselves and also like they get buried with all their best friends you know so yeah the cure for the male the cure for the male loneliness listen the original cure for male loneliness these guys had to figure out hang out with the homies hang out with the homies in my tomb hang out with the homeies in my tomb homies for six thousand years until some asshole barges in to test whether we're cursed or not it's it will never stop being insane to me that we have as a human species have decided that it is fine to just go barging into some people's graves because they're old graves yeah like if if somebody

did this is somebody buried last week would be like you sick freak what are you doing oh i'm testing the curse yeah i bet that's what you're doing yeah i will give you a curse to test if you disturb my nap after all this time? It's basically saying you've been dead long enough. They're like, yeah, you've been. Yeah, that's what, yeah, and they deserve whatever happens after that. Yeah, you stayed dead that long? You woke me up. Yeah. Get back to work. Yeah. You fucking bum. Six thousand years. You ain't done shit. I do think this whole like, if you bring something old

from somewhere and put it in a place, you have contracted a curse thing. That would. explained a lot of like england you know because they're the ones who took the most shit so like look at their soccer team it's not coming home it ain't nothing it's not coming home until all the mummy stuff comes home you got to send all that other shit home and then it it's still like come home but yeah it's still no it's not it's not england's got enough mummy stuff mommy mummy to the shutdown forecast you're listening to the internet's only college football podcast I am Spencer Hall, joined today by Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and Michael Serbert on the ones and twos. We do have a bit of news, by the way.

Actual college football news. You say we don't discuss actual news. Who says that? You know they. They. The ones plotting on your, yeah, the haters. The ones plotting on your downfall. Scheming.

Schemeanor our inevitable downfall. Yeah. The ones, you know, the mummies, the mummies who hate on those of us who are dank enough, to have figured out how to skateboard in the afterlife. Wrapped up in the bandages of loathing. Yeah. We don't pay them no mind because we know we're going to do our due diligence. We're going to tell you that Texas Tech.

We don't pay them no mind because our brains have been extracted through our nose by a brass hook. The hook of enlighten. Yeah, we didn't need them anymore. The hook of enlightenment has freed us. Surrender to the hook of enlightenment. Suck it in, suck it in. Put your brain in this jar full of honey. I wanted to let everyone know that, yes, Texas Tech has declared Brendan Sorsby ineligible.

Have they given up on Brendan Sorsby's case? Well, of course not, even though that case is probably done, because when your defense for gambling is, I believed in my homie so much, I motivated them by placing bets on all of us. Can I say something? Mm-hmm. This wasn't funny before, and it's funny now. Yeah, it's... And it's entirely because of what Brendan Sorsby has said in his defense. if your defense is funny

you've already lost listen this was not funny before before you yell at me put your keyboards down this was not funny before Sorsby has now made it funny it had funny things about it but it's the Spencer read the quote

I'm going to read the quote so it comes from his lawsuit in an attempt to go ahead and get the NCAA to wrap shit up so he knows whether he's going to the supplemental draft or not. And in the process of defending himself, he says a number of things. And honestly, as a former 18-year-old idiot, I found all of it extremely relatable. Like, there's nothing this dude said from, he's, you know, from referring to things he did when he was 18, that I'm like,

grr he should have been a better person uh with disgraceful like it's all like oh yeah yeah yeah been guys being dudes yeah um this is by the way as defense team says that he is suffering from a clinically diagnosed gambling disorder that's not the funny part that's not the funny part so all right he says when he was a player for indiana he went from indiana to cincinnati texas tech and the investigation concerns bets he placed on the Hoosiers when he was a Hoosier. He admits to placing small bets on Indiana, typically no more than $50. This is back in 2022 when he wasn't playing, buried on the depth chart, freshman, just hanging around.

And like, should he have done this? No. He shouldn't have done this. This is my big moral speech about he says. He explains it as being one of the ways he could, quote, feel more connected. to the team. And, you know, man, those are your boys. Those are your homies.

And you don't get to play football. But you can support the guys. In the affidavit, Soresby says. To be clear, I never placed any bets against Indiana or any against any players on the team. I never used any non-public information that I knew about the team in deciding what bets to place. My bets were purely intended to make me feel more connected to the game and my teammates and to give me more of a reason to route for my team. You blew right by that last sentence and that's the important part. Read it again. Zero in on it, Holly. Tell us, tell us, spotlight it for us.

The second to last sentence is Spencer, right. Go back. My bets were purely intended to make me feel more connected to the game. That, that. This was a let's fix the marriage. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, I, the next sentence is a good one too. Because the Indiana football team was not a very strong competitor in 2022. I lost most of the bets. I, placed. Yeah. In retrospect. And then, yeah, and they go straight to negging. Yes, in retrospect, by the end of my freshman year in Indiana, I was truly addicted to gambling. Yeah. Yeah. And, well, it's kind of redundant because you're like a freshman college student. Like, therefore, you are addicted to gambling. It's, you're, you're, you're an American under the

age of 26 or over the age of 26. It goes without saying you're addicted to gambling. Um, and like the stuff he admits to betting on is just like, I mean, anyone who has never wagered hears this and is like chortle, chortle moral superior. Anyone who has ever been, you know, me or Roger Sherman or anyone along our lines here as he was betting on Turkish basketball, Romanian soccer. And pre-Curtzignetti Indiana football is like, yeah, man, it happens. It happens. There's worse. There's worse. Non-major doubles tennis tournaments. Yeah, it happens. It's on the. app and the major league baseball draft and baseball pitch by pitch stuff where like that i mean honestly that you know that could be harmless fun like you're sitting in the stands at the reds game which is not going to matter you've had a few 35 dollar beers with the homies and you're betting two dollars at a time on pitches like it sounds unbelievably down bad but i mean again once you're betting on

romanian soccer yeah that's not the part that's down bad the part this down bad the part this down bad is when you're betting on Turkish basketball. It's when you're betting on the Indiana Hoosiers to win at football before Kurt Zignetti shows up. But he did it to feel more connected to the team, which is something that he could not have done in any other way while being on the team. Last on the depth chart. How much deeper do you want to be connected to this team? I get it. He was that committed.

Look at me. Hey, fellas, look, we got this. We got this. We're going to beat Ohio State. This is objectively hilarious. Don't yell at me. I got $15 on this. Yeah, it's, it's, my saying is it's both funny and completely understandable.

It's funny because it's completely understandable. Like, we got this. I got 20 on us beating Michigan. Brother. That's funny. Don't dial that number. Dial that number. Call it.

I don't know, man. Like, yeah, I get it. I'm not going to be sanctimonious about it, but I will say this. That's down bad, brother. Yeah, they all are. That's in the shit. The shit's everywhere. Yeah.

That is in the shit. And it was on your phone, which is kind of... It's on everybody's phone. Yeah, that's the whole issue right there. The phones are made of shit. Like, just imagine when somebody says, oh, man, you really should have had more discipline. Okay, yeah, I'm sure. But just imagine, my historical case, give Ben Franklin a smartphone.

gambling on porn you'd be like the United States never happened The gun totingest, bear-killingist Fuck machinist founding father a smartphone They got they got porn on Kalshi Yeah They call it polymarket if it's not poly I mean listen

We wouldn't have this country You know if you travel back to 1760 Can you give Ben Franklin a smartphone You'd be like what happened You're like we lost that man to power gooning for the next 30 years. He gooned himself to death. We don't have a diplomacy or whatever.

He did discover lightning because he tied his dick to a string and flew it to a kite in the middle of a storm because he thought maybe it'd feel cool. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how he just got. I mean, he had to do that because he didn't have a phone. Yeah, that's, he had to recharge it.

It's deprived of phone. It's like the, like the, what would you do if you traveled back in time? You know, like, you know, to like, you know, to like Ben Franklin, probably. Odds are. Yeah. Yeah, same. Everybody's going to have their turn. I do it for America.

But like, it was like, what would happen if you travel back to a thousand AD? The one answer on social that's the best is, I'd listen to Chief Keefe on my phone until it died and then kill myself. You don't want to be there. That's bad. Phone at max volume. He's receiving a message. He's receiving from God.

He's divining. God is condemning our behalf. behavior because he said it's that shit he don't like god is talking about guns a lot a lot yeah what are those you know what are those when we find out it's very important are yeah that is um i'm not going to condemn brennan so let's be for that because there's a lot of things to condemn and a gambling addicted transfer a quarterback who's still going to go in the nfl supplemental draft is not real high on my list not at all there you go that's the news Look at that.

Actual. Like, dudes would rather gamble five dollars on Indiana to beat Michigan than go to therapy. Like, yes, that's, that's, that's all of them. It's everyone, everyone everywhere. That applies. Just so across the board. And, uh, yeah, that's the situation we're in.

So. Yeah. That and, uh, that and a Nashville Super Bowl. And that's May. That's May and June. We do have something else, though, which is we shout it out UCF for booing AI. U of A shouts out to you as well for booing Eric Schmidt. You have which A?

Arizona. The whole state. The whole state really gets a positive mention because New of A, as an institution, doesn't deserve any credit for inviting Eric Schmidt of Google. Because I don't know, what's a billionaire are going to tell these kids? Hey, you should have a billion dollars. You'd probably be doing a lot better if you did. But he mentioned AI in a speech.

And it was, Buh. Instant. Instant, everybody hates everything you're saying. He said something like, you know, but you're going to help to shape AI. And they're like, Buh, ho!

I'm going to shape it. Shape it with my ass. Yeah. Shape it with this rocket launch. your baby. Yeah, that's, they hated it. Yeah, a splat is a shape. Splat, yeah, ooh, that is a shape. Um, but yeah, he, he got booed, U of A. Great job. Meanwhile, just over to the west, uh, Arizona State invited Harrison Ford, who was fucking awesome. It was never heard of AI. Yeah, I do want somebody to ask Harrison. AI altitude indicator. Never heard of that either.

Harrison Ford. Like, hey, hey Harrison Ford. Can you tell us about. the Star Wars lore what the fuck is Star Wars right oh okay what are your thoughts on AI what the fuck is AI just yeah just listen what do you think about your motivations as Red Hulk I don't remember that that was the one exception the so one exception he was like that was an incredible experience like what the hell that's the modernity you simp for is playing Red Hulk has weed the likes of which we have never dreamed of In our dankest dreams.

But thinks playing Red Hulk was a great experience. How? How did you like that? I mean, Harrison Ford probably has like a cave full of 1982 flash frozen mids that like will fully destroy him somewhere that he got from a house in Laurel Canyon. He's probably got some of that like extreme 80s weed that he was like, nope, this has peaked at my exact strength. He's got some CIA shit. Yeah. He's got all the CIA cultivars.

That's why he's always landing planes in weird places because he's moving it for the CIA. And coming out alive because he's loose. Yeah, that's... How are you saying the way to survive any plane crash is just to be chill? It's just to go limp, yeah. Just go limp. I would have survived Tenerife. Why?

I'm limber. I'm loose. I didn't know that to get to me. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, exactly. Harrison Ford play Tony Hawks pro skater. in real life. It's like everyone who is,

who thinks like, oh, I might get in a car wreck. They're like, I will simply, you know, tuck and roll and like sort of doodooop over the car and land on my feet or whatever. My kid talks about this all the time that she thinks she can gymnastics her way out of a car wreck. And like, I'm like, I believe you, but don't try. But anyway, Harrison Ford has like the opposite method where it's, there's no, there's no gymnastics to it. Just sort of like, fuck you, crash. Yeah, he's just like, he's just beam NGing it across the screen, right? Just crash test dummy.

Yeah, like, I'm going to flop on the ground. I'll be fine. Yeah, it's like, listen, kid, what you need to do is go limp. Don't, don't let him get to you. Yeah. Them being the plane crash. Yeah. That pole walker guy was too uptight.

Oh. Not okay. I'm sorry. Oh my God. I'll apologize. Sorry enough. We said goodbye to him. We said goodbye to him.

God damn, dude. I guess Spencer's saying he's now in the mummy zone where he's okay. I'm leaving this in. No, you should. People should know what he's like. Yeah. He'll tell us all about it when he sees this. Dude!

When we open the tomb, he will tell us all about it. For legal reasons. since you should not take the advice of the shutdown, full-ass-in-a-life-for-de-dict-situation. I rebuke the shit out of this. So do I. Stop. Why are you laughing? It's terrible.

Oh. So, yeah. But yeah, go listen to Harrison Ford's speech. It's great. Harrison Ford's actually somebody you should invite to a graduation ceremony. It's got good things to say. What did he say? No, he's basically like, ah, yeah, it'd be cool to, you know, save 30% of the earth.

You should go ahead and conserve 30% of the earth. Just on principle. It's like you shouldn't do that. And he's basically like, yeah, technology is not really going to have any answers for you. It's not going to get us out of this fix. You know, you should be people. You should have a society. You should be kind.

All of these things where if you'd seen... Maybe you should listen to them. You know what? I'm going to go watch it again. As you can see, I didn't sink in quite enough. I desperately need this lesson. You need to be studying your Harrison Ford more. I need to be listening enough on my Harrison Ford.

Because I'm not picking it up. He's up there like. Spencer Hall, you need to stop being such an asshole. See, like you're cackling your head off right now, Spencer. But if I tell you that Vin Diesel walked Paul Walker's daughter down the aisle at her wedding, which really happened, you're going to cry like a bitch. Yeah. Yeah.

I think you mean like a man in touch with my feelings. No, I don't. Like a Michael Flutter. All of my words are perfect the moment they leave my memory. The moment they leave without error, infallible verbiage. Yeah, go watch it. It's just a wonderful sentiment. The entire state of Arizona really like showing out for the graduate showing out in like positive ways.

Also, consider Arizona state. Consider it. The kids are all right. The kids are all right. You're doing great kids. Not that any of you listen to the show. Some of you do. Some of you do.

Some of you do. Yeah. What's a podcast business? I was going to say. Let's get out of here. Podcast business. What's a business? Podcast business.

It's a business. Podcast business. I'm going to get through this before I have to burp. Hold on. Fought it. Fought it. We're doing phenomenal. Doing great.

Ryan, come home. Let's see here. First, let's talk about home field apparel. I'm wearing a, it's one of those things where I look down on the Zoom and notice, oh, I'm wearing a home field shirt. I'm wearing a University of North Florida Ospreys shirt. North Florida University, I don't know. North Florida Ospreys.

It's a bird playing golf, so your argument is invalid. It's from homefieldapparel.com, and it's time, once again, for our weekly segment where we go to homefieldapparel.com and just pull up something. We praise Arizona State a lot, but, Arizona itself? Arizona has the better home field collection. Have we per used in quite some time? We have.

We have. We have. They have the cool vapor wear a cactus logo, but I don't feel like we can bring it up enough. If we were like ranking collections of apparel on home field apparel, Arizona would be in my top three. Arizona State might be the one of whom I have the most pieces other than my, other than my alma mater, which is a silly thing to say. Of course, ASU is also my alma mater.

However, Arizona is also fantastic. The Zona Zoo shirt, of course, with all sorts of wild animals. I don't know why there's an elephant on the Arizona Wildcat shirt. I don't need to know. I don't know why there's a giraffe. I'm not asking anyone to explain it to me. I just like it. You got a wildcat on a basketball that is the earth.

Yeah, man, the vapor wave sunset is. set is it's like a top five home field shirt. Also the day of the dead cat. The It's important to note that dead does not modify cat

here. Yes. That is more, Day of the Dead cat is an Arizona state tradition. Day of the Dead Cat is an Arizona thing. Dead cat

fuck it rules, dude. Arizona hockey. I saw them open for nine inch nails. at the will turn in 91. Yeah, their heat, they're good. Yeah, this is also our reminder that Homefield, live from Speedway, Indiana

coming up on a big weekend here. What for? Well, that would be the world's greatest auto race, the Indianapolis 500. You could get the Homefield Indianapolis Motor Speedway collection. Listen, more 90s-inspired color paths and color waves, then you can shake a stick at some classic IMS logos.

I have one of these. They're great. There's a fantastic gasoline alley ringer tea that also would look fantastic. Yeah, just a, and I will notice the back home again in Indiana one has the Hoosiers on it. Just, you know, in case you want a little nice nexus of all things, 2026 and Triumphant and home field, you can get the Indiana fight song. IMST. Y'all take it easy on Carb Day.

You've got to make it the whole weekend. Pace yourselves. I also want a shout out at homefield apparel.com. This is 1972 Arizona State throwback shirt. Some sort of sun god within a flowery sun. Again, no one explained it to me. It looks great. Just an old guy in the sun is meant to convey Arizona State to me.

Homefield apparel. Just one of the many great. finds available at homefield apparel.com. Another website I'd like to tell you about is patreon.com, specifically patreon.com slash fullcast, the best page on that website where we post stuff, we post episodes, we've posted several this offseason.

Some of you came aboard for after dark during football season, I realize, but we've been doing a lot of minutes of content over there would be the best way to put it. Many minutes. with several long episodes, the last two combined to go well over five hours all total. They're both really good. One was about the history of amateurism from our point of view.

And the most recent one that went up a week ago was me rambling about the X-Men for three hours. And I got to say, the response to that one has been very enjoyable. So thank you to my co-host and to Serber for letting me do it. And thank you to everyone who said they liked it. which was a whole lot of you. And just went to respond to one FAQ that has been asked is about reading recommendations on X-Men stuff.

If you haven't finished all the way to the end of the episode, I did that at the very end of it. So that has already been handled for you. Just go ahead and finish. It's also on the shout-out. Patreon.com is $4 or more if you want us to have money instead of you. And yeah, there's many minutes of stuff there. and we'll be putting more minutes of stuff there.

Come and get your minutes. Yeah. Proud of it. It was really good. By the way, it's not rambling. If you are laser-focused for the better part of two and a half hours, that is not qualified as rambling. Jason Kirk put his whole ass into that.

Well, worth your time and money. We were just kind of along for the ride, which was great. I love rides. Additionally, I would recommend if you like reading and who doesn't, and if you like quality content, channel dash 6.ghost.io. I'm sorry, that would be channel s-i-x.news. or channel 6 news so we had to launch our site redesign early for some extremely stupid reasons yes it's different now it's the same website channel 6 dot news same website clean look very clean very pretty

channel 6 is the newsletter that holly and i produce uh we give you at least two things a week this is coming off of our latest which was a newsletter we don't usually write you know we we don't usually write We don't write meta meta where you're like, hey, like to write a newsletter about writing a newsletter. We try and can find this like once, maybe twice a year. Yeah. But we did that because there was a very stupid article that talked about how hard it is as a single creator to scale up. And I and Holly, we wrote a whole newsletter about how you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't even think that way.

You're not scalable. You're not a commodity. The thing you make might be a commodity. But you're not. And that will keep you from going insane. Ask us how we know. Mm-hmm. Hard experience, friends. Hard experience. Only learn things. Listen, we didn't, we didn't suffer so that you have to. Okay? We suffered so you could learn. Because the only way I ever learning thing is to bash my head directly into it and then tell you how hard it was. This, other insights, college football sports, and more. Channel.6.ghost.io.

I would like also to shout out a book I wrote. Hells World Without You. Listening back to this X-Men thing, I did a lot of voice work in this episode. I wasn't anticipating, totally doing any. I played a lot of characters in this thing. Really, if I could play 80s tomboy rogue, I might just adopt that as my usual voice. But I did a lot, for even more voice work by me. See the audiobook, Hells World Without You, produced by Michael Server. Do any of those characters sound like Rogue? Not quite. I do a great job, though. Lots of great job. Lots of great jobs all around, but that particular one is Patreon exclusive. And yeah.

And also a reader told me a while back that my characters sort of read like X-Men without superpowers just from the like messy found family perspective. So there. So like the influence has been pretty right there all along. Read the book produced by Michael Serber. Speaking of Michael Server and audio and audio products. I got that Hand in the Dirt That's a podcast I do

You can listen to that It's got Felter on it I'm not on this most recent episode I'll give the tease Because it's out now Felder was like absent He was like deboning chicken or something He just like didn't show up for 30 minutes in Hartzell

So Hartzell had to go like 30 minutes by himself To start this week's hand in the dirt So it's kind of like a Stephen Godfrey single wing type thing Feldr made it on And then within 20 minutes of making it on started sobbing uncontrollably in response to a voicemail. So this, you know, it's baseball season. Yeah, it's baseball season.

So we're thinking of like, you know, hitting streaks and things like that this time of year, right? Like, he's on like, I think, a 10-game hitting streak of crying during a hand in the dirt podcast. Was this one about bad boys too? No, it was a very touching story that a guy had. So like this one's a little more excusable. but that cold-hearted bastard Steven Hartzel cannot be affected by these things and he

and he pursued to Barry Felder for crying again anyways that shows good feelings belong on the inside thank you Hartzell yes thanks for listening to that because I know a bunch of y'all came over from this podcast and support us over there so I really

appreciate that um except for that one fucking Georgia fan except for you last dog stay out you piece of shit I have a band Last Arc Standing If you ever fucking review us I will find you

We're called Killer Ants with a Zee That was a threat I should probably cut that We have an album coming out next month We've got an album release show next month We're playing in Charlotte, North Carolina For the first time at the end of this month The Mewon Brew 10th birthday party

We're opening that It's like so we're going to be playing early When the sun's still out So come see that Then a few days later June 5th. We're playing at Monstercade with our buddies in Janus 414 and then 30 is dead. Who's a really cool punk rock band from here in Triad. And then, yeah, our album release show is going to be June 26th at Fair Witness Fancy Drinks.

Downtown Wissacetalm. We're playing with Orp Patrol and Darling Hiss. So come to one of those shows if you're around. If not, continue to stream the music. Thank you to everybody who's been listening to the music that we put out so far. As I know a bunch of you have supported me over at Hand in the Dirt, I know a lot of lot of you have also supported me and my music by listening to that and I really really appreciate that as well. So tell a friend if you can keep listening. If you think it sucks, you know,

keep that to yourself. Please. Yeah. Yeah. If you think it sucks, tell a friend and like they'll listen to it instead of you, you know, like you have to pass it along to me. Yeah, yeah, you have to have sex with someone and then they'll listen to it. Have sex with my music and then give it to someone else. have sex to Michael Serb the sound of Michael Serber's voice Again Server what's your best love making track Uh

Yeah we had got none of those I had to really think about it There's a new one They're also sad They're also sad You've got to be a kind of fucked up kind of person I think It'd be like where are we going to find those Among the audience of this show

Right in that case you tell me which one's my best way in folks sound off yeah try them all and sound off let's go have some weird sad sex to the music of michael server and killer hands smoke while you are doing so yeah before and after no no okay now and i think that that does it for podcast business blam bab bam bra bra braw bam braw um yesterday jason and i had a brief conversation which was oh god how do we actually discuss playoff expansion in a manner that doesn't make us you know immediately fall into a take vapor like standard take bro vapor lock where you go well that's too much it's done up more less I'm done I think like it um the spanned the playoff fucking with the postseason of college football is the latter part especially has basically been a thing non-stop for 30 years now and like it just feels so obligatory at this

point that every single off season there must be a talk about like make it bigger it's got to be bigger the only question is how much bigger that like most of the um original arguments against that are just sort of lost a time um and i think we've come back around to like entirely new arguments against that now that we've seen a little bit of how like medium-sized playoff played out which is like yeah pretty good like the 12th team was like okay hang on i think we i think we did something here you know like like four was stupid four was pointless four was like okay you just it's a bcs with like um a spreadsheet you know like it's a it's a bracket the fists on a post it Four was stupid.

Twelve is like, all right, all right. Hey, hey, hold it right there. Let's do this for like 20 years, see how we like it. 20, you mean three? You know? But, so anyway, now we're stampeding toward fucking 24 or whatever. And basically the battle lines are Fox wants 24, ESPN once 14 or fewer. And it's strictly for nothing but what's on the contract, ESPN gets full rights to a 14 team tournament.

Fox doesn't get to show any of it. And that's it. That's what it all comes. No more. know what's best for the game, know anything beyond money, money, Big Ten doing what Fox tells it, SEC doing what ESPN tells it,

money, money, money, that's it. But anyway, I think where it comes around to is like it fits into a broader societal thing that Holly was just referring to the sense that line must forever go up, line must go up, up, line go. Why? Because line must go up.

Do we want, do we, will it make anything better for anyone except the people who in charge of line? No, not at all. Didn't even think about it. Line go up though. Um, so like it's just more playoff slop in service of line go up. And it'll continue forever. Like as basketball shows, it's it's basketball might have hit the the actual physical limit of number of games that can cram it to its postseason with 76. Like they've filled the first four, the Dayton round. They've now crammed it so full of like Auburn Mizzou slop that like there is almost literally no more time for more opening round games. So like that is the eventual outcome of the football tournament is when there literally is no more room for games, which you kind of might argue we're already at because college football fucking ends on January the 7,000th now.

But yeah, line go up, slop is sort of, Spencer, I think, where we ended on as our grand theory of why get bigger. Just slot maxing, yeah. We're just slot maxing. Just throwing more grist into the middle. I appreciate the honesty of Fox. I'm not saying it's not evil, but I know what they're doing because they want a 24 team playoff that they can make money off of. That is more. That's it.

Fox is just completely the way it's it's so odd to have this partnership with the Big Ten because they are such polar opposites the Big the Big Ten will be the one that still still in the year 2026 will say things like we're concerned about how this impacts

the academic year we're worried about this we're worried about the experience for our student athletes fucking nerds you're lying ass nerds Yeah, lion-ass nerds, because you don't care about that. And they're partnered with the most sell people for food network, right?

Like, they are partnered with the most Soylent Green. Well, both of them now, because they also got CBS, yeah. Yeah, and they also got CBS. So, but like they are partnered. I'm like the virtuous SEC, which cut ties with CBS. That's right. We can no longer deal with these gentlemen. We must, we must throw a lot in with the.

respectable James Potaro of Bristol, Connecticut. No, I mean, like Fox is the one that's basically like, yeah, can we execute people at halftime? Can we stage? Can cleat us? Can cleat us? Yeah, can cleat us? Yeah. Can we have somebody fight a football robot to the death at half time? Because Fox would do it. Fox is that's always who they've been. That is 100% who they are going to be. They just want more. And they want to broadcast more games that are. shot weirdly so that you never ever see the crowd.

Love that about Fox College football broadcasts, right? And more Gus Johnson. They really will work Gus Johnson into a grave. That part's fine. Well, not the grave part, but the more, the more Gus part. Make him a mummy. Mummified Gus shoot. Ha!

Wow! You found me! They don't call it a sarcophie. Gus for nothing. Wow! In between Gus, the distance from Gus Johnson to greet Goblin can shorter with every show. Just tinier.

I never took the mask off. But like we're going to end up with a playoff that has very much like a MSNBC Fox News vibe to it. We're like Fox is going to be covering half the bracket. ESPN's going to be covering the other half of the bracket. You're going to have two completely different realities in which you're living as far as what is going on in this tournament. Like you're going to have Herb Street, you know, and Clash.

whichever universe you'd rather live in, the clatt verse or the Herb Street verse, you can simply dial it up and live there. What a fucking dire choice that is. Put me in the clatt verse where every Big Ten team is doing it the right way and whatever. Or the Herb Street verse where every up street SEC team is just too tough. You know, and like which shades of glasses would you rather wear? You get it. And then maybe like the title game, they have to be in it. Glasses are for girls.

Trick question. They have to be in the... Gus where it's glasses. I don't know. Because he's smart. Sly like a mummy. For the title game, let's have just Clatton Herb Street,

and they can just, like, debate what's happening on the field. Opening up that sarcophagus, he pops up and goes, I'm calling you a good boy, because you found mummy. Kirk Herb Street's like, oh, the mummies were buried with their pets

because nobody liked the pharaohs either. That is true. He's using a really old trick, isn't he? Like, get himself over with a dog. And then, like, the dog is, it goes to the ancestors. If Kirk believed in ancient Egypt, we might really have something here. This man is going to be buried with, like, seven golden retrievers, just so anyone visits him. Every A&M grad is like, you know what?

Change the breed of the dog. That's a fine idea. That's different. That's good. You bury me. You know what? It's an honor. Barry me with Rev.

I will be her, I will be her, in one of her clubs. soldiers guarding Ms. Riv's tomb. Put the white pants on the statue. The tomb of Ms. Reve, of course, is not where her body lays. It is merely the shrine to where she ascended, to be clear. She is not here. She is no longer here. Why do you look for the dog among the dead? Just a thousand clay shoulder soldiers and fishing shirts and owlsies. They're all doing their weird little poses. Grabbing their nuts and what have you. You've got the. You've got the. You've got the the tomb architecture built so that when the wind blows through it at just the right way you just hear who what is a haunting if not a midnight yell whoa jason you're on some kind of portal shit today i play as the aggies in our uh e a sports league so i've been very attuned you've had a lot of time to think about you're on the aggie frequency we got a white running back right now we're selling so many jerseys man we're selling so many jerseys as this kid he just plays the right way he plays a good kid he's a really good

He just loves the game. Just loves the game. Every time I play, like, somebody in our chat is like, damn, you got a lot of white boys. And I'm like, yeah, man, trying to sell jerseys. Trying to sell jerseys to these Aggies. I like that you've become so Aggie that you're just working them from the inside. Business.

Just hearing them make money. I can't count on her moves being whatever, forever, man. He's a scarab in the tomb. Scuttle, scuttle. You hear that, you're like, oh, got down. Be an honor to be haunted by Mummy Gus Johnson. Ghost Johnson.

When they put the mic in the pharaoh's throat or whatever, it comes out of his Gus noises. Yeah, not the guy from death grips instead. It's him going, Oh my God! Okay, hear me, listen to this and tell me you don't hear like a tomb slamming shut at the end. Yeah, yeah, the signs were clear.

Yeah, that's the noise it made all along, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm glad we cleared this up. Yeah, I don't, I enjoyed this. I enjoy every time I hear the inevitability of something stated, like, well, you know, the playoffs going there. It's just happened. It's happening.

It's just doing, yeah, yeah. It's the kind of reason you wouldn't fall for. Big playoff is the future. Yeah, yeah, you know, like, hey, the rocket ship get on board get on board all you can do is shape it yeah all you can do is help guide it that's yeah it's a missile it's incoming you need to tell it where to land big playoff is like every sci-fi thing becoming real just because a sci-fi person thought of it and then a business guy is like okay let's just do it yeah this is this is by the way like you would

never fall for this reasoning in your personal life because it would be like you know you could bitch about this or you could be cool. Like, I know you, I know you don't want sushi tonight, but it's inevitable. So all you can do is help to mold the future of me eating what I want to eat and not what you want to eat. Yeah. It's a dog who's like, I'm going to sit here. No, I'm sitting in your lap.

This is happening. That's where I'm going. Yeah, you just go with it. It's like, yeah, it is very much like when a cat looks at you from across the room and you're like, oh, the cat is feeling possessive today, so I will be sat on. Yeah, here comes. Absolutely not. And the cat's like, but maybe. Yeah.

Well, you don't really get a vote here, do you? Yeah. The cats worshipped as gods by the ancient Egyptians. Yeah. And also, unlike the cat, everybody or any of these other situations, everyone will be fine if they get a cut. That's it. Everyone will be fine if they get a cut. And we continue to cut up. This is what I don't want to happen. I don't want. And this is strictly an old man complaint. I don't want to do what I've had to do with the NBA playoffs,

which is, oh, I'd like to watch that game right now. You know, turns on YouTube TV. Ah, it's not on YouTube TV. Okay. That too, yeah. Yeah, maybe surely. Baseball fans howling right now. I know, I know.

Like, I'm relatively. I'm sorry, there's no such thing as baseball fans. I don't want to alarm anyone. I just, that sense of like nine different networks have this. and one of those fucking Peacock. Now I have to switch from some app to some other app. Yeah, which I still have to do. Just don't add an app and then add an app.

Because ultimately that's what's going to happen is, you know, I will have to go to Peacock to watch a Notre Dame game, and then I will have to go to Prime to watch the one first round playoff game that they've managed to test and see how it does, and then I'm going to have to go to. And it just, it makes for a, an even more distracted viewing experience than the shattered one I already enjoy. Yeah.

I'm not saying, oh, for the days when they were all on one channel. Never true in the first place. Additionally, that sucked because that meant that were only three games. But for a big, like for a large concern like the college football playoff, I would hope that it would mostly be in one or two places, as opposed to what I fear which is that it's going to be carved up between, you know, four or five different places. Including some app. Including some app.

Some fucking app. Yeah. Including like some, it's going to go to somebody who I very only do not like, right? It's going to be like, oh yeah, great. I have to go to Amazon for that delightful. I can watch the equivalent of Thursday night football, right? Whatever, whatever that playoff game is going to be. And I'll have to go to Amazon.

on to watch it, right? Yeah. The main thing, like, if it was like, okay, we're going to do an FCS, D2, D3 style 2014 playoff, which means every conference's champ is in, then I would say, oh, okay, sure, huge playoff. Fuck it, 32, bring it on. You know, like, if it was a legitimate thing, like, literally every other college sport and, like, every pro sport where, you know, every team has a. shot win your group and you get to participate and then we're spreading some wealth and some

attention throughout the thing and making it feel like a big a more coherent cohesive thing wonderful but in doing and and this is kind of a new um wrinkle here because when it was four it was like well those teams are very rarely close enough uh anyway when it was 12 it's like okay they get a guaranteed spot and that's that's fine that's fine but 24 then we're talking about one spot for half of fbs and then like most of the rest is Big Ten in SEC and again that's just Auburn Mizzou Slop which I say that

not to ignore Minnesota Michigan State Slop you're included in that as well you're all Yeah no no we're going to let them listen we're going to let them have this just because the SEC's been so bad in the recent postseason let him have this Like okay okay yeah sure I mean yeah like granted there will

We must hit our tag a quota There would be a lot of You know USC Maryland slop in here. If Maryland makes the 2014. The ACC team doing in there. They would have done it at some point. At some point in there.

Who's this one team lobbying for a, for an October, for a September playoff game? For an NBA Cup. Yeah, Maryland's like, Maryland's going to win the NBA Cup of college football every year. Let's just declare it. Listen, if there's an automatic qualifier out of September.

Yeah. Marilyn, you've won the NBA Cup. I think I tallied it. It's like four times in the Pleasure to having class trophy. In the past 20 years. Maryland answers questions with enthusiasm, if not always with accuracy. I mean, for like the first 10 minutes of class and then they fall asleep.

Yeah. Enthusiasm is tiring. Maryland stayed up too late last night, ate a lot of carbs for breakfast. Maryland has some big feelings to work through. They do. It's true. But yeah, I don't, it doesn't really, to me, the inevitability is dumb, like, as much as anything.

Like, oh, yeah, it's got to be this way. No, it doesn't. We've tried every stupid idea. It's going to be that way because money wants it to be. But don't tell me, yeah, it's coming. Yeah, it's coming. No, don't do that. It's possible, but don't tell me it's coming.

I got to deal with it. I'm going to deal with it. I'm going to watch it. Tell me, I have to deal with it, and I have to accept it like it's like, like the Mongol horde, right? Yeah, they're coming. You have to accept that. Like, it's like a weather event.

Like, there was nothing we could have done about it, so you might as well enjoy it. And, like, yeah, I will enjoy a lot of it because, like, you know, I'm going to watch this shit. Like, no one is disputing. No one is disputing. It'll be watched, you know. But, like, I think anytime anything new happens in this sport, there is, you know, everyone hates it. Everyone hates change, right? And usually what we're talking about is just that, not liking change.

And within five years, everyone's used to it and it's fine and whatever. And it turns out we were all freaking about nothing all along. This is pretty different, though. Like this, I think, this is pretty different in the sense that, like, it just completely changes all of November. Like, that's really what matters most is the month of November in college football. And this is, you know, adding in a whole lot of, like, you're already in type stuff. of that and if your like this sport is ultimately is originally about rivalries and regionality which is the thing we've been saying for 20 years but like the more

and more that gets sacrificed for line go up the more we do lose something and we don't have to we don't have to lose that no we got to do it's the worst part of the passive voice to this for me they're like you know the the the the that the Well, you know, the well this is inevitable and there's no point in fighting it. It's, you know, it's trying to cut off any possibility of discussion, let alone argument of what should be happening. But also it's serving intentionally in some cases. If you look at who's reporting this is inevitable and where their sources come from, because some of them are too lazy to even change up their verbiage from from where their sources come from. it's also serving

you know with members of the media abetting this as an active shield for the people making this happen at the request and behalf of absolutely no one but themselves to the benefit of no one but themselves. It's not me. It's not me. I'm not doing this.

It wasn't me either. No. I mean, Ross doesn't listen to this show. I can just say it's him. Anyone else who takes dictation, yeah. Yeah. Don't don't tell me something's inevitable explain to me who's doing it that's what i need to know i need to know the player here in question right uh don't just don't just talk about it like it's the weather or like you know hey they're doing a thing who's they who's they they've done it again you know people people

you know the experts the scientists the scientists have decided don't do that i need names for who and for what just tell me for who and for what that's That's what I want to know in any case is for who and for what. This is, listen, when my get real problems party forms a coalition with they stop playing in our faces party, this kind of shit will be outlawed. Yeah. Tell me the real shit. Because we know for who and for what.

And I think that's what Eurates me most of all. I think that's worse than the thing I just said. The fact that everybody acting like. this is indeed a weather event. This is, this is tectonic, you know, is doing a pantomime and is insisting that we all persist in, that we all pretend along with them. It's annoying. Yeah, because we don't have to do it this way. It doesn't.

Now, I will say this. For anybody who's, for anybody who's followed the FCS playoff, it's quite entertaining. excuse me this the fcs i know i know this is still a sport of local rivalries and this is still a sport that i think does best when it is regional and the strongest when it is regional and that is the source of the strength right when people say oh why is the sport different you go well all right it actually is it's not just a lie i mean we're talking about a sport that the maps were drawn before railroads the maps were drawn before airplanes like and you play the team you hate the most once which makes it completely different than even

college basketball or any other college sport or definitely any pro sport the team you hate the most you play them once and that's it it should define how you feel about things even if you go on to win the national title because of abominations of modernity but like if we ever get to a point where someone is sincerely feeling like eh yeah we lost to the team we're supposed to hate most, but we're in the playoff, then we have fucked up. And I think we're going to get that. We'll get a little bit of that. Like, that's going to happen. Yeah, I mean, it's the kind of thing where, like, people won't want to admit it's happened. They won't want to admit they feel that, but people are going to be put in the position to feel that.

I did see the funniest hypothetical, which is, you know, hey, do you think Michigan and Ohio State would arrest starters? Oh, my God. that's funny no matter who does it that would be yeah it would be you know the only way it would be funny is if it was not a good way but it's funny if it would be insulting to the other if it was like if ohio state or michigan were so bad going into the game that they're like yeah just you know start the second string be fine to be clear it'd be funny if they did that for any reason it'd be funny if they did that in an off if they made like shirts of the second string too like student section shirts yeah they did a hype video of them

Yeah. Walk on kicker. Stunting on you in the fourth quarter in garbage time. Yeah. But having said that, the FCS tournament's pretty entertaining. I'm not, there's going to be advantages to this. There will be some things that will be cool. That is the tradeoff. You know, I, I happen to love the notion of if we get 24, don't play them in a neutral. Don't play them in a neutral. I know it's not what y'all are going to do. You're going to fuck it up. and you're going to put them in like NFL stadiums and then that's going to suck. See, this is the shit they ought to be legislating that it happens on campuses. That'd be great. Now that we're done with the score act, by the way, we're done with the score act, folks, did you know? Who could possibly have foreseen? Are you saying that a legislative solution was not the way to go here?

Yeah. And that we shouldn't have pretended. Again, being asked to pretend that that was a real thing. Yeah. Always look at the sponsors of a bill. Being asked by power brokers, by leaders in the sport, by leaders in government, and by people in our own industry. Yeah. Saying, hey, you should pay attention to this because, you know, could be a real something.

Cut it out. You suck. Getting rug pulled again by people who, by definition. The best fucking dweaves. will never fix anything. They ain't fixing it so you're going to have to. That's how that works. Welcome to the only anarchist college football podcast.

You're going to have to do it because help ain't coming.