Shutdown Fullcast - Taco Bell Will Help You Murder The Concept of Morning

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

The crew discusses UConn-Vanderbilt, one of the most attendable* games of this season before moving on to the important stuff: a meticulous and painstaking guide to regional fast food ordering, which winds up angering our beloved producer more than anything else we've ever said on this show. *Unless you're a 12-foot skeleton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Full cast. Look at that technique. Holding the mic away and everything. Hold the mic out so it'll blow it out. Like, that's a 7 out of 10. Server shaking his head. The mic can handle it. It's fine.

Don't do that. Oh, yeah. Tuffing the mic up a little bit. Are I going easy on the mic? Welcome. I have headphones on. So do the listeners. So do the listeners.

The mic can take it. The sound. I know. I'm going to get stabbed. Welcome to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall, the man yelling into the microphone that can totally hold it and setting the pit off. Get in the pit. It's time.

Joining me, as always, is co-host Jason Kirk. Jason, how are we doing today? I'm doing fine. I'm told fellow co-host Ryan Nanny plans to derail things immediately. He does. And that's a fellow co-host, Holly Anderson, does not do the same. I'm not putting my fucking headset back on until I get some assurances. Oh, there will be no more close yelling into the microphone on my part.

Until when? All right. Forever. Mark it at 441 Eastern that promise was made. Yes. It's not a question of when he's going to fuck this up. It's just how badly and who's going to get injured. The answer is me.

Nobody's derailed this yet, so I was going to. focus on the task at hand which is we have a podcast project slash field trip oh wait is this where i can it's gone from the terrifyingly hypothetical to the all too frighteningly real no i don't want to talk about that yet i know something's wrong with you because of where you're talking about going yeah we don't want to get there yet i have i have a we'll go fine go ahead no no no you can go ahead go ahead go ahead like a man driving from memphis in Nashville. We don't have to get there yet.

Go ahead. So, I don't know who suggested it first, but Ryan. Was it Ryan who suggested it first? Is it his fault? Not yet. I wouldn't say it's my fault.

I didn't schedule the game. I'm not like, I don't work for Vanderbilt athletics. Again, I don't know that. Vanderbilt doesn't have an athletic department. You could hold some sort of like conciliary position there. And we wouldn't know about it.

It's a private university. You wouldn't show up on any payrolls. You could be a plant, secretly trying to elevate Vanderbilt's brand profile. You're also the upper middle class child of a doctor. You're already in there, yeah. Do you play golf, Ryan? You think, no, I don't. You think my plan is to...

He's a Vanderbilt man. He pays people to play golf for him. Is to boost the profile of Vanderbilt football, and I'm doing it on this show? No, I think Godfrey did that. Okay. Yeah. That's for split zone duo. We're here to elevate Arkansas football.

The official podcast of Vanderbilt football. Let's just go ahead and check. When does Arkansas play Vandy? Not soon enough. The culture clash I've been waiting for for years. Arkansas versus Vanderbilt. But you have suggested that we attend Yukon at Vandy 7.30 p.m.

October. second. Why don't I want to party with a whole bunch of people who's only thing they have in common is they couldn't get into Cornell? They made this a night game. They didn't have to. They didn't have to. Nobody, there's no, there's no reason for it. They just did. I don't know. Oh, Tennessee, Florida's a night game. So maybe something's wrong. Look, with the night games. I can I can understand how maybe somebody woke up from a coma and was like, absolutely, we're making Tennessee Florida night game in what in what alternative timeline do you see Yukon at vandy and say hell yeah put it up there put it up there when the moon is

high well it's big okay it's because they want TV exposure so sure the time slot that was available yep because you want people what else is on at that exact same time like on a television broadly no do we have do we have do we have what are we just sticking there so because it's a pretty loaded week i don't think we know all the times yet but this is really going to confuse people because now we're talking about that's even more confusing because they're like oh we got to lock that night slot down right away yeah this is not this is not the schedule upcoming the week ahead of this is not the saturday before after we're recording this is the saturday after that one what if we did this all season long record two weeks from now every single

time. We're going to double preview games. So that night you have Indiana at Penn State, Northwestern at Nebraska, aka non. That's a night game? Wait, that's a night game too? It sounds like the Twitter Spaces show is going live at like 5 p.m. this Saturday. It's going live at 5. We're going to have the show done by 7.30. No, there is, there is a, there's a game in here that is going to prevent that from being the case. But go. Auburn at LSU. Yes. There's several big games that day. But yeah. Yeah, there are quality games. And then there's also

Vanderbilt against Yukon in Nashville. Yep. Are the cops there on like a quota and they're going to just arrest the entire stadium for loitering? Or the defenses. Huh?

Huh? Now, loitering means like standing in the way. These defenses are yeah. But it also implies that you're not in motion. I'm just hanging out

having a good time This is good We've created a good like log exam question Using Vanderbilt at Yukon Hey business model We're making test books What is loitering Example

Yukon at Vanderfield Can we drive Some transpotainment onto the field during this game And will anyone notice Can we take a pedal tavern Can we steal Papa John's car In the next two weeks

He's real protective of it now He's like John Wick with that thing. I'm not going to shoot it. Why are you making promises you won't keep, Holly? I shot my way from outs, from the inside out of John Wick's dog. It's true. Punched my way out. He ate me first.

The weirdest, the weirdest variation on that is actually shooting Papa John's car after you kidnap it. And they just like, what do you do? They shot my car. And then putting a hole in it. Here's my question. Let's say, let's say, Spencer, I convince you to come to Yukon Vanderbilt.

How long are you staying at this game? I mean, if I'm there and I'm comfy and it's a nice night, you know, temperatures are falling. It's October. Chances are it'll probably be in the high 50s, low 60s in Nashville if it's a real nice night.

Yeah. I got nothing else to do. I got my phone. Phone charge up. Reception's going to be great because there's only 2,000 people in stands. You're approaching this like a European backpacker who's like, got to sleep somewhere. I got to relax.

What else am I? What else is there to do in Nashville? I'm not going to go puke up 12 shots on lower broad, right? Yeah. I'm not, you know, it's not, I'm not a bride to be. I am not interested in going to yet. What if we had a bachelorette party in Godfrey's front lawn? Yeah, before your looks go.

I really should. It's times, times of wasting. If we did that in Godfrey's front yard, that would be beautiful. Like, what if we parked in Petitle Tavern? Annabeth would make it work. Yeah. And the best thing is, we can plot this in peace because Godfrey won't listen to the show. What if Godfrey wakes up that Saturday at 10 in the morning and there was a pedal tavern

parked in front of his house and he's like, oh, geez, Nashville. But he just goes about it today. He looks out there at 10.30, Pedal Tavern's still there. And we just stay there until kickoff. Okay. Hey, you guys remember what my dad did when my mom turned 50, now that she ever turned 50? When you took out the newspaper ad saying, like, you know,

come by and honk and say happy birthday? Yeah. What if we invited all bachelorets to come say hi to Godfrey on their special day? God. It's nightmareish. I... Yeah, but maybe one of them might take one of the kids.

Let's do it. I mean, we have numerous challenges we can do during this game. For instance, this week, it was an... that no coaches were going to be retained at Yukon and that they were going to the interim yeah I think that includes everyone yeah like no one's coming back like does you kind of understand that recruiting is a thing how like we're not like they're not going to recruit anybody now right oh no they're getting six months severance oh no you can't be the worst team the floor the floor will fall out heaven

oh man they'll be down 42 nothing to army in the first quarter that's crazy you're right it is sort of looking at the end of Jurassic Park and being like oh man we're out of toilet paper oh dang i lost some good stakes left him in a cooler on that beach jimmy buffett looking up from his meal at margaritaville being like they didn't comp me those kids didn't pay for that ice cream oh darn it well yeah this is this is we could i my suggestion is that we with some cajoling could probably end up calling plays for Yukon sometime in the third quarter. What is the largest or I guess

most complex board game we could bring into Yukon Vanderbilt and play? Access and allies. Carcassan. Okay. Carcassan's a good suggestion. You think we get Catan in there? I think if we get Catan,

we're going to get dog piled by all the students at the game. That's not, yeah. There should be like nine students at the game. We're going to get bummer. Yeah, but they're all going to want to play fucking Catan. Yeah, it's not a big board. So, I mean, we can definitely bring it in, right? I think we're bringing expansions and shit.

Welcome. We got the pirate expansion. I can bring that. Welcome to the Catan tournament with a side helping of Yukon Vanderbilt football. Vanderbilt thinking that football is played on a hexagonal field, but actually explains him. It's second down. Trade lumber.

Trade the wood. Yukon's got that. I'll trade you one stone. Offense. Do you have anything else? No. That's all I have. To be fair, when you look at the arc of Vanderbilt, that is a long-ass road.

It's also the road from Yukon campus to their football stadiums like 25 miles. You've got the longest road. Yeah. The longest road. And what makes a road longer? Traveling it by Petal Tavern. That's right. All Yukon does is roll up.

And they're like, we have nutmeg. That's not even a resource in this. game. I'll trade you one coffee. I'll trade you one fragrant baked item for 40 stone. Who says no? You know,

most pumpkin spice things are most shut up. Shut up. I really if it's Yukon and Vandy, every roll is a seven. Oh no, it's the robber again. The robber again. Oh, no. Every tile is desert. Also, watch

watch this game be an absolutely fucking banger somehow. Just the most unintentional bangor. Game of the year. I don't know. I don't know. There's no. I don't know. It doesn't mean it can't happen. Like the last four plays are all just kick returns

being like traded back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Are they both tanking? Yeah. You can just let them have it. Yeah. It'll improve our draft position next year. Oh, Yukon thinks they're going to get draft picks out of this.

Okay. yeah they're going to get drafted into the patriot league yeah i was going to say all of those coaches are like yeah buddy i'm making a couple of draft picks during this game little miller light straight from the stands i got i already got my buy out might as well relax while i'm calling this stressful game it's over the dream of success in stores so um there is a thing that um a frequent topic of this show over the years has been fast food establishments and a thing that we have encountered online is that as people travel around the country and encounter places they've never been before they like to ask us for

recommendations to these things uh because we're you know we're uh dietary experts road warriors and uh just just for sort of an FAQ just to sort of uh established once and for all the uh the canon answers on these things we've decided to uh poll some readers and collect just a list of go-toes you can try. So you can just store this in your brain for the time when it is needed. And just call this information up. So I wanted to run through a few real quick. The one we get asked about most often is probably Popeyes,

where I think the simplest answer is just order a lot, and you'll get whatever you get, right? Whatever you get is what the universe has provided you. Yeah, Spencer laid down this catechism in 2017. Yeah, it's just the same. started negotiations and intent is kind of irrelevant can I ask a follow-up is there anything and you all know the Popeye's menu better than I do I suspect because I don't know it's super well you think you're better than us no I actually think I'm worse is what I'm saying is there anything you just

should not order from Popeyes is is there a like just stay away I hate the I hate the coleslaw most of the sides are really mediocre and they've gotten rid of like the two the good sides in my opinion were the dirty rice and the green beans and they got rid of both of those this year i will tell you this that just get fries i don't think the red beans and rice is bad it's but it contains so much sodium yeah it's below replacement level for me and the chicken at the same time you may suffer a physiologically destabilizing event i think it's probably best to just choose one or the other i think you just turn into a saltwater fish at that point i found the green beans and the cage and rice to both be quite good and neither of those is on offer anymore but like I'm giving something

away down the line I'm sorry about that but I will double up on coleslaw at cookout because I think their takeout cookout is better than a lot of real people's coleslaw than I could name but the coleslaw at uh colesot poppies is more vinegory and there's like a sourness to it that I just that goes beyond tang for me that I just really don't love yeah but again like you got to watch those sides they can they can catch up with you and deer will be chasing you across the and it's not worth it is the thing yeah the red beans or rice mushy the fries yeah warm and limp just get a shitload of chicken and then accept however much you get that's that's the pop-ice rule you know what I appreciate about Popeyes broadly speaking no salads like most

most fast food places are like all right we will have a salad because that's a thing we have to do. Popeye's is like, no, we're not even going to pretend. We're not going to make you feel bad by having it here so that you don't pick it. We're just going to eliminate the bad feeling because it's not even in your, you know, it wasn't your fault. You had to get chicken. Lettuce will never cross the threshold of this kitchen.

We vow to you. The light option at Popeyes is fried shrimp. That's, that's the light option. Or chicken nuggets, right? They're like, oh, no, we got chicken nuggets. Those are low fat. Sure. Sure.

Because you don't eat the bones, but everything else you eat the bones. What? What if you just went up to Popeye's and said that? You'd be like, hey, man, can you give me the bones? That can happen. I guarantee you. Just give me the fried bones. I asked for the bones.

They gave me an entire set of human ruins in Space. That's Dale. take care of him. Holly, you mentioned in and out. Let's go to In and Out next. In-N-Out fight. I don't care to fight about it. I just, I didn't like it was all.

I'm not one of the East Coasters who go in like, everything in California sucks and all that shit. It's just like I went and it was like, okay, it's cool if they like it. This is, there's a unit. I think it's, I think we can. You have to separate. Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to say this.

I'm not interested in litigating the in-and-out fight. I think that people should like what they like, and that is fine. I think, for example, that people who prefer fat burger are insane because fat burger burgers are indistinguishable from Sonic. It's the exact same style. However, the key to happiness in Southern California is a supper jump. Spencer, I have dragged you experience this multiple times. You can vouch for this.

There's only a couple places where you can pull this off with ease without letting one get cold, but you have to get your burger at in and out and then go get fat burger fries. this is happiness that is all I have spoken if you like it that's great if you don't

that's great no one should like the fries in and out but I can't make you stop making bad choices you can get a real weird meal if you reverse that

and go to fat burger for the hamburger in and out for the fries and magic like yeah like a sonic burger and just like mealy uncooked fries you're like

what is food yes I'm reliving school lunch this is awesome but it is the opposite is is quite good Good. We've done in and out there. Now we're on to cookout. I just wanted to make sure that

the supper jump key to happiness was worked into the conversation. It should be universally acknowledged that it announced fries or ass. They're bad. It's not. And people say, oh, you get them well done? No, they're still well done. When they're when they're well done, they're just crispy and mealy. When you say acknowledged, I have never heard anyone say the fries are good. I have heard people say the fries are fine or can be fine. Nobody has, I think this is the strawiest straw man that ever did straw. I think people just want to. Also, the longer

we talk about this, the more it stresses me out. So let's just go to cookout where everything is good. In and out is fine. On to cookout. There are so many options, right? There is no one size fits all at cookout. I don't think. Like, everyone is going to have,

they're going to find their own thing. It would be interesting, honestly, if we were to like rank every single category of item there if we'd even have a composite i'm not sure that is an april activity where that's our bracket this year that take a lot of spreadsheets and math the um can i ask jason how many how many items on the cookout menu have you eaten like if i went through him rapid fire how many do you think you're hit in half let's let's take the shakes off the board because i don't think if you put all three of us in the pool and you go down one by one we've covered it all i don't know i'm i'd be surprised

if there are things I haven't. Really? Like, okay, here, I'm just pulling one out. Bacon cheddar dog. You had that? Pretty sure, yeah, yeah. Okay. I've definitely had that.

Yeah, I've never had it. Cheesecake. I don't know. Spencer has a thing about cookout cheesecake. Listen, nothing, it makes you feel like, you know, when cats and cartoons are eating, like, fish skeletons, and they put on out of garbage cans, and they put on a little, like, top hat

that has the top popped out, right? You're describing Heathcloth, but yes. Right, yeah. The last time we got cookout cheesecake, I was driving, and you looked over at me, and I, it was, I don't know what the situation was. We were fucking exhausted, but you looked over me, and you were like,

you were almost crying, and you're like, I'm an aristocrat. Yeah, when you get, but, yeah, like, and Tom does this, and Tom and Jerry, when they're dining out of a garbage can, but they're still wearing, like, a bow tie made out of a banana peel, right like ho ho that's what i feel like when i get the cheesecake at cook out okay jason had a whole thing

that he was starting to ramp up to that got derailed no i i would just say like i think the main um the main piece of advice for me would be cassidy as a side leave so much room for whatever your other side is i would say fries because by volume case ds put cassidie dis puts fries you're getting a lot of poundage in there um the other thing is their large drinks cost the same as regular drinks so like you can it's already cheap and there are ways to get even more bang for your buck bang as in the things that happen within your tummy after you've eaten um i don't think i've ever noticed this before because i don't think i've gotten it according to the online menu at cookout there are two sizes of fresh-brewd tea there's large yep and there's huge

that's right what other sizes do you need of tea you're right uh BLT have you had that yep yeah interesting yes yeah uh yeah yeah yeah the main thing i don't want on here honestly desani oh trash bottled water i'm not here for that having opinions on water seems weird i don't think it tastes like dissoni doesn't taste good all other bottled water is mine and disani tastes weird doesani tastes like being stuck on an airplane on the tarmac that's what it taste like. This makes me feel like I have five taste buds, which might be the case. I might actually only have five taste buds because I'm like, I'm like water in a puddle

on the ground, taste fine. Spencer, when you go, when you, like, if you go from Georgia to Florida, are you like, oh, oh God, the water here is bad or are you like that I do notice. No, that I do notice, right? You also notice when you shower and nothing ever gets clean ever. I'm dirtier. I am slippery now. You're like, why am I bathing a dragon spit?

This is weird. I shouldn't shower. Take me back to where everything's clean in Georgia. He's some idiot from Long Island's like, oh, it's paradise beach time, baby. That's why Florida can make the, that's why actually why so many New Yorkers come down to Florida for snowboard purposes, because the nasty water allows bagel replication.

That's right. Oh, man, that makes me sound anti-Semitic, when really I just mean the water's nasty. Bagels are good. Florida bagel. Florida bagel is a disgusting combination of words. I know. Florida bagel sounds like a euphemism. I apologize to the tribe of Israel, but not to the state of Florida.

A Florida bagel is when you get two spider bites next to each other and they both puff up. It's a bagel with the fried gator in it. Okay. One other cookout trick that I feel we could easily pull is you can have like four people in the car and everyone can order an enormous meal and no two items will be the same. Yeah, you can also.

Yeah, I mean, somebody out there who can do the math, please run, how many permutations of cookout are there? Of cookout tray. Some nerd has done this. Yeah, it's Bill. It's definitely Bill. It's got to be bills. But knacks in pain plus.

What is the most chaotic cookout tray you can construct? Permutations of cookout. I feel like it's one in the same with the best idea. I'm just like a layer in a case of Dia and pile the fries as high as she can. I'm going to call it. So I guess you have to back up from here and say like what are your goals when entering the cookout, right? Sure. I just want, yeah, I just want to challenge my body.

How about that? yeah the biggest the biggest challenge for me the biggest challenge like if I were going to go okay one tray one tray yeah okay so no add-ons but if I was going to do one tray that was going to challenge the mind and spirit that was going to take you two thirds of the way up on Everest and say either hit the summit or die son yeah no oxygen yeah I would do this I would go start with two corn dogs okay chaos rains two corn dogs good good start get the mind railing a little my yeah then i would throw the white cheddar bites on top of it because the saturn listen white cheddar bites are elite yeah they're elite but they are going to take that might be the best food item they sell but they're going to fill you up at this point you're going to be you're going to go oh man i'm so full what do i not want to see again that's right corn dog number three so corn dog white cheddar bites then bam another corn dog around but like you're like Oh, I accounted for the linebacker.

Here comes a linebacker. Yeah, for the unfamiliar, the thing that really makes cook out a chaotic experience is that so many of your main dishes, what you think of as a main dish at another outlet, can be had either as a main or as a side here. And that's where people seem to get tripped up. Corn dog, corn dog, cheddar bite, corn dog is the play action pass. It is. I'm so winded. Don't throw it over.

Oh, it's over my head. like some kind of Carolina based sequel to the craft like can you see like squatting around a Ouija board being like corn dog corn dog cheddar bites corn dog your esophagus is a linebacker your esophagus is a linebacker your esophagus is a linebacker on a slot receiver just like oh god oh god I'm made for the run game uh and then then your beverage your beverage is going to be a cheesecake shake oh yeah jesus that's not gonna wash anything down all these things that oh you've introduced that binding agent

yeah you're just tamping it down you've built like a food tower of babble in your body there's a person on this call who's bragged about being impervious to dairy and it's not you no it's true I think you could do this I could absolutely do this because I'm impervious to dairy I have faith this would kill me like this would have you ever actually had a cheesecake shake? Yeah, this would kill me. I've never seen you do this. I've had a cheesecake shake and I had to lay down for seven months after that good, huh? All that for only like 250 or whatever. Yeah, you know, like the guy who hit, the guy who took a wing suit off of table rock in South Africa and he hit and they were like, yeah, his leg, like he lived, but like he hit a rock going 120 miles an hour and he was down for seven months. That was me after I had cheesecake. I tried a cheesecake shake. I tried something extreme and I had to spend seven months in traction. Okay, so one thing we haven't done is talk about,

so we've talked about how to destroy yourselves, but what people ask us a lot of the times is, hey, I'm going just like, what should I get? So what is your, what is your shake? Like all other things being equal, what is your go-to shake? Or are you a magpie? I have no go-to shake.

I roam from shake to shake, generally speaking. Seasonals. I tend to like go from the seasonal, particularly because the watermelon one. Yeah. And the watermelon shake season has just passed. us by the eggnog one in december's absolutely lovely i'm good for about one eggnog shake a year i'm really glad they don't sell it like into january or whatever because i might be tempted to like bring it for a birthday treat but no like i have my one eggnog shake for the year and i'm done

i feel like eggnogs just like that one a year that might that might be an eggnog universality jason what is your what is your go-to shake uh if i if i if we're to only select one it would probably be mint chip but i've bounced around all over we're spraying the board as far as has any i don't even feel like i have a i don't even feel like i have a particular taste for milkshakes because like i think my favorites are like peach and oreo which feel like they have a lot of daylight between them when it comes to shakes what is the walnut milkshake it's so okay i'm so glad you're not tennessee enough okay this is sorry this no i i think that's what it's i want to go to a vanderbill game i'm very not tennessee no this is this is more

of like in this is more of like an east tennessee thing which is why i'm not surprised it's leaked into uh it's leaked into the carolinas um black walnut ice cream is a very like southern appalachian i'm from i'm familiar with that sure okay cool so this is a this is just basically just blended black walnut ice cream and it's i mean you will at the bottom find a bunch of like ice cream liquid coated vanilla walnuts and then you get a delicious snack this is another thing that i can only get about once a year but like this this is a very specific childhood memory evoking thing for me because my grandparents had walnut trees and we would go get little ice cream cups from the gas station at the end of the road and we would scramble up on the carport roof and like eat them with nuts that we were pulling down uh off of the drying rack and so that's like that's a pure nostalgia hit for me i love that one okay that's helpful i recommend trying it it's it's basically like it's like butter pecan but a little less salty and more mapley does that make sense? yes I think so it's just very confusing

when you just see like chocolate fruit chocolate and fruit walnut is a really specifically regional thing but it's one that I just happen to love I will can I share with you my favorite conceptual way to order

at cookout what I find to be the most what that means for extreme way to order the most extreme way to order for me is the Rick Ross Rick Ross who on hustle you order a whale yeah it's got to be Three.

No, you would order on hustling, Rick Ross rhymes 22, like eight times in a row. Like he rhymes two or 22, eight times in a row. It is, are you tired of this? No, there's more. No, there's more. And for me, the Rick Ross is to order two cassidias with a tray and then get a cassidia and a cassidia as a side, right? Like the full wall-to-wall, rhyme, rhyme, rhyme, rhyme, rhyme.

The quadrida. The quadilla, yeah, the quaddiah. That is the most deranged order to me. Yeah, you can just get yourself a fine tiramisu. Poor milkshake on top of it to bind it. I wonder why we have bigger linemen than other places. This sounds like Chicago pizza to me. They should just put it on the menu as such.

Like this is the, oh, oh, what's the cookout secret menu? Yeah, man, you go and you say, give me the Chicago deep dish. And they give you four cassidias that they've just layered French dressing between. I think Spencer invented cookout lasagna, actually. That's raw. That's Ralee lasagna. Raw lasagna. Just take that whole thing, smash it together.

Go to an NC State game. Watch them lose by nine. Let's jump through some more. Y'all feel free to interrupt me at any point. I'm going to start reading from readers. Bojangles, which, all right, a lot of people like it. I've never personally been impressed, but that's fine. We have multiple people write and say,

the Cajun Filet biscuit with pimento cheese. Chick-fil-A, I like what Reader Jamie Matthews had to say, which is turn around and find the nearest Wendy's, because I will say this. I'll say this about Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich. It is the most legit spicy chicken sandwich anywhere you can find a fast food. Yes, including you, Popeyes.

When a fast food place that's spicy, they're fucking lying unless they're Wendy's. I trust you, Wendy's. On the topic of Bojangles, I don't find it worthwhile to go to one, to go to like a freestanding location, to like go to a drive-thru or whatever, it is, it is perfect airport food. You want to go to a sit-down, Bojang? No, it's perfect airport food. Okay. Welcome to Bojangles. Take the lady to Bojangles. Like, maybe that's what I've been missing, because I don't like Bojangles either, with the exception of the berry biscuit. I, I, the biscuit. Yeah, everyone will defend the biscuit. Like the, the Charlotte Airport and

Washington DC Union Station are some of the best places and a lot of it has to do with like the context and how tired you are and the fact that again at Union Station one of your options is to go to the fucking Sabaro buffet the most cursed place I've ever seen my own two eyes but I do think it has a higher value in travel context than it does just like going about town are you seeing Bojangles should be Cerber is shaking his head. Serber's missed. Carolina in the house. Server, speak up. Speak on it. This is not fucking cool.

I'm going to have four jingles on my birthday. Now you guys can't come. And on top of this, I can tell how new all of you are to cookout, which is making me even more angry. Oh, okay. Okay. Because I've been eating cookout. Speak on it. Speak on it.

It's not Raleigh lasagna. It's clearly triad lasagna. There's a different part of the state. I'm now channeling my inner Michael Felder. Wait, wait, which state? North Carolina or South Carolina. They're different, right? Yes, they are different.

We do need to differentiate between the two. Oh, man. The triad lasagna, because the NFL says they're the same. The idea that, like, anyone's bringing up pomeina cheese on the glorious Cajun Filet biscuit as if it needs anything else is really, really troubling. Yeah, why would your trash can want pimento cheese? through the Caj and Filet biscuit in it I'm so displeased Sermer has his head in his hands right now

I want everybody to think about the year plus of shutdown forecast that Cerber has had to endure both as we record and as he edits the fucking thing this is the angriest I've ever seen him by far but far

I don't think we have any more ACC coastal restaurants so I think I think you should be good from now on server I mean like talk about Colvers or something I don't care. Let's do that. From now, I'll keep Bojangles out your mouth. Okay, what is your go-to Bojangles order?

Occasion filet biscuit with Bow-Rounds. But none of the cheese. No, no. Okay. Pimino cheese from any fast food restaurant. I know I just defended Bojangles, but any fast food Pomeno cheese is not good and not acceptable to any self-respecting Southerner. I don't understand Permanento cheese. I'm not a huge fan, but definitely not from a fast food restaurant.

okay my family's pomeo cheese recipe is this just going to make it sound like creepy or glamorous or something and it's neither but my family pinot cheese best for me is a good bit different from like commercial pomeno cheese so i don't usually rock with it the one commercially available pomeo cheese that is approved by my mother and my godmother both and this is like this is a holy duo here is uh the jalapeno pomeo cheese from palmetto house that you can get at croaker that's from sacrizona but it's It's pretty good. Palmetto cheese. Go look for it. It's not in North Carolina. But it's pretty good. Yeah, sorry, that's what I was trying to get at. Like, it's from South Carolina, but don't let that put you off.

It's got to be the name of my film company. It's from South Carolina, but it's pretty good. That's what Clemson should put on all their recruiting memes. All right. Server, you said Culvers. They're next in alphabetical order. We're going to the Big Ten. The cheese curds, all right?

The big burger, all that stuff. Like, that's, you know. I need to be educated on Culver because I think I've ever seen one. We have a few in Georgia. So you're going to get the big ass buttery burger, all right? Everything that's, the worst it sounds for you, the better it is. Cheese, Gourge, the essential thing to get a set of fries. Several readers wrote in to recommend the porkloin sandwich, which I have never tried.

That sounds advanced for a fast food place. How do you put that in a fast food context? Yeah, I don't know. Colvers, it's this very interesting mix between you're sensing freshness but also sensing I now have all the cholesterol I need for the rest of my life

like everything feels like it's from a farm you're getting like farm fresh cholesterol basically. If you could turn up gravity on the planet Earth for about 45 minutes that's how it feels after you eat at Culver's. Everything is heavier more torpid, not necessarily

less energetic, but everything requires far more energy. And the only time I've ever eaten there with Jason, I ate there with Jason at a Culver's that is located somewhere north of here, I forget where, but it's in like a baron, it's in like a pine baron and it was like 95 degrees

we're like, let's eat at Culver's. And we had just hiked a mountain, we went, we hiked a mountain and they went straight to Culver's. It was like total shock of all senses. Is Georgia some kind of, and I'm Maybe this is because of the airport. I don't know.

But is Georgia some weird kind of, like, nexus for regional fast food? Because we have del tacos here, and I don't understand that at all. I think the boring answer is all of the fast food conglomerates are, like, getting bought up. And, like, Atlanta is frequently just, yeah. I wonder if it's, like, so many del taco executives are flying through, and they're like, you know what? You know what we need. We'll just plant a seed while we're here. I have been to a del taco in fucking Douglasville now.

I have been to a culver. in O'Clair, Wisconsin in February. Wow, damn. That hit right. Tenman. That's a serious big ten, yeah. I have, I have never felt more out of place in my life,

and I've been inside several prisons. Okay. I just, like, didn't know what to do. Like, I, like, had no context for it. I didn't know what I was getting into, and it was just like, yeah, it was a weird feeling. did you get the big ass butterburger I yeah

what it's called yes no there's no cursing no cursing no cursing in a corner it's it's all humble wholesome midwestern okay yeah yeah like all over the place is like here's the farmer who grew this lettuce and stuff have you all ever read

like Roger Ebert's essay about steak steak and shake I would just I would mark that no it's really it's really entertaining and he he invokes the the glory of the butterburger as well I would recommend that as reading for anyone who likes this episode

go listen to this article yeah this is by the way culver's entire business plan is what shake shack just stole shake shack is not for the people Culvers is for the people why is shake shake for the steak steak steak steak not shake yeah but Culver's like if you look

like this is secretly shake shack has crinkle fries and I maintain that crinkle fries are not to be trusted Colvers has them as well so they may be a little suss in your eyes see shake to me is airport airport because I've only ever seen it in the airport

yeah I think shake And it's always like what I grab when I'm stuck at the dead end of B concourse at JFK. Shake Shakesh was also the nearest place to Vox's DC office. So I got used to eating a lot of shake shack and maybe I developed an appreciation for it. I think the common thread we are circling around here is shake shack is your best fast food option if you are expensing your meal. Oh yes. If somebody else is picking up the ad. Look at the value I'm getting.

Shake shack is great. If you are paying for it. but also I put it with in and out in that the sides are trash. Yeah, but I, I think it's easier. I think it's easier to move on from that at Shake Shack for whatever reason. Can I, can I, can I,

can I, can I move on and invite the listener over into this dark corner with me? Because, because I need the list should to come up at this dark corner. We'll, we're all secret. He's, he's combined cheesecake and cassidias. Okay. I mean, you could joke about having no shame.

to come on in, brother. Are we going to talk about Crystal? I hope we're going to talk about Crystal enthusiastically. We're going to be talking about Hardee's. Oh, boy. That's right. Yeah, it's Hardee's time. Our second episode in a row with Hardy's content.

This is OG Hardy's, not the regional West Coast branch that we invented the recent forecast after dark. Georgia is a verb. Let's everybody know. And this is gospel truth. I'm a Hardee's breakfast evangelist. And when someone is finally dumb enough to take my advice, I always recommend the omelet biscuit and the country fried steak biscuit.

Hardee's is the last. Listen, get both of them, if you dare. The country fried steak biscuit at Hardee's slaps. It's delicious. I don't know you, man. I told you. I know, if you feel this, you're right here with me. Okay?

You're not alone. There are others out here who respect the Hardee's breakfast. I feel like Hardee's is the brand that Arby's advertises, right? Like Arby's is like, okay, you got sandwiches and stuff. But their commercials are like, fuck you, meat. Hardys is that actual place. There'd the be about it to Arby's talk about it. Remember what Hardy's commercials used to be like?

The weird social media. I think of the Jessica Simpson era. Yeah, they've had a few errors. Yeah. They have a few apologies to write. They specifically fuck Carl's Jr. Because Hardee's weren't like that before Carl's bottom. And Hardy's breakfast was even better before they were acquired by Carl's.

Back in like blue and orange parties days. Yeah, like Grandma and Papaw breakfast Sunday morning Hardee's was real, real good. Kale Yarborough Hardee's, right? Like the soul of Hardee's went out when they stopped sponsoring NASCAR. I feel like for a period of time there was some sort of like local law everywhere in the South where like you had to have a hearties within a hundred feet of a hospital

like every hospital walking distance to a hearties for some reason well you were saying that Bojangles is best consumed under pressure under stress right you're like man it's like Bojangles tastes so good when it's in an airport and I'm like what if you had a hearties right next to a divorce court right like everybody's just coming out and be like

oh god you need a biscuit I got to re-fortify I got to re-fortify he'll be like it's so good and I don't know why and I'm like you're going to format my tum-tum I just lost 50% of my stomach

and I need to rebuild it 50% of my body weight oh geez I got to economize now hello hearties the trickiest thing the trickiest thing about Hardee's. It is that it is the it is the least photogenic fast food

in the world. I'm looking at the website right now and it's like all of this is just like food slab food slab. Sometimes you want food slab. See this is the be about it right. This is the be about it. Arby. Arby's is like come over. We'll Netflix and chill and Hardy's is like come over now. Hardee's Here's a picture of my asshole.

It's called a Big Buford. It is. And you don't want to tell your friends about it, but you're calling them. The big asshole burger. Big asshole butter burger. Extra assortar. So that's a recommendation at Hardee's.

This probably goes without saying, but as best I can tell, Hardys also does not offer salads. I don't think that way. Hardies Hardies would just end up making Larb but with like raw ground beef. Yeah.

I think if you gave if you brought like ahead of Iceberg lettuce to Hardies I'd be like this beef looks fucking terrible. What'd you do this? Just throwing it right in the friar. What? What?

This onions's fucked up but we'll make rings out of it. That's a hundred burgers worth of topping. That's Hardies. You floss with that? Server still doesn't look like he's forgiven us. No, he hasn't. No, he's fine.

It's all right. It's all right. Let's return to the Big Ten. I'm not exactly sure how to pronounce this in Big Ten. Portillo's. That's not about right? This is a Chicago thing. It's very Chicago.

I'm pretty sure I've eaten there with Matt Brown. I think it was the only time I went there. So I had an expert's handholding as I was there. But Reader Dobbs writes in to recommend the combo sandwich, hot peppers, dipped mozzarella. Side of cheese fry. so you can pour your leftover cheese sauce onto the sandwich.

That's Chicago as hell. Just dump my cheese fries. You feel like one of those like NBC Wednesday night promos where they're like, that's the Chicago way. Everything, every piece of Chicago food is a mistaken dare. All of it.

I just love it. The sandwich alone sounds daunting. And then it's fries also. But wait. Cheese fries, but wait. They have so many over. I think it's trying to, no, I think it's,

you have to line your body for winter, right? You have to line your skin. Oh, see, I think, I think what it is is. No, I mean, like, you have to put the, so if you put the cheese on the inside of your body, then it helps protect your organs from the wind. You have the sweater you put on over your body and the sweater you put on within.

I think what this actually is is, is like all of Chicago's restauranteurs and chefs got together, and they were like, this is a city full of bears and cubs fans. And we need to kill them. as quickly as possible for their own bed we need to just get them dead sports teams aren't doing it we need to get them dead

well think about it everybody would go and work in a slaughterhouse right shoot cows in the head all day cut them up come home right they drink hard they'd watch terrible sports and then restaurants would come and they would be like please sir where would you like to sit and they'd be like what the fuck what's wrong with you

why aren't you trying to kill or assault to ruin my life so eventually the restaurants had to respond in kind and be like we want some place where Chicago locals feel safe so they would walk in and be like sandwich dipped in cheese asshole they would just like cram it sandwich dipped in cheese assholes

I'm actually kind of amazed cheese assholes isn't outside anywhere I feel like we encountered something within a previous full cast where there was somebody selling basically that anyway I sure the listeners remember what like calamari but you dip them in cheese I don't know

for some reason this is ringing as a memory Chicago feels like the place to combine cheese and seafood at every turn. I also like that Chicago food is completely lost. It's basically like if you could take Photoshop and adjust the sliders and free transform food, like pizza butt thick. Yeah. Right? Or sandwich, like sandwich, is it too big to dip?

No. We'll just make the dip bowl. Dump the dip on it. Just dump the dip on it. Can I share some history of Portillo's from the, from Wikipedia? So, uh, Portillo was originally opened as. a hot dog trailer that had no restroom and no running water called the dog house. The stand was losing money and the founder, Dick Portillo, needed to find a solution.

So what did this enterprising young Chicago man do? He went to other competitors and snuck into the back rooms and wrote down where they were purchasing their product. He did this over and over again to get like so that he could upgrade to a larger trailer. So he just basically copied other people's homework Until he could have a successful business And they dipped in a cheese Because that was what they weren't doing That's what the portillo's we hate you

He walked into all those places It says wait a freaking minute Where's the cheese He also apparently was involved in some business called Key Wester Fish and Pasta House What Yeah Oh, no, no, that's what

Bain's dudes That, no, this tracks, that's what So, like, Gotham is Chicago, right? And that's what Bain's dudes say When he's climbing out of the hole in the dude, like, Fish, fish, fish, fish, pasta, pasta. Okay. Go run that, go run the movie back.

That's why they're down in the pit, remember? Because they're waiting for it to be filled with cheese. We're down here. So Batman got out. And we will all rise. Yeah, Batman got out floating on top of the cheese. What fire rises faster than one that has grease dripped on it? That's why Chicago-S-Gotham is so crime-ridden because nobody can escape from criminals.

Too full. Can't run. Too gassy. Too gassy. Oh, God. Scarecroth. Let's run through a regional. Actually, I think, hey, all these are Big 12 adjacent.

Runza, former Big 12. Hardy Wallbanger rides in. Nebraska's, Nebraska. get asked what to order at a runza. The correct answer is chili with cinnamon rolls between October and April or cheese runza year round. I've never been more big. That's right.

Yeah, this is the only thing I know. I've never sampled this place. I feel like the only place sports writers ever eat it is like in the press box at a Nebraska game. But everyone says this is the most insane thing I've ever tried, but it works. I've never heard anyone say it's bad, the chili with cinnamon rolls. Have any of you all ever try this? No, it's just kind of like I accept it as a concept

Like I don't doubt the concept I've just never tried it I've never had the chance But I believe them The runs itself appears to be some sort of like hot pocket Yeah it's like a big hot pocket Okay Yeah

I don't trust it I know it's probably pretty good Thanks Spencer But I don't Always a pleasure I don't yeah I mean the chili with cinnamon rolls I could, that seems fine.

I could go with that. I've heard enough people I trust say it's pretty good. Runza. I don't know, man. I'm still not super clear on what the runza is, but I trust the chili and cinnamon rolls. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's go to Sheets with a Z. Backyard brawl time. Abnoxiously pissed girl writes in to say fried cheese curds or the app sampler with fried mac and cheese bites, popcorn chicken and cheese curds with boom boom sauce. And multiple people say you can get two hot dogs for a dollar there. Holly, take it away.

West Virginia. tagging in as a person who does not consume eggs it is really difficult to get any kind of road breakfast in America and or really in a lot of restaurants that aren't road breakfast because America's idea of breakfast food is to like slap an egg on normal food and that's just that's just not my deal and sheets I love because if you've never been inside a sheets which those of you at home that's S-H-E-E-E-E. it is a palatial gas station chain uh in the pennsylvania west virginia axis it is there is one in the very very very eastern reaches of georgia now i think or it's coming soon because they have they have

stretched down as far as north carolina now and the last time i was up there for work the cashier excitedly told me that like oh where she saw my license or something she's like oh we're going to be there soon i'm like oh thank god but sheets has this this last labyrinthine touchscreen menu where you go inside and you can order a breakfast sandwich and you can get a breakfast sandwich that has all kinds of like things on it that are not eggs right you could they have you know the the topping menu is like cookoutesque you know you can get your biscuit with chicken sausage and pico de gallo and avocado slices and whatever but there's all kinds of all kinds of options for you to get uh breakfast food that don't involve eating disgusting eggs spencer what are you doing, man. Okay. Stop it. And they also have a coffee bar that does the exact same thing.

You can add all manner of disgusting syrups to it. But sheets in the past like decade or so has also expanded past the pickled eggs and tuna sandwiches to have like a pretty nice little, you know, kiosk set up in the middle of the place where you can get, you know, a cup of fresh grapes. You can get, you know, you can get, you know, you can get, like, you can get, like, little like above cafeteria grade like fruit salad situations when when you've been on the road for like nine hours it's really nice also uh they pretty perennially in my experience have clean bathrooms and everybody in there is super friendly and uh i i place sheets over wawa because i

place a premium on being able to uh have food that is intentionally made without eggs that's a very specific niche from the other side of your fruit salad take they have a fried chicken sandwich with mozzarella sticks on top of it oh yeah this is the thing that's really really awesome yeah so you have the app sampler on one end and like you can add fried macaroni and cheese bites to anything you can probably put it in coffee if you want to so if that's your mood you can have it but you know if that is mom's mood and dad is like if i don't get something green in my stomach i will die There's like, you know, a carrots and celery cup. Sheets can serve in a pretty, in what I've always been in, at least like most of my experience, it's a gas station. But, you know, it's a QT. It's a loves. It's a pretty well-kept gas station.

You can serve a wide spectrum of needs in this one little spot. My favorite thing about Asheets is this, that you can find a night of the Alleghenies, some gentlemen up there who has got a pack of Sigs, right? A monster energy. but he likes choice too right he's in there in his like boots and he's got his like stiller's hat or his you know west virginia i forgot the best part if you're in west virginia also and this will change as you go as you go up and down the highways from pennsylvania to west virginia they will have local pepperoni rolls from whatever whatever the local establishment is that makes the pepperoni rolls they will have they will have your particular neck of the

hollers uh bakery has has a rack set up so you can you can get pepperoni rolls as they are meant to be had, you know, eaten in the car at 90 miles an hour on a road with no guard wheels. We'll see, like, the Knights of the Alleghenies who were doing this, they love that. They love the custom stuff. They love choice. They love it because you're like, what are you doing? Yeah, I got some smokes and a monster.

But, you know, I also got a little schmiscuit here with some Canadian bacon and, you know, egg whites, because I'm trying to be healthy. Yeah, like, everybody loves cheat. See, sometimes I will go in and my order will be like, oh, I'm going to get a breakfast burrito. and instead of eggs, I know that they can just fill it up with potatoes instead. And I keep repeating this because this is like a lifetime of me having to go back and say, hey, fuckers, you put eggs in this. But sometimes it's a pepperoni roll in a cup of grapes, and that's good, too.

Well, that goes to the other choice here, listed for sheets, which is my favorite, because we've gone at length on all of the gourmet options that sheets can provide you for very little money. And then the next suggestion by multiple people is two hot dogs for a dollar. Also that. There's a spectrum. there's a spectrum of cost there's a spectrum of nutrition and Sheets is there for you up and down

both of these axes Speaking of up and down As far as something that goes down into your body And then likely back up We're going to stay within the Big 12 We're going to go to Skyline in Cincinnati The recommendation from I love a good slurry

It's a combo recommendation I'm going to call it Professor Butts Featuring Action Cookbook All right A regular five way two cheese conies no onion no mustard mountain dew crackers and hot sauce this of course just a huge ass pile of spaghetti with chilies and lots of cheese on top of it um i've done skyline once and that was plenty of a regular five way

only in cincinnati are they like oh get the crackers what are they crackers are they crackers am i am i only skyline better in here or i think so no you've not not touching it i'm not touching it i've never had it i'm not i did it once and it was very much like okay half a plate that's okay I'm good I get it there are two things there are two things on this list

of restaurants that I that two places I will not touch Skyline is one of them I don't object to the concept of either like chili spaghetti or like cheese on they're on I just think the chili in question looks gross

yeah I recall the the spaghetti noodles being very like soft and you know what I mean thick and soft That kind. It's not Cincinnati.

That's a Cincinnati Al dente. I can't do a Cincinnati accent. I don't know why I default. There was, I can't imagine what it is. No, I can't either, actually. I think there was some baseball announcer

earlier this year who when they showed it was a whole video segment on Skyline in the stadium. Like, oh, there's a Skyline Chili here in Cincinnati. And the announcer just no sold it. Didn't even play along. It was just like, no. I'm pretty sure this was,

I'm like 90% sure this was the Mets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was the Mets. It was Keith Hernandez. That's what, I don't know if it was Keith, but it was definitely one of the Mets announcers and it was like, oh, this is a very Mets thing to do to not even pretend, to not even go along with that. No, they're like, look at that. What do you think?

That looks like garbage. It looks like hot, hot, fricking garbage right there. No way. A Mets man is like, no, we got way better food. So Ryan is a Mets fan. That's not true. That's not true. Wait, I thought you were.

I dabbled in Mets fandom, as many people make bad mistakes when they're young. Okay. Wait, wait. When was this? I'm in New York thing. I moved to New York. I was like, oh, I should make some attempt to, you know, take an interest in one of the local sports teams.

And the Mets were the right intersection of cheap, not going to be good during football season, and not absolutely. riddled with assholes in the fan group. This was me and the LA Kings, okay. During our time recording this show, you have been a Mets fan. I don't, I actually don't know if that's true.

I didn't last that long. So, the reason I ask is that something, I learned something about Mets games over the weekend that you have never brought up and never bringing it up in the context of this show feels weird. Okay. They play piano man at every fucking game.

Do they? I didn't know that that's true I like that I don't know that may that may be a more recent thing I know if this person was fucking with me I know if this person was fucking with me it's entirely possible that it's true I don't remember that being a thing but I'm not I couldn't speak to it either way yeah okay so you're among Mets fans you're there's there's a schism and you're among those who don't have opinions on piano man hey did we sorry I'm vibing back to my eggless breakfast thing did we skip crystal did Nobody asked for Crystal. That feels weird. No one weighed in on Crystal. Any take? So let's do this now. Crystal and Sonic are on here with no takes.

Anyone with those? I can do both of those real quick. No food at Sonic is good, but all of the drinks are great. I think I will, I will say that the tots at Sonic are fine. If you just needs, if you need a salty to go with your sweet. If you need a snack, yeah. Yeah, I, yeah, I, all of the, all of the lymades at Sonic are. are my jammed. They have crushed ice, which goes a long way, the Lord of All Eyes. Much like

Xaxby's, you can buy Sonic Ice 2-Go. But I converted Spencer to Crystal's breakfast, which has been, as my father taught me, because at Crystal, I guess they don't make the little breakfast sandwiches in advance because they'd get squishy because of the steam. So you can get an eggless breakfast sandwich at Crystal. And I've converted him to it just in the past few weeks on his thinking out loud commute it's delicious speak on it also we got a really good crystal we do we're next we're very blessed or unblessed depending on how you define your caloric intake to be uh over by a really excellent pop-eyes and like so excellent that we thought it had to be a law enforcement front and uh a very a crystal that is populated entirely with like over 40 women in the kitchen and it's just like

you can tell there's like a real there's just like a real hocus pocus vibe in there um and the crystal coven like i wouldn't cross them for money but i am i am exceedingly polite and they are they are very sweet the other thing crystal does which is the exact opposite of what holly is looking for but which is sometimes what i am looking for in a breakfast they will just serve you and it's it's not appetizing but it is it tastes good and sometimes just you need they're just like here is a cup of eggs and bacon here it is just eat your eat your eggs and bacon horse trough have an eggs and bacon shooter no it's yeah it's it's but it's like a pint glass yeah it's bigger than that it's like the um i'm trying to think of what it would be like comparable to size wise it's like

a wendy's chili's like when you get yeah yeah it's like like eight out you get a cup of chili from wendy it's like a short shorter cup but a wider cup yes but it's just eggs, cheese, and bacon, or sausage. So Crystal does this thing with their breakfast that I wish other fast food restaurants would do. They have the biscuit, right? But they also, their little, their little, like, Hawaiian roll-style burger buns, they make breakfast sandwiches on those. And instead of having, like, the regular burger meat, I think Crystal burgers are, like, trash and White Castle, too. They're not my thing.

But they have a little tiny sausage patty on the breakfast sandwich sandwich. I wish that more places would run a breakfast burger with this because you can get it without the disgusting slice of processed egg on it. And it's very good. And it'll probably kill me very early. Um, let's see. Let's, uh, let's, uh, let's go ahead to Taco Bell, all right. That's the other one. I have a controversial take here. I don't think you should have a go-to order at Taco Bell. I, I as well. I do not. I've been there a thousand times and every time it's just sort of roll up look at the menu and like this is a quarterback who stays in the pocket so just like get whatever you want because really we're just talking about like whether we're

running a short out to the left or to the right or jumping it to the half back every single there is the thing there is the cheesy crunchy whatever the only thing i'll say the potatoes are good anything like the potato items always come and go but all potato items at taco bell are good i had a go-to order at taco bell until because like i'm i'm drink driven i'm kind of realizing as we're talking about this, like deciding where I'm going to stop, it's like, do they have fountain mountain dew? Do they have cheer wine and pebble ice? This is going to like dictate where we stop more often than not. But Taco Bell got rid of the Meximelt, which is a fucking travesty. So now I don't have a go-to order anymore. You can technically get one if you

ask for the like, they will just make a fuck. I like the Meximelt because it's simple, right? Like you have your beef and you have your cheese and you have your pico, the end. And you have to get like a queso roll up and tell them to add beef. and pico to it and they will say do you just want a mexemel and you're like yeah and they're like we don't make those anymore i'm like yeah that sucks and they're like yeah that sucks too um i'm looking at the taco bell why did you get rid of it answer me i'm looking at the breakfast menu for taco bell and it has what might be the most cursed item i've seen in this whole episode i don't think our taco bell does breakfast yet i don't think it's made its way to this part of

the world because i've the potato breakfast items this item is not food it's drink and it's called Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus Oh no Go on You can't put this in my line of fire What no

What trying to attack the day or not I'm trying to assault the day Great point I want the day to attack me Lots to think about as always Like I'm not going to read the branding behind it Because I don't feel like reading that copy

but it's basically like hey you're a shit bag right and shit bags hate mornings so why not why not fuck mornings right in their face with some Mountain Dew Kixirn orange yeah

is this like an energy drink I'm sorry I'm gonna read the cop no I'm gonna read the copy okay you ready go ahead yeah show morning who's boss that's unbold it says show morning his boss

it doesn't say who it is oh my god All right, I'm going to read this. This is the start of the little print. It's like the worst bully of all time. Just picking on you when you're most vulnerable and too tired to fight back, especially those pesky Mondays. What have we ever do to Mondays anyway to treat us so right? Oh my God.

What are you doing that you feel this bad in the morning? Well, you feel good. It's not good, but it ain't this. You soon feel good is the thing. All your problems go away. But the mountain, dude. Mountain Do, oh, this is my favorite thing. Like, basically like, why do you feel bad in the morning?

But it's not our fault. We're awesome and don't want to waste a perfectly good Sunday. But the Mountain Dew kicks, what are you doing on Sunday? What kind of drugs are you doing on Sunday that you feel this bad on Monday? You're out late because you can't play Vanderbilt. That's right. But the Mountain Dew Kickstart gets us type of people. The slow wakers, the constant snoozers, the sleep through four alarm clocks, or the mom

busting through our room to wake us and tell us we have 15 minutes until until school starts whatever though right this is why mountain dude is that really the copy i am reading it verbatim to give you the energy to fight through the fatigue and punch morning right in its little 8 a.m smack talking bell wow 8 a.m. yeah so early so early Taco bell over here cutting a promo on morning this is awesome of morning this is brilliant this is perfect this is targeted this

is written for 19-year-olds who think 8 a.m. is incredibly early. Spencer, can you describe the color of Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange? Yeah. It looks like a log flume. It's the color of old transmission fluid. It looks like a haunted log flume. It does look like a- that makes me want to drink it more. This is a problem. It is the, it is the exact color of, is that piss? That's what it's not the color of your it's the color of, is that piss? I think this is written for problem drinkers. Today's a day.

I'm about to have a problem drink. I just read that. I feel like I need a sponsor. Again, this is the breakfast menu. Yes, it's going to be a long day. I appreciate a restaurant that's openly hostile towards the concept of mornings. That meets my emotional.

Now we've got to find the lunch item that's like, Fuck you, Noon. Oh, you think we're getting away clean, 6.30? People tell you this is a bad time to sleep. Will you know what? Layer your stomach full of cheesy gordita crunch and then go to sleep. A specter just rose before me. Wait until the, wait until the X games generation, it's geriatric.

which won't be that far off and watch how early bird dinner gets marketed as extreme. Yes. Oh, it's four fucking 30. It's trying to cram that gulland, brother. Fuck you, three o'clock. We're going to Bob Evans.

We're going to be in bed before dark. Perhaps that most confusing... Ryan, you know you're on board with this. I know how you feel about 9 p.m. bedtime. I am confused because the Taco Bell menu lists as and it lists the the caloric content of the following

sporks, cup lids, and napkins. Yeah, that's Taco Bell. Yeah. This is not doing anything to dissuade me. They know what they're doing. Taco Bell's about two things. Fuck clocks and you'll eat it. That's it.

Put it on the sign. You'll eat it. It's for people. How amazing would a Taco Bell casino be? Because they're designed to not make you know what time of day. already where'd they put the Taco Bell resort there's that thing yeah that's the yeah that's the yeah it's in Palm Springs we've actually already had a Taco Bell 9-11 episode in the yeah but this is really do you remember when Rip Torn got so drunk that he broke into a bank thinking it was his house that's Taco Bell's ideal consumer for all of this right they're like so the person we're

feeding all this food to it's ripped torn right you know just so drunk he broke into a bank because he thought it was his home that's the average Taco Bell consumer yeah 17 year old rip torn teen rip torn right they're like at the crack of 3 p.m yield you a snack Spencer there's an easier and more legal way to turn your house into a bank

oh I bet I bet I know what it is Ryan home field apparel Jason tell about acorns so the I was trying to think remember what restaurant we were talking about so I could connect that but it's been a long time Acorns.com slash fullcast is where you go to get $5 starter kit

and your little app that you can retire with. And you know what retired people like to do? Wake up really early and then go to Taco Bell. You will have the money to afford the orange nitrous oxide with your acorns fund that you have been accumulating for numerous decades started off with your $5 booster pack at acorns.com slash fullcast. How it works is when you buy things such as cheesy gritty to crunches. The excess change goes into this thing that then goes into the market and then does stuff.

And I'm almost at $1,000 in here, by the way. Fuck. That is like 300 cookout trays. That's so many synod twists. You could possibly feel like a beanbag chair with sinit twists. It says like you retire. The age slider goes up to 83. That's a lot to ask.

I've eaten a lot of taco about. Let's be honest. The age slider is a soon. that you're not only eating cookout in retirement and if you are you're probably getting such value that like 58 57 maybe well that that does double for you because you're spending less money and you're going to live less long you don't need much money for retirement if you cook out every day yep yep yep acorns dot com slash fullcast uh Spencer what's the latest on sun theft on sun theft let me check somebody has my phone at the moment but i'm gonna my phone i did

I'm going to go ahead. Last we checked, I believe we had a gap of around $70. That has fluctuated because I believe one, you know, funds are all different. They sort of grow at different rates. So I will check it as soon as I have my phone. You're saying this with incredible confidence, and that's what I appreciate. I am. I am because I really.

Market expert Spencer Hall. But I will tell you, I will tell you, my own fund, it's becoming fairly impressive. I think I could buy a fairly nice TV. with the money that I've managed to score away with a... That's like $80. Isn't that my TV these days? Average price of a flat screen. That's... You know what?

That's Taco Bell's that... I bet they have caloric information for a flat screen. You'd probably eat one if you're pulling through. Get them out and do kickstart orange. Eat a flat screen. Come back at 3 p.m. Fuck mornings, am I right? They don't let you eat TVs in the

morning. At 2 p.m. at 2 p.m. why don't you come back for dunch. Kick dunch in the face. Oh, I hate that word. That word's upsetting. Kick dunch in the face with our quadruple, cheesy quadrita. Fuck you, dunch.

Is this how people feel about moist? Because that word just really upset. Yeah, I think it is. Come get ninth meal at 4.15 a.m. Everybody's like, did you say ninth meal or knife meal? They're like, yes, we did. Our knives have 60 grams of sodium. Get the cheesy knife supreme.

Put a mutant cockroach in a rear naked choke with our knife supreme. Go on in for 24th meal. Fallout the restaurant. Welcome to last meal. Last meal. Oh, wow. That's the Taco Bell next to the hospital. The last supper at Taco Bell.

Jesus dipped the bread and the orange. orange nitrous oxide and life began on earth what the fuck and everyone just got really fired up that's right that's right you just did some stuff uh let's let's do the other ad that's my smooth transition sure sure uh i can give us a transition if we want please do uh yet another person has emerged from the wilds of atlanta to say that they met the drunk Nebraska fan. Oh, come on. Whose name I don't want to reveal on the show unless we find out it's okay.

So I'm just going to keep calling him drunk Nebraska fan. He was very proud of being, this is Alex Rodden, who says, I met the drunk Nebraska fan at a brewery. He was very proud of being the Scott Frost Day guy. His wife and kids were very nice, too. Does he, that how he introduces himself? Nebraska is a school. So now I think that's four of us since he encountered.

jason's wife at the atlanta live show and made himself a legend that have that have run into him in the wild he i don't know he's he's become our bill murray uh anyway nebraska is a school that has many former students that surely want to represent their um their sporting interests that's all i got there that's the ramp take it if you want it i don't think they can do this freeway isn't finished i don't think we can do it is speed on because this freeway isn't finished home field apparel speed's always on

at home field apparel and so are your clothes that you buy from home field apparel I don't think they have Arizona you know fuck we are really we are really fucking this Connor I'm so sorry

I'm sorry Arizona Wildcats are a good football team in the speed universe so clearly we're in a different timeline and it's not our fault that Arizona is not at home field speed you can't go under 55 but at home field you can for

a t-shirt and some money Leftover, dollars-wise. Especially if you use offer code full cast to get 20% off your first order at homefield apparel.com slash speed is on. That's not a real year now. Here are some of the schools you can get at home field apparel. You can get compty vintage collegiate apparel that have the same-ish colors as Nebraska. Bradley. Youngstown State.

Colgate. Detroit. Mercy. Indiana. Houston. There's probably a USC shirt that doesn't have much yellow in it. Fresno State. I was going to say speaking.

Actually, in IU, it could be like the Nebraska is the university. Yeah. Speaking of a speeding vehicle that lost a passenger in software. We're in an ad read asshole. In Southern California. No, USC. USC coming up. That's right.

USC coming up for Big New Saturday. We just finished West Virginia. West Virginia roll out was great. Just absolutely lovely. USC's next. And as always, because this has come up a few times, if Homefield doesn't have your school, it doesn't mean they hate your school except for one,

which will never reveal. It means that your school is probably being Dix to Homefield. So go find the athletic director on Twitter or whoever. We're not saying this is a joke. This has worked for several schools. Yes. at the athletic director, you don't have to copy us on this. We believe you.

Yeah. I made this mistake last time. You don't have to copy me every time you tweet your athletic director. You will not get extra credit for this. No. It's for you, not us. But if you want your, somebody over, somebody last week was like, did they just hate Oregon? I'm like, you think they don't want Oregon money?

Who's the last? Who's going to be the last FBS school in the home field pool? See, I would have said Georgia. And that domino has fallen, so who the hell knows? Ohio State is good guess. Ohio State. It'll be Ohio State. But Texas is already there, yeah. Bam is already.

I can't believe such a hoodie-based economy as Ohio State has not thrown in with the brand of the good squishy hoodie yet. But that's all right. I'm just going to be over here wearing my Ohio Bobcats hoodie. Thriving. Wearing my Michigan shirt. Wearing my Rutgers shirt. Wearing my Yukon hoodie. or Yukon sweatshirt to

Yukon Vanderbilt. I think I will I want to be very clear if I go to this game I am wearing my Yukon sweatshirt. Everybody now you know how to find Ryan.

I'll be the guy in the Yukon sweatshirt. The only... So I'll be no one here. I'll be the Yukon fan. I'll probably be able to sneak onto the Yukon sideline with it. Take a heads.

Oh my God, that's it. That's what we have to do. Like I said, you're going to do more than sneak on to the sideline. If you come down there in a Yukon hoodie, that's head coach Ryan Nanny. What do you think we could get into the Vanderbilt Stadium?

Do you think we can walk into Vanderbilt stadium? Because like walking in's too easy. Could we walk in like carrying a large pizza? Yes. They're not going to stop you. Could we carry like a bathtub over our heads like a like a canoe that we're taking to the creek? Just walking with a bathtub.

Yes. If you're walking with purpose, yes. Could we carry, could we walk in carrying one of those like five foot tall teddy bears from a carnival? Oh yeah. That counts as a fan. The attendance number's going up. They love that. That's a, that's a support animal.

Yeah. Biohazard cooler. That's Vanderbilt football. Yeah. As somebody points out, the hospital's actually close by. That's true. I'm off shift. Love day, huh?

Me and McKinney's just here to watch some doors football. What about like an emu on a leash? No. That's where I think they'll draw the line. You got to have an off leash emu. Could I? Offleish emu could be anybody's. That's not mine.

You've got to take it up with him. What if I bring the 12-foot home depot skeleton? They're sold out. I can't find one anywhere in a 300-mile radius. If anyone out there can get me a Home Depot skeleton, I'll Venmo you. There's one for sale on Amazon for $1,024. I want the actual one. Where our global shipping crisis really hit me, really punched me right in the heart.

Yeah. Oh, true story. By the way, Amanda Mull has a great piece of the Atlantic out today about, called You Can Wait for Your Couch about remembering that the shipping crisis is actually backed up by a dangerous labor that's being done by a whole bunch of people

who aren't able to work right now or who are able to work right now in terrible conditions I'm laying all that down on the ground so that I can say that my fast nine blue ray delivery it came out today and I'm not going to get it now until day after tomorrow and I'm fucking furious that's fair

yeah I think we could get the 12 foot home depot skeleton though. I think we'd have to bring it in half. I didn't grow down for it last year and that was my mistake. What if we each came in carrying just several large human bones? What if we offered to buy it a $4 ticket when they're like, hey you got a you can't bring that in here. We're like imagine imagine sitting there in our, okay, but we talked about the seats being too close to the field. We're sitting there with the Home Depot skeleton in between us and somebody behind us is like down in front and we'll swivel the skeleton's head on it.

We swivel the head directly around so that it's, and I'm trademarked, this phrase is trademarked, so that it's life eyes are staring correctly at the spectators behind them. Can it then say, oh, sorry? I think the key is that if you bring the 12 foot Home Depot skeleton to a Vanderbilt game, you have to treat it like it's a person the whole time. Like you have to just, you have to hope that the television cameras catch you like casually chatting

with the 12 foot Home Depot skeleton. not at any point I'm Stephen Godfrey yes that's right not goofing off with it not like trying to fuck with people just treating it like it's your friend 12 foot Home Depot skeleton who also

had $44 for tickets and parking because obviously back at Home Depot since July sorry Home Depot's corporate blog had to write a thing about this because that's how much and they were like visit Home Depot's starting July 16th while supplies last

I've been on their every fucking day since like June 1 they have not do you think it's like you think it's like you think it's like should they start their own like sneakers app for it where every Saturday you log on it like nine S KLT Schultzkelton John Schultz like and it says like got it and the eyes flash I just saw an SEC I just saw like an SEC like Kiron under that if me and you sitting next to the 12 foot skeleton and underneath it it says Vanderbilt

legend Will Purdue. here is a quote from that corporate blog by the way because they have a couple new additions this year including one that has a flaming pumpkin for a head if our customers and associates loved our original 12 foot skeleton and we did they'll have to have our new 12 foot inferno pumpkin skeleton that's so true lance allen decorative holiday merchant but you won't let me fucking buy one This is the challenge I issued a you, Spencer. Walk into the Yukon Vanderbilt game with the largest container of Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange you can find. You're talking to a man who has walked into a strip club carrying like a half gallon of spinach Maria. Which, you know, I left there. Oh, I forgot. I was going to tell that story. Yeah, the punchline is he forgot it. I did forget it. It was really good. But to be.

fair it was the clermont who doesn't leave who doesn't leave spinach very half gallon to spanish barriette no there's one more punchline which is that it was for your wife it was yeah and then i left it there um sorry honey i took your spinach maria to the strip club and then it's worse i took it to the clermont that's worse right if food safe environment that is not that's not that's not worse there's just a section that you can there's just a section that you can search in home Depot now that says skeleton. I knew I should have paid for this last year. Like what, what says, what is more of a faith?

Yeah, but that's how you become a skeleton hoarder. What is more of faith in the evidence of things not seen than me battling like professional uncertainty in a global plague by buying a 12 foot skeleton with life eyes that I could have had on my roof this entire time? Listen, I know I'm not usually the one to promote this, but I think you got to become a skeleton thief. I'm fine with that That is the first time I heard you say that, right?

I think that's the first time that's ever been said That's definitely not Oh, not in this family Definitely not the first time Someone's proposed me Grave Robin fed this family for a long time That's basically the whole Indiana Jones backstory I think I should become a skeleton thief

But he's not But he's really about a using skeletons, right? The skeletons are forever being like thrown around, beaten up, thrown out of things in favor of the artifact, smashed, you know, left haphazardly in corners. Animated LED skeleton turtle. Don't try and get on my good side home depot. There are definitely people who have like gone to remember a loved one and they're like,

what the fuck did Indiana Jones do to this crypt? Are you kidding? Why did you slap the skeleton, Indiana? I got archaeology to disrespect bones. Fuck you, bones. Listen, I'm here for two things. Lost treasure and making sure skeletons never come back to life. Never.

I got to smash shit out of them. Think you're so tough, not having skin? The National Tree Company is selling something that is called an 84-inch inflatable animated skeleton hand. That's not no. So. But. It's not a 12-foot skeleton. We can reenact the end of cabin in the woods.

You put one in your yard. The neighbor's house puts one in their yard. It's like, the old ones return. I just smoke 12-foot skeleton. I know. I do too. I'm just trying to make myself feel better. Oh, fuck.

And we could have, we could have crowd-surfed 12-foot skeleton, not at a vandy game, obviously, but somewhere. We can. We just like, whoever's, whoever's at the end runs around to the front. Sure. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay, this one

This one's actually kind of sweet Here, I'm going to drop it in the chat You just found a sweet skeleton Well, here look Do we have any other restaurants we should hit? So, uh, there's a few more restaurants we could run through Let the record show when we logged on today.

I said, it's fine if this takes only 10 minutes And then we run through the week four schedule I don't think we're going to make it to the week No, that's fine. Um, we've already done the week five schedule. Yeah, that's true. We're good. Next week we're good.

We got this. talk about the schedule. A lot of folks write in with requests for the varsity in Atlanta, controversial on the internet. I would say if this is your first time in Atlanta, if you have lived in Atlanta for like five days, then you view the varsity as a shrine of tourism, a place you must try. If you've lived in Atlanta for, say, one to ten years, you think it is the most overrated thing in the world. I was born at Crawford Long Hospital late there when I was. varsity ones is three four five six seven eight nine whatever um it's fine it's baseball food if you've

eaten food at a baseball stadium you have tried the varsity already go there if you like if you'd like a better meal there is a waffle house two blocks away i won't go to the varsity just like for the purpose of going to the varsity but if like a crowd of people are going to the varsity i will get an orange freeze yeah it's fine the orange freeze i feel the orange freeze stands the test of time get the frosted orange get the onion rings don't touch anything else yeah it's all fine that's all and the same as a baseball stadium. But speaking of Waffle House, folks, it's time. Oh, God.

Okay. It's time for me to get the true sicko shit going. Just to start us off, I like this from Reader Major Minor. I like this is a good way to break it down, all right? Quote, I have several Waffle House orders based on hunger. Here for the Waffle Hunger, Double Chocolate Chip Waffle Drowning and Syrup. Okay, that's a cake. You're eating cake.

That's fine. No judgment here. Yeah. I could eat level hunger, grilled chicken biscuit with cheese, jalapeno, salsa, side of peppered chunk hash brown. That's a good order. The chicken breast. The chicken breast of Waffle House deeply underrated. It is a fine slab of seasoned chicken.

And of course, major minor, the hungry level hunger would be the All-Star, which, yes, been known to put away a few All-Stars in my time. I feel like the main thing people ask about is hash browns. I feel like otherwise everything's pretty easy to figure out bacon, waffles. whatever but the hash browns I go I usually go tomatoes onions peppers and there's code words for these and if you say tomatoes onion peppers the the server will say the code words back to you to confirm that's what you meant yeah don't try don't try to get out of saying the code words because you think you sound silly just do it I'm not I'm not talking to Jason I'm talking to future patrons it'll be said whether you say it or they say it yeah um hash browns for me

at Waffle House comprise my entire meal I order a size of hash browns depending on my own level of hunger. I have known to occasionally been steal a bite of a waffle, but I am an onions cheese, an onions cheese, tomatoes, jalapenos. I had to remember what the actual, not what the non-coats words were. I have an onions cheese, tomatoes, jalapenos with lots of hot sauce hash browns, human, and you can get them in a single or a double or a triple order if you're in, like at a percocet level of hangover. And it's either that or it's a waffle for me. I'm not an interesting Waffle House person.

I really appreciate Waffle House because they will listen to the order. They actually do that. Like it's not like a breakfast place that usually slaps cheese on something because like my crossed bear whenever I go to a restaurant is that it's coming with cheese. I'm just going to have to take it back. Like whatever it is, right? This is why we get along at the crystal breakfast because they will order. your breakfast sandwiches. This is how we came to like find the crystal breakfast as like our divine center, right?

Because Crystal will give you breakfast without cheese and it will give me breakfast without egg. And then we can continue upon our trip. Right. But like if I order like, like you could just say I would like a lettuce sandwich and they will put melted cheese on it at any other restaurant. Okay. Some people might call that an advantage. Yeah.

Some people are just like, sure, you want cheese on that fruit, right? Yeah. Here. I don't understand the cheese on chicken thing. I don't understand any of it, obviously. The thing about Waffle House, your order will be correct and cheeseless unless you request it, but the price will be random. You can order the same thing at Waffles every single time. The number will fluctuate.

It's like Biscuitons. It's just Bitcoin. That's all it is. Yeah. Waffle has crypto. Yeah. But a little known fact, and most people just. Scattered, smothered crypto.

They will make a breakfast sandwich for you. They'll make whatever breakfast sandwich you want, all right? On toast. It is delicious. Highly recommended. They enjoy this. sandwich? Yeah, no, they're fine with it. They will actually listen to the whole order. Okay. And they will be nice. Be nice because they can fight. Be nice. Every one of those cooks can fight. I'm saying they enjoy this in terms of they like being creative. They enjoy the chance to make, you give them a little, little friendly challenge. They will deliver. Yeah. Oh, no, I was just saying that, you know, Spencer is saying, you know, like, really, they will do anything you ask them to. And I wanted to append to this that you need to be nice to them while you're asking them for your custom breakfast sandwich. Because I've met some of you people. That was a joke on the internet about applying to Waffle House that people backed up this truth, saying, saying, hey, you know, ha ha, you got to be able to fight if you work at Waffle House.

And then under the mentions, like, 15 people who were like, no, really, the manager asked me if I had hands. The manager asked me if I could fight. The only thing I'm going to add to the Waffle House discussion, this is based on the lived experience of a coworker who shall remain nameless. Why? Why? Do not order the cheese steak melt hash brown bowl. I'm pretty sure we've talked about this on the show when it happens. I'm pretty sure this person has talked about this on the show. I,

out of respect of this person's privacy, I will not identify them. We will go on this person's podcast and ask if we can reveal it on ours. It was who's never been particularly helpful or nice to me, so. We'll go on your podcast and we'll talk about your cheesecake milk coach. I'm gonna get emails No I'm it went like the Mongol whore Through my intestines

Doesn't care about college football A storm in the south Little Waffle House He'd be so confused Oh Jesus Christ Let's hit about yeah He would be like Oh this Duncan's fucking weird

Is anyone ever eaten here? All-Star The Atlanta Hawks don't have any All-Star No one's ever heard of them Wawa I've never been to Wawa Because there's black people in there I've never

I've never been to Wawa It's one of Pennsylvania's many gas stations That they're very proud of I understand this right Yeah they pretended sheets It's not they make sandwiches The recommendation Sorry about it

Reader Shane McNichol is Breakfast Bacon egg and cheese hoagie with a coffee For a first timer Wawa veteran get a sizzle And call it a day Many people recommend the sizzle No clue what that is

You gotta try it lunch dinner breaded chicken hoagie good grief loaded up your preferred way holy cow chips in a peach ice tea every step of this is like whoa wait a second dinner i like that where chicago food is trying to kill the customer this food is like all right you have to be ready at all times to be stuffed into a shipping container against your will and so you have to have the food based build up to survive for three maybe seven days food base what a concept your life meter needs to extend i think if you eat three hoagies in a day you just become gritty i want to remind i want to remind you so there i was my breakfast hoagie this is the this is this is the chain

organic orange fur makes it sound like that food is extruding itself through your pores because you've eaten too much to poop it out then i did i just it comes out like the plato spaghetti machine through all the holes in your skin that i just became gritty it's important to remember that this is the same chain that said yes we will make a mayor of east town hoagy that's a thing they did oh the popular murder the sad murder those yes we're going to capitalize on pop culture what yes where mcdonald's is like oh you know we're going to take like pop stars and rap stars or whatever, but Wawa was like,

yep, let's do the Mary of East Town thing. People are talking about us. To be clear, Kate Winslet was not involved with this. It's just them standing around talking about the Marebeestown Hokey. I'm not making this up. What is on it? Hold on.

All right. Wait, isn't this the show where like the murderer of the bullied teen turned out to have basically been society? Because that kind of tracks. I didn't watch it. All right, here it is. Here we go.

Anyone? The sandwich will be served on a six-inch shorty roll with beefsteak, cheddar cheese sauce, and spicy cherry pepper relish. Quote, as a nod to how spicy the show is. Bad news. They were only available from June 10th to June 17th. Although this is like amazingly easy to read. It's three ingredients, guys. I'm pretty sure we can make this fucking work.

Come by for breakfast and we'll get you a scoogle scrangler scrambled. he's delicious it's named an honor of the scogle strangler who killed people go birds come on down

for the BTK BLT no it's the scogle strangler sizzly sizzly with them yeah it's right there yeah

let's it what a burger yet another regional burger chain that is fine no one has any stronger opinions about that

I do I think it's out I think it's out I think it's outstanding. It's fine. I think it's pretty good. What a burger's wonderful. And their breakfast, their breakfast are a monster. They're fantastic.

Lots of readers wrote in to recommend their breakfast. The ranchero eggs. The other recommendations included the chop house cheddar, the honey barbecue chicken strip sandwich. There are things there besides burgers. This was kind of news to me. What a burger seems to be the best, the best place to bring, like, eight people who can't agree what fast food they want.

Like, what a burger is sort of like, all right, we, will give you, like, a B-plus of whatever you want. They've also got an alligator sausage hot dog that's named for the butcher of Elmendorf. But you can't prove they don't. I can't. It's true. And finally on the list, but possibly the fast food place we've talked about the most other than Popeyes would be Zach's. We're not a fan, but that's okay.

No, no, sorry. In my opinion, I got to swerve, but my opinion on this is well known. You can get a drive-through salad there. Most of my fast food opinions are based on the years in which I had to travel four days a week for work. And there's only so much sodium you can ingest. I think Zaxby's has a remarkably edible drive-thru salad, which is a place that pretty much no other spot in the country can boast. Don't yell at me about Chick-fil-A. It's not the same.

I agree with Holly there. If you're reading at Zaxby's get one of the big asses. salads. It's one of the few salads that deserves the title of Big As. I can't fully participate in this discourse either because I'm not a chicken fingers person. So like I can't I can't speak to the sodiumness or nastiness of the chicken fingers. Their chicken fingers are fine. They're nothing special at all. The salad I will say the salad is is is good for fast food salad certainly. Yes. And finally Applebee's reader Michael Murray writes in to say Applebee's specifically on a date night get that bourbon street shake with that Oreo shake. girl i got you michael you're fired get the fuck out of here michael i i hate it now