Shutdown Fullcast - Talk about the Bucks, and also Barry Switzer running the wishbone on the Gauls

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

--We TALK ABOUT THE BUCKS. (Because we have to.) --The super-cursed excellent life of Justin Fields --The playoff rankings are still scared of Coastal Carolina --Army/Navy is happening in a regular weekend, world is ending --LSU is the problem that never gets fixed --"I watched them take my team apart like a cheap chicken" --What ancient empire built a wall around its recruiting territory? --How Barry Switzer was obviously Julius Caesar in a former life  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I just feel like we are surrounded in this world by bullshit. So how can you know what's real and what's not? Science versus, that's how. We answer questions like, does anti-aging skin care actually work? And what is your true personality type? And to answer these questions, we don't use opinions. We dive into the scientific studies,

talk to the experts, and put it in a podcast that I know you are going to love. Listen to science verses on Spotify. Welcome to the shutdown to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. Tonight, it's host only. Got a couple people on the DL, got a couple of people with some entire vocal cords and some uncooperative sinuses. And if my tongue does not fail me again, we should be able to get through this with but two. That is your host, Spencer Hall.

Hi, that's me. And on the other end of this here microphone and headset, I got Jason Kirk and beautiful Kennesaw, Georgia. Say hello, Jason. Hey, what's happening? I'm here on the Internet's only college football podcast. to discuss the Internet's only college football team. That would be the Ohio State Buckeyes, the only team that matters each and every year.

Somehow, through it all. They've only played, I think, like, one and a half games, roughly. But still, hell or high water. They have managed to be the focal point of all conversation, all discussion, as always, has gotten into it. At last, at last, Ohio State's dream comes true. Not only do we have to talk about them, we have to talk about them as the center of the universe for going five and oh

five and oh over the course of a of a season who's done that before except like i don't know northwestern that's you know that's that's how good they are folks they've they're almost as good and consistent as northwestern was a couple of weeks ago buddy they've beaten rutgers They have beaten Nebraska. They've beaten the worst Penn State team ever. They've beaten Michigan State. They didn't play Indiana. No one saw that happen.

Murder is Roe. If we're going to talk about the bugs, they beat Michigan State. A Michigan State team that lost to Rutgers. And they also beat Rutgers. They beat both ends of the Michigan State Rutgers rivalry. They beat both notable teams in the Rutgers, Michigan State game. Yeah, so the current hollering in the sport, as always, it's about Ohio State, it is about whether the thing we've been talking about on the show for a month, we always seem to find the really stupid storyline that we know will be a thing. And yeah, will the Big Ten mess with its rules, which it has already messed with by canceling its season and then uncancelling its season, will it further mess with meth?

what's up Midwest I think messing with the rules is letting Indiana play in the title game which should happen which should happen by the way because they've played enough games I was rolling yeah they won they've qualified and two I was rolling through all of those wins

mockingly that Ohio State piled up all five of them bow bow down to five weird Ohio State and I was rolling through them and I was going to go, they beat Indiana. And I was like, but wait, that's actually really good. Yeah, Indiana's pretty good. You can't dwell on that.

But I mean, Indiana beat Michigan. Ohio State was scared to play Michigan. That's, hey, hey, hey, fella. As I put on my acid wash jeans and belt them with a jersey and a leather, like a custom leather Ohio State jacket that I wear, walk up in my new balances. Hey, pal. That's enough for that.

I put on my hoodie and bike shorts. The hoodie and bike shorts is a provocative Ohio State combo. If it came up to be an actual, an actual like spandex bike shorts and an Ohio State jersey, I would assume I was going to have to call the police. I want like every Ohio State fan dressed up like 1982 weightlifter, or even better, like 1982 college wrestler. Like we need big, puffy sweatshirt.

bike shorts and the headgear and sneakers with high top socks wearing a trash bag because you just came out of uh you just came out of the sauna where you're dropping some weight you got to make weight i don't even have a match i haven't wrestled for 18 years it's just have it i just got to make weight for september and the making weight is like this means you went to windies in the trash bag right like i'm i've got a pile on good weight and get rid of the bad weight This is how I'm going to do it. I'm just a furnace for the bad weight. I just sweat out the bad weight with water,

and I put in the good weight with this Wendy's grease. It's a system. I'm just floating in this garbage bag of my own sweat. That's how a coach said I have to. You wanted us to talk about you. We're talking about you, Ohio State. It's glorious. I feel so bad, by the way, for Justin Fields.

Justin Fields has the most cursed college career of anyone who could be considered a success. there are cursed college careers where, you know, you're Josh Rosen, right, who has the dual honor of having a cursed collegiate and cursed pro career because he got yanked around in both spots. Justin Fields is a very successful quarterback, but he is also cursed because he gets a five-star offer out of college, out of high school for college. That's great. Who gave him that? He goes to Georgia. We're all sad at Georgia. Nobody can compete with me. No, it's Jake Fromm.

They'd rather take the guy who always takes the four-yard check down than me, and they don't have to teach anyone at that school how to run a hybrid offense. So I'm out. I got a transfer. Okay, that's kind of bad. Then I go to Ohio State, and I get a shot, a legit shot, where I get to run all the way through a fairly weak Big Ten schedule and get to the playoff looking spectacular, looking so fly.

And then what happens? Bam! face i face clemson in the game of the year last year the most physical game i watched all year long and you lose by you barely you lose you lose by the way like i didn't come away from that game thinking clemson was the better team i just thought well they got the last possession that's and the and the anti-buckeye refs and ESPN and the uh and q said that the anti-buckeye refs and But yeah, Justin feels like everyone just unanimously agrees, one of the, you know, two, three, four, five best players in all the college football for two years in a row. And he's going to get, and he comes back and he's like, oh, got a big swing.

This is my year. This is my year. What could possibly go wrong to interfere with the skyward trajectory of Justin Fields towards every possible postseason award plotted and championship. and title imaginable a plague a pandemic that's what stopped justin fields from having one of the most impressive years in ohio state history because he would have mowed down the rest of the defenses in this schedule and what stands between him and all that after transferring after running into a completely random bit of excellence in the form of a clemson team which was probably as good just equally and maybe we have one bad or one or two bad calls and then he gets he gets a season shortened by

COVID there's a lot of tragedies associated with COVID that obviously eclips this by a factor of a billion all right it's just worth noting that when you go who's had a successful but very frustrated at roundabout collegiate career that only got weirder and more frustrated in the final year it's Justin Fields sorry man yeah I wish I wish it had been a easier. I do. I really wish it. I wish that for most everyone, but yeah, Justin Fields included. I think if you enroll at Georgia, you know what you're in for, you know, like, not if you're Jake Fromm. Jake Fromm enrolled in Georgia and he's like, easy street, baby, these people going to love me. My name's Jake and I hunt. Here's a four yard check down. I'm a God. He enrolled

because what is he going to do with a spare time? Boat. Get in, get in, get in lake injuries, right? Golf. Jake Fromm likes to do. Listen, he liked boats, he liked golfing, and he liked hunting. What man more Georgia? That's the whole sentence. What man more Georgia? No man more Georgia. I mean, so basically high school quarterbacks, if your goal is to in national titles, well, there's two schools you can go to.

If your goal is to get lake injuries, you go to Georgia. If your goal is to rank either number four or number five, Ohio State. It's pretty simple. Speaking of rankings, Ohio State is the center of controversy because the Big Ten has to decide whether to let them play in the title game or not, which means getting to play either a number 14 Northwestern or a number 16, Iowa. Massive difference there, whether they get to play, you know, a team two spots above the other will completely decide the course of the universe. But, Spencer, these rankings are bullshit. I mean, you know, that's not a new take, but... No, and I have not seen them.

I came in, open the notes. I've been like doing domestic stuff, putting kids to bed, you know, washing kids, washing kids in bed, putting the bed in the shower and feeding them while in the bed in the shower, getting them ready. Multitasking. And I have not had time to look at these rankings. So I will be reacting with fresh shock and awe to these. So, Coastal Carolina, our beloved beach chickens, are rowdy boys from Greater Myrtle. 7 and 0 against the Sunbelt, 1 and 0 against the Big 12, all right?

Yep, yep. Iowa State, 0 in 1 against the Sunbelt, and they have also lost within the Big 12. How many spots would you guess separate Iowa State and Coastal Carolina in the playoff rankings? I'm going to go six. that's right you have your you have uh actually let's see one two yeah all right it's so it does work just like uh subtraction but yeah six spots iowa state moved up which that's

fine they destroyed a okay west virginia team uh they jumped the undefeated cincinnati bear cats that part's not okay uh coast carolina moves up for beating b yu that's great but the disparity between these teams it's crazy iowa state has lost two games including including one to a team that Coast Carolina beat. Georgia has, hey, it's Georgia, it's you again. They have lost two games, neither of them competitive, both against top six teams. Okay, that's cool, that's good. Compare that to Indiana, which only, it's you again, only lost one game to a top six team.

And it was competitive. Georgia ranks three spots ahead of Indiana. What, what, excuse me, why? No one knows, Georgia's number nine. based on, their best win is five and four, Auburn. Their second best win might be against Mississippi State's backups. And it wasn't, you know, that was a lot closer than it should have been. So, like, what we're staring at here, the New Year's Six situation,

we're basically this year, team's going to need to rank in the top 12 to make the spot, to, you know, to make the cut for an actual really good bowl game, our beloved Hoosiers and our beloved Chanticleers, shanticleers. The Shants, the Shants, baby. The shame declares. I'm going to call it the dirty shantz. The dirty chance. They're both right on the cusp, number 12 and number 13.

We don't want to have to pick either of these teams. We don't have to choose between our beloved children. Get Georgia out of here and let them both in. Make everyone. I always think, man, coastal needs to get in because America needs another team that can take the bulk of the population and win their loyalty. And by that, I mean the bulk of the population who didn't go to college. I don't want you all worrying about people who are going to call you on that.

I don't want you someone going, well, did you go there? So I used to do that. You know what that is? Rank snobbery. You should be able to like any team in the world that you want. All right, any team, except for the Italian men's national soccer team. That's a heresy and a sin, and it means you hate all things good, and dislike art, beauty, and the concept of truth. But other than that, I'm in favor of you rooting for whoever you want.

And I think it's important to have a team that people can just pick. pick up because they're like, hey, you know what, I want a team that's basically the equivalent of popping a cold one and crushing it on my head. Guess who that is? Coastal Carolina, all right? Do you know who's not going to give you shit about not going to Coastal Carolina? Somebody who's rooting for Coastal Carolina. They'll be like, hey, I like both of those things, coastal and Carolina. That sounds dope as hell. That's awesome. Not so big on, not so big on university, though. Did I say that part? No, we're branded them, baby.

Who do you root for? Coastal Carolina. Do you want those windless, stagnant inland parts of the state? Do you want those exhausting cardio-heavy mountains? Hell no. We don't want any of that. I want all that flat stuff. So I can just coast to the ocean and back.

That's what I want. That's why they call it Coastal Carolina, because you can just coast on in, baby, and root for this team. That's right. That's right. So, I mean, we fixed the rankings. Just get Georgia out of here, bump everybody else up, and then everyone is happy. Yeah, that's really the only, that's the story.

We have the top 20 raging Cajuns. That's bizarre. Let's hang on to that. Colorado and USC, this is also fun, both undefeated, yet in the same division in the Pac-12. Therefore, they're just going to pick a winner. Yeah. I love that.

I love that, by the way. The Pac-12, at every point this season, the Pac-12, the Pac- 12 has chosen nonsense. That's been their only choice, to be fair, but they haven't even pretended to make sense. The Big 10, they've relied on principle and trying to do things right. The Pack 12, they haven't even had a head. They've just been a headless chicken running from one option to another randomly. Larry's like, they've done nothing coherent. So if they came out and they said, by the way, our champion, despite having an undefeated Colorado, is winless Arizona State, I would say yes, that is your champion.

The Pac-12 has chosen correctly and accordingly with everything you've done. Everyone else has tried to choose some kind of protocol, some kind of order, some kind of like basically semi-sensical-sounding way of doing things. Hell with that, man. Pac-12 is just like, we don't know either, man. Here, someone's step. You want to go? Yeah, you can go.

Washington State. Come on down. I feel like the Larry Scott's looking up like we have two good teams what the hell how the fuck does that happen I think he's looking up like Colorado has a football team when did they know where's that I'm sorry I follow mostly tennis that's my sport so speaking of just making shit up on the fly can't open note Ohio State number four could really stand to shore up that number four ranking, hold off everyone else. Meanwhile, number five, Texas A&M, they were supposed to play Ole Miss.

They could use a chance to play right into that number four spot. Go take it from the Buckeyes. So we could set something up here, and I've seen some of the discourse. Couldn't help but note that midpoint between College Station, Texas, Columbus, Ohio, is, of course, the Liberty Bowl in Memphis. I've seen a few people recommend. that we just go ahead have ourselves a quarterfinal in Memphis. Let's just fight.

Let's go fight in Memphis. What better place to go, hey, you just bark your car there? We'll get out. We'll set a list on the riverbank. We'll both walk away, respect each other's masculinity, get on out of here, having resolved our differences through the art of fist of cuffsmanship. I guess they could go play it in Ann Arbor.

A football game. Harvard. Yeah. That's, oh, you know where that leads, though. They'll watch them play, and they'll go, hmm, say an M team. They're not flashy, but man, they're really getting it done. That's a big offensive line. Oh, that defense, they're kind of playing all over the place.

I don't know. I kind of like the cut of this guy's gym. What's, say, say, what's this? Oh, Jimbo Fisher. I'll have to look at him. A man with two first names. Hmm, where's he from? West Virginia? You know who else was from West Virginia?

Fielding Yost! Everyone in the background goes, Fielding Yost, because that's what you do when you say Fielding Yost. Everybody has to say it together, Michigan. It's like Randolph Scott in Blazing Saddles. You have to sing it in unison and praise. That's what they'll do. They'll go, oh, I mean, we're in the market, and you know what Jimbo will do? Hey, listen, y'all, I'll do it for $85 million guaranteed.

$85 million in cash, guaranteed. 10 years. And you got to buy me out at A&M. It's only 40 mil. Because Michigan's got more money than God. And they'll go, he's fielding Yost 2.0. Let's do it, y'all. To know Stephen Ross for $150 million.

So I think they take one look at Jimbo style of football. And this guy's boring as hell. They got to get him in here. Right. We've tried exciting. That hasn't, that didn't work. Yeah. This is as far from a rich rod excitement as you can get.

but they also look at that first name, right? And they say, we like the idea of Jim. Jim was here, and Jim was okay for a few years. We were tired of Jim. You know who we really liked was Bo. We liked Bo. Bo was the guy. Jim needs to be more like Bo.

We need a Jimbo. Wow. You see, you see the vision? Michigan go get a Jimbo. You know, there's one problem with this whole plan. Jimbo Fisher has won a game in the Rose Bowl. um yeah it's going to be it's going to be problematic he's the only beau to have ever done that yeah i just like i love the idea that beaum beckler went to the rose bowl every year

and was just like i can't think there's too much sun oh it feels good here yeah it's so comfortable make you weak it's just so much golf yuck it smells good mountains eucalyptus what is that that's some kind of sea creature no

yeah the idea that bo-shambeckler lost all of those rose bowls because California was too hospitable, pretty and nice I'm 100% buying into that theory A&M

what were they again in the rankings? Yeah. They're five still. Wow, man. They looked good against Auburn, didn't they? They looked really, really impressive, like the fifth best team in football, would you say? They look like the fifth best team in the SEC, yeah.

And I think in 2020, that's fine because if you look like the fifth best team in the SEC, that probably makes you the most consistent team in the conference. Like every week I can look at A&M and go Yeah you'll probably win Not like Oh you're really well put together That team's going to smoke

They're just going to destroy whatever is in front of them No But you know Fourth quarter rolls around and you're like Kickers in position Other team's not doing anything We've ground this game down to a fine halt Well done Aggies

I feel bad because like I don't want to pick on A&M They didn't ask for this ranking, you know. And like if they had a more realistic record, like a six and two or something like that, you know, it'd probably be like, actually, you know, who's really good is A&M. Like, but because of the magic line under the number four, we're forced to say, eh, you know. This is a, by the way, this is a way better option than if they'd actually been ranked for. Because, you know, we'd be saying then, we'd be like, God, they're absolute trash. What would we do if Ohio State had lost a game?

and the Aggies were stuck at four for weeks and weeks, just staring down the barrel of Alabama. It just be, man, that's just, you're like, that's, this is my safety school. God, they're hanging up four. And if nobody else sends me a letter, I'm going to have to go there. I'm not saying,

I'm not saying the fine top 25 public research university, Texas A&M is bad school. It's at least as good, if not better, than the one I attended. So it's fine. I mean, it is one spot ahead in the only rankings that matter so that's true it's true um so one very very fun subplot is gary barda iowa athletic director is also the chair of the playoff committee the person who has to go on ESPN and answer questions

from reese davis each week explaining these things which for years has basically just amounted to they are what they are um he has at the same time the tasks of overseeing the group that ranks Ohio State number four each week, meaning it's in line for a playoff spot. Also, he's part of the group deciding whether Ohio State gets to play Northwestern in the conference title game or Iowa in the third place game, which means Gary Barta, his his incentives here, right? At the Big Ten, obviously, you won a team in the playoff, athletic director of Iowa. you'd rather not play Ohio State right it went great that one time but I think they see you

come in this time so let's let's not push our luck here Hawkeyes it's just funny that one in a sport this stupid one person is wearing two hats that that that conflict in this way great job just great job everyone just really a simple puzzle I was going to say and listen whatever conflict and whoever Gary Barta owes things to I'm going to go ahead and let you know Gary Barta is going to pay off. He'll pay. Gary Barta will get you paid

because if you're on Team Barta, you're going to get that check. Gary Barta is the one who keeps writing massive checks to Kirk Farrantz. And we did that no matter what was actually happening with the Iowa football team. Just kept writing them.

Kept getting them, man. So if you want to talk, and by the way, if you're an Iowa fan, And he's going to go, hey, I'm going to defend Gary Barton. Don't. Don't. He doesn't need it.

Yeah, he's fine. He gets paid millions of dollars, right, cumulatively to do this. He's good. He also has this weird sinecure of a job where he gets to decide what a good football team is, which in his position as Iowa Athletic Director, I might slightly question his judgment on that. The other really fun thing about conferences being able to fiddle with their title games is the ACC has two teams in the top three. If they play each other, Notre Dame might win, in which case Clemson will miss the playoff, costing the ACC, I would say, it's best shot at a national title.

If Clemson beats Notre Dame badly and makes the first game look like a fluke, it's possible Notre Dame could miss the playoff. us, again, costing the ACC a spot, putting someone else in, you know, making it so you don't have a guaranteed ACC team in the championship. ACC, is it really worth fulfilling your contractual obligations to the Dr. Pepper Scholarship Toss in Bank of America Stadium or wherever you have that thing now in order to risk getting two teams into the playoffs, two teams in the top three? If they're going to play each other anyway, cancel the ACC title game and make it be the semifinal. This seems

extremely obvious to me. Who needs a conference title game? We didn't have them until 1992. The ACC didn't have one until 2005 or whatever. Right? Just get rid of it. I do enjoy this turn toward traditionalism

because the ultimate turn toward traditionalism is what a lot of Ohio State fans just going to argue for anyway, which is this. We used to just vote it. We used to vote this before the bowl games. would say, oh, yeah, there's the national champion. Now go play an exhibition. That's what we used to do, and they used to just do it ignorantly.

Just like, what'd you do? Well, I don't know, I went and sent some telegrams from the three games that I saw Notre Dame play. They must be the greatest team in the world. I saw them beat Michigan State, 9-6. Incredible. Meanwhile, there's probably much better teams out there that never even got the kind of attention they needed

in order to go out and rec shop and win national titles because they were playing in a very, very narrow, isolated media environment. Yeah, we're just going to do that again. We're just going to... I like how everybody is suddenly, like, shed their modern skins, just peeled it off their face, and now we're all Grantlin Rice again, right?

Lo, I have observed teams, and in their five victories, the Ohio State Buckeyes have proved that there are the cat's pajamas. in their conquest over Rutgers, which invented football. Over the Heartland Boys from Indiana, coached by Tom Allen, the preacher's son. I don't know if Tom Allen's actually a preacher's son. That just sounds like some sort of stupid or positive

that they would attach to him, right? Some claws to describe him, right? The preacher's son, the riverboat gambler, the prairie man himself. Tom Allen might be a time traveler. If you get a good look at him, like that, he might be from. the 1940s

Tom Allen might be from like the 20s I could see that could you see Tom Allen being like yeah that Revenuer don't miss with him he's killed eight bootleggers this week so yeah I think that's it I think that's for it for rankings talk

NC State is ranked we got to get out of here bail oh man close that tab God that'd be if we could just vote on that y'all I mean seriously we could do it the wolf pack rampage down from the mountains we could just we could just go ahead and decide that was going to happen right you know i traded my vote for some bathtub gin could do you think you could confidently

name three teams nc state is beaten they have beaten eight teams they've beaten they've beaten eight teams yeah by the way um can't like how how long has the acc been playing football this year Yeah. They're ACC, if you told me, if you go, hey, listen, did you know that Syracuse is 24 and 38? I'd be like, yeah. Yeah, that's, that's crazy. Yeah, Inslee's somehow got in basically a full season. So did, Syracuse is one in 10?

Syracuse played 11 games. Why? Have you been playing midnight snack games in the middle of the week while we weren't looking? Have you scheduled like, did you play Galatasarai? Did you go down and play like Bimbo FC out of La Liga? is that is that what happened because i like did you play other sports is what i'm asking because again we're rolling this back you look at old schedules and you see like nc state versus woodward men's academy you're like or or just like a town like they played tilden what was tilden

they're like yeah it was a squad team from like tilden georgia oh okay yeah i think i think i think NC state's patent schedule here i know they be i know did you take a tour through canada hmm did you play the red blacks is that a thing that happened did you refer to them in all caps because the red blacks actually make you write out red blacks when you write about oh yeah yeah yeah the the thing that i i know they beat syracuse and i know that nc state um god they be wake my right on that that's that's usually a good guess and yes correct yeah no i mean i remember those two distinctly believe it or not i do remember those two uh everything else is just a cookout scented blur yep uh i will i will preserve the mystery for you i will refuse to reveal thank you

i don't think if you're like wow i really wish i'd listen to this podcast and figure it out who nc state beat that's what the internet's for we don't have to talk about that no one needs to know also by the way in the playoff rankings good luck y'all because barry alvarez is going to be out here barry alvarez is going to be shaking them trees bear alvarez is going to be calling people wheel and dealing barry alvarez is going to buy some omaha stakes for some people he's going to be out here just selling the hell out of the big ten to get two and two wisconsin into something yeah yeah uh there is one of my favorite spectacles coming up this week It is, I believe, an underrated rivalry that the quality thereof doesn't really vary.

I like it because this rivalry game seems attached from the rest of reality. The two teams coming in could have opposite records. One could be nine and one. The other one could be one and nine. And the records truly do reset. And I believe the results of this game over the years completely validate this, particularly when it comes to one Arizona State coming in with a good record. Yeah, that's the Territorial Cup.

Is it more intense than everyone knows? Hell, yes, it is. Especially in Tucson. The stands get weird. Get really weird. A couple of years ago when Iowa played there, man, you know who doesn't get along with Arizona fans? Iowa fans. These are people who have nothing in common.

It is on a Friday and it is in mid-December at this point coming up on mid-December. Oh, those Arizona Decemors. If I sold you on Herm, a very confused Herm Edwards. We must be in the playoffs. I'm not saying that because he's old.

I'm saying that because it's Herm Edwards coaching in the middle of a pandemic with a team that I believe has played five games. Arizona has played four They are 0 and 4 Arizona State has played two games They are 0 and 2

If Arizona loses This will be their first Winless season ever ASU has pulled off far worse before So no worries for our Sun Devils If they merely go 0 and 3 They've been through much worse than that A desperate game between two fan bases

That actually genuinely despise each other and some of the strangest settings in college football with absolutely nothing to lose and nothing to win that's perfection that is absolute perfection y'all it is really bizarre to still be having rivalry weekend like the whole sport pivots around thanksgiving right when we have in some years we have ohio state playing michigan you know we had the iron ball egg bowl but like this shit is just scattered all over the place and now it's happening during army navy Army Navy is happening in a regular weekend, which I like that because we will, the, the television viewer at home choosing between games will be, we'll quickly discover how much they actually like watching Army Navy when it turns out they have other options. Well, no pun intended, of course, because all the options are in that place.

But, yeah, everything's still a big mess. So let's see, what's going on during actual, like, I was going to say actual sentence, an 0-2 Arizona State. enters this game trying to get its first win in December to go to one and two with coach Herm Edwards oh man competing to keep competing against Army Navy is uh actually yeah just watch Army Navy you'll be fine no worries just watch Army Navy okay the game that the game that the game that four years ago the president-elect attended and said You know, it's really not the best football. That's what do you do?

This is going to be heat. He showed up. Everyone's like, he immediately goes to the booth. He's like, this ain't shit. Yeah, soldiers. Soldiers suck at sports. They're not their thing.

You're not the biggest or the strongest. Um, you know what? I think it's time for a little bit of business. Oh, indeed. Yeah, a little bit of podcast business. Podcast business. What's a business?

Podcast business. It's a business in the desert. Arizona fraud. I don't know what Arizona fraud is other than my new line of men's clothing. Arizona fraud. Jay, let's pay some bills so we can commit some Arizona fraud. If you would like to accumulate financial gains, without Arizona fraud.

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So this week, I think I'm going to put a little money down. I think I'm going to plant some seeds. See if we can get a tree, get some acorns. Shake them out. You can get started in just under five minutes. You can set the kids up with the savings account, acorns early, you can set up retirement. you can get you a heavy metal debit card

it's got all sorts of all sorts of fixings to it or you can just go with a trillion dollar plan acorns.com slash fullcast that's that's beautiful man that's absolutely beautiful we got a couple other things while we're doing some plugs here I would like to go ahead and plug again thinking out loud the television show

or as I call it a Zoom call on TV because it's a pandemic and we're all in different studios. We have two shows left on our beautiful tour this fall. That is Mondays at 7 p.m. Eastern on the SEC Network. Myself, fellow moon crew member, Richard Johnson, Georgia great, Brandon Boykin, and Alyssa Lang, who's just man like impressive as hell.

You see the person who is running the show and also providing commentary and putting everything together. There's pretty much like two people in the best. business. There's like Alyssa Lang and Ernie Johnson. That's it. And I will tell you this. You know, Ernie Johnson, sure, he's got to put up with Shaq. Alyssa's got to put up with me. So just weigh those two things together. I think she's got as difficult to challenge. But does it both times? Go ahead. If you're a Nielsen household, let me know. I'll bribe you with a muffin. I will mail you a muffin. I'll put it in the United States Postal Service.

if you'll do that hit record series you don't even have to watch it you should watch it i didn't say that i'm trying to picture you and shack like a host trying to wrangle you and shack at the same time i know what to do with shack which is just let him like literally let him throw you around i would just do the jackass thing you know how like shack used to jump on weeman's back in jackass

even though we man was like three feet tall um i would just do that I would just attack him because Shaq would be like, Ha ha, physically superior. Yeah. You just throw me around. I've met Chuck. And Chuck is a lot. Chuck's cool as hell.

But Chuck is literally like a huge toddler. Like you kind of have to pull him out of things. You have to say, please, that's, don't put your finger in that socket, Chuck. I want to put my finger in the socket. And then you kind of want to let him, right, when he says it? Yeah. Yeah. and he'll look to like the authority figures in the room like the PR people who are there to

observe you and go hey I'm going to put my finger in this light socket over here you're all going to stop me or not huh I guess you don't love me let me do this but does he hit you with the conflict but like but if but if you did love me you'd let me do what I want to do yeah I'm just kidding I'm not going to put my finger in the light socket I might though and then he'll just do the show um other things to plug besides thinking out loud on the SCC Network 7 p.m. Easter. Mondays. A couple of other things. I did a great, I did a great podcast with Bomani because Bomani only does great podcast. And that's obviously why he had me on. We talked about Diego Armando Maradona. That's on the right time available on all of your

Spotify's. It was great. I'm just plugged it because I just thought it was cool. We got to talk about Diego Armando Maradona and like a truly Titanic sports field. with an equally titanic cocaine problem in other words my favorite things all combined into one story um and then finally uh she is off tonight due to a shot voice but holly's been working on a very cool project that she wanted to plug which is ground game georgia that's out at ground game pod on twitter if you want to follow along the website is groundgame pod.com it is It is the podcast devoted to compelling first-person stories from inside on-the-ground organizations here in this Georgia Senate runoff. Case you didn't know, the road to American democracy runs right down I-75.

It's going to stop the King Frog outlet in Val Doste. It's going to go through the Reading Capitol of Tifton, Georgia. It's going to make a stop by the Warner Robbins Air Museum. They got a buckies. They got a buckies, Warner Robbins. they do they do they got a buckies now so democracy probably going to get some beaver nuggets maybe a little pick me up some coffee and a chopped beef barbecue sandwich little brisket on the pick up a deer stand and a pork sandwich and let's see we need some some overalls and democracy's

going to spend way too much money at a gas station is what we're saying which is I think the essence of democracy itself ground game podcast is Holly Anderson and Marcus Ellsworth, both superb people with incredible podcast voices, if they are listening to this. I've listened to the first episode already. It is compelling and focuses on the people who are really trying to turn the tide, electorally speaking, and change the way we do things here in Georgia. You won't hear that anywhere else. So go listen to it. Ground Game Pod, Ground Game, Georgia, an amazing collection of stories. You got anything else, Jason, before we move on with the rest of the show?

Let me go ahead, plug a pod as well, the Vacation Bible School podcast with myself and my wife, Emily, who once burned down an apartment building because she wanted to heat McDonald's at 2 a.m. We are taking a break from our journey through the Hebrew Bible. We're going to do New Testament, a little bit of New Testament. We're going to get a little Jesus. We're going to do a Christmas episode. It'd be up around at some point after this one. but yeah you know anybody who's been hesitant to dive into the old stuff we're going to we're going to talk about the beautiful baby so yeah also homefield apparel the shirt company with the world's most comfortable and snugly collegiate apparel also moon crew and moon crew

adjacent apparel available on the website homefield apparel.com an important note from our friends at home field on the holiday season. COVID-19 has brought supply chain disruptions and increased online shopping, which means overwhelm shipping services. In order to ensure a timely delivery, we recommend that you place your order as soon as possible. If you're hoping to receive your items on or before December 24th, please place your order no later than December 10th. This episode is posting on December 9th, So that means go ahead and hustle to get your North Dakota State and Wofford and Colorado School of Mines. Oh, man, I got to put a huge order in tomorrow. Like, I'm thinking I got to buy like, I'm pretty much going to do that for everybody I can't get to.

It's just send them some like home field gear. That means up to and including sending my mom the Zapp shirt for. I'm sorry, the Zot shirt. Zot! Zot! Zot! Zot! Zat! Zat! Zat! Zat! I'll have to send him that because I believe that's UC Santa Cruz? Is that... No, I got it wrong! The one's the A-Eaters and ones the banana slugs. Yeah, no, UC Santa, I will get this correct.

But yeah, I need to send it like a ton of home field gear to people. So I got to do it tomorrow, y'all. You should do the same. We got a promo code for the good people at Homefield who are currently not sleeping and surviving on candy gifted to them by no escalators. promo code full cast. If you have not yet placed an order,

which I assume most of you have. But if you have not, it is time to go hard for Christmas. You see Santa Cruz? You see Santa Barbara? More like you see Santa. Because it's you. You're Santa. You're the one dropping off the big bag of sweatshirts.

Yeah. Clogging up the chimney with big puffy sweatshirts. Just zot all the way down that chimney. Crammed the whole chimney full of big Midwestern sweat. It's good for the insulation. We're letting out of cold air through this chimney. I say this. Homefield does things so well.

They had an Alabama shirt that I almost ordered. I figured it was too much culturally for me to put on and rep in Alabama shirts. It's too much to explain. It's too much for me to carry. And I didn't want to steal valor from everybody who bravely soldiered through the Mike DeBose's years. But still, that's how good they are, considered getting an Alabama shirt. So, yeah, homefield apparel.com.

Beautiful stuff, beautiful people. All from the great heartland of Indiana. I believe that's the end of business. That is the end of business. I got one more game I want to mention, which is this. Late night Saturday. I mean, I know we got LSU, Florida. You know, it's like, I don't know, man.

I want to believe that we're going to shred an extremely dysfunctional team that cannot play past coverage. But being the pessimist that I am, I will believe it when I see it. How many, let's see, you are favored by. I forget this one for some reason. I think it's like 20 points. Seems grim. No pressure. Have fun with that.

It seems very, very grim. I don't know. They can't play past defense. They've been awful. Everybody else is arguing with everybody. I don't even know who's talking to each other. Like, after the season, we're going to read some post script, some sort of postbordom on them from somebody who just does nothing but writes down all the gossip that all the coaches wanted to talk about each other the entire season. And we're going to find out some insane stuff like, yeah, man, Ed was only speaking to everybody.

in latin he was he was that angry he reverted he reverted the tongue of the ancient lord that's what that's what he was speaking bo palini might just record himself saying all that we might not even need a reporter to write it down bo just might go live on the us stream i feel like bollini would go live on us stream he's not going to do it on a contemporary platform no he's going to like old school joe rogan and be like yeah i'm on the us stream i'm just going to talk we'll let you all know the truth about what was happening. Boe Polini on Justin.tv. Yeah, Carl Polini holding the flashlight as a late.

Okay. Bo Bo Polini on lockers with a Z, airing everybody out. You're like, this runs on Flash. I can't even hear you. Bo Polina go on Homestar Runner. I don't really know what on Earth is happening. That just looks like a team run by a bunch of people who are arguing with each other.

and the players are just kind of lost. That's not any inside information on my part. It's just based on seeing teams because the players are trying. There are players out there putting in good effort. There's players putting in bad effort, but there are players out there who really care and who are trying really, really hard. None of them know where to go,

and apparently none of the people in charge know where to put them. That's what I see. And I see a Florida team that can pass the ball. That seems to be a recipe for continuing. disaster. But again, as pessimistic and as panicked as I can be about Florida, I'm just going to believe it when I see it. There is a much more compelling game to me. That would be Purdue, Indiana, because it's a bucket head special, y'all. Who loves the bucket? You love the bucket. We're going to win that bucket. Yeah, we. Indiana, because this is, of course, an Indiana

Hoosiers football podcast now. And we love each of other we love you that's that's uh i love jason we love everybody right we're a special team we're a special team yeah yeah yeah yeah that's it with our with our father tom allen that's all we do just hug each other just love on each other i feel like that's what they do in indiana practice like like you know the the thing where it's not just love each other's love on each other that's yeah indiana difference it is it's the it's the cuddles have made them fierce you know hey you know what other animals like to cuddle and then go out and kill bears

bears they're very very affectionate then they go out rip someone's hide off what better describes the Indiana who's your experience Monday through

Saturday cuddles weight training and sleep it's very bear like then they just go out and you know they just eat a Girl Scout

camp on Saturday that's what they do Wow, I thought you were going to say Girl Scout cookies, but no. No, Girl Scouts. They just go raid like a video. Wow, okay.

They just crash like Camp Philmont. Eat a bunch of Boy Scouts, right? Nature red and tooth and claw, but I didn't think it would be me. Purdue, I would advise you to avoid this football game. Why is nature red and tooth and claw, by the way? Because they wear Indiana red. See?

Yeah. Also from the blood and screaming. Yeah, also the red and white candy stripes. It's a very, like, evil clown vibe. Yeah. The evil clown bears are here to cuddle you. Yeah, Pennywise, the bear, is here for you. Aw.

I know, it's adorable. Yeah, this is, by the way, the game also where you're going to see this a lot more on Twitter, which is, why are we paying Brom this much money? I've seen that pile up with her two fans. as the season has worn on, which I don't know. There's people I feel like making real demands of in terms of producing in any year in college football. Ryan Day. Ryan Day is currently at the helm of Ohio State football.

A roster as stacked as any, not just in college football, but really in the contemporary history of the game. Right up there in terms of sheer talent. But I feel like you shouldn't screw it up. I feel like you should probably be more than competitive in every single game. I don't know if I feel like I can make those same demands of the coach of the Purdue Boilermakers. Yeah, I mean, 2018 season, which was the year that established Brom as a genius, which we kind of suspected at the time. Rondale Moore probably has a whole lot to do with that. 2019 rondale plays three full games

this year he has also played three full games so that's a little bit of a factory adjustment for you there this is not necessarily good sign for next year when rondale more plays zero games for bram's boiler makers but still yeah two and three in the big ten that you know two and three period uh not really not now i think what's

they wanted but you know what i'm also going to go with y'all i don't know what you expected you know peru to be in like what is obviously going to be a a year where your roster depth is going to be more than tested where you're going to miss a bunch of practices and where you're not really going to be able to solve a lot of the problems that a football team uh has to solve when you are playing as peru and not clemson or ohio state so yeah it's kind of what i'm thinking you probably probably going to get your ass put by Indiana that's that feels that doesn't even feel weird to say anymore that's how I know we're in a different spot man yeah well it's Purdue it is no it's it's Jeff Brom it's a different day yeah yeah uh huh yeah uh also in the

notes you have listed Fresno State New Mexico as I did last item before mailbag? I'm just going to go ahead and say this. If you're a gambler and you value action over results, you might want to invest in a Fresno State game. Just do it. I do not have this on the board. This is beyond even me.

I do have, I am going with UNLV plus 21.5 against Hawaii. That's my most disgusting selection of the week. I don't, yeah, I was going to say, If you have that bet, I don't know if you can judge me telling people to look like this. That's a lot of points is the thing. I think you're just looking across the brothel going, well, that's weird, but look what I'm doing. Sure.

I'm saying we all have our things. It's fine. We're all getting through it. However. Don't look at me. I'm hideous. Don't look at me. It's 21.

That's a key number. And we're getting the extra half point. So the rebels, here we go. Yeah, Fresno State, turnover, happy, inconsistent, kind of occasionally explosive in multiple directions. If you told me, well, Fresno State scored a touchdown across the field. You mean like not toward the end zone? No, no, they scored one on the sideline. They tunneled.

They tunneled. Wow, okay. Yeah, they did it. The Fresno State Nevada game this past weekend. Oh, what a blast. It was very entertaining. state fan i might have jumped off a very tall building watching it but for me it was really exciting so i encourage you take a peek at fresno state new mexico if you've got indigestion he can't sleep on

saturday night or if you're just a degenerate looking to do degenerate things this is the midweek episode we're going to go ahead and do the one listener mailbag by that we mean we just pick one a question we ask everybody we pick the finest one and i will tell you there is a trick for getting us to pick this. Some of you might have figured it out. I will tell you many have not in terms of what we won't answer. The primordial goo on Twitter, you want to follow that handle. It goes by the name Bryce, but it's at primordial goo. Superb name. Ask us one that we had to take. What ancient civilizations would develop into competitive P5 programs.

Strong. Can I strike one right off the top? Yeah, take them out. The Mongols. Fearsome, mighty empire. One of the most horrifying things in the history of earth. But where's the recruiting base?

Where's the recruiting territory? Right? It's like, you know, not only is it desolate, it's people far, far, far apart. they're also always on the move it's like if Nebraska changed conferences or something that would be horrible right like Nebraska abandoned Texas and just started trying to recruit

like Wisconsin and Ohio be terrible it would just fall apart it wouldn't last you know like the like Genghis Khan's Empire yeah I mean I sort of think of them as you know like I do really think of them as like Nebraska right I think that's a great comparison

because yeah, the scariest thing I've ever seen. Where'd they go? Some say they're still out there on the prairies. I mean, I say this as somebody who watched the 1995 Nebraska Huskers take my team apart like a cheap chicken.

Okay? Like, yeah. Scariest football team I've ever seen. Also, like Genghis Khan, they say most people on earth you can trace their genes back to Herbie Husker. Literally, they're jeans. The jeans that Herbie Husker wears.

They're yours. Give me back my blue jeans. My extremely blue jeans. My ironed blue jeans. Yeah, take that one off the board. Okay, completely like just take it. I think that I'm going to have to say that as a power program, I'm going to go the chin dynasty the chin dynasty you know why they had a recruiting area and they built the wall around it just like shembe just like howard shembeckler at miami the chin dynasty under chen shuang unified the empire dominated its territory created their own culture we talk about culture you want to know you know you say oh man you know you know you know you say oh man you know you know you

know that coastal carolina program they got great culture coaches love to talk about culture right nick saban that man has created a great culture dabbo swinny you know who doesn't have shit on chin chivong dabbo swin because you know what did chin unify a bureaucracy did chin strike as far south as hanoy no he only recruits down to miami that's as far as Dabo goes Chin's across the whole continent Chen Shiavong

definitely a magnetic personality an outstanding recruiter because really what's a better way to recruit somebody than by force

also Chen the guy who had all the books burned and all the scholars buried why? Because he ain't come here to play school

Hey facilities Top notch Top notch Not only did he build the wall You seen you seen that Terracotta army You seen That's the scout team

That's a scout team Come on man That really is like when they When they walk you through the facility And they're like look at all these jerseys we got This could be you stud Right Uh huh

And they show you the 30 the 30 uniform combinations 30 how about 10,000 yeah and also by the way you know what else he built roads you want to know why got knock on doors got to go talk to some mamas yep that's that's totally and and by the way like all great builders really believed that he was going to live forever and was obsessed with acquiring immortality and believed that there was

an elixir of life that he could that he could maintain which as we all know that that's exactly that's exactly what Bear Bryant tried with RC Cola that is correct

it worked for a while it worked yeah it really did Golden Flake chips I'm gonna recommend the Aztecs because if you want to survive in college football. Gotta be a little ruthless. Got to be a little cut throat. Maybe literally. Maybe cut

throat. Maybe cut a chest. Maybe pull a heart out. Maybe, maybe slaughter a person on top of the football facility, kick their body bouncing down the side of the stadium. Sacrifice to the sun god. It's got to be warm outside. If you're going to practice, can't be cold. If you're going to come here, you're going to endure our humid temperatures, right? We need that home field advantage um so yeah we we you know hey hey hey hey northern kids come on down and play in the sun like oh shit now we got to get the sun come up we better we better sacrifice some folks so uh and yeah i don't i don't know what better defines college football than just just cranking through for you the coach left next one up right uh that's a

really that's an interesting that's an interesting pick because uh because their nutrition I think they're pretty much comparable to a 70s program or an 80s program that was really dominant that later had trouble because their their nutrition program really wasn't all that it's all corn can't be a you can't be a monoculture this is what I'm saying and hope to sustain greatness yeah well I yeah and it it is sometimes theorized that the Essex did this because like they didn't have cows they need to protein they needed meat right and uh so there you go that's strength program yeah that just needed to work on that i think um if we're looking at at empires i've already got the chin in here um is it cheating all right if i just say i think i think rome would be pretty good I mean, just stretching. I know. Just a guess.

Stretching. Stretching all the way east and west. Yeah. I think that'd be pretty good. I just think they had a good record. Call me crazy. Yeah. They, uh, they, yeah, they were kind of the Oklahoma, right?

We're just like, yeah, we just win 11 games a year forever. Yeah. Just indefinitely. Also, do you do something cool? Okay, we'll do that now. Yeah. Now that's our thing. Yeah. That's cool. What else do you do? You know, you can just be one of us. We'll just keep, you know, just keep absorbing whatever you do and keep evolving. Actually, you know what? That's, that's definitely Oklahoma. Isn't it? Oh, my God. Hey, you guys have a cool offense. We're going to do that. You have a cool defense. Yeah, we're going to do that too.

Oh, you got a cool religion, huh? Okay, yeah, that's ours now. Yeah, that's fine. We got a guy who wears a big hat. Big old, it'll be a cowboy hat in Oklahoma, but big old hat now. Collection of, collection of powerful and problematic Caesars. Yep, yep, got those. You know where I'm going with this, by the way, that this makes Julius Caesar, Barry Switzer. Which, that's only because you're like, well, who'd get stabbed? Well, that and also, like, how do you make his name by, like, swaggering around and kicking ass and talking a lot of shit about it? right like he went up and like beat the shit out of the gulls and like wrote back about how awesome he was

and everyone's like oh yeah this dude talks a lot of shit he's very cool we should put him in charge of everything he wants to wear like weird robes he's very switzer shirt and and who was who was who was the brute who who pulled the et two that's right jerry jones by the like by the way one of the conspirators you know like i'm just going to go ahead wrap him in with bark anthony if you were like yeah i don't know where he went he's off of some weird egyptian lady well i could be jerry jones too um i would like to strike the baby the baby writing down laws we don't do laws this is college football nerd trying to get everybody in trouble that hammer that's the nca babylon's the ncaa

Get that shit out of here.