Shutdown Fullcast - THE 2023 FULLCAST BRACKET SPECTACULAR

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

With Spencer (overwhelming fear of basketball) and Holly (vacation) both out, Jason and Ryan must adhere to March Internet Law and present a bracket-based episode, which leads to important discussions like: What song gets grocery store workers amped no matter the time of day? Is patience superior to peace? Can you talk yourself into a false start on your opponent's one yard line being a good thing? Is being good at soccer more important than understanding the economy? Have we depowered Phil Collins too much? How did Matt Stafford not get the beer-based nickname? Generosity vs. Faithfulness WHO YOU GOT? What if special teams units simply refused to take the field to punt from plus territory? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome. All right. All right. To the shutdown forecast. he didn't listen he didn't finish the drill but he started it and that's all technically that's all we asked him to do yeah that is true we said we said we said dog would you like to do the welcome we didn't say would you like to do the welcome to the world's only college football podcast so and so forth oh sure perfectly done well you did the job it's fine it's fine um we got we got

we got a real substitute teacher edition of the fullcast today uh server is out so handy dandy full cast after dark producer Doug is here Holly and Spencer are out we replace them with no one it's just me we replace them we replace them with Doug yep Doug is

serving three roles and as a result he also now has full voting control over the full corp for the duration of this I've been watching a lot of succession lately and I think that's how it works he's going to fire us both and then he will have full control over

Holly and Spencer as well Fire them. That's right. That's right. Man. That's right. That is an absolutely terrifying thought. No, this is the least, listen. I say this with humility. Our company is the least important company in America. Other than the bank that has no money. At least temporarily until the government gives it all back or whatever. Our company is the least successful company that's still standing in America.

How about that? Our company is the least successful company that actually makes a product that people can interact with. That's right. But, like, Doug, you don't have to worry. Like, what happens? What does it even look like to mismanage the forecast? How could such a thing happen? I don't know.

Oh, no. Oh, no, the podcast was bad. Yeah, man. That's what they make. Someone complained about the audio. Yeah, man. We will have to refund them. Well, that's not new after after dark.

I don't know. After everything of that show. After the first, what, how many, seven, eight, whatever years were we literally, were like, Ryan was the producer if he had time. And that was our entire solution. I ran the program through Mario Paint, and I just saw what happened. It worked out. I just, I, I, I, had Teddy Ruxpin reread it to me, and then we posted it.

Inevitably, I fell asleep, and then I just posted it. Wow, that's beautiful. Jason, you came up with our concept for today, so do you mind explaining to our readers what we're doing here? Dear full cast readers, this is March, as the saying goes. And this time of year, sports fans watch a sport by the name of college basketball. And the thing about this sport is that its playoff is not four teams, all right? College football fans. I know we think of that's a, whew, settle down there.

That's a huge playoff. In college basketball, the playoff is 16, no, 32, no, 64, no, it's 68 teams. And then there's other playoffs, such as the NIT, which seeks to crown the 69th best team. There are so many brackets in college basketball. So as Internet content creators, there is only one thing that our minds can turn to this time of year. Yes, we will be the roughly $7 billion entity to do a bracket in March that is not about college basketball. But, to be fair, we've done this many, many, many times. we surely weren't the first to do it,

but we definitely weren't the last. So a couple, or yesterday, I think, that's how long, that's like really far ahead planning by full cast standards. I asked Ryan, so like, should we do a bracket? And Ryan was like, sure, we just needed a topic, you know. And I was like, let's just ask Twitter. So we did. And Ryan's really an idea was sort of to combine topics into one bracket,

each region having its own topic. So we have a bracket of things, and none of the regions have anything to do with each other. I ceded two of them, and Ryan ceded two of them. I think I have that creative process, right? That is absolutely correct. The one thing, maybe I got this wrong. So I have one Twitter bracket from a Twitter user,

and I have one bracket that I just came up with. Do you have the same, or do you have two Twitter brackets? I have basically the same. Okay. Okay, that's fine. if I went to hubris that's fine so what we're going to do this is not we decided ahead of time in a rare what if the forecast is too long decision these are only going to be 18 regions they're not going to be 16 we're going to talk about our seating of these regions advanced teams

through and we're either going to stop I don't know if we've decided to stop at the elite eight or the final four at some point we're going to stop Let's stop at the final four because we have a number of options there. We could just, since Twitter polls let you post four can't before, we could post with zero explanation. Right. Whatever the final four is. And just see what happens. Yeah.

Okay. Cool. Well, Jason, since this is your concept, why don't you pick where you want us to start? All right. So I settled on for, I have a Twitter-inspired region. as well to get to but I settled on from mine also partly inspired by Twitter because there were a couple people who wanted to talk about

who wanted us to rank like classic music things and there are not many like musical things musical topics that are truly like you know every everyone who listens to a podcast can like get into like you know if I said like top eight 90s rappers or whatever like Ryan and I you and I could probably debate that all day long

but a lot of listeners would not be into that. There is one form of music that literally everyone has like lots and lots and lots of engagement with, and that is grocery store music. Everyone goes to one store or another, and this is, it's a genre, all right? It's a genre that we all interact with some of us far more in our lives than others. They used to work at a grocery store. And in consultation with multiple members of my family who also used to work at grocery stores and as the proprietor of the Internet's most successful grocery store music playlist on Spotify, certainly a point of pride. I have compiled a top eight. This is not scientific, but it is informed.

Let me put it that way. First, let me say who I considered who didn't quite make the cut. First four out, yes, that's right. Yeah, it's a loaded group. When you hear these names, you'll think, damn, who's in the top eight? Aba, Bruno Mars, Coldplay, the Eagles, Ed Shearin, Hootie and the Blowfish, Katie Perry, Maroon, 5, pink, Cheryl Crow, and the Supremes. I think that's 10 or 11 or so on the bubble. The Supremes, I had at like six until I started filling in the top eight.

I remember from my years as a grocery store employee, the Supremes are just on loop. like far more than I think most people even recognize. So honestly, the Supremes might be the first one out here. So the seating, let's start at number eight. This one's honestly kind of unfair because I made a play in here. If these were combined into a single artist, I think it would be top two. This is Phil Collins versus Genesis. Wow.

You go through their top ten songs and like both of them are just littering retail playlists nationwide worldwide so and it's it's it honestly feels unfair to split fill like that but it would be unfair to everyone else to you know to compete against those combined discographies um so honestly we could start it there just to see who makes the cut phil collins versus genesis and i honestly don't even know what the criteria is from here like who's got the best songs played at grocery stores who's played the most who most fits the vibe of the grocery store that part is totally up for debate i i like that last answer best because i feel like it it combines frequency and quality like what feels most like a grocery store song to hear um and i'll say i'm sort of biased here

because um from my from my experience working at grocery stores my perfect idea of a grocery store song is one that really catches your attention. And when I think Phil Collins, you have in the air tonight and you have Easy Lover, two of the absolute like, hang on, everybody stalking this aisle at 4 a.m. is going to sing along with this. Right. Genesis, you got a lot of jams, but they all sort of fit into the rest of the genre, right? They don't just like, oh, holy shit, that song's playing.

They're all good. But so I'm curious whether for the average person who's grocery store experience is like five to 30 minutes or so, right? if that is a factor. I think that is. I think to me when you're talking about grocery store song, it needs to be something that simultaneously fits with the activity of shopping at the grocery store, but also pierces through the regular cadence of that activity and stands out. And you do find yourself like tapping your foot or humming along to Easy Lover as you're like,

examining peaches or debating if this buy one get one is worth it or not it it's not always folks you have to look at those characters but that's a separate topic um so by i i can tell you my gut is that the answer to this playing game is phil collins okay i think um that was where that was where my heart was leaning um i mean the hits are the hits and then you also have you can't hurry love you'll be in my heart one more night it just goes on and on and on the man was i mean counting the work with genesis the god of the genre man the supreme's knocked out by phil collins it's crazy stealing their song it's crazy and i even looked at like the supremes plus diana ross but i've only heard one of her songs in grocery

stores that i can recall which one uh i'm coming out oh yeah sure okay right but like the supremes is Genesis, it's the Supremes. Phil Collins versus anyone. Anyone not on this list is Phil Collins. Okay. Seven Seed, which was recommended by my sister who is younger and worked at where she's born much, much more recently than I did is Taylor Swift.

Obviously, I was considering her, but she was not played there often when I worked there, but the frequency is obviously rising, you know, quickly over time. six seed Whitney Houston not only a lot of hits but also a lot of Christmas hits which will be a big factor

near the top of this list which means you probably already know who's the one seed number five also rising rapidly is Adele my wife Emily had Adele as high as I think two or three but Emily has never worked at a grocery store so what does she know

this is the podcast where I can say that because she's not on it number four stevie wonder um number three selene dion number two elton john and number one maria carry of course this is stacked stacked stacked region like absolutely i can say not knowing what the full bracket looks like i think our overall winner of this nonsense tournament is likely to come from this region just because people will see like selene dion versus one of the dumb things i picked and be like definitely selene dion or what i'm not saying she's going to win this region, but you catch my meaning. Yeah, just looking at the things you have on here and, like, imagining the public voting

for them over Elton John is difficult. Right, right, right, right. So this is our, this is our region of death, for sure. Right, yes, this is the one where you look up in, oh, God, I have to play Gonzaga in round two. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All right, so. Can I ask one more question here?

Yeah, yeah, please. I don't think there are too many, I don't think there are. I don't think there are a lot of places where this happens. But let's take like Mariah Carey and Whitney Husson. They have a song they did together. How do we factor that into this if it comes? I don't think it's going to come up that much. That's a huge factor that I did think about that.

Yeah. So if the Prince of Egypt soundtrack is jumping off at your local grocery store first, tip your DJ because they're putting in work. That is a strong pull. um if they're also throwing in the uh the original hebrew translation of the song of the sea uh then the things are off to it your shopping experience is going to be magnificent um i mean i think it counts for both right like i don't feel like it's a song where there it's like a one featuring the other i agree even the music video makes it very clear like this is a two-hander yeah like neither one

of those artists is likely to be a sure i'll play second fiddle like there is an entire joke at the or whatever about like nobody one-ups either of them so right okay okay okay well i say we start going through this and and see who we get out of this region then okay so um one versus eight maria versus phil um i mean the spread here is enormous if it's phil plus genesis honestly i might favor phil versus genesis just in terms of playlist yeah but still it's a vibes question but genesis is eliminated genesis is eliminated it's just phil standing alone um maria versus phil who you got here um the christmas thing all i want for christmas is you is really like i think the decide i think this is closer without that than people might think like yeah yeah maria carrie definitely has a lot of jams

but, like, certainly the recent catalog has nothing to, like, these are both, the timeline is roughly the same, um, if we're talking about, like, when this work comes out. And Mariah Carey also has more songs that I feel like you definitely won't hear in the grocery store. Like, I don't know if you're going to hear Heartbreaker in the grocery store. Maybe you will, but it feels a little less likely. Probably not with the Jayze verse, no. Right. Exactly. you're probably not going to hear the roof probably not right right

there Mariah Carey you're also going to get maybe well no I don't think that's true this is going to be this is the thing that's going to be true for a lot of people on this list what do you do with their sad songs like what do you do with One Sweet Day is that a great that doesn't feel like a grocery store song

to me I think it is I'm pretty sure I think it is yeah I think so I think so so do you think it fits the vibe of the gross I guess it depends on why you're shopping yeah it's i don't i mean if you don't listen to the lyrics i think so songs about death typically aren't um right the right mood but i mean if you're not paying attention it's just as you know and you know what sometimes you need a sandwich tray for a funeral that's just how it is sometimes that's true um there are said there are um in the greeting cards

aisle there are like sorry three lost cards yeah yeah yeah um that said i think the christmas the Christmas issue tips it here, and I can't see an upset this early from Mariah Carey. I'm not confident she's going to be emerging from this region necessarily, but I don't think she's losing here. Okay, so Phil, one half of the unbelievable grocery store music machine

has been eliminated, but look what it took to take him out. You have, like, not only Mariah Carey with 800,000 number one hits, she's also got the fucking finishing move that happens all December long. I remember my daughter and I, we were riding around this December, and it was like, we got in the car, it was playing, we went to one store, it was playing, we got in the car, it was playing again. It's like, and the song is almost 30 years old.

Right. What a monster, what a monster. Yeah, yeah. Number two here, truly a generational clash. Elton John versus Taylor Swift. You chalk me through your logic first. so elton has like a zillion songs that like basically everyone of every age loves like elton might be the artist on whom me and my mother can most agree you know and like just like his entire greatest hits album has probably played like frequently maybe not the bitch is back but depending on the grocery store we i did have a a boss who would like switch up the uh there's a little not many people know this there's a little

button in a box where you can switch the playlist and so like yeah we'd do that sometimes um i've heard rancid at a grocery store sure um it's food lion they can't afford they can't even afford they're just giving you me first in the gimmie gimmies is all they got this is punk goes pop actually it probably costs more sorry um so elton there's just like a zillion songs that have been playing forever and ever and ever, whereas Taylor has all the momentum, right? Like, she has yet to write songs

that will be played in grocery stores you know, 50 years from now if stores last that long. Well, and also, the way that Taylor's, the legal side of Taylor's musical career has played out, like, her back catalog keeps getting refreshed

and rejuvenated in ways that, like, make it popular. in ways that are not exactly the same as the other people on this. Like, Elton John is not like, oh, here is like Elton's version of Crocodile Rock or something. Right. I don't know. He might, like, he's doing his remixes.

He could. He did that remix with Britney Spears. That's true. And, like, others. So, like, I could see that. I could see that in the grocery store. Brittany was one I didn't consider. I did consider Christian Aguilera.

So, so, yeah. That's a great point about Taylor. though like there might be songs that sound like at this point from like her first album that sound kind of like tinny and small you know and like if she if she re does like her first album which i don't know if she will but all those songs are up for contention you know i think my only hesitation here or my major hesitation i should say is that i think of taylor swift's music as target music and i don't consider target for these purposes And that's where I'm getting stuck.

So based on that, maybe unfair distinction, I would probably go Elton John. But I can be swayed here. And also, if we need to go to Doug to break a tie here, I'm fine with that too. Yeah, I think the target distinction is really good. Doug, as a younger person, what do you think? I'm thinking about this, I think you have to go Elton John. just because if you're talking right now, right now, I think his range appeals to a lot more people.

Taylor's pushing it, but I don't think she's there quite yet, maybe in a few more years. Okay. So when we do this exact bracket next year, we'll see if Taylor's overtaking. That's right. Because we will do all four of these exact regions next year.

We'll see who's gained. All right, so no upsets so far. God, this one's going to be brutal. God. I didn't actually even look at the actual matchups until right now Oh God Celine Dionne versus Whitney Houston Oh God

Fuck Fuck I will say I mean I rank these based only what I perceived to be total grocery store plays I will not announce where I would go if the choice was Who I would rather here I will say, you know, both these artists are amazing and incredible. But I do have a vote here. Let's hear from you two first.

Doug, I'm not starting. You have to start. Oh, God. Because I know I'm going to get yelled at by some friends of mine if I don't pick her. I'm just going to say Whitney Houston right now. Okay. This is an excruciating pick, though. Is that only based on fear of,

of being canceled by your friends um a little bit of that and a little bit of i don't know who to pick this one i'm just going to hmm shit i think it's still going to be whitney i think just because of that factor okay okay i'm i'm closing my eyes and i'm imagining walking into for me it's public's it's just going to be publics let's just put that in stone i'm walking into a public's haven't been to the grocery store in a while let's say it's a nice public It's arranged the way you like. I prefer Bakery Deli on the right. I don't like it when it's flipped.

I prefer the full-size Publix, not like the compact Metro one. And if you're saying what song is playing, that sort of like makes this a quintessential any time in your life public's experience, I think my answer is that's the way it is by Celine Dion. Okay. And I don't mean that with disrespect to Whitney.

Houston, who I would definitely pick over Celine for lots of other circumstances, but if we're talking about the grocery store, I am going with Celine. That's fair. That's fair. Celine is both on the estimated most played lists, and if I was

selecting the eight artists who I think contribute the most to the overall grocery store musical aura, she would certainly be in strong consideration here. I think Whitney, not just for the fact that she gets some Christmas spins that mean you don't have to hear

the Paul McCartney song quite as often and so forth. I mean, higher love, I'll always love you, how well I know, greatest love of all, as noted, half of a song with Mariah Carey, let's put it that way.

And on the list of songs that at 3 a.m. can get an aisle of grocery store stock boys um just like really really fired up to stock those shelves i want to dance with somebody i was going to say yeah one of the greatest songs ever okay impossible to be in a bad mood when that song is playing um a spirit lifter and like i mean if you're just shopping and that song comes on you're going to throw a whole bunch more things in your car because whitney houston is boosting the economy that's what she does that's right that's right

Um, so we have our first upset. And I honestly, it's only an upset on paper because at this point, the point spreads in these matchups are nearly invisible. Um, Whitney Houston advances. This, uh, the second round is already looking absolutely brutal. Murder. Murder. Um, and finally, our four or five matchup in our first round, Stevie Wonder versus Adele. I don't, this is the one I don't think is close. I think it's Stevie Wonder. Okay. like I think it's a lot of range in terms of like some uptempo stuff some slower stuff some sweeter stuff it's multi-generational like I feel like Adele deserves to be here I'm not saying Adele shouldn't be in this region but if you're just asking me like I am the grocery store DJ and I can only put one of these artists their work like A lot of it, I think, is just that, like, the body of work with Stevie Wonder is much more voluminous and much more accomplished at this point, just because he's much older than Adele. And so on that basis, I would pick number four Stevie Wonder over number five, Adel.

So we'll check in, like, 40 years from now. It might be totally different, yes. If Taylor Swift is target music, is Adel Creighton Barrel music? Yes. Or like, what's a store where, like, it's really sad, but, like, high-end sad. But not too high-end. Restoration hardware, maybe. Home Depot music.

I'm just rebuilding my heart. And then she comes in singing. Yeah, it's Stevie. Stevie was, I'll be honest here, the, when I looked at these in terms of not just spins, but quality, the top. here for me was our final four here, our top four in this region, Mariah Elton, Whitney, Stevie, plus Celine Dion, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's saying if we, granted, we snubbed a lot of Phil Collins's songs because other people

were on them. Sure. So what if we do this? What if we jump to one of your regions and then come back to, come back for second round? Great, great, great, great. Okay, I'm going to start with a Twitter region. this is from Twitter user at Indiana Random We got a lot of good Twitter suggestions

But this one really stuck out This is your region of Mats And I did a couple things here That made this unnecessarily difficult for myself And possibly for the rest of you I specifically pick people who go by Matt Matthews are not on here MAT people who go by MAT

Sometimes you see that in like, not usually an American setting, but abroad. There's also no like tricks here about like, oh, doormatter. No, not here. I also try to pick people who come from different walks of life. The NFL is lousy with mats, but I only have one. Acting has tons of maths, but I only have one. Oh, interesting.

I've tried to see them accordingly. So you sort of, in the spirit of like conference auto bids, only one mat emerged from you. Yes. That is correct. That's sort of what I was going for. I don't know if it worked or not. I will also say this. I thought about putting our friend Matt Brown on here, but it felt weird seating a person I know. What if you combined both of the Matt Browns into one? Oh, man. Let's, you know what? That's the first team out. That's my first team out. You two have to figure out how to actually merge into a single person. I mean, you're already pretty close to that. Yeah, yeah. All right, so here are my maths in seed order. Number one, Matt, Matt Barry, the actor from what we do in the shadows, and other things as well. I just love the show. I love him on it.

He's great. The fact that we have a show about vampires where one of the main characters yells bat every time he turns into a bat is just fucking delightful. number two Matt Murdoch the superhero better known as Daredevil Wow Number three

This was tough Picking a NFL Matt was tough But I decided to keep With sort of the Atlanta Falconsie vibe That our show frequently has I went with Matt Ryan So you went with the future

Hall of Famer there's easy choice That's right And I know also we're huge in Boston Yes Not so huge in Indianapolis Less huge in Indianapolis. I actually kind of are. Sorry,

Indiana. Shop at Homefield. Number four, given recent news and given that we've already talked about a little bit, Bloomberg journalist and a good newsletter have her, Matt Levine. Good poster. Very helpful. Yeah.

Really good poster. We love a poster. Number five. U.S. men's goalkeeper, and he also plays in the Premier League, but that's, you know, whatever. Matt Turner. Number six, and Jason, I'm going to lean on you for feedback here, and yes, I did pair him in the seating with Matt Ryan so that you would have some decisions to make. Okay, I think I know. Matt Hardy, the wrestler.

Oh, fuck, okay. Number seven, this is where I was, you can tell these last two I was really scraping, and the decision to limit it. walk of life was a bad one. NASCAR driver Matt Kenseth. I got to be honest, I don't have any feelings about him. I think he's going to lose Daredevil, but we're going to see. That's right. And number eight, baseballist Matt Carpenter,

who I mostly remember as the St. Louis Cardinals pitcher who, I think this is him, and I'm really sorry from fucking this up, and maybe I could have looked it up beforehand, but it's too late now. I think this is the dude who was a pitcher, got the yep, basically failed out of the majors as a pitcher and then worked his way back up as an outfielder? Hmm. The word pitch does appear a lot in his wiki page.

He's not a pitcher anymore. Right. I'm not seeing pitcher. Carpenter made his first appearance pitching. That was, so I don't think it's him, because it sounds like in 2021, he had like an injury. Who am I thinking of? I don't know.

probably not a mat this is gonna fucking annoy me anyway whoever that guy was pitcher who became it was it was a cardinals guy cardinals pitcher outfiel

yeah yeah the two came up here all right you know what Matt Carpenter's out Rick Akeel's now a Matt no it's Matt Browns okay all right

all right all right sorry fuck I knew what you know what part of me said like Don't pick a Cardinal slash Yankee.

Nobody wants to hear about that. And that was, I should have listened to my gut. This is a much tougher competition. I'm furious now. All right. So welcome, both Matt's Brown. You've entered the competition. Wow, that's crazy.

Ohio State wasn't the first one out. For once. All right. So we're going to see who advances. Our number one seed, English actor Matt Berry, versus surprising Cinderella team the twin Matt Browns. NCA sanctions elsewhere.

That's right. That's right. Thought they had booked their tickets for the NIT and then we're told, hold on, get on a bus to Albany. You're playing Matt Berry. Who do you guys have advancing in this matchup? So, Matt Barry, I have

scrolled through the filmography and this might be the single actor whose work has most been recommended to me without me actually seeing any of it. Yeah. Yeah. Like almost everything, maybe I've seen some of these episodes he like guessed it in, but like almost everything he's in, I'm like, oh yeah, I'd like that if I watched it. I just haven't. Right. So like, he might be the actor, I think, the most of who I have no idea what he's actually like. So, I mean, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. It's pretty

good case. Um, whereas the number eight seat here, You have two guys named Matt Brown, who are both among the list of college football posters whose opinions, I'm just like, yeah, okay, that's my opinion now. You know, like Bill Connolly is there, you know, like NFL Bill Barnwell or, like, NBA John Hollinger, like, basically whatever they say, I'm like, yeah, okay, I agree with that. So for having very cribble work and for, like, teaching me things about college football history. and the fact that this combines current and former co-workers. Oh, there is a recusal problem here potentially. Oh, shit. All right.

No, go ahead. Go ahead. I've stayed in my opinion and will now leave the room. You're right. You're right. Okay. Doug, what do you think? I've looked at Matt Berry's wiki.

The only thing I've watched is Toast of London really stoned about like six years ago. I found it funny. That's about all I've ever seen him in. And then Matt Brown, I'm inclined to give it to him solely because whenever his daughter, Penny, seizes his stewarder account, it's always hilarious every time. And I want to support that. So now we've got three people in one spot. All right. You know what?

Phil Collins is furious. Why didn't he get to bring his friends? This is perhaps an error I made in the seating here, but that happens in real life, too. So I'm going to go ahead and I'm not going to stand in the way of progress here. The Matt Browns advance. Again, a huge first 1-8 upset in the history of this August tournament. All right, let's jump to the bottom.

I think this will be easy. Matt Murdoch versus Matt Kenseth, which Matt advances. I mean, I think that Daredevil would be better as a NASCAR driver than this NASCAR driver is at NASCAR. car driving. Wow. And that's really no shade to the actual NASCAR driver. I don't know anything about the NASCAR driver. I'm sure it's great

but he's won the Daytona 500 a couple times and his name's Matt. That's excellent. That's good. I mean it's a good choice to make the bracket. I just think you can't compete with a guy who has like fought his way through like a thousand people

in a stairwell without seeing any of them. I think that I mean I'm not, yeah, Doug, we're going to go ahead and just advance Matt Murdoch. And he's the world's greatest lawyer. I don't, perhaps Matt Kinseth has other skills he brings to the table, but as of press time, I'm not aware of them. I'm going to control F lawyer. As Ryan knows, being a lawyer on the side is incredibly helpful.

Super, super lucrative, yeah. I am in many ways the daredevil of sports media. Everyone knows it's true. Okay, we're advancing Matt Murdoch. I'm going to go to the 4-5 matchup next. Matt Levine, good poster versus Matt Turner, good person between the posts. Oh, that's good. Doug, how does Matt Turner rate amongst our mats here, in your professional soccer opinion?

I'm fairly confident he's the best goalkeeper in the world named Matt, because I can't picture any others in my head okay that's something yeah um i've enjoyed watching him play he played for one of my past teams so i'm also a little inclined for that as well um other than that two or two or three time mls goalkeeper of the year i think yeah yeah he's at arsenal now so he's doing pretty okay for himself yeah had a pretty good run in the world cup yeah yeah he's definitely the the guy now um i don't I don't think I follow Matt Levine, so I'm struggling with that one. Okay, no, that's fine. That's fine.

Jason, strong feelings on this one. Yeah, I think so. Like, Matt Turner, the goalie, is not a person I have ever turned to for anything. I have never needed, I have never, like, needed the New England Revolution to win a game. And, in fact, there have likely been times where I have rooted against Matt Turner as an Atlanta United fan. not that I would hold that against him if he'd been an incredible player who I just couldn't take my eyes off

I would certainly hold that in his favor here whereas Matt Levine is a not just a fine poster but also like the person I turn to when like money shit happens when it's like oh shit the money whatever is super fucking dorked up there's only really one person I care to have this explain to me other than Alex Kirchner at Slate

economic correspondent at Slate So, like, Matt Levine. He would pick Matt Levine, too. You know he would pick Malavine. I'm just saying Alex's number two on the list. But, like, yeah, I mean, it's like a person you kind of need to understand the world unless you're, like, the kind of dork who can, like, read the economist or whatever. Right.

So this is a tricky one for me because I'm like, what is the essence of a mat? Playing soccer is a super mat thing to do. Like, that's Matt as hell. Just imagine how many mats. How many mats play soccer? do you think all of them all mats play soccer and so I'm faced with the question of what is more Matt to play soccer or to talk about the economy I don't know if it doesn't involve being accurate about the economy then it's probably

right right right right right right right so I guess I'm gonna go with well what is our nation need more going forward excellent goalkeeping in international men soccer or explaining what the fuck's going on with the economy most years i would pick the goalkeeper this is not most years and so i think we are going to advance matt levied this is a very poster this is a very poster heavy uh region right now because like in in many ways matt murdock is like being a lawyer is being a poster let's be honest it's just i look at the uh the second round in my first region i think maria is the only poster there like Elton quit Twitter and everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, this last one, I'm just going to leave up to Jason. Matt Ryan versus Matt Hardy. It's micro-targeted content. Matt Ryan, who was my quarterback for, I don't know how long. Was it 15, 14, 13, something like that, like a very long time. The best player in the history of the pro sports team, I am cursed with liking, a player who was, like, deeply underrated for, like, large portions of his career,

I would happily make the case. He should be the Hall of Famer regardless of what happened in Indianapolis and regardless of what happens going forward. Up against Matt Hardy, who during his time in WWE, I believe then F, he and his brother were high-flying new metal fans who innovated all sorts of new wrestling types. The tables, ladders, and chairs match was not only an innovation of theirs, or they were the masters of it. Matt, however, was always sort of the

the sort of like stable, more ground-based member of the duo. Jeff did all the very high-flying stuff. So he was the Matt Ryan to Jeff Sculio Jones. Jeff Sculio Jones, yeah. And it's hard to correlate these things, and I don't want to sound like I'm drawing too close of a distinction. but Jeff has also lived much, much harder when he's off the clock.

Jeff has had like a number of legal problems just to put it as blandly as possible. And I'm not the only person who has had the sense that his brother, while supporting him, is also somewhat enabling him by continuing to push him into performing live and when you tell Jeff Hardy hey I got you a gig on TV

what's Jeff Hardy going to do he's going to jump off some really tall shit and land flat on his back on metal and then he's in a lot of pain and it's not good when he's in a lot of pain so like my feelings toward Matt Hardy you know like as a kid it was like oh my God this is one of the two coolest guys in the world

he wears enormous pants and he jumps off shit whereas now I'm like not so comfortable with Matt Hardy, and also the new metal has aged incredibly poorly. Matt Ryan also wears enormous pants, I feel like. Matt Ryan wears very snug pants is the thing. Off the clock? Oh, absolutely.

Wow. So, like, I mean, for one thing, like, he wouldn't wear baggy pants. And, I mean, the other, like, the style is, like, I think more up to date than he gets credit for. Like, yeah, he's, you know, dorky dad from Pennsylvania and Boston. But he's also from Atlanta. Like, as we see, there was that meme of him, like, on a, I forget which studio show, where he, like, competently and appropriately dapped up one fellow studio participant.

And then when the other offered him a businessman-like handshake, he was able to do that as well. I think, I think Matt Ryan, I don't want to say he's cooler than he seems, but he's less uncool than he seems. I'll put it that way. Okay. And he has never bought into the fleeting sugar high of wearing big pants while listening to new metal. So that I know of at least. I mean, Matt Ryan in college, what was he listed? Probably Phil Collins.

He's probably going to Phil Collins in college. The drop kick Murphy's at absolute most fired up. But I got to go, Matt Ryan, and it's not only due to Falcons bias. Okay. They will both be Hall of Famers in their respective fields. We put it that way. Okay. Okay.

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All right. Those are our mats advancing. Should we move on to Jason, your other bracket? Okay, yes. This one was inspired by Twitter user, when we sent out the call for requested topics, by Twitter user Jack Kvorkyns. This bodes well.

Y-I-N-Z of Pittsburgh style. Who just type the one word, emotions. Wow. So I was like, but not in the Carly Ray Jepson style, I assume. Right. If it was like top eight Carly Ray songs, I could talk your ear off about that.

Carly Ray is not a grocery store artist though, right? No, you might hear call me maybe. You will probably hear good time from time to time, even though it's like one of her worst songs because the guy on it sucks. I can't think of any others. ever heard she does have one called store about going to the store which you think they'd play at the store but they don't you might like there have been a few that are on car commercials you know

yeah yeah and like um but just not it's it's it's no shade just not a grocery store artist yeah if cut to the feeling hadn't been like a b-side song that blew up if it had been an album song maybe um so as far as non carly ray emotions go uh So I looked up, like, list of emotions because I'm like, where the fuck do you even start here? Like a newly born AI bot trying to start his legs. Yeah, like, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, preparing to, like, be interviewed. I feel very, uh, Google, Google, signing day shows, God damn it. I feel tremendous.

Patience. Is that a good one? um so i found one that like seemed to fit perfectly because it was like the eight emotions according to a psychologist professor from usf and i'm like well damn usf has been through a lot i'm sure they know a lot about emotions they know the the highs of like two weeks in 2007 and they know the lows of every year since that's a lot of emotions is one of the emotions sweaty tampa emotions back sweat that's the whole other one yeah um so then i was looking down the list and it's like uh love joy blah blah blah you know

and i'm like oh okay okay part of my brain is singing a song right now uh this sounds exactly like the fruit of the spirit from paul's letter to the galatians which uh here is the ranking that i settled on um it's mostly in order love faithfulness joy peace patience kindness generosity and then there's a play in between gentleness and self-control um i don't know if all those are emotionally emotion. Some of them are like personality traits. States of mind or something. Yeah, it lined up close enough for me. I think they should be ranked in basically that order because later, about five years later, and the first letter to the Corinthians, Paul essentially ranked love number one

of all, and his first in the list, so I mostly followed that. But he also ranked faith very high later, so I ranked faithfulness number two. There. Okay. So. Gotcha. All right. So I guess to start with the play-in, gentleness versus self-control, and I have no idea the criteria for emotions is, like, I was asking my wife and daughter, and they're like, do you mean, like, the strongest ones or the one you most want, or the ones that are most common?

And I was like, I don't know. I think it should be the most emotional, right? Okay. Does that seem fair? The most emotional emotion? Yeah. I mean, whatever. Yeah.

So looking at the play-in then, What is the most emotional emotion? Gentleness or self-control? Well, probably not gentleness by that criteria, because self-control is like an act of, like, desperately trying not to do the stupid thing, whereas gentleness is like, why would I do the stupid thing?

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think self-control is the obvious winner there. Yeah, I think that's right. I think that's right. Sorry to gentleness. I hope you enjoyed your time in Akron. And gentleness is like,

okay, it's cool. whatever okay okay let's let's do it let's start uh let's figuring out emotions also a mara carrie song by the yeah yeah damn her she's just running up the scorch her influence is everywhere god damn she's dominating uh all right so uh let's go big number one seed love versus number eight seed self-control walk off it's love love and landslide like this game isn't even close at the end of the first half This is when we're like self-control in ways that can sometimes be okay and sometimes be bad, often fights against love, right? Like, yeah, I love the wrong person, you know, blah, blah, blah.

But like what always wins, whether it should or not, you know? Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, love dominates that one. Okay. Faithfulness versus generosity. this is this is almost a mirror image almost not i think like generous generousness generosity is should be a very emotional thing it's it's you know it's it's it's literally giving it's supposed to be like you know uh represent it's supposed to represent i think a deep emotional uh experience

in the act. Faithfulness, I think, has more potential to be an active inertia. There are some versions of faithfulness where keeping the faith or maintaining the faith is an act of doing the same thing over and over again, where generosity is maybe more of an active trait at times. I think that's, I'm painting with too broad of a brush here, and there are obviously parts of faithfulness that are just as active. But if I have to split these hairs in this impossible reason, that is where I sort of look and maybe lean a little bit towards generosity. Okay. Yeah. So faithfulness here, I am going to interpret it as more of loyalty, devotion, things of that nature. Actually, let me look at a bunch of other versions and see what

Which can encompass elements of generosity as well? Sure, yeah. It mostly gets, yeah, it mostly gets written as faithfulness. Which is more emotional. I mean, devotion is often just a decision, right? Yes, right. And sometimes it's a hard decision, and sometimes it's a decision that's continuously challenged.

Yep. Your loyalty is often tested, right? Whereas generosity is like an action. that you do and then it's more self-contained and then you do it again um so like is it the constant low-level emotional hum of faithfulness or is it the i am doing something for someone right this minute 10 minutes from now i will not be but right now i am right that that like burst of emotion right then got you gotcha so generosity is your team that shoots a lot of threes is not hitting a lot of them But when they do, they kind of come in flurries.

Faithfulness is the Virginia Cavaliers of basketball. Yeah, we're slowing the pace down. We're feeding the ball into the low post. We're taking high percentage shots. We're getting to the free throw line. Hmm. Yeah, I don't have a, I don't have, I don't know. Doug, do you have feelings on this one?

It just hit me. Is faithfulness the pit of emotions? Like pit, P-I-T-T? Hmm. Let's see here. Depending on the year, pit can be. very generous as well but it might be love when it's like oh god damn it out of nowhere wrecked by love yeah yeah um yeah i i probably lean the upset here but jason i'm gonna i i can

leave this one to you i'll abide by your decision here um well i think considering the fact that i moved up faithfulness and in fact faithfulness is itself a stand-in for what paul initially wrote, which is faith. Faithfulness is artificially boosted here in two different ways. So I think since it's a coin toss, I'm going to give it to the upset, which is generosity, which has not been

aided in any way. Okay, okay. All right. No steroids in generosity, unless you're giving someone steroids. Okay. Next, we have this feels like a beat down, joy versus kindness.

You know what to do here. you know what i mean no one ever wrote a song called kindness to the world nobody ever called paul mccartney's probably do that kindness and pain we're talking about 90s rappers right that's definitely

uh yeah joy advances there is joy advances um man by this standard this standard that you have you have come up with really really clarified things that was a good a good way of handling this bracket uh four five peace versus patience very similar in some ways yeah yeah um i think i think peace is in many ways is maybe uh peace is interesting because it feels like the emotion that is inherently unattainable or only unattainable for limited durations like most are a lot of religions sort of get to this idea of like pieces where you are

trying to get and you're never going to fully get there in your journey on this earth um patience on the other hand is something that you exhibit towards the circuit maybe maybe be patience is the skill you develop to try to enhance your own piece to try to enhance the piece around you as well and so I think because patience is the pathway to peace peace is therefore the superior emotion but like I recognize I've just said a bunch of bullshit here none of it could be right no you're preaching that's some preaching ass preaching that's a good word come on now um I think, like, I feel like I'm sort of biased here by, like, what I, like, most enjoy feeling,

which, like, peace of mind just to use, like, the most, I guess, basic instant present feeling that, like, I mean, honestly, that feeling of, like, I know I locked the door before I left the house. And I don't have to wonder about just those little things. Or, like, when you have gone through a long period where you don't have health insurance, and then you have health insurance. It's like, it changes everything. And you didn't even realize it changed. You know, like when I, like, when I very first got a full-time job, like, after college or whatever, it was like, I looked up like, oh, shit, I had been, like, low-key worried every time I left the house, you know?

And now I'm like, okay, I probably won't lose billions of dollars if I could hit by a car. And then you expand that to, like, bigger and bigger things, whether it's internally, personally, like, having like a true tranquility that you don't feel all the time but that you can access right and you expand that to the greatest level like what is the single thing that we want most for the world and it's like the end of oppression and conflict

and everyone getting the fuck along right so like in a lot of ways it is our highest objective and I mean patience but like patience is sometimes bad you know patience sure patience could mean procrastination or

bottling or whatever. Like, patience isn't always, like, the single greatest thing. It's a valuable skill and a valuable tool. But, like, the only time peace is bad is when it's like, should I stand up for this person, nah? But that's not peace. Right. Because there is no peace there. That person is still being bullied or oppressed or whatever.

So, like, you haven't added. It's a very selfish version of this. Yeah. You've just created a fake piece for just yourself. So that doesn't count against peace. I think this doesn't, I don't know if it exactly fits the specific criteria, but to me, piece just has so much more going for it here. Okay. I agree

with that. I agree with that. All right. Awesome, Paul, we have fixed your list for you. So that brings us to the last region, which is one I created on my own. I want you to know, I briefly thought about

doing a very meta, meta, region, which is frustrating things about the shutdown forecast. One of the things I had on that list was when the show takes 30 minutes to talk about, 30 minutes plus to talk about sports. And so technically this would qualify within that, but instead I am going with a sports theme here, a football one. This is the region of annoying things that your offense can do. And I tried to keep it somewhat specific, but here they are in what I would argue is the proper seated order.

Number one, turnover in the red zone. I don't think I need to explain more why this is just the most frustrating thing that your offense can do. Number two, fumbled snap. Who knows what that play is going to be? Might have been cool. Might have gone well, but we didn't even get a chance to see if it was going to succeed or not, because

the basic thing that starts every offensive play got fucked up. Number three, Vikings fans, close your ears. Throw short of the sticks on third down. Bucking and furiating. I know that was actually fourth down for the Vikings, but whatever. Number four, kneeling with 30 plus seconds left in the

second quarter. This is obviously super contextual, and there are sometimes where it doesn't matter, but I still feel it can be extremely frustrated. Number five, false start on the opponent's one-yard line, specifically a false start, specifically on the one. Number six, delay of game after a turnover or change of possession or anything where it was like the clock was stopped and everybody had time to figure out what was going on delay of game in those circumstances all delays of game are pretty annoying but this specific iteration is the stupidest number seven illegal formation penalty like again all offensive penalties are frustrating but the one where a play is called back because not enough people were on the line of scrimmage or somebody was covered covered up

or some stupid, like, oh, you didn't, like, write your name on your homework in the right corner of the paper. Like, that shit is, ah, so, ah. And number eight, quarterback runs out of bounds for a loss instead of throwing it away. These are my, there are other, there are a lot of other things you could put on, I'm not going to do the first four out for this region because offenses can do all kinds of frustrating things. I thought about putting punt from plus territory, but arguably,

that's not the offense doing that. Okay, okay. So, I didn't know. So that would probably be first out just because I felt it didn't qualify. Okay, yeah. That's, because ultimately that's this head coach's fault, not the whole.

Yeah, and it's like, you know, the special team's unit refused, they're complicit, arguably. They're kind of being scabs in a way, yeah. That's right. All right. So, let's start with, um, red zone turnover versus quarterback runs out of bounds.

for a loss instead of throwing it away, which is the more frustrating or annoying thing that your offense can do. Damn. So without sort of like being pedantic and finding edge cases where it's like maybe we went for it on fourth and down from the one and that was the smart move and we didn't get it.

You know? Or like maybe it was, the choice was between running for negative half a yard or throwing a pick. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Without getting like overly creative with it. I mean, you can't top red zone turnover.

Okay. At least in this round. Well, because your brain, at some point when your team gets that close is like, well, we're definitely going to at least get a field goal opportunity. And your brain knows that it shouldn't do that. Your brain is like, nothing's guaranteed. Fields can get missed, whatever, whatever. But like some part of you has already tallied that up in your imaginary scoreboard.

And when you turn the ball over, you have to go back and erase that math, and that sucks. Yeah. Number two fumbled snap versus number seven, illegal formation penalty. Illegal formation has an upside because you got to see some shit you never seen before, and that's always a growing experience for you. Look at what you've learned today. Oh, that guy can't stand there. Yeah, yeah.

Football's hard. Football's complicated. You know, there's a shitload of rules. and like there's head coaches there are rules they don't know whereas fumble snap that's literally the easiest thing it's like it should be the thing that never gets fucked up um it's it's the most take it for granted thing in all the football so like that going wrong it's it's hard to stomach okay we will advance fumbled snap uh throw short of the sticks on third down or delay of game after a turnover or change of possession.

So throwing short on third down is obviously frustrating, but I feel like often it's the smart move. And this isn't just like a, oh, 1% of the time you can think of a way it's cool. But like, I mean, if all the coverage is deep and you're using that third down to essentially add yardage to your punt or to like set up a potential fourth down conversion, like a lot of times it's the smart move on third down. so like unless it's a case where it's like we had to go five yards and you went three you know right yeah right but uh whereas a delay of game that is always terrible i got to

go delay of game there in the upset okay and our last matchup kneeling with 30 seconds left in the second quarter 30 plus seconds left in the second quarter or a false start on the opponent's one yard line hmm So the false start, like I know these days quarterback sneaks are unstoppable. If you simply have Jaylen hurts who can like squat a truck and you somehow put nine guys behind him and nine guys in front of him, whereas kneeling with 30 seconds left is like, I don't, like you said, a part of your brain. This is one where a part of your brain, even if you have 90 yards to go in four seconds to do it, is like, why wouldn't we take a shot? Right, right, right. There's no chance of it working, probably more of a chance of it scoring the other team points.

but I think due to the fact that like for me maybe I'm an overly optimistic person sometimes if we get a false start I'm like well now that just opened up some pass we got some room to work with pull playbooks back open again boys now we can operate I mean as an Atlanta Hopkins fan red zone doesn't fucking matter we're not going to score anyway the place to score is from 90 yards away when there are four seconds left so I got to go kneeling here okay I think I agree with that one primarily because false start on the one is frustrating, but A, like, is, it doesn't eliminate the possibility of scoring a touchdown, and is usually a product of, oh, you were too eager to do something. Nealing with time left in the second quarter is a decision to do nothing,

is giving up. And I find it much more frustrated. yeah personally like doing not enough is more frustrating than doing too much and additionally just the psychological right right like regardless of the strategic impact right right right okay um okay so now we've winnowed our and now we got to go back through our regions yeah and yeah so what if we do this in our in this round of 16 what if for each region we just boom boom to a champ and then we'll have a final four that we can then throw to Twitter. Do something with, yes. Or whatever.

That's a great plan. Great plan. All right. So in the grocery store music region are one versus four is Mariah Carey versus Stevie Wonder. God damn. And just to remind the listener, or in case you're somehow tuning in late, I don't know if that's the thing for podcasts. This isn't which artists we like the most. This is a variety of grocery store.

specific factors so here is where the Christmas element starts to the Christmas advantage starts to be winnowed away a little bit stevie wonder does Christmas songs they are not as big as all I want for Christmas is you and I understand that but like you it is not unlikely to hear a Stevie Wonder Christmas song at the grocery store at the holidays less likely sure i'll give you that um i don't know here like this is i i think i kind of lean stevie wonder here but not strongly i kind of want to hear more debate on this frankly so yeah you will hear someday at christmas yep i see if you wonder um i think you hear what christmas means to me yeah um but the thing is

Mariah also has other Christmas songs. Sure. Yeah. There's a, I mean, she does a few of, like, the old standards. I know that she has two entire Christmas albums. I think she has a joy to the world that gets played. Or, let me see, which one I'm thinking of here. I mean, all of these, I think all these get played.

Like, I think there's honestly so much Christmas bleed over that almost all of the songs from her, just her first Christmas album get played. um and like dominating an entire month even though you're right stevie absolutely participates probably more than most people even in the top eight um like to me even if they're neck and neck 11 months of the year you think you think maria's i think maria's got the finishing good dog how do you feel about that decision i keep going back to all i want for christmas is you it's like oh that's like the the level four super she's got after you've tried everything else She comes in with that.

Right. And I'm just like, Mm. This is the part of the video game where you're like, ah, her health bar is down and then it refills. Another health bar. Prey good.

Sephiroth. Mariah's singing over Sephiroth's music. That'd be a fucking badass, by the way. Oh, I would watch that immediately. I, I think I have to go to Mariah and carry on this one painfully.

That was really hard. Okay. Yeah. I mean, Stevie advanced in a brutal region. He made the cup. but in a brutal region and advanced. Like, this is, and it is understood. This is no shade to Steve you wonder.

Right, sure. Elton John versus Whitney Houston. I think, I think this is where Elton John maybe wasn't tested enough in the first round by two years. On the grocery store front. And Whitney having to take down Celine, like, I think really was saying something. Is she building momentum? Yeah, I think. I think, like, she's the Cinderella story of, of this region, and I think Whitney advances here.

Like, I think Elton John's discography is great, but I think Whitney is probably scratching the grocery storage specifically a little more precisely than Elton John is. Like, I don't think you're going to hear Saturday nights all right for fighting at the grocery store. I would love it if you did. especially if it's Saturday night and you're at the grocery store if it's Wednesday afternoon I'd love it frankly I'm just saying let's fucking fight

I gotta put that on my calendar good to know let's fight I've heard leave on at the grocery store my favorite Elton song and that was like damn

this is there's just a zillion songs here that get played everywhere I wonder how many times candle in the wind has been played in grocery stores you know what I mean like

do you think Do you think it was, well, especially, like, post-Diana death, like, that updated version. I bet that had some, like, heavy rotation. Yeah. Sacrifice. Yeah. Someone saved my life. That's why they call it the blues.

That's, man. I got to say, despite Whitney, I said she has, like, one of the absolute best songs to hear anywhere. And she contributes heavily to the Christmas rotation. I would have to vote for Elton. and make Doug choose the winner. Yeah, Doug, choose the winner. God. Doug, here before the internet, decide who is better.

Elton's honor, what me soon. Tell the internet which of these artists you can't stand listening to. No, that's not what Doug's doing. Leave Doug alone. What's painful is that I used to work in a grocery store, too, and I would do that thing where I worked out of Whole Foods for like two months, years ago. Count it. I feel like I've heard from both when we were stalking shit at 2 a.m.

Fuck. What's your gut say? What does your gut say this is a grocery store artist? I'll abide by whatever decision that is, but I just want to know what is like your knee-jerk first answer on the SAT going to be. I think I might have to go Elton on this one. Great.

We got chalk. tough region tough region I think that what does it for me is that the stuff he did with Disney really gets a lot of play

we didn't even get into the Lion King's soundtrack God damn that's the kind of stuff like Akuna Matata all that shit all that gets played can you feel the love tonight

yeah can you feel the love comes on that's a good shit nobody's talking for four minutes shut down the whole building and if it's an overnight shift someone might go and feel the love

A couple stalkers might pair up. Who knows, man? Who knows? It's a long shift. Jason, this is your region. Who are you advancing between Mariah Carey and Elton, John? Mariah or Elton, two of my all-time favorite artists. God.

Yeah. I mean, I ceded Mariah one that was mostly based on what I perceived to be total spins. I think I have to trust the public there and go with Mariah. Okay. I think that's a good choice. I think that's a good choice. And she will certainly win whatever. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Congrats to Mariah Carey. I'm winning this bracket. All right, let's go to the Mats. First matchup. We have the upset winners in the first round. The Matt Browns going up against Matt Ryan. Well, I'm biased in every direction.

I know, and this is why I kind of need you to chip way in here. Yeah. So, like, Matt Ryan's college career was pretty interesting. Boston College was good. What the fuck, right? He was very much part of the 2007 season, the most interesting season in college football history. And both Matt Browns could tell you a lot of things about that season in Boston College and football history. so I'll hold my thought there while you take a turn I think again thinking of like what is quintessentially matte it is obviously it's very matte to write online about college football like it's a it's a super matte thing to do but I think what tips the scale for me is if you if you gave Matt Ryan a different name if he said like oh he's J. J.J. Ryan

or he's I was going to say Paul Ryan but that's a different person entirely yeah let's also let's note here there are a whole lot of

shitty mats that you didn't include on this list so thank you for that several of the worst people are named Matt there are a lot of mats that it was easy to not seed here

but I think like of the quintessence like part of why Matt Ryan is perceived the way you previously described that he is is, I think, because he is a Matt.

Like, I think that's a really cute, uh, foundational element. Like, Matt Stafford, like, he's a daywalker. Sometimes he's Matt Stafford. Sometimes he's Matthew Stafford. You can't trust him.

He's never been Matthew Ryan. Like, nobody has ever called him Matthew Ryan. The closest you get is people who call him Matt, Maddie Ice. Yeah. And that is like, in some way, is such a stupid nickname that it reinforces his matted nickname as well.

He's madness, yeah, you know what I mean? Like, when I was in college, I drank a whole lot of beer. Right. That's an interesting fact about me. Right, right. Was it cool beer? Not really. It was just cheap.

I drank a lot of whatever beer was closest to me. It is fucking ridiculous that Matt Stafford is not the one who got the beer nickname, frankly. So brutal. It's so brutal. But I think if we're just saying, like, who is most Matt? even though there are two mats teaming up in the blogger portion of this I think Matt Ryan is like

one of our nation's most Matt people yeah I mean like dudes named Matt love to be from Pennsylvania and Catholic and move to Georgia and play golf on the side and have the same haircut for like 25 years and then think you know what it's time to mix it up

I'm going to do something exciting I'm going to move to Indiana this is Matt overloaded Matt, you need to slow down. So, yeah, I would favor Matt Ryan in this matchup. Yeah, all right. So no shame to the bros for losing two, again, as noted, at Pro Football Hall of Famer. All right. Matt Murdoch, Daredevil versus Matt Levine.

All right. Obviously, I would prefer if they could collaborate on, like, economic law or whatever. The economics of Kingpin's Empire. Oh, shit. Yeah. I would love to read that post. The financial crimes of the Kingpin. How exactly does he stay in business?

How exactly does he keep his city afloat? Like, no one knows. He's just very large. Yeah. God, his metabolism has to be fucking crazy. The economics of feeding Kingpin. How is one man so square? Economist, too baffled.

How much do his suits cost? It's crazy. Yeah, I got to go with Daredevil here It's crazy because like I mean like obviously he's a cool comics character But like without the show Yeah This would be more of a close call because like

I mean it's probably It's at least the best Marvel show I would say like the Loki show is good But it's only had you know It hasn't had very many episodes and whatever I don't remember loving any of the others I like the first season of Jessica Jones But I don't remember

Yeah, yeah, yeah The first, oh yeah, you're right Yeah, the first season of that show Was fucking awesome And then it Yeah What if this was just the Ben Affleck movie? Yeah, I don't think it would go very well

I don't think it would go very well So like Including comics Daredevil And current Daredevil I got advanced Daredevil here Okay, I'm fine with that Doug, do you have any objections here? No, ma'am, I agree.

Okay. All right. That leaves us with Matt Ryan versus Matt Murdoch for the king of Matt's. Yeah, it's Daredevil. You think it is? Yeah, I mean... Okay. Daredevil is the best at, like, the thing he does.

Yeah. Not fighting, but like his very, very, very specific style of fighting. Yeah. Matt Ryan, while almost always very good and at times excellent, has never been the best. Matt is a real lawyer-ass name, too. And not like a Supreme Court Justice name, not like a, you know, leading the Justice Department name. Real like, I'm Matt, and I'll fight for you. Like, real, like, hell's kitchen, local attorney name. Also, according to a meme.

from the She-Hulk show, Matt Murdoch, is a tremendous lover, and I'm certain Matt Ryan is highly competent as well, but I have not seen any memes emerge on that side of the field. Maybe that's the next season of the She-Hulk show, where they emphasize that. Also, Matt Ryan is a tremendous lover. Matt Ryan as She-Holk's boyfriend. Okay, I'm fine. I'm fine advancing Matt Murdoch. I think that is a reflection, honestly, of if Mariah Carey advanced out of her bracket with just like nothing but competition the whole way, Matt Murdoch more or less walking through in that bracket is really a reflection of like the Matt region is not super deep.

Like the fact that I accidentally put Rick Ankeel in under a wrong name really shows you that Matt's have a way to, or it's this, Matt's need to do better work convincing their Matthew brethren to come back to the fold like there are just too many i i specifically didn't do matthews and that that took a lot of people out of contention here um yeah the whole ass gospel and everything that like yeah i like that you said um come back as if matt is the authentic natural and some idiot came along and added hue that's right that's right um that is correct you are also hamstrung here by like there are tons of shitty mats that you didn't include like the grocery region imagine if like i don't

know. Elton John said something racist yesterday. Yeah. Oh, okay. You know? Yeah. So, like, yeah. There are a lot, yeah, there are a lot of people when you're like, oh, who's this, who is this people, who's getting dunked on on Twitter that I wish people would just ignore. Like, there's a three in 10 chance it's a map. If you go through your mutes list, just control F. Matt and like, oh, damn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. So the fruits of the spirit. Love versus peace. I think it's going to be love versus joy. Like, I just, I don't mean to jump the line here. But I feel like it's just going to be love versus joy, right? Love, trounce is peace, and joy was the higher seed, takes out generosity. Yeah. All right. So, in the final, love versus joy, this was seated by the former Saul of Tarsus,

who had love as the number one overall seed. But in his original ranking, he did have joy number two. So we are, in a sense, chalk. So I hear what you're saying that love always wins, right? Yes. But at the same time, as you said at the beginning, this is March. It's win teams that always win, that always win, don't necessarily win. So I think we shouldn't just assume that love, because if love is, I don't know, the duke of this bracket.

Oh, God. Yeah, I don't feel good saying that either. Oh, God. pretend i said something else okay like i i think i think joy has a very good chance here i don't know what it is yet but i'm thinking does joy have like a higher upside i think um joy love can be a bad thing love can be a misapplied thing love can be an emotion that leads to bad decisions decisions, harmful decisions sometimes. I don't think Joy can do that.

I don't think Joy has as many unintended consequences. I understand that they're like, if you're talking about like, what gives Hannibal Lecter joy? That's different. But if we're just talking about like the non-sociopath version of joy, I think joy is probably a better place of being and a healthier place on the whole. whole love is a wonderful thing and an important thing and you probably can't have joy without love in your life but i think it is a better state of being so i think you raise a good point i think with joy there are more words that describe things that feel like the bad version of joy like vindictiveness or schadenfreude or spitefulness or you know like ha ha i'm happy that you are feeling

bad i feel so great about the bad thing that's happened to you like there are all already words for like the bad versions of joy and it's hard to hold them the perversion of joy yeah yeah whereas like i mean the worst possible version of love is like i mean you could call it like fixation or you know obsession unhealthy yeah unhealthy obsession or whatever but it's still love it's still love okay um the thing is though um i liked the criteria of the first round here which is like the most emotional emotion sure yeah um and joy does have like incredibly high highs but like feeling joy for like days weeks months at a time um i don't know if i've ever experienced that like to be joy is like it's a fucking rocket boost right it's the highest high you can feel um but like after

that what are you chasing peace right let's let's bring it down and let's hopefully have a happy happy landing um whereas like love can be everything from like a first love that is feels like joy and lasts a lot longer and like in terms of like what makes you the most emotional it makes you a fucking idiot right what the the greeks had what four types of love if i'm remembering correctly yeah we should have we should have broke it on that way yeah yeah um so yeah I guess by that standard, love is a more multifaceted emotion than joy is. Yeah, yeah. Like, and, you know, infolding the harmful toxic versions.

If you're talking about, like, what do you feel more? Yep. You know what I mean? Okay, yeah. So I think that there are times when I say this and there are times when I definitely don't say this, but I think Paul had it right. Okay. So if I'm picking joy and I'm picking, and you're picking love, Doug,

Which emotion are you putting into the final four? Love or Joy? Shit. No wrong answers. No wrong answers. Both deserving participants. Everybody will be happy. I think I'm more swayed by the way love was defined.

Okay. Ouch, but that's fine. I, um... It kind of just made sense to me. Okay. that's a perfectly that is a great answer daredevil versus the concept of love yeah that is in many in in many instances that is daredevil's own battle he has been challenged by it he has been inspired by it yeah essentially electra is standing in here yes correct correct all right for onto our final reach okay red zone turnover versus kneeling with 30 seconds left in second I mean, this is easy, right? Like, kneeling with 30 seconds left is frustrating.

But, like, if both of these are about, I thought something better could have happened and it didn't, the risk reward, the trade, like, the likelihood of reward is so much higher with the red zone turnover. Yeah. It has to be that. That has to be more. I think the kneel, the frustration is kind of fleeting. Yes.

It's, and then your mind takes over and like, yeah, fine. It was mathematically. Right. It's not a big deal. It's basically like the same feeling. is when your mom and dad are like, no, we're not getting dessert at dinner tonight. And you're like, oh, fine. Like, I get that we can't have dessert every night.

Versus the dessert is on your plate and then it's taken away. Right, right. Yes, it's the difference between we're not having ice cream in. Here's the ice cream. You immediately dropped it on the floor. Here's the ice cream. You've got to watch somebody else eat. Yeah.

Red zone turnover advances. And I think we'll win this whole one, but we'll see. Delay of game after turnover, change of possession, et cetera, or fumbled snap. these are both very stupid things these are both things that like that at their foundation are you could not do football you were asked to do football and you could not do football because you couldn't start successfully i think you seeded this region correctly because i think it's fumbled snap because like the delay of game is like okay just do the same down with you know whatever there's a little more space and we did just get a turnover so you know things are ultimately

looking pretty good for us whereas fumbled snap is like, we wasted it down on that, on not even playing football. Right, right, right. And they might have picked up the fumble. Delay of game never, yeah, delay of game never leaves to a turn. The only argument I'll offer in defense of fumble snap is this. A delay of game is only bad. There's no version of a delay of game where things go well.

You can see a fumbled snap where, with the right circumstances, it throws the defense off unintentionally in such a way where if you recover the snap, And if you, like, make something happen with it, you can turn it into a positive that actually is much more frustrating for the defense. Because it's like, this should have gone really well for us, but somehow we, like, threw away this really good opportunity. Yeah, they have sustained psychological damage because they thought you were dumb and then you revealed that you are lucky. Right. So, I don't know. Doug, do you have feelings on this one?

I feel like with fumbled snaps once in a while, you can make that into this. something positive that's kind of one of that doesn't feel good necessarily the delay of game I'm just like always nothing comes good out of that okay okay um

what was yeah all right I'm gonna advance delay of game then damn wow huge all right and then I don't think it mattered I think you know a delay a game has lost five yards a red zone turnover it's dumbest fucking thing in the world you're right there

end zone was right there or you could have just taken any and kicked it you could have just kicked it on first down nobody says you have to kick a field goal on fourth down if you're nervous because you're inside the 20 and you just want to get points on the board just get points on the board don't turn the ball over don't do that i hate it when you do that so red zone turnover is going to um walk so we have if i'm looking at it here we've got two one seeds red zone turnover and maria carry we have a third one seed in love and then a two seed in Matt Murdoch so pretty chalky but I think that I you know what maybe that's because we seeded these really fucking wild yeah yeah I think I think ultimately the the real winner is the selection committees so now I think we have a choice to make and we should

just do it production meeting style should we put this out as a meaningless Twitter poll now before the episode goes up and people can later realize this is what I voted for or should we force Spencer and Holly to make this decision without any context whatsoever okay

the latter is pretty funny and it's like starter content for next week plus we would have to tell them right now like you do not listen to this episode and Spencer will be like well what episode we have a podcast

I think that's good Um, that, uh, the edit note there would be, Doug, I think I mentioned Twitter voting a couple times. So like, we could just, we could just cut those if you can. You know what? Wait, wait, wait. There's no reason we can't do both. How would we do so? So what? I think we should just do both and just see what, yeah. It's like, let the public vote, but tell them not to listen and they'll get final, the final answer. Yes. Yeah. I think that's the way to go. Okay. I'll do that. I think that's the way to go.

So I'm going to, um. Do you want to announce that now for the show? I got to remember if I still have the login, which is pretty fun. No, no, I can tweet it. I just meant like for the episode currently ongoing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what we're going to do. If you are listening to this, I want to say this, if you are listening to this, voting is closed already. We're only going to leave this open for, I don't know, let's say five hours from now until mostly the end of the day.

All right. So it'll be, it'll close at 9 p.m. Eastern March 14th, 2023. Vote if you can. So, and we're not, again, no context is being provided here, and you'll get it when you listen to this after you already voted. That's democracy. That's what that is. That's good.