Shutdown Fullcast - The Astronomy Episode
Episode Date: October 11, 2023SHOW NOTES The most we have ever talked about the moon without openly questioning the existence of the moon There's really an uncharacteristic amount of football talk in the rest of the episode, and... we feel kinda weird about that, but after watching the end of Miami-GT during the Saturday live show it turns out there's still a lot to process! A quietly radical exploration into the notion that football coaches are people Vibes check with Mark Stoops Field trip to Mannequin Mountain Celebrity AND Champions Jeopardy! updates (WELCOME BACK, UNCLE SKIP) Life is too short to argue with Carolina Panthers fans on Instagram about Israel Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
There's an eclipse, which is where I want to make sure I'm getting these terms right,
but an eclipse is where either the moon passes between the earth and the sun,
that's a solar eclipse, or a lunar eclipse, you switch the, you switch them around?
In lunar eclipse, the reason the moon turns fun colors is because the earth is the one in the middle.
Yes, right.
So the earth is passing between the sun and the moon.
But then there's something called a transit.
Okay.
So now we are getting into astrology.
Yeah.
And a transit is when another celestial body inter...
A transit is like a baby eclipse is like the easiest way of thinking about it.
Right.
But we don't call them an eclipse.
Right.
Because an eclipse means it's like...
So like the definition of eclipse is covered up.
And in our case,
we're talking about Mercury or Venus passing between the Sun and the Earth,
and they're not big enough.
We're not close enough to Mercury or Venus for them to blot out the sun.
So when you call, it has this, it's this very like, you refer to it in a much fancier way for some reason.
It's called like the transit of Mercury or the transit of Venus.
Um, but they, uh, they only, you get much fewer of those than you do of the other kind,
especially with um especially the transit of venus also there are partial transits of mercury and
Venus that you can't even see because it's this kind of like a partial lunar or solar eclipse you can
see because there's a slice taken out of the corner of it right but if like a corner of venus passes
over a corner of the sun you're not going to see that from here okay and then there's a conjunction
which is where which is where mercury or venus are
close enough to the sun at the time of an eclipse that you can see that planet.
But they are not the thing causing the obfuscation of the sun.
So the conjunctions are like probably the fuzziest thing.
Yeah.
A conjunction, the only reason, let me start over, all that has to happen technically for a conjunction is that two
astronomical bodies have to be close to each other.
The only reason they get lumped in with eclipses is that we can only see a conjunction
when those two bodies align with each other in view of the, when we can see them thanks
to the sun.
Right, right.
So, like, there are conjunctions happening around you all the time.
But you just can't see them.
Right.
All right.
And then my last note.
I mean, not all the time, but, and of course, they're not actually close.
Yeah.
They're just, they're on the same, they're on the same, like, Z axis.
You see, you know, the partial transit is like the little skew me.
Like, skew, like, just a little...
Yeah.
And now I have a goal.
It's not a goal I'm going to reach, but I would like to live until April 5th, 15,232.
Okay.
Because according to this Wikipedia page, that's when the next solar eclipse and transit of Venus is expected.
And, like, if we are still around all...
on this planet and we are not planning some wild shit for that day what are we even doing
into this so like technically if you want to you can celebrate this like technically a new moon
is a conjunction just for example so you can celebrate this every month if you want um but what's
i going to say so there's actually there's there's um ryan how deep into this research did you go
I'm just, I'm in true forecast fashion.
I'm just on Wikipedia right now.
Okay.
So a transit is one planet that is like passing near another planet.
It's like a bump pass.
There are planetary eclipses where one planet completely covers up another planet.
That's an occultation, like occultation.
But I don't think the.
And those can take place with planets that are not just, that, like, Jupiter can get,
Jupiter and Saturn can get involved there because you can occasionally see those with the night sky.
But I think the next one of those doesn't happen until 2065.
Well, maybe we'll start with there.
Maybe that's a baby step.
Well, in the meantime, I think it's time for us all to head to Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
The next eclipse is going to be visible.
That's part of the belt.
NASA is hosting an event at Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the, for the eclipse coming up.
I did not know that.
So there's a bunch of, there's a big belt across the, like a seat belt shaped transit, or transit, a seat belt shaped belt across the U.S. where you can see this.
The problem is the further north, I'm actually surprised they're doing it there and not in Lake San Antonio, because the further north you go, the greater chance you have of being obscured by clouds.
Like upstate New York is going to get this next one.
Indianapolis is going to get this next one like St. Louis, I think.
And I want to, personally, I want to go to San Antonio and like watch it on the riverwalk.
Oh, I've lied.
The Indianapolis one is in six months, not the one happening this weekend.
Oh, yeah, that's for the next big eclipse in April.
What are you doing?
I just watched the eclipse here with a gigantic big steak sandwich that, you know,
pound it out to like the size of a hubcap
but the bun is still really little. I know
I know this is not I'm double checking
I know this doesn't line up with the calendar
I'm watching it through the state. It could actually could
so the NFL draft
which is oh my god
Detroit this year is supposed to be April
25th and 27th
but this eclipse that we are
talking about is
is I think March
May 8th or something
No way, I just had it.
How am I fucking mess up?
It's fine.
Like, why not have some event?
Yeah, April 8th.
So you could do this.
And then that's the last one for like 20 years, by the way.
So why not have, well, what do you think would be better?
We have the NFL draft on that day because that's, I think that's enough time for us to convince the Jets fans that they can turn off the sun with if they're displeased enough with their pick.
Like, that would be...
Boo, the eclipse rolled up.
Boo!
Fuck you, Jupiter, boo!
The fucking son's done with his fucking team.
Hey, Hera, what that thing do?
Like...
Oh, huge fights breaking out over whether they're using the Roman or Greek Pantheon.
Burn it all down.
I don't want to watch us lose to the Pats again.
My family's been Zoroastrians for 200 years.
The Patriots suck right now.
I don't know what accent.
They probably won't lose to the Pats ever.
But yeah, I...
Pretty good Jets fan guy.
Pretty good, buddy.
Is this how they feel when they try to do Southern?
Like, with all due respect to Detroit, which is a perfectly fine city,
like, we should move the 2024 NFL draft to Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the eclipse.
At least, at least the first pick should coincide with the...
And there should be a live race going on the whole time.
So you can't hear shit.
So it's like, with the first pick!
Mew!
And the sun is being blotted out.
Yeah.
The planets are moving even faster.
Oh, man, Indies, indie race in total darkness.
And again, I'm eating a storm drain-sized steak sandwich
and watching the eclipse through it, a poke two little holes through it.
We could trick out all the cars with neon like they do at 24 hours of Daytona.
Yeah.
Race it at night.
Yeah.
Yep.
Here for it.
Yeah.
As they announce, Shedur Sanders, the number one.
draft pick for the Houston Texans.
I don't know.
Texas will be there.
Who's going to be, oh, God, it'll be the Brown.
No, we'll be the Browns.
Who's it going to be?
The Panthers have the worst record right now.
It might be the Falcons.
They're not getting that draft pick because that goes to the bears.
The bears are not going to keep that pit.
The bears are not going to take a, is it going to be a Viking?
Sure.
You know what?
That's not a bad call.
That's not a bad call at all.
New York Giants, they suck.
duck. They're fucking terrible.
Good job giving
Danny Dimes all the money.
Dude, if he goes to the Giants,
there's a better than even chance that like a
Dion Payton Eli three-way
feud spills on to ESPN2.
Best television ever. With the first pick
that Chicago Bears select
Bo Nix of the University of Oregon.
And then the sun explodes.
Because what
is the total solar eclipse
but a giant fucking O
go ducks. That's right. And I'm
holding up the again i've got the steak sandwich so i'm good it'll shield me from the explosion
totally fine
Welcome to the show.
Shut down, Foolcast.
You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast.
Are we recording?
We are recording.
I am Spencer Hall joined this week by Ryan Nanny, Holly Anderson, and Michael Cerberon.
Jason's not dead.
Jason is not dead.
Jason is tending to important business.
We say it so confidently.
Schrodinger's Kirk, yes.
Almost positive that Jason is not dead.
Do not send Jason your blood.
Jason is not in the hospital as far as we know.
Also, stop sending Jason blood.
He's becoming far too powerful.
Also, we didn't kill Dick Butkiss.
Yep.
Who's Dick Butkiss?
Dick Butkiss.
I get some emails.
RIP, buddy.
Crunch course.
Wait, who said we did?
Is it because we brought up Crunch Course?
Yes.
I think there was a suggestion that by us bringing up Crunch Course, we brought
Dick Puckus to an untimely end.
I still say if any of that worked, we would have knocked off Kissinger three years ago.
Maybe we have.
Maybe these are just...
Where is his health bar?
Maybe these are life model decoys.
Please, I'm the street fighter or tech and music, because, you know, I do the...
Kissinger's down to one bar.
Fight.
No, no bar.
New bar right now.
Damn it.
He evolves into Mecca Kissinger.
You're not ready for it.
I hate these kind of bosses.
yeah it's all the ollieing that he's done remember skateboarding and his love of olling over trash cans is the only thing let's get that evil man alive this long i would like to begin with news of other no you would like to begin with a reminder of what that this episode is sponsored by the delicious taste of coors light mountain brood no mountain fresh that's closer yeah there's like five
words i have to remember what temperature cold what kind of sensation does it provide cool
sensation fresh refreshing mountain noun form i have to cough i don't remember your mountain
cold refre sound it out no refreshment no i don't play this game you sure come on
Mountain cold
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Made to chill
Thank you
Made to chill
There you go
I wanted to start
With just one little factoid
For those of you
Who endured the
USC Arizona game
Which
Remember last weekend
Kind of a bookend
Of two entirely
Different kinds
of excellent football games
filled with a lot of
But in the middle
Oh yeah
We actually could have
recorded an entire second show yeah on Saturday night after our initial show which began at like
1130 yeah if you didn't stay up I just a few things that happened they called the swinging gate
in the late two point conversion jedfish forgot the rules for double o t um a USC kicked a field goal three
feet that that was the thing that really and actually happened yeah like like you you getting out
of a sand trap is what it looked like yeah yeah maybe a little worse actually
right um it looked like what happened it honestly it looked a lot like when they go hey we've got
this complete amateur out here to kick a 25 yard field goal and if he does that he's going to win
this 2019 Chevy Impala from martin Chevrolet just down the road right aluminum down he's got to
win a 2012 lumina from the shit you know with a hundred and twenty three thousand miles
Chevy fart noise they and you see the product of them going lateral right which you should kick straight on
I'm just going to keep banging this this this this pot here until somebody listens except for what it's really funny like you're kicking it to dabbo's son they weren't trying they weren't trying to set up from there they fucked up a handoff and had to recover a fuck like they right there was almost a chance that they weren't even going to get to attempt it
wait did we cover the team kicking to dabbo's son because that was hysterical I believe we did okay um in this case USC attempts this field goal and it looks just like the guy kicking for a minivan with 120,000 miles on it
right at the Kennesaw State game that's that's exactly what it looked like and they still won
the game which is why i think you should rank them because if they have a defense this bad
and are this haphazard across the board and they are still winning their Arizona games and by
arizona games we mean any any game against the state of arizona in the pack 12 where you're
playing and unsuspectedly they come out of nowhere give you everything you can handle
and press you to the limit and make you look like an absolute basket case
and you're still winning, then I don't know, something's got to be good.
Everybody's shitting on them.
And I thought, yes.
The offense didn't look great either.
No, they look like garbage.
It's very easy to sort of take the like Alex Gridge sucks and the defense is, and yes,
like the defense is not good enough.
Although they, they like, truthfully, the defense probably saved their asses more than the
offense did.
Yes.
Against an Arizona team that a starter in his, in his second.
start through five TDs against USC's defense, which kind of again, every single sentence we say both supports and undermines the previous. That's how awesome USC is as a football team. A disaster and a success all at the same time unfolding simultaneously. To that point, I went and I decided to, you know, I was like, you know, did I miss anything about that game? Right?
I miss? Because, you know, you don't see
everything in real time. I do.
Yeah, okay.
Do you do?
I don't. So it was like, it was it really as bad
and as haphazard as I remember.
Are they,
are they kind of as out of control
as I thought they were?
Um, that was good.
Shotgun Spratling
caught this. What?
That's shotgun spratling a long time.
USC observer,
writer and fan.
he observed this that when it was 20 to 28 to 20 and on 28 28, 28,
28, 2 different plays, 2 different points in the game, USC had 10 men on the field, 10, 10 men on the field in the fourth quarter against Arizona.
Is it possible that this is like, that this has always been the case and there's just so much tape publicly available now that we're just noticing it more?
Like, I bet if you went back and looked at like, I don't know, 1994, you'd be like, oh, yeah, guys had 10 defenses constantly were accidentally having 10 men for one play.
And then, but like, we just didn't notice it unless they got killed on it.
I bet that's true.
I bet we go back and we notice all kinds of things.
Like, you go back and look at, you know, Doug Flutie's Hail Mary against Miami and you go, man, there's a dog on the field.
It's just like a German shepherd out there at the 35.
I bet that is true.
And because, you know, famously, like, if I thought about a play that in the pre-digital era
would have gotten this kind of scrutiny and did, it'd be the fifth downplay.
That's a big one because, you know, that one was televised.
And that's a pretty big mistake, right?
Like, that's a very obvious.
It's a mistake that literally has a number on it, right?
Like, although I've watched that.
And going back and watching it, if you, you, I wouldn't have picked it up.
Like, everything is so intense.
tense at that point, and they just keep going.
And you're so used to the refs and everyone going, okay, next play, that you'd just go,
oh, yeah, sure, that's what I'm supposed to do.
So I get why they missed it, you know, not, oh, what idiots.
I went, well, that is weird.
And yeah, you did make a mistake.
But everyone going with it, that makes total sense.
But I think you're right.
I think if you went and looked back, you'd probably find 10 men on the field way more often
than you think.
That's especially because I know there were way.
fewer people in charge of quality control sure yeah you had fewer coaches fewer analysts
whatever like yeah i'm i'm sure that was part of it you just had you just had ray ray
that was it you just had ray ray the defensive line coach you know it was just like yeah count a
two 11 you're like no i don't know if i trust you ray ray um i i am also and i know we talked
about this at great length on the after dark show
I am a little worried that Miami's failure to kneel,
I'm a little worried this is going to become Mario Cristobal's naked photo on a boat with a shark.
It should.
Like, I think, I think in the same way that everybody, like, Jim McIlwain could never escape that while he was at Florida.
even though it wasn't him and it had nothing to do with football like sure wasn't it
though okay like emotion wasn't that an emotional truth for legal purposes no it wasn't Jim
McAway and for spiritual purposes yes that was Jim McAway naked with that shark on it we can't
prove it wasn't Jim McElwain that's fair that's fair but also by the way if you want to know
the the pressures of a situation like that like of being
a guy in over his head at a job
where everybody's yelling you're over your head
the way he reacted
to that and the absolute hardo
idiot like what was the
I didn't watch the presser after that because we were doing the show
oh he's heated he was totally like
like you want to talk about Mario
was he heated at himself
Mario no Mario was kind of just resigned
He just sort of like and I think
subsequently because it's it's been
the offensive coordinator has
come out and said that he was the one who made that
call and now like
soinks the
the level of attention that
everyone Miami fans included
are giving to this now to the
like where yes
what was this running back probably down
yeah but that's not what they called yeah
I think it was they called I'm sorry
all right
they're trying to like lip read
Mario to sort of like there's a
suggestion that he told the offensive
coordinator you probably want to
kneel it here but didn't tell him to
call a needle down just let him call
running play so can i take the wheel here for a moment i uh you all know that since since
florida international and his unceremonia's ousting uh i've been a mario fan uh i've been a
mario defender um that that that train derailed on saturday night but i think this should hang around
Because I am hoping that if this hangs around, it may have the power to affect change.
Because here's the thing.
There's like three, okay, here's three or four things.
One, this was worse than the Oregon fuck up.
People are talking about how he lost the Stanford game in this same way.
This is actually worse.
As Split Zone Duo, an NFL podcast pointed out on Monday of this week,
a first down in that Stanford
Oregon game has value. Right. Not here. Right.
There we're ahead. Second of all,
that first one clearly did not
dog him enough to affect change
because here we are doing it again, worse, in a different
program, in a worse situation.
And this wasn't every level of failure
and that's what concerns me. Like, they were already not having the best turnover look that night.
Oh, they played a terrible game. Right. I don't blame, I don't blame the kids at all in the
situation. It's the, you know, we talk about this, whether it's, you know, whether it's Michigan
developing a quarterback, whether it's, uh, you know, Tennessee doing literally everything.
We say over and over again that these guys are paid millions and millions of dollars to put
their players in a position to succeed. But,
before you can do that, before you can
capably do that, you
have to put yourself in a position
to succeed. And that sounds like Pablum,
but here's what I mean.
Mario is
demonstrably
a great recruiter
and I think
he's building, I think he's building
something there at Miami.
Here's another problem
that Split Zone pointed out that Alex, I believe,
pointed out. The
way this is going, if change
if change is not made at the in-game coaching level,
the players are going to get better
because he's, you know, he's recruiting talent.
The level of overall talent on the player is going to rise,
on the roster is going to rise.
The players are going to get better,
and this is going to happen again.
There's no, there's nothing to suggest that this won't happen again.
There are so many different ways to be successful as a head coach.
No one thinks less.
I mean, there are many reasons to think less of him.
Nobody thinks less of Dabo for running his program in the CEO model and hiring play callers.
And hiring play callers to compliment him.
There would be absolutely nothing wrong.
No one would bat an eyelash.
In this case, I think people would celebrate if Mario turned in-game mechanics over to coaches who focused on that.
and only on that and focus on what he is good at which is bringing in this talent which is
bringing in this talent and building this program but he seems either he won't do that
or he's being held back by some unknown force at the university from doing that and I don't
see how this program overall moves forward like I'm not I'm not calling for him to be
fired, but I don't see how they move forward without making changes in the way they do things
during games. And if they are the ones who are able to make that decision and they can't see
that, then this needs to be their albatross around their necks until they do.
Yeah. And this is, this is, and I think that's pointing to like Miami's still making great
progress. I know it's a weird thing to end up here. No, it is. A weird place to end up to go.
The problem is, the problem is this danger, this, this danger remains.
They were 23.
They're going to lose a bigger, what if they lose a bigger game like this with better players?
Let me flip that.
They were 2320, despite the fact that they had five goddamn turnovers in that game.
Five.
Five.
And they were, like, they had four prior to the last fumble, and they were still going in the position to ice it.
The improvement of the program is not a doubt.
I disagree.
That combined with the O...
You disagree that the program's improving?
I think the fact that, like, A, the turnovers don't just happen out of nowhere.
And some of those throws Tyler Van Dyke made were just wrong decisions, bad choices.
By the way, all credit to Georgia Tech, by the way, their defensive coordinator came out with a brilliant plan despite the fact that he had been on the job a week.
Right.
A week.
Georgia Tech just got rid of their defensive coordinator.
And so my thing is...
And still doesn't get to take full credit for this win.
They play their asses off, and they're, you know, they're in a hole, too.
My thing is, like, I agree and appreciate with what Holly is saying about, like, if you, if it keeps going this way, it'll just get, it'll just happen on a bigger, worse stage.
But, like, this game shouldn't have been, on paper, this game shouldn't have been close.
Not in this year.
They shouldn't have been, the, like, the flaw from, like, a coaching and division.
perspective is you weren't leading by 17 points at this point in the game.
This, like, I don't, I don't, I don't look at this Miami team and say, like, oh, this is
wildly removed from the team that won 1412 in four overtimes against Virginia last year.
Thank you for reminding me about that game.
Like, the team that lost to Clemson by 30 to Florida State by 42 to last year's
Pittsburgh team by 26, to Duke last year by 24, to Middle Tennessee by two touchdowns?
Like, I, the only point of evidence in the other direction, based on who they played so far,
is the Texas A&M game.
And I don't know that there's enough to take away from that at this point.
Like, they successfully scored a lot of points on Texas A&M, but, well, we're,
I don't think we're, if we're going to make that argument, then I think we probably have to wait until the end of the season because we have a sample size of six.
That's totally fair. That's, that's totally fair.
Also, what did Mario do the day after this game?
When it a four-star wide recruit.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I just, and I don't know why I'm trying.
This is a reflex I have that I try and try.
I bang my head against the wall to try and make things make sense, regardless of whether or not there are things that are inherently sensible.
but I cannot understand what is preventing them.
Like, he can't like play-calling.
I don't, maybe I don't play enough golf to understand the pleasure of doing something over and over and over again that you're terrible at.
It's not even, it's not even play-calling.
It's like management.
Yeah.
And, like, who, but, like, he's so clearly an ace at this other part of the job.
And, again, absolutely no.
one that we know about you know i don't know how the university president feels about this or whatever
but absolutely no one would bat an eyelash if he turned you know if he turned in game management
over to an oc there are plenty of coaches who do what is the deal like i keep i keep running up
against this not because like i have any particular emotion attached to miami as because it
doesn't make sense and that's making me crazy yeah i i guess
I don't like there's there's a solution here that would help you and as far as we know harm no one so what gives so with like and until I think this again I think this should dog them until some kind of changes made because it clearly didn't learn from the last one I do think you're seeing like just to get to like one little point beyond this I think you're seeing a lot of
lot of organizational like mayhem play out on the field in real time because I don't know if
coaching staffs know what they're doing anymore because they have to do so many things in so
many different directions and like like and I say that because that's what we're watching with
we're watching a lot of things happen with Florida at once but Florida is very much like we have
this met we know we're supposed to have like 300 people we don't know how to manage them all
And it's very, very clear that that's impacting some of what they do on the field.
The talent not being there, being very young, yes, all of that.
But there are serious management issues because I think you're seeing coaches struggle with that in real time.
I don't even know if Alabama's unaffected by that.
Tell me, watch Alabama on offense and tell me there's not some kind of management issue there,
some sort of organizational issue.
Because I think that's true.
Sometimes that comes out in process.
Sometimes that comes out in management.
Sometimes it comes out in game situations.
but like i think that's real i know lincoln riley is a good coach i do okay like he's very very good
but watch that team and tell me that they've got the org chart figured out they don't i
i this is this is a super cliche answer i think some of the differences between
some of these teams like one of the differences i think between alabama and usc for instance
is they figure out what to change in the middle of the game.
Like, this is, truthfully, this is what's made Florida State so good.
Florida State almost always has a quarter where, like, the thing just breaks,
where they can't move the ball, where they're not that great on defense.
Like, there was a long stretch of the LSU opener where it was like,
oh, this looks like it's going to go the complete opposite direction.
But, and the Clemson game was the same.
same way there's you know the second quarter of the virginia tech game like but i think good
teams can can change direction in a way that like i don't know that i don't know like USC
i i have never gotten the sense that like USC was like all right here's what the in-game
adjustments are going to look like yeah no that that bus is coming apart right speaking of
Speaking of games, it finished after we were done Saturday.
And now, by the way, I think there's a strength to teams that thrive despite those conditions,
and it's very hard to discern them from the ones that are on the verge of collapse.
You know, like, for instance, every Les Miles LSU team, every less Miles LSU team that was good
that you actually had to worry about would have several moments in the game where you go,
I don't know if you have enough dudes with headsets, right?
Just like, who's in charge of juice boxes? Who counted these guys?
guys, right? Like, they were always kind of on the edge of control there, too. So, like,
it's, it's a fine line, and I can't tell you where USC is on it. I'm pretty sure I know where
Miami is on it. Like, I'm pretty sure they're on the, they're on the negative side.
I mean, I mean, part of it also comes down to, like, can you win, we kind of glossed over it
on after dark, but like, A&M won, or Alabama, sorry, sorry, Annama, you didn't win that game.
Alabama won that game in a different way by throwing the ball, which is not a thing we have seen them.
That's not a way we thought they could win a big marquee football game.
And I think most good teams, this has been true for a long time, there is not just one path to victory.
USC only has one path right now.
It always looks the same and it's always on the quarterback.
and like that to me is the biggest question mark because and we know based on last year's
pack 12 championship game that like that puts you one injury away from no path there is no route
to vic to to to winning and like does that have anything to do with what's going on at
miami no not necessarily but i think maybe i guess what it is is that like the strategic choices
and sort of the competitiveness of Miami at this point under this coaching staff,
like, I don't even know if they have one consistent path.
I don't know.
Forget multiple.
What does one path to victory look like for Miami?
I know Florida doesn't happen.
We don't have to talk about them.
No, we don't.
By the way, like, in Elvarez.
Flores' path to victory is play Vanderbilt this year.
Yeah, you want to talk about how, like, little.
Did you guys win?
Did you beat Vanderbilt?
We did be Vanderbilt.
That's good.
Thank you for asking.
Sometimes it doesn't happen.
That's good.
Yeah.
Progress.
Glad to hear that.
It's important to celebrate the small victories.
I, if you wanted to know, by the way, you say Alabama had a resort to passing,
they have tried to do a little bit of the RPO according to Clark Brooks,
aka SEC Statcat, who you should absolutely follow on the social media app of your choice.
Clark said that they tried basically eight inside zone reeds and one duo dive.
And all of them, but one failed.
All of them.
Like, they are you playing video game football.
Their biggest gainers were hitch and go and, and smash, basically.
Like, that was, they are running exactly what you run in video game football, except their forverts didn't work either.
There's so much, there's so much that doesn't work even with teams that win, right?
Yeah, sure.
Thank you, Jimbo, for punting on fourth and one.
and when the game was tied.
I think that if you want to know what else helps you,
the other guy being worse at these things absolutely helps you.
It's not even necessarily worse.
It's like this is what stuck out about the Arizona game was.
And Jedfish said if he knew the rule,
if he had a better understanding of the rules,
he would have made the same decision.
But at the end of the first over time,
which is the first half of that sentence completely putting the lie
of the second half of that sentence?
I mean, I think it's mostly,
just like
emphasizing
I'm not stupid
and therefore I'm not
wrong because I'm stupid
I'm wrong because you disagree with me
like it's not a failure of ignorance
it's a failure of strategy
he's arguing it is a failure of ignorance
no he's because he was saying
even if I had known
even if I had remembered
that I have to circle of truth
he's ignorant but that it doesn't matter
yes that it would not have done the same thing
Which I think, like, can we all agree that if the answer coming to second OT is to go for your two-point conversion and you're going to call your best two-point conversion and Caleb Williams is on the other side of the field?
There we go. That's the thing. I don't care if you know what the rule is or not. How can you be at the end of that game and say that you would rather go up against Caleb Williams than USC's defense at that time?
Yes, because what it presupposes is like,
to get to have this come into effect you have to score another touchdown like like and there's
for all the things you're like well maybe we'll get a pick or maybe they'll you know we'll stop
him on fourth down all that shit can happen to you too you've got like one do you think it'll
do you think it's more likely to happen to you against Caleb Williams well yeah and you have
and how many he's defense how many two point you have your best two point play you might have
another one that's I have a question that maybe you will know I don't talk to coaches I don't
know ball I'm an idiot like let's just put that right out sure um Ryan yeah there's it
I don't know football strategy you know listen listen you say you don't know ball
remember when we were talking about how uh remember when I was telling that story about my
father-in-law who's a family physician talking about how there's a family physician talking about how
there's dumbasses in every office like every every workplace is a workplace just like any other
yeah there are coaches out there who just really like football yeah who are playing
who are playing marvel snap on their phones on the sideline during games there have to be
some yes like and i'm just saying this by by odds this is a profession there are like any other
there are smarties and dumbasses in every profession there are there are dumb asses in every profession there are
Dumbasses in NASA, there are, there are, you know, there are everywhere.
Is astronaut the one job where we're pretty sure, like, there are no super dumbass astronauts?
I don't know, man.
All right, the ones that go to space.
How about that?
What if they were real handsome?
I mean, I'm, I'm sure we probably got one or two.
We've sent one or two dumbasses to space.
Why am I going to space?
Because you got a great don't.
You got a dog so good.
It looks good in the space suit.
How do you get that kind of underbutt definition with 70s?
18 layers of airproof.
That's America's space ass.
Listen, I'm just saying like there is.
We brought the Gemini mission back because there's some twins down there.
I was talking a few minutes ago about my, my self-appointed mission to put, thank you, that was beautiful, to put sense to everything, even whether or not it's destined to make sense.
There are moments, there are moments that we are never going to know about where coaches were probably just.
really hungry or sleepy, because they're people. Yeah.
Really hungry, really sleepy. Thinking about how they have not finished
tears of the kingdom, you know, thinking about how one of their, thinking about how one of their
kids got thrown out of a pumpkin patch for brawling this week. I have an example that I know
I can point to and say something happened to you that day. I'm not calling football coaches. I'm not
calling football coaches stupid as a group. I'm calling them a representative of
sample of the population.
Maybe your coach's polo is just itchy today.
Yeah.
Maybe they're smart as shit.
There's a tag.
There's a tag, Ryan.
I told Sharon, I have a skin allergy.
Yeah.
Like Mike Gundy, I'm a man.
I'm 40.
Whatever happened in his house that day on very little sleep.
Like he burned like four toaster waffles in a row.
And a kid had something bad happen at school.
And when something bad happens to your kid at school, like, it does.
You're just like, listen, the world's horrible.
My kid's finding this out one day at a time.
It sucks.
So my point is whenever these things happen and we get in the press conference room after
and we get into breaking it down on the radio and our columns in the next day,
we always try to ascribe workplace-related reasons.
Sure.
We always try to ascribe workplace-related reasons to what happened.
And statistically, that cannot be true.
And now I'm thinking back to Miami.
And I'm like, has Mario just had really bad luck, like, fishing on the way?
I guess, did he just have a really bad summer of deep sea fishing and it bugs him?
I think even beyond that, like, Miami's decision to run the ball in that situation is not like, it's easy to sort of be like, oh, they wanted to get him 100 yards or, oh, they just like, did you open three skunked hard seltzers in a row the night before and you're still mad about it?
And you're thinking about how you have to be seen returning something to publics and how you're going to look like an idiot.
But that's three skunk-tart shelters in one six-path.
You know, it makes anything real or good in this country anymore.
We used to make things in this country.
The example I was going to use, have you ever, have you ever gone to look for your phone while you're holding your phone?
Yeah.
Have you ever turned your phone flashlight on to look for your phone?
That's the thing I've done before.
Here's a lady specific one.
Have you ever lost your phone and called it from somebody else's phone and it's in your bra?
like there is a level of that my of the decision making at the end of the
Miami game which is not your chest was better it's just like you just fucking put
it on autopilot your brain just sort of was like I don't know I just want to be done
with this you just switched banks and you paid the electric bill by accident right out of
your old account right now it's going to bounce on the only way they will let you change
it is if you physically go go to the power company I don't but I don't do it over the phone
They have a fax machine.
I have to go to Illinois.
I don't live in Illinois anymore, but I'd go there.
Maybe we're not, like, maybe the mistake we're doing, maybe the mystery that we're all
hunting for, the reason we can't find it is because it is nowhere in the football building.
Sure.
It is just out here living life, having shitty vibe days, the same day, the same as the rest of us.
Please.
Because that is like, that's a really good point because he's like, well, what was Mario Cristobal's shitty day?
the rest of the Georgia Tech game
was his shitty day.
What was the offensive coordinator
shitty day? The four
fucking turnovers they had before
this. Yeah. I remind you,
football. And also, what if, like, what if
one of them had forgotten
something, you know, one person on the
sideline forget something, has
to go, has to run back to the football
building, which is not close to hard rock.
You know, has to run back to get
their, you know, their polo or whatever.
And they miss dinner. And they're
hangary for an entire game.
Like where there are so many I it it kind of I kind of feel like I'm in the allegory of
the cave right now and in front of me is the press conference podium and I turned
back and there's just a field of stars some of some of the stars are shit that went wrong
that some of it is also and I'll get back to my original question to Spencer in a second
here some of it is also like who you are and how you got there like when and
And I'm sorry to bring this one up.
It's just the one that came to mind.
When Tennessee had 13 men on the field against LSU and they thought...
I don't remember that.
I think it was 12.
However, when they had an...
Oh, sorry, I went the wrong direction.
I meant to make it worse.
I think it was 14.
When they had an excess of gentlemen participating in a football...
I think part of what blunted it or why it wasn't like as big of...
Why it wasn't made as much of was like, is Derek Dooley?
And Derek Dooley was not the first choice for that.
job and Derek Dooley was like, nobody was like, ah, this is, this is the man who's going to
fix what's wrong with Tennessee. But like, man, Miami, he had good manners. Miami, y'all made
such a big deal about Mario Cristoball. And people said, these are his flaws. These are his
limitations. Saw it coming. And when that comes home to roost, it just feels like it gets treated
differently. Here's the question I was going to ask you, Spencer. This is going back to USC. We're
talking about a lot of football in this episode. And I apologize.
apologize everybody again. Sorry about that. I want everybody to know. This is supposed to be about the eclipse. I want everybody to know. I do have a tab open on my computer that says you can visit a mountain of mannequin parts in the English countryside and we will get there. The notion of your best two point conversion play. Is that a thing football coaches are like yes. We have our we have okay. Okay. 100% they go okay. It depends on the kind of coach but everybody has like if I'm thinking about coaches like dabbo who may remain may not like I'm thinking about the business.
those types. But if you're like a ball coach, ball coach, you have pet plays. Okay. So knowing that. And by the way, they might change. They might change. It might be an in game thing. Okay. Well, we've seen this. And that's what we'd go for. But it's a thing you practice. It's a situation you practice for. And you have and you don't have like 500 plays for that situation. Sure. You got like four. Maybe you've really at by the end of the game. By the end of the game and Belichick is this is like straight Velichick. But by the end of the game,
You really have, like, you start with the whole playbook, and by the end of the game, you have like four things that are working, three things.
And you just keep running those over and over again.
Well, you also have another potential hurdle here, which is you have favorite plays and they're not working, but you have guys who are extremely, like, past the point of fault monogamous with these plays who are just going to keep trying, putting the five-sided peg into the six-sided hole, no matter what.
The Paul Johnson, yeah.
Because when it works, it's sweet.
Mm-hmm.
It's like Novocaine. It'll work eventually.
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Can I tell you all about the mountain of mannequin parts in the English countryside?
Or do we have more football?
I have one more football thing.
Oh, I wanted to get to the Carolina Panthers statement on Israel.
I've got one more thing.
All right.
I need you to watch Mark Stoops in that Twitter.
I dropped a link.
We can edit this out if you don't want to wait for us all to watch it.
But I need you to play that audio of him talking about.
of him talking about why they lost to Georgia.
Server, can we put this, can we drop this audio in here?
You know, the other side, if you want to do that, it's plain, complain, deny, or make excuses.
And we're not going to do that.
You know, it is what it is.
And, you know, fans have that right.
I give it to them.
You know, I just encourage him to donate more because that's what those teams are doing.
And I can promise you in Georgia, they bought some people.
pretty good players you're allowed to these days and uh we could use some help that's what they
look like you know what i mean when you have 85 of them so so uh i encourage uh anybody that's disgruntled
to to pony up some more this reminds me of something dino babers said a very similar thing
in a different direction but in a similar sort of like uh this is the reality of college football
today after they got shellacked by unc dino baber's base i'm going to paraphrase
was basically like we have no depth because the transfer portal has just completely eaten it away.
Like we have, we schools like Syracuse and Kentucky might be one of these schools as well,
cannot build up 85 players worth, you know, even like, you know, 45 players worth of like high quality depth
because the way it works now is even if you do manage to get them to your school in the first place,
they're going to leave they're going to go they're going to go get poached and play somewhere else not saying
that's good or bad not not ascribing a value judgment to it but like it's interesting that these two
both had similar like systemic issues that they wanted to raise but i don't think that's what you
want to say about this spencer no no if you if you want to see a man who is firmly into the like
this is my bag full of fucks and it is very empty the posture is really giving it away you can't
see the posture on a podcast but mark stoops is kicking it he is so he is slid down that mark
stoops is not a small man right he has he's seated next to a co-host yeah yeah he is slid
down so far and his he is he has slid down like half baked style yeah he's reclass he's below
he's below the other gentleman's shoulder he has partaking of some fine kentucky bluegrass i have a
feeling life life is a locker room in here right life is his low rider and he is moving at about
miles an hour. That's the pose that he's in here. And the quote that when asked about the differential
and talent and the outcome, the quote from Mark Stoops is this, I can promise you Georgia, they bought
some pretty good players. You're allowed to do that these days. And we could use some help. That's
what they look like these days if you have 85 of them. I encourage anybody disgruntled to pony up
some more. Friend. Horse metaphor. Neighbor. Listen.
Listener, Americans,
international listeners,
humans.
This is the voice of a man
who doesn't give a shit.
Not one red,
scent, zero
fucks, not a care
in the world.
To review, okay, over the past
two years, Mark Stoops has one,
gone head to head with the basketball
coach at Kentucky.
Something. And one.
And one. And one.
been photographed fairly recently with Rick Petino.
Been photographed recently with Rick Petino, okay?
I believe sells his own bourbon,
has, and is now openly telling everyone,
hey, if you don't like the job I'm doing,
you guys should just write some checks
so I could buy some players.
That'd be great.
Otherwise, I'm going to be over here.
Doing me.
So clearly aware that they cannot do better than him, right?
And he's right.
He's right.
Like, he's, you know, he didn't get along with you.
athletic director, and I don't know the origins of that few, but I don't know why the
athletic director thinks for one second that he can do better. I mean, part of this as well
is like Kentucky laying the egg against Georgia, lining up, which we appreciate it again because
they did it right away and let us move on with our day. 100%. But when you do it, the same day
that Louisville beats Notre Dame, it's just like, God do it. No. Yeah, of course, Ryan, you would say
that because you would be thinking like a person
with considerations and recognizing your potential
insecurity in the position.
Yeah, but could he have done that with Scott Satterfield's players?
Sorry, I almost got that out.
Dude, Louisville's so funny right now.
If you want to talk about teams that I love watching
right now, Louisville is so in the like,
here is my 400 horsepower playbook
and my 185 horsepower roster
and it just keep trying to match them together.
I didn't need a converter for this.
No, brother.
If watching Louisville is like watching someone try to run a huge video game on a real shit computer, that's what it's like.
Like, I don't know, crashed again. The lag's insane.
They're great. And they're still winning. They're still winning. That's why I love watching them because you go, I see what this is really supposed to look like.
And we are so far off that because you just dropped off the server again because your graphics card is melting.
but I love it.
I love watching them.
But yeah, Mark Stoops.
Mark Stoops just doesn't,
Mark Stoops is daring you to say some shit about the job he is doing.
Just two weeks removed from, again,
beating Florida for the third time in a row and making Kentucky look like.
What is Kentucky 5 and 1?
Yeah.
They're fine.
They're going to go to the Citrus Bowl or something.
They lost it.
And they lost the defending national champions.
Also, you're Kentucky.
Like, he's a folk hero, man.
Yeah.
I mean, if the standard is we couldn't beat Georgia, who is the last team that did that now?
Goodness.
Oh, man, that is.
You got to go back to 2021, and it's in the SEC championship game.
You got to go back to 2021.
It's in the SEC championship game.
Oh, I thought you met the last time Kentucky beat Georgia, and I was like, oh, no, no, no, no.
The last time anybody beat Georgia.
yeah uh the last time oh uh classic the last time anybody from kentucky beat georgia was 2009 a mark rick
rich rich briggs rich brooks classic in athens 34 27 mark rook mark rick actually to actually lost uh
actually lost two of four there they lost the oh six game as well and then before that if you want a uh oh my god
Before that, if you want a Kentucky loss to Georgia, you have to go back to...
A Kentucky loss or a Kentucky win?
Oh, sorry, a Kentucky win to Georgia.
You have to go back to Jim Donnan versus Bill Curry in 1996.
Oh, yeah.
That's a client, too.
Good night.
Ray Goff and Jim Donan each only lost once to Kentucky.
Oof.
Zoinks.
Yeah.
So, like, you've got, I mean, Mark Rick, in all of his tenure,
lost twice to Rich Brooks.
Hey, Rich Brooks had some shit to say this weekend.
Did you see this?
No.
No, did you?
No, I'm answering sincerely.
He is reposting a tweet from college football report
saying Mario is now 71.68 as head coach.
He has the 12th most talented team in college football
and just lost to Georgia Tech at home.
It's looking like the same story at Miami as it was at Oregon.
He is an average head coach considering the talent advantage.
And Rich Brooks put it up there.
And Rich Brooks, who, like, for people who don't know, all he tweets about is, like, golfing and fishing.
Rich Brooks has the life, man.
He did a good tomato that he ate.
Rich Brooks did the Chiswick thing, and he finished the fucking drill.
He did not go back to defensive coordinate for any weird old wizard and is just out there living his outdoor life.
Okay, is this where we should acknowledge that UNC's defense does look very good this year?
Okay, yes, yes. I mean, I wasn't aware that was in dispute.
No, it's just, it's just sort of like, you know, if we're going to bring up Gene Chisick not being able to leave the life behind like John Wick, we should.
I know, but how long? Okay, sorry, how many years has he been back?
Two, I want to. I don't think it's been that long, has it?
Okay, he was, he was, sorry, not to use this twice, but he was rich when he started and he's still rich now, correct?
That's true. Yeah, that's true. Um, he, yes, last year he came.
back as assistant head coach slash
defensive coordinator. Wait, it was just last year?
Just last year. God, it feels like so much
longer. I think this is a second return.
Okay, that's why.
But yeah, Kentucky gets
to play, look ahead of the schedule.
I think the next
yeah, the
last six games will really tell you if this
is like a legit Kentucky team or not. They got to
play Missou. They get to host
Missou and Tennessee.
They also get to host Alabama.
and then they
uh and then they'll go to louisville i'm assuming like
if they don't beat mississippi state and south carolina there's a bigger problem to play
here but it's like is there is there a path where you get to
nine wins here sure absolutely that'd be a great year like
i don't think i don't know i miss if things have really changed in kentucky
you know we have said for years
Rich Brooks has one of the best jobs because it comes with a healthy set of expectations.
But if the expectations are changing to you need to beat Georgia or be extremely competitive
with them, the Kentucky job is going to suck.
Yeah.
Because I don't know, like, then he is right, unless there's a shit ton of money coming
into Kentucky football.
I don't know how you get there.
And even then, that's not going to stop Georgia from being Georgia.
If any of you want to do something about it, write a check.
I'll be over here watching horses.
You know what?
I'm going to start to, that's it.
If you think the shutdown forecast is not as good as it used to be,
write a goddamn check about it.
That's what you need to do.
That's right.
So we can bring in some prospects.
We need to get better hosts, but we don't have the money for that.
Let's get A.J. Hawk to just nod over here on the right.
Now I'm going to tell you about the map.
Yeah, but once they get better host, they're still going to have Spencer and Jason to deal with.
Hey, hey.
Damn.
Hi.
What's up?
There is a mountain.
This is not a new story.
I want to make clear.
This has been around since at least 2021.
But in the English countryside
near Fulbeck, England.
Sorry, near what?
F-U-L-B-E-C-K.
Shut down Fulbeck.
Got it, yeah.
Okay.
There is a mountain of mannequins that you can go
And for 50 pounds, at least as of a couple years ago, who knows about inflation, Biden?
You can drive into the site and fill your trunk with as many mannequins or pieces of mannequins as you would like to take home with you.
So we're going.
The most popular, well, what do you think?
What do you think of the most popular mannequin item is?
It's a piece of a mannequin, not a mannequin.
Heads.
Head.
God be heads.
The most popular bits are a female torso, usually headless, so that they can fit a lamp on top.
Let's hope.
Oh, that's why.
Yeah, that's why.
It's definitely for a lamp on top and nothing worse or more distrously than that.
I was going to say feet, but I thought that was too gross.
But this is worse.
Yep.
Yep.
Wait, a lamp like some fucked up Christmas story?
Yeah.
I think that's correct.
Yes.
But that was a let.
That was a leg.
No, that's what I'm saying.
That's why it's fucked up.
Yes.
That's what I'm saying.
Did the first person who asked for a female mannequin torso not have a plan in advance?
And so he was just like, um, it's for a lamp, like a Christmas story.
And then everybody in line behind him was like, yeah, yeah, it's for a female torso lamp.
That's totally a thing.
Maybe in British Christmas story, it is a female torso.
I have included in the chat here a photo of some of the men.
Like, that's the other thing.
It's not just standard like, oh.
Oh, I saw this at Macy's mannequins.
There's some fucked up looking mannequins in here.
I have so many thoughts on all of them are bad.
This looks like if you typed in AI murder mannequin.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
It is online at something, and the ticket for it, which remains 50 pounds, as of today,
is something called Drive-Thru Body Part Heist.
home
I
okay
I just like
I think it's important
that we break down
our misconceptions
of how fancy
different cultures are
because if you ask me
which country has
a mountain full
a mountain of mannequins
that you can just come
and fill your trunk with
for a reasonable price
England or America
well played England
yeah like
this sounds like a
this sounds like a
an annex to
the abandoned luggage depot in Alabama.
Yes, yes, except much more distressing.
I have one more thing I want to bring up very quickly.
In Fair England has had longer to develop a program of being completely disturbing and deranged.
That's a good point.
They said they was going to throw them in the bin.
I said, no.
We were cycling in it.
Boy, that's me, torso.
One man's rubbish.
She's another man's lamb.
this is this is firmly establishing britain in the in the boobs country not the ass country
every country is either a boobs or ass country they have obviously opted for the boobs country
sure um i would also and i think this will come out the day yes you'll hear this episode the day
that the episode is airing katie nolan is on celebrity jeopardy this week and is part like got a
dream pair of celebrities to be paired up with, in my opinion.
Sherry Shepard and Mr. SVU cake himself, Christopher Maloney.
Well, like, what a, like, what a fucking dream to be on that panel.
I don't, I think, I think Katie's won just by being part of that.
They're both a little too smart for me. I want like Wolf Blitzer on one side,
right? And then I was trying to think of who I wanted on.
jeopardy and I want gnaws on the other now I'm not saying this is because
gnaz is going to fight the whole time about how these answers are right because
remember gnaz is not stupid it's just that gnaz has different information
he's going to just six right he's going to disagree with that you know he'll be like
well that's what you were taught we haven't had 16 presidents that's a lie yeah there's
phantom time and I'll be like oh come on now meanwhile wolf flitzer will just suck
like will flitzer will suck out loud my left speaking of jeopardy
y'all know who
is making a repeat appearance
on the celebrity format
our very own Uncle Skip
oh that's right
hell yes
spot Uncle Skip
hope you're listening
I hope he did well
because you probably already filmed it
I don't watch Jeopardy
so I'm not sure
how late this is
Jeopardy filled in real time
would be horrifying
I have
I will say I have seen the outfit
that was worn
and I can't confirm
that British Knights
were a part of the
ensemble good nice skip crush it fucking stunt on him I can't I can't I'm not I don't
I don't think I'm allowed to talk he's a celebrity oh come on this is what are you
going to do with your winnings this is actually the champions wild card that
he's a part of oh yeah I did not mean to sound insulting missing I don't watch
Jeopardy I cannot abide the face of Ken Jennings that's fair like many of us are
not Levar Burton but some of us could try a little harder
than others.
This is why Tracy Morgan should have been named host of Jeopardy.
Oh.
Wrong.
Just imagine him saying wrong.
Sorry.
I can't even do it Tracy Morgan.
No, what do you, what does that even sound?
I don't know.
I can't do a New York accent.
I can't do Tracy Morgan.
The important thing is that you believe you can.
I can give away.
I can't give away.
That's flight.
Last Monday, he did win his quarter final.
matchup and he is now advanced to the semifinals what celebrities has he
these are not these are not celebrities these are these are all these are jeopardy champions
katrina hill is a celebrity to us okay yeah celebrity to us fuck yes skip so skip has uh has moved on
to the semifinals the second part of the quarterfinals is this week and so big day for
naropa next week maybe all right so i'm going to scout
I'm going to scout Katie here.
I think her chances are pretty good.
Who are you more worried about, Maloney or Sherry Shepard?
Sherry Shepard, who did play Tracy Morgan's wife on 30 Rock.
Maloney doesn't have to have any hidden qualities because he looks like that.
Yeah, see, Sherry Shepard's on 30 Rock, and I think, like, you had to be pretty smart to just hang with the script at all.
So, like, you know, I'm, and she's definitely not going to be a friend.
afraid of the stage, which is a big thing on Jeopardy, right, that, you know, contestants kind of get starstruck by the environment and being on camera and the buzzer, etc. So I think she's going to handle that well. I like her, I like her fundamentals there. She was on the view for so long, though, and I'm worried that that's bad for your brain. I think that is bad for your brain. I think hosting almost any daytime television show is probably bad for your brain. Yeah. Except CBS Sunday morning. Fuck, I'd fuck with CBS Sunday morning.
Part of me feels that Maloney might have, this might have all been to reach this moment.
That is my, like, his entire life, his entire life and career might have led to this moment for him.
He was.
I could very much see that being the actual story that's happening that none of us will ever know.
He was a history major.
At Colorado.
At Colorado.
So he might have, he might have just a fraction of the power of Dan Carlin vibes coursing through
his veins. I feel real, uh, I feel, uh, real feelings for our buddy Dan Carlin right now,
who has to be going through it with this up and down Colorado program. He's, he's probably
feeling great. He's probably doing great. Like, not, because not only is Colorado much better than
they have been, they're literally being talked about as a history maker. Like, what more could
you ask for? Oh, okay. Yeah. Also, he knows the long arc of history. He's like, if you just give
them time.
They've started what is the germ.
Don't imitate somebody who's been on the show.
Of a beautiful flower that's going to blossom into an empire.
Yeah,
like that's better than his Tracy Morgan impression.
I didn't even believe in that impression.
That just came out.
It was bad.
Not all ideas are good, Ryan.
So are you,
so are you saying Katie Nolan is going to lose this Jeopardy round?
I mean, I'm going to, I'm going to go ahead and bet on Katie.
Okay.
Okay.
That's why, because sports people, obviously,
smartest people in the building.
How would they not be?
I really would like to see Boomer on Celebrity Jepardy at one point.
Boy, what?
Asiacin?
No.
No, you know that's not who I meant.
Or Berman.
Chris Berman is who I meant.
You know it.
I'd be like, I'm going to do great.
I went to Brown.
It finishes down negative 800.
You went to Brown?
He did.
go to Brown. Yeah. Semiotic's ass. Yeah, he might be, who knows, he might be incredible. He might
have already been on Jeopardy. That's how long the show has been, right? Like if, if I have to pick,
if I had to pick absolute, like, most of the people like, who would you pick, you know, is your ringer
on Jeopardy? I'm like, no, no, man, I want to pick the people I know. I'm going to dominate.
I want to pick a whole pool of people that I am going to absolutely clean out. Yep. You know?
Have you been, wait, have you been on Jeopardy? I forget. I am in the second
round of consideration but that they haven't called me but apparently like they'll just not call you
they'll not call you for years i took the test and i got the on camera
what did you wear game well no you didn't it's not that stage yet you didn't what do you mean you
didn't so the first stage so i'm not on jeopardy katyd olden is this week this is okay i got
i took the test i got the call back for the group stage the group stage is when they
at the time it was during the pandemic so they had a big zoom
call where everybody is sort of taking a live test together and they sort of see how you react
and how you look on camera, right?
And they don't tell you to wear anything special, so I didn't.
So you didn't, what?
Wear a shirt.
And at that point, that's when all communications ceased.
So I'm pretty sure I'm not.
But apparently, it could be years between that stage and when they call you for an on camera.
Claire wrote a whole fucking book about this and we're just out here pontificating.
Yes.
What would you wear on Jeopardy?
Not a suit.
I don't think that's going to be cool, man.
Are you wearing a dress shirt?
I'll wear a shirt.
I didn't say a shirt.
Well, yes, Spencer.
You must.
Why do you keep evading the question about whether or not you were nude on Jeopardy?
Trebex dead.
I'm not wearing a suit for anybody on that stage.
Maloney wore a suit.
You better than Maloney?
Yeah, he looks great in a suit.
look like a sack of shit in a suit, Ryan?
I think the suit grows on his body.
I think after a certain number of years on law and order,
the suit just fuses to you.
I look like Mr. Badger from
from like
the fabulous Mr. Fox in a
suit. It looks like garbage.
That's a compliment.
You did get some dude in your mentions
yesterday who looked like a fucking Redwall
escapee.
I did. I did.
Like, genuinely one of the weirdest look.
I say this as someone who
favorably compares herself to one of the contestants in Fat Bear Week.
But, like, there was a dude who looked like a fucking bipedal forest creature in your
middle this other day.
I had a guy today confidently tell me when seeing a picture of my younger self, say,
that's what, oh, now I know what middle-aged Josh Gad is going to look like.
What the fuck?
And he looked like, he looked like Buster Scruggs.
And I'm like, brother, you're in your.
Abby. You know that, right? You know that.
So yeah, Katie Nolan's going to smoke Christopher Maloney in short. I think it's over.
Sherry Shepard, I don't know. That's a wild card. But I think she's got Maloney down. Because
Maloney's handsome and being handsome will make you dumb. I would like if Maloney is comically dumb.
Like just amazingly dumb. Please. He might just be real dumb, huh? Yeah. But like endearingly dumb in a way where we like, oh, we like you more now.
my big sweet
but having boy
yeah it's like listen
all your all your
all your character points
they went
oh they went straight to cakes
yeah charisma
in charisma it's like charisma 10
agility zero
intelligence zero
cakes 10
just standing off
for the side of the stage
seething is Vincent
Dinafria who never got the call
all right
now I have to see if Vincent
Donofria
has been on Celebrity Jeopardy. Hold on.
Celebrity Jeopardy.
He has been a clue,
but he has not been,
I don't think he's been on Celebrity Jeopardy,
and that is a mistake.
Well, the best,
the best contestants,
the best celebrity Jeopardy contestants of all time.
I believe by winnings ever Michael McKeehan is up there sure nice which you know I don't think
surprises anybody Andy Richter this is before of course Jeopardy fans I know the the
dollar amounts were doubled at one point but so the OGs right the pre-2000s
Andy Richter was up there John Stewart I think was second Bob Covey
Costis is up there.
And of course, Jerry Orbach, shouts out.
Jerry Orbach.
Jane Curtin was really good on Celebrity Jeopardy, too.
Uh-huh.
Former Toxie Post House Parks was excellent on the show as well.
Jerry Orbach won 17 grand in 1993.
Sam Waterston, 188.
You know what?
I changed my mind.
law and order is a fucking breeding ground for celebrity jeopardy champions maloney in a walk
okay okay katy's gonna hear that
uh katy doesn't listen to this show
yeah she's got better things to do dude
yeah like who do you think is the most successful for maloney who's the most successful person
who listens to this show it's probably holly when server sends her the edit
uncle skip it's it's people who we don't want to name here because we love them too much
you don't want to embarrass them.
Yeah.
Andy Richter's still King, though, by the way, on Celebrity, Jeffrey.
Like, the most, we can beep this out.
The most successful person who listens to this show is, and I would never,
and I would never humiliate him by pointing that out in public that he listens to the show.
Yeah, you should just beep that, but leave that sentence in, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Do you want to get to the Panther statement on Israel?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hold on.
I have to call it up so I can read the comments.
it's not so much that the panthers had a statement on israel which they did
which okay but it's what happened next
like i think we've made a lot of progress in recent
in not a lot of progress but i think we've made some progress in recent years
in the arena of
you don't have to have a take on everything
I think that whether or not people
listen to that has heard that advice
that's up to them brands have not heard that advice
so the Carolina Panthers
in an Instagram post
by background white letters
California Panthers logo
in a statement that leads with
we stand with the people of Israel okay
NFL team issuing a statement on the recent violence
between Israeli armed forces and Hamas.
These are the responses.
And I know that you can get trapped in your own little channel,
your own little reef when it comes to social media.
And you might get used to a specific kind of internet discourse.
Honestly, I mentioned.
Never on the forecast. Never here.
No.
But, but, but this is the public forum where people come to share.
This is the act differing.
This is the agorah.
It's right.
This is where all the important of events are created.
Socrates is welcome here and we'll only poison him as a joke.
Yeah.
How much of a dick do you have to be for people to be like, just feed him poison?
It's not even that.
It's the great thing about Socrates being dick is it's like, oh, no, we would poison a lot of people if we got the chance.
Say you're sorry or take the poison.
I know that's not exactly how it would, but he was like, fuck you.
I'll take the.
That's, he should be the Miami head coach.
Socrates should.
yeah that's mark that's a mark stoop's ass opinion is what you're like yeah give me the poison
it actually makes perfect sense because you have a whole bunch of darrells in the miami
fandom just yelling fuck them up soccer but i'm sorry you were explaining our that is that i wasn't
our current uh thought thought center the carolina panthers yeah well my my mentions on twitter
aren't usually that bad so i really but i'm accustomed to the type of bad that they are but i've
been spending a little more time on other platforms recently for reasons and um
Instagram is one of them.
And let me tell you what?
Instagram comments?
They are...
Those people come from Facebook.
It's a different portal.
I have to remember it's a different portal.
It's also...
It's also...
They're getting all horned up in other places.
They got a lot of energy.
They just roll in with all kinds of frustrations and excitement.
People on Twitter are just reading words and reacting to those, but on Instagram, people
are looking at food or getting all horned up from AI, AI bikini butts, yep.
They do. And also, they're engaging with what is primarily a visual medium. Like, people on Twitter are like, I have words and where these are primarily a, you know, a word based medium. So I'm going to go ahead and use it on Instagram. It's like, fuck you paragraph. On Instagram, they're basically typing with their left hand brainwise, right? Because like the comments on an Instagram post are not the primary tool of interaction. It's the visual medium. And everybody's sort of playing with their, you know, they're using their second best two point conversion play. Right. This is Army through 15 passes.
this game. This is great. It's their passing game for a run team. Yeah. So I was not prepared for
spending a little more time on Instagram because God damn, y'all will say anything with your
Christian names, with your government names attached to your Instagram comment. Because
underneath the... You unlocked your Instagram and this is your fault. I'm going to ignore the
like... I would never. I'm not, I'm going to just skip past the 500 free Palestine's that come under this.
okay these are the top well that's that's the like that's the last part which is the funniest yeah like
there are these top comments and then it's just 500 free palestines here's which rare carolina
panthers fans dub we must acknowledge i'm going to skip a word i can't say with the top
most light comment on this which is we need to stand up for a goddamn win that's the most liked
comment on this post hold on hold on hold on we need to stand up for a goddamn win
like an NFL football regular season win.
Okay, gotcha.
Yep.
Yep.
Second comment.
Why are we giving all this money to Ukraine win?
Painters are your fucking own five.
Yeah.
That's probably in there somewhere because, well, when you hear the rest of the comments,
when you hear the rest of the comments, you'll understand.
Yeah.
Spencer, just go ahead and take a spin through these.
From someone else with their real name, their real goddamn name on here.
our situation is worse than theirs does he mean okay now here's one of my question does he mean
Joe Biden's America or does he mean the panthers he means the panthers okay yeah there are 90
replies to this I'm not reading any of them why would gentle people of the internet when you see
this when you see this comment you may feel the urge to reply and insist that no it is not
worse for the Carolina Panthers.
This person cannot be
reasoned with, cannot be understood.
Move on.
Don't waste this. You have only so much time
here on this earth. Don't spend
arguing with this particular
comment.
Colin Robinson is on the other end of that line.
Stronger than ever.
Just energy vampireing you.
Okay? Don't do it. Don't let him have it.
Okay.
From another person
with, again, I believe
their real name,
need to stand up to these teams
bullying, y'all.
Yeah.
And then can you stand,
can y'all stand with the people
of Charlotte for once?
If, if,
if, if,
if Instagram had been around
when JFK was assassinated
and the Cowboys had said any of it,
it would have just been like,
well, at least there's
somebody with accuracy in Dallas.
it would have just been just absolute nightmares
if the Cowboys
at the time had been like
we're so sorry to hear about what happened
to President John of Kennedy.
Oswald had more time
to get off those shots and back at a throat.
Secret service must play
defense for us.
Was the Cowboys line out drinking till five
in the morning too? Huh?
Need to worry a little bit less about January 6, a little bit more
about the first weekend in February to tell you what.
yeah if you want to know about media yeah like i i wasn't ready i wasn't ready i am what i consider
to be an internet veteran and i am not ready for the absolute neon garbage that you will see
on instagram there is one good one oh good
yeah i think it's a good a good a good end point a good a good punctuation mark to end on
and that is under the miami heat's statement of support for the people of israel
And the commenter who replied,
You are a basketball team.