Shutdown Fullcast - The Best Not-Football Things We Experienced

Episode Date: August 4, 2018

Here we are, rapidly approaching the end of the Not-Football. In this period of time, we, your hosts, have immersed ourselves in culture so that we might ignore our families unless they would like to watch us play video games. We have also done this so we can tell you about our experiences - the books, movies, TV, music, and so forth that we enjoyed the most during Not-Football, some of it hilariously dated because we're all living on dad time. Also, if you need to do a book report on The Great Gatsby but haven't read the book, just listen to this episode and you'll get a C. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Okay, you can do this. I know, I know. Carvana makes it so convenient to sell your car. It's just hard to let go. My car and I have been through so much together. But look, you already have a great offer from Carbana. That was fast. Well, I know my license played and been by heart, and those questions were easy. You're almost there.

Now to just accept the offer and schedule a pickup or drop off. How'd you do it? How were you so strong in letting go of your car? Well, I already made up my mind, and Carvana's so easy. Yeah, true. And sold. Go to Carvana.com to sell your car the convenient way. and welcome to the shutdown full cast we got kind of a special edition today so i'm going to throw

immediately to to my compatriot co-host jason kirk jason what are we doing today well we uh seeing as college football is super fucking nigh as in we are in the month of august as in college football starts in august this is sort of the time of year when you review what uh What you've done, accomplished, consumed during the time without football, you know, those of us who work in college football, this is sort of when we say goodbye to, like, you know, culture, you know, keeping up on things going on in the world. And, you know, those of you, if you're a diehard fan, you're very much, you know, in a similar position. So we wanted to sort of review the cultural items that we have interacted with, you know, since the last football season ended. And just run through some stuff we liked. That's a pretty simple way to put it, right?

Just, you know, some stuff happened and it was pretty good. And we're not talking about news. You know, that's the real world, too, but it's recommended to consume as little of that as possible. What would be the news that we liked? What would that even be? You know what? We seem to enjoy a large part of the Papa John story, not the racism, but just the fact that it involved Papa John. Yeah.

I have a couple of pieces of news that I enjoyed. For instance, there was a bison who was taunted by a tourist in Yellowstone, and the bison, the bison tried to show him what's up. It was like, what's good? the bison was like oh oh i'll show you come here and the uh wasn't there like a waffle house hero or something like that that happened at some point that was that that was a thing um a shark got kidnapped from an aquarium i think in san antonio yes but definitely definitely in texas and it was an organized theft yeah it was taken out it was taken out in like a baby carriage and nobody noticed a shark heist there was a shark heist there was a shark heist

There's a shark heist. See, was the shark okay? I mean, I think so. I don't know that they've recovered the shark at this point. In true modern media fashion, I did not follow up. Right, right. You have no actual, nothing to actually go on. Nope.

Anonymous sources. Just, just me. One other exciting piece of news, if you're listening to this, dear listener, which in fact you are, if you're a listener, think about it. Shut down fullcast live. tickets are on sale as of this moment. We're playing the rich theater in Atlanta

because we're rich. We're not rich. On August 31st, the Friday night of opening weekend. It's not actually the opening weekend. And yeah, fall through. We'll be giving away stuff. We'll have stuff you can give us stuff for. We'll be...

There we go. We'll have air horns, man. We'll have air horns. we will have some fun guests doing silly stuff. We'll do interactive bullshit with you like you'd expect. The best part, we're going to do a... So the way, if you're not familiar with how this works, and you listen to podcasts, so you probably are. You do the live show, you record it,

and then you release it as an episode. And fortunately, I think everybody understands that live shows are pretty average audio quality-wise. So ours is probably just going to sound like... No, I think people would be like, no, this sounds normal. But the audio version of this that we release is not going to have one thing. A Q&A that we are doing just for people who show up because we want to pull on that. We want you to know that there is a part of this podcast that you will not be able to listen to unless you go to the show.

Can I get Airhorn one more time? there we go what ryan is saying is that this this podcast's live show will have an exclusive that's right yeah uh it's tickets are 25 dollars you get a coozy that has me as the blooming onion on it uh that's right Are we going to do this the whole episode?

I just want to know. No, no, we're not doing this the whole episode. So when Spencer says that, I picture him trying to confiscate something from Holly. Yeah, just mic on mute, frantic arms flailing. Spencer is surprisingly fast for such a big glute, but I have elusiveness. You get a beverage. You get a raffle ticket for a shutdown forecast prize pack. Can we talk about the most exciting part of the prize pack?

Do we feel comfortable talking about the special item that's going to be in there? I really think we should. Yeah. It's an air horn. Spencer, do you want to tell them what it is? I don't know what you're talking about. God damn it. I knew it. I knew. I knew. I knew if I gave you a chance you'd fucking up.

How about this? Ryan, you set it up to the word. Okay. And then Spencer, once Ryan pauses, you say the first word you say on this podcast each time we record, okay? Okay. listeners, if you come to the show, you will be entered into a raffle in which you can win a prize pack that includes a welcome, Matt, a welcome, a shutdown full cast welcome mat that will say welcome in the way you think it says welcome. It's also made out of Spencer's beard hair, so that's fun. It's 100% authentic Spencer beard hair.

We're assuming all y'all live in house, clean in no time, because you're incredibly well. Why does this welcome Matt smell like butchuley? Oh, how dare you? Sir. Sir. Like it is not, like it is not scented with the finest lush bath products. And Dorito dust. And you've been on that like Trader Joe's like go-to-chong almond thing.

But yeah, sure, Dorito dust. That's right. Rich folks only in my mom. mentions. Let's just do the show, please now. Oh, also, if you want tickets, go to pre-ownedairboats.com. That's not joking. That's our official website. That's how you can get to the ticket link. It does, it does redirect. For actual pre-owned airboats, go to pre-owned airboats.biz. Yeah. That is owned by Holly Anderson. I, uh, I would say, Holly comes on to plug the family business every now and then. I, uh, I, I do,

have a couple of stories that, by the way, before we turn the page on that, a couple of off-season news stories that I really enjoyed a lot. I enjoyed the story if you did not see it of the Florida man who carried an alligator into a convenience store. And then when interviewed on TV about it, it was a, it was a video that went around the internet of him toting the alligator, who honestly kind of looked like a sort of lethargic toddler, just chilling, not even snapping at things randomly just crooked up in his arm looking around like hey bro you're getting some bush light

good good that's a good shit yeah he just was toting it around and when interviewed on TV said and I quote man I don't even remember that they got some good ass liquor in that store so I enjoyed

that I enjoyed the story of the gender the fireworks based gender reveal which if you watch the video went tragically wrong did it not tragically it did terrify everyone in attendance let's say what the baby is oh the baby's a hell monster a non-binary hill monster yeah it was the it was the it was the caucasian suburban version of damn these bootleg fireworks it was really really impressive and i also enjoyed you know

while i'm wrapping up the stories stories i frantically sent to everyone i know it's not from this year I did enjoy learning that in 1997, a poacher shot and wounded a tiger in Russia. That's from an NPR article. The tiger waited like a day for him at his cabin, broke into the cabin, destroyed everything he had, and then waited for him to come home and killed him. Fuck. Yeah. That's that Liam Nissen's tiger.

I think the theme here is we like it when people in, engaged with dangerous animals and then find out exactly how much karma they've laid up. Fireworks are animals. Fireworks is an animal. That's true. This cat actually followed through. That's right. Oh, come on.

He tried hard. Yeah, that's all he did. Yeah, you know what the tiger did? The tiger finished the drill. Finish the damn drill. Holly, in the alternate universe just like this one where the gray is the movie you wanted it to be, how much better is your life? A good 40% and I also have recouped a.

ton of lost work productivity time that I'm currently spending yelling we were on a break Liam every time I see him on TV oh one more and and not to get too terribly topical with things I can I can listen to anyone talk about somebody buying bad $15,000 ostrich leather jackets all day like that's it that's all I want like if somebody's rich I want you to tell me exactly what an idiot they're like the rich spend their money wisely investments always pay for themselves court documents suggest this man paid for a $15,000 ostrich leather jacket

that looked like some bootleg trash they bought off a corpse at a 1985 F1 race in country-ass France Spencer's talking about the new Manny Fresh Paul Manny Fresh. Paul Manny Fizzle Paul Manny Fizzle Product Shizzle

Every sentence ends exactly the way I wanted it to plus some Like if it starts, it's like, Paul Manafort spent $2 million on landscaping. I'm like, yes, yes, keep going. And it's like, including a, oh, yes, keep going. A $15,000 arrangement of red tulips. Oh, no, no, keep going. In the shape of, please be an M, please be an M.

An M! Like, it's always what I want it to be. A misspelled M. These are the people who read the Great Gatsby and got a very different message from it. This guy's fucking awesome. Fuck, all those colored shirts. I don't have that many. What's the message?

Always make people make appointments. Otherwise, they can't just roll up and shoot you. Otherwise, not a single lesson in this whole thing. I think the message is ball as hard as you can because it's all going to come to an end anyway. No one ever admit hitting anyone with your car. Oh, not a problem. That's the message of the Great Gatsby. Don't trust optometrists.

Don't snitch. Don't trust optometrists. always have someone make an appointment and if someone hits someone with a car no one say shit god jay gatsby probably a booster for the university of miami in retrospect 100% why do you think the light across the pond was green yeah i was gonna say Miami doesn't believe in red lights either that and that and that and and only a miami grad would read about somebody dying wealthy and face down in a pool and go yeah man Yeah. I think the only word here, there they hear, is pool.

It was a bomb-ass pool. Did you say pool and mansion? Yes, I said dead in a pool face down. So they think Great Gaspie is just like a Scarface prequel or something. It kind of is. It's what it really, it's like the, it's what, you know, it's the basic bitch scarface, right? Right, right. It's the Vineyard Vineyard Vine's Scarface. It is. It's like, well, and then I became wealthy and I was. moderately decadent about it. I wonder if they're adopting our,

our blow strategy. Spencer and I have this running gag where if you stop watching every cocaine movie 45 minutes in, it's an incredibly rewarding career that hurts no one. Right. Yeah. You got out at the right time.

And it feels like the perfect attention span for your average Miami enthusiast. Like if you tell them about Paul, Manifort. They're like, oh, so this guy's awesome. Oh, Polly. Yeah, he escaped. Let's see, he didn't pay taxes. He made a lot of money. And you're trying to tell me right now he's got a one-bedroom apartment. Everyone pays for everything. Yeah, it's called prison. No, no, no, no, no. Revisit this. Listen, bro, all I know is his hair is always on point. Yeah. Dude's handsome. I'm not saying he did

anything. I mean, what? Catch him. What, is ball in a crime? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is. You're telling me in some circumstances, Balin is a crime. He's being held in solitary confinement. I hear one bedroom apartment. I hear no roommates. That's a luxury box. That's the prison luxury box is what that is. Yeah.

Can I throw in one late breaking my favorite off-season thing? Because it happened today. Oh, God. No, no, this is the only good thing that's happened this week on this hell internet. Which is I'm in Arkansas on a reporting trip. which was my first mistake, and close to the Texas border, looking for someplace to have breakfast, scrolling Yelp reviews on my phone, and I discovered Yelp user Robert G. He has 247 Yelp reviews in this town of 37,000 people that I'm staying in,

and his review for this diner that I was looking at reads as follows. Robert G. one year ago, men wearing baseball and cowboy hats with leathermen and other tools on their belts, jeans, women shaped like plump cubes with square butts and large breasts blessed on them by menopause, well-behaved children, Coca-Cola memorabilia on the walls, laughter and Texas twang floating above the clash of dishware, people moving about, shaking hands, and hugging old friends got the picture it's america simple and good unpretentious so is the food useful zero funny zero cool one man garrison keeler is really spiraled downwards robert would never did on this restaurant's got square butts yeah i i have a lot of questions about what robert g thinks menopause is has he tried to fuck a lego has he tried to fuck a lego minifig is that what I'm hearing. I also got to tell you he's got 247 reviews and three

photos in his profile. One is a selfie and two are of the same bowl of Cheerios with blueberries on it. Is the selfie of his square butt? Ooh, no. No, it's a facie. Like if you're putting on Minecraft, Robert's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

What do you, what's that? All right, I got to do one more Robert G. Review. Calling Shorty's donut shop and diner, the worst breakfast I have had since I was a Cub Scout my next stop was for chewing gum damn Bobby G yeah

I'm not gonna read any further because I know that the next thing I click will have a big milkshake duck reveal behind it and I want to keep Robert the way he is with his weirdly Picasso-shaped view of women he's beautiful and I'm gonna keep him in amber

in my heart I love your right angles my square jimbery furniture heart. Oh, wait. I did forget one. One more, and then I'm done, which was, and I bookmarked it. That's how I, I, that's how much this story meant to me. Wow. Spencer, how many bookmarks do you have? It's either like two or like thousands. Thousands. Okay. How many of the other ones are the Sindido saw? Two of them. I actually have that one bookmarked twice. Different versions. Same one. Just, I'm just going to read the headline. I'll be done. Florida man with no arms accused of stabbing

tourist there there go Gators we'll give one of these the off-season Heisman probably probably the one about Florida not being able to pass probably that yeah skip that man no arms I give him he's he's three

I'm giving three points to Florida in that game yeah punt so um we had a few pop culture categories we wanted to run through movies TV music video games of course because we're all tall toddlers except for holly and uh books whatever those are um i guess we can start with movies

um oh i have a fresh one i have a fresh spencer has one resting i'm ready i'm ready to go hold on we also have to explain that we are doing these on our um on a specific curve so if you're expecting this to be like the best movies of summer 20 and nope it's probably not going to be that no no no I'm talking about the movie, which was the most awesome. And to be clear, these are things that are new to us. So if, you know, what Ryan's getting at, if you weren't able to see it last year, the year before, the year before that, because you have a child, then it's new to you. Yeah, dad curve could be like a lot.

It could be like four or five years, realistically. Because before last week, this was Flora Ragnarok being the best thing that I'd seen, which I'm definitely late to on the curve, right? as if a movie could not be more designed to blow personal smoke up my ass right my very own ass it would be this movie because if i wasn't convinced before all that if i wasn't convinced before half the movie is basically dry absurdist like kiwi humor before all of that uh there is the scene where thor descends from the heavens without his hammer yet in full control of his powers to the tune of the immigrant song by led zeppelin at which point i stood up for no reason in my own living room watching it as those summoned. That was number one before it was displaced by the best thing I saw this offseason, which was Mission Impossible Fallout.

Has anyone seen, I know Holly has seen it, have either of you seen it? No, movie pass can't afford it, therefore I can't either. I intend to see it, but I have not yet. Okay, I will try to do my best without giving spoilers. Although a movie like this is kind of... If you do, yeah, nobody goes to this

and be like, oh, where will the plot twist? No, no, this means that you can go into it with our imaginary premise that we came up with for this movie. I have seen every Mission Impossible movie multiple times. It's a series that I love. I can tell you what happens in the first movie. I can tell you a little bit of what happens in the third

movie. The rest of them, I could not tell you the plot. I couldn't even, like, make a good guess at it. Tom Cruise nearly dies in real life. Tom Cruise jumps off thing you're not supposed to jump off of. The reason a lot of us are there, At this point, right? I swear half the trailers for this movie were just like, hey, look at this shit Tom Cruise is doing.

You want to see if he lands? Yeah, no, that's half the movie. That's not half the trailer. That's half the movie. You ever seen your uncle break his femur? Yeah. I've only seen two Mission Impossible movies, and I'm real curious to learn after seeing this most recent one. At what point in the series did it become a musical without songs?

Because there was a pack of dandies in this one. Yeah, this is everything you need to know about the world is explained in Mission Impossible movies. One, all Europeans are evil. But the high grade, the like Johnny Walker blue label of evil, is Eastern Europe, right? Oh, sure. Like, there's this entire great school of movies dating back to the 90s. It's basically like Budapest, 1992. You're like, ooh, this is going to involve some cell phones and SIM cards, isn't it?

Croatia. Croatia. Now, now, you are leaving one thing out. The Mission Impossible movies also positive that there's only one group more evil than Eastern Europeans. And that is evil Americans. We're the best at it. We are the best at evil.

We are so the best at evil. This is, it's, it's, it's the, the most evil is, like, the government entity you work for once you go rogue, like you're Jack Bauer or Captain America or so on and so on. We can't, by the way, we can't even, like, that's how. absolutely childish and selfish we are as a nation we can't even give anyone the evil crown right who's the best we are we are who's the worst we are also the worst we're the best at worst we're the best at containing multitudes yes but seriously there's several points in this movie in which i'm convinced either a dream ballet or a harry's razor's ad read is about to break out and i would have been

satisfied with either one you know that john woo directed a mission impossible right that's yeah that's That's why I stopped watching them after the first one. It's the one with Tom Cruise has long hair. So that, if you're asking, where did the, like, manic dream ballet with guns start? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and say it was Mission Impossible, too. Excellent point. You could overlay this movie with seven brides for seven brothers, and it sinks up, like, Dark Side of the Moon and Wizard of Oz.

Yeah, I think we should definitely do that next offseason. Not only that, not only are Europeans evil, but Americans are more evil. I'll add that corollary. Anything can be driven if you just have a positive attitude. Anything. You just need a positive attitude and you can drive, fly, or otherwise conduct any form of transportation safely, sometimes at high speed and under great duress.

It doesn't matter. The entire finishing sequence involves Tom Cruise learning to fly a helicopter simply by having a really good attitude. Y'all know the boop meme? It's just Tom Cruise and a helicopter. Boop in another helicopter. Boop. Boop.

Helicopter, boop. Yeah, and he's just staying the whole time. I can do this. And honestly, you're so gassed up because you've watched the entire, the plot of the entire movie is basically to see it's the, if your cardiologist was a madman and he wanted you to do a stress test as a 55-year-old man by running through a side scroller that was two hours long. 56. Yeah, 56, a time of release, right? seeing if he could do a stress test at high speed while also doing parkour and learning to fly helicopter and punching a dude on the side of a cliff.

And by the time you get to him flying a helicopter, you're like, yeah, man, you could do this. It's just, it's like Stockholm syndrome with optimism. The other common thread in these movies is everything can be rodeo. Every Mission Impossible has a scene where Tom Cruise's character rodeos something that is not a bull. Like, it's just like, hey, I don't know. What if he just held on to the space shuttle super hard? Yeah, it's lifting off into orbit.

Yeah, it's got the force to escape Earth's gravitational pull, but he's got grip strength. What if he's holding on to Ving Rames flying into the atmosphere? Three, Ving Rames will do your emotional labor for you. Yes. He's the emotional center of all of these movies. He bears a really unfair burden in terms of feeling. feelings he basically every time that the script needs like how does this absolute insane idiot jumping

across rooftops chasing being chased by 20 dandified people who all look like we couldn't get tom hardy for this role so we got this guy right just 20 of those guys they're like tom hardy so it's like it's like tom cruz is v is ving rames's like stunt avatar or something like that ving rames performs all the emotional stunts in this movie yeah like the two of them together just split up an acting role. Yeah. One of the real weird parts in this movie is that Tom Cruise is not, of course, aging. He does not age.

Everyone else in the movie who's been in it over and over again is aging naturally. And so it's like Tom Cruise has become their smaller yapping pet that they all good-naturedly drag around and pull out of French rivers and shit. It's like, yeah, it's actually very similar to the Beethoven movies, except Beethoven is Tom Cruise. he's just a small, needy dog. Yeah. He's a small, needy dog that they, you know, he's, there's a couple of inversions, obviously. Instead of just, I don't know, messing up a kitchen, he does things like, I don't know,

foiling a hostage crisis. Charles Groton is the evil European. Or is Charles Grotin, Alec Baldwin's character. Alex Baldwin is good in this. Dude, we didn't even mention Alec Baldwin. Alec Baldwin's in this and he's actually nails, man. We're so used to seeing him as like in 30 Rock and he kind of actually is. like semy in a horrible person in real life yes sort of like semi edgy hunt for red

october alec Baldwin for a second that's a real he's got jokes it's good yeah it's the best thing I've seen it makes absolutely no sense Jason what's your movie no no you can't keep talking about Mission Impossible the whole I could do it for an hour so I'm gonna stop I know but he could so thanks to movie pass I'm and this is not an ad read I'm way more caught up on pop culture than I usually am I mean they could pay us for they can afford us let's be honest here i saw by the way we got seven dollars left this morning at one point like movie passes technical value was two hundred and eighty five thousand dollars yeah i tried to go to a movie this week while in arkansas where prime tickets cost seven dollars

and fifty seven cents and movie pass had them all grade out yeah they're like you can you can you can Can we hold $750? We'll buy your ticket. No takebacks. So, like, I was looking and, like, I've seen just about everything I'd want to see. There's still a few leftover. Infinity War was awesome. Black Panther was awesome.

A Quiet Place was great, far better than Hereditary, which sucked. I liked the very divisive annihilation. It's super fucked up, so go see that. But I got to put on here for a hurricane heist. Did anybody see Hurricane Heist? Wait, is that GeoStor? or is that a different movie? Oh, it's Geostorm, but dumber.

It's like Geostorm, but you're in the storm. Tell me more. It is the stupidest fucking movie I've ever seen. Let me put it this way. The only other person I know who likes it is Robbie Calland. And if you know his taste in movies, if you follow him on Twitter and see him getting way too excited about Fast and Furious or whatever, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Some of the worst acting I've ever seen, quite possibly, there's like this hot lady hacker, which like, you know, okay, now we're getting really Hollywood here. It's like, you know, sure, a woman can handle computers, but is she going to do it in, like, a dress, you know? Possibly the worst actor I've ever seen. The special effects and all that, it's perfectly competent. You feel like you are in a heist during a hurricane.

That's the plot. It's in the movie. It's one of those movies where you look at the title and you get it. It's awful, and I can't wait to see it again. They're not hiding the ball. Right. It's not one of these movies where, like, there's like some, like, John Travolta movie where it's called, like,

you know it's it's it's just like two words and there's no clue what it's about it's one i always think of as the example it's you know like swordfish are you talking about swordfish well that would be one but it's one where it's like a vague word you know like decisions you know like that's the name of the movie it's like what the fuck is it about right decisions this is more the snakes on a plane school of headlining hotel for dogs my right my pick is a movie from 2015 and it is the movie a Melissa McCarthy movie

kind of in the vein of what Spencer's going for called Spy. Have either of... Yes! Yes! It's so good. Spy is a really fucking good movie. It does what it's a... It's a good comedy, but what I was really impressed by and did not expect is that it is also like

it tells a good spy story. It's a good spy movie. It does like action well. It has like a plot with the twist that it's supposed to have. Jason Statham is just this irrepressible asshole throughout most of it, which is fun.

Jason Statham is funny in it. Yes, he is funny in it. It's like, it's, spy is better than it has reason to be, or at least than I expected it to be. I expect, like, I knew, it got,

it did all the things it was supposed to do in terms of this will be a funny movie, uh, with well-written jokes and sight gags and shit like that. But it also was just like, No, this was, like, better written than a lot of movies that are just trying to be spy movies. Oh, yeah. And I will watch the entire thing because Jude Law also plays an absolute asshole.

Like... He plays Ryan Lockty. Yeah. He plays Ryan Lockty, comma, spy in it. And Jason Statham plays Jason Statham, but with, like, on some sort of drugs that are counterindicated. Right. Like, just not quite smart or there, but not really aware that he's not smarter that he's brilliant. He's really like Jason Stato is really, really great in it.

Which by the way, like Jason Statham, there is a movie where he plays, I can't remember a guy who's lost his memory, I think. It's like Jason Statham actually made a serious movie. And honestly, I started watching it and I was like, oh no, this is not good. and reader, listener, it did not turn out to be good. However, it turned out to be better than I thought. So I was like, man's got range. Yeah, he's an incredible actor. All right, what's next?

Holly, is yours also a Mission Impossible? I don't know what my favorite movie is this year. I moved, or this offseason, like I moved in March, and I haven't really seen any movies until Movie Pass really started hemorrhaging money. So I just kind of started this. I've seen like three movies. movies this week because I'm trying to you saw them falling down and you're like let me pile on yeah yeah um I was like I've been propping the rest of you geniuses up all along because I've had movie

passed like three months and I hadn't seen any movies on it until this week uh so I've decided like once I triple my initial investment of like $19 or whatever I'm getting out so I saw skyscraper last night and I just want to point out one thing it is it is Jason is like you said it's everything I thought that this movie was going to be, which is really saying something. I want to point out something that gets so glossed over in the movie in the name of everything else that happens, but I think it's weirdly more impressive than almost anything that Dwayne the Rock Johnson does in the movie, which is when he's getting, so the skyscrapers in there, it's very tall, his family's in it, it's on fire and shit, he's on the other side of Hong Kong,

he steals a police motorcycle. The first thing he does, after eluding the cops and getting back to the giant tower with his family trapped on the burning 98th floor is commandeer a gigantic construction crane, the elevator in which is locked, and he just climbs up the outside it and they go away to like one short cutaway scene in a police trailer and they cut back and he's up on the level where his family is. He climbed like 103 stories on the outside of a crane and no attention is paid to this in the movie itself. and it's never referred to again. Like, oh, if he had run up like 103 flights of stairs,

I feel like that would have been visually something that they could have like cut back and forth to with him huffing and puffing past the like 55th floor sign. But he just kind of apparates. And I kind of feel like that's the most impressive thing he does and it doesn't appear on screen. Yeah, whenever you're not looking at him, he goes so much faster.

And like the amazing thing about that is it's not just him climbing, it's him in like the entire city of Hong Kong watching him climb. I also very much enjoyed the part at the beginning where he has to fight with his skinny friend from the army who's turned on him because you can tell he's having to work really hard

to pretend that this skinny dude can overpower him. And I think that's kind of gracious of the rock. Yeah, that's his wrestling background. He's putting that dude over. But it has like an air of gentility about it. Like, oh, come on, buddy. I think the other thing in the movie is that that they actually turned the first time

the rock is actually poorly suited to a job, right? Because he's so big and happy and has to hang off things. You're like, you're like, his obstacle is his ass. He has to overcome his own ass. Not the best movie I've seen this year,

but definitely the most recent. I also saw two movies in 24 hours in which a hacker character says, I'm in, out loud, referring to a computer system. So I appreciate that. Shout out to skyscraper and whatever the new Jurassic Park movie is. Oh, Jesus.

Let's see here. Next up, how about TV shows? I'm trying to catch up on Game of Thrones. It's taking forever. I don't think anyone else here watches it, right? No, I do. I gave up. Oh, right.

Okay. Yeah, I bailed. Yeah. It's Lord of the Rings with square butts everywhere that don't have pants on them. all right yeah we get uh but last chance you was more interesting is anyone up on that at all no no i i have never watched an episode of last chance you from any season the first two seasons are awesome just um really any football fan would like him especially any college football well like and or feel bad about college football um which is usually the same thing but this one

they go to a new school where the coach is for the first half of the season like you hate him and not just like oh coach is hard coach is a tough guy he's like before the first game he's in a hot tub smoking a cigar talking about he's a gameplay savant he doesn't need to plan all he needs to do is get his players to try and win one for him uh and they'll just dominate this team they lose 70 to 21 from there he ratchets that motivation style up he keeps emphasizing coaching doesn't matter all they have to do is care a lot they just have to want to win one for me no matter how much they hate me

Game four, they're in a losing streak he tries to fight his quarterback former FSU quarterback Malik Henry third straight year a former FSUQB has been on the show Go Knowles Jimbo gets them paid He literally tries to fight him and tries to fight his assistant

wide receivers coach he's bigger than both of them combined but after that he kind of becomes just a normal football coach He chills out. He stops screaming. He stops motherfucking, you know, in every sentence. Still a lot of them, which is good. But, you know, just try and make it through, like, you know, a meeting with, like, a player's mom without cousin. You know, he doesn't do that.

And, like, by the end, you're kind of like, okay, I think I just watch this dude grow up. And by the end, you know, it tends up being a really compelling season of TV. And that's really all the TV I watched. It was about college football. I caught up on the crown. which I thought was very enjoyable. I have one chief complaint about the Crown, and it's from a production angle.

So there are lots of scenes in the show that take place in Buckingham Palace, and whatever they've done to recreate it is very impressive. It's staged well. You know, they've taken the time, and I know they've spent the money on the show, to sort of make it look authentic and lived in, all the things you want your set to be.

But there are multiple scenes in this fucking thing where somebody will call out the time of day. They'll say like, oh, it's 8 o'clock and it's time to watch blah-pity-blah. And then they will be sitting in a room with windows and it's full on fucking daylight out. It's like 1 o'clock in the afternoon. And it's baffling to me. Like nobody thought, hey, we should throw a curtain. They just seem totally content to say, yep, it's tenant. night and the sun is just out well Ryan you realize the sun never sets on on the

british empire yeah they meant that literally and since since the empire is confined to part of one island now right you know right so yeah I enjoy the crown I ended up watching and not regretting a single second the entirety of Brooklyn 9 9 how were you so late to that please see dad shit yeah i've never seen any of it it's very good yeah i i don't yeah i i caught up with it just in time for it to get canceled and revived that's that's where i was i was actually finishing the series and i was like man i can't wait for the next season oh happy jump sad jump happy jump yeah completely worth it i think you can do an entire horoscope uh personally oh we did this yesterday yeah yeah yeah holly suggested this um you can do an entire horoscope of

of what particular Brooklyn 9-9 sign you are, right? Because I was concerned that I present myself as a Rosa, but I'm really an Amy with aspirations of being a Gina. I was going to give you Gina, but... Spencer is Terry with Jake Rising. Yeah, I've evolved into a Terry with Jake Rising. Whereas Ryan, hmm. This isn't going to be good.

I know it's not. I know it's not going to be good. Give me the bad one because I won't know what it means. You're a Scullian Hitchcock. No. You work with a lot of those, but none of them are on this podcast. Actually, actually. Jason is probably the closest to a Rosa, right?

Jason is probably the closest we have to a Pimento. That's a little far. Yeah. I'm going to actually say this. But is the Rosa of the college football staff. No, but is our holt. Yeah. That's fascinating.

Just change the accent. Oh, wait. Godfrey is Pimento. He's been undercover too long. Yes. A little, a little paranoid, a little too excited. Yeah. Yeah, that's on point.

Been out in the field a little too long. You know, actually, I will give, I will give Jason, I think Jason is probably more. more as close as we get to a half Diaz, half Jake. That's fair. Oh, I'm Doug Judy. I'm the Pontiac Bandit. Oh, none of us deserve that.

Hello, everybody. I'm Doug Judy. God, Craig Robinson. I don't know what he's paid to be Craig Robinson. They need to triple it, though. Quadruple it. He's magnificent. Yeah, I cannot endorse watching Brooklyn Nine more because, and I've said this before,

but Brooklyn Nine-Nine really filled the void in my life. that I didn't realize had been empty since they stopped making Reno 911, which is a show I can immediately step into, watch for 22 minutes. I get guaranteed, well-packaged absurdity with just enough, like, humanity undermining it. And then I don't have to interact with it, right? There may be some overarching plot lines. Don't sweat them too much. Not that big a deal.

You can pick them up fast. The writing, it's astonishingly consistent. like i don't know if there's an actually bad episode most of it's like like how much of it is improvised a lot a lot of it and uh there's a legitimately great character in it and that would be captain ray holt andre brower who somehow by not being funny is the funniest person on the entire goddamn show he's exquisite it's the best character on television right now it is the hot damn moment is is a top 20 tv moment for me hot damn no it's when he's taking a hula hoop class

No one will ever know I got to throw one more TV show in before we leave I'm not going to tell you anything about it but killing Eve is unlike anything I've ever seen on television and I'm a blogger so I've watched a really stupid amount of television go go watch it on BBC

kind of immediately and don't read anything about it before you go in just go okay there I don't have any jokes it's incredible Speaking of not reading, next up, let's knock books out of the way. I don't know how this is going to go, because I'm pretty sure we've never talked about this subject on here. When it comes to me, there's probably a reason my job is reading, so I don't try to do minimal of it during not working. I did read an actual serious book with Softzia, Battle Cry of Freedom of Civil War history, it's awesome.

It's fully, like if you were to read one book about the Civil War, they say this is the one, and that sure seems to be the case. to me. It's got receipts on everything. And otherwise, there's been a lot of Amazon sales on comic books. So listen, Godfrey, I am ready for you to quiz me on, hit me up of whatever you got. I think I can survive it. Two of my favorites were old man Logan catching up on that whole run, and I'll just throw this name out there, K-L-A-U-S-Klaus. Read that. I'm not going to tell you what it's about you'll catch on a few pages in and think this no no this is fucking stupid and then by the end you'll say that was amazing um but the main one to go back to spencer's point thor god of thunder specifically the god of thunder run oh yeah is the most fun i've ever had

reading a comic and like you know i've been reading comics since like you know you unload some you scam some kid out of a brett far of rookie card and sell it for some x-men comics in the 90s I know I'm talking about Thor God of Thunder. It's so fucking metal. It's got the same tone as Ragnarok where it's like Thor almost knows how ridiculous he sounds the things he says, but he also knows he can back him up. If you like comics at all, it's a blast.

I would say actually if you don't like comics, I too got on the comic book because my elder son is now old enough to sort of read comics and you know understand most of what's going on you know some things you can can't and don't really need to explain right especially if you're reading dr strange with your kid i read the dr strange donnie kate cycle donnie kates you should just read anything donnie kate's writes right or makes as a comic book person but he does a dr strange uh cycle which uh yeah it involves a basset hound going to hell to rescue uh the ghost of a basset hound i'm sorry because loki accidentally

kills this dog because it's fat and old and tries to defend dr strange and dies of a heart attack dr strange is like my life's ruined he's like divorced messed up dr strange who uh is pretty much lost everything it's great it's absolutely phenomenal that was a that that was a damn hoot i think i have actual books to i have one actual book okay go ahead one actual book to recommend Diane McWhorter carry me home because yeah if you don't it's it's real long and it's very detailed you might skim some of the

details because you know if you weren't from Birmingham and didn't live through 1963 maybe you don't need to know all 32 names of the people at like the Clavern meeting by the barbecue joint which by the way a lot of clan meetings of barbecue joints and civil

rights movements going on probably also a fair few now yeah but carry me home. It's about 63. It's about Birmingham. It's about the most dangerous man from Birmingham ever. That would be Fred Shuttlesworth. Fred, if you don't know why the airport there is named Shuttlesworth Airfield, this is why. It's named after arguably the craziest dude to ever be born. Maybe in the United States. I don't know. There's like 15 points in this book where you're like, oh, he's going to die. And this little dude who's a preacher

who woke up one morning early like three of the morning because God told him to end segregation doesn't die it's astonishing it'll really like and it's not just about Alabama like you finish it and you go oh yeah that's us that's the that's the entire thing there's also like some like comic relief in the form of all of the federal allies and everybody who has to go to birmingham and all of the like weird racist operatives who go there pretty much everyone agrees they're like yeah this place is really fucked up but the food food's incredible like all of the Fed. They're like, you go into Birmingham? That's terrifying. They're like, yeah, but lunch. Dude, lunch. So, Diane McWhorter carry me home. I really, a, that's a life changer.

Yeah, it's amazing. Go read it. I have, I think, I'll go with three books. None of these were released in 2018. I'm sticking on theme here. I don't think anything I'm going to recommend today is going to be something that actually was produced this year. There are three very different books. The first is called Idaho. It's by, I'm going to pronounce her last name wrong, Emily Ruscovich. It's a very sad, very rough book, but it's very well written. It does that thing where it hides enough for you that you're not lost and you're not totally ungrounded in what's happening with the plot, but you do feel compelled to sort of move forward

so that she can reveal more of what's happening. That's the first one. The second one is Station 11, which many of you have probably read. It's done very well. And that's a little older. That's by Emily St. John Mandel. That's a really cool. It's a book about a traveling Shakespeare troop in post-apocalyptic America.

And if that sounds crazy, you should definitely read it. And then the third one is probably the most on point for our podcast. It's Jessica Luther's book, Unsportsman-like Conduct. Hey, does that seem like a thing you should maybe read about right now, how college athletic programs have systemic issues with handling cases of sexual assault or domestic violence or, you know, on and on and on? It's, I think, a very interesting read at the history of this topic, the continued problems that have popped up.

It was written, I'm fairly confident it was written before any of the Michigan State things popped up, definitely before the Ohio State issues have popped up before the gynecologist at USC. As far as I can, as far as I know, nothing to do with athletics. It's a hard thing to read if you like college football, but it's a good thing to read if you like college football. Oh, you got any books? Oh yeah, I got a local one to throw out at you Lisa Cross Smith is an author who lives in Louisville I'm going to say something nice about Kentucky which is that Lisa Cross Smith lives there

She put out her first novel in I want to say April of this year It's called Whiskey and Ribbons And it's like three interwoven stories Surrounding the death of a police officer And it's just it's beautifully written And you'll find yourself kind of especially if you're from around here, you know, you don't really, you don't really get to read voices that sound like yours as often as you'd like, but you just, you just settle into, you settle into the voices of this book immediately.

It's beautiful and she's terrific. Go buy it. It's also like $6 on Kindle right now, because I just looked it up to see when it was released. Go get it. Great. We did, we read. We did books. Look at that. Look at all that literature. Oh, oh, wait. Comic book note. Comic book note. Hotel. Oblivion is coming out in October, apparently, for real this time. Umbrella Academy mount up. That's all. Oh, yeah. And if you got kids, go read the Squirrel Carl series. Look the new adventures of Squirrel Girl.

That's, like, great kid stuff. Boys, girls, whatever. My daughter at this point would put on for the My Little Pony comics. She's aged out of the shows, but not the comic. No, no, they're really, it, comics are really good now. It's like, like, I know they were always kind of good. Go back and read them. They're much better now.

And you can put them on your phone and all that. Yeah. Let's see. How about music? And I think here by music, you know, artist, album song, whatever. I made a little list of, I think, what I would call my five favorite albums to this point. Not really in order. Push a T and J Rock. Really good, focused rap albums, just modern, innovative rap albums. The Carter's, I think, is the funnest album of the year, which is amazing because it's made by a 67-year-old man and his wife who's been famous for 20 years. And I think with this, what I like the most, is like yes Beyonce you know biggest greatest entertainer you know alive right now genius all that stuff I really appreciate Jay Z's role on this he has he was already you know a innovator in the realm of dad rap here I think he invents husband rap where he pulls off the trick of sharing a mic with your wife who is vastly more talented than you you know you're still one of the greatest and most successful you're the most successful rapper ever and one of the best ever, but you still can't, you know, approach your wife on that scale.

So instead of trying to outshine her, you just do what you can when you're past the mic. You just move the ball down the field and then, you know, she'll go up and moth somebody, you know. Like there's a, I think it's the second to last song. It's like this past the mic, boom bap style rap song where she spends most of it either roasting him or singing about how she loves such a dirt bag piece of shit. and he you know at one point he just says all right chill and like you know for the rest of the time like he'll drop some devastating dad puns about the lion king you know he he makes fun of himself for his lack of athleticism like how silly he looked diving off the yacht in the one meme photo you know um does he mentioned this is pre jet ski

photo right right yeah he then topped himself with the jet ski photo but like like subtle not exactly humble, but self-confident, old chill, Jay-Z. Self-aware. Self-aware. You know, it's cool to make fun of him, but I still love Jay-Z. And, like, in this one, I think he finds

a really, really, really, really comfortable groove. You know, he's kind of, like, the, on this album, he's kind of like the big boy. Comfortable, like, Pee G-Boer fans, is kind of the role. The pay your bills, pay your bills if you're a baller, big boy. Right, right, yeah. And he steps it back.

Like his last couple albums, it's been like, you know, just get rich like me, simply get rich. And it's like, no, that's not really an option. On this one, it's, it is on rich people to make those around them rich. He says that at one point, you ain't rich unless you're, you know, your friends, family, co-workers are rich, which like, that's a much more apt message, you know, for this time, this climate, this country than what you're going to get out of most, you know, rich celebrities. So progressive, Jay-Z. How about that? I also like this album by Young Fathers It's like some I don't even know what genre it is

It's like some dudes out of Edinburgh There's like rapping and singing and well like what Europeans think of as rapping And it's like this like vaguely secular spiritual kind of thing Like if you can give me like the vibe like I'm in church But I don't have to worry about anyone going to hell like I'm in Yeah It's really cool and number five I'm going to blow some minds out there when I say this

the one of the best rap albums of the years by arian foster the former tennessee volunteers in houston texans running back um i approached it like all right this is really yeah let me be that person really like i was like all right this is you know it's a cool athlete you know he's an interesting dude i'm gonna i'm gonna give it a chance and then i'm like wait this is really good you know and like you're like do i think this is good just because it's erring foster but you go back and no it holds up like it's legit one of the best rap albums of the year period um it's like really jazzy and chill uh but yeah arian foster's a really good rapper damn i'm i'm kind of stunned by that but you know what project is bobby finno by the way

i got i have to just go with it right let's share i guess man i got to listen i'm happy to hear that though yeah it's good you'd like it um i was listening to Daytona i think I wore Daytona the hell out. Like, because holy shit, how could you not like an album that's 24 minutes long? 24 minutes long and does nothing but rap about Coke. That's it.

Tight focused on one subject, just like this podcast. It's everything that I really want and can never produce. So, cheers to you for that. I like, why Oak? Why Oak produced a banger of an album?

The latter I call, the faster it runs. play that play the shit out of that um i just listened to the internet uh hive mind that album is uh who is damn good it's really really good um and that's about it that's you know because i have kids and they like to listen to stuff so uh on spotify i think the most played thing i have right now is the lego batman soundtrack the lego batman soundtrack's been tearing it up i have to admit. Does Batman, does Batman sing on it? Batman does sing on it, right? He sings. He sings about how awesome and sickest backflips are, right?

The best part being like, everybody has to chant Batman after he claims something, right? Like, who has the sickest backflips? Batman? And I know when he goes, who always pays his taxes? And they're like, not Batman. Like, I'm glad that the Lego Batman movie openly embraced that, you know, the IRS is Batman's biggest. opponent joke. I'm glad they just wrote that in. Yeah, that's about it. Other than that,

a bunch of old stuff, because I listen to a bunch of old stuff over and over again. Y'all got anything else? Duran Duran Slaps. Is that, is that, like, is that kid friendly? Does the child enjoy that?

Um, it depends. Sometimes she's just not in the mood for it, but like the reflex. Rio, hungry like the wolf, Notorious, Wild Boys,

View to a Kill, like, they all slap. I understand that most Duran Duran songs are the same song just like

in a different key or with like something changed. They all slap. Like, I am totally happy that I have listened to a lot of Duran Duran

in this, the year of 2018. I have no problem with that whatsoever. also I had the other two albums I've been listening to Led Zeppelin 3 a lot just because of the immigrant song it just worked its way back into my life man

basically Spencer and I our entire pop culture is now viewed through Thor yeah ooh ooh and cancel all white men except Thor also if you're into like if you just want the loudest album you can possibly buy go buy the new deaf heaven album go by that ordinary corrupt human love is the it's just if you're one of those people who's like I like music that sounds like it's crushing me yeah go get that holly you got anything yeah I've been

listening to a lot of you know if it sounds like it plays uh on a driving video game when it's nighttime and raining then I've probably been listening to it lately a lot of time cop 1983 a lot of the midnight um bear with me for one second my favorite swedish norwegian dream pop band postiliona is finally on spotify you used to only be able to get it on uk a tuitons or bootleg it's got this beautiful their their first album is on there skier and it's it's got this beautiful like lethal weapon saxophone threaded throughout the whole thing uh and i just love it i drive around and and think about how I'm a disgrace to the badge and gun yeah well that's you know that's the smooth saxophone it's the frantic saxophone when something's about to happen right like

it's it's a saxophone of regret and long nights and then too many coffee cups with cigarettes in them yeah man go balls the copy of the cop life we're off what is the how do you spell this band uh p o s t i l j o n and you can find them on Spotify now which until very recently was not the case go in go get it very good um let's see next one looks we have video games um i it's like as a dad i always sort of find myself like like i love the slow-paced games and especially if like it's when my daughter can sort of participate in and cities skylines has been our game this year it's like a modern sim city like i know there's modern sim cities but like they're trash and it's like what you would expect of a

modern sim city and it's made by swedish people so there's all kind of stuff where it's like americans wouldn't think to put that in like you know bike paths walking paths you can have a building with like a lawn on its roof you know free free clinics yeah health clinics police no we definitely have police yeah we got we got we got we got police we got fucking police yeah like there's no you know military base that approaches when you have a thousand people like can we take up a fourth of your land you know like it's a it's a very non-american sim city and i we talked about i happen to look back through what we were doing on this podcast last year this time we're talking about y'all y'all we're talking about metal gear phantom pain i have now caught up

this is the craziest fucking thing i have ever encountered um the first hour of the game is the opening scene which already that sounds that sounds insane um um Um, the number of crazy things that happened in the first hour, I, as soon as I could like save this thing and stop playing it, I went and read three different wikis just to try to wrap my mind around what the fuck I had just endured. Um, and still felt like this is as close to insanity as I've ever been. Like I literally felt like I, I am not in grasping facts. Right. Like there's a scene where you, um, you go through this like create a player thing. And it never tells you who you actually just created. It's not you. It might be the guy next to you. I don't know. Every one's under bandages.

You all switch faces. I don't know. We're escaping hospital. There's a guy on fire chasing us. He comes and goes. There's like these Joker ghosts. There's a unicorn. There's a unicorn.

Then you get out of this and it just starts, you just pop, plop you in like a regular army game after that. Boss, we got to go invade the base. It's not even. What the fuck about the horse? The fire horse. Also, you have a, you have a, you have a, piece of metal in your face?

Yeah, it's just there. It's just sticking out of your head. Boss, if we took the metal out of your face, you might die. It makes TSA a real pain in the ass. And from there, you just go through like this regular army game, building this base where you have like, you know, everyone on your base is like a lobotomized psycho. Like you literally kidnap soldiers from the enemy,

which is usually Russians, and fly them back to your base. And then the guy on the other side says like, Okay, boss, we'll fix his brain. And then you go to base and they just salute you. It's so fucked up. And it gets weir and weirder and weirder and weirder as you go. You know, I had a job, but you know, this was a little bit better.

I think I'm going to go with it. Yeah. Yeah, I guess your base just has awesome, you know, vacation benefits. Yeah. Did you mention that you have companions? For instance, you have a wolf that you, a wolf from Afghanistan who has an eye patch just like, like you do. Right. And you can unlock him a little vest that has a knife so that when you have him go clear

out of base, he won't just bite the person. He will reach over, grab the knife out of his cute little vest, and then run up and stab them in their throat. A dog that stabs. Yeah, they have that. Also, you can basically kidnap things with a balloon, the Fulton extraction, where you attach a giant balloon, weather balloon, and then it just rockets off into like the stratosphere. You can do this with bears and when you do it it makes a little bear noise all the way up you can do this with a fucking tank like

yeah you can pretty much do like it's a really good game but it's the dumbest game I have ever experienced oh I felt like it had a stroke like the whole time playing it like like is my arm numb do I smell toast

Jesus Christ what is this garbage I can't stop playing also when I never really finished it which I would have been concerned with and and I would have been except there's no ending the game there's none they released the game without an ending

because of a contract dispute with the guy Hideo Kojima who made it so yeah don't worry about that did I mention that credits play before every mission yeah yeah the game keeps trying to convince you that you're in a movie

and it'll tell you who the enemy is in that mission like they're like boss you got to go here and kidnap this guy it'll be easy but like the thing pops up and it's like you know

this mission also features Satan and you're like oh shit or excuse me not Satan that would be normal you know giant metal robot Satan you can smell so bad in the game if you do not shower that your underlings

will throw water on you in order to bathe you or you can do my favorite thing which is there is a way no better you can hide in garbage in like dumpsters right to escape the scrutiny of guards but what you my favorite thing to do is to take the time traveling cigar yeah i'm not even going to explain it uh you can just smoke this giant thing that looks like a huge joint and time magically starts to pass quickly you can do what I did which is get in the dumpster and smoke it for three or four days straight just keep hitting it like I was like how long is it going to let me do this

and you see like through the little slit right it's like daytime nighttime camera angle switches and it's just a dumpster with smoke coming out of it and I was like how long can I do this and it's like seven days later you come out of there and flies are swarming around you it's like you're hibernating Shug Night yeah you know what I did after you know what I

did after I was in the dumpster for seven days and stepped out of it, I got back in. Got back in? Just lit up for another three days. I don't think this roast is done. Let's pop this brisket back in. What are you doing? Just get my mind right. Just getting my mind right, man.

It's an amazing game. The game that I have played, and this will, I think, play into Hollies as well. As Holly moved back to Atlanta and one of the things that Holly's, has done in her time back is teach my son the meaning of humility because my wife and I have unable unable to do it however we do have Mario Kart for the Nintendo Switch and the lessons one can learn from Mario Kart are endless however however I think you taught him the most important one which is that the game is never cheating you're just just always going to be worse than me.

That's right. At Mario Kart. Because I have to take his feelings into account, right? You don't have to take his feelings into account. A little bit. I do. I got to, I got to suit yourself. There's therapy on the end of this. Yeah.

But you, you can waste him. Would you like to tell the group, the story of the very first race I played against your son at Mario Kart, which was also, I think, the first or the second day I had ever played Mario Kart on the Nintendo Switch Yeah, yeah, because you were just still learning the controls And you were ahead of him, I believe, at the final, right? Were you in second place? Yeah, and he was in first.

Oh, no, I was in first and I let him pass me. Oh, you let him pass you. On the third lap. Third lap with about, I don't know, probably about five seconds of run up to that. And what did you do right before he crossed the finish line? Put on the brakes, let him pass me, and then shelled him off the course. Forrest in one. Yeah.

He's eight, by the way. He's eight. Yeah. Owned. But he's kind of an asshole. And he needs to be put down. Yeah. Repeatedly. I will say also for an eight-year-old, he has an amazing grasp of games cheating and philosophy.

Oh, yeah. No, instantly. He's like, he is that. He's in, what, second grade, third grade? What grade is this child in? He's going into second grade. Are you sure? Yes.

Okay. He's in second grade. He is already controllers broken games, cheating kind of kid, which makes me wonder if there's like a genetic test for that. Like, can you, when you're testing for all the other things that might crop up in your child's life before they're born, can you test whether he's going to throw a controller? He's actually in third grade.

I'm an excellent father. Awesome. Yeah. He is eight, right? Yes. He's yours? Yes. But he's already going to be the football fan who goes,

Riffs cheated us. Oh, yeah. Like in a game you lose by 38 points, right? I love him to death, but he has the heart of a snitch.