Shutdown Fullcast - The Carnivorous Rutgers Anarchy Horse

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

- Jerry Jones Will Never Surrender To The Sun- Chili Beans for Algernon- More moon lore, shockingly- The Martin Luther Directors’ Cut- SEX ARBY’S- Spencer Hall, Big Ten Clean Living Sponsor- Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham- Tickets to the January 2025 live show in Atlanta with SZD go on sale Thursday, Nov 21, as always at https://preownedairboats.com/- Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/- Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/- Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/

For games that obviously suck, we should have the Nickelodeon slime option. Do you know what the next one that they're doing for the NFL is? No. Let me make sure I get this right. So it's Simpsons themed. Sorry. I was just thinking about my hand for hovering over the dope button. Okay, here it is.

Simpsons NFL game will be on Monday, December 9th, Monday night football game. and it will feature the Dallas Cowboys and the Cincinnati Bengals. Just sitting there with the Barney quotes hitting the, Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.

Just over and over and over again. So yeah, we are doing this for some of our... Like, the Bengals are much better than the Cowboys, but are in many ways much sadder than the Cowboys.

Welcome to our NFL podcast. That people are going to have the option to watch this Simpson-Fide is just so small. The Cowboys Simpson felt like, what are they going to do for Jerry? He's going to be Mr. Burns.

That's what they're going to do. So the Falcons are in the toy story one. Yes. Which was, oh my God, it was awesome. It was like the shit didn't work for an hour or two. And yeah, these things are brilliant ideas. Yeah, yeah. Kurt Cousins is Andy

This one was Yeah, it was even better It was in the previous regime Was it was it Falcons Jags? Did I make that up? Yeah, how good does that sound? No, make it. Does that sound like a game you want to draw more attention to?

Do you want as many people as possible looking at that? It should have been the Toy Story 3 games So it could be like, this is actually a meditation on death Look, kids, you're in hell just like which Woody is in hell. We're all going in the fire for 60 minutes.

Don't you went, isn't this the game you went children to watch to be like, hey, you should be a football fan for the next 70 years. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yep. But I will appreciate that we, that we're putting the Cowboys of the Simpsons game because it's the perfect, like, man,

we should have stopped doing this in the late 90s. This was, this was so good in 1994. Yeah. and like and a few very online people think about it i don't know if anyone still watches it but all of us are just sort of very aware of it every day yeah on the 30 second straight season of the joneses their stadiums falling apart their stadium is pointed at the sun their stadium

the sun thing is so good Jerry, did you think the sun was going to move? Well, yeah. I figured it would. Moves every day, you idiot? Well, you know, we used to have a hole in the stadium so God could watch his cowboys. Sounds wildly like that. Now we're just staring straight at the butthole of Satan.

I like that AT&T Stadium is like what the Death Star would be like in real life. Like, poorly designed. Falling a full of stupid balls. I mean, they never finished it. And they always did have... We'll have one secret hole that will destroy everything. Whereas Jerry's like, we're going to point that hole at the sun! This hole's going to be big.

It's not a secret at all. Everybody knows about it. Here in the great state of Texas, we're going to make sure everyone in the world can't miss the hole. Dang old Roger Sherman's going to write about it. No one... Please, please. Oh, I've seen with those smart-ass liberals say, well, don't you just hang the curtains up when the sun's blinding your players

and making you lose football games? Well, we do that shit when it's a livestock show or whatever else we got going on in there. The Dallas Cowboys can see in the dark. That's so anti-Texed to not be like, well, biggest stadium in the world, we got the biggest drapes in the world. Look at the size of these goddamn drapes. We got the biggest sun. Look at it. Behold it.

Stare at it till you develop madness. Just Jerry Jones idiot ass on the 50-yard line looking up at the sun blazing out of him and going, that's good. The photo of Trump staring at the eclipse. Yeah. And Odell Beckham staring at the eclipse. You put those together and you have Jerry Jones. There is a decent chance. I'm going to look up the Cowboys' schedule here.

Okay. So if they don't win on Thanksgiving when they host the Giants in just again, we don't need any of these games. There's too much Cowboys on television. Please take it away. If they don't win that game, it will be the case that the winner of the Big 12 championship, which is also played at AT&T, will at least for some period of time, have more wins in AT&C stadium in 2024 than the Dallas Cowboys do. Jake Ball has more wins in that stadium.

He's not even real. I love that they, I mean, they always go. all in, I'm putting the Cowboys on TV. But, like, this year, after they were coming off of, like, losing a playoff game by a million points, you're like, yeah, fuck it. Let's keep it coming. Every time I look up, they are closer to my television. Every time.

They keep getting prims, like, I'll just be doing nothing on a Thursday night. I look up as like, woohoo, have some Cowboys. What? I do not, like, ever watch, like, sports morning TV or whatever, but anytime you're in, like, a hotel lobby, every fucking TV is just not, it's real. just non-stop cowboys. Like when they talk about the Lakers, I'm like, oh, thank God, something else.

And like, this team sucks. But they're not even like catastrophically bad. They're just really bad. They're not interesting bad. I have terrible news for you all on that front. The, I ask somebody about this every year because it was true when I worked there and it remains true to this day. The reason, and I've tried to tell God for this, but he's having a lot of fun.

So I'm going to let them happen. But the only reason that the networks keep plugging the cowboys like this is because of the ratings. It works. That's the worst part. It's actually worse than you think. Well, yeah. They're putting this shit on TV because it spikes the ratings. Like it's our fault collectively as a society that it's there.

They're not trying to drive a narrative. This is responsive action by them. Oh, yeah. This. This. And I, gosh, doesn't that feel a. appropriate against the backdrop of fucking everything right now. This is what people want.

It's nothing where I'm like, oh, this is a conspiracy to make me think about the Cowboys. Like, we've all seen, no, you're not seeing traffic ratings. By the way, you'll notice that we have cleverly involved you in our Dallas Cowboys themed podcast guaranteed to increase our downloads and ratings. This is the other story that I tell people is that when Prince died and I was working at MTV, we're like, oh my God, we're going to like, We're going to save music videos and celebrate Prince at the same time. And also, this was like, man, this is like, what, April, 2016.

And we were like, Prince and David Bowie died. This is the worst year ever. And we ran a 24-hour marathon of Prince videos on MTV, and it charted, like, 0.029. People don't want it. People don't want good stuff. And that's why Prince died, because you character. too much about the Dallas Cowboys, America. That might be true, actually.

Everybody loves corn nuts. And look, the other thing about the Cowboys is they are so used, they are sort of this like gravitational force that pulls in anything else we want to talk about. On one of the morning shows this morning on ESPN, it was, should Dion Sanders be the next Cowboys hire? And it's like, yes, that's right. We can tie everything to the Dallas Cowboys. Cowboys if we want to.

I think that one's valid because... Sure. That one, I'm like, yeah, I think he should. Like, do I mean that as in it will be a great hire that will win football games? No, that's not what I mean by should. No, no, no, no. Look, I... The UK has the royal family, a useless, overspent institution that draws way too much attention

and affection, considering that they provide almost nothing for the country. And we have the Dallas Cowboys. they are our royal family like the same level of intrigue the same level of like oh who's next up where's tony robo father like that's what we do and i'm okay with that i'm okay with that trade in it yes same absolutely useless profile and i will also add by the way that going back to the dion thing happen you want to talk about us sure that's going to happen you know why because the whole point of that franchise if you could buy a ticket that lets me an idiot walk into your office as a football player and allows me to watch you lift weights and be like who gamble like that's what you can do

jerry treats it like an aquarium he just puts his players in an aquarium they're like go bang all the glass it is like it is like he watched Jurassic Park and was like I don't learn all the wrong lessons, y'ha. You can't do that at like Oklahoma State. You can't do that at like Delaware. You can't just walk into the wait room, you know, like the window, not just the wait room, but you just can't walk up and be like, hey, I'm watching them do football. No, fuck that. People wall off like division two fields because they're terrified you might pick up a play when they're going up against Charlton State or whatever. But Jerry, if you just write a check, we'll let you do that.

Capitalism makes no mistakes. All right. Hey, speaking of capitalism. Oh, yeah. We're all aware that I'm going to out him here because who cares. Longtime friend of the program, Ben Collins. That can't hurt you anymore. It might have been your previous gig, but not now.

Recent purchaser of The Onion and even more recent purchaser of Infoars and all of it related regalia at the Alex Jones bankruptcy auction. God, but a beautiful phrase. It's been brought to our attention by additional front of the program, Matt Brown, the extra points one, that one of the websites that is now in the possession of the onion and its financial partners is the website succulent dinosaur.com. And we have a request. Ben, can we have this website? Ben, can we have this website give it to us we'll do a really good job with it additional side sidecar ask any chilly content that i want i want access to alex jones's emails i want to know if ben now owns all of alex jones's email because i just want to search for chili content do you think there was

readers will recall a previous alex jones episode where he testified in court that he could not recall events that he was being asked about because he had eaten a large bowl of chili. We are relentless in our pursuit of truth. Please give us these items. We will take great care of them. Thank you, Ben.

At the very least, tell us that he has the men-in-black, mind-wip chili recipe somewhere on the InfoWars. Right? Yeah, we got we got to try this on Spencer. That'll be terrible. How did you develop a short-term memory disorder?

the chili the chili of forgetting develop is not the word there but also not to introduce a second stumbling block of yours but what if the chili pushes you pass sort of an international date line of memory and you become a memory genius yeah yeah what if you're already so close to the nadir on the short term memory end what if this is kidney beans for algernon for what if we already what if we sold alex jones mind chili right Third-eyed chili. They don't want you to have the chili. Faster, stronger, smarter. I will never recover from chili beans for Algini. Neither did he, but I won't. See, that's how you know. That's how you know Ryan is one of them.

He's a sim. He's a sin. He's covered in the flesh of the artificial. That's why? Because he suggested beans and chili. There's no beans and chili. Alex Joe's brain chili It's made with brains

You don't have to grind the brains Because it already comes out like You know Like ground beef but not cut up That's right That's right You just got to unwind it like a turn ball You just got to unwind it like a turn ball

welcome to the shutdown full cast that's right you're listening to the internet's only college football podcast this is spencer hall the voice you are hearing other voices you will hear on this podcast include ryan nannies holly anderson's jason kirk's and on the ones and two Michael Cerber Hi Michael Michael Michael Michael got for a second I was like who's Michael

which I've done before on hand in the dirt when somebody was addressing Felder is week 12 we just fit past week 12 we're now into week 13 of the college football season nice save thank you

I know the chili's working already the mine on the stat sheet on the stat sheet this is one of those times that's recorded as a as a pass and a catch by the same player yeah i think since we are recording on tuesday before akron kent state has kicked off it is arguable we are still in week 12 what is that what is the ap poll say what is the ap poll is this the ap poll for week what

the ap poll turns over on like midday sunday right but is that hmm i mean that's okay that is that is but one arbiter because the next if the next week has not begun than has the previous one ended and the playoff ranking has it come out yet so okay yeah so i which do we so we've got we got three authorities here to choose from i think it's fair to pick either i i do it's week 12 12 and a half until akron kent state okay yes which is an incredibly important game anyway you're all hearing this on tuesday so this this is this is good playoff ranking is going to drop tonight

and BYU is going to go up. That's just how they see. You know what? It was an inspiring loss. I'm going to take them up to five. Is it like they can shrug off everything even a loss? Yeah. Just, yeah, just through the through through through through just through

BYU 224. They found a, found a trance of votes and. They did. We have some late reporting votes. You won't believe it. Yeah, from Provo. I don't say from Wisconsin somehow.

Yeah. It's really odd. Just. Yeah. Steve Kornacki zooming in on it going. These people really like bizarrely successful football. It is very funny that BYU and the Chiefs lost the same weekend because they've been the same team the entire time.

Despite their like BYU being like middling in terms of talent and the Chiefs being the Chiefs, they have nevertheless played as exactly the same football team, including the loss. That is nice. This also by the way puts our guy Jake Ratzloff as the Patrick Mahomes of college football, which who am I to argue? I think so. In every way.

Oh, in three minutes, I have a very important question to ask Brian. In three minutes. Yeah, we have to look for three minutes. Let's talk about something else. What if we sit in silence for three minutes? Let's just listen to the birds. I'll break first. I can't do that shit. Cowher can't? Can I update my

my promised Rutgers horse story that I talked about on Master Dark? Please do. Let me go find it. Hold on. All right. So this is from NJ.com. This is recently published.

This was published in October of this year by Adam Clark. So thank you, Adam, for your good work. on this. Free pass. Oh, fine. Hold on. I have to sign up

for an NJ.com account. Jesus. Look how the mighty have fallen. Two minutes now. I know. By the time I get this done, we're not even going to tell the horse story, which is a real shame.

Yeah, sure. Whatever. Rockus gets you again. It was great. They just chopped you. All right. Here it is. A ride into infamy.

this is the headline of this story. What year is that headline from? October 6th, 2024. Never mind. All right. Okay, so the name of this horse is Lord Nelson. The Rutgers mascot who prematurely galloped onto the field and into sports infamy on October 8th, 1994, nearly costing the Scarlet Knights a win over Army because he was flagged for unsportsman late conduct.

That's how you can tell them apart from the real Lord Nelson. I'm just going to do it help in battle. I'm just going to offer a few helpful quotes from this because I don't want to just paraphrase the whole article for you. Here is a good quote from the Rutgers head coach of the time, Doug Graber, after the win. We even got a dumbass horse around here. That's a quote. Uh-huh. Here are some of the people involved.

with this story a horse trainer who was on the field net that name that day his name is kenness nicknamed buttons fairfax but buttons fairfax uh important notes to know about the rucker's mascot at this time that's our second ruckers kenneth yeah this was a i'm sorry this is this is kness like dennis but with a k excuse me that is much better kenness buttons fair facts uh this was early into a partnership they had going with Medieval Times, which was a fairly new business at that point in time. Medieval Times originally said, we will send you a rider and a horse. Medieval Times, apparently, at some point before the season was like, no horse,

here's, we'll send you a rider, you have to figure it out, which is why this decommissioned police horse was the one that they decided to go with. Lord Nelson had been a police horse on a Rutgers campus. The incident that I mentioned on Fulcast After Dark, I will summarize here. This is from, I think, let me see who this person is, the director of the Rutgers Equine Science Center. A thing I did not know was real until this article. Lord Nelson liked to play tricks on people.

He would challenge you, and that was, I think, part of his strange sense of humor. There was an incident where police were called for a perpetrator that was on campus. Lord Nelson came galloping with an officer on his back across the lawn of the admin building he dropped his shoulder the officer came off and his weapon was dislodged

into our big passion puddle I'm not making these words up there's what is that according to this woman it's a huge pond for some reason it's called the passion puddle the entire pond had to be drained and dredged

because we had to recover that weapon there's some stuff in there there is some stuff in there Um, he, this horse was renown. I think why they had this horse as the mascot was he was very chill around people. They buttons mentions that they did photo shoots. Yes. Yes.

It's funny every time. Uh, he did photo shoots with cheerleaders and the gymnastics teams. He did a shoot with like the cannon team and he never flinched. Uh, according again to the director of the equine science center, his favorite part of home football games, was to do the tailgate before the game. He would stop at everybody's tailgate and just graze on what he wanted.

He loved hot dogs. He loved, he loved all kinds of food except tomatoes and Cheetos, which means that the horse tried Cheetos at a Rutgers tailgate and said, eh, do not like. Tomatoes can often be really gross, so he might have just gotten, you know,

particularly a disturbing tomato. Just imagine. Imagine a Rutgers tailgator and be like, the horse doesn't like tomatoes! That's my excuse, too. No, I don't have to like them either. New Jersey tomatoes aren't as good, it's true.

Trustful. This is the coolest horse ever. This horse was making friends. This horse told jokes. There's one more thing I want to find real quick here. Okay, so the head official went over to

Doug Graber, the Rutgers coach. who was just losing his mind on the sideline after this penalty. And he said, I went over to Graber because he wanted an explanation. And I told him that the Rutgers horse ran up the field and therefore I penalized them. He denied the horse was Rutgers's. He said, that's not our horse. I said, well, there's a night on it. In my opinion, it's a Rutgers horse.

That's, that is the most coat shit ever because they would be like, what can I do to get out of this penalty? What can I do to win? I'm going to bald-faced lie and deny the horse exists or is ours, despite a man in a suit of armor riding on the back with an R on it. That's not ours. We lease that horse. It's a rental. Yeah.

So, yeah, that's, that's, I'm not going to tell you all of, Lord Nelson died in April 2015. But this is, unfortunately, one of the things that he's. remembered for um but i there's more you can read on nj.com read about and again the word buttons appears in this article hold on 14 times 14 times we go to buttons fairfax horse trainer real person the carnivor the carnivorous hot dog loving anarchist horse that ruled the ruckers campus can you imagine how bad horse farts after the horse eats a bunch of hot dogs must some smells not made for that the stomach doesn't even the stomach doesn't even have the the the like driver for that they've got to download that you think it's just passing through on digest so the horse is running out

under the field with hot dogs just like a t-shirt cannon all right i just listen i often forget everything we do on the show but i didn't want to forget to tell you about lord Nelson. Holly, I know we've reached a time. What is it we need to do? I gave it 48 hours to see if anybody was going to pick it up. Okay. Because it felt like low-hanging fruit, which is tastiest. But on November 17th, which is a Sunday, in my opinion, at 2.25 p.m., you typed into blue sky that you had truly failed to consider the Titans are on TV every Sunday when you moved to Nashville. Yeah. Are you saying you didn't remember the Titans?

It's a good point. I gave the rest of y'all a chance. That was good. No one picked it up. I can't be mad at you. I have plucked this succulent orb from the trembling branch. What's wrong with low-hanging fruit? It's easy to get to, jumbies.

It's ripe. Yeah. Stop hating. It's delicious. Anyway, we got more problems. via several alert readers this is Elena Trine at CNN Ted Cruz will join Trump

and Elon Musk for the SpaceX launch in Texas this evening whose side is he on it will be interesting to see who wins because if he's rooting for gravity that could be bad uh-huh yeah who's the team here that's the thing is it's i guess rooting for gravity would be good because then the rocket would leave but if he's rooting for a local town to not be struck by the rocket

then we'll have problems is rooting for gravity like rooting for yukon basketball though depends on the decade i guess yeah it's close it's close i don't know if he's if he's not a coward he's going to go right up to that rocket watch it real close and call it slurs, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, in a really, coward, in a really, really weird accent, too, right? Are you going to do it?

You're going to do the accent? No, I'm going to attempt it because I would have to say a slur, right? Oh, you have to. You have to. I am being cowardly in a woke way. That's very, that's very clever. I think Ted Cruz, this is going to be his chance

to unveil his Mars accent, right? That's way. He'll just reveal what people say on Mars. I assume that's just, Spencer's Ted Cruz eggs accent you know according to the expanse Martians have Texan accents so Ted Cruz might be the first man on Mars that is true those that don't have what South African accents no she's a Kiwi mm yeah the uh who's who's where's Bobby from I forget Mars but she yeah it's like a uh it's like the original tech that Mars people were Texans

and they're very Texan about it I had it I had an expanse a straight expanse thought over the weekend, because I was thinking about the discussion that we've had before about hospitals and universities and space, which is that their workplaces, the CDC, there are workplaces like any other, and there's smart people in the office, and there's dumb people in the office, and there's people who shouldn't have that job. And I was thinking about the university expanse, and all the people, think about everybody in this scenario who would be deciding who gets to live in space and then think about the kinds of people that those people would select to come live in space how unbearable is life in space

it's it's like Northwestern grads wall to wall yeah they like the good parts of space would be all Northwestern and then the bad parts would be like you that's where we put the West Virginia graduates and like it's more fun there but it's also miserable right right Jason is instantly positing Space Vap Shop Space Casino Yeah

That's why they call it Vapor lot Yeah I'm the Matt Damon character An interstellar but instead I'm stealing the ship So we can open a lot of things Yeah thank you But especially Ocean's 13 Which company will push to be

The first fast food restaurant on Mars Panera Oh we can't no it's subway it's subway never mind there's got to be a subway there by now yeah it's probably already there well since they do no market research charge you a franchise fee and not even worry about whether that's what they're making their bread out of it's just moon dust being pressed into bricks why is this filled with a thousand yoga mats that's bread that's what the robot eats just tar just showing down on a subway sandwich

We're reaching back through time to tell you to eat something more flavorful. That's why the robots are in such a bad mood. All the time. Every time I watch Interstellar, I'm like, man, TAR sounds just like Bill Connolly. And it feels bad because, like, I'm not calling Bill a robot. I know he does numbers and he's really smart. No, he just sounds like Bill Conno. Their voices sound the same.

I am never going to dislodge this. Every time, I'm like, oh, man, this is going to be so good if you need. like sports information or whatever. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah, he's going to just drop some stuff on you while you're taking off, right? Like, wow. Yeah, space and planets plus. We're ascending faster than two lanes ratings in my F-plus.

Cooper, I have great news about Mount Union. Shut up! Wouldn't it be great if there was like a knob on Bill that you could turn the humor up and down on? I would have the total opposite reaction to Tars when like he tells a joke about shooting them out of the airlock on launch, right? He's like, yeah, he'll be real mad, but I'll shoot you out of the airlock or whatever. And he's like, can we tone it down to 75% humor? I'd be like, 125. Let's put drill in charge of this ship.

No, that's the thing. I just want to, it's a long way through space. And I just want build a shit talk inefficient programs the entire way there. yeah we're going to pass like literally years once we get to the wave planet Bill give me 10 straight years of talking shit about Oklahoma that's what I want I want you to just preview Kansas football for me every year there is no fresh hour out here here out here give me Tars but Zach Fox that's what I want

actually like tar at like 10% humor that is Elon Musk that's like negative 10% humor same body shape but like 10% is enough to like attempt jokes right like 0% is like yeah there's no jokes here but 10% is like look at this look at this meme from 2013 you like set on chive yeah yeah that's yeah that's yeah the robot humor I don't want to know I'm sure is upworthy still a thing probably I mean the full cast is still a thing so I'm sure me you think so surprised. You shut your whorethy.com. I bet this is it's doing

numbers. People are like y'all know what we wrote down in the offseason and never did? Do you remember the idea for haters upworthy? Look at this dumb bitch. Hater's upworthies just a right. Is that the daily mail? It's also a little bit reductrous. That's the New York Post.

I'm a dumb bitch with terrible. taste and I vote. Inspiring, this lactose intolerant woman is eating ice cream again. It won't be that bad, subhead. It's so much funnier that they're women. Go on.

Yeah. He means because Spencer doesn't think women can be funny. That's right. That's exactly it. He's got me for evidence. It's funny that women are writing. With their little hands. With their little hands. They're so much smaller than mine.

How do you hold a pencil? Oh, did you break a nail? You should bite. You should bite. Give me to carry your laptop. Like me. Do you find it hard to hold anti-Catholicism and anti-womanhood in your head at the same time? Oh, not at all.

Well, joining the line of many, that's also a proud tradition of Catholicism, I guess. Yeah. You'd think that would be something about Catholicism Spencer would like, but... Yeah, right. You know, I mean, you're describing Henry V. 8th, and it weren't great for him, so... Catholicism was never on the record to say, women are narrow in the shoulders and wide, or narrow in the head and wide in the fundament, okay? Martin Luther shouts out.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's a quote. I did not know Martin Luther got down like that. Martin Luther had some takes. Like, I'll... Yeah, yeah.

I'll stand with... the ones that he nailed to a door, the ones that he didn't he's on his own there. Did he even? Everything that's not on the doors is Burner account. Do you think there were theses that he was like, nah, that's not good enough?

Oh, 100% good. No. Okay. No, I don't. That man stood on business, all of it. Even while he had the shit demon plaguing him while he was chained to the toilet and whatever, and there's some wild shit going on there. But like everything,

Everything that made it under the door, cool, great, fine. Bangers own. Whoever it was that talked him out of opining on shit or whatever. Now I'm imagining one of those scrolls that is unfurled at the top of the steps and goes rolling down the steps. Only it's just a threat. It's like a warrior was a libertarian thread. Yeah, Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho's list of a thousand holds.

Theses could have gone on forever. It's like the 80-second thesis has to just be about a guy named like, John, right? Just like, hey, that guy, Johann, fuck him. Just throwing that in. Right there in the middle, like, wouldn't you, like, try and sneak in some recipe tips? You could have, because I will tell you, I ain't reading all that is an eternal sentiment throughout human history. Well, based on what I know about Lutherans, I'm assuming the recipes are all just like beer, what goes with beer? You know, you ever had chips with beer?

That's a hit. Bread, bread's good. Oh, geez, you know, a nice pretzel with a beer. like the C-78 is I propose a dish it is to be served in a deep oven dish it is to be piled ingredients not not just throw them in there

just stack them and cover them with cheese then slap into an oven for 375 Martin Luther invented nachos I was to say Martin Luther invented the bread bowl yeah I like this because somebody would have been like

but sir that's lasagna slaps him no none of your papist nonsense don't say that This is hot dish. Lazzania is a lie. A dish that is hot. Lasonia is not in the Bible.

It's true. It's true, Coach. That's what I would, that's what I, if I could make one change to the Bible, lasagna, maybe instead of manna, braiding down. Lazzania just splattering down from the heavens. Scoop it up, kids. This of course makes Garfield a biblically accurate. angel. Biblically accurate Garfield.

So he hates Mondays. Let's see. The day on which if you look at the story of creation, this is not incompatible. That's right. I mean, I would say Garfield's a biblically accurate angel. Because

biblically accurate angel can take any form. Oh my God. Okay, you guys know how miserable. Okay, you guys remember Garfield minus Garfield, right? Yes. Yeah. And you remember how miserable and just kind of stultifying the panels are. Yeah. It's a visual demonstration of hell being the absence of God.

Oh. That's good. And then hell is the world without you, the you would be referring to Garfield. Wait, wait. Now, are we doing podcast business? Because you have to tell us if you're doing podcast business. Podcast business. What's the business?

Podcast business. God of Garfield Biblically after Garfield He's an angel too If your world doesn't have The Garfield then you're sad And it's a literally hell without you Hey Jason

What's the name of your book bitch It's the hell is the world Without Garfield A.k.a. You are all Garfield. We're all Garfield sometimes, right? Yeah, sure. I've fought Garfield a time or two. Two quick things for me

I'm going to church That's the punchline. I'm going to Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church on this Sunday for a book event. It's the afternoon, the RSVP. It's all on my substack, free substack, Jasonkirk. FYI. It's at a church and we're going to the bar.

And also, I want to mail out some stickers, including like autographs that you can put on a copy of the book that maybe you give to someone for Christmas or what have you. Details also on my substack. If you buy a copy between now and December 7th, let me know about it. and get me an address. Can we have one? Do you not have one? But yes.

Jason going to church? I mean, I have the book. I just want a sticker. Yeah, I'll bring some stickers. Or I could get another book and give mine to say. I've given a number of copies to people at this point. Jason is the second funniest member to be seen in a church in this podcast. I don't know.

Who's the funniest? Me. Like, if you ever seen me in a church, something's gone drastically or someone died. What's the last time? Yeah, that is funny. what's the last non-fuderal non-wedding time you were in a church roughly man non-funeral non-wedding

1990 you don't have any godchildren or anything that you had to see and get dunked yeah I mean those okay so that would be are we are we counting those because I'll count I'll count that because that that's like yeah I'm fine with that counting oh like like 99 Okay.

Maybe. I have some excellent Godchild news. Yeah. Is that my godson got to see Lord of the Rings on the big screen for the first time this weekend. What's up, Bruce? Good stuff. I hope your parents aren't letting you listen to this, but I'm glad you had fun. Ryan, you got any podcast business?

I have collective podcast business. That makes me feel like we're in trouble. In a manner of speaking, we are. Oh, that's very true. We have previously discussed our live show that we are holding with the gentleman at Split Zone Duo. And Godfrey. And Godfrey, the non-gentleman, the miscreant. Godfrey, the ungainly.

Godfrey the unclean. That's on Saturday, January 18th of next year in Atlanta at the same venue where Jason had his big book party for hell is a world without you. Tickets for that are planned to go on sale this Thursday at 10 a.m. Eastern. You will be able to buy a ticket to the show if you want, or we will have a limited edition just for the show, combination, split zone, shutdown full cast shirt from our friends at Homefield. You can pre-order that as well. Will we have some on site? Probably, but not a ton.

And so if you want the shirt, buy it when you purchase your ticket. Again, that's going to be this week that those start to go on sale. And you will get to see Spencer and Godfrey play a game of one-on-one basketball. That's the guarantee. Absolutely the fuck not. There is, I will say, the content committee, which is Kirchner and I. We have discussed, you know, perhaps a silly hat Spencer could wear. that nature. So stay tuned for that. Is there a hat that could make him look?

Never mind. Like he can swim? Is that where you're going to sign? Not at all where I was headed, but that's much better. I'm just up there in full life aquatic gear. Oh, that'd be so badass. You'd have a clock. It would be so badass. If you come to the show, and listen, if we, if we sell this thing out, I'm coming in full Steve Zizu gear. If you come to the show, Spencer will bring his Glock. That's how you dress every day. That's not even a promise. Jokes on that. Yeah. That's true. That's true. But again, you can go to preowned airboats.com. That's where you'll find the link. We'll split zone have a link of their own. Probably. But why would you go to that one? Is it a race? No. Are we winning? Yes. Every day. In every way. Other than that, the only other thing I have, we are almost done with Who Killed College Football, the project I'm doing with Stephen Godfrey about how the heck college football turned into the thing that it is today. We have. one more episode on the epilogue to come out.

The episode we are prepping now is about the government. Thank you Senator Tommy Tuberville for weighing in on what should happen. It is the light that the federal government stands ready to fix all of college football's problems, which

according to Tommy Tuberville are hey, Indiana got good. We can't let that happen. Somebody do something. Ryan, back up. Tommy Tuberville said something newsworthy about football? Tommy Tuberville wants to craft NIL legislation that among other things would basically penalize players to broke their NIL contract early. I'm not entirely clear on what problem this solves. Like, it's not even suggested that when you sign an NIL contract, it's for

six years because the honor of you and local car dealership, that's a sacred bond that must to be honored. But he wasn't happy that you can quote, buy rosters at this point. I have already told Holly that my personal theory is that Tommy Tuberville is not doing this because he really wants to save college football. It's that he really wants to make life miserable for Old Miss and Lane Kiffin. Because if you shut down NIL transfers, who boys Lane Kiffon could have a bad time? Fortunately, this is the Senate, so we can just add a little earmark in there to the bill to make a carve-out for if you're accepting the Cincinnati job. Yes. Has everybody even vaguely associated with college football pointed out that aforementioned hypocrisy?

Yep. Does Tommy Tuberville appear to care? Not one bit, friends. Not one tiny fucking bit. So that's what I have for I like better when he was falling down airplane stairs But then again That's the only time I've ever liked him

Let's run it back Tommy Let's run it back Play the hits My favorite thing about that Was that the way he fell down Looked like it really, really hurt Oh yeah Yeah

He doesn't have a lot of like Padding There's no padding back there I'd be fine Yeah that's right That's what it is He needs to get on that Bob Menendez diet 300 nights a year

At a stakeout I thought you meant like armoured in gold. Yes. Yes. That's it. What kind of a shit, like what kind of a shit business senator are you if you not even armored in a little gold? If you're not putting in 200 nights a week at least. Are you nights a week?

Nights a week at the steakhouse. Yep. Yep. Hey, speaking of times per week since we haven't been gabbled out of podcast business, Spencer, do you have any business you want to discuss? I would love to. Yes, Channel 6, the Channel 6 newsletter. that Holly and I put together. We just put together.

What I think was like our finest top whatever in a while where we were just yelling about how much Brian Kelly sucks. That's right. Sometimes you can't tell which one of us writes the lead in the top, whatever. And this time, this week is not one of those times. You let Florida win a football game. That's loser shit. On the other hand, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, motherfucker.

Yeah. Go gaiters. We've also been. If you've been hanging around for a long time, you may know that during the season we have like a series of recurring features that people like. We have the top whatever. We have the Saturday morning chat. People like

those. We do too. But I don't know if it's the weather, but we were feeling a little creatively stymied the past couple weeks. So we've also, we've started throwing in three things during the week. We started throwing in thing threes that I can really only describe as like vintage EDSPS

fever dreams. How can inflation be real if I'm getting three things for my money instead of two. Hey, listen, nobody is more surprised that we are that we've been at this for three and a half years and have not broken the two things a week promise yet. We are statistically over delivering. We are not raising prices. And if you sign up for our $10 a week or $100 a month here right now, you can have access

to our entire back catalog, including last week's. I was kind of glad we published it when we did because writing about Georgia. just football team this week would make me want to open a vein. But it also introduced the notion of commuter sloths, which is giant sloths that you ride to work. Yeah. The green economy is real commuter sloths for all. You would not believe how many coaches and agents actually talk to us. And this is what we write with that information. That's true. We also said what was wrong. Listen, we are on bonus things. We have a pattern. Now I'm going to go with the trend of two. wrote about how awesome Camboard is

then immediately Miami lost. I wrote about what was wrong with Georgia football and Georgia immediately fixed that in one. Whatever I write about on Friday, if you subscribe, just let me know what do you want to happen because I'll write about the opposite of that. What do you need assassinated?

Yeah. What do you need fixed, broken, blown up, healed or otherwise reversed? Okay. Do you want me? Watch, I'm going to write on Friday. The Mississippi River flows south and always has. And on Saturday, boom, shit's going retrograde.

You're just going to hear it go. Yep. We're powerful, and I think for the low price of $10 a month, you should abuse those powers. So let me know. So you're saying that you have more power than you know what to do with. Yeah, yeah. But I can't apply it directly.

It only runs in reverse. So not less. I think this needs a little less. Right. More or less? Right. What else do you have more of? just off the top of your head.

More or less, we must be talking about prize picks. That's right. Proud sponsor of this program. Prize pick. I don't say that. Are they? Proud. Ow!

Loud, loud sponsor. Loud sponsor. Of prize pick. The best place to get real money sports action. Reluctant sponsors of this loud podcast. That's right. 10 million loud members and billions of thunderous dollars in awarded winnings. Price Picks has made daily fantasy sports accessible.

as members. You did that, not me. Yep. All you need to do is pick. I'm making free throw noises. More. More.

More. More. Less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash. You could run your game. Spencer, I have a question. Yes. What if I don't want to pick less? You can pick more.

More. Oh. Yes. Yeah. If you don't want to pick more, guess what you can do. More. Less. You can pick more or less. That is true. You can pick less more often.

More or less, yeah. Which is still more. Or you can embrace Jason's philosophy. More. Just more. More. Infinite growth. You need an infinite growth mindset. Max sliders. Max sliders. Wow. Spencer coming out hard against gains.

We need gains on top of our gains, okay? We need to do the thing I've been doing, which is, Yes. Believe in Carson Beck because whatever was going on in that head of his, he just went for a drive and the Lambo came back. It's all good now. We've got to get a sponsor next time that doesn't rely upon Spencer saying, do what I do so much. This can't work well. Sorry if you hate profits. Unless it's a Warhammer paint company. Spencer, what's that promo code? Oh, that promo code is full cast. You could download it today and you can get $50 instantly after you play your first $5. lineup. That is correct. With your first $5

lineup, download the app and use code full cast to get $50 instantly. Price Picks! Run your game. We are going to play the game we always play on this show. Sponsored by Price Pix, more or less, and then we will get to the last ad

of podcast business. This was inspired by a horrifying statistic that was revealed to me by user Cobtometrist on Blue Sky. I'm going to read it verbatim. The last time Nebraska won a game where their opponent scored more than 21 points

was in 2020. We are approaching four full seasons where if Nebraska, if the Nebraska defense allows 22 points or higher, Nebraska cannot win the football game. I thought that guy was joking. I checked, and it's not a joke. It's absolutely correct.

So, because I don't, I am at the point where I just feel bad, and I don't need to further dunk on Nebraska, at least today. I'm not doing on Nebraska at all. They're my people's team, which can mean a lot of things, clearly. That's fair. I have selected pairs of teams, and Spencer, we will make you play this week. All right. I'm going to give you two teams, and I'm going to ask you, from 2021 till today,

the same time frame that Nebraska has failed to beat a team that has scored when they allow more than 21. I'm going to give you two teams, and I'm going to ask you which one has more wins than the other in the same scenario. You understand the rules of the game? Yes, where the other team scores, or where the other team scores 21 points on their defense. At least more than 21 points. More than 21 points, yes. Okay. Which team has one more in this specific Nebraska misery scenario in the last three seasons and change?

Auburn or Florida? Boy, that's rough. I'm going to say Auburn. Auburn has two wins since the start of the 2021 season when they at least 22 points. Florida has seven. Wow. Florida's defense has not consistently been good enough to be in this situation,

quite frankly, at Auburn's just doesn't win that many games. Hold on. Let me hit some of this, Alex Jones, mine chili. Okay, mine chili time. Go. Yeah. Forget all that you've known. Become reborn.

Me so powerful. Pure your mind. Purify your mind of sin. All right. Something long for the mind chili. Corrilla mind. Who has scored? Who has one more games where they allowed at least 22 points in the last three seasons and change?

Cal or Yukon? Oh, that's rough. I'm going to say Yukon because I would never say it. So that must be the right answer. Yukon has done this four times. Cal seven wins in this situation. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That's the stuff. Yeah. All right. Tank it. Spencer, we got three more pairs.

It's fine. Who has pulled this Nebraska impossible scenario off more times? Northwestern or Wisconsin? I went counterintuitive last time, so I'm going to just go straight. Wisconsin. Wisconsin's done it three times. Northwestern four. Jesus.

This is my. hard. All right. Here's, here's what may be the hardest pair you're going to get. Has Rice won more games where they allow at least 22 points since the start of the 21 season? Or has USF won more games in that same scenario? I'm going to say USF. I'm 0 for three. You're 0 for four, bud. God damn. USF has done it plenty. They have seven wins. Rice, 10 wins where they have allowed at least 22 points. Nebraska rice has done this 10 times and you can't do it once

Rice fired their coach Things are not good and awesome at rice All right your last chance here This is this if you if you can't But I think I'm going to clean sweet I think this is actually the easiest one And I'm not saw puppeting it Which is what the saw puppet would say

That's exactly what saw puppet would say All right I'm not the saw puppet he said Kicking his little legs in the chair He said sawpuppet elite He said saw puppet-sau-puppeteally? Yeah. All right. Virginia or Southern Miss?

Ryan, I didn't mean your legs are little. I meant that the puppet's legs are little because, on account of being a puppet. Okay. That's fair. I appreciate that. I'm going to, I'm going to say Virginia. You have pulled yourself out of the fire. Virginia has done this seven times.

Southern Miss, again, Nebraska. I said I wasn't dunking on you, but it turns out I am on accident. Southern Miss has done this four times since 20. 21. Please, Nebraska. You cannot put yourself in a situation where your defense has to play the greatest game of all time where you automatically lose. That's bonkers. The end zone's really far away, Ryan. It's all the way down there. You ever tried to get all the way down there through all this guys? You know what? You know what? I haven't. I am a coward. So that concludes more or less. That leaves us with one final piece of podcast business. Holly, you know what it is. Not at all.

It's homefieldapparel.com. Homefieldapparel.com. I'm wearing it right now. Do you have any home field apparel gifts that you are getting anybody this year that doesn't, for people who don't listen to this show that you would feel comfortable saying? Not that don't listen to this podcast, but I have to tell you, I have given a number of gifts this past year outside of the holiday setting. because of

home fields love of and support of Tennessee baseball, a college baseball, particularly Tennessee baseball. They're the most important, one because they are the team that won the national championship.

You might have heard Tennessee does have a team besides women's basketball that brings home trophies once in a while. And I just happen to be wearing a Tennessee national champion baseball shirt right now. I've given them to everyone.

We don't get to celebrate much. Thank you, Homefield, for helping us celebrate that. They also just released, you might have heard, the sickest 90s-inspired shiny pullovers for a number of gem-toned schools. I cannot recommend picking up one of those enough, especially if you get. Again, my two favorites are Tennessee's, which has the Rifleman logo. which is a silhouette of Davy Crockett and a Coonskin hat,

firing it, I don't know, whoever's standing immediately next to you. And the other one is Ole Miss because the font on theirs looks like a John Grisham novel, and I have to think that was on purpose. Homefield also has just re-opt a bunch of their hat collection. We mostly talk about Homefield for the sweatpants and the T-shirts and the crew necks and the hoodies and such,

but they are now up to a whopping, I'm showing 288 products in the hat section. And one thing I think I can say quietly, Homefield doesn't sell NFL apparel. They have dabbled with cult stuff, so that's not entirely true. But there is an Eagles hat available on Homefield Apparel that is not for the Philadelphia Eagles. I believe it's the Eastern Mission hat if memory serves. very popular in the Philadelphia market

from what I'm afraid, because that home field apparel schools can be whatever you want them to be. In Philadelphia schools can be whatever you want them to be. That's right. Bird compatible. Bird compatible. Bird compatible. There we go. Homefield apparel.

You use offer code fullcast. You get 20% off your first order, which as we've said before could potentially save you hundreds of thousands of dollars. Don't worry about the math that leads to that scenario. I think that's true. Technically, the math, math math. Biblically accurate home field apparel bill. We have good hearts and that's all

that matters. That's right. That's right. Okay. Does that conclude podcast business? In a manner of speaking. Okay. Holly, can I just read this note that you've dropped into our group chat? Well, it's really more of a yes, yes, but it's really more of a pass to Jason. Sure. Holly, uh, Holly's request to Jason. Can we do the Cybertruck Hooters Thanksgiving next? Folks, it's time for Cybertruck Hooters Thanksgiving. Come along with me, if you will, on a magical journey. So just, I think just as an example of the amount of juice that Blue Sky has at the moment,

and for the foreseeable future, like it's where all the juice is flowing. Let's put it that way. yet last night subscriber Joe Flynn passed along to David Roth friend of the program regardless whether he ever listens to it it's about a sport he doesn't pay much attention to

which is wise of him the Mets don't play here so I understand passed along to David Roth a photo of a Hooters establishment in the parking lot of this Hooters establishment is none other than

a vehicle parked backward dad style that vehicle is a cyber truck this post the skeet on blue sky is captioned all caps cyber truck at hooters cyber truck at hooters um and uh this i i i've been i've been on blue sky year and a half this is the best um like post party i have seen about it is um a a like a meme on there. It's like instantly a blue sky meme, cyber truck hooters. Outside of like the past football weekend, which is great on there, this is my

single favorite thing that has ever happened on that site. And like, I've seen it all. No one needs to explain to me the things that I'm not, this tops the other one. I thought this week we had the first legendary reply, which was a guy talking about inviting people to a murder mystery and Amanda Knox replying to him saying she was

going to pass. It's truly the everything out. This surpassed even that. And I think my favorite, if there's an over, if there's a theme of a pie chart of the replies, my favorite is the one where, not the one, the dozens of people who immediately picked up that, yes, the cyber truck is backed into the space, a fact that I did not notice at first glance, and which brought up the question in my brain, how do you tell if a

cyber truck is backed into a parking space? And the only answer I could arrive at is you just have to rely based on what you know about cyber truck drivers that, yes, this driver has done so. Oh, yeah, that's true. You kind of have to take it on faith. There is a very easy way to do it in person. Approach the cyber truck and see which end severs your finger. That's the back.

That's the easiest way to tell. If you try to run away from it, are you able to? If so, the rearview mirrors seem to be in the correct places, which is surprising for a Tesla vehicle. Like if you get into an Uber and it's a Tesla, it's sort of like, Like, how the fuck do I open this door? Just tell me. Tell me how to open the door.

And they have to explain it every time. We got the rarest of all those birds in the replies here to a reply girl who said that, well, you can tell if the truck's backwards because the side mirrors, to which I say, how the fuck do you know where the side mirrors on a cyber truck are? I think that's the thing. That's not information I have. You just have to sort of like trust that they're where a side mirrors should be, which is a lot of trust to ask. Like Indiana Jones walking the path of the penitent man.

That's right. That's right. It's like, is the cyber truck lying to me? Did they modify it to put the side mirrors in a stupid place? Because it seems like something they would do? Is it gas lighting me? Because I'm a dumb bitch. It's electric lighting you.

It's different. Yeah. I appreciate this photo because now we no longer need the clownfish sea anemone to explain mutualistic relationships in nature. We have this. We have Hooters and Cybertruck. The cyber truck. draws in the divorce the cyber truck attracts the divorce dads it is the bait and then the hooters

ensnars them and feeds this this is like a salmon stream swimming upstream to a lake where the girl sammons do not want to see this salmon at all hey before we get into the thought exercise that goes with this thread uh i recognize a lot of our of our own long timers in these replies can i just read a couple of loud in appreciation please do please so just in chronological order top to bottom from major what's in the passenger seat three season passes to the zoo from beef frowning supervised visits hall of famer from dan arrestia one thing's for sure he's being really respectful in there definitely from coda avalon if you make a snake pit don't be surprised if it's filled with snakes from adam trotter uh who was the first to point out that honestly

with this thing, it's hard to tell that he backed in, which makes him extra brave. From Philip, and he made sure to reverse into the spot, I would bet all my money he sees his kids twice a year. From Damon, chronically listed as doubtful ankle monitor.

Congratulations, and that's like half the threat. Congratulations to everybody. This was, oh, this was a marvelous time. Wonderful to watch. And truthfully, Congratulations to CyberTruck Hooters patron. Like, I- Fully realized male.

I think lots of us maybe go through life worrying about like, am I being my most authentic self? Am I like, you know, really self-actualized? This my brand really means. This person hasn't worried about that for a fucking second. This person is just living as hard as they can. Coming out of this cage and he is doing just fine. Just cyber trucking the fuck out of it.

Also, congratulations to David. Roth for being the first person Joe thought of when he saw a side of I gotta show I gotta show Roth this I must take this to the mountain top yeah sir look what I found listen David writes almost not exclusively but extensively about Donald Trump and the Mets it makes sense to bring this to our buddy Roth has been on the Trump beat since like 2014 he's gonna get he should get a Nobel Prize for writing about crap world right yeah like the average crap world that everyone inhabits this man in this photo with the cyber truck at hooters

is a duke of crap world david david is brent spiner's character in independence day where it's like oh you're you're the weirdest have been very exciting you're the one who knows what this is you're the one who understands how to interpret all of this uh also another item in the replies someone um this is six 60 shades of gray uh replied with a cyber truck that has been painted in the style and with the cover photo of Weezer's blue album. No explanation.

None whatsoever. That was set me on a spiritual level. The truck is blue in that character, as depicted. The Weezer part, it turns out, was photoshop. I don't care. That doesn't make it less upsetting. Except that it

will now. Someone will do this. See? Yeah. Exactly. This spawned a whole separate thread of like weezer cyber truck jokes there was a lot

of say it ain't so and a lot of should have left that one in the garage my name is Jonas I got shout support to

pay the one that I was trying to work my way toward and I didn't get there I still I'm still happy with where

I ended up which was you take your car to work mine just explodes but where I was trying to get was

only in flames incredible so you're saying you kind of had to go across the sea for that one yeah there was a lot of people like wow I know which I know which Weezer song

is the cyber truck guy's favorite there was that and there was also oh we found the guy who takes no one else literally what a business model to take somebody who was already probably not exactly viable on the dating market

stuff them full of chicken and grease and then put them on a or they're uncomfortable and teetering and probably drunk off of eight to 12 beers. Hey, speaking of uncomfortable and teetering, we did have a thought exercise that goes with this. What's this guy's Thanksgiving? I think you're looking at it. It's already underway.

I think he's picking up right now. Are we seeing the future? Oh, oh, this reminds me because we have some family travel stuff going on. So, like, we're going to be in different states on Thanksgiving. So, like, we, our household is going to do our Thanksgiving on Tuesday. So Emily was like, well, let's just get a bunch of stuff that you like, and then we can leave all the leftovers here with you. So she's like, we're going to do Popeye's turkey.

So she went to Popeyes like two weeks ago, like, you know how you do when you go to HoneyBake Ham or whatever, and you're like, all right, I need to order a turkey for Thanksgiving. She went to Popeyes, and she was like, all right, can you set aside a turkey? And they're like, what? She's like, you know, can I just like reserve a turkey? This is responsible Emily, going to chaos world and asking. like can you enter my name in the spreadsheet and they're like uh no one has ever asked us to be this organized before i'm actually really interested to see how this goes for her yeah so literally they were

like the manager like it was a huddle and they're like uh i don't know write her name on that one it's like a tug-o-war from two opposite ends of the universe yes like the most orderly person i know in the least orderly place and something beautiful will happen i have found it overlap but like she's so she's so nice and so like emily is one of the those people. Hi, Emily. Well, you know, to listen to this. You're too smart. No, she's too smart. Emily is one of those people who just, like, radiates, like, good cheer at all times. And I wonder if that's going to carry her here. I think so. I think they'll be like, oh, the nice lady wants us to do math or something, I guess. Because her niceness is extremely

powerful, is what I'm saying. I think it's, you know, at Popeye, you get what you deserve, right? Mm-hmm. And so if you're a very nice person, maybe you get the turkey for me. Ultimately, I'm the winner here. So Hooters at Thanksgiving. I have found a post. Is there a menu? So I have found several specials. This is apparently a drink specials. Yeah, there's a store by store thing.

But I have found two that are particularly relevant to our world and universe. Long Island trial separation ice tea. The trial separation is implied when I read this to you. Hooters. The family court wing bucket. Open at 5 p.m. Thanksgiving Day. Saints play at 7.20 p.m. Oh, fuck.

For 1999, you can get 10 smoked wings and a pitcher. That's from a previous Thanksgiving. I want to back up. You mean the first Thanksgiving, Spencer? That was the first Thanksgiving. I thought this was sad. It was actually a service. If you know a Saints fan who wants to go to Hooters on Thanksgiving,

let them do that instead of spending time. Like, this is a good thing. This is an helpful thing. If you are a saint who's going to Hooters on Thanksgiving, call us. So this week, this, Thanksgiving

night game is Dolphins Packers, which is slightly less depressing than a Saints game. Hooters Tallahassee will also also frequently open

on Thanksgiving. I got one more to try. Yeah. I hope those young ladies are being, uh, getting a lot of money for dealing with the,

literally the world's saddest people. You get a 20% military discount if you go to Hooters. On Thanksgiving? Thank you for your service. So the cyber truck troop Thanksgiving at Hooters. Like, my God, man. You can, listen, you can just drive your Hellcat right up to Hooters.

Your tank, I mean. You can park next to the guy in the cyber truck and the other guy in the cyber truck. And you can get 10 smoked wings and a pitcher for 1999. Oh, my God. Nature is unhealing. the Cincinnati Inquirer I can't imagine how many requests made this happen

but the Cincinnati Inquirer has a story from June of this year Hooters closes at least 40 restaurants how many in Ohio were still open that's right that's right that are as of June that were allegedly four

just to be safe this also listed two in northern Kentucky but they listed only four Hooters look is left open, none of which are in Columbus. Let's check Toledo. Does Ohio have a scantily-clad chili spaghetti restaurant? Oh, man.

Like, horny skyline? It feels like a high-risk environment. That feels dangerous. Oh, here we go. Hooters Toledo, Instagram. Who even eats turkey on Thanksgiving anymore? It's all about the chicken wings. Spread your, spend your Thanksgiving with us

and treat yourself to the feast of your dreams. We start cooking at 4 p.m. See you soon. This is two years ago. Also, don't worry. There's a Twin Peaks in Columbus, Ohio. Oh, my God. There are many Twin Peaks in Ohio.

Yeah, and it's spectacularly successful offshoot three peaks, the alien-themed one. Okay. Time for looking at the schedule. Looking at the schedule game Let's go right back to Ohio Yeah Speaking of Columbus We're gonna be nude

And it's gonna be big What would a Joel Klat-themed restaurant Look like? Everyone just pondered that According to Gus Johnson Joel Klat was a little fat boy Gap sound So it'd be like fat guys Chubbies

Again, you can start a successful restaurant chain If you just take the worst assumptions about humanity And put them right through your mouth all at the same time Chubbies, we serve fat burgers Big Nudies You remember back in like early early EDSPS That we invented the notion of racks Before racks the restaurant existed

It was going to be like a ribs joint But in I think in ours the waiters just wore overalls with nothing under them Big nude salad is brought to you by Sex Arbys Ryan every Arby's in the sex arbyes

We have naked meats The Arbyes with sex They don't have to change their motto It's right there Who wants some horsy sauce The Arbys where you are the turnover That's surprisingly disturbing Horsy sauce

All right What can you tell us about the schedule, friends? Well, Indiana does play Ohio State at Columbus. 11 W Indiana! In the most exciting, the nation is, like, so many people, at least in the media, are ready for Indiana to lose this game by almost any amount and be like, trash never belonged in college. I love that point the season where it flips. And everyone's like, yeah, Indiana's great. And it's like, oh, fuck Indiana.

Which I could see if they were about to like, if they were a total scam that was about to like, that was about to like take up a spot in a four-team playoff yeah it's a 12 playoff half the first round is going to be trash yeah gives a shit like we don't need nine to win SEC teams in here we're going to get on in indiana that's not even griping about the SEC that's just indiana has been great for 10 weeks yeah also like come on are you worried that we're going to have to do this every year like i'm so sick of indiana i want actually ryan you've beaten me to my counter-contrary intake, which is this, that Indiana wins, but not by enough. And we're like,

was it really impressive? They only beat them like, it was like 13-10. Anybody else gets that win? You talk about gutting it out. They needed three turnovers to beat Ohio State. I'm taking Ohio State down to four. Three turnovers. It's a better loss than anything

Indiana has on their record. Ohio State's lost the two top five teams. Indiana has it. We got a reward Ohio State strength of schedule for playing Indiana. It's like, yeah, it's, everyone very much has this like, all right, time to cut the crap.

We're in big boy zone. Only big boys from here on out. Like, Texas A&M, as if they have any better track record than fucking Indiana. And all this team that lost to Kentucky deserves this spot. Big boys only. Get your little ass out. I know you've won every game by a million

points. That sucks. We need a real team like Texas here that got absolutely hand-blasted on their own turf. Texas meet Michigan, Indiana meet Michigan, that's different. I think right now, you know, considering a playoff is essentially

an argument about who deserves a title shot, I think the way, you know, Ole Miss has played, I'm like, they might be the best team in the country. Right, right. If I were getting hand-blasted on my own turf, I'd stay at Cybertruck Hooters. Just farting

that cushion up. That's what I'm doing. It's the same vibe. They got cushions? That seems impractical. when like the twins might go to the world series or like the kings the kings don't make friends the twins are going to the world series wait that's not what you meant at all that's not yeah all right i thought we were done talking about sex arby's we're never done talking about sex arbyes sponsor a bit of saturday irvin me just off to the side googling sex arby's near he is no longer

on set he is in a car yeah no i got to fucking find this place Meets Sex Arby's near nursing school He's just screaming into his phone Put a Dazio on camera for me I'm putting together a team One last job One last hand job

One last hand job That's sex arbyes Sometimes I like to look over my shoulder To see if my neighbors can hear It is a pension It is a pension It is a pension universe yeah no it sounds like a pension story that fell through another universe a sexier universe

we have a playoff where like Arizona State might get a first round buy and you're worried about Indiana yeah yeah yeah also I would like if Arizona State got a first round to be clear that would rock that would be awesome yeah I would like the world where Arizona State and Indiana get first round buys I want Army and Boise State in here and I want Arizona State and Indiana and with first round buys. I went Georgia and Alabama out. Hey, do you want to know some comedy? I have some comedy on the schedule for you because I picked it too much.

Is it Florida trying to get bowl eligible with Ole Miss coming to them? Ignore that game. Do not look at it. Excuse me, the resurgent Florida Gators? You could win that. Bypass it to something much funnier. You absolutely could win. Okay.

And you will get so many right points. And by the way, Holly. I've been right about Florida all fucking season. What are you talking about? We owe so many right points to Holly. like right point deficit oh do you mean the gamers okay i think about the show okay no this guy me i'm so in all i got the royal spencer yes the bank of spencer has a massive debt like greek level defaults oh yeah like our children are paying for our mistakes that kind of right point debt

not my children yeah um i call I've had this on for like six months, I think at this point as the funniest possible game that could happen in terms of an upset. Kentucky at Texas. Kentucky at Texas. One in six in conference, Kentucky. I can think of no point

where I would be more confident in Kentucky's ability to upset Texas than when they were one in six in conference. Dangerous. At the very least, at the very least, especially as we said last week, coming after the Arkansas game, this feels like it has body blow potential to create a cumulative effect heading into the Thanksgiving week game that Texas has against a team that I can't

remember because it's not like their rivals, but I'm sure it's important. Yeah, this is a huge look-ahead game. You also know, like, you can picture in your mind what the Kentucky win over Texas looks like, and it's not like, oh my God, it looks disgusting. It looks disgusting. Yes, yes, it's the remnants of a sex Barbies is what it looks like that you mean after a really good time who the fuck are these guys why are we playing yeah yeah imagine uh god and this is this game is in austin but can you imagine look it's that time of year i'm just going to talk about it again i know you're all sick of it but can you imagine like texas fans going to a and m i feel like would be fine because their stadium is on the moon but can you imagine texas fans going to lexington at night for the first time for a game

Who the hell's Kroger? The black goat with a thousand young Just offered to park my car The ground's so bumpy Just like Eldrich Horrors offering to sell them corn dogs Can you do Zen And chewing tobacco at the same time?

You have to. RFK is about to find out. One is a beverage and one is a snack. Come on. Yeah. Is there anything midweek that we want to talk about before we get to set.

There's a Thursday night game of some interest. Okay, okay, sure. It's North Carolina State at Georgia Tech. I would say that this is the most Thursday night game ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not Virginia Tech, are you sure?

Yeah, no, I'm sure. I might hold out for Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech on a third year. Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech is for whatever reason, always a solid crowd. I think NC State and Texas, it's more just weird. And when I want Thursday night ACC,

I want like, you know, I want people tuning in like, oh, right, I forgot these schools played football. Yeah. Somebody's going to try a fake field goal. And instead of being like, what a cunning play, it'll be like, why did you do that? That's a Thursday night game for me.

I've been kind of holding out this wasted hope that as various tech companies build up in and around the NC State area, that this will create more of a rivalry between instee state and georgia tech so let's see how this yeah yeah yeah that'd be it's a Thursday night games at Georgia Tech if you've if you've never been are a highly underrated an underrated hangout it's it's honestly it's it's one of the few times that uh I feel like they have a actual home environment yeah yeah much better than any Saturday game I've ever

been there are the Thursday night games I think it's like no one can actually no it's everyone who works in Atlanta cannot leave town they just have to stay there so they're just at the stadium like a hive yeah um Friday night UNLV San Jose State

probably worth watching like San Jose put a good scare into Boise for a good part of that game and UNLV is still a perfectly fun team to watch don't watch Purdue Michigan State don't even look at that

why would you even say that I don't even think about that. Nope. Don't do that for one minute. Yeah. In fact, I want you to do this. Follow us all on Blue Sky and tag me and be like, hey, I'm watching Purdue, Michigan State. I will stage an online intervention before you.

Are you suggesting that you're like people's Big Ten sponsor? I am their sponsor. I will tell you when not to watch a game. Okay. I will help you through this. Okay. Just be like, hi, I'm watching this. What do I do?

And I'll be like. So if you tag Spencer during this game, he will give you a movie to watch instead. I will, I will tell you a movie or a television show that you could enjoy. Spencer knows a lot of movies. Yeah. They will all be. Why are all these phantom minutes?

Boy Scout. Because I'm a giver. Because I like good things. There are so many games on Saturday that just I just see beige. I just see like plaid. You're just like, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of that.

This is the most random. ineffective scheduling ever. This is the candid salad weekend. I mean, I look at it as there are very few like, oh, awesome, that's, you know, whatever, but every single game, I'm like,

well, you know, that could, either outcome is interesting, you know, like there's a lot of funny pair. Yeah, great example. Sure, completely unpredictable. Horses. I'm eyeing one of the worst teams in FCS playing, one of the least accomplished teams in

FBS. Charleston Southern Florida State, how hard has FSU quit? Let's find out. The winner will have two wins. Let's put it that way. If you lose to Charleston Southern, I might have been right when I joked about this guy getting fired because Wisconsin has just fired their offensive coordinator. So I'm sure everything's fixed in fine. Probably for being Phil Longo. Why? Who was their offensive coordinator? It'd be Phil Longo. You might have been familiar with this work from Old Miss. That can't be him.

That's a super fucking weird hire. It'd be very weird, and it was a weird hire. But it is no longer a weird hire. How long has it been since we were right about a coaching hire? Because this is the only one I can think of. I felt decent about this one, but the question was like, will it work to combine nitrous with cheese? And it turns out it didn't.

Cheese nitrous. You know what? Thumbs down. Science demands testing. Sex Arby's. Science demands cheese foam. The new knight and cheddar at Sex Arbys. He was going to do the job, but then Phil Longo looked over at the green goblin mask, and it was like, five wide at the goal line.

Brobelow gnaz. Oh. Like you're losing the race for pink slips. And you got to punch it. So you dump cheese into it. Squeasy tube. And jaw rules says, No.

BYU Arizona State. Literally absolutely no one would have circled this is a really important game, but it's very important. Extremely. It is right. And it is on this schedule right next to another game that is extremely important for Colorado's hopes.

They have to go into Kansas and come out with a win. Why? What's Kansas done? just fucked up everything at the top of the big 12 Days after Kansas Put everyone in the Big 12 in a predicament I'll add only a two and a half point favorite here Because Kansas has been better than their bad record

Mm-hmm This is whenever you make fun of Vegas Just just look at a game like this They get it. It's their job to get it Kansas has become the biggest meanest crab in this bucket Yeah I got two other 330 games that I've got two 330 games that are vying in my head for the chance to do the funniest thing ever title of the week.

I think I know one of them, but go ahead. The first person with that chance is PJ Fleck. Oh, that's not where I was going to go. Who is hosting the visiting Penn State. And the second one is the Citadel at Clemson on the CW. Oh, wow. I guess both wrong. Excuse me.

The five and six Citadel at Clemson. on the CW. Chance to get to 500. Let's get it, boys. My personal, the game closest to my heart is, of course, the Tribulation Force trophy on the CW Network when Washington State faces Arizona State for the Pac-12 Championship.

And around the same time, if there was one game where I could speak an outcome into existence, I would, but I can't. That would be undefeated Army going to Notre Dame. As a 16-point underdog, we like the big spread. But, like, if Army can do this, we have an entertaining series of... You think we love the troops now. We have some entertaining discussions ahead of us.

Like, Army could take Notre Dame spot in the playoff. Oh, that tickles just say... Holly, I thought one of the games you were going to go with was Texas Tech, Oklahoma. State because that's very serious i would never laugh at oklahoma state's predicament or that of that's true jerky like coach if you did it proves you're broke and you don't have the money to go to drive your cyber truck to hooters that's for them sure it's either broke or poke there's no it's like the opposite of i sleep in a big bed with my wife i drive a big truck to the parking lot of Alone.

Oklahoma State 3 and 7, 0 and 7 in conference play. They are barring some 5 and 7 sneak around. They are going to miss a bowl game for the first time since 2005. Come to sex arbyes for the sneak around. They haven't lost since days after 9-11. Or haven't won since right after 9-11. Why don't you have to stand behind me and feed me the sandwich? If they can't beat Texas Tech, Oklahoma State's last conference game will come against a resurgent having a very good year, Colorado team.

And they have not gone, there have been bad Oklahoma State teams, not really under Mike Gundy. This is shaping up to be the worst of his tenure. Right now they would have to win one more game to be the, to match his first year in 2005. They have not gone winless in conference play since 1994 when they went 3, 7, and 1. That's right. The last time Oklahoma State was this bad ties were still a thing. So, yeah, I'm going to keep an eye on that one. Mike Gundy was only 37, I think.

Yeah, sure. If they lose this one, and they are a home underdog, by the way, which God, they have to go on the road to face a Colorado with possibly everything to play for. Colorado might be trying to, like, clinch a Heisman against you. Yeah. Yeah. Not ideal. I need you around 7 p.

Fortunately, Mike Gundy's vaunted defensive chops. We'll be there to shore them up in Boulder. I'll park backwards. That way I can get out quicker. Get the fuck out of here. The back in, only it's sex armies. Listen, we're having our fun, but it's Mike Gundy, so we can all agree on one thing, which is that no matter what happens, it won't be his fun.

fault. That's true. That's true. It'll be poor people's fault. Blame it on the gnomes of Zurich. Personal responsibility. You know, I was pulling myself up on my bootstraps, but they snapped. Damn, Chinese. Making these cheap shoes. Next time, I recommend you buy American.

This is how we get a 30-minute rant about the... I'm not talking about the steroids that you put in your body. Keep buying those from wherever you are. They're doing great. It's the free market when I get my Chinese steroids. But when these shoes suck, we need to tariff that, but not my roids. No, no, man. These steroids are from Azerbaijan. I know it when I see it.

Ah, As serious steroids. They're what made still water great. At 7 p.m. 7 p.m. No, I need you to pay attention to one thing. I know. I know. I know where this is going on.

No, no, no. I don't think you do it. At 7 p.m., this game will have been going on for three hours, which means that we will be no more than 15 minutes. from somebody absolutely fucking up the end of this game, Pittsburgh at Louisville. The decisions made at the end of this game will shatter your soul, test your mind. If you don't, if you need a challenge,

if you're like, I've seen things that don't make sense. I believe. Can you put a stall warning on a football game? Terrain, terrain, flat spin. Pull up, pull up, pull up. It's, is, this game still going to be going at midnight there's still going to be like referees

on the sideline rifling through the manuals. Pat and Arduzzi will still be yelling at the at the referees at midnight. That's for damn sure. Eight weather delays. Like, yeah, I can see that all happening to this game. This past time, he had a point. Can I tell you a good story?

I learned. This is not podcast business. The next episode we're not all like this is about the Pitt Panthers and a story that's not on the episode that I learned from one of the interviews. At the Pitt Clemson game, one of the people I talked to was at the game. And you know at college basketball games, when the shot clock is running out, the crowd will do the like, five, four, three. The pit crowd started doing this for the play clock because Pitt's offense kept getting delay in games.

And I've never heard of that happening at a football game before. Help them out. Help them out. Sometimes as that's true, like sometimes as it winds down, you'll hear like an anxious roar kind of rumble up. Yes, yes. Not in concert, no. They gave him the full count von count. That's all.

It's like being at a high school game where you hear like the quarterback's uncle in the stands loud, shouting like to extremely specific instructions. Ball, ball, ball! Yeah. Sea gap coming. Seagap coming. That's all. That's all I wanted to share.

Come get the sea gap coming. And sex arby. Sex and Texas of America's crumbling infrastructure versus birds with Human teeth at Sex Arby's. Sex Arby's located next to Thanksgiving Hooters.