Shutdown Fullcast - The Coaching Carousel Quiz

Episode Date: February 5, 2019

You might not have been paying close attention to all the coaching changes in college football over the last couple months, what with bowl games and the playoff and early signing day and the New Year's party you planned that went off the rails because Todd brought Bacardi 151 even though you only asked him to get a couple bottles of wine. Most of us weren't paying attention either, so Jason decided to quiz us as a team to see how many coaching hires we could name.  But first Ryan made everyone talk about Noah, and then Spencer and Holly wanted to share a story of the new friend they made during Super Bowl week.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. That's right. Coming off of college football biggest weekend. That's right. That's that's that's roster solidification weekend. Something I definitely didn't just make up. Something did happen this past weekend that I do want to tell everyone about. But first, uh, hi.

How you doing, listener? You feeling pretty good about life? Did anything bad happen over the weekend? Ryan, did anything bad? Did the bad guys win this weekend at anything? I feel bad because I clearly tweeted everybody about, like, I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it, but I don't want to talk. I only want to talk about Noah, biblical Noah.

So you can skip over me if you want. Every fucking time. You can skip over me if you want, but otherwise I'm going to talk about biblical Noah. What is your obsession with the the like nautical hoarder of the Bible? So I just, all right. So I don't remember

this part of scripture. This is not the first time we brought this up on the show. And it will not be the last. All right. So I don't remember the, I don't remember the exact scripture, but just go with me here. I just beat a little. So my understanding is

and you guys can correct me if I'm wrong. the Lord comes to Noah and says build a boat right right I'm deferring to Jason here now while either while the boat is being built or post boat completion the Lord has a follow-up request which is two of every animal right yeah more or less there are some of which you need seven right the clean animals right the ones you're going to eat right um and and so so putting aside the fact of like where did god put this in the construction order that feels like something you need to put up front because if you just say build a boat that to me is very different from build a boat that can hold two of every animal seven in some cases also you're going to need to put up an RFP and submit this for public bidding you can't just go single contractor on this i mean the good news about the old testament is that like it was all low bid. Also, there's only like 17

people, so. Right, right. So it worked out. And God had already ruled out most of them. Like, they were not eligible for this contract. Only drunk Noah. But here's my question. So God comes to Noah and says, let's say, for simplicity's sake, let's say two of every animal, right?

Yeah. Does he give Noah? Like, how is Noah supposed to have a full catalog of every animal on earth? Does he have a list? It's not like he can just be like, okay, here's my Audubon guide. Here's my encyclopedia.

Like, does he have a checklist that the Lord gave him? Does he have to go out and say, okay, I think I got two of everything? And, you know, the Lord looks over the boat and says, mm, you're actually 173 species short. That's how it would work in a video game is he would have a catalog where all of the boxes were, like, ghosted out. We're great out. And it would say, like, two of 574.

Yeah. But, like, he would only unlock the ability to know which species he's supposed to capture by, like, observing and studying that creature. By, by finding them, right. And then he would have a paragraph of information about them, which he wouldn't read, because after you've read, like, four of those, you're like, I'm not reading any more of these. And, like, did insects count for this purpose? Was the Lord, like, hey, go get two mosquitoes? I don't see. I don't see why they wouldn't.

I mean, I said to. 10,000 mosquitoes, which is how you know that Noah landed in Minnesota. like i just have a lot of questions about how the whole it seems very simple and that's how we explain it to children god says go get two of every animal and nois says okay but i feel like there's more to that that we haven't really gotten into like how much of it had to do with species did he want say like hey i want also albino vera rare albino versions of these animals you know i have a theory which is that a lot of animals didn't make the cut because Noah, one, liked to drink.

Right. And two, I think he had some real, I think he had some sensory issues because he picked a lot of animals that bite and sting, right? Is Noah human history's first recorded, Dad Come Home? Absolutely. Remember that God gets really mad at people. Yeah, this was our last full cast discussion of Noah of him being drunk and his kids all laughing at. him. Right. Peaked dad. Like super peak dad. But also that his kids probably thought he was an idiot because consider this, that the unicorn didn't make the cut. Leviathan didn't make the cut. You know what made

the cut? The black mamba. Black mamba was like, hey, no, no, no. You know what made the, like, you know what made the cut? Silverfish. Yeah. She too. Black mamba has some like curb appeal. It doesn't, wait That's true It's a sexy Deadly Viper They nickname basketball players after that They know basketball players

Nicknamed Silverfish Thank you Jason There probably is one basketball Player nicknamed Silverfish From some Slovenian team Exactly Some 5 foot 7 dude of smokes Starn games

Jok Kim Noah should have been The Silverfish Noah Yeah Speaking of Noah Yeah man that's dope Speaking of Noah yeah see full circle Ryan have you played Bible

Bible Adventures on the NES and or have we talked about this game on here I think we have talked about it briefly I have not played this game though no so I think it'll answer all your questions it was basically an unlicensed knockoff of Super Mario 2

where you play through several Old Testament stories such as you are Noah going out to collect animals and you gather them by stacking them atop Noah's head Noah doesn't herd the animals. He carries them. Sure.

And he might have like a horse, a cow, another horse, a bull. And he's just hoisting all these. And he's like jumping across platforms while like monkeys are throwing fruit at him. You eventually have to stun the monkeys and collect them as well and pile them all into the arc. And you go through level after level. And again, totally unlicensed. They just made a game and like hacked it on there because God told them to. I don't know.

I like it. It was a good plan. All 500,000 species of beetle. Noah's like, come on down, boys. Love beetles. Look at them. They taught that long. So cute.

Dung beetles, bring them in. Janitors of the land. Come on. That's good. Ticks. Love them. Love them. Look at them.

Adorable little plump suckers. More. Leaches? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jellyfish. Oh, all the jellyfish. like noah if real engineering savant kind of an idiot practically speaking well like like just numbers wise do you know how many uh court let's just say cordates so we're not going invertebrates so we're not

you know we're not going to worry about you know court dates court court dates court dates court dates i got to go i got drunk enough to get naked and have his kids laugh at him he had a couple cord dates all right mammals birds amphibians we'll even take fish out of it because like in theory we if god says put the fish on the boat be like well that i don't think you had to put the fish on the boat okay so if we're just talking let's just say mammals birds reptiles amphibians right i don't think you had to put birds in either he had birds but i don't think he had to store them because birds could fly around over the water okay so mammals reptiles amphibians like he did have birds on the boat but are we are we fine with mammals reptiles amphibians as like the main

categories she yeah i think so okay so now based on the number of described species within those categories right now how many how many species do you think we're talking about like at least a dozen like 20,000 now let's assume that's a big boat Let's assume that some of these species didn't exist. You're talking about, and assume, let's also take away the seven pairs of the clean. Noah had to build a boat to hold 40,000 animals. And also, we know exactly how big the boat was, the boat was because the instructions are in the Bible. That's right.

And you know what? That boat can't hold 40,000 animals. I'll go ahead and say it. Not safely, not cleanly. Did you know animals were much smaller at the time? Oh, shit. Before corn syrup. Before fast food.

Before Mickelope Ultra. That's it. Before President Trump started serving them Big Macs for being... Bison looking slim. For conquering the survival of the fittest. Yeah. I just, you know, if God, the Old Testament God, we're working through, Noah, I do like, that move because it's basically getting somebody else to be a hit man for your worst

creations right right you know like the eight-legged goat walks up and God's like no no right basically you Simon Cowell this you decide who stays and who goes God made a whole planet and was like you old drunk guy gotta catch him all imagine day 27 you're on this boat with your family. Earth is flooded and there are 40,000 animals with you. At some point,

you're probably thinking like, man, really wish we had stayed behind. Really wish we had just drowned. Really, life cannot be worth staying on this boat with 40,000 animals.

Which, which, because there's one of each, a male and female for each species, a lot of animal fucking on this boat, too. Just one of,

put that out. Just want to make that clear. Pretty quickly you have well over 40,000 because they're on that boat for how long? A while? Yeah, it's a little bit. There's two tigers on that boat. Let me just put that out there. No, they're all well contained.

No, no, no, this is the thing. Tigers don't like other tigers. Oh, wait. They're not like lions. Yeah, no, man. They're not buddy, buddy. Biblically, this is where Aga 1 was. A perfectly created animal.

no floss. No, you got to go BC. It's like, it's like, uhga, 4,500 BC. Ugga minus 43. B.C. Before air conditioning. You know Reveley was on that thing. She was commanding that thing. That's true. Yeah, she was commanded that thing. They barked and they all jumped overboard. She spotted Mount ERA rat. Ralphie, calm down. God damn it, Ralphie. And that's where the giants that live in the earth went. Revele told them to jump overboard. They had no choice. Gigum. Yep. That's why Kronis ate is young. Thought they were made a delicious sausage.

This is really actually one of the great unsung miracles of the Bible that Uggah survived a boat ride. That's so hot. It's 70 degrees. So. Can we golf after this? I mean, yeah, I guess so. There won't be people around. You're telling me a Georgia man didn't like a boat ride.

That's right. That's a, yeah, great point. The first Georgians all. that boat looking out going, that's a hell of the water hazard. I don't know, this is a big lake. Three iron. Yeah, that's, it's like we're Auburn. Get it?

Meanwhile, the first Kentucky fans peering out, thank God has. Must be about three, four mile out across there. That is a literal story from my own family of my cousin's first time at the beach. I hope there was an ibis on there, just doing cocaine, talking about how his uncle's boat was bigger than this one. Repeat yourself. Noah's like, hey, what's that stuff?

And he's like, now you got enough problems, buddy. You stick to the sauce, all right? This is for pros. All right. So, yeah, I told you I wanted to talk about Noah, and we did. So there is a 12th century biblical commentator philosopher, Abraham bin Mirr Ibn Ezra. I've botched the pronunciation.

I'm sorry. He theorized that Noah's Ark was a submarine. The hunt for Red October. What a submarine? Hell yes. Oh, Noah wanted to see Montana. I mean, look, irony obvious in the title. That is metal as hell.

Wait, so to be clear, now you're talking about a submarine with 40,000 animals on it. Made of wood. Fuck. Made of wood. That is metal. Oh, my God. The smell. Man.

You don't think people got high before, like, the 19th century. Lies. Do you know how high you have to be to think of that? Go read our buddy Abraham. Yeah, no, no. He's just like taking all the ergot off the bread, right? Here's how you know he's on that good, good. You look at his list of topics on his wiki, biblical commentaries,

grammar, smaller works, religious philosophy. mathematics, astronomy, astrology, poetry. When'd you get to the point where you think you know a little bit about everything, you're on some good stuff. Changed majors a lot there, didn't you, Abraham? No, that's a guy, uh, that's a guy, by the way. It's just smoking all the nutmeg, right? I'm seeing horrible things like what?

Like a submarine underwater filled with 50,000 species of beetle. All of them fucking. Yeah. But, you know, contained in little containers. But anyway, now I'm a mathematician. Yeah, now, now a lesson two, mathematician. Here's how to add blue and eight. This is, this is, this was the advantage of being around in, like, the 12th century, though,

is that most fields of study had not advanced very far. So you could be like, well, I'm the fourth best doctor on Earth now. I've been studying it for a week. I'm the fourth best astronomer of all time. It's sad, though, like how much math I don't. know when I'm like, how far would I have to go back to be a top five mathematician in the world? Pretty much like, I'd have to go back to like 35,000 BC. Velasco paintings.

Yeah. Yeah. Like once we get past one too many buffalo, I'm out. It's done. There's that thing people do on the internet where they say, uh, can you imagine if you went back a thousand years? They'd think you were a god. And it's like, are you taking your car and your phone with something to plug it into?

because, like, you're not that smart. No. Like, you can't teach them how to farm, let alone, like, build a spaceship. Also, they're not going to speak your language, so they're going to think you're a total idiot asshole. This is a question. What year would you have to go back to to be completely crippled, right? Because I think, I think, I think, 2018, I think.

Yeah. Not that far. Yeah, no, it wouldn't be that far, right? Because, I mean, I think, like, I think I know some 22-year-olds who, due to a lack of institutional knowledge of things that plug into things would probably go back to 1960 and be very confused.

Yeah. Right? In 195. Perhaps more confused than an elder statesman like myself. However, if I were to go back to the 30s, how did you do anything in the 30s?

Well, especially because you'd get to the 30s and you'd be like, oh my God, the air is fucking filthy. Like, I can't see your breathe. This is terrible. Everybody's smoking two cigarettes at once and they're drunk. That's, that's, you know, like, it'd be fun to go back to the 1880s. No, wouldn't? If you'd step on a nail, you'd die.

Now you're just describing an LSU tailgate, so. If you step on a nail there, that's considered good luck. That's seasoning. Yeah. In the blood. Mmm. Get them tasting all metallic. Get the iron up.

How do you make tetanus? First you make a roo. Yeah. First you make a roo. roof then you find someone who stepped on a nail then you put it in a pot so that's ryan's intro i apologize that i i know i stepped on spencer wants to talk about his own biblical figure but you should intro jason i guess first his own biblical figure what he does he has an old an old wise man he wants to talk about oh i thought you meant like his form no no there's an old i because

this was super bowl sunday you're like a samson yeah that's right yeah yeah But if you cut my, if you cut my hair. Your beard. My beard. Yes, not my hair. This was Super Bowl Sunday, speaking of holy days. And the entire sports sort of apparatus of the United States, like a good chunk of it was here, which is very interesting because I did go to one party. One.

And at this party, I want to give you the most motley assortment of celebrities first. That showed up. Did you think John Rocker, by the way, was still famous enough to just get into a party? Yes. As John Rocker? As enormous, kind of greasy-haired, super tan. Like the kind of tan that, you know, like, if you, like, lived outside and then went into a tanning bed. Right, right.

That kind of tanned, right? Raw-hide tan, yeah. Like, the kind of, like, do you live on a boat, but it's not a houseboat? for being somebody who made some comments which were pretty racist uh-huh he is now a he is now definitely a person of a color okay a russet a deep a deep sunburnt russet kind of color like a big meaty potato on hg that's what john rocker looks like now also he got into the party before we did he did he did get into the party before we did i'm talking all of this shit about john rocker and he got to the party before we did. Who else do we see? We saw, now this is the building up to this. I saw Adam Levine there prior to his.

You were the one who told me that Maroon 5 was directly behind me when I was complaining at the top of my lungs about the halftime show. Yes. It turns out that I don't know what Maroon 5 looked like. Yeah. They were right behind us while you were talking about how much they sucked. I think that was probably a common experience for them this. week. Yeah, that's happened before. You're not the first. It's okay. No, no. I saw, I did see somebody

that I didn't even mention to you another way out. I thought I was hallucinating, but he was in town and it was definitely him. It was Chris Knoth, aka, uh, law and orders, Chris Noth, aka big, sex in the city. Yeah. Sex in the city. Yeah. Saw him, man. He's looking trim. Looking lean, looking mean, man. Ready to try a case. That's, uh, that's how he was looking. that's not the person I wanted to talk about though because the person that I saw in person who looked fantastic was Emmett Smith can I tell you can I jump in real quick with what happened with me and Emmett Smith because yours is better and I want to build up to it please because he was he was looking resplendent on that evening and I first noticed him when he walked in

front of me I didn't see him when we came into this particular room and I was laughing at something and I did that thing where I was laughing right as I caught his eye and he must have thought that I was smiling real big at him and I was not but we locked eyes and he beamed at me and he might as well have laid a hand on my forehead I felt like I was being blessed by some sort of angel is the man has a beautiful smile he does and it's one of those guys who sits there and vibes out to every song right even if for just 10 seconds right so something comes on. He just dancing to it.

So I'm basically brothers with him now because raise up came on and as I tweeted, we did sing the Who Am I, Pity Pop motherfucker as loud as possible and did a little sort of, you know, Pity Pablo dance to it. I watched this happen. You were in perfect unison. Yeah. And kind of looked at each other at a moment. So we're related now.

Emmett and I. That's all. That's my entire story. I yelled something. man. I yelled something at the same time as Emmett Smith. That makes the whole Super Bowl worth it. It was. And also this, Emmett was having a delightful time. Emmett, if you're wondering what his role was on the Cowboys in the entire White House era,

Emmett was the vibe man. Emmett was the guy you put in the room to just, you know, hey, everybody's feeling good, everybody's moving just a little bit to the music. There's also something to be said with for dispensing with our social obligations for having the entirety of sports media descend on our city with having dispensed with those obligations by like mid-saturday afternoon.

I was in bed by 9.30 Saturday night. I feel like a God. Power moves. Absolutely. Jason, did you do anything for the Super Bowl? It was a gymnastics heavy week here. Yeah. Oh, how'd you do?

Pretty good, pretty good. She's had some injury setbacks. So she's still sort of battling her way back. But this was one of her best meets in a while. It didn't end until 10.30 on Saturday night, though. And we had other gymnastics stuff on nights previously in the week. So I did literally nothing for the Super Bowl. But that's fine.

Gymnastics comes first. She comes for football. Football ain't going to pay her scholarship. I'll tell you that right now. She's really little. Scored as many touchdowns as Jared Gough, didn't she? She did. So, bye.

I was going to say, listen, they said Ed Reed was undersized coming out of high school. Don't write this off yet. Just saying, she puts her heart in this shit. All right, so we've been going for, I don't know, coming up on half an hour. Should we talk about our actual topic for this show? Because this is the thing where this will be ostensibly the title of the show, the episode title. And the entire time, people have been like, I think they missed titles. Yes, correct, yes.

I mean, they got through our Super Bowl preview. They did. Honestly, based on how the Super Bowl went, I feel like we did it justice. I feel like we talked exactly enough about the Super Bowl. We're going to have the cover artist of Poets Magazine on here every year before the Super Bowl. If that is the shit, the Super Bowl is going to give us. Seems fair. Thanks, Anif.

Buy your book. So, that was a fun episode, by the way. I was at gymnastics at the time. That's why I could make it. It was a gymnastics week. We talked about Ohio State and Craig Crenzel more than we talked about Tom Brady. It was great. Yeah, it was great.

I especially like the part where he expressed excitement about a star player for his team not making grades and being unable to play. That is definitely our kind of sports fan. So college football. It's a five-month out of 12-month sport, and so much happens in such a short amount of time, particularly in December that I think there is a lot of stuff that we as fans as media as whatever don't really fully unpack don't take the time to say all right we have all this off season let us actually catch up on all the shit that went down we have I mean in December we have ball games we have a half ass playoff we have like four actual playoffs at other levels Army Navy Heisman we've thrown

fucking signing day into the middle of all this meanwhile every coach is changing jobs head coaches stealing assistance Cliff Kingsbury is getting an NFL job because he's Sean McVeigh's friend how'd that go in the Super Bowl by the way whoopsie so coaching changes is a thing I feel like this is a good time

to come circle back to because that's really important a fourth of FBS changed direction as programs and it's the kind of thing that just it just blows past you as it's happening and I think

fans and media we could do more of just spread it out a little bit spread out the college football calendar a little bit through the actual calendar. So what we're going to do here today is I have prepared a little bit of a game show and Holly, Ryan, and Spencer are going to participate for valuable cash prizes except there's no cash listing off one by one

the new head coach at each program in FBS made a change. can i can i can i offer a proposed tweak well you haven't heard the rules yet but i'm willing to consider well so i suspect all right let me ask a question who went to law school yeah that is yeah i'm an we're having a sidebar do you want to let me ask a question then do you want us to each participate individually because what i was going to propose is that we all work as sort of like a family feud style team mm-hmm i mean it's going to take all three of us to figure out who's an aphrine right now right okay in that case what if we set an over under for y'all to target i i feel great about that how so so that means you have to tell us how many

coaching changes we're talking about so we can base it off that right 24 um all right holly and spencer wait wait 25 25 all right so holly and spencer let's first establish a very important fact, which is that no SEC school changed head coaches. Which means we don't know what any of the other ones are. Right, right. So we are already, we are now, I know we know some and I know we're not totally screwed. But also, if you told me there were no SEC changes, I would have to think about it for a minute before I agreed with you. Well, so they talked about this on Pockets ain't played nobody and they, and on that program, which

doesn't know college football, they were saying like, oh, you know, it got really close because, man, he had to finish guys that's no that's exactly what i was thinking like is derrick mason still there yeah we can make derrick mason is still there but that's not where that's not what we had to avoid gus malzon had to accept a lower buyout to keep his job auburn was the one that almost flipped i forgot about that if we told you right now if i told anyone on this call right now would be like did indiana fire their head coach Shit. Although, to be fair, if you told me that Gus got fired this morning, I'd be like, is it Tuesday yet?

Yeah, no, sure. So if we have to get 25, if there are 25 that we can get, I'm kind of treating this like spades. I think we can get, I think we can get 13. Yeah. Spencer, are you good with that? Out of how many again? Out of 25. 13 out of 25.

I'm going to, I'm going to go. don't be a pill no i think i can i think i can hit 14 we're doing this as a team you ask thank you you want to you want to go low you want to set your fine you're you're literally saying one more fine we fine let's hit 14 let's say 14 and when we only get 13 you have to deal with it oh let's do 15 because i have to be different i respect that you just made a giant fine we'll do four jason are you fine with 14 as are over under usual uh that's fine let's call let's go 13.5 or okay 13.5 there 13.5 so if we get like david no no no we have to we have to have full first that ginger fella okay first and last

names okay cool uh also i've just counted again and it seems i'm missing two schools guess what we'll just have to oh i found one of them it's indeed isn't it? They just fired their coat. I like this because it's like if the jeopardy, if the jeopardy board filled up when they start and they go pooh, boop, boop, but just like 800 was missing and Alex was like yeah, I don't know. I guess we get to that. Shit. My potent potable is Graham Harrell. I'm sorry for that voice and I won't do it again. I think I'm missing a school, but it's apparently not an important one. So charge

forward. 26 it is. 14.5 out of 26 is what we're going for. Okay. Also, you will have three clues. I will not tell you, I will not tell you the format of those clues, but once you request a clue, I will deliver you one, okay? We have three clues for each or total? For the entire game. For the entire game. All right, great. I love it.

All right. First up, and we're going to increase difficulty, all right? Okay. First up, North Carolina. All right, so we all know this, right? What we do? Spencer, go ahead, give him the answer. Mac Brown.

That's one. Next up. I should have brought the air horn back. Yeah, what kind of sound effect do you want? Air horn. Okay. I don't think I can do that every time. All right.

Kansas! We know this is one. Yeah, we know this. Yeah. Go ahead, Holly. Less miles. All right. That sounds sad.

Is that in keeping with the higher? Yeah, it's Kansas football, so. Central Michigan. Oh, I know this one. Do either of you know this one? If not, I got this. Spencer, do you know this one? Central Michigan.

Is it Dan Eno? Spencer, if you didn't get this right away, you don't know it. No, no, go ahead. Jim McElwine. Yeah, somebody funny. I forgot. Wait, I literally didn't know that. Yeah, Jim McAway

That's great See, half the utility of this is For anyone who has missed any of these And there was one that I didn't even I was running our tracker post at Espunation And there was one of these that I didn't even have until today So everyone can catch up on this stuff This is how thoroughly I've curated my Twitter feed, man

I got all of his entire like Shark fucking Weatherman aesthetic out of there next up three for three so far let's keep it rolling ohio state Ryan day Ryan day four for four let's stay in the big ten said no one ever Maryland Mike Loxley

boom five for five guys Mike Liberty Hugh free the human punch line who can we Can we go over the name? We should always say liberty like that with a rising inflection.

Who gave the first scholarship offer to who? What quarterback prospect? Oh, God. Did he freeze give the first offer to it, Liberty? It's somebody, General Booty? General Booty. General Booty. Reporting for duty.

Ah! That wasn't me. All right, now it's time for a mini game. All right, and I'm not going to tell you how it works until we make some progress into it. Okay. I'm just going to let you know that you are now in a mini game. This is very Mario party of you. I like it.

Texas Tech's new head coach is. Okay. No. Is it Matt Wells? All right. Do we as a group concur? Apparently. So.

I am not controlling the air horn this. Okay. Yeah, it's Matt Wells. The point you have gained for correctly naming Texas Tech's new head coach, will you gamble it that you can also name who replaced him at Utah State? Oh, man. Or will you stand pat? Yes.

Yes, yes, actually I will. Yeah, we'll take that gamble. It's Gary Anderson. It is. Bam! If you'd miss that one, I was going to deduct. Why? Why? Why? Yeah, man. Because you know what? It's now festive up in here.

No, I just, why Gary Anderson? Oh, I thought you meant why Earhorn? No, Airhorn. No, Airhorn. Airhorn I get. Why Gary Anderson? Why Garhorn? His key still work. Yeah, that's our gearhorn. Because all old ideas are good ideas. That's true.

Every time, every time they hire a guy who's always like work there, Um, I always think, oh, it's because his keys still work. He's probably so, so they don't have to buy new polos. Yeah, they still got stuff. Fair. Next. Bowling Green. So, so I want to, all right, so I think the last guy Bowling Green hired who they just fired was the dude who, if I remember the story correctly, the AD was basically like, well, we need a high octane offense.

what who's a assistant we can afford from like whoever's got the most yards per game and he went out and hired their old coach from i don't know houston or some shit it was tex tex tech's running tex Texas tech okay you know because texas tech runs the ball right a guy who had never i don't even think he'd been a coordinator before and i don't even know if he was that interested in being a head coach but he was like well shit all right i guess i'll go do that that doesn't help us answer to this question that was so many p apn episodes ago that I can't even remember the particulars. It almost helps you.

But I have nothing to offer here. I think we're going to have to call for a clue. This is a fun one. This person was Tom Brady's quarterback's coach. Scott Leffler. Oh, man. Are you shitting me? He is now a head coach.

That's right. Has never coached a good offense. is now a head coach. That's right. I would have also accepted Josh Black's winged shoulder beating. Yeah. Colorado.

Um, is his name Mel. Mel Tucker. Mel Tucker. Boom. D.C. George. Meltucker.

Meltucker. Meltucker. Meltucker. Meltucker. Next up. Kansas State. They got NDSU's coach Yeah

But his name is not Bradron Stop stop that Stop throats again It's that Craig No that's not Craig Bull That's not Craig Bowl It's the other one

It's a gym Is it Creighton Creighton Creighton fella. Craig, Craig. Craig? No, I've... Shit. Is it IndySU's head coach and we can't remember his name? Yeah, it is. And I've totally forgotten his name and Jason's going to say it's going to make me mad. What is it? No, no, no, no, we need a clue.

No, I don't think the clues, I don't think the, I don't think the clue's going to help us here. I think we got to bail on the... No, because we know who he is. We just don't know the name. We're doing it, we're doing well. I don't think we... Is it the Mr. Magoo guy or is it like the agro looking at? No, Craig Bowles is the one who looks like Mr. Magoo. Is that Wyoming now? Is that Wyoming now?

North Dakota State's coach. Is it Craig? Mike Trout. Stop that, no, stop teasing me with things we like. I don't know. What, Trout? I don't know. Just drop it because I will tell you it's not in my head.

This is going to make me so mad. Yeah. Yeah, we don't know. We don't know. All right. It is Chris Climman. God damn it. I knew there was a great.

No, I guess that here. I wasn't going to get there. That's fine. No, I could, I knew that it was all like C's and Cays, and I couldn't remember the vowels. Yeah, Craig was smart. Craig Crenzel. Craig Crenzell. That's what planted it in my head.

I told you these are going to get harder. So that's our, that's our first miss. How many makes have we got? Uh, counting, counting double down bonus gamble points. You have 11. Oh, we're doing great. All right. All right.

We need it 11? I feel good. I feel good. But like three stacks said from this point on, I only get. it's rough. Texas State. Oh, no, wait. They kind of pulled a Larry Coker here, didn't they?

Texas State. Like, not actually Larry Coker, but they pulled a Larry Coker to UTSA. Wait, but that's a different. No, I'm saying, didn't they bring in a real old dude? Um, I don't, I got nothing. I have nothing. Yeah, no.

punt no just get get it out of the way just punt this one jake spavitall no that was the absolute opposite that was yeah real old all right all right they die young in san marcos they die young in west virginia next up appalachian state oh man i ain't saying shit now no man no it ain't there no I absolutely no um no and I know and the thing oh wait wait did they get did they get Charlotte's coach they got like the next or did they get like old dominions coach I feel like they got somebody who was the coach wait was this the one where was this the the HR switcheroo where the dude got an offer somewhere else like did somebody pull in Danny Diaz at temple on this I think that was, I think that was a coordinator.

I think this might be worth a clue if that's the thing we can do. Yeah, okay. Yeah, because I think we can get this one. Okay. This is, this is a good choice for a clue. This clue is name anagram. Name anagram. I will see what it spits out.

It is giving me, let's see, let's see. Can we do this every year? This is great. It gave me a lot of nice. nonsense. Actually, can we do this again in August and see if we were done? We got worse. Cool. Yay. All right. I found an anagram that's actual words. Okay. Three words. Yeah. Ritz like the cracker. Wield like a sword. Mm-hmm. Kyn, like your family. Ritz, wheeled, kin. There's a Z. Jesus Christ. There's a Z, a W, and a K.

Ritz, wheel, kin. Is it Eli Drinkwitz? Boom. Yeah. Tadow. Good job. Good job. We have entered another bonus realm. Did he take some other job or did I misremember that?

You're thinking of a different school in the vicinity. Am I thinking of Charlotte? Uh, that was... Who did that? Like, there was something, that happened somewhere else besides Temple, Miami, right? This year? It was in the area. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I think it was JMU maybe Or Richmond We're now in a bonus realm Sorry Bonus realm

First Who'd Houston hire To do all the air To do all the air horning around here Houston Holly knows who Houston hired I don't want to talk about it Okay

I'll say it They hired Dana Holgerson Dana Holgerson All right Now paradise would you like to bet that point that you can name who

West Virginia hired two yes yes Neil Brown Braise Bain all right again again again because we do actually listen to PAPN don't tell them that they don't listen to us so they will never know oh is an excellent point

would you like to bet those two and a potential penalty wow you can name Troy's head coach no absolutely not We're holding steady at two. Yeah. Troy hired Chip Lindsay from Auburn, but briefly at Kansas. I was going to say, yeah, okay.

When did he quarterback at Georgia? Lindsay Chip. Run, Lindsay, run. Chip. It'd be with two peas. All right, we are now to East Carolina, which is the school that we have been thinking of as doing the old Andrew and so on and so forth. Oh, thank you.

I still can't remember who did it though Oh yeah No no no this is a big old punt for me Like there's just yeah it's a lacuna Just gone I'm at Ruffin McNeil's godson At my day job in December That's so specific

If he is there with you he can answer He is not he is not there Well he's Ruffin McNeil's godson so he's not keeping up with ECU anymore All right we only have one clue left I don't necessarily want to use it on ease Carolina because of him being honest, I don't like care who he's Carolina's coaches. No, like, if I can remember that this guy tried to quit his job after having it and can't remember who it was, I'm not going to do it. No, no, no. I'd like a clues for when I can

pull a thread and maybe get a whole sweater out of it. But now, this is not it. Yeah. Well, I'll punt on this one. I'm fine punting. Mike Houston of not a goddamn JMU. Yeah. There we're fine. With sec name. Houston Mike. Houston Mike. I love that rapper. Next up. Western Kentucky. Oh, boy. I'll take a clue. I don't know.

Like, how many do we have left? Paul Petrino? Did they hire the dude out of Austin P? The young dude who turned them around? You know what? If you can think of that guy's name, fire away. I got another blank here, buddy. just, well, do you want to use the clue? Do you want to use the clue or not?

Absolutely not. No, no, I don't have a, like, I don't have anything to base a clue on, so no. So that dudes, oh, let me ask a question. Does it, do we lose points if we guess? No, and we're wrong. You only lose points if you, if you guess wrong during a gamble zone. Okay. I think that dude's name, I know that dude's name was Will.

I want to say his name is Will Healy. I don't know if he took the, the Western job, the WKU job, but I'll throw it out there. Western Kentucky's new head coach is named Tyson Hilton. Oh, all right. Formerly Tennessee offensive coach. Sorry, Tyson. I wanted to say Holly might know this name.

Sorry. All right. That's cool. Congratulations, Tyson. This is exactly how much information I've been ingesting voluntarily via Tennessee football. That's the right amount. Woo. Let's move to a more familiar program that we're all, uh,

deeply knowledgeable of UMass Mark Whipple out did not know that they decided not to have a head coach is that right? I mean I mean I'm waiting for one where I have

even a ghost of a trace of a chance of a clue and that's still not good yeah I don't I don't know this Walt Bell yeah who I believe once wore a Ninja Turtle sweater during a bowl game Oh that sounds right

Yeah I think that was him I remember that Yeah they're right he's a real piece of shit Who do I'm sure that's a great hire There goes our UMass feature And all the access You don't remember this guy from Georgia Tech

No I don't Oh man He's a shitbird Wait which guy Ryan Bamford you heard it folks Ryan Bafford Oh fight me Ryan

Called his ass out Wow You mass football donations Plum it That's a lot of chin to put out there Ugh god I know All right Next up is Charlotte

What he fucking did Oh Jesus You know what I will go ahead How many clues do we have left One We only have one You want to use it on Charlotte

Well I was gonna say And how many schools two you have two to go and then an entire other gamble zone well all right so so let's back up here in the gamble zone of this of the schools he has not like we have not talked about louisville right we've not talked about Miami those are schools I know turned over um I think yeah hit all the pack 12 schools right yeah I'm just gonna you know what I'm gonna save this for the bonus so whatever Charlotte No clue

I'm gonna give you Louisville because I just found the one I forgot He just gained a point Okay good I like this game good I know who Louisville hired too but that's fine I'll throw If it if it's the only coach I Rick Steves

I'll yeah Rick Steves Yep Matt Canada Because I don't actually know where he is ended up i'll give you i'll give you a free clue for charlotte okay you've already said his name today fuck wait is it roughen i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna say will healy then that's will healy ryan from deep oh my god you blew the mic out bang bang all right here comes you're not gonna get this one acron no no no no point point former i believe johns hopkins head coach.

Let me check that real quick. John Carroll, excuse me. Tom Arth. I'm sorry, did you say Arf? Arth. Spell that, please. A-R-T-H.

Arth. Okay, that's what I thought it was. Welcome to Arth! Former quarterback of the Scottish Claymore's, Hamburg, Sea Devils, Toronto Argonauts, Grand Rapids, Rampage, and your Georgia Force. Get ready to get Arth fucked.

He was a, he was a, they're hiring captions now. It sounded so much worse when I said it out loud. Hey, if he was a former Georgia Force QB, down with this man. He's got ties to the Atlanta talent area. So we have just a big gamble round left? You have the ultimate gamble challenge. And how many points are we sitting on right now?

Let me see. You have 16 points. Oh, so we've already hit the over. Oh, no, but we can still gamble it all away. Yeah, we don't have to do it. We don't have to do that. Why would we do that? No, but we should.

Ryan, what don't you understand about life? Ryan, have you never been to Vegas with Spencer? If you're up at the table, do you know what that means? You sit there until you're more up. Ryan, I'm just bringing you free booze right now. Listen, the space shuttle doesn't stop when it gets off the ground. It keeps going. Most of the time, yeah.

Come on. Speaking of building machines, first up is Georgia Tech. Jeff Collins. Jeff Collins, yeah. All right. Now, the first part of your daily double, who did Temple hire first to replace Jeff Collins? First, it was Manny Diaz. All right.

Now, are we going to keep this rolling? Are we going to bet these two points that we can continue? So you want us to now try to guess who... Is the next one who Temple actually hired? First would be a different question than that. Okay. Are you going to tell us or we have to decide now? You have to decide.

All right. Fuck it, yeah. Let's gamble them. Nothing matters. Yeah, let's roll. Let's do it. Where is Manny Diaz now? Miami.

Miami. Miami. Boom. Okay. Next. Do you choose to continue? Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Who did Temple hire to replace Manny Diaz? Oh, my God. Clue. We have one clue left, right? You do. That's true. Yeah, how this one works.

Ask Twitter. Oh, fuck, now. Really? Yep. All right, let me do it. Yeah, you do. Okay, all right. People will expect it of you.

How much time is he going to get? Once the tweet goes out, what are we going to say? He's got a thumb it, so it's going to be in the room. Like 90 seconds, do you want to say? Is that fair? Jason, why don't you pick a very short song to play? Look, if you don't pick a song that I'm going to play Martin Pages in the House of Stone and Light. All right.

So Spencer has tweeted this. Spencer has tweeted this in the style of a confused dad who thought he was texting. So that's good. It definitely looks like a... Got our whole music. No, do the Philly News song. Jake Nazar. Guess what, it's you.

Hey, go to hell, Jake. Not the moment, Jake. Is your answer, Spencer Hall? Not the moment. That's not my answer. People are useless. A copy of NCAA 2004? That's another answer we've gotten.

No, I have. I hate all of your friends. This is a good bit, Jason. You made them this way. I'm really mad. Nobody's going to tell him. You should, you should, hang on, I got it, I got it. So heated.

Like the music says, we got to take it. Okay, there's, there's one real answer here. No, I'm, I'm tagging in some smart folks. No, no, no, no, I got it. It's Rod Carey. Rod Carrey. Rod Carrey is correct. Spencer has smart friend.

We've got to figure out who's coaching an IU now. Now for the ultimate Yeah. Jason, you Rizk, four points. No, punt, out. Eject. Even I, the gambling idiot. Eject.

I'll give you a free clue just because I want to see you go for it. Sure. All right. Last name is associated with a video project. Spencer used to do in his yard okay all right this is the new N IU head coach so it's something associated with feelings then I'm gonna guess mm-hmm um joy the joy luck club um be great if N I you hired a guy's last name with sadness or Tristey Darryl Sauer it was a thing Spencer sadd

in. Oh. A hammock? Oh. Hammock takes. Oh, we're halfway there. Hammack. So, so, so you, so their coach is named Hammock? Is that a, please tell me that's his first name. Old Hammock Wilson. There's a, there's a coach named Hammock. You need one more word. Could be before or after. No. Oh. Oh. Just, you get, step away. Hammock McGillicuddy.

Fold. Put the cards on the table to walk away. Tan Hammock It's the first name Are you shitting me? No, I'm walking away from the table I don't know what You've already bet It's too late

It's too late, the money's there Oh son of a bitch You can get the money and then walk away Yeah, I'm getting beat up by security This is exactly like being in Vegas with you I'm a bad dad Oh I've abandoned my child

I'm Jim Jim Jim I'd be the dumbest goddamn name. It's better if it's a bad guess. I feel like I feel like a coach would be named Matt

Hammock. All right. Let's each come up with our own. So you're, are you going with Matt? Yep. Okay. Steve. Steve Hammock. Steve's pretty good. I'm going to go with oral hammock. Okay, so I'm just going to go ahead and go with Steve

Hammock. And if it's one of these, I'm actually going to do that. Oh, if it's if it's, if it's, you already picked one. Yeah, no, No, we're each, we can't just take mine. This is what we're, no, we're all, we're all, we're all, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're putting in three guesses at once. Okay, I'm saying Ted Hammock. Ted Hammock, Matt Hammock, Oral, Matt Hammock. Well, now nobody has Steve.

Ted, Matt, and Oral. Oral, all right, mine is oral hyphen Steve. Oral Steve. No, wait, mine is Jim. Jim Hammocker. It is oral Steve Hammock. I knew it. Wait, what? No, what is this bastard's name?

This is former Baltimore Ravens running backs coach and N IU running back Thomas Hammock. Thomas Hammack. I was close with Ted. Oh, my God. That's not a person. So did we lose? You got 12 points. No!

No! The last round! No! I told you not to up it to 14. Oh, man. This is a lot. this is how Noah felt, where he had all those animals in a boat with

submarine. He broke him with his kids calling him idiots. Yeah. Yeah, it is. No, it was just like, oh, I should have just stopped at 12 animals, but no. I had to get all 40,000. Do you know how many animals he threw over the side, dead? Like, do you know, that's just every day it was just him throwing dead animals. Just like, they all made it.

I made, I got them all. Didn't lose a man. Don't you worry about me. Yep, there's another one. tagging ask BAP in on this is maybe the high God just poking her Hey those turtles don't look good They're just sleeping God

Don't worry about it Don't you worry We're gonna fix these turtles right up We're gonna fix them up I'll see Go Terps Daddy why is that sheep not moving Because he's got eight legs

We don't need it anymore That's mutton buddy