Shutdown Fullcast - The Cold Seat Episode
Episode Date: July 10, 2024Without Spencer we’re apparently powerless to open the show What’s a cold seat? Don’t ask us, this was Ryan’s idea We put Bill O’Brien through a lot, for some reason New fried chicken bet...! Catching up with Ron Prince Which coach could most easily post his way through a 4-8 season? Theorizing Ohio State’s worst season ever This week's theme song arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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I still don't fully understand what's happening with the Popeye's thing.
I don't understand what, yeah, I don't understand why, what Twitter's objection was.
I, having only looked into it to the extent of its Elon versus Popeyes, which is a Morpheus is fighting Neo level of call to action, I'm like, I'm there, say no more.
like the battle lines could not be more clear
I am on the side of righteousness
all I know is
they have some sort of a beef with Elon
and I think it's because they were handing out
free shit on his website
which maybe that counts as an
ad that they're not paying for or something
that would be my only guess
without actually looking into any of it
like I don't know
maybe they said something anti-racist at some point
the thing that I saw was like they
the thing that I saw was they were handing out coupons
for free wings
so Elon deleted their account and I'm like I don't I'm missing why that
preposition is in there yeah I mean he uh I mean without question they're too
spicy for him I know that much my only my only slight suspicion against
Popeye's and I want to emphasize that it's like is that they put out a press release
they're not that organized well they put out a press release ahead of time that was like
this might get us kicked off of social media but we are so brave and so we believe so
hard.
They are.
That's the part I don't understand.
I don't know.
But I don't know.
Yeah.
Well, maybe like, it feels like the one thing for Popeye's to be adept at is like employing
some Louisiana lawyer who just knows more than he needs to for a he or she needs to for
no good reason, right?
And that person's like, hey, if you do this, Twitter will zap us.
And they're like, why?
And this lawyer's like, trust me.
So they do it, knowing it's a great marketing stunt.
There's a whole section in the terms of service about boneless wings.
Elon hates him.
Oh, he hates him.
Because he loves bones, because he doesn't have any.
He loves the sweet bones.
So you heard of here first, Elon doesn't have bones.
He does love him.
That's why he's shape so fucking weird.
He is real trapezoid, isn't he?
He doesn't have anything inside to hang all his flesh out.
Yeah, yeah, he's like in the first section.
Men film when the senator is briefly a mutant but doesn't can't hold his shape it is he's so
fucking bad at elton ring because he's shaped like one of its bosses wait is he a bad gamer
yeah he posted his uh elden ring character like a year or two ago and everyone is like are
are you trying to lose because it was like it was like yeah I run around with this big ass
fucking shield that makes it so I can't dodge and like it was the worst character you could possibly
construct the cyber the cyber truck of RPG characters yes you're the you're the I'm pretty sure
the light went on for a lot of people like made up Iron Man sucks at video games this is the one thing
you should be good at it yeah like it's opposed to real Iron Man it'd be like if he had an
intolerance for pizza rolls maybe that's it like the Nuggies are moving in on pizza rolls
territory.
Man.
Hard to say.
What a time.
Who's doing the welcome this week?
I did it last week.
Has server ever done the welcome?
Server's done the welcome?
Server's done the welcome.
Serber does have...
Serber's like, I know what my contract says
and I'm not doing the welcome.
Server has the most beautiful voice.
Everybody at home knows that he was on mute
and server was just nodding like, yes, I am not doing this.
I've done the welcome
multiple times. Can I ask her a request?
good. Can I ask her a question for this week? Sure. I'm really awesome. Can I
can I get a be on venue? Bienvenu? Like that?
No, in the style of welcome. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. All right.
you can't make me laugh
we're sorry we were fucking doomed
from the vowel sound that you paired with the V
at the video we were gone
it sounded like Dracula warming
B...
for the shutdown fullcast.
When your eyes got real big,
it's like eight second mark.
Thank you.
Thank you,
Serber.
You are listening to the internet's only
college football podcast.
Dance puppet.
He's Michael Serber.
I'm Ryan Nanny.
That's Holly Anderson.
Also Jason Kirk.
Spencer Hall's not here.
Missing out on the fun.
Um, server can we get a quick tour to France update since we started French? Uh, yeah, the tour, uh, just had stage nine today. They've made it through their, or excuse me, stage 10 today. They've made it through their first rest day, which was yesterday. How many stages are they? There are 21 stages. There will be one additional rest day. Um, the big, huge, massive thing that's happened in the tour so far as Mark Cavendishby, Eddie Merck's, um, stage win record. Uh,
with his 35th stage win yes holly what do they do on rest days like do they actually like do
some light cycling or do they just like live prone for the whole day yeah i think they have to
i think like just physically because of just to keep everything kind of loose they do go out and
do they all stay in one house together they do they're all in like a hotel they're in a hotel and
like they're doing an easy training ride which is really just like spinning the wheels around but they're
basically being pampered for 24 hours like a lot of massage like they might eat something a little
more like pleasurable like they might have had a beer after the sunday stage since they had
monday off there are some like there are some teams who will drink a beer like any night of the
week and then there are some who are very strict and they won't have any alcohol whatsoever
until the tour is over with there's a part there's a thing about that in the tour documentary on
Netflix in fact, but like, and that was like a big knock on Andy Schleck back in the day when he
couldn't quite beat Contador on the road. Everyone would always say, well, it's because Schlicht gets
drunk every fucking night. Well, because Schleck doesn't drink enough beer. I mean, yeah,
he needed more, clearly. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, yeah, rest days are pretty chill for these guys
considering how fucked everything else is. The one thing is, if you're the yellow jersey,
like Todi Pagaccha right now, like he probably had some media obligations.
on the rest day that, like, no one else would have had.
Okay.
I, I, uh, how are you, how are you feeling about how the tour is proceeding as a whole?
Good tour, bad tour, yet to be determined tour?
No, very good tour so far.
Um, right now the defend, the two-time defending champ, uh, Jonas Vingerard is a minute 15 back
of Taddy Pogacha, um, but that's a time.
that he could very easily make up.
There was a stage last year where Pogacha kind of got hunger knock or he like
boinked basically on the final climb and lost like six, seven minutes, something like that.
So like that could always happen.
He already has a Gero in his legs, which is the Italian, the Tour of Italy, which is a three-week
stage race.
It's really hard to win the Giro Tour double.
That hasn't happened since Marco Pantani did it in 98.
I think, and that is in the very questionable period of cycling.
Marco Pentanyomo certainly was dope to his gills to be able to get that done.
And then there's questions like Miguel and Doreen when he did it,
like probably really doped up when he did it.
So questions obviously today, because doping is like constantly in the sport,
but like maybe Tade had to do it to accomplish it this year.
But there's a lot of race yet left and there's like four guys that are still very much
contention all within a minute and a half of each other with the big mountain stages still to come
sweet um i assume everybody who's listening to this show not only gets all your college football
news from the show but all your sports news in general maybe all your news i don't know if that's
the best of it yet but definitely all sports news so did i tell you guys that um at one of our summer
stops we met the bob stoops guy the the the no i don't think you did um i might i have holes in my
he either came to in i'm guessing he came to michigan because if he came to indy i feel like i'm not the
only one that would have met him right um but we did actually get to meet the guy who who found
out that bob stoop's was fired from the full cast a full whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa now we're
bob stoop's was what bob stoop's not fired whatever it's very i'm sorry i i was thinking of
mike stoop's sorry okay that's fair i was i was reacting to there being bob stoop's news i was reacting
as if I was finding out right now.
I'm kind of amazed
that's never happened to Spencer.
Is he still out in
the UFL?
I think he is.
Is the UFL still around?
Does he still have that like...
The U.S.L.
Birmingham just won the U.F.
like, I don't know.
Like a month or two ago?
I bet you can tell
based on whether or not
he still has that scruff.
Like if he's gotten a real job...
Oh.
Looking like a three and seven year
for the Arlington whatever's.
Damn.
We're going to come back to the notion of three and seven here in just a little bit.
Folks, speaking of coaches who can probably weather a three and seven season.
Yeah, this is, I'm just going to get this warning out of the way.
We're going to talk about some college football today.
I know.
I know it's July 9 when we're doing this.
I know.
Our listeners.
There are other places you can go for college football discussion, but for whatever reason, I just had a handker.
Godfrey's on vacation.
Godfrey's always on vacation.
Or you call it parental leave.
He calls a vacation, whatever.
But yeah, I proposed to Jason and Holly that we do something called a cold seat list.
Everybody's got a hot seat list.
You probably know who's on it.
If you don't, you can go Google it.
There's one, and I'm sure it will sort of come up on the side here.
But I was interested in discussing who are the coaches heading into.
this year of college football who could go and I set the line at four and eight who could go four
and eight and we think that they would keep their job to me this is in some ways a trickier question
than who's on the hot seat because it's definitely a funnier question well hot seats are very dependent
on the emotions and the moods of the relevant uh booster group fan base school
moves elsewhere in the athletic
than at the university
university budgets, state budgets.
They're very schedule dependent.
Seven and five is not the same for everybody.
Four and eight's not the same for everybody either,
but in almost every case,
four and eight sucks.
It's bad to go four and eight.
Why did I pick four and eight?
I don't know.
It feels like a good sort of like,
if you can't get better than this,
it's hard for people to see a real,
it's hard to find a positive,
been on it. Five and seven, even the most optimistic fan can sort of say, like, well, we were one
win away from bowl eligibility, and here's the one where we totally got cheated. And of these
five games, we won, a couple of them were important. And our schedule was impossible, whatever.
Four and eight, putting lipstick on that particular pig is impossible. Coaches can survive it.
Brian Kelly survived it at Notre Dame. Well, Must Champ survived it at Florida. It's not impossible,
but I think going through the exercise of who can actually make it through 4 and 8
is, to me, trickier and more interesting than just who's on the hot seat
because as we start media day cycle, you're going to hear from all the coaches on the hot seat
about how we don't believe in them, and we're bad people for that.
Sorry, Neil.
Hey.
No, you're right.
Asked and answered.
You're right.
You're not wrong.
I want to start with a couple of exclusions
category exclusions and I look through the list
I'm going to fight you on one of these
no I'm excited to fight about this because I
think you're right I want to preface it
but I think this that one is right
I'm going to start with the bottom exemption
you know that folks we got notes
anybody yeah there are notes in this one
this is how you know Spencer's not on this episode
anybody who has had their job
since 2014, with a couple of exceptions.
I think if you have been in the job for 10 years,
you have probably done enough
that one four and eight year won't sink you,
and you have bought enough,
you probably have enough,
what I would call like personality equity,
like to go back to Will MustChamp,
one of the reasons people said that he hung on at Florida,
despite, you know, kind of disappointing results a lot of the time,
was that he was really popular.
players really liked him, other coaches really liked him, he was well, he was, people thought he was a nice guy and good to work with. And I think it's probably unlikely that you can stay at one job for 10 years and not at least have something close to that. I'm sure there are examples of this not being the case, but I do have, I do have two. There's a big one. I do have two examples. I know we're all thinking. Yeah, I have two exceptions I want to pull out here. And then there's the third that I do have.
I've seen. That's not mine, but I'm excited to see who put it in the dock.
Number one, Dave Closson. If Dave Closson went four and eight, he just went four and eight last year.
That'd be the second year going four and eight in a row. It would make him sub-500 in his tenure at Wake Forest.
I'm not, Wake Forest is not necessarily the itchiest trigger. So it could happen, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were like, no.
Like, whatever, whatever Bloom was on the rows is no longer here anymore.
How do you feel about Dave Klausen not cool seat?
I don't buy this one for one reason.
Okay.
For the very first question that should be asked,
and frequently is not when chasing these new coaching hires.
For what?
Will, to get who instead?
For whom?
Yeah.
Okay.
Like, I guess I can see the argument that if you think Klausen has,
If you think Claussen has elevated the program to a certain platform and he is at his personal ceiling, I can see bringing in a young guy to take over at that higher platform, but also, it's wake.
Like, you're already working from so many disadvantages there.
He has, like, most of their bowl wins since, like, Jim Grope.
And that doesn't mean they won't.
that doesn't mean they
like Grobe one like
I'm not sure they should
okay gosh
man
I really won five
I really thought Jim Grob
was the glory days
that's on me
no Clausen's the golden days
yeah Clausen is
they're in their golden days
like right now
okay he will never get
he will never get fired from that job
okay ever
Jim Grob
never never ever
Jim Grob's definitely on the cold season
since he's not working in college football
welcome to the fridge
Dave Closson
cold seat list.
I accept that I'll take him off the list right now.
The other one, who's been here?
This is the one that I couldn't even, like, you look at it, you're like, I guess that makes sense, but it's surprising.
Holly, just go ahead and drop this one.
I think it'd be funny if we all set it on three and jump up in the air at the same time.
Ready?
Okay.
One, two, three.
James Franklin.
Okay.
Thank you, Ryan, and no one else.
Yeah.
Start in the freeze frame.
James Franklin's done, done plenty of good things.
James Franklin's done, says Ryan Nanny.
Yeah, you know what, that's fine.
He can clip that out.
His accomplishments at Penn State have been fine.
I think everybody's sort of clear on like what hasn't happened that has needed to.
Penn State is frequently trotted out as the perfect team to benefit from the 12-team playoff
to sort of no longer have to deal with like, well, you lost two best teams you played.
The perfect team to be the first team to leave.
lose a home playoff.
Before Notre Dame?
Wow. That's a rival.
Notre Dame spot. Do not steal that from Notre Dame.
That is a rivalry trophy waiting to happen.
Oof. Come on.
But to find the last time Penn State went four and eight or worse, you have to go back.
I mean, you can count 2004, I guess, since they went four and seven.
And the year before that, they went three and nine.
These are Joe Paterno years before everything turned very unpleasant for Joe Paterno in Penn State football.
Even like the down years post-Sandowski and the down years James Franklin has had, he went four and five in the COVID year, lost Indiana.
I feel obligated to remind everybody that, yes, Indiana did beat Penn State.
Bill did a yeoman's job in there.
Yes.
Considering everything.
Like I know his reputation now is what it is.
but, like, stepping into that maw and then doing what he did,
I don't, I'm not sure that he got enough credit for what he did there.
But with Franklin, I think it would be,
there would be like three down years in the last five.
And, I mean, overall, he's a really fucking good coach.
Like, I mean, I'll join in the jokes on him all, you know, around the clock.
But, like, overall, like, he has them at an extremely good place here and and you're out.
The thing for me is, is.
midfield so we're all kind of jealous the thing for me is this is the first year of big 10
realignment where they don't have to play michigan and ohio state every single year this is the
year that that is finally off their plate um so if this is the year it tanks yeah that's a 50 million
dollar-ish buyout but uh it's also that thing it's the thing holly was saying about wake
forest where it's like well for whom penn state is if penn state starts
It applies to everybody. That should be everybody's first question.
But if you're going four and eight at Penn State,
then that question becomes a lot easier.
Like, it's been harder because it's like you're winning 10 games.
Yeah, well, you're saying for whom and reaching into the to the fish bowl for Penn State,
you're going to come up with a lot more pennies.
I don't know what this metaphor is.
It's a much bigger fish.
Yes.
You're going to come up to a lot more live wriggling fish.
Yeah.
This is Georgia firing Mark Rick for like the country's best assistant coach.
This isn't Wake Forest finding some fucking, you know, FCS, whoever.
right right yes butch jones um and then someone has put do we want to make a mark stoop's argument here
which i would be that was me and here is why um i and i say this as the person on the show who has
been the loudest and most hollering about the stoop's tenure at kentucky since its inception
but like we were saying a few minutes ago kentucky's athletic department is seismic
And it's not getting less fractious, I don't think.
They are, despite recent big moves in the basketball program,
I don't think that's going to settle anything down.
It's definitely not going to,
nothing that happens on the basketball side can plaster over the cracks in the relationships
between stoops and the athletic department.
And this is another one where like, I'm not saying,
I'm not saying they should.
I'm saying they might
I agree with you
and I am less confident
I think if you asked me a couple years ago
could Mark Stoops go 4 and 8 be fine
I would say yes
Kentucky has still been
has still been a well-run football team
and it's still like
it's better than it's better off than they were
pre-Marx Stoops
absolutely yeah
but 7 and 6 is not the same thing
as winning nine or 10 games
which is his fault
Yeah, yeah. There is like a little, I know, like, we have collectively said in the past that, like, Mark Stoops has the best job in college football because he, like, he has a very achievable bar to reach.
I still think that's true, but he's just in a weird, he's in a weird, it's a weird moment in time for the Kentucky hive.
Yes.
Right now where if there's going to be a spite-based firing this year, I think you have to look at Lexington first.
The other thing I would add to that pot, if you go four and eight this year, the first year of the,
Texas, Oklahoma, SEC.
I think there is a level of panic
that will kick in that sort of says, like,
oh, no, we are bottoming out
or we are on the decline
at the worst possible time when the league
is harder at the top,
and the idea of us cracking that level
or staying in sort of like the upper
middle class of it is
more tenuous than it might have been previously,
and this is not the time for patience.
Now, looking at Kentucky's schedule,
I'm not sure 4 and 8 is even possible
I said this before I look at the schedule
I'm not sure they could get 4 and 8
okay so I should clarify
when I put this list together
I didn't look at any schedules
and I also didn't look at any buyouts
I know like there are some buyouts
that will come into this but I didn't really think
I just thought like would people be pissed
about 4 and 8 so I
was having a hard time
I can find four losses on this schedule
and after that it gets there's a bit of a chasm
so I would picture
them keeping him like you know it's it's the SEC it's crazy sports state whatever there'd be a lot
of yelling and stuff but it'd be his first truly down year outside of 2020 um this schedule it
fbi has it fourth hardest in the country their their uh their win totals are like six and a half so it'd be
you know a couple more losses than uh what the numbers expect it wouldn't seem disastrous to me
i do think 2024 being a big shake up year all over like when a lot of fan bases are thinking like hey
If we're just slightly better, we make the playoff.
That might mess with a lot of brains,
so it'll be interesting to see how that plays out across the country.
I would bet, not a lot, but some money that he could survive for an eight.
And specifically to Kentucky,
even if it doesn't happen there,
but pursuant to what you were just saying,
this is also a great excuse for a year for a lot of firings
that schools wanted to do and didn't have a great excuse for.
this is also going to be a great cover year
for firings that people just wanted to do
all right
that covers the been there for a decade plus
group anybody else you can think of in that group
like yes Kirk Ferrensen go four and eight
and I'm not confident that they're going to fire him
he's gone fine and seven and not gotten fired
I mean the Supreme Court has ruled he can get away with whatever he wants
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So the other category I want to rule out and say that these are people who are on the cold seat just automatically.
Anybody in year one at their school and anybody in year two at that school at a job.
And I'm not saying that just because like year one and year two you get a pass.
I looked through and I sort of said like, okay, of the people who are starting a new job,
or just finished year one of the job
would 4 and 8 be like
that's it we're fucking fed up
and I really don't think year two has anybody
in that category there are a couple exceptions
I want to talk about who I think like maybe
I mean it would be the same as last year
it'd be the same record
let's get year one and then let's go to year two
okay so so year one I think
are the two biggest jobs that turned over
Michigan and Alabama.
I don't think Michigan would pull the plug on Sean Moore
if they go four and eight and year one.
A, because, like, they've given other coaches more rope than that early on.
They themselves have just demonstrated the, what can happen.
Yes.
Yes.
If you actually believe you have the guy and put your faith in that guy and put
the resources behind that guy.
Also, he went, what, six and O last year?
And a national...
that's right i guess he would still be 10 and 8 over all those already they lost a ton of talent
to the draft everybody like the vibes could not be higher right now for michigan fans like there's
no way they kick him out sort of some immense scandal yes this that that's that's the cover
over all of this but like if they just go four and eight because the football team doesn't play
very well i think he gets another year at least i'm not particularly worried about that no i agree
all right here's holly i'm not sure how we're going to land on this but let's talk about
kaelin before and eight kailen i have a short one okay
alabama's board of trustees
was embarrassed with the way this hiring process went um this this is not a dis i think he's a
great coach kalan was not their first choice wasn't the probably wasn't their second
choice either i don't know that for a fact uh i know he was in the next i know that he was not their
first choice. I think that after, and they are, like, regardless of having made what I think is a
great hire for their program, they are embarrassed because, uh, they are Mr. and Ms. I meant to do that
collectively. And if you fire Nick Saban's replacement after one year, do you know what people are
going to compare you to? Auburn. I'm not really kidding. I agree. No, I, I 100% agree. It's funny,
but I'm not really joking.
Here is the argument that raises for me.
They are Auburn.
They've just gone more football games than Auburn has.
Oh, it tickles.
Because here's the thing.
Everyone is people.
Everyone is the same.
We're all Auburn.
That's the big secret.
Some of us have just root for teams that have won more football games.
If you just look at Alabama between Bear and Nick Sabin,
and if you took all the labels on it, that is the real Auburn.
Their baseline, absent the two great.
as football coaches of all time is the same as everybody else.
Just take the ones named Mike by themselves.
You're running off coaches all the time and you're constantly in NCAA trouble?
How are you not Auburn?
Yeah, some of you young folks might not know, chaos, Bama.
Buckle up.
Oh, my God.
Looking at their schedule, if they win four games,
if they win four games, they're beating WKU, USF, Vandy and Mercer.
That means they're losing to Wisconsin, to South Carolina, to Auburn,
to new guy Oklahoma
I don't know
I don't think it works
it would be quite bad
the messaging
would have to be so strong
like Chris Lowe would have to be putting
extra hours at the SEC
factory they're just going to
they're just going to move him in
imagine how hard those kids hit that portal
that's a really good point
that's not a bad
Oh, my God.
And where did they go, by the way?
They're all staying in conference.
Sure, yeah.
They're going to Ole Miss.
At this point, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
Yes, they are.
Yeah.
On the year two list.
The only two coaches...
Wait, can I throw in one more year one?
Because I just said, I just said nice things about him,
but I think it would be hilarious if Bill O'Brien got fired after year one at Boston College.
I don't know why something about this is very funny to me.
The quiz triggered Boston College.
Yep.
We don't play this shit at Boston
fucking college.
There's just,
and I'm sorry,
I said nice things
about his tenure at Penn State
and I meant them,
but then there's everything
that's happened sense.
You take this shit back to the NFL.
That's fair.
Okay.
Of the year two coaches,
the two that four and eight
would be really tricky for.
Luke Fickles,
seven and six was I think,
I think he pulled the plane
out of the dive enough
at the end of the season
that it's sort of like,
okay, this is fine.
But it wasn't,
it wasn't especially fun for Wisconsin fans,
especially because that hiring when it was made everybody was like,
oh my God,
this is like such a coup and such a,
such a big change for the badgers.
Yeah,
yeah. For me here would make me think that we're in for a Justin Fuenteying.
Yeah, yeah.
For me,
way, we swore we were never going to,
we swore we were never going to grade hires again,
and then Luke Fickle got hired at Wisconsin.
Yeah, that does happen.
No, I'm, I'm off that shit.
I said Mac Brown's bad hire, and he's a bad hire.
I'll grade every, I'll grade every hire I want.
On a long enough argue, you will be proven right.
That's your goddamn right.
Matt Brown, you just wait.
Just wait.
He'll be bad.
Hugh Free, six and seven last year.
I just want to note on Fickle that I think the shine of the higher could carry him through.
I would also argue, again, realignment.
Big Ten West is not a thing anymore.
There's no more free wins.
You have to actually do shit if you're a West team.
So like it being hard for West teams for the next few years, I would argue for patience.
No one listens to what I think, so they'll fire him.
I also don't know.
I'm also curious to know if, and I don't know this at all, Wisconsin fans,
just shout out, stand off in the comments,
if Wisconsin has made any adjustments to their academic standards for athlete admission
that bedeviled several of their past matches.
I don't know that either.
That's a good question, especially.
On the top of my head, I don't, I don't know if, I do not know if changing any of that
was a contingency of Fickles higher.
But then why did Brett Bilema end up at Academic Powerhouse, Illinois?
We'll never know.
The Harvard of Illinois.
Waterfarmes this level, baby.
I love that, Holly, you have just invited Big Ten fans to talk to you about their academics.
I like, oh man, I'm going to, here I am, and I'm going to make myself regret this.
I've never met a Wisconsin fan.
I didn't like.
I'm looking forward to being proven out of that very quickly.
Yeah.
I think that's true.
I know y'all will take care of that quickly.
Wisconsin I also love because it's one of those places where I've been to a game in August and I've been to a game in November.
and 12 degree lake effects snow.
And it was a blast both times.
When we visited in February,
they were replacing the grass with,
they're putting sand underneath all of it for new turf.
That'll be like,
so it'll be like playable in December.
But like walking into Wisconsin Stadium
and seeing sand was like, wow,
this is surreal.
The other tricky thing about Wisconsin,
Wisconsin has not gone below 500
since 2001.
Which means there are,
There are a lot of, like, young Wisconsin fans who have never experienced anything close to four and eight.
Like, yeah, they have seen dips and they have seen, like, ups and downs in the program.
Didn't they have another one of those records, too, in the area of, like, most nine-win seasons?
That's probably, I mean, they've made a bowl game every year since 2001.
And even that, that's a lot I'm thinking of, yeah.
And even that was a blip where they had made one 96 through 2000 before that.
This is not, like, some schools...
Y2K hit that creamery hard.
Some schools are accustomed to sort of like the roller coaster that is college football,
and you sort of like, yeah, sometimes that happens.
Wisconsin is not one of them.
Wisconsin schedule, though.
I'm not trying to hex them, but it reminded me of thinking of
the first year Tennessee missed a bowl for the first time
and a similar time and thinking, wow, this is bad.
And then everything else happened.
And then everything unspooled from there.
Yeah.
Hugh Freeze went six and seven in his first year at Auburn.
It is very funny to think still for me now,
and I'm sorry to Auburn fans who listen to the show.
It's so, like, Hugh Freeze could have sent Nick Sabin out of the Iron Bowl with a loss
and instead got the most bullshit play, the most bullshit touchdown run on them.
It was almost like it was ordained.
Oh, boy.
Um, if the one thing I'll say for Auburn that they have successfully prepared themselves,
if for some reason they go four and eight this year,
it's their hosting cow.
Hugh Freeze and Auburn have done a very good job of messaging both to the fans and the media,
that they don't like their quarterback situation at all,
that they think they have corpses at quarterback and they're just trying to get through this year
and find a better option in 2025.
Their schedule is a cakewalk, though, for the SEC.
The schedule is awesome.
Like, it's loaded with really,
Like, really, really hard games.
It's coo-key.
And also games, you better fucking win.
Like, four and eight, that means you're losing to one of Alabama, A&M, Cal, New Mexico, Vandy, or ULM.
You're losing to one of those teams.
Bye.
And, like, when they lost New Mexico State last year, which we talked about it, Anasian.
What?
Which we talked about ad nauseum.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You're thinking of the Hugh Freaks team at Liberty that lost to New Mexico.
No, there was a sequel.
just because it's a very popular sequel.
And you'll never guess where the
quarterback of that New Mexico State team
has ended up now.
I really won't.
He's Diego Pobmius at Vanderbilt University
who are on his plane this year.
Stop fucking Hugh Freeze.
But, but like what still sticks out about that game
was that New Mexico State did not
like accidentally luck into that.
It wasn't like, oh shit, the dealer busted
by taking eight cards or stuff.
No, they just
They ran all over them.
Yeah.
So, like, that list you gave, Jason,
I'm not, I'm not convinced, like,
there's no way Auburn can lose any of those teams.
Hugh Freeze can do all things that are bad.
That said, I think hiring Hugh Freeze was so fractious and unpleasant
that the people who pushed that through will be like,
no, we're going to take our, we're going to keep taking this medicine.
We'll never apologize.
And if Auburn went four and eight this year,
there would be some segment of,
I'm not going to say Auburn media,
but Auburn adjacent type media,
that would definitely be like,
this is cancel culture.
They're just,
they're,
this is it falling on a good,
a good man.
I'm so glad you're thinking about this,
because I was just thinking about how MAGA could fit
a whole number of A's in there.
Yes, yes.
The one other,
person who's not on the long term list
and I don't think should be
I think Davo can go four and eight
and I don't think he gets fired
I don't
I think people will be very pissed
maybe I wouldn't rule that out
Is he sick of all these kids getting paid?
But I think Clemson
I think Clemson looked
good enough at the end of last year
that if they go
if he goes four and eight it's not
automatically you're out you're done
I would put Dav for
for good or ill i would put dabbo in with more in that i don't think he gets fired short of a massive
scandal server yeah he's he's like locked in for life yeah like that like and and the other thing
is like just remembering how it went with with tommy bowden being not just not good enough
and just like letting it go for 10 years yeah the modern inventor of the sad field goal yeah yeah like i
just, I don't think Clemson, I don't think Clemson has the stones to fire Dabber.
You're right. There has not been, there has been generational turnover at the upper levels of
Clemson, but not so much that they don't remember, like, how many different flavors of joke
they were, not that long ago. I also love that there's nobody there who could force him to actually
use the transfer portal. So like, there's no real. If it falls apart, there's no hope. It's
getting better. Imagine them, like, sitting him in front of it, like a kid trying to be fed with
an airplane spoon.
Dabbo, take a cornerback, take a receiver.
No, no.
He's all that he's up, like, the facilities will forever have his image everywhere, too.
Like the 81 team was very much an anomaly of winning the national championship and
then like, and then got busted with huge probation stuff shortly thereafter.
So it's not really an image that they can put out there to recruits and to, and to, as like,
and their facilities, whereas the, like, Deshawn is the issue with the current generation.
They, they will not, hopefully will not put his image up around for everyone, but especially
when Trevor Lawrence is literally right fucking there. Todge Boyd is right fucking there.
But, um, but like, mostly the Dabo era, there's nothing that they could, that they have to
shy away from, uh, you know, so like, they also can't really, yeah, they can't, like, they can't
afford to fire him or else like
what are they going to do to their facilities
they're going to like take down every
successful moment they've had
in the last you know
20 years
we can't fire we got to redecorate we got
these these brocade curtains with his face
screened in and and I don't
I don't say this to be
denigrating I don't think Clemson
is a kind of school that is
like oh the program
is bigger than the coach
like automatically it's a B
job. It's a B-borderline B-plus job. It's not an A-minus a plus job. It's not like, it's not, like, it's not hard. Dabbo has been successful because he is an
was, and I'm not sure he gets traded out enough of a curve there, but he's like the only guy who succeeded in like straight up aping the Alabama model. Right. Yeah, like he goes into Georgia.
Georgia fans don't yell at me yeah but yeah like he goes into Georgia and he get does he
get all the dudes absolutely not 100% no but he gets Trevor Lawrence he gets to Sean
Watson like he does he get every dude from Florida no but he gets a lot of the dude he gets
a lot of dudes from Florida South Carolina is an underrated state when it comes to talent so is
North Carolina North Carolina has been the real struggle because Mac Brown is also really fucking
good at this and you know it's not like this was difficult but he you know he's also
fenced off South Carolina's talent pool from his major in-state rival, which is the flagship school.
Yeah, like the big, when they couldn't get over the hump, it was because Mr. Football in South Carolina
was going to South Carolina every year. That's not happening, really. I think Mr. Football might
have gone to South Carolina once or twice in the last few seats, like the last five or six years,
but mostly like, yeah, they're winning those head-to-head battles for the most part, for the,
for the, you know, mid-to-high four-star guys out of that state.
Serbs, real quick, because it's hilarious.
Can you explain to people who have not been to Clemson what you mean by the facility?
They have to redo all the facilities.
Yeah, they just built, like, this giant fucking indoor slide football facility, like, with,
and it's like when you walk in, all the image, or I haven't walked in there, but I've seen
footage on stuff.
Like, it's all the national championship years.
It's all the ACC championship titles from now.
Like, there's some Frank Howard stuff up there.
Sure.
There's some Danny Ford stuff in there.
Like the program has been built, I don't want to say it this way, but it's been built in Dabba's image, right?
That's not, but I don't think that's an incorrect way to put it, though.
It's correct, but Dava wouldn't like that wording.
Yeah, he would say he wouldn't like that word.
That's fair.
Exactly.
That's why I don't like saying it that way because I know secretly he would be very into it.
He's a little bit chuffed.
They can't.
He is so, he is so, so safe.
Everybody knows how humble I am.
Look at that.
I didn't mean humility.
I'm going to be yelled out of church if I don't say something about this.
Right, right, right, right.
Clemson's historically like a top third-year recruiter,
and over the last four years, their fifth.
That is, maybe you don't need the portal.
Who am I to say?
All right, before we hop into our assembled cold seat list.
One more two-year guy.
Oh, please.
Two more two-year guys.
Okay.
Look, we can split you up over two weeks.
It is impossible.
It is impossible to talk about it.
a coaching hot seat list
without bringing up
Scott Satterfield.
Okay.
If he goes four and eight,
he would be following up
like the Luke Fickle era,
one of Cincinnati's highest heights,
by being Tommy Tuberville.
A senator.
Yes,
our dumbest senator,
which is a tough battle.
But like,
the thing about Scott Satterfield
is he's like quantum light,
the act of putting him
on a hot or cold seat list,
automatically he is being observed
and therefore he is going to win enough games
to get him to a new job.
This is the Saturdays.
This is the Saturdays what you view him through.
Say his name and he will appear in Auburn rumors.
I believe in Scott Satterfield.
Bobby Petrito's like,
did somebody say Candy Man?
This is interesting because it does play into something
that happens today.
Big 12 media days are going on right now.
And already the commission of the Big 12
is starting the positioning
job of what the conference is and
according to break your remark
the big 12 is the deepest conference
in college football. Yeah it's like
a slip like a diving pool said 12
what's the deepest pool you ever seen is
12 ain't it?
And we got more. We got more than 12
this pool is a lie
I don't remember
yeah they're up to 16
sure sure yeah I believe you
is that right 16 or 14
guys we're definitely going to get this right
at some point
Oh, I'm saying that it doesn't matter.
It's got to be 12.
Don't want, you're right.
It's on the list.
No, it's 16 now.
It's 16 now.
So, like, I'm picturing you draw like a two and then you kind of go over it with a pin and you put a little, a little loop right there to make the six.
Make it a little six with a tail.
Perfect plan.
Um, I think, I think that the line will have to be like, well, look at the conference we play in.
We've got all these like really, really competitive teams.
I don't know that work.
I don't know that would actually, like, looking at their schedule,
like, when you no longer have Texas in Oklahoma,
there is some truth to the depth and the overall competitiveness of the Big 12,
but, like, people aren't excited about losing to Houston,
even if Houston, like, made a really good coaching higher and could be really good.
Like, it's different flavor of things.
Yeah, I think it'd be fair to put Scott Satterfield,
especially just, like, with how he left,
Louisville and how, like, unexcited.
Well, you can, it's, it's fair to do the flip side of the everybody likes him argument.
Yes.
Just that nobody likes him.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Yeah, I guess if you, if you made me, if you made me say, it's a bad hang.
If you made me say who's getting fired at 4 and 8 this year, Luke Fickle or Scott Satterfield, I would definitely say Scott Satterfield.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Also Scott Satterfield.
Yeah.
Holly mentioned Dion.
I had Deion as like, he's on the cold seat, and that's hilarious.
It goes four and eight.
And he's, what, eight and 16 overall?
And he's losing his built-in NFL prospect quarterback.
He's losing Travis Hunter.
And he's losing Travis Hunter.
Then, like, where's the hope in the, like, conference where every team is at least a C-plus going forward?
You know, like, where you got to rebuild the roster every single year?
proved nothing and your buyouts $15 million out of school that doesn't throw around that kind of money
and like on the flip side you are the only reason anyone ever thinks about the Colorado Buffalo so like
have fun yeah also playing North Dakota State in week one you fucking idiots that yeah that's less
it I mean here's thank you's the thing thank you for us but I have decided that that's one they're
going to win in part because North Dakota State is not this exact same thing they were
five years ago.
That's fine.
That's fine.
But because, like, now we've sort of talked ourselves into Colorado's going to lose that
game, and then they'll come out and, like, Travis Hunter will have, like, four touchdowns.
And they'll be like, holy shit.
Colorado's great.
Oh, my God.
And I'm sorry to do this again, but Ryan, and I know you said you didn't do this, take a candor
through Colorado schedule.
Sure.
I mean.
It's, it's nasty.
Okay.
It's, it's not friendly.
It is, it is a really tricky, like, all.
I think this is...
Yeah, and a nice breather with Nebraska there in the second game.
All of most Big 12 schedules, I think, are going to look this way.
Because I look at it and I'm sort of like, okay, Baylor can be so many things over the course of the last four years.
This is what I love about this Big 12.
They've collected all these teams.
They're like, ooh, weird shit's going to happen there.
Gus Malzahn's UCF teams have, like, veered wildly from like, holy shit,
they're like altering the trajectory of the conference to can't get out of their own way.
I have no idea what Arizona is going to look like going forward.
Like Utah has been really good, but also like,
it feels like a lot of weird, maybe not coin flips, but I don't know,
I don't know what to make of most Big 12 schedules at this point.
It feels like 13 straight weeks of playing Texas Tech at night.
Yeah.
And like, I think, I think the Big 12 is accurately describing
like the competitive nature
of the conference. I think
it would be a stretch to say like, and therefore
they're going to put two teams in the college football
playoff or something like that. And you know, in that
teams could play, and that teams could turn
in unexpected performances and equally
likely that the reflips the coin and it
turns into a handful of scorpion.
Before we, there's just
there's like, there's just so many spooky
vibes teams in here now. Yes. Yes. That's right.
That's right. Before we
jump into our cold seat
list, should we stop and do
a little podcast business
right as Jason dropped off the call.
Here he comes back.
Serber, sing a song.
In French.
Podcast business.
All right.
Podle business.
Good idea. Let's do that.
There's le business.
For the podcast, yeah.
Water the soil with the
blood of your enemies.
Monvelociped.
Okay.
Legrippetto on the tarmac.
Ballon.
Holly, I believe you have the honors since Spencer is in fucking Mongolia right now.
Folks, this weekend we marked the three-year anniversary of our inexplicably existing newsletter, known as Channel 6.
You can subscribe to it for $10 a month, for $100 a year, or for free and just get random newsletters whenever we feel like sending them.
and we're just we put up a post that you don't even have to sign up for your email to read
yesterday you can go and read it at channel dash 6.ghost.io just about some of our favorite
stuff we've done over the past three years how grateful we are to have y'all as bosses and not
our previous bosses and Spencer is currently in Mongolia learning to hunt with giant
Eagles, which is y'all's fault because your subscription dollars paid for him to do that.
If you want us to keep doing stuff like this, come on and sign up for a subscription.
We'd love to have you.
It's a very good time.
I'm not making a convincing argument there because I'm genuinely happy, and that means I don't
know what to say.
No, and if you don't believe us, just go look at, like, Twitter or Blue Sky and people talking
about how happy they are to spend money on Channel 6, how they don't regret it, in a time
full of regrets. Why not give your money to something you won't? Channel 6. It's we keep every year when
we hit this point and I'm waiting for it and you know the yearly subscriptions roll over and I'm
sitting there looking at the I look at the ticker this one day a year and I'm sitting there
waiting for it to just fall off a cliff and it doesn't like it just it just keeps it keeps
ticking. We've experienced 36 months of very slow incremental growth and like
like we like to tell people in real life,
it's not fuck you money,
but it's fuck you Voss money.
Boy, do I love
not working for somebody
who asked me where I went to prep school.
Passing the baton.
French words.
All right, let's do,
let's do live shows next.
I will preface this.
You can find out the ticket links and all of that
if you go to pre-owned airboats.com.
Let's start.
We have the July live show
coming up in Portland, tickets are no longer available.
I think it's funny that every time we, like, I guess go for FOMO by like, hey, folks.
Well, no, here's the only reason.
Too fucking bad.
The only reason I wanted to bring it up is because we did decide since we released last
episode, the topic of the show of the shows, which is workplace disasters.
Because space is a workplace.
Space is the ultimate workplace.
If you want to submit a workplace disaster, email it.
to shutdownfulcast at gmail.com.
I'm going to say you have until the end of this week.
This is coming out on July 10th.
You have until Friday to send it in.
And then we're going to cut it off.
Again, email it if it's on Twitter or somewhere else.
Do not confess crimes.
We might laugh at it, but we're not going to see it.
I don't know.
You can maybe confess a crime.
I don't know what statute of limitations is depending on the topic.
Maybe put less drunk driving in here than you did in the indie show.
I think that's a good idea.
I think that is.
drunk working is legal yes 100% um ben franklin said so i'm pretty sure um our greatest president
uh that's true usual advice uh the best stories tend to be the shortest stories although if you
have a really good long story you can send it in but like you better believe in it if you think
i would say like be harsh with the word count but don't go crazy with yeah yeah like if you give us
five words they better open up a universe of possibilities yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
It better make Ernest Hemingway think, God damn it, I suck.
We will say that the stories that have been long and funny,
if it's not of a dad-a, dad-B caliber, you need to cut it down.
That's right.
I think that's a good guiding light.
After that, in August, we will be at the sports podcast festival in Raleigh with the OGs,
with hand in the dirt.
Tickets are still available for that.
server i'm going to get with you later because i'm planning some secret merch that will make
stephen hartsell not feel good about hand of the dirt um and then in october
we're going to birmingham is that right jason you know the most that's right we sure should
are october 3rd in association with furnace fest we're doing music disasters hold on sending in those
disasters we got to get through workplace disasters first um let that beat build but uh
we start sending in the disasters
I don't know
let's get through
we'll let you know when
I just said
I just said
I don't know we'll find out
you said hold on
but I keep on
you're doing great buddy
you're doing really great
I'm really really proud of you
for holding
what if I miss it
oh I'm sorry you missed it
you just missed it
oh shit it was just now
you shouldn't have been paying attention
I mean you're you're like
I think most of the disasters
are like marching marching band disasters
y'all are great at standing in one place
for like six hours before it's your time to shine
me it's important that your show is about me this is this you're gonna you're gonna fucking nail
this they're all about you they're all about you we're all gonna laugh at you this is uh this show is gonna
be fucking awesome yeah tickets for that and for the raleigh show pre-owned aerovotes dot com we're
excited to see everybody in portland at the planetarium michael server yes i do have an update
oh good ralee show because we have mentioned several times that on the website it says like one
or two people one or two o'clock yeah i think um
The first podcast will start at 6 o'clock.
I've learned this.
So this will be an evening affair, can confirm.
We thought that, but we didn't know for sure.
But the OGs will kick things off at 6 o'clock in Raleigh on August 24th.
And if you want to come see Killer Ants, we're playing the night before in Winston-Salem on Friday night at Hoots and West End Winston-Salem.
It's about a two-hour drive from Raleigh.
So obviously, if you're on your way via 40 East, it would be on your.
way. Please do not
make a two-hour trip.
Do! Yes! Do it! Do it! To Raleigh! Challenge accepted.
To our show at Winston-Salem.
Don't show your love for server, whatever
you do. I'm going to steer an airport shuttle
and whoever wants to drive down from Raleigh
and straight back is welcome to.
We're going to get a fucking bus.
I think there is a bus. I think part will take
you. Get on the bus. Come to our show.
I think it's going to be the first show ever at Hoots.
We're playing with a band with a couple
of members of Code 7 in it. So if you like
hardcore music.
Code 7.
If you know who that is,
you better be at Furnace Fest with us.
You better be a fucking furnace fest.
You already are.
It's going to be a cool show.
And we're also, we just did a show this past
weekend, which we recorded, and we're
going to be releasing a live EP
before the summer.
Live at the Flat Iron.
So if we steal a bus, will you play the bus on the way
to the show? Yes, I'll play the bus on the way
to the show. Holly, EP.
We play the wheels on the bus.
Yes.
As they go round and round.
an EP is an extended play.
It's like the,
it typically would be printed on like a seven inch record,
um,
or a 10 inch instead of the full vinyl.
And it would have like four to six songs on it instead of being a full LP long
player.
Thanks, buddy.
You're welcome.
Um,
all right.
Podcast business rules on.
But maybe by the time you listen to this,
maybe a little later on Wednesday,
the second, uh,
article in assigned the new substack I am doing with the help of, uh,
our buddy Martin Rickman.
Um,
will come out. It's about Madison Square Garden and the War of 1812 and how if the latter had gone
differently, the former might be named something, uh, something differently entirely. So that's,
that's all I'll give you for me. Wait, I didn't know it was that Madison. Oh, it's not Madison.
Like, without getting to spoiler, yes, it's Billy Madison Square Garden. Uh, without getting to
spoilery. Mr. President, I'm still horny. Madison Square Garden is,
I can't even fit the answer.
Never one.
In 2024,
it still goes.
Oh.
All right.
Go to assigned.
com.
The articles are free to read.
If you want to vote on which ones I do,
which columns I write,
you pay for that.
Or if you just want to pay to support the writing,
so me and Martin can keep doing what we're doing.
That would be appreciated.
uh jason i assume i assume i assume audiobook is is wrapped and done and ready to go and fucking
up on napster and limewire right now oh that's a great fucking idea we got to put this
shit we got to find napster server and i are finishing it up yes master dot biz yeah server
and i are finishing it up uh we're uh we got some guitar tracks to lay i'm playing the guitar
of course.
Livewire.net is available.
Floyd, get on it.
My daughter is doing the cover art
for the audiobook version.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hell yes.
Dog, let me tell you,
like when I say that,
you're probably picturing
some cutesy crayon shit.
No.
No, we're not.
Act like you fucking know.
This is the shit
I, like, originally dreamed,
and I, and like,
I was like, ah, let's go less weird.
Nah, for the audiobook,
we're going weird.
You're picturing a shark on a stand-up paddleboard
with the head of a dog.
Weirder.
Angel wings.
Okay, good, good.
Weirder than that.
And as far as when it'll be out,
the goal is before college football season.
That's the goal.
So in theory,
people might be able to go to Raleigh,
drive to Winston-Salem to see Killer Ans,
listen to the audiobook on the way there and back,
and then go to the Raleigh podcast festival.
Yeah, that's a four-hour trip.
That's four hours you can get through,
a lot of it.
A lot about parisocial relationships.
but if you do that, I think we're actually related.
Yeah, that seems fair.
You're my friend now if you do that for sure.
I'm going to stay at my house.
That is a lot of Serber's work.
That's right.
That's right.
You are Surer's cousin at that point.
All right, that concludes podcast business.
Without further ado, the shutdown podcast, 24, 25, cold seat list.
This is in some order, but it is subject to-
one of those fucking big game boomer graphics absolutely absolutely uh this is
you agree this is how do you feel question i love i love how do you feel about the mildest
tics possible um these guys are probably fine uh so so this is this is somewhat of an order i am
willing to discuss it but i'm also not that one to the order except for the first one
the FBS coach who I think could most survive a four and eight year is UMass's Don Brown
because four and eight would be an improvement over last year and they haven't won four games since 2018
you mentioned I think absolutely if UMass goes four and eight Don Brown doesn't get fired I'll go
ahead and stake my terrible reputation on it right here right now can I throw a couple other guys in with this tier
yes absolutely um jor morehead at akron four and eight would double each of its first two seasons there that's correct
so like the same logic basically um rich rod uh no no he doesn't fit this tier he doesn't fit this tier he's won way too
many games but i'm gonna add him to the cold list though can i put one in that i stuck at the bottom yeah
timmy chang sure yeah yeah i think he goes in this tier yeah that would be fine i think that would
that that makes sense absolutely i'm gonna advocate enough man come on yeah
In this year, I would consider Clark Lee.
I don't know if that's true.
So, Vandy, their firing line, is, like, worse than four and eight for multiple seasons in a row.
Yeah, I guess what I would say is if Clark Lee went four and eight, I wouldn't confidently say, oh, he's coming back.
He might.
He might survive.
Did you think he gets fired before the stadium's done?
Oh, boy, that's a, that's an unbearable reason.
I know that's an open-ended question.
This will now be the fun one to track.
I now have an investment in Sandy's record.
This is our Liz Truss Lettuce.
Uh-huh.
Like this is, this is, Ryan, we're betting fried chicken on this, okay?
Okay, all right.
If Fandy goes four and eight.
Which, okay, if Fandy goes four days.
Because I think he stays.
I think he stays.
This is a little bald head with like a wrecking ball chain coming out of it, just
I, I, I think Jason's, I think Jason's logic is sound.
I just could see four and eight being a like, listen, we just fired our
basketball, we just fired our men's basketball coach.
we just watched Tennessee win a baseball title like we've we've put a lot of money into
facilities and into athletics and like we can't go four and eight but it you're it's not a
disaster so you're you raise a good point you also got your stupid chins caved in in baseball by
Tennessee a lot during the regular season before they won the world series also vaguen
Vegas has them at three and nine okay so I guess all right all right maybe I'm maybe I'm
being too harsh on the hometown, clerkly.
Maybe, uh, maybe this is climate zones.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, sure, sure.
Um, Kirby Smart number two.
Kirby smart can go four and eight and not get fired.
Like, it'll, you'll get prayed for, but yeah.
And you just like, you ever just want to, in your Kirby and you just like feel the urge to take a year off?
Like, not all, not off, but like, everybody goes home on Thursday night for a year.
I think we've made our point.
Like, come on fellas, let's coast.
We decided to go, we only called one running play all year.
Fuck you.
You thought we were nothing but Stetson Bennett.
Number three,
Kennesaw State head coach Brian Bowhannon
has had a very good run with the owls.
It's their first year in FBS.
Like that's the primary logic there.
You can go four and eight,
your first year moving to FBS.
I'm not saying Kennesaw State will.
Lots of teams have made the jump from FCS to FBS
and done great in their first year.
Rich Rod did it with Jacksonville State.
JMU obviously like it's it's not a guarantee but I think like if you if you have a
down year your one is probably fine Vegas has us at two and ten yes we'll we'll take
yeah yeah yeah uh number four Jason Candle at Toledo who has just like go if you
haven't go look at Jason Candle's record at Toledo it's it's quite good relentless it's
quite good he is 65 and 35 over it's really eight years um because there's a there's a
one year where he just was the interim coach for the bowl game um this is time for me once again
to renew also my my assertion that if you have a time in your schedule in a year and take a mac
trip this is the one this is the one to do um pick a game pick a game on the schedule go to
hang on give me okay okay you don't you don't have toledo schedule up around the clock what's your home
age. I'm confused.
This is
a monologue that I have done previously
before on the show, but
Toledo Stadium, the Glass Bowl, is
a lot of fun. The fans are, and I
say this with a con, I say this as
with brackets affectionate.
The fans are mean as shit.
They are so much fun to watch
a game with. You will make a lot of friends
in the stadium as long as you are rooting
for Toledo. Toledo
doesn't play on Saturday after
November 2nd. Their last three
games are Tuesday, Wednesday, Tuesday.
It's called keeping the Sabbath, right?
Yeah, that's right. Go up early when it's
blazing fucking hot down wherever we
live and like, you know, watch them play
Duquesne or something. This schedule's awesome.
This is like almost
Liberty Grade easy. Good for them.
Shit, man, they're at Western Kentucky.
Oh, no, they're at Western Kentucky.
Boo.
There, I'm going to take it.
Miami, Ohio, at Toledo.
Great pick. Great pick.
I can't go because we'll be
at Furnace Fest, but y'all should go.
Candle is also like 45. So like, it's not even like, oh, he's lost his fastball or whatever.
Like, no. Jason. He could be there 30 more years. Yeah. Yeah. Um, number five, Kansas is Lance
Leopold. Like, yeah. It, it, a, it wasn't that long ago. What's he doing at five? I guess is my,
yeah, it was long ago, four and eight was awesome there. Yeah, it's probably, it's probably, that, that might, like,
we can quibble about like, if he should be higher on this list, but he belongs very high on this list.
4 and 8 would be a down year since there's like dark horse heisman talk and there is sort of a like well the pig 12 is wide open so maybe this is when kansas makes run 4d8 would be disappointing it would not be we're fire like no after what kansas has been through attempting to hire football coaches over the last decade that not a chance of every coach is just like who the fuck do you think you are yeah yeah um right in this next one i uh i think i disagree
Okay. I have Mike Norvell at six. Because I think Mike Norvell has already successfully weathered the...
Yeah, what the fuck would they fire him for at this point? He has successfully weathered the FSU bad years.
Like, he's shown that, like, he's... He weathered the MLK situation.
Not a phrase you ever want appended to your Wikipedia page, MLK controversy.
Um, I think in a lot of... I think in a lot of... I think in a lot of...
lot of like key stakeholders minds he he made the playoff last year i know that's not what happened but
i think they look at it and they're basically like yeah undefeated florida state made the playoff last year
and ESPN took it from them that's what happened and therefore if he has a down year again after
sending a bunch of talent to the draft i think he can probably get through four and eight i think
it immediately changes the tenor and i think 2025 is a hoot yeah but i i i am pretty confident
a four and eight year, Mike Norvell is this gets back to the well-liked thing.
I get the sense that like with it from the people that matter and just like
Florida State fans, Mike Norvell is pretty well-liked at this point.
And that will buy you a lot.
He's basically in the mothership for people who had cornrows in college.
I would say, Ryan, a key thing you said there was like he essentially made the playoff
according to stake, you know, in the minds of key stakeholders.
Yeah.
There's a key word that it would be good for him if it were there, but it's not.
That would be rational stakeholders because the last time I saw Florida State play football,
they were not in the playoff.
They were not in the postseason.
They were barely in the Orange Bowl.
That's true.
Out of five years, one was a rebuild that looked even worse than it had to.
One was confusingly terrible, and then this one would be confusingly terrible.
their expectations this year are like 10 and 2
oh it would yeah and and this is where
no I'm not gonna qualify it too much
I was gonna say like 4 and 8
for some teams it's 4 and 8 because everybody got hurt
and I think that buys you some
but like across the board
I do think Mike Norvel has like
the emotional equity built up
emotional boy that's another keyword with
because they fucking do shit right
they get mad at shit
they start they'll fucking sue him before they fire him right so i think one thing i'm counting on
here is florida state's um temperament yeah the one thing we can't know and the one the factor
i haven't added in here what happens if florida state goes four and eight and miami makes
the playoff and florida wins nine games and u s f is eight and four yes yes yes yes like
what happens then that's a little trickier to figure out um
Okay, number seven.
It's like putting a bunch of mintoes in a diet Coke bottle that's going to be responsible for picking the next president and shaking it.
If Miami wins the ACC and you go four and eight.
Well, unfortunately, Holly's just spoiled what the plan is at the Democratic National Convention.
Number seven, Dan Lanning can go four and eight and not get fired from Oregon.
Yeah, he'd have to update his tattoo.
We can't make the man do that.
I am fine if you want to put Dan Lanning above Mike Norvell.
but yeah i'd say that yeah okay
um number eight and this was a weird one but like we haven't been
we haven't been very nice to missou on this show over the years and i think
i think it is worth noting how good missouri was last year
they're also recruiting pretty well right now and
there i i think there would be a hesitation
to hire to fire eli drinkwitz if he went four and eight
after just finishing with a top 10 season
beating Ohio State in the Cotton Bowl
yes it would be bad
yes it would be frustrating
but like overall
I think Missou fans are happy
and also just like
I don't get the sense
that Missouri is a place where
one bad year and you're done
like Gary Pinkel went 5 and 7
his first year in the SEC
and then the next two years
they won the East
like I I he he had bad years before that like it doesn't feel like a knee jerk type thing again it will be immediately is Eli Drinkwood's the right man for this job blah blah blah but I think he could go for and Aton and not get fired yeah I had the other point in his favor there I think would be last year wasn't just like a fluke top 10 team yes it was legit top 10 team yeah like they they they push Georgia on the road two years in a row like the
team that did yeah just about um so yeah i think ely drink was to go for an eight cold seat
number nine jeff trailer this there is one tricky thing here i think i'm looking through this is our
first coach in texas and i do think the texas of it all can complicate things i think it's
the groundwater i mean there's a little bit of that jeff
has done very well and you know it seemed like he came very close to getting the
Texas A&M job um but I don't know can you can you go for any at UTSA after the
season that they had and it just be like that's fine we're not happy but we'll let you
stick around I think so yeah yeah I the only thing for me is all the teams in the new
AAC where the degree of difficulties go down a lot yeah means the standard goes up for
all those teams all right so we'll we'll go
go ahead and play the schedule game for UTSA this year.
Like, I think he's safe, but to me that would be the worry factor.
Um, they do, all right. So they do play Texas. So if you wanted to say that was one. Um, but yeah, oh, okay. Yeah. To go four and eight,
you're playing, you're playing Kennesaw State. Again, new FBS team, Texas State, who had a good year last year, but historically has not been particularly strong. Um, you are playing Houston Christian. I believe.
that's an fcs team east carolina who's been real up and down fayu tulsa they have not been
especially competitive lately rice memphis is probably an acceptable loss um north texas
and then and then temple and army yeah four and eight would be fourn eight would be hard to
it would be hard to sort of pull out big positives this conference is now like the big 12 right
the big 12 every team is like it could lose to this conference every team is
like, you probably shouldn't lose it.
It's the noise that Larry David makes in that GIF.
We have Big 12 at home.
Number 10, maybe higher, maybe lower.
And maybe not on this list at all.
Can Matt Campbell go four and eight?
I like this one a lot.
I think it's going to be funny either way.
This is one of those ones that's funny no matter what happens.
This is one where like, he's just there, man.
It's still there, huh?
And like, there's no real reason to get rid of him.
Went 4 and 8 in 2020.
came back and did not look promising early,
but like made a push where it was like briefly,
oh, Iowa State is in the weird math
of who will play in the Big 12 championship game.
This is another one where it's just like
basically all of their bull wins under one coach.
It's like him and Dan McCarney, and that's it.
So I think he's, I think he would probably be safe,
but, and maybe this is to Holly's point,
to what end?
If you fire Matt Campbell,
what are you doing after that?
We're finding another guy
in this lifetime who's going to be that gun-fucking hoe
about Iowa State.
This feels to me,
it's like similar to the Kansas and Wake things
where like there are probably Iowa State fans
who have sort of younger Iowa State fans
who've sort of forgotten Iowa State's baseline.
Like Kansas fans, you all remember
because it was very recent.
But like Iowa State fans
that are probably some
who look at Iowa and think like,
well, shit,
we should be winning a few more games per year.
But, like, no, this is as good as it gets.
So you better hang on to him.
Aim low.
Number 11.
What happens if PJ Fleck goes four and eight at Minnesota?
He's a fun to look at because it's like,
he hadn't done much, need to look it up.
And it's like, wow, nine wins, nine wins, 11 wins.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, granted in the West, but still.
Yeah.
He did, I think, the absolute last thing anybody expected him to do
when he took that job, which is, A, stay at that job,
B, get them to a fairly lofty plateau of success and just keep them there?
And be quiet about it.
Like, when's the last time you heard B.J. Flex say something insane.
Yeah. I haven't heard him say anything.
He's not a fucking football coach, but he's wearing a fucking football coach mask.
Like, I don't even remember if he came up at all in the last carousel.
I don't think so.
Not in the way that he has in years past, certainly.
Which, and there's always, well, there's always the geographical consideration with him,
because he's got, like, four real little kids.
Mm-hmm.
Like, he's got, like, a, not like a Luke fickle-sized brood, but close.
And, uh, moving, moving all those around is, uh, that's a lot.
Yeah.
Um, they have, they have a weird early schedule.
They play UNC at home.
I think that's at home.
I don't think that's at the Viking Stadium.
But it's in,
or no,
it is at the Viking Stadium.
They play UNC.
They play Iowa and Michigan all before you get to October.
Yikes.
So like.
Well,
we'll find out.
Yeah.
Of course,
they could,
you know,
they could,
looking at the back half of the schedule,
they could,
they could do.
almost anything, almost any
configuration with those first games and then
basically disappear
sure until, until bowl season.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that said, like
things have gone smoothly
smoothly enough at
Minnesota, at least in the win-loss column
that, yeah, I think PJ Fleck, I wouldn't
put him super, like, top of
the list here, but I think Forney,
more likely than not, he doesn't get fired.
And as what was once the most
vibes-based coach in America by a long shot, he has not put himself publicly in the position
to like annoy his way out of a job. Um, the rest of this list from this point on is where I am
not even sure this, these people belong on the list. Number 12, just like in the AP top 25 is where
we start to fall completely the pieces. Go ahead. Kick us, kick us off here and where things get
weird. Oh, I don't think this one's weird at all. Okay. I mean, you could, I think you could, I think
you could have put him up with his in-state rival uh chris climbing chris climin at kansas state i that's the pop tarts
bowl champion you're that's true that's true um i 4 and 8 is just a really bitter pill to swaddle i don't think it's
being reductive to put him up with lance either i wouldn't put him that high um just because the like
historical standard at k state is higher okay yeah that's fair and and it's also it's tricky because
like, while Chris Kleiman has certainly done, had good years, they aren't, he hasn't done that, he hasn't
gotten quite to the Bill Snyder level of a good year. Like there hasn't been a, oh, we are pushing
into the top 10 consistently. Um, there hasn't been a we are in the conversation to be in the
playoff. That may change this year. Obviously. I'm not sure. I'm not sure which. Yeah, that's true. I'm
quite on, but let me make this, let me make this argument just to make it.
Does, you know, after the, after the first end of the Bill Snyder era, the second end of the
Bill Snyder era, and everything we know about replacing a coach with decades of experience
and their name on buildings, is, is Kleinman's success to date?
not a miracle, but enough of a miracle against that historical backdrop to still have a kind of glow about it.
I think it has, yes, I think it has, yes.
That's kind of what I was thinking when I was thinking put him up with Lance.
I think it has value.
There have been no craters.
I think it has value.
I think the challenging thing is that I look at, and this is just hypothetical, I look at Kansas State as a school that is looking at the new big 12 and it's like, we should run this.
shit. Or we should be one of the two or three schools that run this shit. We have the overall
track record. I don't know a lot about K-Sate's administration. Sure. That's fair. I don't know what
their university position is on this. But I think the challenge in, the challenge with going
four and eight in this version of the big 12 is you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have anything in the
four that would clearly counteract the eight. Like you couldn't, you don't have the opportunity to
like beat Oklahoma and change the emotional feel of the whole season anymore.
Like they all,
they're all going to feel the same.
And for that reason,
the wins are not going to mean as much as the losses in some ways.
I would say,
I would say,
I mean, I would say he's safe based on what he's done.
I would also,
the K-State factor for me is your greatest coach was there for about a thousand years.
Right.
Like you,
they're not in the firing business.
case it is geological like you got to be ron prince bad year after year right yeah yeah i mean so
ron prince went seven and six five and seven five and seven so this would be if you went four and eight
you would do something ron prince never did you'd be in that zone but it would be uh his first bad non-covid
season yeah as it's eight and better yeah i think yeah okay i feel fine i feel fine leaving all right
so maybe it's below chris climbing where i'm not sure mike locksley goes forward
and eight at Maryland. I truly don't know what would happen at this point.
Let's see. Hang on. Let me, let me, let me check the most important. That would be 24-7 recruiting
rankings. Where is Maryland? Because if it's a, let's see what this number is, uh, 26, you're fine.
He's fine. He's fine. Okay. Okay. That's easy. Problem solved.
All right. I'm going to admit it again. This is the point where I'm not sure we go. Here we go.
Number 14.
I found Ron Prince on LinkedIn.
What's he doing?
Well, do you remember where we last saw Ron Prince?
I honestly, no.
Not at all.
Being placed on leave for verbal abuse and intimidation of his players at Howard in 2019.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
I forgot about that.
So I had to Google, where is Ron Prince now?
Mm-hmm.
Operating member.
I love this name so much that I love this name so much
that I hope he made it up.
Boss and Bull Business Solutions.
Ron, please sponsor this podcast.
Number 14, on the cold safest.
Boss and bull.
I think, and even saying it makes me doubt it,
I think Lane Kiffin could go four and eight
and not get fired at Old Miss.
Oh, that's the biggest blinkingest for who sign
there is.
It is also like
one of the things
that Lane Kiffin has done
Layne might really take a year off.
That is a real danger.
I have often...
I said it about Kirby.
He might do it.
I kind of tend...
This isn't necessarily fair,
but I kind of...
I feel like I can flate
Penn State and Ole Miss a lot
in terms of like
you're really good at like
winning the games you're supposed to
and then when it's like,
it's the CBS game of the week.
Ole Miss, Alabama,
and you've already lost my 17.
God damn it.
I love how they're both going to hate that comparison.
That's totally fair.
They will.
They will.
That's a great, Ryan.
But Lane has done a much better job of developing a cult of internal personality at Old Miss
than James Franklin has at Penn State.
He's got way more memes.
What an amazing sentence.
That also happens to be true.
I also think one of the key differences between Penn State and Ole Miss is that, like,
Penn State does have, I think, a mostly rightly earned.
expectation of this is the stratosphere we should exist in within college football.
And there are plenty of Ole Miss fans who know, like, no, we can be absolute dog shit.
We can be a terrible team in the SEC.
And we have had coaches, they have had coaches they liked before who did that roller coaster,
who were like, oh, cool, we almost won the SEC this year.
What?
We went three and nine in the next year.
That's crazy.
Let's go back to the Grove.
Hugh Freeze is their most stable coach of the last 20 years.
I think that's maybe what makes them cling to lane like a wire monkey.
Mm-hmm.
Like the wire mother?
There's also like...
They still have half the student body meaning for him after he openly stumps for jobs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then he doesn't take the job.
That like, him not taking the...
Dad's home.
Him not taking the Auburn job, I think, like, probably worked out for him in a while.
He's got the whole family.
I had that wrong, by the way.
Last time I talked about this on the air, I thought that there was an Auburn booster faction that shot it down.
I had that backwards.
so
this will probably be their highest preseason ranking in like a decade
what is it
it's not out yet but it probably will be
preseason expectations about 10 and 2
they had one would be a crater
but his first
yeah sure
I think you know and like
honestly he could just post his way through it
like you say he like he has them
around his finger like acting as if they are in on the joke um and everyone likes to feel as if they
are in on the joke so i don't know as long as he says some funny shit they'll be fine
there there is also and and maybe we make too much of this but like there's a real difference
if you're four and eight and you beat mississippi state and four and eight you lost to him like it
will just taste different so but i i feel fine leaving him on this list number 15 i think
So this is one where, like, it's hard for, this is one where I do want to get into the hypothetical of it, because I think, I definitely want to get into this one.
I think Steve Sarkesian has, has put Texas on a positive enough trajectory that he could go for an eight, and I'm not like, they're absolutely canning his ass tomorrow.
Like, I'm not, yeah, yeah, because here's the, here's the beauty of this one.
Here's the beauty of this one.
either version, either outcome for this is hysterical.
So the one thing I can't wrap my head around is how do you go for,
like when you go four and eight,
what happens with the Ewers Manning situation?
How did that go?
Like how did you go four and eight?
Yeah, they're both gone after,
but how did you get there before?
Right.
Like what did that look?
What did that four and eight journey look like during the season?
How did you manage that?
Because I'm assuming.
Let's game the same.
out. I'm assuming you had a pretty
shitty quarterback experience
if you lost eight games in Texas. I'm assuming that you
burned, that you burned
a red shirt for no good
reason on a really early
gamble and lost. I mean
because you can like
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah,
there, week two. Yeah. Who's week
two? Michigan.
Oh. Pulling
yours that early in the year and immediately
causing a quarterback conversation.
Here we go. And I'm not
wishing this but it's happened before how about mid third quarter at michigan putting in arch and getting
him hurt that would be terrible getting him pulling him pulling him in a knee-jerk reaction in a
september game and getting arch hurt yeah i mean like the tricky part about this is that so
sark went five and seven is first year um charlie strong had a couple of five and seven years mac
brown had a five and seven year you have to go back to nineteen ninety seven when we didn't even
play 12 games in a regular season to find a four-win Texas team.
Texas is, Texas has, and I think, Jason, you've written about this in the past,
Texas tends to get overrated.
Folks, we have some breaking news also.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, what?
Uh, two hours ago.
Oh, our arch manning is in the game.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Which is a, it's a great way to avoid attention, join the game all by yourself.
Yeah.
Thank God.
The, um, oh, this is so sad.
His announcement has Eli.
in it.
God,
Arsh, love yourself.
The thing about their schedule is
4 and 8,
that means you're very likely
going 1 in 7
in your brand new conference.
Yes.
Yes.
That's, yeah,
the SEC of it is really bad.
Yeah.
With no chance to establish
that you're better than Bama
because you don't play.
4 and 8 is,
so 4 and 8 is wins over
Colorado State,
UTSA, and ULM.
And that means
you are losing to
some combination of Mississippi State.
Oh, my God.
Mississippi State, Red River, Georgia, Vandy, Florida, Arkansas, Kentucky.
And, oh, what are they playing in that last week there?
Okay.
Hear me out.
There's a funnier scenario than Texas going four and eight.
Mm-hmm.
And that is Texas going into November 30th at A&M with five wins.
Or you know if they're not rivals or this would be a big deal.
We didn't talk about Mike Elko on the one-year list
because I do think he can go four and eight this year.
Mostly because I think everybody hated Jimbo so much by the end
he could just put all of the blame on him.
Yeah.
But I would not advise it.
I would not Mike Elko, if you're listening,
don't go four and eight this year.
That's a bad plan.
No, I'm talking about Texas going into A&M having four or five ones.
Right.
God.
I yeah the more we're talking about this like
I just gonna win the title game and people are gonna play this episode
where we go I think if well if if Texas went four and eight
which I don't think they're going to but I cannot imagine like
I cannot imagine like how how miserable that Texas offseason will look like
because we're used to like bad Texas offseason because they only won eight games
not because they lost eight games
Ooh, that's a different flavor.
Like, that would be, that would maybe be so, maybe what it is is this.
Four and eight would be so poisonous to Sark that he wouldn't get fired that year,
but it's just like, when will this poison kick in and take hold?
It will happen at some point.
When was Texas's last season of that ilk?
It's McAvex last year.
Yeah, there's another program with a high floor.
Yeah, like, it's just not a thing that happens.
The last name we have on our cold seat list, 16 coaches in total.
Gus Malzon can go four and eight at UCF.
I put that in there.
Okay, I would like to hear this case because I'm not sure I agree with it.
It's the same answer.
For what?
That's the logical answer, though.
Yeah, I mean.
Okay, I don't think, are we conflating UCFs online with UCF's administration?
I don't think so when their AD is out here.
here acting like the most online of them all the time yeah yeah i mean like their first two years
in the power conference that they clamored for for a decade if they have two losing seasons in their
first two years they're going to try and hire bill bellichick or something there's that's see
that's the maybe that's the disconnect i'm seeing because they're so fucking lucky to have gus and i'm
not sure they know that that's what i thought about auburn though yeah i people love firing
I think Gus Mousin at UCF is like maybe a perfect example of like I have no idea what would
happen in a bad season. I can see it going either way. I'm not confident four and eight would get him
fired. I'm not confident he would be safe. This is what his fourth season? It'd be his fourth season and each one
would have gotten worse in that in that scenario. I don't know. I don't know. All right. Well, you know
what, we're just doing this drive engagement anyway. So Gus Malzod, cold seat. What do you think
folks? Call in. Let us know. Um, or are we going to find any UCF fans to talk to online?
Never. Can't happen. Uh, Holly, you have added potential comedic grenades. I won't reveal who they are,
but I assume you're saying with these, what happens if these coaches go four and eight? Wouldn't that be
alert? I'm saying, I was ranking the top three coaches where it would be the funniest if they went
four and eight and did not get fired.
Wow
Okay, all right
Based on that
I love two of these names of this list
And one I vehemently disagree with
But I am willing to hear you out
Let's let's let's start with the bottom
Let's go reverse order
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay, okay
Because we're going to have to go into hiding
Yeah
Number three, Brent Venables
Yeah, after they gave them a billion dollar extension
For averaging eight wins per year
And this again, this is not me predicting
any of these teams going eight this is this is me looking at the country and going okay which which schools
do i want most want to watch internalize a four and eight season in which they have to keep the coach
same coach for the next year yeah i mean this this is much like the sark example like if you do
this your first year in the cc it just puts such a bad taste on things uh yeah it's not because i
like it's not like i like particularly watching any of these fan bases suffer because we we watch
two of them have very high bars for suffering.
But I,
it's kind of like I got an ant farm and I'm like,
oh,
what happens if I poke it right here?
Oklahoma went,
so Oklahoma went six and seven in 2022,
which was the first time they had slipped below 500 since 1998,
when they went five and six.
And the year before that was when they went four and eight under John Blake.
Like, this is also a fan base that would have no experience with how to deal with a four and eight season whatsoever.
This is why I want to see it.
It is not the most fan base on this list, though, but we'll get to them.
No, no, stop.
Okay.
Number two is a bit of like a, this is like a TKO.
Like, I want to see this scored on the cards just because we've done it already.
So what does it look like the second time?
And that is Greg Shiano.
So Greg Chirono going four and eight at Rutgers?
Yes.
I mean, I guess where I'm at is I feel like given...
This is purely because I'm interested because this is the second Greg Shiano era at Rutgers.
Right.
And I think it feels like the way that he was brought back and the way in which he kind of strong-armed them into his second, into that contract after he unceremoniously left the NFL.
You see the vision, yes.
I feel like Ruckers is institutionally locked into the position that we cannot have a coach other than Greg Shiano.
Not we shouldn't, not it's not a good idea.
Just like the way in which this molecule works together, Greg Shiano particle is the only one we can bond with.
Here's the other thing.
These are Venom symbiote.
Here's the other thing.
Apart from last season.
Yeah.
if you take Greg Shianos
Round two at Rutgers
If you take Greg Shianno's second era at Rutgers
You have
A three win season
A five win season and a four win season
Which emerges out to three four win seasons
Keep them coming
So basically I'm asking how many times
I started out by looking for who is the most four and eight coach
Yeah
And then I came to the conclusion of how many times can we press this button
Forever
They've got a lot of fucking money to go forward
Yeah, yeah.
Like, so like over the last decade, um, I just looked this up.
They have averaged exactly four wins per season.
That's including some awful seasons and some decent ones, but like four and eight for me,
that's, I think you ride that forever at ruggers.
Yeah, that's like a, a kind of bad ruckers year.
It's like you're boiling salamanders instead of frogs.
Salamanders who were raised in volcanoes and they're like, this is cool.
It is a very seas get degrees approach.
Hell yeah.
Get that fucking money.
Don't make too much noise.
Stay put.
But I'm very confused to have Greg Shiotto in the middle of the sandwich that has
Brett Venables is the bottom bread, and who is the top bread and Holly?
Okay, once again, I'm not calling for this team to go four and eight,
despite what we may have seen them doing the last time on a football field.
But if you're that head up to fire your coach just because of the one game he can't win,
what happens if Ryan Day has a crater of a year and they keep him?
which would be Ohio State's worst year since what
1988
and they keep him
John Cooper went four six and one
in his first year at Ohio State
so this would be worse than that
this is like this is the ultimate
haters prom by the way because you're like
no I'm saying you're going to keep your coach I'm not saying he'll be fired
this would be worse than any year for them
since I think 1947
two six and one
I mean if you
if you look at their schedule
actually know this is worse than that
like if you're saying
all right so let's give them
oh it's not likely but it's
fun
let's do the fun part
I think this would be their worst season ever
so
so let's give them the non-cons of Akron
Western Michigan and Marshall those are all wins
okay hang on what if they trip up against Marshall
just for fun I mean it happened
another name.
Let's,
let's what I'm saying.
Let's start it at Marshall.
Okay,
I'm serious.
This would be their worst season
of football ever.
Like the other two,
the other two in the,
in the,
in that zone are World War II era that it's fake.
Right, right.
Where it's like, yeah.
Okay, so if we say
they're losing to Marshall,
Holly, you can only have
two more wins from the following.
I am taking Nebraska.
Uh-huh.
And I am taking,
oh,
they'll beat Indiana like yeah the universe is cruel enough in this scenario that even 40 Ohio
would beat Indiana I was kind of toggling back and forth between uh between Purdue and
Indiana there but yeah let's take what if this what if Indiana is what does it what if
Indiana breaks the buck eyes so we would so that if we did if we if Indiana did they play too late
in the year to do that we would watch this does yes have them losing to um Michigan state
Iowa, Oregon, Penn State, Purdue, Northwestern, and Michigan.
I think we, so the thing to add here is not only this would be, would this be their worst season ever.
This is an especially hyped year for Ohio State, which is saying a lot.
Yes. So here's what I, here is what I will guarantee. There's no way that Ryan Day goes four and eight and gets fired because he's not going to make it to the 12th game. If it's going to have poorly.
I mean, we're talking oh and one he's fired. That's Akron.
Like, but I think Holly is right because this would be a cataclysmic event that would be one of the, literally one of the most confusing things in human history if he goes four and eight this year and sticks around.
No, but Ryan's right too.
The real, the real test is going to be, the real problem, the tightro of the day is walking here is that, well, the knock on him is that he can't beat Michigan.
We have yet to have to consider him losing to any, well, let's discard the bowls.
We have yet to consider him losing to anybody else.
like Jason this would be the worst season in Ohio State history it might also be the worst like we don't know yet but there's a decent chance Ohio State will be the preseason number one yeah the last the only other recent example of a team collapsing this badly is that USC team that started the year and this would be way worse than that and this would be way worse than that this would be so much it would be way worse and at a school that just is never bad relative to expectations
It's not that they're not emotionally equipped for this
is that they've never had a reason to be emotionally
That would be the most disappointing team
This is Atlanta doesn't have snow plows
That would be the most disappointing team
In college football history
I'll go check to confirm that
I've looked at this shit enough to I'll tentatively stand on
And so Holly is correct that if Ohio State
had the worst season in college football history
The most alarming season in college football history
But they beat Michigan
And didn't fire Ryan Day
that would be...
I didn't even entertain that possibility.
Absolutely, fuck and bonkers.
Yeah.
They knock Michigan out of the playoff.
Is there anybody we have left off of potential cold seat consideration who we think
like they can just give us a real shit year and they're probably fine?
I mentioned wrist ride.
I also, I'm sort of on the fence-ish about Casey Keeler at Sam Houston State.
He won their only NCAA title.
Oh for two in FBS seasons.
it would still be improvement over year one.
He's been there for like 50, not 50 years, but it feels like 50.
It's like 15, but like he's, he has a national title there.
I would, I'd keep him for another year.
Who cares?
Okay.
The other that is fascinating to me is Jamora.
I did look at that.
Where the men's basketball program there is officially a better job than the Los Angeles Lakers.
Meanwhile, the football team is in a situation where you're like, I guess you keep the guy who's
won seven games of two years.
Yeah.
Yeah, he had that one incredible year when I thought he should have been coach of the year.
But like, you know, if you don't win anything, I don't know.
Yeah, one thing that I think we've understudied maybe, especially now that we have a chance to see them making the transition in the opposite direction, is what does being one of those sad independents do to this sense of urgency?
Like when you don't have, absent the context of a conference race, right?
Like, what does that do to this?
This is tricky because Yukon's also coming off of two back-to-back men's national titles
and not losing their coach to the Lakers.
The other one that I didn't know what to do with is Sean Clark at App State.
Like things have been fine there, not necessarily like, maybe not as good.
They've only won the division once.
But, you know, they're consistently going to bowl games.
Um, they're not, they haven't, you know, really had a bottom.
That'd be their, that'd be their worst season since the eight, the 1981.
Wait, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, um, like, uh, no, no, the worst year they've had in FBS was six and six.
Oh, in FBS. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I, I, I, I'm looking at sports reference, but there, certainly there was a bad FCS here.
Okay. Okay. I think, yeah, I think, yeah. I can give you a temperature check, uh, on Appalachian state. This is not good.
enough.
Yeah.
Four and eight.
Yeah.
No, no.
Oh, even the status quo is not good enough.
Like what's been happening is not good enough.
So four and eight, I think, would hurt.
Nine and five last year.
And that's not good enough.
It's not.
Like, they, they have, like, they understand where they came from and what they were doing
there.
But I think they also understand now, like, oh, we've had a bunch of 10 win seasons.
Like in the Sunbelt, we belong there doing that winning 10 games, like,
potential like pushing i just i don't think like there's i don't think i don't think i don't think it's
okay like he if he comes out and like if he was to come out and like lay an egg against climpson
and not seem competitive in that game and then go four and eight they would probably entertain
the idea of moving on okay i yeah um i i i the other thing i was kind of thinking with that is like
it probably chafes to see like jm you be the darling of the conference right now when you're like
what like it's not like oh
somebody who's been a Sunbelt team for 50 fucking,
it's just like another FCS nuke it on the block
and they can just come in and like do all this great shit.
Yeah, I think, I get where you're coming from there.
It's the Doc Holiday Johnny Ringo scene in Tombstone.
He's like,
something about him reminds him of me and I really hate him.
That's exactly what's going on.
J.M.U. and Apple at you.
Okay.
But that's it.
All other.
so I think by everybody else you're on fucking notice everybody yes other than other than the what like
maybe like 40 coaches we've accounted for everybody else is on the hot seat by definition um
Ryan keep this list because I want to come back to it and uh at the end of the season and see
and see if we accidentally spoke somebody's poor fate in existence it's gonna be somebody we just
like odds are yeah no I think that's right we have like uh
I mean, Matt Campbell's on this list, so there's definitely a 4-18 possibility going on here.
I hate to say it.
Listen, I don't want to be mean, but sometimes I have to be.
That's not true at all.
That's true.
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