Shutdown Fullcast - The Cold Seat Episode

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Without Spencer we’re apparently powerless to open the show What’s a cold seat? Don’t ask us, this was Ryan’s idea We put Bill O’Brien through a lot, for some reason New fried chicken bet...! Catching up with Ron Prince Which coach could most easily post his way through a 4-8 season? Theorizing Ohio State’s worst season ever This week's theme song arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com  Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:46 Get $250 when you join Ramp for free. Just go to ramp.com slash easy. Ramp.com slash easy. Ramp.m.p.com slash easy. Current's issued by Sutton Bank and Celtic Bank members of DIC terms and conditions apply. I still don't fully understand what's happening with the Popeye's thing. I don't understand what, yeah, I don't understand why, what Twitter's objection was. I, having only looked into it to the extent of its Elon versus Popeyes, which is a Morpheus is fighting Neo level of call to action, I'm like, I'm there, say no more.
Starting point is 00:01:24 like the battle lines could not be more clear I am on the side of righteousness all I know is they have some sort of a beef with Elon and I think it's because they were handing out free shit on his website which maybe that counts as an ad that they're not paying for or something
Starting point is 00:01:41 that would be my only guess without actually looking into any of it like I don't know maybe they said something anti-racist at some point the thing that I saw was like they the thing that I saw was they were handing out coupons for free wings so Elon deleted their account and I'm like I don't I'm missing why that
Starting point is 00:01:57 preposition is in there yeah I mean he uh I mean without question they're too spicy for him I know that much my only my only slight suspicion against Popeye's and I want to emphasize that it's like is that they put out a press release they're not that organized well they put out a press release ahead of time that was like this might get us kicked off of social media but we are so brave and so we believe so hard. They are. That's the part I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:02:29 I don't know. But I don't know. Yeah. Well, maybe like, it feels like the one thing for Popeye's to be adept at is like employing some Louisiana lawyer who just knows more than he needs to for a he or she needs to for no good reason, right? And that person's like, hey, if you do this, Twitter will zap us. And they're like, why?
Starting point is 00:02:55 And this lawyer's like, trust me. So they do it, knowing it's a great marketing stunt. There's a whole section in the terms of service about boneless wings. Elon hates him. Oh, he hates him. Because he loves bones, because he doesn't have any. He loves the sweet bones. So you heard of here first, Elon doesn't have bones.
Starting point is 00:03:13 He does love him. That's why he's shape so fucking weird. He is real trapezoid, isn't he? He doesn't have anything inside to hang all his flesh out. Yeah, yeah, he's like in the first section. Men film when the senator is briefly a mutant but doesn't can't hold his shape it is he's so fucking bad at elton ring because he's shaped like one of its bosses wait is he a bad gamer yeah he posted his uh elden ring character like a year or two ago and everyone is like are
Starting point is 00:03:41 are you trying to lose because it was like it was like yeah I run around with this big ass fucking shield that makes it so I can't dodge and like it was the worst character you could possibly construct the cyber the cyber truck of RPG characters yes you're the you're the I'm pretty sure the light went on for a lot of people like made up Iron Man sucks at video games this is the one thing you should be good at it yeah like it's opposed to real Iron Man it'd be like if he had an intolerance for pizza rolls maybe that's it like the Nuggies are moving in on pizza rolls territory. Man.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Hard to say. What a time. Who's doing the welcome this week? I did it last week. Has server ever done the welcome? Server's done the welcome? Server's done the welcome. Serber does have...
Starting point is 00:04:35 Serber's like, I know what my contract says and I'm not doing the welcome. Server has the most beautiful voice. Everybody at home knows that he was on mute and server was just nodding like, yes, I am not doing this. I've done the welcome multiple times. Can I ask her a request? good. Can I ask her a question for this week? Sure. I'm really awesome. Can I
Starting point is 00:04:53 can I get a be on venue? Bienvenu? Like that? No, in the style of welcome. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. All right. you can't make me laugh we're sorry we were fucking doomed from the vowel sound that you paired with the V at the video we were gone it sounded like Dracula warming B...
Starting point is 00:06:05 for the shutdown fullcast. When your eyes got real big, it's like eight second mark. Thank you. Thank you, Serber. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Dance puppet. He's Michael Serber. I'm Ryan Nanny. That's Holly Anderson. Also Jason Kirk. Spencer Hall's not here. Missing out on the fun. Um, server can we get a quick tour to France update since we started French? Uh, yeah, the tour, uh, just had stage nine today. They've made it through their, or excuse me, stage 10 today. They've made it through their first rest day, which was yesterday. How many stages are they? There are 21 stages. There will be one additional rest day. Um, the big, huge, massive thing that's happened in the tour so far as Mark Cavendishby, Eddie Merck's, um, stage win record. Uh,
Starting point is 00:07:05 with his 35th stage win yes holly what do they do on rest days like do they actually like do some light cycling or do they just like live prone for the whole day yeah i think they have to i think like just physically because of just to keep everything kind of loose they do go out and do they all stay in one house together they do they're all in like a hotel they're in a hotel and like they're doing an easy training ride which is really just like spinning the wheels around but they're basically being pampered for 24 hours like a lot of massage like they might eat something a little more like pleasurable like they might have had a beer after the sunday stage since they had monday off there are some like there are some teams who will drink a beer like any night of the
Starting point is 00:07:52 week and then there are some who are very strict and they won't have any alcohol whatsoever until the tour is over with there's a part there's a thing about that in the tour documentary on Netflix in fact, but like, and that was like a big knock on Andy Schleck back in the day when he couldn't quite beat Contador on the road. Everyone would always say, well, it's because Schlicht gets drunk every fucking night. Well, because Schleck doesn't drink enough beer. I mean, yeah, he needed more, clearly. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, yeah, rest days are pretty chill for these guys considering how fucked everything else is. The one thing is, if you're the yellow jersey, like Todi Pagaccha right now, like he probably had some media obligations.
Starting point is 00:08:33 on the rest day that, like, no one else would have had. Okay. I, I, uh, how are you, how are you feeling about how the tour is proceeding as a whole? Good tour, bad tour, yet to be determined tour? No, very good tour so far. Um, right now the defend, the two-time defending champ, uh, Jonas Vingerard is a minute 15 back of Taddy Pogacha, um, but that's a time. that he could very easily make up.
Starting point is 00:09:04 There was a stage last year where Pogacha kind of got hunger knock or he like boinked basically on the final climb and lost like six, seven minutes, something like that. So like that could always happen. He already has a Gero in his legs, which is the Italian, the Tour of Italy, which is a three-week stage race. It's really hard to win the Giro Tour double. That hasn't happened since Marco Pantani did it in 98. I think, and that is in the very questionable period of cycling.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Marco Pentanyomo certainly was dope to his gills to be able to get that done. And then there's questions like Miguel and Doreen when he did it, like probably really doped up when he did it. So questions obviously today, because doping is like constantly in the sport, but like maybe Tade had to do it to accomplish it this year. But there's a lot of race yet left and there's like four guys that are still very much contention all within a minute and a half of each other with the big mountain stages still to come sweet um i assume everybody who's listening to this show not only gets all your college football
Starting point is 00:10:14 news from the show but all your sports news in general maybe all your news i don't know if that's the best of it yet but definitely all sports news so did i tell you guys that um at one of our summer stops we met the bob stoops guy the the the no i don't think you did um i might i have holes in my he either came to in i'm guessing he came to michigan because if he came to indy i feel like i'm not the only one that would have met him right um but we did actually get to meet the guy who who found out that bob stoop's was fired from the full cast a full whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa now we're bob stoop's was what bob stoop's not fired whatever it's very i'm sorry i i was thinking of mike stoop's sorry okay that's fair i was i was reacting to there being bob stoop's news i was reacting
Starting point is 00:10:58 as if I was finding out right now. I'm kind of amazed that's never happened to Spencer. Is he still out in the UFL? I think he is. Is the UFL still around? Does he still have that like...
Starting point is 00:11:12 The U.S.L. Birmingham just won the U.F. like, I don't know. Like a month or two ago? I bet you can tell based on whether or not he still has that scruff. Like if he's gotten a real job...
Starting point is 00:11:22 Oh. Looking like a three and seven year for the Arlington whatever's. Damn. We're going to come back to the notion of three and seven here in just a little bit. Folks, speaking of coaches who can probably weather a three and seven season. Yeah, this is, I'm just going to get this warning out of the way. We're going to talk about some college football today.
Starting point is 00:11:42 I know. I know it's July 9 when we're doing this. I know. Our listeners. There are other places you can go for college football discussion, but for whatever reason, I just had a handker. Godfrey's on vacation. Godfrey's always on vacation. Or you call it parental leave.
Starting point is 00:11:59 He calls a vacation, whatever. But yeah, I proposed to Jason and Holly that we do something called a cold seat list. Everybody's got a hot seat list. You probably know who's on it. If you don't, you can go Google it. There's one, and I'm sure it will sort of come up on the side here. But I was interested in discussing who are the coaches heading into. this year of college football who could go and I set the line at four and eight who could go four
Starting point is 00:12:31 and eight and we think that they would keep their job to me this is in some ways a trickier question than who's on the hot seat because it's definitely a funnier question well hot seats are very dependent on the emotions and the moods of the relevant uh booster group fan base school moves elsewhere in the athletic than at the university university budgets, state budgets. They're very schedule dependent. Seven and five is not the same for everybody.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Four and eight's not the same for everybody either, but in almost every case, four and eight sucks. It's bad to go four and eight. Why did I pick four and eight? I don't know. It feels like a good sort of like, if you can't get better than this,
Starting point is 00:13:17 it's hard for people to see a real, it's hard to find a positive, been on it. Five and seven, even the most optimistic fan can sort of say, like, well, we were one win away from bowl eligibility, and here's the one where we totally got cheated. And of these five games, we won, a couple of them were important. And our schedule was impossible, whatever. Four and eight, putting lipstick on that particular pig is impossible. Coaches can survive it. Brian Kelly survived it at Notre Dame. Well, Must Champ survived it at Florida. It's not impossible, but I think going through the exercise of who can actually make it through 4 and 8
Starting point is 00:13:54 is, to me, trickier and more interesting than just who's on the hot seat because as we start media day cycle, you're going to hear from all the coaches on the hot seat about how we don't believe in them, and we're bad people for that. Sorry, Neil. Hey. No, you're right. Asked and answered. You're right.
Starting point is 00:14:16 You're not wrong. I want to start with a couple of exclusions category exclusions and I look through the list I'm going to fight you on one of these no I'm excited to fight about this because I think you're right I want to preface it but I think this that one is right I'm going to start with the bottom exemption
Starting point is 00:14:37 you know that folks we got notes anybody yeah there are notes in this one this is how you know Spencer's not on this episode anybody who has had their job since 2014, with a couple of exceptions. I think if you have been in the job for 10 years, you have probably done enough that one four and eight year won't sink you,
Starting point is 00:14:59 and you have bought enough, you probably have enough, what I would call like personality equity, like to go back to Will MustChamp, one of the reasons people said that he hung on at Florida, despite, you know, kind of disappointing results a lot of the time, was that he was really popular. players really liked him, other coaches really liked him, he was well, he was, people thought he was a nice guy and good to work with. And I think it's probably unlikely that you can stay at one job for 10 years and not at least have something close to that. I'm sure there are examples of this not being the case, but I do have, I do have two. There's a big one. I do have two examples. I know we're all thinking. Yeah, I have two exceptions I want to pull out here. And then there's the third that I do have.
Starting point is 00:15:47 I've seen. That's not mine, but I'm excited to see who put it in the dock. Number one, Dave Closson. If Dave Closson went four and eight, he just went four and eight last year. That'd be the second year going four and eight in a row. It would make him sub-500 in his tenure at Wake Forest. I'm not, Wake Forest is not necessarily the itchiest trigger. So it could happen, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were like, no. Like, whatever, whatever Bloom was on the rows is no longer here anymore. How do you feel about Dave Klausen not cool seat? I don't buy this one for one reason. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:24 For the very first question that should be asked, and frequently is not when chasing these new coaching hires. For what? Will, to get who instead? For whom? Yeah. Okay. Like, I guess I can see the argument that if you think Klausen has,
Starting point is 00:16:47 If you think Claussen has elevated the program to a certain platform and he is at his personal ceiling, I can see bringing in a young guy to take over at that higher platform, but also, it's wake. Like, you're already working from so many disadvantages there. He has, like, most of their bowl wins since, like, Jim Grope. And that doesn't mean they won't. that doesn't mean they like Grobe one like I'm not sure they should okay gosh
Starting point is 00:17:22 man I really won five I really thought Jim Grob was the glory days that's on me no Clausen's the golden days yeah Clausen is they're in their golden days
Starting point is 00:17:32 like right now okay he will never get he will never get fired from that job okay ever Jim Grob never never ever Jim Grob's definitely on the cold season since he's not working in college football
Starting point is 00:17:41 welcome to the fridge Dave Closson cold seat list. I accept that I'll take him off the list right now. The other one, who's been here? This is the one that I couldn't even, like, you look at it, you're like, I guess that makes sense, but it's surprising. Holly, just go ahead and drop this one. I think it'd be funny if we all set it on three and jump up in the air at the same time.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Ready? Okay. One, two, three. James Franklin. Okay. Thank you, Ryan, and no one else. Yeah. Start in the freeze frame.
Starting point is 00:18:14 James Franklin's done, done plenty of good things. James Franklin's done, says Ryan Nanny. Yeah, you know what, that's fine. He can clip that out. His accomplishments at Penn State have been fine. I think everybody's sort of clear on like what hasn't happened that has needed to. Penn State is frequently trotted out as the perfect team to benefit from the 12-team playoff to sort of no longer have to deal with like, well, you lost two best teams you played.
Starting point is 00:18:41 The perfect team to be the first team to leave. lose a home playoff. Before Notre Dame? Wow. That's a rival. Notre Dame spot. Do not steal that from Notre Dame. That is a rivalry trophy waiting to happen. Oof. Come on. But to find the last time Penn State went four and eight or worse, you have to go back.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I mean, you can count 2004, I guess, since they went four and seven. And the year before that, they went three and nine. These are Joe Paterno years before everything turned very unpleasant for Joe Paterno in Penn State football. Even like the down years post-Sandowski and the down years James Franklin has had, he went four and five in the COVID year, lost Indiana. I feel obligated to remind everybody that, yes, Indiana did beat Penn State. Bill did a yeoman's job in there. Yes. Considering everything.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Like I know his reputation now is what it is. but, like, stepping into that maw and then doing what he did, I don't, I'm not sure that he got enough credit for what he did there. But with Franklin, I think it would be, there would be like three down years in the last five. And, I mean, overall, he's a really fucking good coach. Like, I mean, I'll join in the jokes on him all, you know, around the clock. But, like, overall, like, he has them at an extremely good place here and and you're out.
Starting point is 00:20:10 The thing for me is, is. midfield so we're all kind of jealous the thing for me is this is the first year of big 10 realignment where they don't have to play michigan and ohio state every single year this is the year that that is finally off their plate um so if this is the year it tanks yeah that's a 50 million dollar-ish buyout but uh it's also that thing it's the thing holly was saying about wake forest where it's like well for whom penn state is if penn state starts It applies to everybody. That should be everybody's first question. But if you're going four and eight at Penn State,
Starting point is 00:20:46 then that question becomes a lot easier. Like, it's been harder because it's like you're winning 10 games. Yeah, well, you're saying for whom and reaching into the to the fish bowl for Penn State, you're going to come up with a lot more pennies. I don't know what this metaphor is. It's a much bigger fish. Yes. You're going to come up to a lot more live wriggling fish.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Yeah. This is Georgia firing Mark Rick for like the country's best assistant coach. This isn't Wake Forest finding some fucking, you know, FCS, whoever. right right yes butch jones um and then someone has put do we want to make a mark stoop's argument here which i would be that was me and here is why um i and i say this as the person on the show who has been the loudest and most hollering about the stoop's tenure at kentucky since its inception but like we were saying a few minutes ago kentucky's athletic department is seismic And it's not getting less fractious, I don't think.
Starting point is 00:21:47 They are, despite recent big moves in the basketball program, I don't think that's going to settle anything down. It's definitely not going to, nothing that happens on the basketball side can plaster over the cracks in the relationships between stoops and the athletic department. And this is another one where like, I'm not saying, I'm not saying they should. I'm saying they might
Starting point is 00:22:12 I agree with you and I am less confident I think if you asked me a couple years ago could Mark Stoops go 4 and 8 be fine I would say yes Kentucky has still been has still been a well-run football team and it's still like
Starting point is 00:22:27 it's better than it's better off than they were pre-Marx Stoops absolutely yeah but 7 and 6 is not the same thing as winning nine or 10 games which is his fault Yeah, yeah. There is like a little, I know, like, we have collectively said in the past that, like, Mark Stoops has the best job in college football because he, like, he has a very achievable bar to reach. I still think that's true, but he's just in a weird, he's in a weird, it's a weird moment in time for the Kentucky hive.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Yes. Right now where if there's going to be a spite-based firing this year, I think you have to look at Lexington first. The other thing I would add to that pot, if you go four and eight this year, the first year of the, Texas, Oklahoma, SEC. I think there is a level of panic that will kick in that sort of says, like, oh, no, we are bottoming out or we are on the decline
Starting point is 00:23:20 at the worst possible time when the league is harder at the top, and the idea of us cracking that level or staying in sort of like the upper middle class of it is more tenuous than it might have been previously, and this is not the time for patience. Now, looking at Kentucky's schedule,
Starting point is 00:23:39 I'm not sure 4 and 8 is even possible I said this before I look at the schedule I'm not sure they could get 4 and 8 okay so I should clarify when I put this list together I didn't look at any schedules and I also didn't look at any buyouts I know like there are some buyouts
Starting point is 00:23:55 that will come into this but I didn't really think I just thought like would people be pissed about 4 and 8 so I was having a hard time I can find four losses on this schedule and after that it gets there's a bit of a chasm so I would picture them keeping him like you know it's it's the SEC it's crazy sports state whatever there'd be a lot
Starting point is 00:24:14 of yelling and stuff but it'd be his first truly down year outside of 2020 um this schedule it fbi has it fourth hardest in the country their their uh their win totals are like six and a half so it'd be you know a couple more losses than uh what the numbers expect it wouldn't seem disastrous to me i do think 2024 being a big shake up year all over like when a lot of fan bases are thinking like hey If we're just slightly better, we make the playoff. That might mess with a lot of brains, so it'll be interesting to see how that plays out across the country. I would bet, not a lot, but some money that he could survive for an eight.
Starting point is 00:24:53 And specifically to Kentucky, even if it doesn't happen there, but pursuant to what you were just saying, this is also a great excuse for a year for a lot of firings that schools wanted to do and didn't have a great excuse for. this is also going to be a great cover year for firings that people just wanted to do all right
Starting point is 00:25:16 that covers the been there for a decade plus group anybody else you can think of in that group like yes Kirk Ferrensen go four and eight and I'm not confident that they're going to fire him he's gone fine and seven and not gotten fired I mean the Supreme Court has ruled he can get away with whatever he wants in the NFL there was no margin for error. One mistake can change the outcome of the game. Science proves quality
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Starting point is 00:26:18 And now, during Sleep Number's biggest sale of the year, say 50% on the Sleep Number Limited Edition Smart Bed, plus special financing for a limited time. Only at a Sleep Number store or Sleep Number.com. Sleep number, official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL, C Store for details. So the other category I want to rule out and say that these are people who are on the cold seat just automatically. Anybody in year one at their school and anybody in year two at that school at a job. And I'm not saying that just because like year one and year two you get a pass. I looked through and I sort of said like, okay, of the people who are starting a new job,
Starting point is 00:27:00 or just finished year one of the job would 4 and 8 be like that's it we're fucking fed up and I really don't think year two has anybody in that category there are a couple exceptions I want to talk about who I think like maybe I mean it would be the same as last year it'd be the same record
Starting point is 00:27:19 let's get year one and then let's go to year two okay so so year one I think are the two biggest jobs that turned over Michigan and Alabama. I don't think Michigan would pull the plug on Sean Moore if they go four and eight and year one. A, because, like, they've given other coaches more rope than that early on. They themselves have just demonstrated the, what can happen.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Yes. Yes. If you actually believe you have the guy and put your faith in that guy and put the resources behind that guy. Also, he went, what, six and O last year? And a national... that's right i guess he would still be 10 and 8 over all those already they lost a ton of talent to the draft everybody like the vibes could not be higher right now for michigan fans like there's
Starting point is 00:28:10 no way they kick him out sort of some immense scandal yes this that that's that's the cover over all of this but like if they just go four and eight because the football team doesn't play very well i think he gets another year at least i'm not particularly worried about that no i agree all right here's holly i'm not sure how we're going to land on this but let's talk about kaelin before and eight kailen i have a short one okay alabama's board of trustees was embarrassed with the way this hiring process went um this this is not a dis i think he's a great coach kalan was not their first choice wasn't the probably wasn't their second
Starting point is 00:28:49 choice either i don't know that for a fact uh i know he was in the next i know that he was not their first choice. I think that after, and they are, like, regardless of having made what I think is a great hire for their program, they are embarrassed because, uh, they are Mr. and Ms. I meant to do that collectively. And if you fire Nick Saban's replacement after one year, do you know what people are going to compare you to? Auburn. I'm not really kidding. I agree. No, I, I 100% agree. It's funny, but I'm not really joking. Here is the argument that raises for me. They are Auburn.
Starting point is 00:29:28 They've just gone more football games than Auburn has. Oh, it tickles. Because here's the thing. Everyone is people. Everyone is the same. We're all Auburn. That's the big secret. Some of us have just root for teams that have won more football games.
Starting point is 00:29:41 If you just look at Alabama between Bear and Nick Sabin, and if you took all the labels on it, that is the real Auburn. Their baseline, absent the two great. as football coaches of all time is the same as everybody else. Just take the ones named Mike by themselves. You're running off coaches all the time and you're constantly in NCAA trouble? How are you not Auburn? Yeah, some of you young folks might not know, chaos, Bama.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Buckle up. Oh, my God. Looking at their schedule, if they win four games, if they win four games, they're beating WKU, USF, Vandy and Mercer. That means they're losing to Wisconsin, to South Carolina, to Auburn, to new guy Oklahoma I don't know I don't think it works
Starting point is 00:30:27 it would be quite bad the messaging would have to be so strong like Chris Lowe would have to be putting extra hours at the SEC factory they're just going to they're just going to move him in imagine how hard those kids hit that portal
Starting point is 00:30:44 that's a really good point that's not a bad Oh, my God. And where did they go, by the way? They're all staying in conference. Sure, yeah. They're going to Ole Miss. At this point, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Uh-huh. Thank you. Yes, they are. Yeah. On the year two list. The only two coaches... Wait, can I throw in one more year one? Because I just said, I just said nice things about him,
Starting point is 00:31:09 but I think it would be hilarious if Bill O'Brien got fired after year one at Boston College. I don't know why something about this is very funny to me. The quiz triggered Boston College. Yep. We don't play this shit at Boston fucking college. There's just, and I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:31:24 I said nice things about his tenure at Penn State and I meant them, but then there's everything that's happened sense. You take this shit back to the NFL. That's fair. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Of the year two coaches, the two that four and eight would be really tricky for. Luke Fickles, seven and six was I think, I think he pulled the plane out of the dive enough at the end of the season
Starting point is 00:31:46 that it's sort of like, okay, this is fine. But it wasn't, it wasn't especially fun for Wisconsin fans, especially because that hiring when it was made everybody was like, oh my God, this is like such a coup and such a, such a big change for the badgers.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Yeah, yeah. For me here would make me think that we're in for a Justin Fuenteying. Yeah, yeah. For me, way, we swore we were never going to, we swore we were never going to grade hires again, and then Luke Fickle got hired at Wisconsin. Yeah, that does happen.
Starting point is 00:32:10 No, I'm, I'm off that shit. I said Mac Brown's bad hire, and he's a bad hire. I'll grade every, I'll grade every hire I want. On a long enough argue, you will be proven right. That's your goddamn right. Matt Brown, you just wait. Just wait. He'll be bad.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Hugh Free, six and seven last year. I just want to note on Fickle that I think the shine of the higher could carry him through. I would also argue, again, realignment. Big Ten West is not a thing anymore. There's no more free wins. You have to actually do shit if you're a West team. So like it being hard for West teams for the next few years, I would argue for patience. No one listens to what I think, so they'll fire him.
Starting point is 00:32:47 I also don't know. I'm also curious to know if, and I don't know this at all, Wisconsin fans, just shout out, stand off in the comments, if Wisconsin has made any adjustments to their academic standards for athlete admission that bedeviled several of their past matches. I don't know that either. That's a good question, especially. On the top of my head, I don't, I don't know if, I do not know if changing any of that
Starting point is 00:33:11 was a contingency of Fickles higher. But then why did Brett Bilema end up at Academic Powerhouse, Illinois? We'll never know. The Harvard of Illinois. Waterfarmes this level, baby. I love that, Holly, you have just invited Big Ten fans to talk to you about their academics. I like, oh man, I'm going to, here I am, and I'm going to make myself regret this. I've never met a Wisconsin fan.
Starting point is 00:33:34 I didn't like. I'm looking forward to being proven out of that very quickly. Yeah. I think that's true. I know y'all will take care of that quickly. Wisconsin I also love because it's one of those places where I've been to a game in August and I've been to a game in November. and 12 degree lake effects snow. And it was a blast both times.
Starting point is 00:33:52 When we visited in February, they were replacing the grass with, they're putting sand underneath all of it for new turf. That'll be like, so it'll be like playable in December. But like walking into Wisconsin Stadium and seeing sand was like, wow, this is surreal.
Starting point is 00:34:06 The other tricky thing about Wisconsin, Wisconsin has not gone below 500 since 2001. Which means there are, There are a lot of, like, young Wisconsin fans who have never experienced anything close to four and eight. Like, yeah, they have seen dips and they have seen, like, ups and downs in the program. Didn't they have another one of those records, too, in the area of, like, most nine-win seasons? That's probably, I mean, they've made a bowl game every year since 2001.
Starting point is 00:34:37 And even that, that's a lot I'm thinking of, yeah. And even that was a blip where they had made one 96 through 2000 before that. This is not, like, some schools... Y2K hit that creamery hard. Some schools are accustomed to sort of like the roller coaster that is college football, and you sort of like, yeah, sometimes that happens. Wisconsin is not one of them. Wisconsin schedule, though.
Starting point is 00:34:59 I'm not trying to hex them, but it reminded me of thinking of the first year Tennessee missed a bowl for the first time and a similar time and thinking, wow, this is bad. And then everything else happened. And then everything unspooled from there. Yeah. Hugh Freeze went six and seven in his first year at Auburn. It is very funny to think still for me now,
Starting point is 00:35:24 and I'm sorry to Auburn fans who listen to the show. It's so, like, Hugh Freeze could have sent Nick Sabin out of the Iron Bowl with a loss and instead got the most bullshit play, the most bullshit touchdown run on them. It was almost like it was ordained. Oh, boy. Um, if the one thing I'll say for Auburn that they have successfully prepared themselves, if for some reason they go four and eight this year, it's their hosting cow.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Hugh Freeze and Auburn have done a very good job of messaging both to the fans and the media, that they don't like their quarterback situation at all, that they think they have corpses at quarterback and they're just trying to get through this year and find a better option in 2025. Their schedule is a cakewalk, though, for the SEC. The schedule is awesome. Like, it's loaded with really, Like, really, really hard games.
Starting point is 00:36:17 It's coo-key. And also games, you better fucking win. Like, four and eight, that means you're losing to one of Alabama, A&M, Cal, New Mexico, Vandy, or ULM. You're losing to one of those teams. Bye. And, like, when they lost New Mexico State last year, which we talked about it, Anasian. What? Which we talked about ad nauseum.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're thinking of the Hugh Freaks team at Liberty that lost to New Mexico. No, there was a sequel. just because it's a very popular sequel. And you'll never guess where the quarterback of that New Mexico State team has ended up now. I really won't.
Starting point is 00:36:54 He's Diego Pobmius at Vanderbilt University who are on his plane this year. Stop fucking Hugh Freeze. But, but like what still sticks out about that game was that New Mexico State did not like accidentally luck into that. It wasn't like, oh shit, the dealer busted by taking eight cards or stuff.
Starting point is 00:37:14 No, they just They ran all over them. Yeah. So, like, that list you gave, Jason, I'm not, I'm not convinced, like, there's no way Auburn can lose any of those teams. Hugh Freeze can do all things that are bad. That said, I think hiring Hugh Freeze was so fractious and unpleasant
Starting point is 00:37:34 that the people who pushed that through will be like, no, we're going to take our, we're going to keep taking this medicine. We'll never apologize. And if Auburn went four and eight this year, there would be some segment of, I'm not going to say Auburn media, but Auburn adjacent type media, that would definitely be like,
Starting point is 00:37:54 this is cancel culture. They're just, they're, this is it falling on a good, a good man. I'm so glad you're thinking about this, because I was just thinking about how MAGA could fit a whole number of A's in there.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Yes, yes. The one other, person who's not on the long term list and I don't think should be I think Davo can go four and eight and I don't think he gets fired I don't I think people will be very pissed
Starting point is 00:38:23 maybe I wouldn't rule that out Is he sick of all these kids getting paid? But I think Clemson I think Clemson looked good enough at the end of last year that if they go if he goes four and eight it's not automatically you're out you're done
Starting point is 00:38:39 I would put Dav for for good or ill i would put dabbo in with more in that i don't think he gets fired short of a massive scandal server yeah he's he's like locked in for life yeah like that like and and the other thing is like just remembering how it went with with tommy bowden being not just not good enough and just like letting it go for 10 years yeah the modern inventor of the sad field goal yeah yeah like i just, I don't think Clemson, I don't think Clemson has the stones to fire Dabber. You're right. There has not been, there has been generational turnover at the upper levels of Clemson, but not so much that they don't remember, like, how many different flavors of joke
Starting point is 00:39:27 they were, not that long ago. I also love that there's nobody there who could force him to actually use the transfer portal. So like, there's no real. If it falls apart, there's no hope. It's getting better. Imagine them, like, sitting him in front of it, like a kid trying to be fed with an airplane spoon. Dabbo, take a cornerback, take a receiver. No, no. He's all that he's up, like, the facilities will forever have his image everywhere, too. Like the 81 team was very much an anomaly of winning the national championship and
Starting point is 00:39:58 then like, and then got busted with huge probation stuff shortly thereafter. So it's not really an image that they can put out there to recruits and to, and to, as like, and their facilities, whereas the, like, Deshawn is the issue with the current generation. They, they will not, hopefully will not put his image up around for everyone, but especially when Trevor Lawrence is literally right fucking there. Todge Boyd is right fucking there. But, um, but like, mostly the Dabo era, there's nothing that they could, that they have to shy away from, uh, you know, so like, they also can't really, yeah, they can't, like, they can't afford to fire him or else like
Starting point is 00:40:41 what are they going to do to their facilities they're going to like take down every successful moment they've had in the last you know 20 years we can't fire we got to redecorate we got these these brocade curtains with his face screened in and and I don't
Starting point is 00:40:56 I don't say this to be denigrating I don't think Clemson is a kind of school that is like oh the program is bigger than the coach like automatically it's a B job. It's a B-borderline B-plus job. It's not an A-minus a plus job. It's not like, it's not, like, it's not hard. Dabbo has been successful because he is an was, and I'm not sure he gets traded out enough of a curve there, but he's like the only guy who succeeded in like straight up aping the Alabama model. Right. Yeah, like he goes into Georgia.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Georgia fans don't yell at me yeah but yeah like he goes into Georgia and he get does he get all the dudes absolutely not 100% no but he gets Trevor Lawrence he gets to Sean Watson like he does he get every dude from Florida no but he gets a lot of the dude he gets a lot of dudes from Florida South Carolina is an underrated state when it comes to talent so is North Carolina North Carolina has been the real struggle because Mac Brown is also really fucking good at this and you know it's not like this was difficult but he you know he's also fenced off South Carolina's talent pool from his major in-state rival, which is the flagship school. Yeah, like the big, when they couldn't get over the hump, it was because Mr. Football in South Carolina
Starting point is 00:42:17 was going to South Carolina every year. That's not happening, really. I think Mr. Football might have gone to South Carolina once or twice in the last few seats, like the last five or six years, but mostly like, yeah, they're winning those head-to-head battles for the most part, for the, for the, you know, mid-to-high four-star guys out of that state. Serbs, real quick, because it's hilarious. Can you explain to people who have not been to Clemson what you mean by the facility? They have to redo all the facilities. Yeah, they just built, like, this giant fucking indoor slide football facility, like, with,
Starting point is 00:42:50 and it's like when you walk in, all the image, or I haven't walked in there, but I've seen footage on stuff. Like, it's all the national championship years. It's all the ACC championship titles from now. Like, there's some Frank Howard stuff up there. Sure. There's some Danny Ford stuff in there. Like the program has been built, I don't want to say it this way, but it's been built in Dabba's image, right?
Starting point is 00:43:13 That's not, but I don't think that's an incorrect way to put it, though. It's correct, but Dava wouldn't like that wording. Yeah, he would say he wouldn't like that word. That's fair. Exactly. That's why I don't like saying it that way because I know secretly he would be very into it. He's a little bit chuffed. They can't.
Starting point is 00:43:30 He is so, he is so, so safe. Everybody knows how humble I am. Look at that. I didn't mean humility. I'm going to be yelled out of church if I don't say something about this. Right, right, right, right. Clemson's historically like a top third-year recruiter, and over the last four years, their fifth.
Starting point is 00:43:48 That is, maybe you don't need the portal. Who am I to say? All right, before we hop into our assembled cold seat list. One more two-year guy. Oh, please. Two more two-year guys. Okay. Look, we can split you up over two weeks.
Starting point is 00:44:02 It is impossible. It is impossible to talk about it. a coaching hot seat list without bringing up Scott Satterfield. Okay. If he goes four and eight, he would be following up
Starting point is 00:44:16 like the Luke Fickle era, one of Cincinnati's highest heights, by being Tommy Tuberville. A senator. Yes, our dumbest senator, which is a tough battle. But like,
Starting point is 00:44:31 the thing about Scott Satterfield is he's like quantum light, the act of putting him on a hot or cold seat list, automatically he is being observed and therefore he is going to win enough games to get him to a new job. This is the Saturdays.
Starting point is 00:44:44 This is the Saturdays what you view him through. Say his name and he will appear in Auburn rumors. I believe in Scott Satterfield. Bobby Petrito's like, did somebody say Candy Man? This is interesting because it does play into something that happens today. Big 12 media days are going on right now.
Starting point is 00:45:03 And already the commission of the Big 12 is starting the positioning job of what the conference is and according to break your remark the big 12 is the deepest conference in college football. Yeah it's like a slip like a diving pool said 12 what's the deepest pool you ever seen is
Starting point is 00:45:18 12 ain't it? And we got more. We got more than 12 this pool is a lie I don't remember yeah they're up to 16 sure sure yeah I believe you is that right 16 or 14 guys we're definitely going to get this right
Starting point is 00:45:35 at some point Oh, I'm saying that it doesn't matter. It's got to be 12. Don't want, you're right. It's on the list. No, it's 16 now. It's 16 now. So, like, I'm picturing you draw like a two and then you kind of go over it with a pin and you put a little, a little loop right there to make the six.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Make it a little six with a tail. Perfect plan. Um, I think, I think that the line will have to be like, well, look at the conference we play in. We've got all these like really, really competitive teams. I don't know that work. I don't know that would actually, like, looking at their schedule, like, when you no longer have Texas in Oklahoma, there is some truth to the depth and the overall competitiveness of the Big 12,
Starting point is 00:46:19 but, like, people aren't excited about losing to Houston, even if Houston, like, made a really good coaching higher and could be really good. Like, it's different flavor of things. Yeah, I think it'd be fair to put Scott Satterfield, especially just, like, with how he left, Louisville and how, like, unexcited. Well, you can, it's, it's fair to do the flip side of the everybody likes him argument. Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Just that nobody likes him. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah, I guess if you, if you made me, if you made me say, it's a bad hang. If you made me say who's getting fired at 4 and 8 this year, Luke Fickle or Scott Satterfield, I would definitely say Scott Satterfield. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Also Scott Satterfield.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Yeah. Holly mentioned Dion. I had Deion as like, he's on the cold seat, and that's hilarious. It goes four and eight. And he's, what, eight and 16 overall? And he's losing his built-in NFL prospect quarterback. He's losing Travis Hunter. And he's losing Travis Hunter.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Then, like, where's the hope in the, like, conference where every team is at least a C-plus going forward? You know, like, where you got to rebuild the roster every single year? proved nothing and your buyouts $15 million out of school that doesn't throw around that kind of money and like on the flip side you are the only reason anyone ever thinks about the Colorado Buffalo so like have fun yeah also playing North Dakota State in week one you fucking idiots that yeah that's less it I mean here's thank you's the thing thank you for us but I have decided that that's one they're going to win in part because North Dakota State is not this exact same thing they were five years ago.
Starting point is 00:48:06 That's fine. That's fine. But because, like, now we've sort of talked ourselves into Colorado's going to lose that game, and then they'll come out and, like, Travis Hunter will have, like, four touchdowns. And they'll be like, holy shit. Colorado's great. Oh, my God. And I'm sorry to do this again, but Ryan, and I know you said you didn't do this, take a candor
Starting point is 00:48:23 through Colorado schedule. Sure. I mean. It's, it's nasty. Okay. It's, it's not friendly. It is, it is a really tricky, like, all. I think this is...
Starting point is 00:48:36 Yeah, and a nice breather with Nebraska there in the second game. All of most Big 12 schedules, I think, are going to look this way. Because I look at it and I'm sort of like, okay, Baylor can be so many things over the course of the last four years. This is what I love about this Big 12. They've collected all these teams. They're like, ooh, weird shit's going to happen there. Gus Malzahn's UCF teams have, like, veered wildly from like, holy shit, they're like altering the trajectory of the conference to can't get out of their own way.
Starting point is 00:49:03 I have no idea what Arizona is going to look like going forward. Like Utah has been really good, but also like, it feels like a lot of weird, maybe not coin flips, but I don't know, I don't know what to make of most Big 12 schedules at this point. It feels like 13 straight weeks of playing Texas Tech at night. Yeah. And like, I think, I think the Big 12 is accurately describing like the competitive nature
Starting point is 00:49:36 of the conference. I think it would be a stretch to say like, and therefore they're going to put two teams in the college football playoff or something like that. And you know, in that teams could play, and that teams could turn in unexpected performances and equally likely that the reflips the coin and it turns into a handful of scorpion.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Before we, there's just there's like, there's just so many spooky vibes teams in here now. Yes. Yes. That's right. That's right. Before we jump into our cold seat list, should we stop and do a little podcast business right as Jason dropped off the call.
Starting point is 00:50:09 Here he comes back. Serber, sing a song. In French. Podcast business. All right. Podle business. Good idea. Let's do that. There's le business.
Starting point is 00:50:23 For the podcast, yeah. Water the soil with the blood of your enemies. Monvelociped. Okay. Legrippetto on the tarmac. Ballon. Holly, I believe you have the honors since Spencer is in fucking Mongolia right now.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Folks, this weekend we marked the three-year anniversary of our inexplicably existing newsletter, known as Channel 6. You can subscribe to it for $10 a month, for $100 a year, or for free and just get random newsletters whenever we feel like sending them. and we're just we put up a post that you don't even have to sign up for your email to read yesterday you can go and read it at channel dash 6.ghost.io just about some of our favorite stuff we've done over the past three years how grateful we are to have y'all as bosses and not our previous bosses and Spencer is currently in Mongolia learning to hunt with giant Eagles, which is y'all's fault because your subscription dollars paid for him to do that. If you want us to keep doing stuff like this, come on and sign up for a subscription.
Starting point is 00:51:37 We'd love to have you. It's a very good time. I'm not making a convincing argument there because I'm genuinely happy, and that means I don't know what to say. No, and if you don't believe us, just go look at, like, Twitter or Blue Sky and people talking about how happy they are to spend money on Channel 6, how they don't regret it, in a time full of regrets. Why not give your money to something you won't? Channel 6. It's we keep every year when we hit this point and I'm waiting for it and you know the yearly subscriptions roll over and I'm
Starting point is 00:52:08 sitting there looking at the I look at the ticker this one day a year and I'm sitting there waiting for it to just fall off a cliff and it doesn't like it just it just keeps it keeps ticking. We've experienced 36 months of very slow incremental growth and like like we like to tell people in real life, it's not fuck you money, but it's fuck you Voss money. Boy, do I love not working for somebody
Starting point is 00:52:36 who asked me where I went to prep school. Passing the baton. French words. All right, let's do, let's do live shows next. I will preface this. You can find out the ticket links and all of that if you go to pre-owned airboats.com.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Let's start. We have the July live show coming up in Portland, tickets are no longer available. I think it's funny that every time we, like, I guess go for FOMO by like, hey, folks. Well, no, here's the only reason. Too fucking bad. The only reason I wanted to bring it up is because we did decide since we released last episode, the topic of the show of the shows, which is workplace disasters.
Starting point is 00:53:20 Because space is a workplace. Space is the ultimate workplace. If you want to submit a workplace disaster, email it. to shutdownfulcast at gmail.com. I'm going to say you have until the end of this week. This is coming out on July 10th. You have until Friday to send it in. And then we're going to cut it off.
Starting point is 00:53:38 Again, email it if it's on Twitter or somewhere else. Do not confess crimes. We might laugh at it, but we're not going to see it. I don't know. You can maybe confess a crime. I don't know what statute of limitations is depending on the topic. Maybe put less drunk driving in here than you did in the indie show. I think that's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:53:56 I think that is. drunk working is legal yes 100% um ben franklin said so i'm pretty sure um our greatest president uh that's true usual advice uh the best stories tend to be the shortest stories although if you have a really good long story you can send it in but like you better believe in it if you think i would say like be harsh with the word count but don't go crazy with yeah yeah like if you give us five words they better open up a universe of possibilities yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes It better make Ernest Hemingway think, God damn it, I suck. We will say that the stories that have been long and funny,
Starting point is 00:54:36 if it's not of a dad-a, dad-B caliber, you need to cut it down. That's right. I think that's a good guiding light. After that, in August, we will be at the sports podcast festival in Raleigh with the OGs, with hand in the dirt. Tickets are still available for that. server i'm going to get with you later because i'm planning some secret merch that will make stephen hartsell not feel good about hand of the dirt um and then in october
Starting point is 00:55:07 we're going to birmingham is that right jason you know the most that's right we sure should are october 3rd in association with furnace fest we're doing music disasters hold on sending in those disasters we got to get through workplace disasters first um let that beat build but uh we start sending in the disasters I don't know let's get through we'll let you know when I just said
Starting point is 00:55:29 I just said I don't know we'll find out you said hold on but I keep on you're doing great buddy you're doing really great I'm really really proud of you for holding
Starting point is 00:55:38 what if I miss it oh I'm sorry you missed it you just missed it oh shit it was just now you shouldn't have been paying attention I mean you're you're like I think most of the disasters are like marching marching band disasters
Starting point is 00:55:50 y'all are great at standing in one place for like six hours before it's your time to shine me it's important that your show is about me this is this you're gonna you're gonna fucking nail this they're all about you they're all about you we're all gonna laugh at you this is uh this show is gonna be fucking awesome yeah tickets for that and for the raleigh show pre-owned aerovotes dot com we're excited to see everybody in portland at the planetarium michael server yes i do have an update oh good ralee show because we have mentioned several times that on the website it says like one or two people one or two o'clock yeah i think um
Starting point is 00:56:24 The first podcast will start at 6 o'clock. I've learned this. So this will be an evening affair, can confirm. We thought that, but we didn't know for sure. But the OGs will kick things off at 6 o'clock in Raleigh on August 24th. And if you want to come see Killer Ants, we're playing the night before in Winston-Salem on Friday night at Hoots and West End Winston-Salem. It's about a two-hour drive from Raleigh. So obviously, if you're on your way via 40 East, it would be on your.
Starting point is 00:56:54 way. Please do not make a two-hour trip. Do! Yes! Do it! Do it! To Raleigh! Challenge accepted. To our show at Winston-Salem. Don't show your love for server, whatever you do. I'm going to steer an airport shuttle and whoever wants to drive down from Raleigh and straight back is welcome to.
Starting point is 00:57:12 We're going to get a fucking bus. I think there is a bus. I think part will take you. Get on the bus. Come to our show. I think it's going to be the first show ever at Hoots. We're playing with a band with a couple of members of Code 7 in it. So if you like hardcore music. Code 7.
Starting point is 00:57:26 If you know who that is, you better be at Furnace Fest with us. You better be a fucking furnace fest. You already are. It's going to be a cool show. And we're also, we just did a show this past weekend, which we recorded, and we're going to be releasing a live EP
Starting point is 00:57:40 before the summer. Live at the Flat Iron. So if we steal a bus, will you play the bus on the way to the show? Yes, I'll play the bus on the way to the show. Holly, EP. We play the wheels on the bus. Yes. As they go round and round.
Starting point is 00:57:53 an EP is an extended play. It's like the, it typically would be printed on like a seven inch record, um, or a 10 inch instead of the full vinyl. And it would have like four to six songs on it instead of being a full LP long player. Thanks, buddy.
Starting point is 00:58:08 You're welcome. Um, all right. Podcast business rules on. But maybe by the time you listen to this, maybe a little later on Wednesday, the second, uh, article in assigned the new substack I am doing with the help of, uh,
Starting point is 00:58:20 our buddy Martin Rickman. Um, will come out. It's about Madison Square Garden and the War of 1812 and how if the latter had gone differently, the former might be named something, uh, something differently entirely. So that's, that's all I'll give you for me. Wait, I didn't know it was that Madison. Oh, it's not Madison. Like, without getting to spoiler, yes, it's Billy Madison Square Garden. Uh, without getting to spoilery. Mr. President, I'm still horny. Madison Square Garden is, I can't even fit the answer.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Never one. In 2024, it still goes. Oh. All right. Go to assigned. com. The articles are free to read.
Starting point is 00:59:09 If you want to vote on which ones I do, which columns I write, you pay for that. Or if you just want to pay to support the writing, so me and Martin can keep doing what we're doing. That would be appreciated. uh jason i assume i assume i assume audiobook is is wrapped and done and ready to go and fucking up on napster and limewire right now oh that's a great fucking idea we got to put this
Starting point is 00:59:36 shit we got to find napster server and i are finishing it up yes master dot biz yeah server and i are finishing it up uh we're uh we got some guitar tracks to lay i'm playing the guitar of course. Livewire.net is available. Floyd, get on it. My daughter is doing the cover art for the audiobook version. Oh, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Hell yes. Dog, let me tell you, like when I say that, you're probably picturing some cutesy crayon shit. No. No, we're not. Act like you fucking know.
Starting point is 01:00:07 This is the shit I, like, originally dreamed, and I, and like, I was like, ah, let's go less weird. Nah, for the audiobook, we're going weird. You're picturing a shark on a stand-up paddleboard with the head of a dog.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Weirder. Angel wings. Okay, good, good. Weirder than that. And as far as when it'll be out, the goal is before college football season. That's the goal. So in theory,
Starting point is 01:00:32 people might be able to go to Raleigh, drive to Winston-Salem to see Killer Ans, listen to the audiobook on the way there and back, and then go to the Raleigh podcast festival. Yeah, that's a four-hour trip. That's four hours you can get through, a lot of it. A lot about parisocial relationships.
Starting point is 01:00:49 but if you do that, I think we're actually related. Yeah, that seems fair. You're my friend now if you do that for sure. I'm going to stay at my house. That is a lot of Serber's work. That's right. That's right. You are Surer's cousin at that point.
Starting point is 01:01:06 All right, that concludes podcast business. Without further ado, the shutdown podcast, 24, 25, cold seat list. This is in some order, but it is subject to- one of those fucking big game boomer graphics absolutely absolutely uh this is you agree this is how do you feel question i love i love how do you feel about the mildest tics possible um these guys are probably fine uh so so this is this is somewhat of an order i am willing to discuss it but i'm also not that one to the order except for the first one the FBS coach who I think could most survive a four and eight year is UMass's Don Brown
Starting point is 01:01:54 because four and eight would be an improvement over last year and they haven't won four games since 2018 you mentioned I think absolutely if UMass goes four and eight Don Brown doesn't get fired I'll go ahead and stake my terrible reputation on it right here right now can I throw a couple other guys in with this tier yes absolutely um jor morehead at akron four and eight would double each of its first two seasons there that's correct so like the same logic basically um rich rod uh no no he doesn't fit this tier he doesn't fit this tier he's won way too many games but i'm gonna add him to the cold list though can i put one in that i stuck at the bottom yeah timmy chang sure yeah yeah i think he goes in this tier yeah that would be fine i think that would that that makes sense absolutely i'm gonna advocate enough man come on yeah
Starting point is 01:02:42 In this year, I would consider Clark Lee. I don't know if that's true. So, Vandy, their firing line, is, like, worse than four and eight for multiple seasons in a row. Yeah, I guess what I would say is if Clark Lee went four and eight, I wouldn't confidently say, oh, he's coming back. He might. He might survive. Did you think he gets fired before the stadium's done? Oh, boy, that's a, that's an unbearable reason.
Starting point is 01:03:09 I know that's an open-ended question. This will now be the fun one to track. I now have an investment in Sandy's record. This is our Liz Truss Lettuce. Uh-huh. Like this is, this is, Ryan, we're betting fried chicken on this, okay? Okay, all right. If Fandy goes four and eight.
Starting point is 01:03:24 Which, okay, if Fandy goes four days. Because I think he stays. I think he stays. This is a little bald head with like a wrecking ball chain coming out of it, just I, I, I think Jason's, I think Jason's logic is sound. I just could see four and eight being a like, listen, we just fired our basketball, we just fired our men's basketball coach. we just watched Tennessee win a baseball title like we've we've put a lot of money into
Starting point is 01:03:49 facilities and into athletics and like we can't go four and eight but it you're it's not a disaster so you're you raise a good point you also got your stupid chins caved in in baseball by Tennessee a lot during the regular season before they won the world series also vaguen Vegas has them at three and nine okay so I guess all right all right maybe I'm maybe I'm being too harsh on the hometown, clerkly. Maybe, uh, maybe this is climate zones. Okay, okay. Yeah, sure, sure.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Um, Kirby Smart number two. Kirby smart can go four and eight and not get fired. Like, it'll, you'll get prayed for, but yeah. And you just like, you ever just want to, in your Kirby and you just like feel the urge to take a year off? Like, not all, not off, but like, everybody goes home on Thursday night for a year. I think we've made our point. Like, come on fellas, let's coast. We decided to go, we only called one running play all year.
Starting point is 01:04:41 Fuck you. You thought we were nothing but Stetson Bennett. Number three, Kennesaw State head coach Brian Bowhannon has had a very good run with the owls. It's their first year in FBS. Like that's the primary logic there. You can go four and eight,
Starting point is 01:05:01 your first year moving to FBS. I'm not saying Kennesaw State will. Lots of teams have made the jump from FCS to FBS and done great in their first year. Rich Rod did it with Jacksonville State. JMU obviously like it's it's not a guarantee but I think like if you if you have a down year your one is probably fine Vegas has us at two and ten yes we'll we'll take yeah yeah yeah uh number four Jason Candle at Toledo who has just like go if you
Starting point is 01:05:32 haven't go look at Jason Candle's record at Toledo it's it's quite good relentless it's quite good he is 65 and 35 over it's really eight years um because there's a there's a one year where he just was the interim coach for the bowl game um this is time for me once again to renew also my my assertion that if you have a time in your schedule in a year and take a mac trip this is the one this is the one to do um pick a game pick a game on the schedule go to hang on give me okay okay you don't you don't have toledo schedule up around the clock what's your home age. I'm confused. This is
Starting point is 01:06:15 a monologue that I have done previously before on the show, but Toledo Stadium, the Glass Bowl, is a lot of fun. The fans are, and I say this with a con, I say this as with brackets affectionate. The fans are mean as shit. They are so much fun to watch
Starting point is 01:06:31 a game with. You will make a lot of friends in the stadium as long as you are rooting for Toledo. Toledo doesn't play on Saturday after November 2nd. Their last three games are Tuesday, Wednesday, Tuesday. It's called keeping the Sabbath, right? Yeah, that's right. Go up early when it's
Starting point is 01:06:47 blazing fucking hot down wherever we live and like, you know, watch them play Duquesne or something. This schedule's awesome. This is like almost Liberty Grade easy. Good for them. Shit, man, they're at Western Kentucky. Oh, no, they're at Western Kentucky. Boo.
Starting point is 01:07:02 There, I'm going to take it. Miami, Ohio, at Toledo. Great pick. Great pick. I can't go because we'll be at Furnace Fest, but y'all should go. Candle is also like 45. So like, it's not even like, oh, he's lost his fastball or whatever. Like, no. Jason. He could be there 30 more years. Yeah. Yeah. Um, number five, Kansas is Lance Leopold. Like, yeah. It, it, a, it wasn't that long ago. What's he doing at five? I guess is my,
Starting point is 01:07:31 yeah, it was long ago, four and eight was awesome there. Yeah, it's probably, it's probably, that, that might, like, we can quibble about like, if he should be higher on this list, but he belongs very high on this list. 4 and 8 would be a down year since there's like dark horse heisman talk and there is sort of a like well the pig 12 is wide open so maybe this is when kansas makes run 4d8 would be disappointing it would not be we're fire like no after what kansas has been through attempting to hire football coaches over the last decade that not a chance of every coach is just like who the fuck do you think you are yeah yeah um right in this next one i uh i think i disagree Okay. I have Mike Norvell at six. Because I think Mike Norvell has already successfully weathered the... Yeah, what the fuck would they fire him for at this point? He has successfully weathered the FSU bad years. Like, he's shown that, like, he's... He weathered the MLK situation. Not a phrase you ever want appended to your Wikipedia page, MLK controversy. Um, I think in a lot of... I think in a lot of... I think in a lot of...
Starting point is 01:08:40 lot of like key stakeholders minds he he made the playoff last year i know that's not what happened but i think they look at it and they're basically like yeah undefeated florida state made the playoff last year and ESPN took it from them that's what happened and therefore if he has a down year again after sending a bunch of talent to the draft i think he can probably get through four and eight i think it immediately changes the tenor and i think 2025 is a hoot yeah but i i i am pretty confident a four and eight year, Mike Norvell is this gets back to the well-liked thing. I get the sense that like with it from the people that matter and just like Florida State fans, Mike Norvell is pretty well-liked at this point.
Starting point is 01:09:23 And that will buy you a lot. He's basically in the mothership for people who had cornrows in college. I would say, Ryan, a key thing you said there was like he essentially made the playoff according to stake, you know, in the minds of key stakeholders. Yeah. There's a key word that it would be good for him if it were there, but it's not. That would be rational stakeholders because the last time I saw Florida State play football, they were not in the playoff.
Starting point is 01:09:53 They were not in the postseason. They were barely in the Orange Bowl. That's true. Out of five years, one was a rebuild that looked even worse than it had to. One was confusingly terrible, and then this one would be confusingly terrible. their expectations this year are like 10 and 2 oh it would yeah and and this is where no I'm not gonna qualify it too much
Starting point is 01:10:18 I was gonna say like 4 and 8 for some teams it's 4 and 8 because everybody got hurt and I think that buys you some but like across the board I do think Mike Norvel has like the emotional equity built up emotional boy that's another keyword with because they fucking do shit right
Starting point is 01:10:35 they get mad at shit they start they'll fucking sue him before they fire him right so i think one thing i'm counting on here is florida state's um temperament yeah the one thing we can't know and the one the factor i haven't added in here what happens if florida state goes four and eight and miami makes the playoff and florida wins nine games and u s f is eight and four yes yes yes yes like what happens then that's a little trickier to figure out um Okay, number seven. It's like putting a bunch of mintoes in a diet Coke bottle that's going to be responsible for picking the next president and shaking it.
Starting point is 01:11:14 If Miami wins the ACC and you go four and eight. Well, unfortunately, Holly's just spoiled what the plan is at the Democratic National Convention. Number seven, Dan Lanning can go four and eight and not get fired from Oregon. Yeah, he'd have to update his tattoo. We can't make the man do that. I am fine if you want to put Dan Lanning above Mike Norvell. but yeah i'd say that yeah okay um number eight and this was a weird one but like we haven't been
Starting point is 01:11:42 we haven't been very nice to missou on this show over the years and i think i think it is worth noting how good missouri was last year they're also recruiting pretty well right now and there i i think there would be a hesitation to hire to fire eli drinkwitz if he went four and eight after just finishing with a top 10 season beating Ohio State in the Cotton Bowl yes it would be bad
Starting point is 01:12:10 yes it would be frustrating but like overall I think Missou fans are happy and also just like I don't get the sense that Missouri is a place where one bad year and you're done like Gary Pinkel went 5 and 7
Starting point is 01:12:27 his first year in the SEC and then the next two years they won the East like I I he he had bad years before that like it doesn't feel like a knee jerk type thing again it will be immediately is Eli Drinkwood's the right man for this job blah blah blah but I think he could go for and Aton and not get fired yeah I had the other point in his favor there I think would be last year wasn't just like a fluke top 10 team yes it was legit top 10 team yeah like they they they push Georgia on the road two years in a row like the team that did yeah just about um so yeah i think ely drink was to go for an eight cold seat number nine jeff trailer this there is one tricky thing here i think i'm looking through this is our first coach in texas and i do think the texas of it all can complicate things i think it's the groundwater i mean there's a little bit of that jeff
Starting point is 01:13:31 has done very well and you know it seemed like he came very close to getting the Texas A&M job um but I don't know can you can you go for any at UTSA after the season that they had and it just be like that's fine we're not happy but we'll let you stick around I think so yeah yeah I the only thing for me is all the teams in the new AAC where the degree of difficulties go down a lot yeah means the standard goes up for all those teams all right so we'll we'll go go ahead and play the schedule game for UTSA this year. Like, I think he's safe, but to me that would be the worry factor.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Um, they do, all right. So they do play Texas. So if you wanted to say that was one. Um, but yeah, oh, okay. Yeah. To go four and eight, you're playing, you're playing Kennesaw State. Again, new FBS team, Texas State, who had a good year last year, but historically has not been particularly strong. Um, you are playing Houston Christian. I believe. that's an fcs team east carolina who's been real up and down fayu tulsa they have not been especially competitive lately rice memphis is probably an acceptable loss um north texas and then and then temple and army yeah four and eight would be fourn eight would be hard to it would be hard to sort of pull out big positives this conference is now like the big 12 right the big 12 every team is like it could lose to this conference every team is like, you probably shouldn't lose it.
Starting point is 01:15:03 It's the noise that Larry David makes in that GIF. We have Big 12 at home. Number 10, maybe higher, maybe lower. And maybe not on this list at all. Can Matt Campbell go four and eight? I like this one a lot. I think it's going to be funny either way. This is one of those ones that's funny no matter what happens.
Starting point is 01:15:22 This is one where like, he's just there, man. It's still there, huh? And like, there's no real reason to get rid of him. Went 4 and 8 in 2020. came back and did not look promising early, but like made a push where it was like briefly, oh, Iowa State is in the weird math of who will play in the Big 12 championship game.
Starting point is 01:15:45 This is another one where it's just like basically all of their bull wins under one coach. It's like him and Dan McCarney, and that's it. So I think he's, I think he would probably be safe, but, and maybe this is to Holly's point, to what end? If you fire Matt Campbell, what are you doing after that?
Starting point is 01:16:05 We're finding another guy in this lifetime who's going to be that gun-fucking hoe about Iowa State. This feels to me, it's like similar to the Kansas and Wake things where like there are probably Iowa State fans who have sort of younger Iowa State fans who've sort of forgotten Iowa State's baseline.
Starting point is 01:16:23 Like Kansas fans, you all remember because it was very recent. But like Iowa State fans that are probably some who look at Iowa and think like, well, shit, we should be winning a few more games per year. But, like, no, this is as good as it gets.
Starting point is 01:16:37 So you better hang on to him. Aim low. Number 11. What happens if PJ Fleck goes four and eight at Minnesota? He's a fun to look at because it's like, he hadn't done much, need to look it up. And it's like, wow, nine wins, nine wins, 11 wins. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:53 I mean, granted in the West, but still. Yeah. He did, I think, the absolute last thing anybody expected him to do when he took that job, which is, A, stay at that job, B, get them to a fairly lofty plateau of success and just keep them there? And be quiet about it. Like, when's the last time you heard B.J. Flex say something insane. Yeah. I haven't heard him say anything.
Starting point is 01:17:20 He's not a fucking football coach, but he's wearing a fucking football coach mask. Like, I don't even remember if he came up at all in the last carousel. I don't think so. Not in the way that he has in years past, certainly. Which, and there's always, well, there's always the geographical consideration with him, because he's got, like, four real little kids. Mm-hmm. Like, he's got, like, a, not like a Luke fickle-sized brood, but close.
Starting point is 01:17:44 And, uh, moving, moving all those around is, uh, that's a lot. Yeah. Um, they have, they have a weird early schedule. They play UNC at home. I think that's at home. I don't think that's at the Viking Stadium. But it's in, or no,
Starting point is 01:18:03 it is at the Viking Stadium. They play UNC. They play Iowa and Michigan all before you get to October. Yikes. So like. Well, we'll find out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:21 Of course, they could, you know, they could, looking at the back half of the schedule, they could, they could do. almost anything, almost any
Starting point is 01:18:31 configuration with those first games and then basically disappear sure until, until bowl season. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that said, like things have gone smoothly smoothly enough at Minnesota, at least in the win-loss column
Starting point is 01:18:47 that, yeah, I think PJ Fleck, I wouldn't put him super, like, top of the list here, but I think Forney, more likely than not, he doesn't get fired. And as what was once the most vibes-based coach in America by a long shot, he has not put himself publicly in the position to like annoy his way out of a job. Um, the rest of this list from this point on is where I am not even sure this, these people belong on the list. Number 12, just like in the AP top 25 is where
Starting point is 01:19:18 we start to fall completely the pieces. Go ahead. Kick us, kick us off here and where things get weird. Oh, I don't think this one's weird at all. Okay. I mean, you could, I think you could, I think you could have put him up with his in-state rival uh chris climbing chris climin at kansas state i that's the pop tarts bowl champion you're that's true that's true um i 4 and 8 is just a really bitter pill to swaddle i don't think it's being reductive to put him up with lance either i wouldn't put him that high um just because the like historical standard at k state is higher okay yeah that's fair and and it's also it's tricky because like, while Chris Kleiman has certainly done, had good years, they aren't, he hasn't done that, he hasn't gotten quite to the Bill Snyder level of a good year. Like there hasn't been a, oh, we are pushing
Starting point is 01:20:11 into the top 10 consistently. Um, there hasn't been a we are in the conversation to be in the playoff. That may change this year. Obviously. I'm not sure. I'm not sure which. Yeah, that's true. I'm quite on, but let me make this, let me make this argument just to make it. Does, you know, after the, after the first end of the Bill Snyder era, the second end of the Bill Snyder era, and everything we know about replacing a coach with decades of experience and their name on buildings, is, is Kleinman's success to date? not a miracle, but enough of a miracle against that historical backdrop to still have a kind of glow about it. I think it has, yes, I think it has, yes.
Starting point is 01:21:08 That's kind of what I was thinking when I was thinking put him up with Lance. I think it has value. There have been no craters. I think it has value. I think the challenging thing is that I look at, and this is just hypothetical, I look at Kansas State as a school that is looking at the new big 12 and it's like, we should run this. shit. Or we should be one of the two or three schools that run this shit. We have the overall track record. I don't know a lot about K-Sate's administration. Sure. That's fair. I don't know what their university position is on this. But I think the challenge in, the challenge with going
Starting point is 01:21:43 four and eight in this version of the big 12 is you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have anything in the four that would clearly counteract the eight. Like you couldn't, you don't have the opportunity to like beat Oklahoma and change the emotional feel of the whole season anymore. Like they all, they're all going to feel the same. And for that reason, the wins are not going to mean as much as the losses in some ways. I would say,
Starting point is 01:22:10 I would say, I mean, I would say he's safe based on what he's done. I would also, the K-State factor for me is your greatest coach was there for about a thousand years. Right. Like you, they're not in the firing business. case it is geological like you got to be ron prince bad year after year right yeah yeah i mean so
Starting point is 01:22:33 ron prince went seven and six five and seven five and seven so this would be if you went four and eight you would do something ron prince never did you'd be in that zone but it would be uh his first bad non-covid season yeah as it's eight and better yeah i think yeah okay i feel fine i feel fine leaving all right so maybe it's below chris climbing where i'm not sure mike locksley goes forward and eight at Maryland. I truly don't know what would happen at this point. Let's see. Hang on. Let me, let me, let me check the most important. That would be 24-7 recruiting rankings. Where is Maryland? Because if it's a, let's see what this number is, uh, 26, you're fine. He's fine. He's fine. Okay. Okay. That's easy. Problem solved.
Starting point is 01:23:18 All right. I'm going to admit it again. This is the point where I'm not sure we go. Here we go. Number 14. I found Ron Prince on LinkedIn. What's he doing? Well, do you remember where we last saw Ron Prince? I honestly, no. Not at all. Being placed on leave for verbal abuse and intimidation of his players at Howard in 2019.
Starting point is 01:23:42 Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. I forgot about that. So I had to Google, where is Ron Prince now? Mm-hmm. Operating member. I love this name so much that I love this name so much that I hope he made it up.
Starting point is 01:23:57 Boss and Bull Business Solutions. Ron, please sponsor this podcast. Number 14, on the cold safest. Boss and bull. I think, and even saying it makes me doubt it, I think Lane Kiffin could go four and eight and not get fired at Old Miss. Oh, that's the biggest blinkingest for who sign
Starting point is 01:24:25 there is. It is also like one of the things that Lane Kiffin has done Layne might really take a year off. That is a real danger. I have often... I said it about Kirby.
Starting point is 01:24:35 He might do it. I kind of tend... This isn't necessarily fair, but I kind of... I feel like I can flate Penn State and Ole Miss a lot in terms of like you're really good at like
Starting point is 01:24:45 winning the games you're supposed to and then when it's like, it's the CBS game of the week. Ole Miss, Alabama, and you've already lost my 17. God damn it. I love how they're both going to hate that comparison. That's totally fair.
Starting point is 01:24:57 They will. They will. That's a great, Ryan. But Lane has done a much better job of developing a cult of internal personality at Old Miss than James Franklin has at Penn State. He's got way more memes. What an amazing sentence. That also happens to be true.
Starting point is 01:25:14 I also think one of the key differences between Penn State and Ole Miss is that, like, Penn State does have, I think, a mostly rightly earned. expectation of this is the stratosphere we should exist in within college football. And there are plenty of Ole Miss fans who know, like, no, we can be absolute dog shit. We can be a terrible team in the SEC. And we have had coaches, they have had coaches they liked before who did that roller coaster, who were like, oh, cool, we almost won the SEC this year. What?
Starting point is 01:25:46 We went three and nine in the next year. That's crazy. Let's go back to the Grove. Hugh Freeze is their most stable coach of the last 20 years. I think that's maybe what makes them cling to lane like a wire monkey. Mm-hmm. Like the wire mother? There's also like...
Starting point is 01:26:02 They still have half the student body meaning for him after he openly stumps for jobs. Yeah. Yeah. But then he doesn't take the job. That like, him not taking the... Dad's home. Him not taking the Auburn job, I think, like, probably worked out for him in a while. He's got the whole family.
Starting point is 01:26:18 I had that wrong, by the way. Last time I talked about this on the air, I thought that there was an Auburn booster faction that shot it down. I had that backwards. so this will probably be their highest preseason ranking in like a decade what is it it's not out yet but it probably will be preseason expectations about 10 and 2
Starting point is 01:26:40 they had one would be a crater but his first yeah sure I think you know and like honestly he could just post his way through it like you say he like he has them around his finger like acting as if they are in on the joke um and everyone likes to feel as if they are in on the joke so i don't know as long as he says some funny shit they'll be fine
Starting point is 01:27:03 there there is also and and maybe we make too much of this but like there's a real difference if you're four and eight and you beat mississippi state and four and eight you lost to him like it will just taste different so but i i feel fine leaving him on this list number 15 i think So this is one where, like, it's hard for, this is one where I do want to get into the hypothetical of it, because I think, I definitely want to get into this one. I think Steve Sarkesian has, has put Texas on a positive enough trajectory that he could go for an eight, and I'm not like, they're absolutely canning his ass tomorrow. Like, I'm not, yeah, yeah, because here's the, here's the beauty of this one. Here's the beauty of this one. either version, either outcome for this is hysterical.
Starting point is 01:27:54 So the one thing I can't wrap my head around is how do you go for, like when you go four and eight, what happens with the Ewers Manning situation? How did that go? Like how did you go four and eight? Yeah, they're both gone after, but how did you get there before? Right.
Starting point is 01:28:14 Like what did that look? What did that four and eight journey look like during the season? How did you manage that? Because I'm assuming. Let's game the same. out. I'm assuming you had a pretty shitty quarterback experience if you lost eight games in Texas. I'm assuming that you
Starting point is 01:28:27 burned, that you burned a red shirt for no good reason on a really early gamble and lost. I mean because you can like Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, there, week two. Yeah. Who's week two? Michigan.
Starting point is 01:28:43 Oh. Pulling yours that early in the year and immediately causing a quarterback conversation. Here we go. And I'm not wishing this but it's happened before how about mid third quarter at michigan putting in arch and getting him hurt that would be terrible getting him pulling him pulling him in a knee-jerk reaction in a september game and getting arch hurt yeah i mean like the tricky part about this is that so sark went five and seven is first year um charlie strong had a couple of five and seven years mac
Starting point is 01:29:15 brown had a five and seven year you have to go back to nineteen ninety seven when we didn't even play 12 games in a regular season to find a four-win Texas team. Texas is, Texas has, and I think, Jason, you've written about this in the past, Texas tends to get overrated. Folks, we have some breaking news also. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, what? Uh, two hours ago. Oh, our arch manning is in the game.
Starting point is 01:29:42 Yeah. Oh, okay. Which is a, it's a great way to avoid attention, join the game all by yourself. Yeah. Thank God. The, um, oh, this is so sad. His announcement has Eli. in it.
Starting point is 01:29:53 God, Arsh, love yourself. The thing about their schedule is 4 and 8, that means you're very likely going 1 in 7 in your brand new conference. Yes.
Starting point is 01:30:03 Yes. That's, yeah, the SEC of it is really bad. Yeah. With no chance to establish that you're better than Bama because you don't play. 4 and 8 is,
Starting point is 01:30:12 so 4 and 8 is wins over Colorado State, UTSA, and ULM. And that means you are losing to some combination of Mississippi State. Oh, my God. Mississippi State, Red River, Georgia, Vandy, Florida, Arkansas, Kentucky.
Starting point is 01:30:32 And, oh, what are they playing in that last week there? Okay. Hear me out. There's a funnier scenario than Texas going four and eight. Mm-hmm. And that is Texas going into November 30th at A&M with five wins. Or you know if they're not rivals or this would be a big deal. We didn't talk about Mike Elko on the one-year list
Starting point is 01:30:58 because I do think he can go four and eight this year. Mostly because I think everybody hated Jimbo so much by the end he could just put all of the blame on him. Yeah. But I would not advise it. I would not Mike Elko, if you're listening, don't go four and eight this year. That's a bad plan.
Starting point is 01:31:14 No, I'm talking about Texas going into A&M having four or five ones. Right. God. I yeah the more we're talking about this like I just gonna win the title game and people are gonna play this episode where we go I think if well if if Texas went four and eight which I don't think they're going to but I cannot imagine like I cannot imagine like how how miserable that Texas offseason will look like
Starting point is 01:31:43 because we're used to like bad Texas offseason because they only won eight games not because they lost eight games Ooh, that's a different flavor. Like, that would be, that would maybe be so, maybe what it is is this. Four and eight would be so poisonous to Sark that he wouldn't get fired that year, but it's just like, when will this poison kick in and take hold? It will happen at some point. When was Texas's last season of that ilk?
Starting point is 01:32:10 It's McAvex last year. Yeah, there's another program with a high floor. Yeah, like, it's just not a thing that happens. The last name we have on our cold seat list, 16 coaches in total. Gus Malzon can go four and eight at UCF. I put that in there. Okay, I would like to hear this case because I'm not sure I agree with it. It's the same answer.
Starting point is 01:32:35 For what? That's the logical answer, though. Yeah, I mean. Okay, I don't think, are we conflating UCFs online with UCF's administration? I don't think so when their AD is out here. here acting like the most online of them all the time yeah yeah i mean like their first two years in the power conference that they clamored for for a decade if they have two losing seasons in their first two years they're going to try and hire bill bellichick or something there's that's see
Starting point is 01:33:04 that's the maybe that's the disconnect i'm seeing because they're so fucking lucky to have gus and i'm not sure they know that that's what i thought about auburn though yeah i people love firing I think Gus Mousin at UCF is like maybe a perfect example of like I have no idea what would happen in a bad season. I can see it going either way. I'm not confident four and eight would get him fired. I'm not confident he would be safe. This is what his fourth season? It'd be his fourth season and each one would have gotten worse in that in that scenario. I don't know. I don't know. All right. Well, you know what, we're just doing this drive engagement anyway. So Gus Malzod, cold seat. What do you think folks? Call in. Let us know. Um, or are we going to find any UCF fans to talk to online?
Starting point is 01:33:55 Never. Can't happen. Uh, Holly, you have added potential comedic grenades. I won't reveal who they are, but I assume you're saying with these, what happens if these coaches go four and eight? Wouldn't that be alert? I'm saying, I was ranking the top three coaches where it would be the funniest if they went four and eight and did not get fired. Wow Okay, all right Based on that I love two of these names of this list
Starting point is 01:34:21 And one I vehemently disagree with But I am willing to hear you out Let's let's let's start with the bottom Let's go reverse order Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, okay Because we're going to have to go into hiding Yeah
Starting point is 01:34:34 Number three, Brent Venables Yeah, after they gave them a billion dollar extension For averaging eight wins per year And this again, this is not me predicting any of these teams going eight this is this is me looking at the country and going okay which which schools do i want most want to watch internalize a four and eight season in which they have to keep the coach same coach for the next year yeah i mean this this is much like the sark example like if you do this your first year in the cc it just puts such a bad taste on things uh yeah it's not because i
Starting point is 01:35:08 like it's not like i like particularly watching any of these fan bases suffer because we we watch two of them have very high bars for suffering. But I, it's kind of like I got an ant farm and I'm like, oh, what happens if I poke it right here? Oklahoma went, so Oklahoma went six and seven in 2022,
Starting point is 01:35:31 which was the first time they had slipped below 500 since 1998, when they went five and six. And the year before that was when they went four and eight under John Blake. Like, this is also a fan base that would have no experience with how to deal with a four and eight season whatsoever. This is why I want to see it. It is not the most fan base on this list, though, but we'll get to them. No, no, stop. Okay.
Starting point is 01:36:01 Number two is a bit of like a, this is like a TKO. Like, I want to see this scored on the cards just because we've done it already. So what does it look like the second time? And that is Greg Shiano. So Greg Chirono going four and eight at Rutgers? Yes. I mean, I guess where I'm at is I feel like given... This is purely because I'm interested because this is the second Greg Shiano era at Rutgers.
Starting point is 01:36:28 Right. And I think it feels like the way that he was brought back and the way in which he kind of strong-armed them into his second, into that contract after he unceremoniously left the NFL. You see the vision, yes. I feel like Ruckers is institutionally locked into the position that we cannot have a coach other than Greg Shiano. Not we shouldn't, not it's not a good idea. Just like the way in which this molecule works together, Greg Shiano particle is the only one we can bond with. Here's the other thing. These are Venom symbiote.
Starting point is 01:37:07 Here's the other thing. Apart from last season. Yeah. if you take Greg Shianos Round two at Rutgers If you take Greg Shianno's second era at Rutgers You have A three win season
Starting point is 01:37:22 A five win season and a four win season Which emerges out to three four win seasons Keep them coming So basically I'm asking how many times I started out by looking for who is the most four and eight coach Yeah And then I came to the conclusion of how many times can we press this button Forever
Starting point is 01:37:38 They've got a lot of fucking money to go forward Yeah, yeah. Like, so like over the last decade, um, I just looked this up. They have averaged exactly four wins per season. That's including some awful seasons and some decent ones, but like four and eight for me, that's, I think you ride that forever at ruggers. Yeah, that's like a, a kind of bad ruckers year. It's like you're boiling salamanders instead of frogs.
Starting point is 01:37:59 Salamanders who were raised in volcanoes and they're like, this is cool. It is a very seas get degrees approach. Hell yeah. Get that fucking money. Don't make too much noise. Stay put. But I'm very confused to have Greg Shiotto in the middle of the sandwich that has Brett Venables is the bottom bread, and who is the top bread and Holly?
Starting point is 01:38:20 Okay, once again, I'm not calling for this team to go four and eight, despite what we may have seen them doing the last time on a football field. But if you're that head up to fire your coach just because of the one game he can't win, what happens if Ryan Day has a crater of a year and they keep him? which would be Ohio State's worst year since what 1988 and they keep him John Cooper went four six and one
Starting point is 01:38:52 in his first year at Ohio State so this would be worse than that this is like this is the ultimate haters prom by the way because you're like no I'm saying you're going to keep your coach I'm not saying he'll be fired this would be worse than any year for them since I think 1947 two six and one
Starting point is 01:39:11 I mean if you if you look at their schedule actually know this is worse than that like if you're saying all right so let's give them oh it's not likely but it's fun let's do the fun part
Starting point is 01:39:28 I think this would be their worst season ever so so let's give them the non-cons of Akron Western Michigan and Marshall those are all wins okay hang on what if they trip up against Marshall just for fun I mean it happened another name. Let's,
Starting point is 01:39:41 let's what I'm saying. Let's start it at Marshall. Okay, I'm serious. This would be their worst season of football ever. Like the other two, the other two in the,
Starting point is 01:39:49 in the, in that zone are World War II era that it's fake. Right, right. Where it's like, yeah. Okay, so if we say they're losing to Marshall, Holly, you can only have two more wins from the following.
Starting point is 01:40:04 I am taking Nebraska. Uh-huh. And I am taking, oh, they'll beat Indiana like yeah the universe is cruel enough in this scenario that even 40 Ohio would beat Indiana I was kind of toggling back and forth between uh between Purdue and Indiana there but yeah let's take what if this what if Indiana is what does it what if Indiana breaks the buck eyes so we would so that if we did if we if Indiana did they play too late
Starting point is 01:40:30 in the year to do that we would watch this does yes have them losing to um Michigan state Iowa, Oregon, Penn State, Purdue, Northwestern, and Michigan. I think we, so the thing to add here is not only this would be, would this be their worst season ever. This is an especially hyped year for Ohio State, which is saying a lot. Yes. So here's what I, here is what I will guarantee. There's no way that Ryan Day goes four and eight and gets fired because he's not going to make it to the 12th game. If it's going to have poorly. I mean, we're talking oh and one he's fired. That's Akron. Like, but I think Holly is right because this would be a cataclysmic event that would be one of the, literally one of the most confusing things in human history if he goes four and eight this year and sticks around. No, but Ryan's right too.
Starting point is 01:41:19 The real, the real test is going to be, the real problem, the tightro of the day is walking here is that, well, the knock on him is that he can't beat Michigan. We have yet to have to consider him losing to any, well, let's discard the bowls. We have yet to consider him losing to anybody else. like Jason this would be the worst season in Ohio State history it might also be the worst like we don't know yet but there's a decent chance Ohio State will be the preseason number one yeah the last the only other recent example of a team collapsing this badly is that USC team that started the year and this would be way worse than that and this would be way worse than that this would be so much it would be way worse and at a school that just is never bad relative to expectations It's not that they're not emotionally equipped for this is that they've never had a reason to be emotionally That would be the most disappointing team This is Atlanta doesn't have snow plows
Starting point is 01:42:14 That would be the most disappointing team In college football history I'll go check to confirm that I've looked at this shit enough to I'll tentatively stand on And so Holly is correct that if Ohio State had the worst season in college football history The most alarming season in college football history But they beat Michigan
Starting point is 01:42:32 And didn't fire Ryan Day that would be... I didn't even entertain that possibility. Absolutely, fuck and bonkers. Yeah. They knock Michigan out of the playoff. Is there anybody we have left off of potential cold seat consideration who we think like they can just give us a real shit year and they're probably fine?
Starting point is 01:42:52 I mentioned wrist ride. I also, I'm sort of on the fence-ish about Casey Keeler at Sam Houston State. He won their only NCAA title. Oh for two in FBS seasons. it would still be improvement over year one. He's been there for like 50, not 50 years, but it feels like 50. It's like 15, but like he's, he has a national title there. I would, I'd keep him for another year.
Starting point is 01:43:15 Who cares? Okay. The other that is fascinating to me is Jamora. I did look at that. Where the men's basketball program there is officially a better job than the Los Angeles Lakers. Meanwhile, the football team is in a situation where you're like, I guess you keep the guy who's won seven games of two years. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:33 Yeah, he had that one incredible year when I thought he should have been coach of the year. But like, you know, if you don't win anything, I don't know. Yeah, one thing that I think we've understudied maybe, especially now that we have a chance to see them making the transition in the opposite direction, is what does being one of those sad independents do to this sense of urgency? Like when you don't have, absent the context of a conference race, right? Like, what does that do to this? This is tricky because Yukon's also coming off of two back-to-back men's national titles and not losing their coach to the Lakers. The other one that I didn't know what to do with is Sean Clark at App State.
Starting point is 01:44:17 Like things have been fine there, not necessarily like, maybe not as good. They've only won the division once. But, you know, they're consistently going to bowl games. Um, they're not, they haven't, you know, really had a bottom. That'd be their, that'd be their worst season since the eight, the 1981. Wait, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, um, like, uh, no, no, the worst year they've had in FBS was six and six. Oh, in FBS. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I, I, I, I'm looking at sports reference, but there, certainly there was a bad FCS here. Okay. Okay. I think, yeah, I think, yeah. I can give you a temperature check, uh, on Appalachian state. This is not good.
Starting point is 01:45:00 enough. Yeah. Four and eight. Yeah. No, no. Oh, even the status quo is not good enough. Like what's been happening is not good enough. So four and eight, I think, would hurt.
Starting point is 01:45:09 Nine and five last year. And that's not good enough. It's not. Like, they, they have, like, they understand where they came from and what they were doing there. But I think they also understand now, like, oh, we've had a bunch of 10 win seasons. Like in the Sunbelt, we belong there doing that winning 10 games, like, potential like pushing i just i don't think like there's i don't think i don't think i don't think it's
Starting point is 01:45:35 okay like he if he comes out and like if he was to come out and like lay an egg against climpson and not seem competitive in that game and then go four and eight they would probably entertain the idea of moving on okay i yeah um i i i the other thing i was kind of thinking with that is like it probably chafes to see like jm you be the darling of the conference right now when you're like what like it's not like oh somebody who's been a Sunbelt team for 50 fucking, it's just like another FCS nuke it on the block and they can just come in and like do all this great shit.
Starting point is 01:46:09 Yeah, I think, I get where you're coming from there. It's the Doc Holiday Johnny Ringo scene in Tombstone. He's like, something about him reminds him of me and I really hate him. That's exactly what's going on. J.M.U. and Apple at you. Okay. But that's it.
Starting point is 01:46:29 All other. so I think by everybody else you're on fucking notice everybody yes other than other than the what like maybe like 40 coaches we've accounted for everybody else is on the hot seat by definition um Ryan keep this list because I want to come back to it and uh at the end of the season and see and see if we accidentally spoke somebody's poor fate in existence it's gonna be somebody we just like odds are yeah no I think that's right we have like uh I mean, Matt Campbell's on this list, so there's definitely a 4-18 possibility going on here. I hate to say it.
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