Shutdown Fullcast - The Dale Episode

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

It's possible we had other plans for this episode. Those plans went out the window in the first minute after Ryan asked Spencer, Holly, and Surber why they loved Dale EarnhardtPluto is still a planetFullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Caleb CurtisCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantzListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

My racist high school physics teacher just put a photo of Snoop and Trump on his feed. And my classmate posted a response that said, you wrote me up for listening to Snoop in your class in 1993, so fuck you. And I think it's about time you know that your daughter stayed over at my house after prom. Thank you, Coach Finstock. Outstanding. I'm going to be. I'm going to be.

I'm going to be. We're going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be able to be.

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. I am joined this week by Ryan Nanny, Holly Anderson, and on the ones and twos, Michael Cerber. How's everyone doing? I have a request. A request.

Oh, goodness. So this is not. It's not SpanCon. It will lead into eventually podcast business later, but it really isn't that. It was just prompted by some advertisement that's going on right now. I never had a NASCAR face. So I have a general, like a very generalist understanding. Wait, I'm sorry. Ryan, I'm sorry. Did you say you never had a NASCAR face? I don't, I might have NASCAR face. I don't know. I think if you grew a, I assume now that you said phase, but I really did hear face. I just wanted to let you know that if you grew a mustache, I think that's really all it would take. Yeah, no, I don't even think he has to grow a mustache.

I want you to imagine his face peeking out of the window with the net down. Hi, guys. Bye. No, no, that's, you know what? That's actually very interesting because he could pass very easily right now with no alterations for a NASCAR driver. Yeah. Because many of them do have, like, that cherubic visage that Ryan enjoys. They do.

They have the race car driver's paradox, which is looks abnormally young, is traveling close to the speed of light, right? Ooh, maybe that's it. Maybe they age slower. And smokes unfiltered cigarettes at the clip that would shame an Italian dictator. I'm not sure that limit exists, but I appreciate the idea of it. Um, my question is this. I know Dale Earnhardt is revered, and I know that he's important. And I'm throwing this open to the three of you, not just a Spencer.

I don't have any sense of like what made Dale Earnhardt special or why people love Dale Earnhardt. I know, I know we do. And I don't, I want to be clear that I'm not. Now we have a whole episode. Here we go. Okay. I'm not questioning that.

Brother, you just teed this up. I just, it occurred to me. Oh, no, I know you're not questioning it. I'm just like, well, I hope not. Nobody else wanted to talk about anything else today? Like the only Dale Earnhardt thing I know is the most unfortunate part, which is the circumstances of, like I do know the circumstances of his death. That part, I understand. And I know he has a son named Dale Hurd Jr.

But beyond that, and I know that based on a screenshot, I've seen Teresa Earnhardt ruined DEI, Dale Earhart Industries. See, that's why I've never been an opponent of DEI, because I'm always like, restrict or plate gods, dominant performance at the big tracks. What made Dale Earnhardt captivating or wonderful as a racer at the time? Because I have nothing. Do you know where my head first went, actually? And I suppose maybe I should have thought of this later. But I think we've talked before about how in April of 2016, we were like, Bowie and Prince died.

This is the worst year ever. and how we shouldn't think things like that. And I do remember thinking in February 2001 that like, holy shit, we've never really had anything where everybody I know says they remember where they were when they found something out.

Like we don't have a Kennedy assassination, right? We were all kind of young to remember the Challenger or, you know, Princess Diana dying or whatever. and I remember Dale dying was the first time everybody I knew like had this crystalline flash memory right of like oh man I remember where I was anyway that was February of 2001 so the problem of not having any collective memory to bind us all together was about to go away forever but if I if I were writing like

if I were writing like a wiki entry, Ryan, for you to read, and I had to put it in relatable terms right across the top, the first two headings in any order would be champion and champion hater. Yeah. Is that fair, boys? I think that's a good, I think that's a good start, yeah. Yeah, like those would, those would be my two. those would be item one and item item item item item item item item item item item item item two or item one

and item one a it was both his excellence in the sport and him being mean as shit as a competitor okay yeah it mean just mean as a mean as a mean as a goddamn snake yeah yeah I was about to pull several snake metaphors from the holster yeah where I keep my snakes. Dale Earnhardt, I'm just going to, you put a nickel in this machine and it's about to go off. Yeah, I really, I just want, I want the two of you to cook. I watch Dale because my daddy watched Dale. I'm not even sure who a good comparison for him would be.

I mean, Jordan comes to mind. That's, that's what I was going to get to. I'm North Carolina. I'm from South Carolina. I moved to North Carolina. I was 10 years old, so I'm a North Carolina. I'm a Carolina kid, but North Carolina kid regardless. there's two people from this state in like sport that everyone looked up to when I was growing up

and it was Michael Jordan and Dale Earnhardt and it was kind of on the same level which is insane if you say it to anyone outside of this area but like they both came from North Carolina they both were the best at what they did um at Dale Earnhardt had that unique ability to just wreck everybody to get what he wanted and then in the garage when they'd be mad he would just like grab their head and be like oh come on and they would all be like you're right dale and just be super stoked to that he even acknowledged them yeah and not by the way that he was particularly ebullient when he would do so like it's not like he would come back afterwards and be like ha ha that was a goof no no he meant it like he wanted it I wanted it more than you did

clearly and they all kind of knew he wanted it bad enough to do whatever yes exactly but it wasn't necessarily behind date but it wasn't necessarily personal it was just you were in the way so i fixed that oh no no it's extraordinarily personal you i want more than you have i want more i want more i want more money than you have i want better sponsors than you have i want more fans to come to my autograph event than you had come to your event i want more cars sold at my car dealership than your car dealership that you have like the only

like there was Rusty Wallace Terry Labani good like the only person that ever really truly matched him blow for blow on the track was like and people don't like to say this especially not Earnhardt fans but is Jeff Gordon yes correct and Jeff Gordon had the audacity to be

pretty that's why you should also respect the shit out of Jeff Gordon absolutely a lot of what I'm going to cite comes from Jay Busby's excellent book Earnhardt Nation. Yeah, which you should, which I think you should read, I think everyone should read any of if you're not necessarily like an aficionado. It's just a good read.

He is, first of all, Dale Earnhardt, senior is from Canapolis, North Carolina. If you want to know what's in Canapolis, Dale Earnhardt. That's about it, Canapolis. Dale Earnhardt Boulevard, in fact. Uh-huh. That is correct. Dale Earnhardt grew up broke, had to build his own cars. Dad would help him, but he wouldn't pay for it.

and had so little growing up that, like, if he wrecked his car growing up, which is the thing he was passionate about, he had to go home, take it, and fix it in order to race it the next day. He sucked for a long time. If you read Earnhardt Nation, there's a pretty good, he was not a savant, he was not overnight sensation, one time when he really badly needed it. In a phase of his life where in the book it is described,

he is so broke that he wakes up and gasses himself up, his roommate can hear him through the door to his bedroom playing every day at like 7 a.m. blasting it out of his room. Give me back my bullets by Leonard Skinner as his like hype up song because he's he owes alimony. He's broke. He's young. He's divorced and he still hasn't made it as a race car driver. Can you imagine being Dale Earnhardt's roommate?

I mean, Jesus. I think you roomed with who? Yeah, just Dale. It's my friend Dale. Dale Earnhardt in that phase. Love and revered Earnhardt, as everyone raised in my time where I was raised should. I'm not sure I would live with him for money. Yeah.

He needed the money so badly that at one point he was at a dirt track in North Carolina racing the local guy. At the time, you could have the local guy, the big number one guy who was big in, you know, high point or wherever you were. and he was racing another driver who had a fair amount of success. They were on the last lap and the guy had a faster car but Dale was right on his bumper.

So guess what Dale did? Dale fucking dumped him. Absolutely spun him out, won the race, took the what, $100, $200 in prize money as the crowd was throwing garbage and threatening to beat his ass

and reaching in their pockets for whatever sharp objects they had. His guy, his pit guy, was like, Dale, why'd you do that? And the quote was, I'm broke He's not Fuck him

If you can't If you can't relate to that moment You do not understand The essential mythos behind Why people rode so hard For Dale Earnhardt That's that whole thing He's broke

I'm broke He's not Fuck him That is If you want to know Why people rode so fucking hard Not that there were Other NASCAR drivers

Who didn't come from even less And had less support Because goddamn there were Most of them In fact, however, that's the ethos. That's the core of the entire myth right there. It's not really an exaggeration to say the answer is everything. Yeah.

Like, it's the way he raced. It's his personality on the track. It's his personality off the track. It's the socioeconomic context that surrounded him. Like, pick. The answer is yes. Like, why did everybody love you? and heart yes the from a like why do all why do race car people not just like fans of

NASCAR but why do race car people love him it's because of how innovative he was like just to the sport in general just using whatever he had available to him to make his car go faster a lot of people would call this cheating and NASCAR it's called competition yeah there was a there was a magyvering element oh yeah he used a screwdriver for like an axle key, I think, because the stock ones would break. So he used that. That's like a famous thing. I think he learned from his dad even.

He would, he just used a screwdriver. The seat in his car, because because of the way he felt he needed to sit to really feel the car and control the car, he would hammer the bottom of the seat out like an extra 10 inches. That's the way they identify all the authentic Dale Earnhardt cars when they, when they ever, they come up for auction or anyone tries to sell an Earnhardt car. They just go under and look like Dale Earnhardt Jr. even said I just go under and look at the seat and if it looks like someone hammered it out with a ball peen hammer

then I know it was my dad's car because he sat. When you say hammered it out can you explain like visually to people what you mean by that? Dale Earnhardt down in the car his legs hanging out of the window with a ball peen hammer hammering the fuck out of the bottom of the seat so that he could sit lower

like a like a G frankly leaned back with only a lap belt yeah with only a lap belt Did we all, as children, in our first cars, put the seats as far down and as far back as the way as possible? Yeah. Yeah, possibly. Did this look ridiculous in a Jeep Cherokee?

Yes. Uh-huh. You know what we didn't do, though? We didn't win seven Winston Cup championships with it. That is not on my resume. No. I was doing Science Olympiad that year. Did any of us appear in a big and rich video singing?

Not as far as I know. Yeah, Dale Earnhardt. Did Dale Earnhardt 100%. We forgive him that. Yeah. Did he appear in six-pack as himself? Yes. Yes, he did.

Did Dale Earnhardt once race the entire Monaco circuit? The Grand Prix circuit, they run an F-1 and have run. Did he run it in a rental car with the head of NASCAR in the back? Totally confident. Did he do this in the middle of the day when it wasn't roped off? And it wasn't blocked off? Because he knew he might never have another chance to get back to Monaco in a car. car yeah he did and he ran the entire circuit at top speed in a rental car do you remember what kind of car it was oh god i think it was a tempo i'm pretty sure yeah yeah it was it was a compact car yeah and when asked why he wasn't scared bill france the head of nascar technically dale earnhart's boss said it was dale i wasn't worried yeah dale earnhart once saw his uh his daughter's boyfriend driving down the road in canapolis and didn't like this boyfriend at all and dale arnhart which

with a rider in the car accelerated, rammed him, ran him off the road, and when the writer asked why, he said, because I don't like him. That's it. Dale Earnhardt, did he wreck Brett Bodine? So glad you asked. Yes. Did he wreck Bill Elliott? Oh, St. Bill. Bill Elliott. Yeah, he fucking wrecked Bill Elliott. Bad, hard for a win. Did he wreck Rusty Wallace repeatedly? Did he wreck Ricky Rudd? Of course. Did he wreck Terry Labani in both the line and totally justified manner? Yes. Wait, I think he did both. He just meant to rattle his cage. I'm sorry. He threw a rubber snake at Mike Hilton on a camping trip one time at NASCAR, at the NASCAR. Again, his boss, like threw a rubber snake at him.

But my favorite Dale Earnhardt throws something story is probably the time he threw kicks Brooks into the ocean in the Bahamas. Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, oh, wait, no, now I'm going through, hang on. Now I'm going through my, actually, I had to go back and search some of his tweets. The time he handcuffed Jeff Bodian to a hotel railing in Louisville. Why? Why did he do that?

He put Bobine, he put Jeff Bodine on a hotel railing. No, he handcuffed him to the hotel railing. This is, okay, here's the paragraph from Earnhardt Nation I was looking for. Okay, I was looking for throwing. Earnhardt tossed a rubber snake at Helton on a camping trip. At one Champions weekend in New York at the Waldorf, he and Kenny Schrader raided the maids closet and bricked up the doorway of vice president of NASCAR Jim Hunter with towels.

He left Budweiser on the bed of Rusty Wallace, who was devoted to his sponsor Miller White, Every time Wallace stayed on Earnhardt's boat, this is my favorite one. He dumped a can of sardines under Rusty Wallace's seat just before the Southern 500 on a day it was in the 90s at start time. Like the most whimsical, vicious hater. He'd hang out. Okay, here's the other bit from Jay Busby's reporting that I fucking love. He'd hang out in the Talladega Tredentials office and tell unsuspecting reporters who called in that Talladega didn't need their coverage and they didn't need to bother coming to the track.

Like he would just hang out in the press office and answer the phones and be like, no, race is canceled. I keep going through Jay Busby stories because they're my favorite. Bristol, Richard Childress, is entering a portable toilet in the infield. Earnhardt gets in his truck, idles it up to the port of, John and just starts bumping the truck against the door harder and harder. Dale Earnhardt really did view a car

as a tool that can be used in a number of different ways at different speeds. So let me ask a question then. Were there fans who didn't like Dale Earnhardt during this period? Me initially. Me initially as a kid as a kid I was like, that's a bad

man. That's a bad man. That's a bad person. I was never given the opportunity to dislike because by the time I was conscious of racing, my dad was fully Dale-pilled. And my dad and Dale have a lot in common, as I'm sure you all will agree. So I was just, I was legacyed into this whole thing. Because, server, you brought up Jordan, and I get that. But, like, so much of this sounds like Berkeley in a lot of ways.

Like, when Barclay was a player, like, how people thought of Charles Barkley. Sure. That's fair. I guess I hadn't thought of the fact that. other than Charles Barkley didn't, you know, win a bunch NBA finals and shit like that. Yeah, no, he didn't win all those championships like Dale and MJ did. I, too, never had the opportunity to do anything but love Dale Earnhardt, hence my Dale Earnhardt phone that I inherited from my pap off.

Yes. We saw that very early on in our relationship with you, Serber, and I was like, this guy's going to. That was calculated. This guy gets us. Sometimes you show. There's certain people you just want to show off for. um so i it was he was as he as beloved as he was hated like the most popular driver typically that's an award that's gone out a bunch that typically went to bill elliott or jeff gordon yeah

typically did not go to dale earnhardt like or darrell waltrip darrell waltrip yeah a lot of people love darrell waltrip um most because like most people did not like dale earnhardt my dad's film is from spring hill so technically like we were a sterling marlin household right but there is a bit of daylight in the personalities between the two so it was like it kind of never

as a kid at least it never really felt like you know liking one was interfering with liking the other so Darrell Walter didn't live too far from where I lived and so naturally I was like where I got room for a local guy and he drove up the tied car and Darrell was like real

Darrell's real smiley and he'd say stuff Darrell's just fucking mean I can't believe that didn't make you rankly suspicious of him. Yeah, and they cheated like crazy. Well, I was a kid. You're like, oh, we're that guy. That's our guy. And then this guy would come along in the blue and yellow wrangler car and put Daryl

Bultrip into the wall and make Daryl very sad. And I was like, who is this bad man? This is an evil person. And then, you know, your balls drop and your hormones kick in. And you're like, this guy's fucking cool. Well, and it helped that he got the. black car like the black car turned it all around yeah i mean there was just like i you know i'll give credit to rusty wallis too for the two miller genuine draft car it was a black car and it looked

rad on the track dale earnhart's black number three with silver and red trim like it looked awesome and and the way he was he was really the first nascar driver to to merchandise himself properly and the way that we they do now like dale Learnhart was one of the first guys that you would see that many of his shirts at the track. Just like every Dale Learnhart fan at the track had a shirt on or a hat on. And he kind of started

that Gordon definitely was part of building that with him. As much as they like had a rivalry, it was like also kind of like, let's sell more merch, bro. But like that's another thing that set him apart from everyone at the time was just like he had cool shit. And then it made

everyone else want to have cool shit too. It's the rainbow car that, like, Jeff Gordon wound up driving and the green interstate batteries car, like, cars started to look cooler, almost as like an answer to Earnhardt being the coolest looking dude as well. Yeah, my favorite fire suit is actually, like, the Kyle Petty, mellow yellow. Yeah, yeah. And the Kyle Petty also had the Hot Wheels ride there for a while when he drove the 44, which was also sick. It was blue with flames. but like paint schemes weren't really a thing until dale earnhardt made paint schemes a thing for all of those drivers which then made it like more merchandising opportunities which like the nascar store in the mall i'll harken back to that for anybody who lived in the south that was a thing like the disney store we had a nascar store in Winston salem and it was fucking awesome and that would like things like that would have never happened if not for dale earnhard because just no one was selling merch until he did right And I should give you some important additional Nashville-based context because there's probably somebody from the 615 screaming at me right now.

When I talk about Sterling and Dale not really interfering one with the other, there is a crucial exception in that it was, there's a lot more to it than this. But Sterling's car made the initial bump in Dale's last Daytona that started him spinning. uh which is which was not uh which was not an intention uh obviously but when you when you talk about ways that they cross paths you kind of can't leave that part out a server as spencer i know this story server have i ever told you the story of my cousins on the news after sterling won detona in 94 it was the first one so i guess 94 no that was the kodak car right my dad had uh had cousins a pair of cousins who were identical twins and they were at the net a bunch of people from spring hill went to the airport to meet sterling's plane like the night he won detona and the local news sent

somebody down there and we used to have a VHS clip of this that i can no longer recall and i don't even remember what channel it was on it was like this petite anchor with like like long dark hair and she's just you know she's walking up and down the line and she gets to she gets to Phil and bill and she said yeah once again it's it's we can't tell a joke and she you know she she perks right she you know she perks up to him she's like you know what was your reaction when mr. Marlon won and Phil grabs his identical twin they're they're like in their 30s at this point Phil grabs his identical twin brother pulls him into frame and goes,

well, I'll tell you what, I turn around and kissed all a bit here right smack on the mouth. Family legend.

Bless them. Yeah. Bless their memories. Yeah. And in case, like, in case this isn't all clear, Ryan,

you can tell that very few people have. I still don't feel like we're doing this justice, right? Because, like, I feel like we would have to like, we would have to put you in like, a sphere presentation of

an encyclopedia Britannica to really like I'm not even sure where to be like a Nova series about Dale Earnhardt yes there isn't hang out there isn't this is not an ad for Amazon Prime by any means fuck that but like there is a document like a five part Dale doc

coming out in May I think this year and it's I mean it's got all the motherfuckers in it so I assume it's gonna be pretty awesome. So if you like if you like that shit and you want a last dance for Dale, I think that might be it. Maybe it winds up sucking. I don't know. What you need to know is that on top of all of the things on all of the things in life that made him so incredibly cool is that he finishes out his career with his own race team racing with his son, which is high drama. High drama that not only did he get to race

with his son, but has been tried before and since in NASCAR with wildly varying results. you might imagine. And it's almost like a last statement from him that Michael Walshipp, someone that everyone else in the sport had given up on and said is not going to win. Like he had the most starts without a win I think in NASCAR history on that day that Dale died that Michael won that

race. Dale technically, like it is shitty that Sterly Marlin has caught any flack from that because ultimately Dale was blocking so that his two cars would gain a bigger payday. And he wanted to be first second. There is a lot more to it than he bumped him. He spun. Yeah. Just a couple of laps before that.

happened what did he do do you remember like one of his last acts on earth as he passed another driver. Did he get Sterling Marlin loose? No, even better he on his I'm going to get the details right because this is St. Dale we're talking about here

okay but on the last I think it's two laps before right where Dale who did all kinds of stuff in the car he did all kinds of stuff in the car that you're not supposed to like he got in trouble once for trying to clear

he got troll he got uh he clipped he clipped sterling first is that what you're talking about no I am not I have the details correctly here and he did it to a driver who always deserves it

as you can imagine I have not rewatched this a whole lot a couple of laps before Dale gave the finger to a young Kurt Busch which you know what if you've yeah this is not how I this is not how I would want to go out but if I could get Kurt Bush on the way

with a bird thank you one of the last things he did on earth was flick off a bush which is what you should do because that's all they deserve and I think Michael Walter winning that race was also a big bird from Dale to everyone else

who he was like because he was like no I'm right about this cat this dude can win races if i put him in a car that can do it yeah and he did he won a bunch of races in that 15 car after that too when he died when he died de i was in the lead and they would they would win the race yeah so not many guys get to go out like like like that that's even even his death is like part of part of the mythos and if you ever want to see anything real sad and i will i will tear up talking about it i don't want i don't want to talk i don't It's all on video.

Oh, 98. I'm not talking about the crash. I'm talking about the aftermath. I'm talking about the winner circle. I'm talking about the press conference when Mike's up there. Oh, no. Oh, I'm talking about, is Dale okay? Yeah, no, there's, I'm talking about we lost Dale.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, just just start. So, Ryan, this is, this is in 2001, of course. So, like, right at the cusp of the time where we can get this all on video, right? and like have it be shareable fuck Spencer you do it yeah and so it looks

the accent looks pretty benign at first looks like a thousand other wrecks that they've had that's the thing like this is the thing that happens to him has happened before yeah and has been considered pretty normal and something very abnormal happens with the seatbelt it's the source of a lot of controversy afterwards

and the race finishes and so as so often in like tragic moments motorsport the race finishes and there's you know celebration and then somebody's like hey is Dale okay and it becomes apparent very quickly that he is not so he's taken from the track and later there's a lot of confusion but the NASCAR's PR guy like their media guy comes out and he just is like he looks as shaken as i've ever seen a human being and he says and of course everybody has yeah this is all this is all on camera like this is all happening on live TV yeah and you can see you know you can see if you go back into the footage, you can see, you know, drivers who are friends of his being

like, is Dale okay, and getting this look? And you can, you can watch people, and I don't recommend that you do, but you can watch people, you know, Wall Trip, everybody, you can watch people finding out one by one what has happened, including the guy in the winner's circle. Yeah. Yeah. Which is the part that gets me. If you want to feel better after that, you can watch the July race from that very same season when Jr. and Waltrip finished 1-2 again.

And Junior says, I think it's actually Tony Yuri, Jr., Tony Yuri, Sr., one of the two that said, well, Michael Lee could celebrate in February, so they're going to celebrate here, too. And that's like, that's the one that gets me too. I remember I was when I'm babbling. I feel like we're babbling.

I know, but I just, This was a moment in my life, too. I can still picture running from my room. So where were you? Okay, I was in my bedroom and I saw it on the TV and I saw the statement and I ran from my room into the living room and shouted at my dad, Dale Earnhardt died. And I remember he shot it back, what? And stood up. We just were like face to face.

And then I don't really remember much because I think I just started crying. But like, it was crazy. So I was in school, and we were, it was auditions. Like, it was like we were doing Inherit the Wind or some shit. And I was sitting in the stairwell with like half my classmates or whatever. And I will never remember, I will never forget who it was. Is this kid named Billy Fairbanks, who I was like not close with and haven't kept in touch with. But I just remember it was him.

And he comes running in the stairs. and he comes running up the stairs to like the landing where we're all sitting and he's like Dale Earnhardt died and I had been taping Daytona at home and we were just and the whole like everybody just started crying it was crazy yeah so there you get you ask why you ask why Dale Earnhardt's cool you get a 45 minute long answer let me guess you're a Ricky Rudd fan now Ryan I don't know what that means I don't know what that means it's the longest

home field ad we've ever done listen should we that actually might not be true should we transition directly into podcast business off of this then I don't know yes because

hey Ryan why'd you ask Spencer give us a quick bit of podcast business here podcast business what's the business podcast business it's a business podcast business

remember three that's right our friends at homefield apparel.com listen i may not know shit about racing or dale are in heart except for everything i learned in the last half hour which i thank you all for this was very helpful and and and at the very least i'm going to follow holly's advice and go get jay's book and read that it's yeah it's like it's a good it's even if you're not like that conversant in naskar as a dramatic read it's fantastic i'm looking forward to that so i'm going to add that to the list uh but

racing dummy that I am I know that the race shit that Homefield apparel has coming out this week like if you're listening to this I think you are 24 hours away from the the Daler and Heart Drop can you all describe the splendor

that Homefield is gracing with us with this like I know we're here to talk you we're usually here to talk about their college apparel there is a lot of it and it's all great but today I would really like to focus. This is the school of life. I would like to focus on this part of it. This is, first of all, can we, can we brag for just a little bit? Because I think that we have, without knowing every item that was coming, I believe we found out that this was a thing that they were trying to do like a year ago, right? I think we found this out at Jason's bookwatch. Yes, because I know that's a rallying because that's when Spencer has the, has the, um, the, the, um, the, the, the, um, the, the, the, the, um, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.

When we got our initial home field NASCAR drop, a bunch of which we wore to Jason's book show, I remember we were chatting with Connor and we were asking like, you know, oh, hey, this is great. What's next? What's next? What's next? And he just holds up three. And like, we lost our fucking minds. And not having the ability to scream about that for the ensuing year has been extremely painful. And I'm so glad it's here. Holy shit. Um, Spencer has disappeared. That's okay. I think to attend to a yelling, Betty. Because like, again, I don't know anything about any of this, but I know that all of this stuff, all, server, why don't you just like sing the praises of the jacket? Because I think the jacket is what's going to capture everybody's attention first. Oh, to sing the praises of the jacket, I just set an alarm for 9.58 a.m. Eastern time because I, I,

teach a class or no this is going to be on 30 so i don't teach a class but uh i do i do tend to like sometimes there's things dropping forget that that happens and i want this jacket so badly that i'm going against my normal routine of never setting alarms or reminders for myself for things like this and i'm doing it because it's that awesome so three car collection comes out february 27th day after this episode's dropped the day this episode drops the 2025 hendrit collection comes out and then later in april and may there's another little 500 collection and indianapolis uh mainstay and the indianapolis motor speedway collection drops may first so like some and and we saw at the live show we did in indianapolis last year they had a bunch of the the racing swag available

it's all so great it's all just wonderful stuff and like I drive a minivan but that doesn't stop me I can I can feel cool I can feel strong and fast you're about to get that minivan you're about to tear some shit up

in that minivan what you're going to do that three jacket on and I'll do it knowing that I save 20% on my first order using offer code full cast that's right use offer code

three that might work you should try it it should be like three with 15 yeah if you try Connor Connor make sure that if people put three with 15 ease in that there's some sort of special that they get just just see what happens that's all I ask for just resting you're like oh my god they gave me a five jackets free and again also I grew a mustache the preceding 40 minutes were not technically spawn gone from home field apparel but they did prompt these questions they did prompt my question we just wanted to talk about I'm actually incredibly anxious now.

It's 251. We've been talking about this for an hour. I'm actually now anxious because I just realized that I have not yet secured my items from the dail drop. And I'm now getting very nervous. And like, would it be uncouth of me to hop off right now and be like, hey, guys. Send a quiet text. See what happens. Have we got this?

Josh. Josh. Josh. Can you hear me? Spencer, who else is sponsoring this week's episode of the shutdown forecast? That's right. Prize picks. Prize picks.

That's right the best place to get real money sports action with over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings. Prize picks, they did it again. They made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You mad wizards. All you need to do to play prize picks is just pick. More. That's right.

More or... Less than more. Dale. No, less. Less. More. At least two players for a shot. Yeah, more eels.

It's a more reels. Those are the two options. Oh. That's pretty slick, much like the hide of a more a eagle. It's electric prize fixes. You know what? You know what gives me a charge. The shot to win up a thousand times my cash.

That's right. You can run your game all season long on prize picks. Yeah. That's right. You can do that. I encourage you to do so. By the way, you need to know, too, that you can also do this, that prize picks, safe and secure in a time of increasing chaos. In a time where many systematic failures are unwinding in our society and in our

government you know what you can depend on that's right speedy safe fast withdrawals from price picks once you get your winnings you could do that but surely there's no sort of sweet offer code that would go with this this arrangement you've laid out here that's where you'd be wow wow man the offer code full cast ignorant slut yeah just do it go ahead put that code in there you can't yell at me that's history full cast that's right what i get you You can put Offer Code full cast to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. But I probably have to win, right? Offer code.

No, you don't even have to win. You just have to play your first $5 lineup. I know. But again, I'm going to help you here by repeating it again. Offer code full cast if you download the prize picks app today. Prize picks. Run your game. Spencer, are you ready for what I'm going to call?

The finale edition of more or less, our weekly game sponsored by prize picks. You are the only contestant here. That's not true. If you want to use Cerber and Holly to help in a family feud or a... That sounds like something that we do. Price is right audience style. You can do that. But you are the contestant.

There is no theme this week. I have just picked sports things and non-sports things, and you're going to have to tell me which one of them there is more of. Okay. Okay. I'm ready for the chaos. Okay. Number one, which one is more? The budget for the first Jurassic Park film or the payroll of the 2024 Oakland A's. Give me which one is more, Spencer Hall?

Jurassic Park. By $1 million, Jurassic Park costs more than the payroll of Oakland Athletic Space Mall last year. That's correct. I believe that. That's correct. Brian, I have a question. Is this funny because Oakland Athletics Baseball was good, or is it the other way? It's funny because the idea that you could field a baseball team in 2024 for less than a movie cost to make in the early 1990s is deeply offensive,

especially for a team that barely existed. But also, I'd rather have Jurassic Park than the 2024 Oakland A's every day. All right, Spencer. what have there been more of people to walk on the moon or offensive linemen selected first overall in the NFL draft hmm okay so the number

we're shooting for on the moon is 12 I will have been 12 I will confirm that that's correct on the moon selected first or first round first overall number one number one pick overall

offensive linemen selected number one overall okay there was that guy from central Michigan. Yeah, there's Tony Mandurich. That's not who I was thinking of. No. So I'm going to say men on the moon.

That is correct. As you said, 12 people have walked on the moon. Seven offensive linemen have been selected first overall. Maybe we'll catch them one day. Spencer, were there more visitors to the Grand Canyon in 2023 or television viewers of the most recent bad boy mower's pinstripe bowl. Which one is more, I ask you. Visitors to the Grand Canyon. Correct, but it's closer than you'd think. 4.1 million people

watch the bad boy mowers pinstripearl. 4.7 million people went to the Grand Canyon in 2023. That's wild that it even was close. Spencer, are there more James Bond movies or touchdowns scored by Ashton Genty this last college football season? Which one is more? Oh, wow. more touchdowns no I'm sorry let me you're really going out with a bang saw puppet

yeah this is pretty good but I'm going to go ahead and stick with Ashton Jinty I think Ashton had more touchdowns than there were We're doing so well 30 touchdowns by Ashton Jenty

27 We're going to escape your bond In 27 James Bond movies to date Okay We're going to keep our legs We're going to get harder For these last three

Ew Ha All right, Spencer, which one is more? I was actually just listening to the episode earlier today where Jason bequeathed the Bobby Petrino voice to Ryan, and I'm not sure when I started trying to wrestle it away from Ryan, but I sure don't feel good about that. Would you like it?

It's yours now. No! It's a compulsion. It's not pleasant. Spencer, what is more? The FBS record for passing yards by one quarterback in a single game, I will tell you, this is shared by Connor Halliday, and Patrick Mahomes, this number.

Is that number more, or is the population of Vatican City more? That's as of 2023, the population of Vatican City. That's right. I'm going to try to see Conclave tonight. I'm so excited for what's about to happen to you. The number of touchdowns in one game. Passing yards in a single game. Passing yards in a single game.

Not by a team, by one quarterback. Or the population. Ooh, damn, this is hard. Or the population of Vatican City has a single game. So basically I'm shooting I think the number it's in the 700s

are like low eights I just realized Conclave was so good at Cured Spencer of his Stanley Tucci hate I don't hate Stanley Tucci Oh we've been over this

in several episodes I don't hate Stanley Tucci You slandered him mercilessly I have no reason to believe Holly is wrong but which one would you say is more This happened in an episode

I just don't remember what happens Yeah, why am I asking you this? I'm going to say Vatican City is more, but not my life. You are doing so, so well. Population of Vatican City, 764, the FBS record for passing yards in a single game, 734. Okay. Okay.

Ask him some musical shit. This is close enough to that, I think. Spencer, what's more? The number of shows Billy Joel has sold out at Madison Square Garden, or the number of three-pointers Larry Byrd made in the playoffs in his career. I've got to go with the piano, man. You're killing it.

You're undefeated so far. 150 sold-out shows at MSG for the piano man. 83-pointers for Larry the legend in the playoffs. I knew the number. I knew the All right. This is the last one. I think this is the hardest one.

But you have swept the board so far. And if you walk this off with 100%, I'm going to Venmo you $5 because I'm very proud of you. Thank you. Spencer, what's more? Kirk Ferrant's career wins or Arby's locations in the state of Florida. Which number is more?

Oh, we're not getting our legs back at all. The trap is sprung. Which number is more? That's a pretty good trap. Ryan, can you do a laugh? I don't remember. Does the saw puppet even laugh? I don't remember that.

I don't know, probably. There's an interesting fact that Kirk Farrantz has to actually, like, win a bunch of games this year in order to get over the, I think, 600 mark in terms of win percentage for his career. Is that true? Because he's not, I think so, yeah. I think, because I think he's in like No, he's at 622. Does this smack a little bit of like...

Is this 622? Okay. Does this smack a little bit of like throwing a rager for your 27th birthday party? Like, are we really interested past the 500 mark? No. Kirk. Frankly, for a guy like Mark's dupes, I'm like, the 500 mark would be incredible. Because he's not quite there. But he shouldn't be because he's the coach at Kentucky.

and he crawled out of the tunnel. I am going to guess that Farrant's is probably like nearing the like 180 mark. So I'm going to shoot for the notion that there are 180 Arbys in Florida is fucking wild to me. But I'm going, you know, the people of Florida love garbage. If there's one thing I know about the state, it's they love shit. and I say this is somebody who goes to Arby's every time I take a long road trip because I can't resist the Siren song either. Yeah.

It's reasonable. So what I'm going to state is this, I think there are more Arby's in the state of Florida than there are wins in Kirk Ferrence's portfolio. I don't owe you any money because Kirk Ferris has 204 career wins and there are 163 Arbys in the state of Florida, which is still so many RPs. Saw Puppet got me again. We're going to die down here. So many Arbyes.

But you know what? This is probably Spencer's best performance on this game so far. I think this is anyone's best performance, frankly. Way to play a gloria out here in our prize-picking finale. And you died as you lived, befuddled by Arby's, truthfully. So I'm proud of you. Man. You know what?

I sold Kirk short. That's the thing. Again, I did the thing that you should never do. I doubted Iowa. Cook Ferrence has probably been to Arby's bunch, right? Oh, yeah. I have no doubt.

Kirk Ferris is one of those guys that, to me, you're like, what does he spend his money on? I'm like, I don't know. Not coaches. All right, that concludes, more or less, brought to you by prize picks. Does anybody else have any other podcast business before we return to the parts of the show,

Spencer had planned out before I had said, Hey, talk to me about Taylor Hart, please. We put out a... You shouldn't regret it at all. Yeah, what he said. No, I think we're good. Well, we did put out a newsletter of... Never mind.

A newsletter? Where could I find this newsletter? That would be the Channel 6 newsletter that we put out, Holly and I, twice a week, every week. Two things a week for the low, low price of $10 a month. Oh, the V&B's food newsletter, you mean? Yeah, that's true. We did branch into food writing where I gave in, like, very precise directions, like a handful, a box, don't ask me, some, and a slab.

It had, use a fistful. It had the level of anger that shows bizarrely that you care. That I care, and that usually when cooking, there's, like, some stress. She's like, I got to fix this. Now. Yes. I did that because that's part of TRL, which is our Friday, end of the week newsletter where we do a bunch of, we read this, we saw this, we thought this was cool. It's our little offseason thing that we do.

We also still write about college football all the damn time, which is why we just put out a newsletter about how, hey, a group of five schools, mid-majors, you should just eject now. Eject now, become a mortal start-trial player. Because I think we have a pretty solid case for a breakaway G5 Republic. Yeah, one that can sell itself. I say, hear us out. By hear us out, I mean, give us $10 and then go read it and go read all of our other stuff. Don't leave. Thank you.

Hear us out. Highly recommended. Also, we are a, like, six weeks shy of our fourth anniversary, which feels insane. And today was our 450th newsletter. That's a lot. Congratulations to us. It is kind of staggering to think about. That is 450 newsletters dispatched without having to wake up in the morning,

wondering whether our jobs that day are going to hinge upon the whims of some insane venture capital goon. and the absence of that describes government workers right now as well so it's true it's pretty fun anyway the the absence of that feeling is euphoric all by itself so if you're one of our bosses right now uh god i love you a good boss thank you what good bosses you have yeah server and that server you got anything going on with kill i got to say thank you before Ryan kills us. I have a show on March 8th in Greensboro at the Flatiron, and I have a show on March 15th in Winston-Satim at the Monstercade, and I have a show on April 5th in Asheville at Fleetwoods. And new music is coming out in probably like two or three weeks.

Sweet. I love that. I found a Pelican eel. Hell yeah. Okay. And that concludes podcast business. Blah-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-ppamp-pall. All right, you said... Smart-Rour. A while ago, I did. Because I wanted to discuss...

I wanted to discuss Kirby Smart's remarks at a coaching clinic regarding... ...regarding quarterbacks who had a big day against him. I don't know how's this. Did you have Backtalk referred to as smart remarks when you were a kid? I think so. No. Oh, yeah.

Like, I've had enough of your smart remarks. I think I was more, I think it was more likely to be, don't get smart with me. I think that was the, what about? It was, it was, it was, it was, it was smart remarks in my house. Yeah, smart aleck is another one, yeah. Smart remark, though, I remember, Holly, yeah. Yeah, yeah. One more smart remark out of you.

Yep, yep, yep, that's the context, yeah. Anyway, if Kirby ever gives it up and decides. podcast like a real man. Wow. Yeah. Which one day he will. One day we'll get to Kirby's smart podcast. Can you imagine having headphones on and having Kirby's voice beamed directly into your skull?

Not the one he uses in press conferences, but I have to say at coaching clinics, that's clearly a man who believes that all crime is legal if he's talking there. Like he doesn't, there's no filter on what he says in coaching clinics. He's just talking his normal, extremely dojular. extremely man-ish kind of talk which is why if you save the dogs you can do no crime

yeah he cusses a little right like he does all that business he's yes he's Bainbridge Bainbridge County Napoleon

server is what he is man yeah which boy would have visual that is sure is buddy what is what is what is it St. Simon's Island It would be.

I got to exiled to seat, Simons. No, no, no. You have to go to one of the lesser islands, right? Like, you have to go to Tybee. It exiled me to Tybee. Beech is full of crap. Brent Keyes got to swim over and meet me. And we hug.

My feet are all sunburned. I hate it. So Kirby, when doing a presentation about the theme was quarterbacks and had big days against his defenses. Wait, I thought that was the punchline. it away. You're doing it wrong. No, no, no.

Jesus, doing you wrong. He has, so he has these four quarterbacks. He has Joe Burrow, Cam Newton, Johnny Mansell. And the thing they all have in common is they all had great days

against his defense. So he asked coaches, what do all these guys have in common? Yeah, it's great because the coaches are missing shit. They're like, they're all quarterbacks. That's one guy says they're all quarterbacks.

I think my favorite part is when one guy said they're all champions. And he points at Manzell and he's like, champion of what? He said champion of what? Fireball? Oh, I missed that part. Oh, God. Yep.

He said champion of what? Kirby, that's unkind. It's not wrong, but it's unkind. It's deeply, deeply unkind. Because Kirby smart, is he still mad? Is he still mad? Yeah, a little bit. Like, don't you want to talk that guy up?

This is like the, this is the same. logical fallacy that leads people to chant overrated when they beat an opponent properly rated underrated what that hints to me is that Kirby thinks that's the one that's bullshit like Cam

Cam he can Cam he can probably be like Cam Newton's the greatest quarterback I've ever faced as a defense do you think it's because of Cam's size do you think he looks up at Cam and he's like okay I think that's but yes I think part of it is he's like Cam Newton could be a linebacker if he wanted to That's why I respect him.

Yeah. Could be defensive. I really like that. Bryce, you know, part of the Alabama system. So like the respect comes from that. Joe Burrow is handsome. And like there's, you can't be mad at, you can't be mad at somebody that handsome.

You're just not allowed to. But Manzell is a whippersnapper. And Manzell, I think he's like, with a whippersnapper. I think Manzell is like the, the, the cursed brother that he's, I can't believe that one got me. I can't, I can't believe I let that little asshole get the best to me.

He's the Dennis the Menace of this bunch, basically. Yeah, yeah. Also, Johnny's not playing any position on defense. No. Not one. No. He probably, I think he's like, he could be a great lax goalie. But I know he probably looks at Johnny Mansell and he's like, it's not a football player.

That's right. That's some hot dog. You should be out there playing soccer. He should be playing point guard for the New York Knicks. You go out there and play. play basketball, he'd be good at that. Want to be fancy. Shouldn't be out of here from football.

You want to be bobbing and weaving all the way around. Bobbing and weaving. Throwing. Yeah. You line up against us. Once you take this hit. Why don't you go do Super G? It's very important to remember that Kirby Smart, while being smarter than most football

coaches, obviously, Kirby Smart has a good core, a dumb guy in him and like, like, at his heart. That's a substantial crust. That's not a core. on the outside. There's a mantle, a little bit of core. There's significant strata of dumb guy throughout the Kirby's smart geography.

He's like by two minutes dumb guy. It's not perfectly formed, but it's most of the way there. Like, part of, part of him really does, really does think that, right?

It's like a silt. Like his dumb guy, it's where his dumb guy and his smart guy come together and create this sort of like tide pool, this role tide pool. We'll call this. This is the must. champ lair all defensive coaches have it um i mean obviously kirby smart's real smart at football but

like at his core he's like this is a game where you you stand up let me let me hit you right like a guy who's i think that's also it like those other three were elusive but you could catch them maybe you're not catching johnny mansell and he's like guys on american he won't just let us hit him it's a test of manhood and it's like cam cam cam cam was hard to hit cam was hard to tackle it was unpleasant to tackle him. Joe, for sure, was like, you could get hits in on Joe Burrow, but the problem was he'd get the ball out. And to some extent, I think that probably accurately describes Bryce as well.

Johnny Mansell was not killing you on like, God, three steps of the ball's out. He's just so, he's distributed it so well. It's like 85 steps in the ball's not out. I hate him. It's that video of, it's that video of the kid. running around the above ground pool and the mom goes, what is that? And he goes, yeah, nice. Yes, family circus ass quarterback.

I hate him. Yeah. Absolute, like, like, as a boss, if you're facing him in a video game, you're like, I've looked up tutorials. All he does is low block constantly. Yeah, and then he takes two steps back

and I know he's going to do it, but I can't hit him. I just can't hit him. Like, he's very much a Dark Souls boss. and that you're like, it's not fair. I thought he only went left and then suddenly he went right. And he hit me with a sword. As big as a truck, can I hate him?

Kirby really probably respects Cam because he's like, yeah, when he'll hit you and it hurts to hit it. He really respects the most anvil-like of quarterbacks, right? Sure. Yeah. You know, although you know another guy that

I will say this from the Kirby archives, another guy that he gets very irritated when he talks about getting beat by him is the 08 title game with Tim Tebow. And he's like, yeah, they just kept running this one little stick play out of empty in the end zone. You know, we couldn't defend it. And you can tell it just pisses him off so much because he's got this spaghetti armed quarterback with the longest release known to man. He's just throwing TDs against him.

Brozen trebizshaired quarterback. Broken trebache of a quarterback at Kirby's like, Jesus, we must suck. I can't believe this shit. I watched 85 hours of film this week. Peed in a jar for four days. Not for any of the usual reasons. Yeah. Lived off a skull and beef jerky and Red Bull,

and all of a sudden, here comes this holy roller. We can't defend his noodle arm. Like he's so mad. Anyway. Anyway. There's a giant isopod called the Gravekeeper. Time to. The first thing in its description, it says this is the size of a baby.

That what an incredible picture to paint from me. That's exactly what I do. Just a baby crawling around volcano vents on the ocean floor, eating off dead whale carcasses. How many babies is that? That's what I ask when I want to know how much. How much rice we buy in? I don't know.

three or four babies worth. But yeah, that was, that was, that, that's the one thing I saw this week where I was like, I would like to discuss this because Kirby apparently believes that if you say something in a coaching clinic, it's, it evaporates, it's invisible, won't get back to anyone. That's valuable, though. Also, he's still mad. Also, like, what, truthfully, who is the coach who looked at a Texas A&M, Jersey, and pot champion? Like, come on.

Are you paying attention to this sport at all? Stop it. It's definitely not that, dude. No, that's, they're all, they're all quarterbacks. Who was that? You know what? I appreciate this. So it was like, that's going to be on the board.

It's not going to be the, the Steve Harvey looks at you with a smirk, with a disappointed smirk answer, but it will be on the board. Maybe it was Will. I didn't really consider. that from his will sitting in the audience they're all have faces they're all quarterbacks they got

they're all people they got cast their intestinal systems what is booty Steve show me booty must chent family losing by

49 points again wait wait wait server I'm glad we haven't stopped recording Spencer I would like to, I hate to do this on the show. I hate to do this on the show.

Wait, Spencer, you had a game. I did. I did. But that felt like a natural ending point. We can do the game. What was your game? Text that I sent Spencer Hall a week ago. I'm going to read it verbatim.

This is for me, to Spencer. I'm going to text you a thing, and I need you to, one, not ask me any follow-up right now, and two, try your best to ask me about it next to. week when we record. Spencer responded right. And then I told him what I wanted to ask me about it. But he didn't, so I won't be discussing it further. No. I said, here it is. Ask GPT. But because Spencer did not follow instructions and did not tee it up, whatever I meant by that will not be discussed further on this program. And I hate to do a production. meeting on the show, we wouldn't do...

Have you forgotten this? No, I know what Asked GPT was supposed to be a prompt for, okay? It was well thought out, and it was probably going to be great, but now we're not doing it. Okay. That's all. I still love you, Spencer. If you want to play the game, I could do that. So, this leads me to believe that it's been a while since we sort of reviewed.

There's your standard list of, like, historical shit talks that we have in college football. and I have some quotes that I think we might have forgotten in terms of coaches. Speaking the truth, maybe when they shouldn't are being overly candid, particularly about one player or coach. All right. So I'm going to try to challenge you a little bit. Some of these, there are a couple of lower levels in here, but there are a couple of trash talk examples and or shit talking that I feel like we might have forgotten.

Can you give us an easy one to warm up, please? An easy one to warm up. Relatively. Have mercy on us, cried the saw puppet. I'll give you, I'll give you an easy one. And discussing the different worldviews that he had vis-a-vis arrival coach. This is an easy one. Dabo still thinks there are nine planets out there.

There are nine planets out there. No, first of all, there's no fucking way Davo believes in Pluto, first of all. Yeah, because he obeys the general consensus of the scientific community. This feels like a Steve Spurrier dig, especially considering the timing of when. Sorry, I don't buy Pluto loyalty as a slanderous term. Okay. Okay, so yes, this is indeed Steve Spurier. Y'all, I have hid toys from my nieces that displayed only eight planets.

Also, I bet Davo thinks there's one planet and it's Earth. I'm incredibly petty about this. Like, are you, are, would you say Davo believes in heliocentrism? Okay. No. That sounds Greek and therefore gay. Okay. No, he does not.

Yeah. Although I guess if he would identify, if he could identify that as Greek, that would be a huge surprise to me. Dabo is one of those guys that would be like, I don't know and I don't have to worry about it. That's none of my, you know, if he was of like a, that's none of my business. I would actually really respect that.

The number of planets in the solar system doesn't make this football team better. It just doesn't. No, no, we've never told a joke. For real, that is 100% what you would say. Brexit doesn't make this football team better or worse. I don't have an opinion on it. Yeah.

just nothing you'd be like hey man if you watch white lotus dabbo and he's like doesn't make this team better Walton Goggins existential world weariness does not improve the prospects that's close the football team we got white lotus on the schedule

didn't think so move on yeah that a brand of cigarette those aren't good for you I like dip it's healthy for real that's that's that's absolutely what he thinks How many, that was, you know those things where, actually, I guess this would be a good social vid. You remember at media days when people putting together, there were people who would come in with, like, their column pre-written, and they would ask the same question of 12 coaches in a row, just to get 12 quotes, and they would slap it into their column and irritate all of us in the process.

But the thing that I'm thinking about right now is, uh, I kind of want to go to media days now and ask every coach to name the planets. Sure. Or like, how many presidents can you name an order? Man. For fun, right? Yeah, sure. I would go simpler.

I would, maybe we should just send out an email to every SID and go, hey, how many planets this coach think there are? Oh, yeah. I would be interested to see who's a plutonian. Yeah. Or if somebody just sends back five. It's really only three you have to worry about. There's 11 planets. I only worry about what I can control and I can't control any of that.

All right. Let me, I'm going to do a little, a little bit harder for you, okay? A little bit more difficult. At the post-game handshake, in a very case. contentious game. One coach called another coach, Mr. Howdy Duty. I'm going to give you a little bit of a clue. I remember this one.

And in questioning his integrity yelled at him as he was being dragged away in the midst of multiple profanities, get in your press conference, fly boy. That was the best one. Holly, go ahead. You know this one. This would be Dave Christensen of Wyoming, who was. who was attacking Troy Calhoun of Air Force.

I only remember the first one because it was followed up with Fly Boy. Is Fly Boy a derogatory term in your head? In that sense, yes. It's not Fly Man. Oh, sure. The only other time I've ever heard it used

was obviously Princess Leia saying into the garbage shoot, Flyboy. Oh yeah, which is also... Okay, yeah, I guess Flyboy's derogatory. Mm-hmm. Although, was Dave casting himself as Leia in that moment? Ooh. Is a question that remains very much open to interpretation.

Smoldering. Mm-hmm, right? I always like that, Carrie Fisher. This one is... I don't expect you to get it because it's leading up to a wild story behind it, but if you did, I'd be really, really, really impressed. That's why I do this podcast to impress people.

Following a 7-6 victory between these two teams, one coach looked at the other and said, in what turned out to be a very loaded phrase, I believe that was the cleanest game I've ever seen. What do you think, coach? Ooh. To which the other one said, huh, oh yeah, certainly was,

but I didn't expect anything different. Did the Virginia Tech Wake Forest a game that went to zero zero over time. Did that game end 7-6? That would have... I do not recall, but it is not that game. That is a good question. I went way back.

How did Betty get down there? Maybe this is a wakey leaks kind of thing, but no, it's older than wiki leaks. So it feels like you are leaning towards like this is a rivalry game or a game that future editions would not be especially clean. previous was one of these coaches mac brown these coaches the one who said why that was a clean game wasn't it cleanest i've ever seen

what do you think that was asking a very leading question bobby dodd one of the few coaches who could consistently and with great effect piss off bear brian because last year the previous year before the 7-6 victory against the Alabama Crimson Tide. The year before that, in Alabama, in Alabama player Darwin Holt had smashed Georgia Tech's chick-graining in the face with his left elbow and forearm during a fair catch for a punt. And what was generally regarded as, quote, an unnecessary block, unquote. What the fuck did you have to do to be accused of an unnecessary block in 1962 in the SEC?

It's a great question. So, after the catch, though possibly before the referee's whistle had sounded, Holt hint-graining, leaving his feet as he drove his... This is Darwin Holt on Chick-Graining. Wow. Graining Holt hit Gaining left his feet

as he drove his arm up under the tech player's face guard. That's some Krav-M-Ga-Sh shit. Graining was helped and with Krav-M-Ga-Risults, Graning was helped off the field with injuries diagnosed later

as a fracture of the alveolar process, five missing upper front teeth, a fracture of the nose, fracture of the right maxillary sinus and the sinus filled up with blood, a fracture of the right, Zygomatic process, the bone beneath the right eye, a cerebral concussion, and in what is an astonishing seventh injury and phrase, possible fracture of the base of the skull.

Holy hell. Yes. Yes. And this was considered to be typical of Alabama's play at the time. Yes. So, in an effort to not only avenge graining, but infuriate Barrier. Bryant, more than anyone had before, Bobby Dodd created a playbook, a entire game plan designed to frustrate everything they did. Every single thing they did. And Bryant actually knew it was coming

because they passed on the first play of the game, which they never did. So they knew it. They knew it. They were like, ah, we're 100% going to get on Bobby Dodd. But all the Ultimately, he did so many things and dragged out the game and, like, played so slow that it just absolutely broke Alabama's brain and they won seven, six. So that was the little shitty remark that Bobby Dodd, meaning like, huh, that was, that was clear, clean. Wasn't it, buddy? Wasn't that just the nicest little thing we ever did? Yeah. I got another one.

This is from a very long, bitter rivalry when one, when one coach, one coach was accused of cheating and that coach responded with some coaches would rather listen to guitar pickers than work hard wow is that Mac Brown no you're in the right neighborhood

a little older than that maybe it does feel like it does feel Texasy though it does feel like you're definitely in the right neighborhood is this Spike Dikes This is

This is the words of This is Barry Switzer? Really? Who once described the feeling of beating Texas as Happier than a pig and shit on television. Did he then follow this up with It's me? I love guitar pickers.

Because like that just doesn't That doesn't sound like an insult that Barry would levy. Oh man. Man, it's so great when Barry Swissor's like, you're not taking this seriously enough. Yeah. Uh-huh. How weird.

Well, at the time, Daryl was hanging out with, among other people, yes, famed Texas attorney Joe Jamail and his bosom buddy, Willie Nelson. I was hanging out with Willie a lot. And they were often photographed together in cahoots out about on the town in Austin. And that led to this, the entire spy. gate, the original spy gate, which was OU, Texas, accusing spies of filming Texas practices. This was very biting back in the media.

Later, in an interview with the Associated Press, Daryl Royal referred to Switzer and his buddy Larry Lacewell, who he ran the program with and later his defensive coordinator later took him to the Cowboys with him, referred to both of them in an interview with the AP on the record as sorry bastards. And said he wouldn't trust him on anything. That's, that's right. That's right. Later, by the way, Barry slipped with Larry Lacewell's wife.

There it is. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. And they're still friends. Who? Who's a country song now? Which configuration of them are still friends?

Switzer and Lacewell, the dude, Larry Lacewell, they are still buddies. The old, like, Southwest's Conference, Big A, like, like, these were some of the neat. It's like he lays well. These were some of the meanest people in the world back in the day. And they all hated each other. It cannot be stated how much. Like there are a lot of good, good things to read about the death of the Southwest

Conference and this, that, the other. But what it really boils down to is they all hated each other so much constantly. Yeah. I got, I got one more. That's very funny. the who's involved. And then we will be done with this game. In a game between these two teams,

one team, the winning team, took a time out right before the final play. And then the defender on the winning team appeared to lunge. I'm sorry, on the losing team appeared to lunge at the quarterback of the winning team. The winning coach at the postgame handshake went over and gave kind of the cold fish

so much so and was so aloof at that handshake that the state trooper who was in between the two looked at the winning coach and said, are you fucking kidding me? I have never heard this one. This is recent. This is pretty recent.

Is this involved Belema somehow? Believe it or not, no. And I lied, I have one more. It doesn't involve Todd Grantham. No. I was shocked. I was shocked when I saw who this was. Okay, you were shocked.

So the losing team behavior sounds a little Greg Shiano-y, but I think that was in the NFL. I don't think that happened in college. You were shocked who this was, so that rules out in our duty. And Franklin. I'm going to tell you the two teams. Okay.

Okay. And the year. Okay. The year. Because that'll make it maybe it's, slightly easier for one. UCLA 40, Kansas State 35, 2015. Oh, Jesus.

So Snyder is back. So Snyder is the losing coach here? Yes, Snyder is the losing coach. Is that Moora at that point? Jim Moore. It's the only timeouts. No, Jim Mora had the time. So Jim Mora

had the timeout called on him. Okay, okay, gotcha. Yes. All right, had the call. And then a Kansas State defender tried to get it Brett Hunley Right, on the kneel down.

And afterwards, Mora, presumably in a tweet still up somewhere, was like, I will defend the safety of my players forever. And was such a dick at the postgame handshake that the state trooper was like,

are you fucking kidding me? Was that Morris State Trooper? That was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, I bet this is a, I bet this is in Kansas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was, that was, it was in the Alabama. Oh. Oh, that Alamo Bowl.

That's even better. Yeah. Oh, I bet Snyder wrote in the nicest letter after that. Uh-huh. Yeah. I pulled two of these from, uh, I'm writing to check upon the welfare of your bitch ass. Are you rabid? You seem.

You seemed distressed last time we met. Here's some stress management techniques. Enclosed in some ginger ale to help all your hurt tummy. Perhaps if you put in some longer hours of preparation, this kind of thing wouldn't happen to you. I have enclosed a Taco Bell gift card. The best part of Holly's right, because he might have sent this. He really might have done it in purple ink. He might have done.

I hope you and your family. we are well. Do you know what this sounds like? I think you will find it amusing. Last one. I'm very fond of this one. He's a prideful guy and he says what's on his mind

but it just hasn't worked out for him. He got his ass kicked. Ricked. He got his ass kicked. And because the winning team here, the guy who said he just got his ass kicked, the losing coach responded with

because they'd won the year before in this game. If that was an ass kicking, I'd love to see what last year was. I'm happy he got to vent. So this is because Holly mentioned Bilema, so I think Brett Bilema is one of these parties.

And the question, is this Arkansas Bailama by any chance? That's why I was guessing it was Bilema and Mark Root. Okay. I'm going to say it's somebody in the West because if they've, if he's talking about last year it's most likely somebody

who was in division at the time I will tell you that's not the case this is an out of office okay so then it's Texas so that makes it even funnier or Texas A&M it could be Texas A&M I suppose the answer it is Texas Tech and it is Cliff Kingsbury

saying that he just got his ass kicked he's a yeah man that's really he's a prideful guy and he says that's really old coded to call somebody prideful Now please imagine in Beelma's voice Him going, I'm happy he got to vent. That's healthy.

Hi, I'm Brett Beelma for better help. Oh man, breader help. Did you just get your ass kicked? You just get your ass kicked. I've been there. Call me. I'll let you vet about it. You dumb baby.

Clients like Shane Bieber have been using Breeder help for months. Have I driven a man to murderous rage just on a substitution? joke yes that's the power of breeder help you won't feel better but you will be tired you will feel breader yeah it's a sponsor of shame beamer's podcast you should listen to it because nobody does it's called cocktua feel breeder soon can you get okay is it is it kind of defying belief that we don't yet know for certain about any any major college football coach promoting their own crypto coin? Like, Lane, what are you doing, man?

Yeah, I guess, I guess Mel Tucker, it was NFTs. It was a cryptocurrency. And Mel Tucker is doing great, everyone. Definitely don't Google Mel Tucker today. Wait, what's he doing today? I don't know. Oh, okay. It has to be better than what he was doing.

I think that's the point. Great question. What is he doing? This is also a good point to let you know, Spencer. I had a dark premonition a couple of weeks ago that in two years, Cliff Kingsbury will be the head coach of the Florida Cators. Well, you felt it.

And now I've said it on this podcast with its dangerous track record of accuracy, and I'm sorry about that. I was looking for something from an earlier episode, and I did just listen to the episode today where we're like, oh, Shane Beamer, South Carolina, what the hell? Sorry about that.

I'm just glad you guys. He's a prideful guy.