Shutdown Fullcast - The Dallas Cowboys Episode / Happy Birthday Bianca

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

Parade badSmell worseGive Gravedigger a gunPre-writers bustedFun new game for first respondersWe know how to fix the NBA FinalsSouvenons-nous de quelques gars de chaiseFullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantzListen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.comCheck out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

I didn't think we would see the end point horizon of, I know it smell crazy in there in my life, but I do not, I cannot imagine knowing a place where it smells crazier in there. There's so many layers of smell of meaning. So like, I know that they're all eating way too much protein. So they've got those horrible rock, and by the rock, I mean the rock, the rock, like cod protein, level farts, like, they have to be stripping the varnish off the inside of that plywood. So the, whenever the white supremacists pile into a moving vehicle, which they used to do

with U-Hauls and based on visual evidence over the weekend, what was it a, was it a Penske, a Penske, a Penske, which has since responded by saying that, hey, the Springfield Missouri Nazis are not allowed to use Penskees now, so they're running out of vans they can use. But when they pile into these things to jump out and harass people at pride parades or whatever, they all go back in. They'll go back in once they're inevitably chased off. And then it's just like 40 dudes in khakis and masks all standing very closely inside a metal box as the sun beats down in southern Missouri. And if you're adding Dwayne Johnson farts to the mix, it's bad. I hadn't even considered that part they've also are yes spencer you've done that diet before can you and i remember

you saying things on an earlier episode about you have spoken in very vague terms about what that diet did to your body before well can you can you talk about some of the smells they might be experiencing spencer talk about your stinky ass i'm gonna i'm gonna because i remember you were saying it was like coming out of your like your skin smelled weird right you smell you smell weird if you eat that much protein like if you're at like 200 250 grams your day doctors sound off in the comments what makes spencer smell like that your guts a lot like society it needs diversity to thrive that's you know what i will say this too it's similar to being super racist it doesn't matter how much other fiber you put in your diet you're still going to smell like shit like if racism is if we're

correlating the racism to an extremely high protein intake which i'm not by the way shouts out to all my swall warriors out there currently trying to get their macros right thing. Yes, this is correct. If you're that guy and you've got that much racism in your system, it doesn't matter how much breath spray, how much organic deodorant, and by the way, the confluence of the woo-woo organic world and the white supremacist world, that, that's a, those overlapping circles are now like that. Oh yeah, Hitler was into all types of occult shit. So that this is an example

he would have used shitty deodorant that didn't work, right, Jason? Oh, Hitler's felt horrible. I just know. No, he was rubbing crystals in his armpits. Hitler smelled like a dead person. There's no way around it. This is yet another example of how bigotry hurts everyone, including its perpetrators, right? Colonization hurts everyone, including the colonists. If you're one of these racists tucked into the back of a Penske van, you have to deal with the smell of all these other racists.

You can't be just walking around on the sidewalk like a normal person, like these people enjoying pride, enjoying their summer day, what have you. They're all just walking around smelling the sunshine. That's what you do with sunshine. yes whereas whereas if you are such a racist that you need to hide in a van you are hiding in a van full of racist smells to use it to use a template that's familiar to anybody who's listening to this podcast or any sports podcast which fan base do you want to join who looks like they're having a better time these people over here barbecuing outside colorful flags having a great time hugging doing silly stuff purchasing seven dollar jugs of lemonade which i

God at a protest, by the way. I had the best lemonade I ever had in Roswell. Not Roswell. Marietta. Does it come in a plastic barrel? No, it was in a deli container with a hole punched in the top. Yeah. Yeah.

It was, and there was a whole lemon cut in half floating in the middle. It was, no, I mean it. Like, it was hot as shit. And I was exhausted. It was the best lemonade I've ever had. And I don't feel like that's a curve grading there. Yeah. They were using a container and I thought, oh, they're mixing it in a bucket.

And then they handed me the bucket and popped a hole in the top. And I was like, so good. They ain't got that shit in the Penske truck. Right. At this point, I should stop besmirching the name of Penske, which is disavowed the racists. But they ain't got that in the racist truck. Who's having a better time? Us?

Are they bringing anything? Is there even like a capricis? I didn't see a fucking cooler in there. I didn't see an outer model. They're standing. They're like these motherfuckers go up a hill. Are they all leaning against each other? This is a jackass kit.

This is the, this is the disco roller skates. it's moving. In order to solve this problem, by the way, you have to make the other problem worse because how are you, okay, so if you've got any more guys then can cling to the insides of the rails of the tie rails on the moving truck, they're going to knock around, right? The only way to create more stability in that scenario is like when you're putting crayons back in the box and they won't stand straight up until you put them all in there. But then when you pack more guys in there to make it safer to move around, you're increasing the smell. It stinks worse. It's so much hotter. It's going to be hot as fucking. there and now you're going to need enough dudes to pack each other in nice and snug now and now i'm waiting for one of them to die in there i'm waiting for one of them to just bake himself to death and his little gourd can i ask a clarifying question golly yeah when they're renting these trucks are they like purpose of visit white supremacy are they putting it on the white supremacy business card like oh i guarantee you spacing it you think you think they're just out there front street with it. Discovered it'll sue us. They're putting freedom. Freedom. Renting this

truck for freedom. That's what I'm doing. I assume they pay, you know what I bet they're doing. I bet they're paying cash and think they're being sneaky. And then they drive around in a giant yellow panel truck with a bunch of other guys dressed just like them and get out into a crowd of 800 people who all have their cell phones out and are live streaming. Great strat. A vehicle with like all sorts of serial numbers on it. And you have to show a driver's license. And probably. probably a GPS locator in the truck. Hey, we're doing.

And they don't look cool at all. These guys do not like... You know what's got to be the worst feeling? At the end, getting back into the truck. Oh. Yeah. Especially because you don't just climb back into it.

You are chased into it by the people that you believe yourself to be superior to. You are fleeing from them and piling into this van together. Back to the stick box, fellas. After you have, have walked around in the sun and become stinkier, you were getting back in.

Let's put these hot sardines back in the can. After you have enjoyed the weather of Greater Branson for an hour, you are then piling back. Hey, what if we suvaded ourselves, but we were dirty before we started? Who said, hey, by the way, who said that they didn't look cool? One guy looked cool, that's right. The one guy showed up in shorts and not khakis. There's a bunch of guys wearing khakis, and they all have their little, like, dinner plate-sized shields. Or like, no, there's what, I don't know what that, I'd have to go back and look, but there's one guy who did not get the memo.

Everyone else is wearing, like, tactical boots, which will. We think they'd want to show off all the white skin that they possibly could, like, since. We should encourage body positivity among, among white supremacists. Let's see, let's see what we're all supposed to be aspiring towards. One guy. All these dudes are frail, man. Like, if they're on the Dwayne Johnson diet, it ain't, it's for nothing. They, like, maybe they're eating, but they ain't lifting or something.

Like, none of these dudes look built. They don't have. They're not using enough gear. I'm telling you. They're not, this is why this, and you know what? You know why? Because they failed chemistry. They fail, they're not committed and they fail chemistry.

That's what, would you line all the dumb boys up? They can't measure things properly. So they don't use enough gear or they use too much. Look, if they were about it, they would bike to this rally, right? Yeah, right. Oh, man. How fucking sick would that look? A whole parade of khaki boys.

Here comes to the racist. Y'all want to be Greeks. Yeah. What would be Greeks or whatever? You should be running toward us naked. 100%. Oh, shit. Here they come.

I'm sorry. A bunch of guys, a bunch of guys who worship classical civilization. Oh, look out, boys. It's like, no,ers, not showers. Oh, my God. A child threw a stick in the road, and now we have a pile up of racists. They should show up to a pride parade and be like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You guys look real cute in your little matching uniforms. Imagine being in a, just hopping into a pride parade. right under all the previous circumstances you're hot and you're mad as hell and all of a sudden the most beautiful drag queen you've ever seen comes up and she's like you know you're kind of dizzy from the heat and from not hydrating and you know she she's got butterfly wings on and your vision's kind of swimming and she puts a hand on your shoulder and she goes I hope you get the affirmation you deserve today I see well we lost another one I'm going with her

everybody getting the racist truck we lost Connor God damn it I knew he was... Oh, the siren song of amethysts has wooed another one of ours away. That's Springfield's like that, man. It's sexy. If you're going to go try to fuck up Springfield, you better bring some boys who were equipped to deal with the temptations. He fell prey to the hydrocrats. She smelled good and she was sympathetic.

There we were. Across the street from the Hardies, across the street from the Hardys. And I saw her and I decided I'm not racist anymore. Nobody but nobody, not a scoutmaster, not the most intrepid football team mom, not a rugby coach at a private school. Nobody is better prepared to deal with a bunch of confused dudes who maybe smell not at their best than an experienced club drag queen. Nobody. She has been there. There we were across the street from Jerry Falwell's alma mater when I decided they're having a lot more fun.

outside of the truck than we are in the race. Imagine getting this box truck after the white supremacists with anything. You're just trying to fucking move a couch or so shit. You're like, oh my God. Imagine being the employee who's checking it, right? And you raise the back, does the cloud

knock it over? Yeah. He's got to fucking fumigate the thing with a flamethrower. Why does my couch smell like gorilla mine supplements? You know what else is great too about Penske? And I think U. Hall was first to ban. Although, how, you know how they ban these guys who actually knows but we're getting closer closer to a scenario

where they have to be like mom can you come pick me up they're going to start a my pillow of racist trucks like just the racist truck company just for racists uh-huh but you know like what if the rates are good and you're like fuck do i do i use the rate the best price please don't use the racist trucks i just make it on the side there and i want a metal You Hall's got the facts from every state This one's got facts about Quote Fingers facts about like First Century Rome or whatever

It's got GROC facts GROC truck Let's go I'll fire up GROC I'll make some money off these folks That's TRUK I assume Yeah

Not too be confused with Gronk truck No no no we'll do it with a cyber truck And they'll just be like four dudes laying down in the back Because that's all that can fit cybor truck is this a thing I guess it's already the thing no that's rubber stamped

approved thank you I love our we um at the the protest we went to there was one angry person it was this like teenage boy everything was cool and chill whatever there was one teenage boy we saw my sign that said

Trump is robbing you and this kid just about dove out of this truck to fight me. No, it's not! Oh, all right. Well, you've convinced me. I was convinced, but then a lunatic jumped out of a truck and started to screaming coherently at me. Hang, never mind then.

Frankly, I'm pretty persuaded. Embrace debate at these fists. It's a trenching argument, Dylan. It's better than the ESC a half-time show all the same. It was a busy weekend where a lot of stuff was going on, and additionally, nobody was in Washington, D.C., where Reddit has determined that there may have been about 25,000 people at the Hot Wheels being rolled past the board platform full of, like, eight sad people. Folks, did you see the latest? Did you see the latest on this? What's that? As a Daily Beast story that dropped this afternoon, because it's a Daily Beast story, I didn't read it all the way to the end.

but the big fella is mad not because the troops were unprepared clearly not into this clearly not into the marching and formation part but because he saw video I guess and I assume you guys have two of the tank lieutenants and stuff who were sitting on top of the of the big apparatus is you know waving to kids and stuff

like one does in a parade and he is mad at the troops who were smiling and waving at the the crowds because he wanted uh he wanted this to be a serious parade he is mad about the feelings that the parade did not have the correct feelings for our for our big gilded boy it was supposed to be scary this is like this is maybe the most toddler shit he's ever done and i'm including the catch up on the wall situation no this was a happy parade i wanted a sad i i wanted a mad parade yeah i mean this this is special even like i my troops are too happy we a four seasons total landscaping is on the horizon i think we're i don't know if we'll ever

top it i don't know if we'll ever top it but yeah but you know what this was this was this was this was a harbinger good for that soldier who had to hold up the drone that was good yeah i liked that that was this you know he had to hold it up walking spencer you made a you made a good point very early on in the festivities on saturday that i don't think that i don't think i don't I think I had thought of before. And I certainly haven't seen covered in the lamestream media, which is, how do you throw a parade with this many tanks in it and not get our nation's four-year-olds out in force? And I'm talking about the 48-year-old, four-year-olds down to the actual four-year-olds.

Yeah, in the sense that ladies can be uncles to any man can be a four-year-old. Yeah, the Vroom Americans, if you will, right? You didn't get any of these people. Like, all you really needed to do was target this parade at toddlers, and you would have had capacity, right? No, I'm saying, if you branded this parade... 200,000 toddlers and adult toddlers. If instead of calling this a big beautiful parade, you had called it cars and trucks

and things that go, do you know that, like, they would have packed the city? I mean, they said, they said, this shit's gonna have so many tanks who's gonna fuck up D.C. forever, blah, blah, blah. And you look at shit, it's like, six tanks? Six, six tanks? In Sherman's. That's like, in any military strategy game, that's a unit. You know what I mean? Like, oh, okay, you spawned one tanks.

and it's just a tank going straight on a street it's not it's not it's not crushing a car it's not holy fuck it was there now it's there you're also letting down the demo of people who could have come to dc to be like oh man i want to see the tanks crush the streets i want to watch the sewer systems collapse those people exist yeah at least one of them is on this podcast this wasn't this was neither this was neither like behold the military might of the u.s army nor was it it's monster Jam military style. It was a dumb third thing. Who wants to see a tank roll

over the cars belonging to senators? Who's not showing up for that shit? Yeah, the Grave Digger. Colonel Grave Digger for this. Grave Digger of tanks. You can commission Grave Digger? There's no, they're getting tech pros in the army now anyway.

Yeah, sure. Paint a tank like Grave Digger. Shit. Make Grave Digger a tank. Exactly. Put a gun on. grave digger. Give me that monster

truck that looks like a dog with the big flappy ears. Grave digger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Full locked-moded grade. Yeah.

Tell Trump, that's a troop. Like, yeah, that's part of it. And he'd be like, oh, okay. It's so beautiful. I also, was there anything particularly gaudy about the parade? Like, there's no gold down. No.

So already you're not even living up to like the promise of what no limit can do. Holly, you're music. Exactly. Yeah. The brand stance weren't even. fancy. It's not some shit where it's like, oh, wow, we're wasting tons of money, but at least it looks expensive. Right. It's not like, oh, here's, like, why couldn't there have been a

giant army cake that one of the tanks blew up? That would have been something, like, there's, there's no content. There's no content in this parade. Since it's a quote-unquote birthday party, a cake so large that a tank pops out of it and does a dance. That'd be great too. Tank and a bikini. Yeah, brave digger The tank in a bikini That is gold in honor of no limit records Really showing your blind spots there, pal I'm listening and learning every day

There was nothing there was nothing like special Like there wasn't even an attempt to bring out a tank And claim it was a new tank You know? It was the NBA finals problem There's no branding Like if you looked at this in a vacuum You're like what's special about this?

Yeah Yeah. You know what? Do you know what looked better than the parade? The lines of vehicles, because they were closer together and in better sequence, coming into D.C. All right. That looks cool. I want to be very careful about what I'm doing here because I'm not defending the current administration and I'm not trying to do that.

Oh, dang. That's an assumption that I was prepared to make about you, so I'm going to have to set that aside. Is it possible that we have seen too much cool shit in the Fast and the Furious franchise to be impressed by regular tank just rolling? down the street fast and furious never had a military parade i don't blame fast and furious for this but but but like do you do you think we've seen like too much cool shit with vehicles in that series to just be like oh driving normally is fun i think a point i think i would make there is whoever designed this parade if their goal was anything other than embarrassing the president they should have designed it with that in mind right okay like you know what i mean

Like, they should have known that they are in a post-action movie era and simply rolling out a tank first commissioned in 1942 is not going to cut it. Now, if you drop that fucker from the sky with a parachute and say, I don't know how this is going to go. And ludicrous is in it. If ludicrous is in the tank with like, you tell me Tyrese wouldn't have been in this parade? Unfortunately, Tyrese might have been in this parade. I will as the reigning fast and furious scholar of this bunch I will say that that's quite a claim ma'am let's go let's go short answer trivia let's go so I want to hear what you had to say all right as somebody who's at least a podium finisher in the fast and furious scholars quiz bowl here among this group I

will also say that at this point in the movies you have a couple of problems when trying to put on a distinct show if you were taking this into consideration. I'm not sure I buy that Fast and Furious has ruined us for any of this because, A, at this point, it's very difficult to remember which episode had, you know, the submarine under the ice

and which episode had, can you remember offhand, like Ryan, Ryan Spencer, your normal people, sort of. Can you guys remember offhand which movie was guys, they got a tank? And also, so there's that problem.

So there's a problem of specificity of placing it within time and space because there have been so many wondrous sequences in the Fast and Furious, a near perfect franchise that they all do sort of start to run together at this point. The second thing is, is that within the universe of the film itself, in terms of actual military vehicles seen and operated, there's not that many. Okay. Yeah. Like if G.I. Joe had, if G.I. Joe had run for this long, for this many films, then I could see like a semantic satiation of sorts. maybe taking hold in terms of, you see one tank parade, you see in all, you see in a mall. But like Fast and Furious tends to put in, they tend to use military vehicles like saffron. Like they're in there for a punch, but they're not the whole point of the thing.

I guess I would say like we in 2025, we have all seen action shit our entire lives in action movies. And this parade was designed by someone who still thinks it's 1950-ish because his brain hasn't gotten. any new software since 1980-ish so like he doesn't know action movies exist he doesn't know anything about anything all he knows is if it make it look like what they did in this other country it'll look tough but he loves kickboxer why why not just to do a kubitay instead of the parade no specific no specifically ryan he likes fast forward and has mentioned it by i'm sorry Which is one of those things where you go, I got to give it to it.

You guys think the program. That is an incredible movie. Do you guys think the programmers at like TBS know the power they hold right now? Yes. 100%. Like we haven't had an executive order bringing Spike TV back, but that has to be soon, right? No, I think if they put speed on, he'll be like, that's it.

We're shutting down all L.A. buses are done. Finally. The bus was delightful. The public transport was bad. The buses are out of control. Finally, a relatable action. That the current press of the United States would just stop everything and be like, oh, God, oh God, bloodsports on TNT. We got to turn it over.

We got to flip over. And I know that we're, I know that we've moved, unfortunately, well past the idiocracy as real and into the more insidious, but much more dangerous and realistic Veep is real territory. But that's such a direction. lift. I am, I am confident anytime something happens in the Middle East, someone in the white house is like, quick, put true lies on. We need to get him in the right minds. Oh, like that's a jet, like they put jangling keys above his crib. Oh, my God, do you think, like, yeah, because whoever, I don't know if the White House has cable. I imagine that would be a security risk. Uh, like, I don't know if they're running off like a Plex or some shit.

Yeah. If you know this, please sound off in the comments. But you have to imagine that, that in perhaps like as an analog to the Diet Coke button in the Oval Office, there is a button in like Stephen Miller's office that just says escape from New York. It's like, oh shit, we got to play the schmaltziest, corniest musical song we can to calm down the big fella right now. We need it stat. I'll pretend I dropped in the names of whatever those songs are.

I have a theory on why my additional theory on why the parade is that we collectively have a fatigue of the military industrial complex, not because of any general responsible social consciousness around our over-reliance on the military as a source of cultural identity, right? But this, we've played too much call of duty. That's it. You have people who are like, hey, don't you want to watch a military parade? And they're like, no, I've seen too much.

were you in the military I've done too much time no no I've just done too much time I've spent too much time in Newtown I've lost a lot of good troops out there I've called in a lot of gunships I've got a lot of kill streaks

it's it for you it's something to celebrate you don't remember me it's something I wish I could forget you don't remember the cry of the zombies you haven't I saw my neighbor's face when I gunned down that zombie I knew I had to do it

You haven't You haven't ever seen the look on a gamer's face When you kill him with a throwing knife From halfway across the board Yeah There I was on a kill streak When all of a sudden What should happen

But mom made me log off I don't even think he had fun No I don't look fun at all Look like a wet cat Like I don't know why We couldn't have just been like Ladies and gentlemen

Please rise for Duke Newcomb, and he could have been like, that's right, Duke Newcomb's at my birthday party. What of this? The real guy. A friend of mine. The real guy. They treated him so very unfair, delaying his game for 30 years.

They wouldn't hail to the king, baby, but now they will. He would talk about how. Oh, my God, it's Johnny Bravo. He was there to chew ass and kick bubble gum. But then he said he was all out of ass, so they'd just have to Kick bubble. And here's his close friend Joe Biden ran out of us.

Saved us from hell. No thanks. No love. It was hard as all the studio chiefs have been working to bend themselves fully in half backwards to suck this guy's dick. It kind of is incredible and telling on their part that they, no one could be bothered to hire any actual talented event professionals. Oh.

He put this thing on. He's the devil. He's a bad guy. He's on Mars. He's not that. He's too. fucking boring to be the devil the list of people who hate this guy extends all the way up to everyone who made the decisions about this parade like this this parade is just like we fucking

hate this guy set to um a totally misunderstood credence song yeah at this point the uh how did the question of who here hates that guy is how do literally everyone how do how do you mount a military parade that can compete with I've fought terrorists on a space station in first person like it's caught

you just can't like call of duties it's ruined the spectacle for everybody they're like but they should have just leaned into the spectacle and they should have just been like oh look and here come

the xenomorphs and just had a bunch of fucking pasting guys holy shit it's Pikachu it's Predator and he has a gift for our president oh no it's the guy it's the guy from

Wolfenstein. He doesn't like the president. Predator has brought me, Joe Biden's spied because he didn't need it anymore and I love that predators respect me doing many deals with the Predator Nation. The Predators. It's just like an ox tail

they bought. It's Joe Biden's fine. Finally, tariffs have taped the Predators where the Army could only try. Thank you Gargamel for kneeling before me. We have the thing. He's living inside Seb Gorka's skull right now. How many different people

could you think he would have, like, because it's you see Stephen Miller every day, you're going to have to go pretty hard to convince him that somebody else is IRL Gargamel. That's fair. Or just Stephen just like put on a robe. Stephen Segal's here, talented chef. Appreciate his

work. The size of a tank. Leading action star, Bobby Flay. Love him. several mcmans no that part's real mcmend yeah that's oh god like i i don't know if i'll ever get overseer that guy holding up the drone though god what a beautiful sight wait i don't know what you're talking about so there's a guy to represent the drone core oh like he had to hold it up in the parade he's holding it up like mario holding a penguin he's holding it aloft like he's making

yeah noises that is quite literally what we were doing like it's bad enough that we live in hell but it also has to be dumb hell like we were just playing airplanes for the leader of the free world oh this got a lot less fun yeah it's not cool hell it's not like like you look at like a russian military i was told there would be reaper it's like god damn they got oh it's wall to wall soldiers and tank and fucking huge missile launchers this is what he had in mind but no I will also say, like, most of the mainstream media reporting on this was, like, impressive display of military, like, massive... That's a pre-written post right there. A hundred percent! That's right! That's a pre-write that nobody wanted to go back and edit!

I am so glad somebody else thought that because everybody was really mad about that, and I understand why, and I was like, it's Father's Day. It was that. And it was that. You had the same time, you had, like, massive military fortitude, and... thousands protest Trump like bitch there were thousands in florence alabama there were thousands outside of conservative megachurches i i would contrast this it really should have worked an event and you have to be super super crappy at everything to make it fail because i saw in relatively unorganized protests that were extremely enthusiastically attended what did i witness what did i see from adults and then hear reports of around the nation that's right people cheering trucks big

vehicles yeah every time there was a big lot of that in may right especially yeah like you get you get the f-250 come by and you're like oh boy it's but there's that dual thing right where it's like oh here's this is going to be the motherfucker who flips us off but then they honk that counts like 10fold right we got a big fucking truck on our side we had my that is what the trump parade lacked no big fucking trucks At ours, it was, at one point, there was a big box truck going, Pat, not a Penske, mind you, but just a big box truck. And that dude laid on that horn, it was like, oh, my God, we fucking won. We got that big ass truck in this little ass downtown. What do they got?

They got a golf cart. The protests we were at was also a block from the fire station. And the firefighters had all, you know, as firefighters are tend to do, if you've ever seen firefighters hanging out in a city. Maybe they do this in small towns, too. I don't know. But firefighters here like to just drag their chairs out into the driveway when the driveway is not full of fire trucks and kick back. All the firefighters were just like arrayed out on the sidewalk,

just kicking back, waving at kids. It was a jolly good time. The firefighters did that here recently a couple weeks ago for CMA Fest, which we don't have to get into CMA Fest. You all having trucks. Another whole podcast, brother. Is this a mobile event, Ryan? Speaking of giant trucks filled with racists.

CMA. They, the fire, one of the fire stations near downtown, they were all just out on the front lawn, just kicking back and like watching people go by. This was at like 5.30. And it was great because you knew in their heads, they were also like, oh, we're going to have to, we're going to have to deal with so many of you later. For now, we're going to enjoy watching. Do you think they're tagging people for later and like making bets like ponies? Here's the time when you pick your horse. We'll be seeing them again.

They might as well give people those like little buzzers you get at. At a restaurant or so let me know when you're ready. I'm going to tag you like a bear. That's a business idea. No, you put like a raspberry pie in that thing? That's right. That's right. I would just spray paning them like polar bears at a dump and be like, we're observing 33 here.

What a mask of honor that would be. You see how bad ass the fire department. Thanks I am. Hey man, check it out. fire department says, I'm fucking trouble. I got an F for fall risk. Don't you fucking talk to my boyfriend? I'm spray-painted.

That F stands for fine. My F stands, fuck you. He says B for bidey. Welcome to the shutdowns every time When there's ever a time when someone's listening like, What is the name of this fucking show? Why won't they tell me? This is the shutdown forecast.

Oh, damn it's not this American life. Oh, damn it! Which, mind you, Spencer, and I have been always as I'm required to mention. Welcome to the Daily. I'm Michael Barbaro. The dumbest boy alive. This is the dumbest boys alive episode.

They're all here. Do protest have a truck problem? Anyway, let's start our Dallas Cowboys episode. Halpathy of Cowboys I'm special all Oh shit before I forget I'm sorry It is a holiday

No go ahead Today as of our recording Tuesday June 17th It is Longtime stalwart reader Bianca's birthday Happy birthday Bianca She is 41 today

And a proud PTKU fan Go Blue Sharks Go Bianca Happy birthday No one has ever As far as I know contacted the show

To ask that we celebrate their birthday specifically we've had people ask about it for other people but no one has ever said hey it's my birthday if you're recording the show and good on you Bianca we respect that ask for what you want we hope you get everything

you want this year. We cannot promise we will ever do this for anyone else The answer for the next person who asks this is no No you should have had Bianca's good idea first You should have been Bianca Sorry that's right Because it's Bianca's birthday, it's not yours Also because you're not as special

And I think in your heart you already know that If you ask us to do this this we will merely congratulate Bianca again. Oh, I like that. Yeah, additional birthday wishes for her every time you ask for one. They stack. They accumulate. That's right. It's like the good version of Scott Frost Day. And on Bianca's birthday, too. How could you do this? Sometimes we do actually introduce ourselves. I'm Spencer Hall. Mr. Business, staying on task. Oh, hey, guys. Spencer wants us to get back in the lane. Staying on Target. Sorry, sir. Sorry, sir. Sorry, sir. When I'm right, I'm right.

Joined by Ryan Nanny, Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and Michael Serbert on the ones. Wedge Antilles thinks our strategy needs work. Wedge was the number two for a reason, okay? Wow. Yeah. I know. I know. Cult figure, but I'm going to expose him here.

That's a yes man. Wow. Did Wedge have any? You don't think he's a glue guy? He is now. He's a glue guy, but don't tell me he's an alpha. Don't tell me he's the leader. Don't tell me he's going to get this team to the finals.

If that were true, it would have happened. Finally, Stephen A. Smith takes Wedge down a notch. A Pippin. A Pippin next to a Jordan. That's what he is. Not that wrong with being a Pippin? In 2023 on it is, there is something. At times, there's something wrong with being a Pippin.

All right, the hand clasped meme, Wedgantilly, Stephen A. Smith, that's impossible even for a computer. Wedge couldn't listen, something else in coming, couldn't carry an NBA halftime show either, so that got something else would come. It's bad vibes. It is bad. It is bad. Like, the fact, we're recording this after game five of the NBA finals, which have been very entertaining. And the fact that at halftime, Stephen A. Smith basically had to say, I'm glad Tyrese Albert and got hurt because that explains why he's playing like shit. sucks i hate him it's like this is so deeply we are haters but you listen to us on a podcast we

put craftsmanship into it we do not make a hundred million dollars no no our job is not our job is not to keep you engaged in the middle of the NBA's championship like we could be dumbass haters off to the side and that's fine to get on TV and just be like these guys suck and they don't wanted enough and I'm having a bad mood because there was too much pepper you know it's just it's so unpleasant it's who is it for god it's kind of like a cat that is eating a grapefruit enva media is so good at this like shack who is exhausted from uh having to do a thousand commercials per day or else he will die um it's just you know like the number of times you just said like i don't know anything about that team and just sort of like as if it's fine to know nothing about that team the t and t

he guys kind of do this too, but they do it in my opinion a much funnier way. Instead of just being like, he's a coward, he doesn't really want to win for his team. Charles Barkley will say wild shit. Like, he's shooting too many free throws. Isn't that hope to him? He doesn't get to decide how many free throws he shoots. The problem with his game right now is that he's ugly. Yeah, there's the context of inside the NBA where anything they say there is great and wise and then there's also Shaq off on the side saying like I only get to care about like two teams

yes the problem is not Shaq and not even them they don't have me Shack's like I did four podcasts today and all of them are problematic I'm very lonely yeah and now we go to Shaq our loneliness

corresponding how are you I'm huge and I'm lonely everyone besides me over 6-9 is terrible because they have friends y'all big's the only friend I have ever had. They made him for me. Find a bigger friend for Shaq.

He's so big. He makes me look like the rock. But like there are good, there are really good studio shows on ESPN. They know how to do them. They're good. They do good work, man. That's the thing that makes this one feel extra stupid. There's like you could, you could swing a dead cat in that arena and hit five people who could do that job better. So, so Spencer and I have a solution to this problem.

Oh, God. the second Jimmy Butler's team is an eliminated from the playoffs and most of the time it's not it's just tag him in oh no just put him in there Jimmy Butler will say whatever he wants he'll fucking make coffee on television if you ask him to I've heard the coffee's good yeah the coffee that he made at the coffee company that he started in the bubble oh it's quite good I've had a big face you know he'll cause friction you know he'll talk some shit he's not supposed to talk it will at least be interesting he might show up in a wig yeah it'll be a He'll do bits.

It'll be a lot better than like, all right, it's time for 10 minutes of Kendrick Perkins pouting over nothing. Like, yeah, like, we got three minutes to kill. Jimmy, can you sing? He can you sing? Yeah, sure. He'll do a number. Yeah.

Yeah. Jimmy, can you paint how you feel about how the first half went? Sure. Absolutely. He could be Bob Ross. He can probably do puppets. He does a lovely shine on heart. We could have him bake a cheesecake.

I was saying just get the key. Get a bunch of cards. Yeah. Right? that we were saying this last night get a bunch of cards that are just the questions Jonathan Frakes asks right

Jimmy Butler and then that's just interrupting Interrupting Perk being miserable and just going do you have a pet Yeah just do all of the beyond belief questions right just get them on a card be like when Kendrick Perkins is like Yeah I think Tyrese Halliburton's a bitch

You're like okay here Hey have you ever gone mountain biking Can you remember the tallest man you've ever seen? Hey fellas great game tonight You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? Planning a trip soon? Have you ever noticed what big stars real estate agents have become? Wait until this deck gets really quiet and then just go,

would you ever spend a night in a graveyard? Yes, yes. How much money would it take you to spend a night in a cemetery? Carl Sparkley immediately from the other end. I feel like I just did. Do you believe, here, sports relevant question? Jimmy Butler, do you believe in the power of a curse? Like, these are all actual questions that would be better than anything that they discussed on that show.

So much better. You're right. Yes. Yes. It's an easy fix. Jimmy Butler plus any prompt possible. Any prompt. It's like,

platonic friends with a Vulcan? And then for the whole, for the whole play-in round, which is always the Hawks and the Heat and the Bulls and one other team, it's just like, oh my God, I hope Jimmy gets knocked out so he can improve this rest of the fucking show. Yes.

Yeah. And you want to talk about, like, by the way, you want to reflect the energy back that the audience is giving you, Right? Like, I feel like NFL shows, there's a lot of energy. How does it want to be directed? You're going to kind of have to speak some dumb guy. We need 13 white guys behind a big desk. They all got to be rectangular.

This is why Terry Bradshaw. Smash together on stage like that. I'm going to want them to be dancing to raise a barn. This is why Terry Bradshaw is perfect for NFL halftime show because it's just like, here's a thing guy who's going to make loud. No, no, but he's got loud noises and he's happy to be there. And he's like, bad they threw the ball? and they scored, and then they didn't. Watch this.

That's why 1713. Hey, watch this. It's like he's doing a barbecue commercial, but it doesn't matter. Yeah. He is bringing room American energy. In college football world, we have Mark Ingram for this role. Look at this shit. You need to look at this shit guy.

And sometimes Mark Ingram does things like, look at that. He's on his toilet swag, flush, flush. And you're like, what? Randy Moss was great at this on television. Yes. Yeah. I want, you need to reflect the energy that the crowd gets and the NBA. This is the thing.

The NBA as a fan base, funny as hell, real smart about the NBA, maybe not about everything. You're a big audience. It's the bell curve. You got some dumb asses out there. But even the dumb asses have definite opinions about what the NBA is and isn't. And you should reflect that energy. And I feel like you do that a lot better. If you get the guy that Jeff Teague was like, this man's crazy.

Get him on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, speak to your people, and your people want energy, and they want to be very enthused about things, but I think they also, they want kind of a lunatic. You need a lunatic. It's like, Jeff Teague, what do you think the Thunder got to switch up in this second half? Well, here comes a seven-minute story about,

that happened in 2011. That's what it is. That's all I wanted to hear. Like, these guys are the Joker, and right now the ESPN halftime show is, All, like, Sal Maroney's thugs. All Batman. Yeah.

Tyree's Halliparton. I'm coming for you. That's what it felt like. I'm not wearing basketball shorts. Like, you compare to what, like, the L. Duncan crew does on the women's side? Yeah, yeah. Not even close. Like, the energy should be Candice Parker and Shaq.

They're awesome. The softball crew is awesome. The baseball crew is all, like, like, they do. a lot of these good kind of shows. And yet, when the NBA rolls around, in stark contrast to the other marquee show built around as a shoulder show around NBA action, as they start contrast to that, it's two of the grumpiest dudes in the world. But even the NFL, like, has the decency to, like, when the game is on, there is, like,

an enthusiasm there. Like, the NFL can get real bogged down on two. Tuesday. In the NFL, everyone, but Al Michaels is here to sell the product. Al Michaels will never bullshit you. This guy sucks. Welcome back to Baltimore. That's because Al Michaels is 98 years old.

But, like, the NBA, it's so many of them, there is no interest at all in selling you on the product, which to some degree you could say, oh, that's honest. But no, it's not honest. They're shitting on the product. The product's great. And like the money. Granted, if the Hornets are playing, then yeah, don't sell me on that. But otherwise, the money and the prestige isn't even like the issue in terms of like, oh, please, we are to be taken seriously because the sport that is actually the sport involving the most money and the most eyeballs,

i.e. the E.P.L or international soccer has some of the most roundly unsurious coverage you have ever seen in your goddamn life. It's beautiful. The CBS Premier League coverage, right? It was like Kate and Terry on Reef. and care and I'm forgetting our fourth here. They're fantastic, but they're utterly on serious. They're very, like, they're very MBA on TNT. And that goes for a lot of soccer media. Like, if there is a super serious soccer show, I've never seen it and never want to see it

because if you go to like the number one Italian soccer show, it's like two 60-year-old men in suits threatening to stab each other over a game. And we don't have that. and it's ridiculous that we would. And they need that because the rest of Italian life is so insurious that they need soccer. Right. That's all they have.

They get some guy, like, here it would be like, oh, we're so concerned about objective, about journalism, objectivity, right? I'm not going to pick this game because I'm going to be calling it. And in Italy, they'd be like, I am putting 5,000 lira on A.C. Milan, on air. It's fine. It's fine. Don't act like it isn't. So, yes, this is our Cowboys episode, which. should have been obvious and how so really i just wanted to talk about this note just a note

okay which is from the from espion's analysis of the george pickens to the Dallas cowboys trade witches so the steelers made the evaluation that george pickens and aaron rogers probably would not hit it off most people do so so what they do about that so they they they think they they pickins went to the cowboys i want to back back up real quickly was erin rogers an active member of the pittsburgh sealers roster at the time of this so glad you asked no no he was not were they on the hook were they on the hook for him for millions of dollars in cap space in some way shape or form not at that time did they somehow know that they might be in the quarterback market it could have done something i don't know in the draft or with literally

any other free agent? They were very aware of that right. They were waiting the entire time for Aaron Rogers in fact. Okay gotcha. Thank you. That's helpful context. They went and got weird Russell Wilson, aka Aaron Rogers. What a phrase. Oh, by the way, have we, did we have any update on woman who has agreed to marry him a totally normal way of phrasing that headline? I still think he's marrying an AI. She's organic. She's organic. her name's brittney she greets me in the morning britney britney britney i brit gpt there we go no we have no update on that all i do know is that

i feel very vindicated every time i see george pickens because the first time we saw george pickams in a college football sense was when he was getting into a fight in the georgia Georgia Tech game and in the middle of what was you know it's unusual when we have an actual fight in college right like an actual like oh they're punching up under the helmet these guys are actually trying to harm each other instead of breaking their hands on the outside of their helmets when George Pickens did the oh looky here boss rooten move and decided to throw the Georgia Tech player into a brick wall in the middle of the fight and you go everything I've seen from him since it's totally

validated the like hell yeah you create a fresh page in your draft notebook at that point and you just write his name at the top and then you just wait he's went draft him what's he gonna do stuff he's gonna he's gonna do football stuff for you anyway that's cool of the Steelers to give him to Dak Prescott a team that I know that they want to support it's very George Pickens though because in his nonlinear career in the nonlinear life of George Pickens, you go, oh, God, he's going to get, you know, he's going to get balls from Dak Prescott. He's going to, he's going to be way more productive.

Uh-huh. O'Contraer, head coach Brian Shottnheimer. Man. All pro status achieved, not so fast! It is a thing where, like, George Pickens is one of, a number of Steelers receivers that people around the NFL have said, like, yeah, okay, it's, it's fine to let that guy move along. He's, is a bit of a personality.

and it's fine if that is the rationale but then to add errant rogers is suggesting that like do you want head cases or not not i'm not using that term for george pickens i just know that that is how people have described him i don't personally care it's going to go awesome it's going to go so great it always says there's no reason to think that it won't Aaron Rogers. I can't wait for Pittsburgh fans to turn on him, which I think has happened like immediately. I don't think this is like,

hey, that's our guy. I think Pittsburgh fans to this point are like, oh, no. It's very different than going to the Jets where like all Jets. I'll give Jets fans this. They understand what the Jets are. They have a like, if you want to have fun, ask a Jets fan in June or July, how many games the Jets are going to win next year.

they'll always say nine or ten they'll give you some crazy fucking number but deep in their hearts they understand that that's wrong and nonsense and and that the jets are like a cursed object to be avoided at all costs the steelers expect to make the a fc championship like the the bar is just very very different and what Spencer off the top of your head what's the rough age difference between Aaron Rogers and George Bickens? I believe it is 17 years. Cool. Awesome.

An entire adult between them. Yeah. You have one who listens to far too much NBA young boy, right? And does WWE moves on the field for no reason in the middle of a play. And then you have the other one who has already blown up his Achilles and is like seconds away from just starting the worst podcast network you've ever heard of. And looks, man, he looks old. It's like, that doesn't necessarily matter, but he does not look.

At no point are you like, oh, yeah, I see it. He's still there. Nope. Still got it. Maybe is, is he doing a Brian Johnson thing? But in reverse where he's like, I'm trying to be the oldest man for my age on the planet. I'm trying to take treatments to turn me into, to give me the wisdom of the ancients.

I'm trying to die of old age as young as possible. I like, he's trying to require the wisdom, right? Last year, you know, as his, as his, like, nine injuries healed up, there were flashes, you know. And he was playing for the fucking jets. Like, this could go okay. This could go okay. But they went five and twelve. They went five and twelve.

Yeah, yeah, the quarterback was hurt like 17 times. His last year in Green Bay, they went eight and nine. This shit is not going to fly in Pittsburgh. Where they expect to make the playoffs and then immediately leave the playoffs. Miles Garrett has already said he wants to fold them into a tiny box. Listen, the important thing is that their closest geographical rival is also laid low at this point. So they definitely don't have that to think about. How are they doing?

Go birds. You play in a division with the Baltimore Ravens and the Cincinnati Bengals and the Cleveland Browns. I mean, even the Browns were like, fuck it. We'll just draft eight quarterbacks instead of signing Aaron Rogers. What, especially what made you want to talk about this to date you set of curiosity? Because George Pickens is fascinating to me. Okay, gotcha. Happy, hey, happy birthday, George Pickens.

The two of you. It's the feast of St. Pickens. That's right. Yeah. This is just to say when people go, oh, man, when's the Georgia Whiteout really going to make his impact on the league? And I'm like, George Pickens makes a... Oh, man. I had to look up his birthday, which is March 4th, but then I injured myself by seeing the year after that, which was 2001.

That's upsetting. Don't like that. Yeah. Don't like that at all. It's fine. It's cool. Look what you did, Aaron. Aaron Rogers, yeah, I smoked cigarettes out of a bong to increase the tar intake because, you know, I want the wisdom of the ancients.

It's like if Yerba Mata was a person. Yeah. Scientists tested me. I'm actually 83. but that puts me closer to monkhood I've managed to double my biological age I am pretty convinced at this point Aaron Rogers picked the Steelers

specifically because of all the attention he will get because of their schedule do you know where they open hmm on the road against the Jets no they open on the road against the Jets that's week one do you and this is not a rhetorical question do you think Aaron Rogers

picked the Steelers or do you think that is what he could get? He had a very short list of options. Yeah, it wasn't like he had a smorgas board to choose from. No, but like, I don't know. I think the fucking Colts would have taken Aaron Rogers over Daniel Jones. Oh, gross.

I hate all of these choices. But I think it didn't hurt that they're playing the Jets on the road to start the season. The Steelers host the Packers just before Thanksgiving. They're going to get all the attention, like, they're going to get They're playing the rest of the NFC North as well, so he's going to get, oh, it's

Arden Rogers versus the Bears again. Oh, remember that time he beat the Vikings. Hmm. Yeah. It does line up very well from a, oh, God, we have to hear about this guy. Oh, we're going to, it's going to be so much Aaron Rogers discussion. It's going to be disgusting. I love the framing of a Jets game, by the way.

It's a revenge for paying me. All my haters are going to see what a special boy I am. There's a lot of that going around. Wow. Aaron Rogers internet traffic is funny Because like yeah it's a big name It does well Like casuals read about Aaron Rogers

But it's also You really have this sense that people are exhausted But they just do it anyway Like no one's like oh hell yeah Aaron Rogers Time to get to the fucking read about Aaron Rogers minds Gotta wake up Gotta feed the dog

Gotta water the plants Got to read the Aaron Rogers news Yeah I fixed that front on the back 40 And then I searched Google News For Aaron Rogers How I maximize by day by hiring a bunch of Indonesian orphans to read Aaron Rogers blogs for me. Every day I go out and mine crypto and I read about Aaron Rogers.

I bet if you're big into LinkedIn, you are big into Aaron Rogers news. Let's find out. Looking up the internet on the show. Aaron Rogers just does things too. Thinking about current quarterbacks. Yeah, you can search just for posts. Okay, here we go. Thinking about current NFL quarterbacks in terms of LinkedIn power.

I mean, Jack Prescott is not very LinkedIn. No, Dak Prescott, massive. This dude's out here saying like we hired the Marines to teach us out of sleep. Shit like that. Uh-huh, yeah. Russell Wilson, obviously, very LinkedIn quarterback. Among the youngsters, I'm going to go J.J. McCarthy just because I've seen him doing like yoga under the goalpost. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But I think photos of that would do well on LinkedIn. I think that's true. I think Baker Mayfield's going to sneak in. there. Hmm. Yeah. Okay. Because he's got a brand. Uh, Baker Mayfield can, Baker Mayfield can be crypto LinkedIn, I bet. Like LinkedIn user who won't stop talking about crypto. Uh, let's put Kyler Murray in there. Cause like, he does, he does grind. He does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, there, but he's definitely a management case study when they're like, keep grinding.

Gino Smith, he just kept at it. He's with Pete Carroll now, so he's going to be, he's going to be on the internet whether he likes it or not. He's going to run all kinds of lessons. Yes. Aaron Rogers has a LinkedIn page. Yes. Is it updated?

Here is, guys, Aaron Rogers has a LinkedIn post from eight months ago. This is, can I get? what time this was posted. It doesn't look like I can. Big game tonight. Time to trust the process. Preparation, preparation, preparation. It's the name of the game in the NFL and business too. From your spare time to mental visualization, everything has a role in your performance. There's still things that will be out of your control, but being a pro means making sure you're as ready as you can possibly be. His bio says professional athlete, brand partner, investor, and shareholder that's good it's good shit wow this is like that's the thing this is too boring to

even be linkedin copy pasta he didn't even do that well bleh oh i guess you the comments what are the comments there are 36 comments that's not many why um well the first one is just says oh the first one says oh i didn't know you were on linkedin respect the second post he's not respect for being hit for respect for grinding here with us one guy just put his stats in here one is from a 14 year old named tyler to see if he wants to talk to him about becoming a broadcaster uh one is just from a girl that says you need to message me please yeah this is a pretty pretty bog standard uh comment section that's Aaron Rogers doesn't think of us having a LinkedIn account Aaron Rogers having a LinkedIn page while he is a professional

NFL quarterback is so funny to me, and I don't know why. Not a true poster. For all his desire to be controversial and get attention, not a true poster. Yeah, he can't. That's really weird. It looks like he's great in bursts on Twitter, but can't sustain it. That's interesting. Could not touch Kevin Durant.

Not a true poster. No. No. God, no, we need Jimmy Butler on LinkedIn. Jimmy Butler would learn close-up magic for the NBA halftime show. 100%. Or you could bring in close-up magicians and Jimmy Butler could call it out how they're doing it.

I would watch that on the NBA halftime show. Jimmy Butler derives magicians. I want to know if they impress Jimmy Butler or not. There's two rabbits. That's right. You ate the scarf ahead of time. Or even just like debunking common jokes. The doctor is the boy's mother.

Any of this would be an improvement. I'm also going to put Kurt Cousins. Kirk Couss, LinkedIn, it's got to be. Hang on. He feels like he should be very LinkedIn. The only thing about him is I don't know if he's ever heard of anything that isn't football. Like, I don't know if he... There's a Kirk Cousins who's a chef at Disney World.

I don't think that's him. I'm going to recommend Brock Purdy. I don't know if he is to this point, but I think he's got a really LinkedIn compelling story, right? How I built my business from irrelevance to... He's going to make a billion dollars doing the corporate speaking circuit after he retires. Are you kidding? Oh, my God. This is how I...

From irrelevant to 50 million. Yes. Well, this is the first time I've learned. And I guess I never thought of this before because if we're on LinkedIn, of course people are doing all kinds of stupid shit. But there are a number of fake Brock Purdy pages with seven followers that say things like, I am a system quarterback for the San Francisco. go 49ers

He's got He's got the LinkedIn story And he's got LinkedIn haters Yeah Man You know it's always relevant Software development skills Kids

Brock Pardy said Learned a code He's a Shanahan quarterback That's good advice I know he's not protecting your knees So

Invest Kevin Durant does have a LinkedIn profile and he's listed as partner and co-founder at 35V and boardroom and sadly and I believe this because you know he's got a passion for posting and it's not on LinkedIn no I mean he's he's a reposter on LinkedIn he's doing the bare minimum that's right yeah that's right it's got a lot of boardroom reposts

since we're talking about business should we do a brief bit of podcast business Speaking of real posting Podcast business What's the business Podcast business And a business Podcast business We're not on LinkedIn

But if you were we'd have in Spine Yes we are We are extremely on LinkedIn This show is literally on LinkedIn Christ almighty Oh my God You personally are Wait you're on LinkedIn

I am I'm listed as a non-compliance expert damn that's badass so I see why you said we weren't yeah that's what people do they come by my posts and they're like that's so badass and I was like I learned leadership I'm gonna hang out here on page besides ours is Rembert Browns

where it just says he's the owner of the Atlanta Falcons I'm gonna hang out here and smoke cigarettes on Spencer Hall's badass LinkedIn page right rules don't apply sit here and do whippets on LinkedIn all right so Spencer if I want to see your sweet posts I should go to your LinkedIn profile right No, you should go to

You should subscribe to Channel 6. That's right. Tell me about the thought process that led you to say we're not on LinkedIn when everybody is including you and the show. I'm going. When we have done about 50 episodes on LinkedIn. All right.

Business leaders just keep going. Okay. God, you and Theranos would have been just a match made in heaven. Who's to say we weren't? You have a backup plan. You're admitting you're not. going to succeed.

Bird the boats and the blood. You can help us buy more boats by subscribing to Channel 6. That's right. Blood smells awful. The Channel 6 newsletter Two things a week. Yeah.

From Holly Anderson and I, it is all you need to get through both the off-season and to enjoy the regular season of college football because we do that too. It's Holly Anderson and me. We just, that's why you do the editing. We have so many rankings for you.

We did five last week. We did five sets of rankings because we figured everyone else. Please rank the rankings in your own opinion. We were going to do that at the end of the week, but enough people suggested it that I thought it wouldn't be funny anymore, so we didn't do it. Shit. Wow.

Brutal, Ryan. Damn. Yeah. Don't give it a fly guy on my own podcast. That's got to feel bad. Wow. Rank the people who suggested that. Oh, ranking reply guys.

There are enough secret group chats about how I ruined this show. I don't want to create more. Reply guys ranked. There's got to be one for each of us. Number 133,000 comma, 382 or whatever last place is on reply guys is the one who just does word association. Stop doing that shit. Okay. Just because I did a word, you don't need to do a gift of the word.

Yes. Hey, Spencer, can I take one word in your post? and then come up with a picture of that word that's something different. No, you're just using me as... But if you're talking about Alicia Keys, can I reply to your post with a picture of Keys? And then will you give it a little heart? Thank you.

I'm into the Florida Keys. Do you get it? Yeah, that's the same thing. That's the same thing. You're just using me as a teething ring. Don't do that. Yeah, you're teething on my post. Stop it.

I think the best... One of the best things Holly is posted on the line recently is it's not self-soothing. if I have to see it. They're okay. I've had, I have tried to put these people down for a long time because the problem is they're not actually insulting you.

There's just, they're volume shooters and there's a million of them. But so I tried, I have had multiple tactics of this fail. Again, against the tide of blue sky reply guys who are an incredible new strain. And there's so many women in there. And I don't know how to deal with all of those.

But you know what? But I tried, no, I tried the 10 minute loop of the jangling keys video on YouTube for a long time. I shortened it to a gif of jangling keys. And then I have finally, my latest one is I'm just going to post this, this image, this clip art image that says adult lap swim and then just meet them forever. That's it. Here's the good news, though. You know where there are, there are no reply guys? Mm-mm. Channel 6, because there's no, there's no fucking God. There's no place to reply.

Oh, you can't actually reply to any of the post, and it'll go to, to the compliance email at channel 6, which we do check and read. That's right. $10 a month for two things a week or $100 for a year. What a deal. What a buy. A promise solemnly kept through all types of weather. And there's more.

We have interviews coming. We have a very interesting interview coming up. Can we tease the interview that's coming? Because I like this one. This is one of my favorite ones. Yes. We have an interview coming with. That's this week, right?

Yes, this week we have an interview coming with Kevin Harlan, who just got finished up doing his 39th NBA season. and just finished up the playoffs and his last game on TNT. He talks a little bit about that. And he also talks a little bit about we talk about the CarMax chicken tenders. I asked him about being handed bad copy

and speaking CarMax chicken tenders How the fuck did CarMax not jump on that, by the way? There's still time. There's still time. I think they didn't want to steal glory from the AutoZone chicken sandwich. That's true. Did I actually mention

Treblah and inform him of the existence of the AutoZone chicken sandwich and talk about how much joy he brought us. You're going to have to subscribe to Channel 6 to find out. That's right. Channel 6, Link in bio. Hey, Ryan. What bio? My one on LinkedIn.

Ryan, you have. Ryan, stop encouraging him. I understand that you, I understand you might have, you know, we were jokingly mentioning the Cowboys. You have some Cowboys related content you can mention on your own. We do. Yeah. On Phantom Island, you can find Phantom Island. Show if you want to subscribe. A couple of weeks ago now, Stephen and I talked about whether the Dallas Cowboys are on TV too much, which has now led to people tagging both of us when they see the Dallas Cowboys like yesterday, the day of Game 5 of the NBA Finals being talked about on ESPN's family of

networks. We also, I got to talk to Roger Sherman last week about the Club World Cup, a very silly thing that is not very popular. And now I have people tagging me in photos of Club World Cup events where there's nobody. There's like a thousand people at a Chelsea game in Atlanta, a place where people will go watch soccer, except when it's meaningless and happening in the middle of June and these teams are tired as hell. Do we talk about other things as well? Yeah, we sure do. We have a hockey. episode coming up for too long. I don't know shit about hockey, but that's fine. This never stopped me and it never will. And you could subscribe for free at Phantom Island on whatever

podcast thing you listen to, or you can sign up and support the show at Phantom Island.com dot show. Jason. I don't think I've mentioned this for a number of businesses now, but I wrote a book a while back. It's been on sale for about over a year and a half now, and people continue to buy it every single day. I'm just bragging once again that it's not actually all that niche but um it i've heard a lot of good things about it been told a lot of good things about i've been told it's funny it's revelatory it's uh you know it's it's emotional and moving and all that stuff but a thing i've been hearing more and more lately is uh hey i uh wondered why this country is like it the way it is and then i read this book and now i kind of know so you know the name

of the book is hell is a world without you and uh yeah that's one of the things that's happening in there um if you uh wonder about people who grew up to become various members of this administration and say a bunch of shit about Jesus and it doesn't really seem like it's about Jesus and it seems like it's about other stuff and yes let me let me walk you inside and show you that person when they were about 15 years old and everything it took to turn them into what they are now I had not thought about just what I think of in my head is like the rush slash left behind era as like a teaching tool for what's going on now but that's a man now i got to go back and read it yeah all the all the bones

were right there all the DNA was right there like literally the number of times per day that i see something in the news and i'm just like oh this is just the charsard of the charmander that i was raised on that's beautifully put so yeah uh raid the fucking book it's uh i i fucking guarantee it will make you laugh if it doesn't make you laugh you come to me and i'll call you a liar that's how confident i am in that. Beyond that, I'm going to teach you some shit about the world. You're welcome. Get it from the library. Since I'm talking a lot of shit, go get it from the library. Jason, what's not called? Once again, it's called Hell is the World Without You. Cool. This is a good time for Ryan to change his avatar to laughing all of a crap in the Disney

Three Musketeers. Another perfect movie. Michael Serber. What killer ants got going on? We've got one more show this summer. It's in Tuscaloosa, Alabama at Druid City Brewing Company, a long-time reader, Bo Hicks. This is his bar in Tuscaloosa. It's going to be a fun night. Hesop is going to be playing. Hesop has Javis and Hubbard who opened up the get down in Tuscaloosa this past year. So, yeah, if you're in Birmingham, if you're in Tuscaloosa,

if you're an alternative, weirdo Alabama adjacent person, come on down for the show. There's limited tickets available, but there are tickets available. and yeah you know you should besides seeing killer ants like we're going to be in Tuscaloosa but wherever you are you should go see live music at like a small venue in your town that's my plug for not necessarily

me but for whoever's in your town like go to the Instagram pages and the Facebook pages or the blue sky pages if they're cool enough to have one of the small venues in your town see who's playing see what you like and go see it because that's super important and there's a ton of

people who may only play to like five people, but you could be the sixth person there, and that'd be really awesome. So go see live music, support live music. It'll help your soul, I promise. Hell yeah, brother. Yeah, fully agreed. And I believe that concludes our podcast business.

All right. We have one more item on the dock to discuss. It's very important. We saved it for last. Can we talk about... Let's do a little meta discussion here. Bring the listeners behind. In the last, like, three months or so,

Spencer has started making a show doc. Here in year, what year are we in? Year 32, 12, 12, I think. And this is to set us up for some things that we'll tell you guys about here in a little while. But it's unclear to me if the show doc ever means anything. We've had various, We've had various show doc eras.

I made them for like three straight football seasons, I think. Sure. So like I've had a bit of experience on both sides of the show doc divide. I feel like today we did good. But like Spencer, what's your vision when you make the show doc and you send it out? It is what it is. That's what the vision is. I think I can answer that question better for you than you can,

which is that so you don't forget about the things that you want to talk about. That's true. Often. And that's not a dis. When I see the show doc, sometimes I'll throw something in it. And today, today, my suggestion was indeed honored by the show docksmith. Yeah. So it's really that.

It's really just through the week. I'll throw things in and I'll go, we should talk about this and we should talk about that. Occasionally, we have a grand sort of overarching theme. Or on this, you know, June 17, 2025 in the depths of the off season. This is our Cowboys and Bianca episode. What are you talking about? There was a show doc. there was a show doc all the same

there was a show doc so that's what the objective is funny the existence of the show doc is funny in itself but I think I'm all comfortable with that I just want to like I want the listener to know when Spencer says last thing on the docket he's not just talking he's not just

no there's a Google doc there is a doc it's not formatted or anything but this is a thing that a lot of the listeners have asked about I know that it is of interest to people I will say that for 90% of the episodes in our history there was no doc so none as sometimes there is progress sometimes there's not

i mean it's like yeah the doc can be good it's it's it's not a problem that we have a doc i'm just saying at times we haven't we do now like mainly i say that i'm not saying like oh we used to be so bad we were so well we we we sucked we were so bad we didn't do a doc it's more just like now there is a doc we now live in a universe with a doc occasionally the doc is just a doc is just a doc is just just the key that we're going to be playing in that day. The set list is subject to change. Set list is subject to change. You know, occasionally, occasionally I think we look at each other and say,

hey, take the bass on a walk, keep it and eat. You know, like that's... I'll be outside. Yeah. I'm going to go through the roof for a while. Yeah, a little jazz flute coming at you. I'm next door. Yeah.

I can't hear you. Yeah, that's what the show doc is for. It's also to help me remember things like, Chair crimes. What is the chair crimes? Folks, if I told you there was a BBC headline that said French antiques, fraudsters found guilty of Versailles chair scam, and you pictured the French Versailles counterfeit chairmaker in question, would he look anything like the fella in this picture here? Yes, I think so. This is, I think one of our readers, and I forget which reader, and I'm sorry, said it best, is like, this is the guy that Cogsworth turns back in. into at the end of Beauty and the Beast like you can't see he looks like he's wearing a

fucking frock coat this is ben frank ben franco with a hymns subscription yes yes that is exactly in like a mustard yellow like hi i'm ben franklin for stitch fix dude you know what ben franklin would have allbirds he would have yeah that man did love all birds he did so anyway um two i'm saying two french antiques experts uh have been convicted of forging historical chairs that they claimed had once belonged to Marie Antoinette. I maintain that this is not a crime. But France seemed to consider it a crime. I really considered this only funny because of chair fraud

and because of the picture of the guy in this photo, which let's not even get into the tiger. He's being photographed in front of, the painting of the tiger. But then yesterday, a second chair crime in Western Europe. And they blur this guy's face, which I love.

Uh, tourist damage crystal-covered chair in Italian museum by sitting on it. And this just, it just feels like, this just felt like it had too much chair crime too close together. Like, how deep does this go? What I'm hearing is tourists had a fat ass. It was, it was described, but he does not look. He, they've got his face blurred out in the CCTV footage. Yes, he is wearing. appears to be a white polo shirt and khaki so i assume he's one of ours but he does not appear

to be especially voluminous i would describe him as like a hank hill looking figure so no ass it's like an homage to van golf's chair right like that's the idea behind the but it's made of swarovsky crystal so i don't think like i don't think weight was the thing i don't think it was just no i think it's the fact that it's not a real chair yeah um the lady by the way with the experience of somebody who's had to use a lot of public bathrooms in her life. The woman just pops a squat. Like she kind of does like the little hover. And it also does not appear as though, and the Guardian article that I'm citing from points this out. It does look like the man is just like kind of posing for a photo and then falls backwards. But I do love the museum describing

it as, and I'm quoting every museum's nightmare. I'm like, that? Really? I've seen Thomas Crown Affair. That's not your night. nightmare. Yeah. Also, like, they're like, the museum was not embarrassed. They're like, Swarovsky crystals. And I'm like,

ah, you get that shit at Gatlinburg. That's not that. Now, the artist, by the way, said it was an idiotic thing to do. He told us to Italian magazine fan page. But the artist also said he could see a positive side to the incident. It's kind of a performance.

Ordinary people can do it, too. Not just artists. Thank you, Italian man who made a Swarovski chair. it's a lot of big talk for love that for you for basically high end bedazzling yeah thank you

like I don't really think that I mean I'm sorry that this happened in a museum this is very funny because I think that this is more of a crime than the antiques fraud was a crime yes because that took that took a lot of work I very quickly when reading the story like realize that it wasn't a big deal

like as the headline said like Van Gogh's chair and I was like oh wait what did they have like a real chair of his or something like and then I'm like no no this is just a easel or something yeah this is just a chair that someone was like this looks like the chair he painted huh yeah is it related it any other way nope nope not at all but now I do I want like a shiny though do I want like a giant crystal large mouth bass

in my house now yeah like this is they blow this guys I'll go ahead and sit this is closer to damaging something in the gift shop that it is to damaging something in the museum yeah Yeah, they blurred this guy's face and the lady's face as well. Actually, that tells me they're not American, doesn't it? Because if they're American, I think they would let that shit fly. Europeans do a much better job at protecting their own idiots than we do in the media. For instance, if somebody does something really stupid here on film, we don't blur their face.

And usually it's like three seconds. Fuck, man, we had a whole television show about it. Bob Sagan hosted it. How many interviews have we heard with the Pope's brother at this point? Like, we will get every adjacent figure in. their lives and turn it into a true crime podcast yeah it's like like if some guys like oh guy who stuck his dick in a ball washer at the golf course called on TikTok and all of a sudden he'll have a podcast right like we'll we see an idiot and we're like

get his name make the brand happen build something on that stupid Europeans we still don't know the name of the guy who set Notre Dame on fire I just in my head his name is Maurice yeah this is I just I picked the first and I did this for a reason I picked the first French name that came to mind because I wanted to imagine his day back at work and I couldn't do that without the cat calling imagining his first day at work after Notre Dame reopened. I'm also assuming he still works there, which is a huge leap, but like, oh, look out. It's Maurice. You better put your flashlights away.

They might catch on fire. Like, just imagine walking back in the door on the first day and you're that guy. Yeah, you're never getting away of the shit again. Like, someone will be like, oh, I don't know. your lunch looks okay doesn't maurice do you think it needs more heat you burned that did it look burned

Maurice hey you want a smoke break Maurice you should go set yeah you should go light one yeah not like last time