Shutdown Fullcast - The Double Heist Episode, Brought To You By None Chirporactics

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

!!! LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT !!! Homefield Apparel's Can't Miss Kickoff Tour Presented by Modelo is rumbling to Myrtle Beach, just in time for Halloween, and all audible crewmates on the good ship Shutdown Fullcast will be on hand (nautical term) to celebrate. Join us on Wednesday, October 29, at 7:00 PM, and wear your most inexplicable Halloween costume. Get details and buy your tickets hereLike all good parties, this show has a theme: It's time to submit your SPOOKY DISASTERS to this online submission form.Meanwhile, in the episode itself: Let's catch up with the coaching carousel! This discussion almost immediately turns carnal! It's not our fault Bobby Petrino's involved!Now we have a soundboard. Ho-Ho-HoLocal business reporting from RyanGuy Fieri Tequila Heist Update (warmup heist)Main event heist: obviously the Louvre thingAuburn trivia! Come alone do not bring weaponsThanks for the entertainment, Florida State, whatever it is you've done latelyPlus a look ahead to the college football games of Week 9This episode produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast After Dark theme arranged and produced by Corey CunninghamDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it's notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason's critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz and his new show PodcasterinoNow through December 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to Trans Ohio. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase exclusive PTKU Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-branded loot

i'm happy for you and ryan i i remember what it was like when i cured my billy nape here and i and i and i and i can't wait for you all to experience the thrill of chad morris it's gonna be it's gonna be amazing he's learned a lot server he's learned a lot on that episode everyone deserves a second act or a third what act is bobby petrino on at this point 17 okay gotcha so it's not an act it's all for real that's a pure unfiltered yeah what is bobby petrino on i think you mean this chopper it's a very sorry can i get some ice for my shoulder it's a very unorthodox narrative is what we're saying nobody has ever accused bobby petrino of being inauthentic or orthodox

come on come on come on he's done that too come on I think that's more of that than the previous thing this is just Bobby Petrino bucocchi party what why would it be dot org

why would it be dot com is taken dot edu is unethical are you fucking are you saying it's a 501c3 what he's talking about You know what else is the non-profit mission of Bobby Matrino Bukaki Party.org? Well, it's not making money, but it's real popular. Bobby Latrino is making money, and he's not popular. None of those things you said are true.

I think he'll be a fine code for me. Who is this now? Who is this? That'd be the one person I know wants Bobby Petrino to take that job. Ryan, honestly, I'm going to, I feel like you deserve honesty for me in this moment, and so I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you honesty, which is that the first thing I thought was like, well, which governance word

most look like boobs on a calculator and 501C3 is what came up? In my head, you're almost there. I want some glory, ho. Bobby Katrina wants some glory. Oh, no. No. You're just saying sex words now. Yeah, that's a gift. I'm giving you a Jerry Jones quote. This is just...

Wait, what? That is true. That's a Jerry Jones quote. That's valid. That's valid. You're Jerry needs to be brass. Your Jerry isn't raspy enough. I'm sorry, it's not decrepit enough. Yeah, it needs to sound more like paper falling apart. I try personally avoid rasp when I'm in a glory hole. It needs to sound more like the cryptkeeper if he hung out at Texas Roadhouse a lot. Holly, you need to get the rasp because that has the bathroom key that gets you into the glory hole in the first place.

I'm interested in that key. That ain't the only key that Jerry has enjoyed in Dallas. The best, over the previous 40 years. Hold on. Is it a key party or a key party? Or both. Yeah, hell yeah. Go jackets.

Whenever a full cast episode gets to this point, a listener will say, wow, they're horny. I assure you, folks, literally no one on this call is horny whatsoever. Other way. Yeah. We are observers and chroniclers of nature. Saying things that appear on Urban Dictionary, does not cause anyone on this call to break into a flutter.

Jason, that's one of those situations where anybody who says they're horny is telling on themselves. If you like our show that much, you will love our Patreon. Let me tell you what, this is also our way to launder coach gossip that we don't have three sources on, but have two. It's our way to just launder it. That's our way to do it. It's to be like, hey, sorry, I'm just going to say something filthy. But the thing behind it, it's actually completely true.

You know, it does have three sources and a thing behind it is Bobby Petrano, Jesus Christ. Does he do hot yoga? Because the limberness of him at this age is really quite something, I'm told. Can you imagine if you put Dana Holgerson in a hot yoga class after a night out? It would just be like, you ever seen Craters of the Moon National Park? He's not hydrated enough to survive. jerky the like vapors you'd see emitting from him if you've ever you know ghosts coming out you know and you and who framed roger rabbit when there's just the rubber man yeah yeah there's just the rubber man suit that let that's left behind that's what would be left from judge doom sure

yeah from the documentary who framed roger rabbit yes it would be that but dana holgerson's like figure on the floor i love us Thank you. You know, I mean, uh, and uh,

Welcome. I take it back. Now we're horny. I take it back. Now we're horny. to the shutdown full cast i am spencer hall i joined as always on this here the internet's only college football podcast by jason kirk ryan annie holly anderson and on the ones end to's michael surber spencer you know what i like wow what do you like who has the button first of all server at the moment that was a play fake how do you get well we we discovered in recent we on or in a couple weeks ago and after dark that you can upload any sounds you want into stream yard now oh no and hey we discovered this a couple weeks ago and i don't think we've really abused it at all i assume streamyard did that because it was like for business presentations you might need business sounds instead it coincided pretty pretty directly with the time the week it wouldn't let us log in at all yeah do the show so it's like hey we can't work for your business but we can't work for your business but we can't work for your pleasure. So let's just be clowns at each other.

According to Wikipedia, this is a webinar app, which I guess I'd never really thought about what it for. This is deductible. I do think you're right. If you're listening to this show, it's tax, it's a business expense. You can, you can find us either on LinkedIn or our webinar app. Well, this tax for us because where have we had the most success so far as a show, free conference call.com. Yeah, sure. You know what I like about our conversation so far today, gentlemen? Is that Ryan is, I think, not play acting, but I think he's really enjoying being horrified by us right now.

And yet he is responsible for the first line on today's show doc, which just says chiropractics, and he wouldn't tell us more. It's important that I not tell you more because, well, okay, well, these tables about to be turned is all I'm asking. I would like to disclose, by the way. All I was, all I was told. And this is how much I trust my podcasting partner, Ryan Nanny, is that like a musician who comes in and just says, hey, man, we're going to do an E, keep it steady, just take the base for a walk, just follow me. And you know what I'm going to do?

All I did, I put chiropractic in, and I'm sitting here on the set, ready, ready to keep some time. Okay. I'm on the turntables. Go ahead. So I think if you've listened to this show for long enough, you understand that. for me at least i'm not going to speak for everyone else this is the forecast it's not therapy because therapy is supposed to make you a better person more because therapy is expensive right

and therapy is expensive either of us takes insurance but um but it is kind of a emotional mental landfill for me right what a great way of putting that release valve yeah i take the intrusive thoughts that occur to me in my life. And if I don't put them on social media, I bring them to you, my co-hosts, and our producer. I drove by a business in Nashville the other day, and I had one knee-jerk reaction to the name of the business. And I just want to see if any of you have the same reaction based on the name, just to sort of stress test, like, how broken am I? Let's assume that I am, but to get a sense of, like, how bad it is. The name of the business, and I'm not going to tell you anything else, is 100% chiropractics.

Oh, no, that's crying too hard. Okay, Holly, can you pull that thread just a little more for me? Have you ever driven north on I-81, say, through Virginia, which means you're already in a bad mood because Virginia is one of those states that doesn't look big on the map, but turns into like an unnavigable. torus of 15 hours length when you're driving through it, and you can't go more than four miles an hour above the speed limit, or you will have to go to court, ask Stephen Godfrey how I know this. And you see signs off to off in the farmland, the rolling farmland that says things like premium wine, premium vineyard. And I'm like, if you have to insist that this is premium and that That is a word, it is, the 100% and the premium are both seeking to deliver me a reassurance that I didn't know I needed, that I suspect I would need.

And now I'm wondering why they feel the need to reassure me. Okay. Anybody else with thoughts on 100% chiropractics? I think it's good. I think it feels like when I have a status effect that has given me like 100% bone pain, what is what is the only solution I don't want to be left with like 5% bad bones it also oh greener that only does 25% caropractic you're taking a statistical approach to this okay good advertise triangulates at every point in the positive direction for the client so I'm saying

whoever did the 100% chiropractic marketing thought first of all this raises the doubt in the customer's mind that there is an 85% chiropractic that they're paying for and they're like shit yeah i didn't get the hundred percent the other 15% they've been doing like uh apothecary stuff for the other 15% they've been skimming yeah that's what so you've been cheated there's only one place that will give you 100% you're chiropractic at half speed out there someone's going to get hurt yeah the other place man that place is only 70% chiropractic and 30% tacos and And as delicious as that sounds, it's not 100% chiropractic. Now I'm torn.

One other idea that is boring, but also improbable, we don't still have phone books, do we? Is this a thing where they're trying to be first in a phone book? And if so, like, do you want somebody who thinks we still have phone books to be manipulating your spine? If you're a chiropractor, who do you want? But old people who are picking up heavy books? All right, all right. old people who are going out Off the porch

Leaning all the way over going and picking up the heavy book And the solution immediately And it falls open on the Oh, I can see the commercial It falls open on the front porch They're stuck like that Chiroprac

Ah, there's the first one Good thing, it's 100%. Has this ever happened to you? Cerber, any thoughts on your end? You drive by 100% chiropractic Well, it's really It's a beautiful thing that we've done by bringing in the extra

Percents it's excellent many were wondering why we couldn't have 100% and now we do go back to jelly roll what is this

do deli roll I think he would call it like 13,000% I would and we're going to get it there we've got a plan in place we're doing 300%

chiropractic they said it couldn't be the Democrats said we wouldn't do it that means we're doing it we're giving you that's three skeletons

you only have to Beautiful, beautiful percentages, the most beautiful. The business I would patronize. Joe Biden only said your back could only have so much backbone in it. Hey, come on. So what if we do like a hot topic free brand, Holly, like, as they're doing their podcast, Holly, you and I are doing a separate podcast about like skeleton chiropractic. It's the exact same thing.

We're just re-branding it, making it like goth. Oh, oh, wait, three skeleton chiropractics results you can see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, you walk in and it is totally a normal chiropractor, but we were just talking about, like we're going to fix your bones oh wow this is so this is so themed but then the doctor's just like where is it hurt

you know server you got to do something where he introduces a fake like an actual fictional character like they're real it's like maybe you've heard of Dr. Doom is he in the room everybody Victor Frankenstein very accomplished understands the body like no other

Is Dr. Doom a chiropractor? Is that what the doctor's? Yeah I don't really know I've done a lot of research and he could be Honestly, osteopath doom is kind of how we got here. They say, they say my bones are the best, strongest bones of bones of gold. I would have been a doctor, but I chose not to be, but I could. I've done a lot of research.

Sturber, you have the, you have the lilt in his Ls that I think a lot of people doing the voice don't get. Doom was expelled from college before finishing his only known higher studies, but claims to possess multiple doctorates. That is a chiropractor. Oh, T's O stands for doctor. DO, he's an osteopath, yeah. Yeah. To be clear, I trust him with my bones. Holly, I want to think clearly? We're going to get him out of here.

Can we get a clean clip of Jason's saying, to be clear, I trust him with my bones and just use it in all future ad reads, no matter the context. Homefield apparel. Don't take care of your bones. Keeps my bones concealed. Bone warmers for all your bones. D.O. Whenever I run out of skin, I put

homefield on it. Form the skin that warms your bones at homefieldaparel.com. D.O. stands for Dr. or octopus. The flesh is weak, but the bones are strong. That's basically, listen, man, that's basically every ortho, every jock ortho is like, yeah, man, don't show me anything but the x-ray. And they're like, yeah, he's got like, he's got like a crazy.

Yeah, it's called soft tissue for a reason. Fuck it. Get it out of here. Good thing you got rid of that shit. Spencer, don't tell them the answer if they don't know this. Have I told y'all that my ortho here was wearing a puka shell necklace the first time I met him, like at work now ask me where he went to college ucf we're close close spencer us usf florida state okay all right all right i was getting there took time um holly to bring this full

circle thank you because my reaction when i drove by 100% orthop orth uh not oaths i forgot that was what i drove by this establishment my first thought was they're hiding something it's it's at least 10% something else that's some pt barnum shit yeah yeah they're hiding something that's like 10% crime could be hand jobs i don't know okay like it's not this only one we to find out but adjusting a job yeah oh yes to be clear sex work is work is work yeah but it feels like the kind of thing you put on when you're like yes absolutely everything chiropractic here only chiropractics here no hand jobs it's the nobody here

but us chickens I can see it on the sign of zero percent hand jobs which at that point if you're like the um

the burger joint next door you're like shit we better put zero percent hand jobs on our yeah and then you got and then the whole

shopping center you watch this spread up and down the turn pick or whatever it is hey did you know Joanne's fabrics is now zero percent hand jobs

the fucking Wells Fargo is like we're not taking part in this, and then they get a bunch of perverts showing up in long coats. Hey, hey, I heard this is the handjob. This is the one place for handjobs. Because it's because it's 2025, on the opposite side of the street,

you get like, oh, fuck those woke libtards, 1,000% in. Yeah. Yeah. No, none chiropractic's. Only handjohns. Not, chiropractic. The two political parties. And the national

divorce, we got chiropractors. And then there are, Then you get the editorial board being like, listen, the solution is centrism. Half chiropractic jobs. In the median of the highway, we must come together. We must find Senate candidates who want to do some hand jobs, but not all hand jobs. Hand jobs with left hands. Vote for a candidate who's a real jerk.

I bet you I have not looked. I will not look. I bet you anything there's a shirt I can buy right now that says I don't even jack off with my left hand. Yo, that's, yeah, we should, we should, should, should, should we should, should we should, we should, we should, we're late. We're trailing a number of our, so, okay, so bad news, we're trailing a number of our industry peers in that regard. Yeah, yeah. They have left a path for us to follow. If, if, if, if we put a percent chiropractic sticker out, what is our percent chiropractic? Zero. Zero. Zero. We're zero. We're zero. Okay. I was going to go with 12. Like the way juice drinks used to be like, with juice, asterisk. 4.7% juice. 7% juice. Totally exonerated.

We're going to be competing with 14 to 88% chiropractor. Oh, man. Oh, come on. I still don't. If it comes down to chiropractors or Nazis, we are 100% chiropractor. 100% non-Nazi chiropractor. I bet there are some Nazi chiropractors. Well, yeah, there's just got to be.

The way this week is. going, we're going to find out that, like, all of chiropractics has roots in anti-Semitism. Damn it. We're back to zero percent chiropractic. Only hand jobs. Hand jobs only. Only hands. Not denominational hand jobs.

Only. Yeah, yeah. Hand jobs across the aisle. I'm standing on one side and reaching all the way across. That's the, that's Unitarian. Has you do the same to my side of the aisle. Hi, this is, this is a majority leader, Hakeem Jeffries. We need $5 now for hand jobs across the aisle.

Chuck Schumer here. Chuck Schumer here. Hi, if you rush me three hand jobs, we will match only today. Give me the... Match hands jobs or money? Subject line. We're losing badly. Adam Schiff here, pay me $3,000 to get Gattaca surgery for the arms

so that I can reach all the way across the aisle. Stack off my no-piece counterparts. Motion emergency vote. I'm jacking it with my Gattaca arms to Adam 5th. I'm jacking it with my Gatica arms. Action Bronson lyric. Have we got, have we got a cloture, buddy? Do we?

No, or? Anyway, that's why I put chiropractics in this show. It wasn't so bad. It was. What I put wasn't so bad. And yet. Oh, yeah, it was these. Oh, yeah.

You put it here hoping that we wouldn't run. with it. I see you. I didn't know it would go to this. I didn't know it would go to hand jobs across the aisle, which is a very good idea to be clear. And also, just, I'm going to speak for everyone here. When we say hand jobs, we mean, we mean manual masturbation of all kinds. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I did we start. Because remember, we are, we are woke hand jobs. That's right. Collins. It's here to flick the bean of my neighbor. no matter no matter what i find when i reach across the aisle i don't even know what i'm going thank you for putting main is known for lobster but i'm more interested in that crawfish girl

oh the full cast is so horny we're still not horny no if anything this is an anti-sex podcast i think we just prove that it's not an intent in result Like, because, like, someone created us. And therefore, if you, if you procreate, then you might have something like us. Someone's got to, hey, listen, someone's got to have the last generation on Earth. And I think it was our parents. I think full cast is horny in the way that, like, Hellraiser or something is horny. We're like, it is sexual.

I agree. You're like, hey, man, if Clive Barker was really going through something and then he made a sports podcast, this would be it. How would you tell if Clive Barker was going through something? He would make the full cast. It's a little sad at times What a goal When do you think he's going to abandon numbers completely And be like this is going to be Tiddly Winks percent

Yeah I think we're past that Gamma We're up to gamma percent This doing the thing in the sci-fi movie intro Where it's like what year is it 29 B five Yeah Omega Prime

The Age of the Slug It's not a good one Not the best Not the best I'll be honest I also trust my partners on this podcast so much that I will just write down the words warm-up heist on the docket as well because I was told two things before we could get to the rest of our stated business here on the show that we had to discuss chiropractic and you saw where that went so I really can't wait to see where this goes. Go to pre-outairboats.com. See if we put up zero percent chiropractic's merch and if we don't, worst case, there's still tickets to the Myrtle Beach live show we're doing.

You can get those through the link where there will where there will be no chiropractics. I'm pretty confident. Somewhere on the beach. Somewhere on Mertile Beach there will be hand jobs. At our show no, you can't do that there. That's true. There's a margarita get away with it, but don't try it. I bet they have tables. Myrtle Beach chiropractic.

Boy, there's some results of that. That doesn't get a safe search. Yeah. First result, Palms chiropractic. That sounds like a hand job. That sounds like a hand job. plain sight. You always say that. The second one is warm-up heist. Holly, you're in charge of warm-up heist. Well, we've been doing the show for a long time, and so I feel pretty comfortable stating that when I came in for the show today, I knew without asking, I guessed without asking, that we were going to be talking about the Louvre and the heist thereof, correct? Correct.

And I realized it's been a minute since we talked about a heist because I realize it's been two weeks since the story came out with the update on the Guy Fieri tequila heist. And Spencer, you haven't said anything about it, which leads me to believe you might not know about it. Holly, I'm going to delight you here. I know nothing about the Guy Fiery Tequila Heist. This shows me that you are not a devotee of Brian Grub, which is a disappointment. But I'll put that to the same. Yeah, I thought you had a Google alert up for heist. So anyway, last year, Guy Fierry has a celebrity.

celebrity tequila that he co-owns with sammy hagar of course and two it's high there we go all right i'm sorry i forgot to leave room for sound effects in here two entire semi truckloads of it vanished last year and at the time it was like oh hey uh two you know hijacking two trucks of tequila the dream right so more reporting about this has come out there was no hijacking and the drivers weren't in on it so naturally, what happened instead? This is, man, this is sad. Of all the reasons to be sad about the takeover of CBS news, this story came out on October 5th,

so I kind of got to imagine that we're never going to get the kind of high-quality crime reporting that you see here again. But there's this quote from Guy Fieri about my mind is swimming in exactly how do you lose, you know, that many thousands of bottle of tequila. If Guy Fierry can't tell you how you lost that many bottles of tequila, something went terribly wrong. So this tequila, like many others, in Western Mexico

gets distilled and bottled and trucked to the U.S. Mexico border goes through customs, gets unloaded in Laredo for U.S. distribution. Also, like many tequila companies, Santa Tequila does not have its own delivery trucks. It hires an outside logistics company to ship the tequila. The logistics company, and this is how, you know, this is how things wind up being way more expensive. The tequila company hires a logistics company that itself hires trucking companies, right? So a lot of these trucking companies, if they get like two, if it's a smaller company, if it gets overwhelmed with orders, if there are supply chain issues and the trucks are

stuck in Kansas somewhere waiting to load or unload, they will turn around and then subcontract truckers to complete these jobs. Somewhere in this chain of many different companies being in charge of getting this tequila from Laredo, Texas to the tequila warehouse, which is in Pennsylvania, tequila capital of the world, the Santos starts getting messages from logistics companies saying, hey, there's a water pump issue with the truck, we're going to be late. And then they get an email from the driver of the truck. This is like, you know, hey, it looks like the issue is bigger than the truck.

Mechanics advise the truck will be fixed on Saturday. He says he can deliver Sunday, but I know y'all are close. We can be there first thing Monday. No one is really alarmed. It's a long way to go. Trucks break down. The GPS tracking that they have on the truck shows the truck is near D.C. At that point.

And then on Monday, they get an email. This says the truck is within a couple miles of our warehouse. Did the truck, I'm sorry, did the truck say it was five minutes out? Yes. The tequila never arrived. So here's what happened. The trucking company had indeed outsourced the job to two other. trucking companies who then hired drivers.

CBS refers to this as a tractor trailer shell game, which is kind of it. The second trucking companies, and I'm bringing this up because if there's one thing we love more than heist on this show, it's business ideas. Seems like this would be really easy to do. Those second trucking companies were fakes. They had phony letterheads, phony email addresses, phone numbers, and all the emails and the video of the broke down truck were all fake to set them to buy time to set up. and steal the cargo and what I'm saying is do you guys what are you guys doing after the show do you want to make a fake trucking company as long as it ends at that point yeah I think that's a good idea and then maybe we could um subcontract our fake truck trucking companies to the people doing the heist so they're like we didn't do it I assume we're calling it 100% trucking right yes yes we will guarantee to get you absolutely guaranteed to get you from the start to the finish with everything that was in the truck at the start um so

The detectives, there's one more layer. The detectives tracked down one of the drivers who picked up the tequila in Texas. He told investigators that he was directed by what he thought was a legitimate trucking company to leave the shipment at an industrial site in the San Fernando Valley. So his information led the police to a warehouse where they recovered 11,000 bottles of the tequila, but the thieves and the second truck of the tequila were never found. They say, oh my God, they say the speech. spirit still walks these roads. I approached Andy Dufrain and 2,000 bottles of tequila. Zawatneo comes out clean on the other side.

Do you think Guy Fieri will become consumed by vengeance and hunt down every one of these thieves and tequila bottles? I certainly hope so. That was their specialty holiday blend. Yeah. Just pulling up in that car next to him, hey, guys! You're taking the Flavor Town off from Justicevania. Like, imagine the Peacont demise of being killed by a vengeful guy here, because your last thoughts would be, hey, guys, we're on the lookout for America's Best Night. I would hear it in my head.

Time to diners drive in and die. Adios, bro, Chacho. That's it. You're donkey sauce, brother. Anyway, I thought that would be a good warm-up heist to the, because it's not quite as dumb as the actual heist, but that's why it's the opening act. Oh, listen, the best part of my week has been the fact that somebody broke into the Louvre and then finding out every additional detail about the 2025 Louvre robbery. I assume you're saying 2025 because based on the details, it feels like 26, 27, like the, the, the, If the gates are about to open.

As soon as Spencer said that, I immediately started typing list of Lou Brabis. Yeah. Oh, because. And so I'm going to get to. Let's all switch from Spanish to French. Let's all take a moment. Everybody warmed up.

Vocal warm up. Hello. Hello. Zoot al-a-lo. You're sweet-a-re-re-re-frabois. So I'm going to do this as. Do you say you're the raspberry king? I did.

Sorry, I took a minute. That sounded good. So this happened at the Louvre, which is in Paris, in case you didn't know. This was, I believe, was it Monday? Honestly, who knows? Yeah. There's no way to find out. Monday, please.

Yes. So at nine, they did this at 9.30 in the morning. That's early for France It is It's the middle of the night for France It's it No one would ever suspect that you would be up to anything's treacherous That's listen that's mistress time

And then you go to work What? Sorry, police station is closed What is it? Mistress Do I have to lay out the French schedule for you? Mr. Time happens until lunch Which is at 10

Yeah, which is a 10. Yeah, which is a 10. And that goes until three. And then there's the protests. That happened until eight. If you were in the lower house. There's the garbage truck strike. Yeah.

If you are in the suit of France, it is nap time. If you were in the north of France, additional mistress time. And then you go home to wife time. Then mistress shows up. The mistress shows up. And then you have mistress wife time. And then it's 9 a.m. again. And then it's 9 a.m. again.

And you have 15 coffees. Leaving out time to play FIFA. Yeah. Two baggots. Is one of the mistresses at Playstation? The mistress loves me, to be clear. FIFA on phone entire time. There we go.

Exactly. I'm not being. Please. So, they did this at 9.30 in the morning. They referred to as a gang. That's a little elaborate for me. This seems like a group project. They robbed the fucking Louvre, man.

Give them a little credit here. You do this. You're upgraded to, like, consortium. Yeah. Yeah, like, you're, you're a, you're an outfit. Yeah, this is a collaborative, man. Yeah, the peris suburbative. Yeah, this is, this is only collaborative artistique and maxis.

The project. The project. Yeah. The reclamation of the king's jewels is the endeavor of the class. Yeah, this is, so four suspects that they brought what is described as a vehicle-mounted mechanical lift. That is very elaborate BBC. phrasing for ladder truck it looks cherry pick it's it not even I don't even like the cherry the cherry picker has the like segmented mechanical arm dude this is a cartoon ladder on the back

that's like a K truck the Wikipedia caption calls it a monte mublai which literally just means mobile letter yeah which by the way the headline for this was Spencer has a favorite part of this. I know that's different than mine, and I will let you expound out. But my favorite part of this was police investigating ladder found leaning against side of the loo. Talk, talk, talk you son of a beach. There it is.

I believe we've cracked the code. So climbing up the glorified, it looks like a Mario ladder. like if you could drive a truck in a Mario game that had a ladder it would look like this truck if I said it was French sized right like when we talk about French cars we talk about a smart car right a little Citroen also it like it's three stories like this this isn't like they scaled the heights like you know it's not a mission impossible sequence exactly the image I was going all the jewels were kept in a giant room with big windows if you'll have to reach the third floor but unfortunately

we have a ladder We have a Montemubley. If they fell, they probably would have been okay. That's how daring this was. I will take a nap right here in the street. Louf. Yeah.

I will rest here until second mistress time. Tell them I loved one of them. Yes. My lovers come to my aid. Yeah, by the way, apologies for us as depicting the french stereotypically as having leisure time and sex lives very sorry about that um so

there were four of them and they arrived with this thing and they put it up to the windows of the gallery de paulon which is the gallery of apollo and it's this big extremely i wouldn't have guessed that dude how fucking cool is that that you're like every other thief is like yeah i knocked over a pnc bank in Bonnet County and they're like I have stolen from the son himself fuck you the sun the god of sun and wisdom has felt the wrath of my hammer

as I smash the kiss containing the jewels the wrath of my ladder yes the wrath of my ladder ladder bitch we have ascended to the heavens on a three story ladder on our are about to move

of Babel So in case by the way in case this wasn't like I always maintain the French are way more redneck than you think they cut through the window with power tools so I'm going to translate their dialogue in French yeah this is very much I'm going to translate this which uh which Ria B trash yeah exactly DeWalt? To talk about this whole thing again on hand in the dirt so Felder can trash their tool choices. Yeah.

So taking a full review from him on all. There were two guards up there. And by the way, again, the French, so far ahead of us culturally and civilizationally, the two guards were threatened. And in response, the two guards fucking left. Just what you should do with two guys cut through windows with power tools and are like, get the fuck out.

Oh, shit. This is where... For lifetime, I can't stay here. Spencer, I'm going to lob something up for you. This is where in, you know, a bank robbery situation, you know, you know what they say. You know, if you're working in a bank, it's not your money.

The bank's money is insured. Go ahead and give it to them. Spencer, what was different about this one? These are the Kings jewels. Like, these belong to... No, we still have one of those. Yeah, I mean, they don't. They technically belong to the nation of France.

are the old empress jewels these like outrank king stuff but yes it's not insured if they take it you don't you don't just put number back yeah no defined as priceless something also something about having it not insured also makes it even more french yeah it is ephemeral it is eternal and ephemeral it this is also by the how could you insure a memory I will ask my lover this afternoon as we smoke. Again, I'm sorry I'm stereotyping you by saying that you are carefree. They're just like Italians. We have to apologize.

It is okay to say anything about them that we learned from cartoons. If this podcast were the first thing anyone were learning about the world, they would understand that America is the land of Nazi chiropractors and France is the land of sex and easy theft. Hey, does anybody want to hear the news alert? 30 seconds ago. Yes. Yes.

President is said to be demanding $230 million from the Justice Department for investigating him. We don't have to apologize to France for that. It's down the list. We'll get to you. Yeah. You got rob as much stuff as you want. Senior department officials who were defense lawyers for the president must approve any such payout underscoring potential ethical conflicts.

Sure. Potential. so there this took five minutes this took five minutes and then they were out wait wait what did they do inside

they told the guards to get the fuck out okay they smashed up the cases containing the jewels right which had which had sophisticated security mechanisms I'm sure right

so about those it wasn't just a fucking service merchandise disguised as a museum right i want you to know these guys were totally in the safety because they were wearing high viz jackets yeah uh which there are pictures are you telling me that a modern walgreens is secured better than the louvre at this point i mean if the wallgreens on the third floor so so they so the time square wallgreens the most secure facility in the world Walgreens heist. It's on stilts.

Beachside Walgreens heist. Money plane. Also, in the right neighborhood, you tell that Walgreens security guard to fuck off, he's going to be like, oh, it's on. Oh, I've been waiting for this. Now you're getting punched in throat. I'm about to throw so many ankle braces and bottles of rubbing alcohol at you. This whole cosmetic counter is coming over on your ass. Get ready to eat batteries, bitch.

So how did they get away? Again, I'm not going to stereotype anybody, but they took off after taking eight items that are value that were their priceless and also uninsured. But leaving some that were more valuable. Yeah, yeah, which is odd. We'll come back next week.

Which I think was neighborly of them. And they also dropped. They dropped something incredibly expensive, but we'll get to that. Yeah. They escaped on. Levi-on-Bel. Scooters.

They escaped on- But they're stereotyping themselves at this point. Are you shitting me? They put on berets and striped shirts. Burrace and escapes on scooters. Baggates. Do they tell the guards to flee, or did they mime it? As you can see, by my striped shirt, I am going about my business.

The security camera. Yes, it's in black and white. They were wearing apparently helmets with LED lights and like pulsating disco rhythms playing. They escaped out the window, right? So, yeah, they got away on scooters. And according to Dutch Art Detective Arthur Brand, he told me... According to what? Dutch Art Detective Arthur Brand.

Thank you. They may be long gone, but there's... Absolutely a Daniel Craig character. Here in America, we do this with that Art or Not Twitter account. Don't listen to people who are like, oh, you've got to go get a business. No, man, you can be a Dutch art. go do whatever you want in this world so this is my favorite part I have two quotes I love first of all the security people when asked about this like the

loose security people were like well answer because they were napping French security guards asterisk quote quote I am so hungry then the little one looked up I was like, you are so foolish. Aren't we droll? I have depression. For no reason. Despairx, you just need a cigarette. They're stolen my heart, Moise.

So. Sorry, are any of the guards in love with any of the thieves? Do we know? They are now. out over time. It's more like, more like fleeting, longing. Yeah.

Okay. That turns into existentialism. And then next thing, mistress time. Well, yeah, that's when you get right. It's kind of like their chiropractic. You want a program managing mistress in this.

100% mistress. Like you want a bridge mistress. Yeah, sure. A breadkey mistress. The mistress takes you to see your primary mistress, yes. I will get to this after throwing a bag of peace at a riot cop over a soccer match. There probably. is a pont du mistress somewhere

in France. I believe that's all the ponds, buddy. Every pont you want. All roads lead to Rome and all bridge leads to mistress. I think this is in, oh, it's either in Berlin or Frankfurt. There's one of those big castles in Germany

that has a giant epic stone bridge across of a river and underneath it, there is a smaller like auxiliary bridge that looks like, you know, if you built a service bridge in the centuries ago or whatever, which was apparently used to spirit mistresses back and forth

across the first. Hang on I will look this up. The original transfer portal, Mr. Spring. The French are like cowards. Take them in bridge. I will find you love. So my favorite two quotes on this are, first of all, the

security people for the Louvre when asked about this were like, ah, you can't watch all of it. Sure. Hey. Which, if you know how big the Louvre is, of a valid argument i don't know that's like a coach who just lost the game he was supposed to be like first of all credit to their team great preparation i haven't seen the footage yet great you know we don't want to take anything away from the incredible effort they what happened on that fourth

down coach what we'll have to watch the tape tomorrow you know we got to secure the window but i want to i want to give their defense credit for attacking the window that was just great move on their part my second favorite part of this is our our dutch art detective saying, you know, as a normal person, you don't wake up in the morning thinking, I will become a burglar. Let's start with the Louvre. And I'm like, not with that attitude. Don't know that they started there. Yeah. They might have. You know how sometimes you're just like, ah, fuck it. Let's just go fight cannon right away. Yeah, let's be great. We don't have shirts. Who cares? I got stick. I got stick.

I have stick and ladder. I have ladder and stick. Oh, shoot that one. What is Lader if not stick? My cousin Randy loaned me his power saw. We are off to become rich, yes. So the stolen items were identified by the Ministry of Culture as the tiara, necklace, and an earring of Maria, Amalia, and Hortense de Beaurenais. From the Queen Maria Amalia Sapphire set, the emerald necklace and a pair of emerald earrings from the Empress Marie-Louis set. the relicary brooch, a large corsage, bow brooch, and the tiara of Eugenie de Monti Helio. My goddamn bow brooch.

They left behind the $60 million regent diamond, as Holly mentioned, and they dropped the crown of Empress Eugène, which I think is my favorite, you know, like they were just overburdened. Yeah, this was, they didn't have enough room for their inventory. They got the earrings, but, oh, shit, we dropped the crown. I hope one of them was wearing it. It was like, Pierre, stop it. They can't equip the entire kit, and, like, they don't get all the boon bonuses of, you know, wearing the entire. You have to put on your rave bicycle helmet. You have to take the crown off.

Yeah, the reliquary brooch gives you plus two to hit, which is really. Well, if you have the full kit equipped, otherwise you're getting plus one. My initial takeaway from this story is that every heist movie, we've ever watched. The Italian job, Oceans 11, Thomas Crown Affair. All of these are now, I believe, clever ploys by the museum and rare arts community to make us think that museums are impossible to, like, are like, oh man, the lasers. How would you defeat the lasers? When, in fact, they have not been doing shit all this time, assuming that we would believe the propaganda about the lasers. And now, now the truth of the, you know, the truth.

has been revealed to us that it takes ladder and mean attitude that's it you know what all it takes dude they really koala brain this too because like it would they probably might have had lasers they might have had all that stuff right and they were like what good are the lasers if you could just take the ladder or if you could just walk or if you just walk through them you're like the alarm is going off you're like pocket the alarm's going off what if every day the louvre is actually foiling all sorts of complicated plots yeah right like all sorts of james bond shit it's just like Oh, boy, what even, like, they're just slapping that shit down. They see some moron, slap a ladder against the side of the building, and they're like,

uh, he must be cleaning the windows. Yeah. I think there's also an element of disbelief. Like, like, like, I'm, honestly, if you're the security guard and you see somebody taking a fucking hacksaw or a power saw to the window of the Louvre, what is your first thought? At 9.30 in the morning. It's got to be, it's got to be an art performance. Sure.

Right? Yeah. We're in France. This is surely art. So you're saying this is the, if you carry a clipboard and you look serious, you can get in anywhere except applied to museum theft. Yeah, that's all this is. Like, they had a moment of complete inaction by everyone watching because they're like, let's see where this is going. Like your brain is like, I don't know what that is.

That's crazy. Oh, shit. And then you go, am I really going to put it all on the line for the emerald necklace of Empress Marie Louise? So that's the other thing. I think if this happened in England, it would be more uproar. But I think because it was France, it was like, ah, fuck royalty anyway. Who cares if we lose their garbage?

Zishuos belong to the people anyway. I found it. It's in Dresden. I knew I've been here. What's it called? Man, I think the king that used this was Augustus the Strong. It was for Anna Constitia. It was the residential castle in Dresden.

I cannot remember what the bridge is called. Okay. Good. Great. Folks, if you know what the German mistress bridge is, sound off in the comments the bridge of thighs yeah it's good I like that Paris has the bridge of size we will have the bridge of thighs I I'm looking forward to them trying to sell this stuff I mean where would you go to like where would you go to sell it

eBay eBay listen we just reveal that like this worked by doing the most direct thing that people are like well surely this can't I think you got to stick with that I think you've got to put them up on eBay as described. I think you even say stolen from Louvre, yes. Stolen on October 19. Yes. Yeah. Photo of you stealing it.

Silly bicycle crew, silly scooter crew has 18 reviews on eBay, all five stars. I got stuff. I got the crown of the empress whoever. Yep. Oh, that's the one thing I know now. That's the one thing I know. The tiara of Empress whoever. Now I'm going to go back and get it next week.

What if they do? Yeah, what? If they're just rolling back up again and they're like, no. I mean, if you show up and you're like, hey, I have nine of the ten. I just in the set, clearly I own it more than you do. That's mine, right? Like, how can you claim to be the owner of the Empress's stuff when you only have one of her things? She entrusted me with all the rest of her stuff.

Or what if I just switched out? Do you believe in fate, my friends? Well, that will turn into a seven-hour black-and-white film about whether we believe in fate. And once again, that leads you to mistress time. We are back around. When they arrest them, they're going to wait. They'll be like, it's 4.30. Wait for him.

Have a little kiss, yes? After the kiss, we arrest. It's also great because this is all, because this is all, like, property of the government, all the statements and all the news, the, like, headlines are like, France set, like, anthropomorphic France is out there. Buffing is like, oh, I don't know how these shit keeps happening to me. I'm trying to get my life together. Well, that's, listen, this is kind of a whole French thing, is to be like, everything is logical and Cartesian and shit. Shit, a ladder?

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, man. We had so many solutions. There was no way to foresee this. I mean, it's very shock-totty, right? It's very like, it's very like, what's the stupidest way to commit this crime we can pick? And they're like, big ladder. I'm so sorry, MC Escher did not decide to live.

He does a ladder that, like, re-track-around-s yourself. The ladder, you keep climbing forever. I also like that, you know, some absolutely annoying American and English tourists were inconvenienced when the Louvre had to shut down for the day because it got robbed at 9.30 on a Monday morning. Yeah, they showed up bright and early, bright and fucking early. That's, oh, God. But we had tickets. I don't understand. Our tickets are for today.

You should have brought a ladder. This is the laver, right? I'm not, I'm not here. No, you don't understand. I'm not going to steal anything. They stole something. Why am I being punished? I got Instagram stories.

I got spread out over the next six weeks. Make it look like I was here all that time. I promised Anna Anna that we would go to the Louvre today. Guess we're going to the Popeyes instead. I don't want to go to the Opera Museum. I hate opera. But then I fell in love with a man who lives underneath it. He wears a mask and he sings to me.

I'm not going to the Dorka Museum. I don't want to see a whale. Why not? Hey, Ryan, the dorkest door called. Oh, it works because that's not even how you spell it. I just really love the image of these thieves getting away looking like the cast of Expedition 33 on their little scooters. this, a lot of people were complaining. I saw a lot of people were complaining in that photo

that none of the people in the picture are smoking. And to those people, I say there is a giant anthropomorphic cigarette taking the picture. Yeah. Ever considered that? So there is a picture. There is a picture to conclude this, okay? That in one of the

articles about this robbery at the Louvre, there is a shot of one of the entrances to the Louvre. It's being blocked by police with some bystanders. They're on the left leaning up against a car. A little late guys. Yeah. And then on the right there are some civilians, just some people who are like watching. And one of them is a tall gentleman with an umbrella, a what appears to be like a khaki camel hair vest, a blue tie. Natalie's

nodded at the neck of a white dress shirt with a matching brown coat over it. And then what appears to be an overcoat and a fedora cocked jauntily over the right side of his face obscuring part of it and it's very clear if i haven't laid out the image i'm going to spell it out for you he looks like the thief and what the best part is as if the picture weren't funny enough the cop who's leaning up against the car there's one of them looking over like oh he did it like he's looking over like it's that guy alone i have played as attorney i know how this goes I have an objection to how stupid this is. It is obviously this man.

Yeah, like you solve the crime. It's him. Go get him. He's right there. Yeah. Congratulations to the inheritors. Congratulations to France. Yeah.

Good work, France. Just doing the thing, man. Like, like American crime has gotten so rough, so unpleasant. France, thanks for having whimsical crimes. still. Yeah, other than the Guy Fierry tequila. Other than the guy Fierry tequila heist. The guy Fierre tequila iced.

We have some accounting to do, accounting because there have been a number of coach firings in between this week and last week. Nobody notable, just the University of Florida and Colorado State have both relieved their head coaches, Billy Napier, and Jay Norville, respectively. Relief is the stupidest word for it. And now you take your rest. Thank you for your service. I mean, you don't have to coach that team anymore.

So that part's good. Let me update the scoring tallies right now. Server has nine points. Ryan has eight plus. Wow, Ryan, you have 14 points. Holly has, gosh, five plus four. Holly has 10 points. Field was a pretty good bit.

Yeah, based on, and then Spencer, you have... It's totally intentional. Spencer has nine points as well, and I am up to three. So Ryan is in the lead, and I'm the one who will be relieved. I think it's important that everyone's on the board, and it's only mid-October. Yeah, that's a great sign for the health of the, like, sport. If we had done this game last year, it would have been very different. I don't think it would have been fun at all.

This year, boy. I mean, it's mid-October, and there are double-digit points on the board. Yeah, it's like, firing a coach this year is, like, standing from the Louvre. Just get your ladder truck and get your little chainsaw. You're good to go, man. I am doing this for the people. Literally. Thank you.

Thank you, Florida, for firing Billy Nation. How are you going to be Florida state and be like, fuck, we don't have the money to... Just go to the Louvre. Solve your problems. There's free money in the Louvre. Come on. Also... There's stuff.

they didn't take you know it's there if you want more uh top discussion about uh the firing of billy napier there's an hour of it already on our patreon yeah this is all you'll get for today um by the way for real you know you and i we all know florist date grads who would go rob the louvre right now like by name that was true before mike norvel was back on the coaching hot seat yes frankly i would be uncomfortable planning a heist without bud elliott yeah what dude do we're going to man how many great how many great would be capers fall apart before they even get started because nobody thinks to budget yeah yeah bud would be like you got snacks we need a quartermaster yeah i'd like seriously we could probably go on campus right now and recruit like four really excited dudes to do this with similar results right glitter guys you're our distraction oh man they could hide the jewels on their person oh the beautiful you know how you can wear those those printed masks and full like retinal cameras and shit yeah yeah the glitter guys have that for their entire body they should be jeweled i saw a faberje man he was

the most beautiful thing i have ever seen i would follow him to tallahassee oh france i hope nobody from france has ever been to tallahassee like we've we've got we've given france enough problems i i love this plan are there already by the way with the glitter guys they could be Did they leave anything behind and they're like, only magic? So much, so much. Their essence, but not amygly there. And there's zin packets. Where do they keep the zin packets?

They are made of zine. This is private. As you zin to zin to zin. I forgive this in there. Hate the zinn, not the winner. That's it. Can you imagine having to explain to interpol? They would be like, okay, Mr. Hall, Mr. Hall.

Is you're in glitter? Yeah, they're wearing glitter. It's just all of their bodies. Why, why? I think you're, I think you're, I think you're, you're getting, you're assuming that introducing Zin to Interpol will, will advance to an interview and not result in everybody in the building immediately flooding out the doors to go find some Zin. Yeah.

Yeah. They would probably, they would probably be like, there's just Scandinavian habit. He's very cold. it will make you unemotional emotion is the blood of life you do not want to be swedish their minds are like an ikea surgical and a doubt oh i think you mean there's couples fighting in them yeah there's a couple which actually makes a lot of sense too i fight with my lover and then we make love um yeah this is this is my favorite thing to ever happen i'm so happy and yes we can get Florida state that buyout all we need to do is go back to the Louvre with four

bros and but Elliot and we got this thing done all all you need at it you're probably like well you know I don't know they're probably you just need a ladder that reaches the fourth floor that's it you're good to go ah shit actually the only way the Florida state thing will fall apart is if there's an argument over the power tools right there'll they'll be the ones you're like I ain't using that yeah can't believe you brought a DeWalt I'll bring a gas powered I don't care what you say. Electric, it's just not a car. It's a great asphalt bridge.

It'd be caught immediately because they're trying to pour gas into the tank of a scooter. They're honking in a fence because they're being robbed by Americans. Loud, loud. Wait, wait, what if we just get Florida State fans to pull up in, like, one of their normal work-a-day lift-kitted trucks, like their everyday drive? That'll reach the third floor, just stand on the roof. Yeah. Also, the, the, like, stun effect of pulling up to that at the Louvre, sick. All I can think about is doing the car case taste from the French connection, but with, like, F-150s.

Jean-Louis, there is a transformer outside. It's terrifying. The French would be like a vulgar object, huge, tetanique, but compelling. Who is Morgan Wanen? This cup you have, a Yeti, a mythical beast. You command the meats of time. What beverage commands such excess in size and insulation? I love France so much.

Assault laugh, you are a man of the sea. Top five country. Top five fucking country. Top five countries. Here we go. Please break Mulfrit for our friends, these sellers. We have made server take off his glasses so many times in this episode already.

This feels like a land speed record. Tell me more about these Christians. Every child, he just has his hand over his eyes. Chris Wanky, the grandpa, who was a boy? Tell me more. Brandon Whedon was a good quarterback because he understood how short life can be. We understand. You also have a king.

You called Jimbo. It's very wealthy. I'm looking to do a little hunting in the Jardin to Luxembourg. It says garden. You've got to have some deer. Listen, if there's one thing France loves more than old money, it's new money. Get over there, Jimbaugh. Yeah.

The south of France is actually not part for France. There's no loss. We don't tell Americans this little secret. This city's called Nice, huh? Well, prove it. Um, I wanted to share an Auburn fact and this is, no, whoa, what a vibe shift. God damn. Perfect. No. All right. All right. We've exhausted talking about everything. We're back to chiropractor talks. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So I wanted to share a little Auburn fact, okay,

which is that right now, Auburn fans, you can put your hands over your ears if you want, or you can live with me in truth. Um, Auburn at this point, um, Auburn, at this point, point in the 2025 season has lost four in a row. That's bad. That's bad. Big programs usually don't lose four in a row unless you're Auburn because I thought looking at this, I was like, oh man, Hugh Freeze, Hugh Freeze can't survive another four game. Spencer, can we make this a game? Yeah, yeah, I would love to. Can you make, because I, I think I know where you're headed and I went and looked up these numbers. Can we, can we play a game with, uh, with Ryan and server and Jason? Yes. Yes. Before 2025, I'm going to ask the field this. When was the last time Auburn lost four in a row?

Don't overthink it. Not everybody all at once. Is it the year Chisick gets fired? What's that, 2012? The answer is 2024. Okay. Because they lost four in a row last year to Arkansas, Oklahoma, Georgia, and Missouri. Okay, but before then. Okay, but yeah, before that, before that, when was the last time they lost four in a row? Before 2024. That would be 2023. Yes.

That is correct. But before that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That four game losing street, by the way, it was two. Texas A&M, Georgia, LSU, and Ole Miss, three out of the four were ranked. Okay, but for real, but for real, before that. Are we stretching, now are we getting into Harson territory? So probably 2022.

Correct. Actually, that is technically incorrect. Why did they lose five? They lost five in a row. They lost five in a row that year. To LSU, number two, Georgia, number nine, Ole Miss, and then Arkansas and Mississippi State. Yes, they lost five in a row. It can't.

Okay, but before that. Before that, before 2021, before 2022. We were just saying 202. So that means it was. 2021. Before 2022, sorry. So, yeah, I'm going to say Spencer accidentally tipped it. I did. I did, right? You're savvy. Okay.

You're savvy and I'm a terrible game show host. But before 2021, 2020 2020 was a weird year for everybody. So before 2021, when's the last time Auburn lost four in a row? 2019. It was not. It was not 20. No, it was not 2020. It was not 2020. Idiot.

These are all very, these are all very good guesses. But no, they actually, at that point, we did actually have to go back a couple of years and go all the way back to one of my favorite years of Auburn football ever. That would be 2012. Okay. But after that, it was all fine. Okay. Yeah, after that, it was all fine.

Sometimes on this show, we get accused of picking on or hating on this or that program. or that program with what could only be described as the mildest of ribs. When we're actually picking on your program, by the way, when we are attempting to cyber bully a football team in the abstract, this is what that looks like, just for the record. Yeah. It's easy to spot. So, like, you know, when we're talking about programs who can complain a little,

I'm going to let Auburn complain a little. I feel like what you've accidentally done is given Hugh Free's a tool to say, like, Well, this is the legacy. This is, look, look at what I'm dealing with here. Historic Auburn football project. I'm, I'm fighting uphill with the shit hand I've been tilt. What do you expect me to do? Five years in a row.

Five years in a row of losing at least four games in a row, in a row. Not just four games, brother. Yeah, sure. They've lost more than four games in many of those years. No, you catch, you, no, you're catching at least a four pack straight every single year since 2021. If you're Auburn football. so why did you stumble upon this because I had the question I was like okay I was like oh man he free sucks this question started in innocence right yeah yeah for once it started an

innocence I was like oh man here we'll say something nice Auburn does not have the aura of a program that typically goes on like a four game tummy slide every season but you know we we regret the error our first yeah so what so looking at Auburn schedule if they lose at our Arkansas, which Arkansas is volatile enough that, sure, that's possible. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Would there be any motivation for Arkansas in its current configuration managerially to drop a nuke on Auburn? Definitely not.

Definitely not. No, don't Google Bobby Petrino, Auburn. No connection there whatsoever. They would then need to beat Kentucky at home to not extend this losing streak to six. As we all know, Kentucky almost beat Texas, obviously a quality team. that means a lot that means a lot yeah let's not talk about who kentucky's playing this week we won't not one bit um i love you guys yeah we also have um i think another we've talked a lot of politics oh my god i just looked up the kickoff time i that's why i wasn't going to talk about that's why i

wasn't going to talk about it oh 745 the devil's i think they used all their night magic against texas for what it's worth. That's the meanest thing you've ever I'm not I'm not trying to do a thing here. Saying that is the meanest thing you've ever said. All right, all right. Don't, don't coddle me. I'm fine. We do have another

we have another bit of important political news which is that Texas Tech has decided that they are going to ask fans to stop throwing tortillas on the field. I would like to propose a solution though. Okay. And it's one Holly came up with which I want to at least do this if you're not going to throw tortillas pre-pre-game all right then what what should we do Holly I don't

remember what you're talking about came up with this okay awesome I'm sorry I'm not trying to no sell you I don't remember saying this one one gigantic tortilla launched by a celebrity pregame that's it like a six-foot tortilla like a trophy and a tortilla launcher just take like instead of everyone throwing one at Atlanta United games right we have a celebrity will be like Who's throwing the tortilla? You remember the old Ninja Turtles car that would shoot pizzas out of the top? You're talking about that, but big tortilla.

Yeah. Yeah. Just one gigantic UFO-sized tortilla, right? Because I was like, I was like, I was like this, but I stand by it. It's got to be kind of fucked up and weird because it's Lubbock. And I was like, well, what's weirder than shooting a UFO-sized tortilla officially as part of your pregame? Could you drop the tortilla from a, from a helicopter? Would that work?

Yeah, whatever, man. Do you want to have a paratrooper tie it up like a parachute and just sail that bitch in? Go right ahead. Well, that's how Spencer killed a troop when the tortilla did not deploy the way a parachute was. Spencer hates America. The zoo. Yeah, that is that is my proposal. That's actually how to proposal on how to.

Yeah, I know. You don't remember saying it. I thought it was brilliant. One huge tortilla. can you imagine like hi i'm patrick mahomes i'm here to throw out the tortilla the tortilla yeah i was born to throw this tortilla there we go it's just jelly roll i love on tortillas and marburne's brian did you and jason get not that you would ever listen to the show but did you guys

get a chance to get to listen to the end of after dark word server just um Serber is canonically jelly roll. Yeah. Now I don't have to listen to the real thing, and I don't want to. They put a breathalyzer on my razor scooter. Yeah. I robbed the Louvre. Yeah.

I made moonshine from Fritos. If you would like to listen to Serber channel jelly roll, but make it better also, you can subscribe for the mere price of $4 a month, or whatever you want, we love joke score. We love joke scores. We love joke money amounts. $4 a month. We'll get you into the shutdown fullcast,

Patreon NIL collective booster thing. Outfit. Thank you. Yeah. You know what that is. That sounds like podcast business. Podcast business. What's a business?

Podcast business. What's the business? Podcast business. That's a hell. I love a doink. It's the best toink ever. Maitner comes from 2020-Biss in Indiana. Yeah, brother.

I'd like to be clear, Holly's been using the buttons now. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. We've made, what do you mean? We've made mistakes on this program. Never has there been a mistake, maybe. This is like a butterfly effect. I can see the future.

There's a lot of stuff that's going to come out of me discovering the button in the back end here. that says more sounds. Hit more sounds. Who would like to go first on podcast business? Folks, just a few days after this recording, October 29th, it's a Wednesday in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. There's going to be a shut down full cast live.

It's the Homefield Can't Miss Kickoff tour presented by Modelo. Tickets are available. They're pinned on our blue sky. They're pre-owned airboats. They'll be in the show notes, so on and so forth. You come on down, you get 21% off new homefield gear. You get a free Modelo. As noted last week, if you are a Patreon member,

DM us there to let us know that you have bought tickets and you will get an additional Modelo. Your Modelo will birth a Modelo forth from itself and a miraculous conception. And you will also receive a homefield coozy. Again, if you DM us to get on the Patreon list. Also, we will be doing, we've called it Halloween disasters, but I'm opening it up to spooky disasters,

just to be clear that this doesn't have to have happened on October 31st itself. That spreadsheet, we're recollecting those stories. It's, I don't know, it's like, we've posted on blue skies sometimes. Just scroll around, and we'll put it on the show notes again. If you've emailed, that's fine. I'll slide it over. Yeah, I think that's it. Anything else on that show?

There's a lot of details. It's on the beach. If you want to bring beach gear, a blanket, great. We're doing a costume contest. Bring Spencer a hot dog. If you want to bring Spencer, a hot dog and a blanket and a costume. If you want to burden Spencer with gear that you have stolen from the Louve. I'll be so mad.

If you want to buy Spencer, a hermit. If you're going to give Spencer the brooch. Come on down, folks. I'll be so mad, not because I'm being handed stolen goods, but because you gave me something. I'll be like, what am I going to do with this? Give Spencer the $10 million earrings. And a pet turtle.

Give him a little baby turtle. A turtle, a hot dog, the scepter that you stole from the Louvre, a blanket, a towel. An empty pinata. A jack-a-lantern. And we'll give you two Modellos. Yep. And a baguist.

Here is the fresh baggates for you. And depression. You already had that. Come see me cry on the side of the pavilion. You'll give you additional depression. Also, your new beer will pull you a new beer to paraphrase, two chains. You'll have your spouse beer and your mistress beer. Yeah, you're supposed to be Mr. Spear.

It's your lover beer. Beer for you, beer for your lover. Wonderful of the French government. My beer got a beer, got a beer friend. Beer got a beer friend. How is that not a Jason Aldean song? Might be. My beer got a beer friend.

I will go next. Hey, you love newsletters. You love college football. You love quality content. You love us. And that's my house. I mean, not only the forecast, but. You love quality, and you also love us.

You love chiropractics? Is it chiropractics? 100% newsletter. You love everything on the range from quality, to us. Yeah, that's right. Channel dash 6.govost.io, that is the website for the Channel 6 newsletter, which of course you can find out any of our social media bios.

Holly and I produced the Channel 6 newsletter. We are currently in full swing for the season, meaning that we give you the top, whatever, where we rank whatever teams we want to rank this week, which we did. Indiana, I'm pretty much going to put Indiana at like one or two every week until something drastic happens, which won't because Indiana is evidently never going to lose a football game ever again. but we write about the games we write about things after we write about whatever we want two things a week is the solemn promise we've been tent a little bit more than that this season and we'll probably keep doing that you also get access to our pre show chats our pre game chats which happen in the morning on most saturdays where we not only talk about the games that are going to happen we also answer your questions about life the universe everything baguettes french power tools etc so uh again channel dash 6 goes to io the channel 6 newsletter two things a week for the low price of ten dollars a month it's awesome um fandom island is the podcast that i do with stephen godfrey

sometimes about college football a lot more about college football than we anticipated at the start of the year we were like i don't know maybe we'll do some stephen coach gossip here and there and then the whole coaching world decided to blow itself up and so there's been a lot more of that than I think either of us anticipated. But there's more non-college football coming up. We're going to talk to Roger Sherman about the CFL soon, as in the Canadian Football League. And we have, by the time this is going up, we have an episode that you can listen to where Godfrey just bathes himself in 90s nostalgia, and we try to figure out if there are

other teams like the Seattle Mariners that are inherently likable to outsiders. Did we record that the night before they lost? heartbreaking game seven yes we did and we're very sorry about it and i was worried it was going to happen but stephen made it happen so if you want to blame him stephen godfrey that's that's who you blame for these things calling someone lovable you listen to it you listen to phantom island and you say why did the falcons fan decide to get his falcons all over the mariners why they had enough on their own i don't think anyone said that i think they were just like i think it's like like oil and water they're like these substances do not mix and each has their own problems they mix

much much too well yeah that might be it like you know it fits this oil spill more oil right yeah god damn if godfrey if godfrey as a sports fan took up hobbies in real life he'd be like yeah i'm into ultra marathons and uh investing in leaded gasoline invest in i mean just be into things that we're punt like he'd be one like let's look at it positively what he sounds like. I don't know why I did that voice. Like the negative Godfrey would be I hate myself and want to die. Sure. The positive Godfrey is, I like to

do hard things. I'm the chair of the Florida Democrats. One vote at a time. Hey, listen, he got thrown out of Ole Miss twice. He's always loved to do hard things. That's true. One day we're doing all. He'll tell you this himself. I know.

How the fuck did anyone do that? Listen, he failed business calculus three times which he will also tell you i didn't flunk out of florida they make it hard to honestly they don't make it hard to flunk out of old miss well when you're when you when you won't dress the way like when you're wearing an all black you stick out at old miss wait a sec who's that it's a shadow step stephen goth free wow how have we never there's a there's a costume contest wear black lipstick and a little press hat yeah that's right shout out and respect all the goths by the way next hot weather goths we we welcome you to myrtle beach yeah uh server killer ants has a show coming up before too long yes uh it's like a month away november 22nd in nashville at 27 club it's only five dollars um which you know as i said earlier after i pay my bandmates and the sound guy and bartender and And the door person, I make nothing, nada, zilch, zero, it's a wash.

So why do I do it? Baby Michael, why do you do it? I'm selfless. So yeah, come to that show and then listen to the full cast after dark on your way home. Night games will probably suck that week anyway. That's the week before rivalry weeks. Everybody's playing like FCS teams, I think. Socon Challenge weekend.

Get you some killer ants instead. Yeah, come on. other than that listen to Hand in the Dirt buy our stuff we've got stickers and all kinds of stuff so listen to us subscribe to us and yeah subscribe to the Patreon here

and to Phantom Island dot show because those things help me too hey one more thing I read a great news letter today called Until Saturday I was wondering if I could somehow talk to somebody about it. I only want to read it if it's free well here and look it is so free

well hot damn it doesn't cost any money at all to subscribe to the until Saturday newsletter. In fact, if anyone were to try to pay money for it, there is not even like a processing option. You know what I mean? Like there's no money button on it. So all you do is you Google until Saturday or you click on one of the articles I've posted recently

because they're all that newsletter. And then you find a little button that says subscribe and then you get it. And you get as far as free college football newsletters go, let me put it this way. It is the best free college football newsletter. So it's really not close. So it's unstealable?

Yeah, yeah. I realize that's awkward for... Challenge accepted. For those of us who would prefer a little action in our life. But, yeah, you really can't possibly steal it. If I wanted a no money button, I'd speed down my wife. I'd just be a Florida State booster. Is that what time is it?

Has that happened yet? Nope. And nobody knows what it will. Just figured it would drop director. Don't worry. Florida State's athletic director is in the film room making this team better day after day. My favorite thing. What the fuck are you doing?

Strep it up, boy. How are you making the same better? We are committed. I am making flapjacks to make these boys bigger and stronger. I'm picturing that situation room bin Laden photo, but with like Ronald McDonald's in the motherfuckers, like, reviewing game contracts for the year 2039. That's your job. No, it isn't.

I'm in that A gap. Don't worry. Disrupting. I'm trying to get a 2030, 2045 game against Northwestern. That's, I'm hard at work, hard at work. Boys, we're playing the entire 2032 season in Riyadh. And we're playing it now. We've got to get rid of Mike.

So many non-conference conference games for Florida State. Fuck, we're playing. win cow four times all right boys I know it's been a long season but I booked you all for the Riyadh comedy festivals to start working on those tight fives that is so problematic

I can't believe my favorite joke people took money for something bad you know the Florida State football team has been my favorite comedian over the past call it a year and a half it has reliably produced more laughs than all comedians combined

Sure. And like Bill Burr, every once every 12 years, you're like, hey, that guy's all right. And then you're like, never mind. Oh, why did I believe? I defended you. Mike Norville has given me more laughs than Whitney Cummings ever has. Listen, the Mike Norville era as a whole has given us more, let's just let's throw, let's throw a blanket statement over it, has given us more entertainment, like more volume of entertainment of many kinds. Sure.

When they win, it's funny. When they lose, it's also funny. When they're ranked, it's very funny. Yeah, when they lose to Stanford on a replay that could have maybe gone the other way, but it was blocked by an ass. It's hilarious. It did a two hour and 15 minute full cast after dark that started after 11 p.m. When we were done, there was still almost an hour of real time left to go in the Florida State Stanford game.

can i tell you that my favorite complaints about this going on uh florida state message boards were this half of them were why is it so late it wasn't like outrage at the game they're like we lost and i didn't even see it because we fell asleep like half of them were about please why are you putting this game on so late oh shit i have to be up in four hours to rob the lou we got to go take some more those jewels boys mike warville ain't going away by himself i mean i think it's like it's the think we talked about ahead of time was like everybody's going to see this like anyone who's awake looking at football they got nothing to look at but you and if you lose it's what the whole east coast is going to wake up to and florida state keeps ending up in these situations where they're

the only game on ironic ben that they lost on a replay that nobody could see yeah yeah oh we're very indignant about what happened at 2 a.m. i guess you shouldn't have been out at 2 a.m. yeah we nothing good happens not all right also is that podcast was this I think it's a podcast business, and we're now looking at the schedule. I'm just going to tell you weeknights, br-br-bl-bl-br-bl-br-br-br... Friday night, Montana, Sacramento, State, late. Big Sky Conference, best conference. Shouts out, Big Sky, yeah.

Kansas State does play Kansas. What, Palet, Virginia Tech isn't doing it for you? Kansas, Kansas State is on Saturday. It is on Saturday. There is an actually... I was right, wait, before... Sorry, before any of that, y'all. We got a national championship preview.

or at the very least a Big Ten championship preview. UCLA Indiana. Yeah, thank you. That and additionally, the SEC's biggest rivalry, Ole Miss, Oklahoma, which is one of the SEC's new protected annual rivalries. It really a series like this, you don't even need rankings with all the history between these two, the time they met at the Independence Bowl, the other time.

You put all that together and you can throw all the other shit out, but these teams are six and one to rank. in the top 15. So there are stakes, not a rivalry like this, needs them. Yeah. By the way, in terms of disrespect mining, that's already started, Lane Kiffin did learn from the master, Nick Saban, and at his side, managed to take all the secrets of disrespect mining. And by doing that, by the way, Lang Kiffin said that they do some unusual things. And apparently Brent Venables was like, unusual, huh? And I'm like, come on, Brent Venables, you're freaky. You're freaky. Look at you.

Have you watched your defense? Don't be like, oh, I'm offended that Lane Kiffin would call my defense unusual. I'm like, but you drop in 3D linemen in coverage, throwing some dude off the bench, right? Like, no, don't act like what you do as normal. I've seen your diagrams. Also, look at yourself. We've seen you as well. Skeletor.

Skeletor, ask coach. Coach, your Memphis Tigers, I understand you're back at Memphis now. USF is coming to town. This could decide a playoff bid, coach. This really could decide. to play off that like for anyone just now tuning in that that no that's not a joke no not a joke at all um additionally this is a big uh this this will be a terrible get right game from memphis after a tragic loss to uab not every subsequent game is a get right came also i love the american

because when you do the cities it's like who it what is this a battle between you're like the metropolis of tampa and memphis the aac if you call the aac you'll be trebushed. The conference is composed of cities that would appear in a knock-off video game where they don't have rights to use the real names of the baseball teams. So it's Tampa, Memphis. It's cities where, in the spirit of Ryan having to go pick up his kids, I'm going to say what I think he would say here. And these are cities where you might really want to see the Olympics, but you're never going to get the Olympics. Like what that might look like, but it's not going to happen. Cities where like the Miami Olympics would put put like the drag racing

exhibition of the Olympics. Yeah, that's right. We don't have enough room for drag racing, but Memphis is volunteered. Oh, there's tandem skateboarding. That's in Memphis. Yeah. This is, I think this is just going to be a fantastic American classic. By that, I mean, both the conference and for national pride and prestige. Complimentary for once. I do think this is a good game. I do think you're going to see like two teams that are, I think, more similar. They're both basically like run, heavy spread teams that occasionally have like these massive, like great defensive plays and then some also some ghastly defensive plays.

So yeah, I think this is going to be very exciting. Byron Brown is still essential viewing. So by all means, tune in. Additionally in the early slate, we have Auburn, a team that has notably lost several games in a row, is a road underdog against the Arkansas Razorbacks who, God help us, but Bobby Petrino has those young men two weeks in a row, they have competed. They're, they look better.

I hate to say it, but they're better than Auburn. Auburn's going to have to do it. He's the man for that job. A sousonne of comfort French word for all of us. It will just make it that much funnier when he gets this team up and running and then like goes to take the Virginia

tech job. Yeah. Am I saying Arkansas should hire him? No, I'm saying they're better that they were. Yeah, they're better than they were. Now, am I saying he's going to get hired against all good advices? That is also It just might not be in Arkansas. That is a yes. Yeah. A kid like,

should they? No. Will they? Yes. Are they better? Yes. Wait, have we been over, have we been over who it is exactly that wants Bobby to have this job because I feel like that answers the question. Well, I'll give you a clue. He's a real star. Uh-huh.

In the afternoon games, Vandy's the biggest game, that's normal. Mizzou against Vandy. It's how, I'm, I'm kind of sick of seeing Vandy get the spotlight. It's week after week after week. I know. But, you know, the, uh, the SEC is about propping up their, you know, their academic stalwarts. Well, the biggest brand. The biggest football school, the best football school.

um they get the biggest spotlight blah blah blah poor little alabama has to go to south carolina nobody's going to give a shit because vandy's playing at the same time i feel i feel like anybody else interested in winning so don't ask me how this works but i had this thought that both of these guys are coaching for the other's job in this game so after after florida hires elizu is like we'd like to have that clark lee swing your partner dose ago vandy hires Billy Napier or James Franklin goes back home

that's really not a bad idea to come on home James damn I like I like that idea yeah that's I just kind of had the thought I was like is everybody going to play musical chairs so hard that it's like

I'm in Nashville shit they trade jobs both somehow more rich because sure yeah it's like we'd like you to do a job that's sort of equivalent at a higher price because we

like value. That's it. You can just defend any of these as an AD by being like, we really did it as a value higher. That's why. And Diego Pavia goes to Mizzou and becomes their greatest quarterback ever. See it? In year. In year 12. In year 12. I don't think of any others. Oh, shit. I accidentally dis Chase

Daniel and I did not mean to. All respect to Chase Daniel. Diago Pavia is better. Underfeated number 11, BYU is a road underdog against Iowa State. There's a lot of calamity and danger on this schedule. Things of that nature. also a way of saying we don't have a lot of obvious matchups so they're all very dangerous

it is it is a very like cobbled together scale this is a last minute group project of a schedule Oklahoma State is a 38 and a half point underdog at Texas Tech I believe in them and like the computer ratings they're down in like the bottom fucking tent like I know there's a thing like fire coach we don't care about team anymore but Oklahoma State is doing special stuff special stuff yeah 38 and a half point dog Listen, you want to sing a song. I got the blues for you to sing. Texas got to go play it, Mississippi State.

God. Ugh. Get it out. Like, this game's going to be like five to four. And I can't wait. I can't know. I'm telling you, this thing's going to be. This thing's going to be a Francis Bacon painting.

It's going to be beautiful. You're going to be like, why is there meat and horror? And you had a strange eroticism about the whole thing. Can I interest you in a, a power conference team who is a five touchdown underdog that has not fired its coach. Brother, am I breathing? That would be the Wisconsin badgers who are going for their third straight shutout. They're playing at Oregon.

What kind of shut up? They're 34 point dogs and the total is 44. So Vegas is saying like, ah, they might get like five. I'm very, very interested in Wisconsin. In the newsletter this Sunday, I devoted like, four paragraphs to Wisconsin and not more than like two sentences to anyone else. I'm zeroed in on this team. Can I ask you a question? Are you interested like a vulture?

Are you interested like house watching a sick patient? I don't gain anything from from Luke Vickle being fired. I didn't say that. I was just saying are you morbidly interested? You remember on ESBS when we used to say this game is interesting in the way that a perfectly preserved dead bird with no visual injuries that you spot on the sidewalk is interesting? That's Wisconsin right now. I just want to see, like, they're the team that every week they do something they haven't done since year, blah, blah, blah. And they're on the kind of run where every year number gets smaller, you know?

Yeah. Like last week it went from 1980 to 1968. How far can we push this? Well, in Wisconsin's like we don't, I don't think we talk about this enough because of maybe the bigger personalities and bigger profiles and bigger drama that is swirling around like Wisconsin's traditional, 10 neighbors but you know they're not ohio state but they do have you know historically a very high floor for this program that we have just barreled through and are continuing to dig deep yeah i mean you get rid of the big 10 west and well mhm structurally we thought it was just the basement but brother there's a sub and a sub basement

it just keeps going down there turns out playing perdu eight times a year you know once you get rid of that oh shit and yes there are other problems as well um Um, it's an SEC heavy day. The, the, the biggest games are SEC, uh, ANM, LSU. That's going to be your biggest evening game. Um, and I cannot wait to, you know, put together the watch grid and someone to say like, oh, SEC propaganda. It's like, look, man, look, these are, these are the biggest games.

Listen, last week was like all big 12, all big 12 excitement, right? And, and a little, it's just the way it goes. Yeah. This is just, just, just happens to be an SEC heavy week, including. A&M is only a two and a half point favorite. I, Which. Sure.

Sure. Let's go with that. LSU is now, I think LSU is the new Florida here in that every single game they're going to be, they're going to be like, ooh, they're only a four point dog. Ooh, maybe they could pull this one off, right? Like, they are the new gauntlet team, I think. Can we, I would also put them as the new. I only remember the rest of their schedule. Oh, sure, they play Bama next week.

Yeah, so I was right. This is the, they're also the new, they're also the new, they're also the new, uh, they're also the new death watch team. Michigan is the new, no, thank you. not at all yeah Houston Arizona state that's much better there we go that's real ball yeah I really I like Texas A MLSU because the biplane returns this is when we put Brian Kelly like on simmer like

all right this is when we turn him up I think he's on simmer right now this is when we make are we making a rue I think this is when we want to get that nice brown color right we want to go ahead and get a little bit are we browning him in the bottom of the pot you know that doesn't feel like what that doesn't feel like a description of what happen to him if he loses to a and m and then he cruises into alabama because then then the the panic really starts to creep in there it is fricacy hour yeah i wanted to do this before we like as our capper because i just i like the idea of calling this shot and then possibly deleting

it after if it's totally wrong okay that's something that we do yeah yeah i'm going to list every open job or every job that's going to get fired okay that server can just dub in over you like when i fucked up right that's what we're we could just all do the correct answers right um so we're just going to go over this um it looks like kansas will win right um who gets the florida job lane who gets the arkansas job gus who gets the florida state job wait am i doing all these i'd standby could jump in okay i i said i'll i'll hop out on those two sir yeah server can jump in that's fine there we go why haven't we heard dion for auburn is what i'm curious about now do you want the real wait have you do i mean do you with a real answer

yeah because i think dion retires due to health reasons at the end of oh yeah that's right okay yeah otherwise shit yeah i mean you have to throwing hats all over the place i think yeah i'm with you because i think if he was a candidate for anywhere he wouldn't be openly talking about like how much he's kind of going through it right now gotcha gotcha gotcha yeah so dion d and i believe is is probably out for health reasons if I had to guess. I completely forgot about that. Sorry. Yeah, these are,

this is outlandish guess hour. Who gets the Auburn job? Also, Gus. Yeah. I'll revisit that with Summerall, but yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Hang on. I'm going to put a different marker down.

Here's a fun one. Tulane rolls up a bag and Summerall stays. Ooh. Wouldn't it be fun? Because in the spirit of thinking the funniest possible outcome for UNC would be Bill Belichick in Chapel Hill for another year, wouldn't it be funny if for the second time in a year, John Somerall was the bell of all these balls? Oh, sorry, I heard that. And then, you know, Tulane is not a program without money. It's not a, is not a program without several deep pocketed individuals. What if he's, what if, what if there's all this drama and he stays for another year? I think that'd be the funniest. I think that would be extremely funny. And then Aubur would be on to the natural successor, which would be Eli Frank Witts.

Yeah. Tony Elliott, maybe. Are we ready? I'm not being flipped. Are we ready to go back there? I'm fucking, I'm fucking ready. If he,

I'm bringing back to Clemson right now. Only win national championships when he's in the booth. I mean, facts. Find those. Thanks. Continuing, Penn State, that's Matt Rule. Don't even.

Yeah, that's. I'm just going to cut that. I'm just going to cut that one off. Home stretch here. Virginia Tech. No one has made. I also, I also want to say Shane. Ooh, ooh, okay.

I like that. That creates a whole other problem that we won't address. Last question. It does. Who, what is a job that's going to come open that is not currently open? or openly under threat like Florida State Florida State is gone right like they're just getting the money I mean we already had Penn State

a job that's going to come open oh hmm server hit South Carolina I don't think he should do this because I'm enjoying watching what he's putting but he's putting it together but wouldn't it be like just fitting historically if if Jeff Brom left for the NFL or something I have I have

no reason to believe that he will. I was just, I was just spitballing. Spencer, do you mean a, do you mean a job that's going to come open because of the coaches being hired away or a job that is going to come open because the coach is being fired? I will take either. I will take either for this. I would like to see, look, I like what he's doing there. I would be very interested to see if a major program with a major opening takes a run at Kenny Dillingham. which you know given given being an alum seems you know way less than likely but i think we all know the answer we all know who everybody's going to be champing after it's scott satterfield i'll throw one more as i'll throw one more long shot in there

iowa finally you think finally i mean i'm just that that would give us a place to store mark stoops