Shutdown Fullcast - The Graceful Aging Episode

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

Jane Coaston joins us this week to discuss baseball, gambling in sports, Twilight Imperium, and other tribulations How our love of skating will scupper any chances we ever go to Mars USC students' current level of Grinch awareness Kids these days, in general An update on Channel 6's Dumb Bitches of History bracket This week's theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure Follow Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dare Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, wherever finer podcasts are placed Purchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As in have we confirmed he's alive? Oh, not since he left for, no, not since he left for Grand Canyon. No, we had a very serious talk about joking at the Grand Canyon. Okay. We know about the guy who pretended to fall. Oh, are you aware of the book Death in Grand Canyon? It's a thick, thick book that is nothing but stupid deaths in Grand Canyon. Yeah, it's a big book that's all at the Grand Canyon.

Yeah, and they really, a thing that I did not. realize until the dad who tried to fall over to scare his kids and then fell in and died yeah he's the best one um also a lot of i i do appreciate though that like in the western part of the united states all the national parks don't fuck around they don't care about you at all like if you go to like moab or something or arches it'll be like there's like a 400 foot drop is there a barrier no no no you just figure it out why because you get it's nature it's yeah if we put a guardrail there it would disturb a bird, and that bird is more important than you. I think it's a real testament to the human spirit that we can come upon the Grand Canyon

and be like, look what nature hath wrought. Look at this incredible death pit that the earth spat up, and we're like, you know what I'm going to do? Pranks. I'm going to do some pranks around this thing, because that's how supreme a heart species is on the ladder, maybe. This feeds into my theory that there aren't more handrails in the national parks, especially in the West, because that's where we feed the old ones. This is why we can't actually start colonizing Mars, because people will go and they'll

start fucking rat. Like, it's not like people would go to be able to focus on terraforming. They would pull people's oxygen host is out for fun. It's 100%. I would do that. You can't put handrails at Mars because we will grind them on our skateboards. That's right. A hundred percent.

If you could casually go to the moon, if you could casually go to the moon, 10 people would die every year. But is that not worth it for? low-grave skateboarding. That's what I'm saying. These are the trade-offs. How many people die in car accidents every year? We're fine with it.

Exactly. Like, why can we drive cars, but we can't drive to Mars, huh? The actual answer is that enough people have to want to do this, just have to want to. Jason, I don't think it's important to have to want to. Do we have a lot of, like, the only exception I can see to, like, prank environments is, like, low-oxygen environments. Because as far as I know, I know a lot about. people who have died on Everest. And I'm pretty sure once you get past like 25,000 feet, nobody's pranking.

No, there are no more. Yes, but that's because that's because it's so much work to get there. If there was like a gondola that would take you up to 20, 20,000 feet on K2 or whatever, then you'd be like, all right, it's time for some TikTok dances. Wait, Jane had I would kill them. I would kill them for their own good. I just want to be clear here. You said gondola up K2, and I became filled with rage.

I don't even know what to do right now. I am like, oh, this is how people like. The speech is made by the poor team working the door. Please keep your hands and arms and sons. Please do not litter on the face of God's creation. The corpses you see littering the trail are real. James, did you read ascension? Mm-mm.

Okay, good. don't. Okay. Just checking. Is that the book that you've been like telling people, you've been warning people away from it? Like it's like an abandoned cat that school or something? I haven't been warning people like a habit. I put my first anti-recommendation ever in the newsletter. Yeah. But what is it? Okay. I'll spoil it on here. Look, just for the record, I thought I might be just cranky. And then I texted it to my best friend who's currently getting her PhD in among other things curriculum design for literature and she was like oh i fucking hated

that thing so i felt this is a this is a book by a guy with the made up name of nicholas binge that was a highly highly recommended book to me and had a cool cover so i took it on vacation last month and it is a book about it has a really cool concept that goes absolutely nowhere like it's a a waste of a really good idea. The concede is that all of a sudden one day in the middle of the Indian Ocean, there's this mountain that dwarfs Everest that literally wasn't there overnight. And it's about this, you know, of course, there has to be an international team of, you know, it's like a, it's,

it's, it's like an emiric movie. You know, there has to be an international team of the, the, the Russian scientist and the English physicist and the hot anthropologist and, you know, they have to be sent up. Anyway, the first team just dies. And so this, The book is about the second team, and the entire plot of the book turns, and I realized this with 80 pages to go, well before this happened, because I don't know, I play too much spelling bee. The entire plot turns upon one character's name being, I am alien spelled backwards. Oh, what a LucasArts point-and-click game. I realized this, and I was, I almost.

I was reading it on my iPad, and I almost threw my iPad in the ocean. I was so fucking angry. There's nothing worse than being mad on a beach. Like, being mad on a beach, especially at a book. We were looking around like, look at this beautiful fucking environment, and I'm reading this shit. Magellan knows all about that shit. I'm on a streak right now of books that came that are, like, highly lauded that I really disliked. profoundly, but none of them

made me physically angry like this. So is that character an alien? Because it'd be pretty good if they were. Because I think I think it's great if you're, if that's where they get you. No, that's it. That's the whole thing. That's how the protagonist figures out who the bad guy is.

He realizes his name is I am alien spelled backwards. So it sounds like this person wanted to get caught. We get the fucking riddler over here. You can't. You can't be that mad at a dude who picked Nick Binge as his. I'm pretty, I looked him up because I wanted to make sure he's in English and stays over there. I'm pretty sure that's his real name.

Also, they mysteriously were like, his first book was only released in the UK. And I was like, well, that's good. But the second one, too hot for America. Two spicy. Nick. I don't know. I just finished this book, The Kindly Ones. And it was great.

Ooh. Yes. I love that. that book, but you know what I love even more? This dude spent five years researching everything you needed to know. It's a book about you are, it's the narrator is an SS officer

and it's go, he's everywhere. I can't even begin to explain it. Anyway, he spent five years researching this. He writes this book. It's like World War II Forrest Gump, but good. Is that fair? Yes. Yes. Not horny, but if Forth Gump was good and also. Okay. Yeah, if Forrest Gump

was good, but also like, Dude who happens to have a front row seat to several major events of history. Yes, he does. So we write this book. It's like 996 pages. And then he's like, I'm good. I'm going to go make this documentary now, but something totally unrelated. I love the idea that you would write one book and be like, well, I think that's all I got.

I'm good now. Do you know who else did this? And it's one of the best books I've ever read? The dude who wrote Library at Mount Char is like a computer programmer, from somewhere around here in Atlanta like he's from Mayreta or something and he wrote this he wrote this book that truly like

it's one of those things that like the last quarter of the book it turns into a different genre of book and I will not spoil it for you because it's fucking incredible and you should all go read it but he just he's a computer programmer and he had this idea and he wrote this incredible book and I went and looked on

online to see like what else he had written as soon as it was done because I was like, this is incredible. And a friend had given it to me. I didn't know anything about the author. And I went and I was like, oh, he has like five other books. Yeah, they're all like C++ books. They're all, they're all programming manuals. And then he wrote this.

It was like, I'm good. Is that twist, a character is named I am computer? No. No, it's just, it's, it's, it's incredibly violent. But in, other than that, if you're, if you're good with that, It really is one of the most incredible books I've read this century. But do you know, what were you going to ask, Jason? I was going to ask if you've read the Russian sniper lady novel, Diamond Eye.

Ooh. I have not. I'm basically touching up on. It's a lady who shoots a bunch of guys. I mean, as you know. Several of our alleys. Huge, huge supporter of women shooting people, specifically Nazis, ideally, unless it's like the Russo finished war in which I'm like you you just go nuts over there every woman should get two kills a year no questions asked if they're Nazis make it 2000 yeah yeah it really but um especially because I do appreciate that there was like this period in which the Soviet Union which was fucked up in every possible way but their one thing was like we think women can kill people effectively and if you have ever been a woman or known women you'd be like yeah but uh Jason I'm very much like

looking forward to discussing your excellent novel on 420, which you should not quit after writing. No. That's a, that's a great, a great sentence you've just said, Jane. I'm glad you've said it. Thank you for saying it. I will be in discussion with you. Speaking of books we fucking hate.

This piece of shit. No, I'm looking forward to discussing your book at a church in Ann Arbor on 420 with our good friend, Ace, Ann Bender. um i i am also i believe that there are some there is fellowship involved and i haven't attended a fellowship there better be punch someone had better oh fellowship there has to be punch and it better okay so i there there will be beers but as far as like that knockoff high sea and store brand sprite combo we need that as well with like there's a piece of fruit floating around there's a there's a there's a you get the punch ring the frozen punch ring oh you got to combine that

like country time lemonade Miles if you're listening We need shortbread cookies Okay, we need gross shortbread cookies It's an emergency A fruit plate would be good But it doesn't need to be good Because they never are

It just would really help me feel the moment, you know? Yeah, yeah Folks, we have convened Jane and I who That alone is an ecumenical council You add in ACE and you add in the Local Episcopalians That is that is everything

That is just about everything right there. In addition to everyone who should. Oh, Jane. The, we had to send out e-books to everyone who's bought tickets because they're all like, well, we have to do the reading beforehand. They're being incredibly big ten about it. I just figured you'd be proud to hear that. Fucking nerds. Fucking nerds.

They were like, I was detecting that they were getting like antsy about like, you mean we're going to be at an event that we haven't done the reading for. So. You know, but that's like. It's April 2nd. By the time this comes out, your time is sicking. If you haven't gotten around reading the book, Venmo me $5, and I'll write some close notes for you. If you want to fuck with one of your friends, Venmo me, and I will write fake ones for them. Yeah, all right.

Psychological warfare. We'll expose the Michigan State fans that way. Well, we announced the charity bowl today. It's time for me to start raising money. Yeah. As Holly knows, there's nothing more erotic than doing the reading. It's the hottest thing you can possibly do. Oh, God, nothing.

Especially if it's about audio adrenaline. You know, I've always said that, you know, if you mention enough Christian pop punk, that just that gets everybody going. It got everybody going, I don't know, like, we'll talk a lot at the event about, like, general youth group behavior, but I don't, and I don't know if we've talked about this, but, like, one of my favorite random. things about youth group is that like like occasionally extremely horny things take place in youth group environments but occasionally but like we I remember when I was in high school my freshman year you know with all these people who were pledging themselves for marriage the there was some game where you basically sit in each other's laps and are like I love you baby but I can't smile and like the first person to smile oh yeah oh yeah yeah basically you feel each

other up and even then I remember being like huh yeah there's like so much it's a tickling game adults who put this shit on are just oblivious and clueless like the like you have a four hour sermon about like don't touch each other and then you go to the fucking lock-in where you all lay under blankets and you have to identify each other by fumbling around under the blankets and whoever can and like and there's so many games like that there are so many games also let me church lock in I remember two things took place. We watched, we played that game and we watched The Matrix which... Yes,

yes, because it's about Jesus. Uh-huh, uh-huh. There's a Christ metaphor there. There are a lot of metaphors there. Did you notice it? Did you, the youth bastard? Did you happen to notice it? You noticed it, right? Please tell me you noticed it. We'll watch it again. Yeah, I...

What is the, what is the biggest stretch you think you could pull off to say this is actually a movie about Jesus? Fucking name the movie. Yeah. It's just like, This is Jason's calisthenics to do it. Chicken run.

Boogie Nights. I could do it. I haven't seen chicken. Boogie Nights. So, I mean, it's a young man who has a very special body. His body is broken. There's a big piece of wood. The wage of sin is death.

Sure. It is. Point break. Peter went surfing. surfing, right? Surfing is walking on water when you think about it. I mean, he tried to walk, but he ended up surfing. Yeah.

No, they're really, I'm trying, I'm trying and failing to think of a movie that I could not wedge in some vague allusion to Christian theology. Hitsy. I was trying to think, nope, nope, I think pretty much all of them. All of them. Okay. Cool. now wait i'll just go to i'll just go to starship troopers let starship troopers um okay so i mean you could take it at face value right and it's about it's about demons right you could do that

and that you know it's spiritual warfare any movie about war i guarantee a youth pastor especially if they're if they're you know some dude they can very easily say oh see that bad guy that's satan that's it that's it but if you view it as like satire then it's like oh well okay this is about Christian nationalism, right? So, like, on surface level, anything with guns or swords, that's... Easy pickings? Yep. Like, Godzilla versus Kong, okay, they're going to give you that.

They're going to say, like, oh, well, that's your sinful nature. That's your flesh versus your spirit. Yeah. Here's one. Freaky Friday. So at the, there comes a moment in a young person's life when they leave behind childish things and they become. an adult, as the Apostle Paul told us.

Sometimes it happens just like that. And you, you know, the young person rejects their family like Lindsay Lohan wants to do, but she, you know, at the end, would you not say that the

prodigal son returns and is given the fatted cast? You could say that. At my church, we, we, we, actually teach from nothing but Lindsay Loehan movies as a matter of fact. Yeah, sure. Mean Girls, of course, is about I am not of the world. I actually watched that in a class in Catholic

school. We watched Mean Girls in a what, it was a senior year religion class. We watched Mean Girls. Now, my theory is that it was because it was April of our senior year. And as you know, after like April 1st, no, no, no, no

does anything. No one cares. But I believe the nun who, uh, I cannot remember her last name, but if you attended Ursuline Academy in the early 2000s in Cincinnati, Ohio, please remind me of her name. She was really nice. And she was like, I think this is a nice movie that has a nice message. And I'm like, sure. We also, also watched Hannah and her sisters in a philosophy class. No, I think, I've been trying to figure out why we watched that for the last like 20 years, and I still don't know. Huh. Teacher was tired. Yeah. A lot got done. A lot got done at least. Yeah, a lot happens.

So, yeah, at this Ann Arbor event, we still have a few tickets available. Your ticket comes with a copy of the book. And, you know, there will be lots of hanging out. And I will try to make sure the menu is accurate and appropriate in addition to the years. We're allowed to drink a church. I'm going to, I mean, these are Episcopalian, so I assume they have, what, no rules at all? Yeah, as I understand. Yeah.

They were like, they were like, listen, it's 420, but please don't smoke weed inside the building. like for once you know try to restrain yourself yeah but uh yeah i think it's going to be a good time i'm looking forward to it um you know bringing bringing the gospel to annarbor michigan where uh we've already seen the mountain top so you know we basically had the transfiguration experience so uh we're all good did you not think i was going to bring this up right come on hey ryan i don't i don't know if you knew but Jane's alma mater is the current college football champion. I don't know if that's been covered.

This is weirdly actually made them easier to live with. It's true. It's true. Y'all can't do the woes me. Everything's going wrong stuff for at least a few more months. They pulled a handbrake turn on the Clemson path. And we're just, I'm sorry, Serber. I keep forgetting, I swear.

It's totally okay. I was I was listening to an old hand in the dirt this morning because I was looking for I was ever you ever have trouble explaining hand in the dirt like what it's really like to people yep okay cool usually I have to play one of I was looking for one of my favorite segments to people which is the segment where you and Hartzell are trying to bully Felder into using a mouse yeah that's a good one I mean it gets really it gets really dark and personal and like like before it's Overfelder's like, yeah, I think I have an eating disorder. And so I was going, anyway, I was, no, really, this is all in one episode. This is one part of one episode. This is a lot of character development. It's like the August 30th episode. Listen, if y'all don't listen to.

There's a reason I keep saying as somebody who makes part of their living on a podcast that Hand in the Dirt is the best podcast. But there's this, there's this segment, I found the segment and I was, I was listening. to the earlier part of the episode, and they brought up the Clemson, West Virginia Orange Bowl, the first one. And I was like, why are they apologizing to server? Like, I always forget, and it's a compliment to you that I always forget you like Clemson because you're such a nice person. Yeah. I mean, listen, I hide it very well. Like, I'm a Clemson fan. We all know I'm awful inside. Like, I am terrible inside. But I do you think I don't relate to this? But we are,

but we are, we are both theater kids. And so I appreciate your recognition of my my strong performance. Listen, I had, I just got through, I just got through two Tennessee teams doing deep runs into the tournament. I've had to explain a lot of things to people. You've been doing great, too. Let's, let's, let's give Holly your props as well. Fucking hell.

I've been doing great because I've been home alone and screaming at the walls. For some reason, Ryan has not been loud or boystress or anything about college sports. I don't know why, but I mean, good job for you too, Ryan. Now it's time for me to be worse about college baseball, which is awesome. and softball. Tennessee's on a run of being good at several sports and no one is handling it well. No one.

Of course not. No. Jane, do you know how not well we're handling it? I went on, we're not all like this with Ryan. And we went through the entire thing of who is your most hated figure. And I forgot about Charles Woodson.

What? Yeah, I didn't mention him. Charles Wilson is forgiven. He did not cross my mind. That's how back Michigan is. But, I mean, you know, there was a lot of time he crossed the backfield and got interceptions, which is why he won a heisman over Peyton Manning.

That's how that happens. Jane, you might be the first person to say that on this show. I, uh, I, I like. To acknowledge that particular heisman. I like bringing it up. But it's been actually great because, um, Michigan basketball has been, uh, complete shit, but everybody is so, everybody's like, it's cool, you know, you will worry about that layer. like the women were good they made the tournament they did their thing and hockey hockey's in the

foxes in the for but okay hockey made to the frozen four which is great however playoff college hockey is the worst thing that never happened it is the closest to death as you will possibly get in a sporting environment like it is awful there was a michigan played i think like north dakota state in the Frozen Four like 10 years ago. And the thing about like all of the big hockey schools is like half of them are like Cornell or Boston College where they have other sports. And half of them are like, we have one sport. It's hockey.

Everyone who plays it is secretly 40 and Swedish and like basically already plays for the Colorado Avalanche. And it's terrifying. So anyway, like a decade ago, Michigan gets to the Frozen Four with a goalie named Sean Hunwick who in my memory was like five foot five. This is probably not true, but I firmly believe it to be true. Um, and they won and I, I walked out of my house I lived in at that time and thought, I'm glad we won, but I could not watch a title game or else I will die. Like it genuinely, the frozen four, I would say of like the tensest, like college hockey at its best is like

the tensest college sport to watch because it's. feels like at any one time your life is over. Like, that's it. And I don't understand. I feel like that all the time. Yeah. But I think that's just like generalized anxiety disorder. There was a vault. No, shut up. That's not there. There's a, there's a, there's a Twitter person I mentioned the other day. It was like, my stomach has hurt since about seven o'clock last night. And I was like, that should be carved over the entrance to every athletic facility on campus. Yeah. No, and, um, how you do it? What's your, what's your cheer? My tummy? hurts. Only angry.

Yeah. Like, you know what? We're all like babies with an ear infection and we can't do anything about it, so we're just yelling and rubbing the sides of our heads. Yeah. There's nothing you can do to, there's nothing volunteer athletics. It'll go away on its own. There's nothing you can do to. Pour a little olive oil in there. There's nothing you can do to fix it. Maybe get some drops made out of something. No one really knows. I say this, I say this like the soft solution. I think this were like the soft oil. I think we're like the softball team, my dad is in a foul mood today because the softball team just had their 20-game win streak snapped by one game.

It's fear ruined his whole day. I'm thinking about this. Not with college baseball or softball, but with like people who get really into, like, as you know, I don't really believe baseball is an actual sport. Like, you know, minds might disagree, but I just, you know, there's not enough abject violence for me. but I have a friend who's like oh you know like major league baseball season allegedly has just begun I hear and I have a friend you might tune in this year there's some wild shit happening well until they get aluminum bats and a tackle policy I'm out I'm sorry you I think every yeah

I think the batter should carry the bat yes and then hit the people on the way and if you can't bring them down they get to keep going I think that's I don't see why people aren't into this solution. But I have a friend who is like, you know, he's a huge Orioles fan, which is already like deadly. Wow. But he's just like, oh, you know, I'm already like, we're, we have some winning record and I'm already like super mad. And I'm like, bro, it's April. You play for what a thousand games? I, you do not, I don't, I don't, I don't, baseball stamina is a different thing. Like, college football, you can be like, I can handle that level of sustaining. anxiety because I can it's between what like September and then maybe early January if things

all work out great like that's that's sustainable but like the people who and it's spaced out it's like once a week you have to feel this way yeah once a week oh you dropped three games between now and that Saturday it's your fun it's 2 p.m. on a Tuesday and I'm rage drinking yeah right baseball sometimes is like fuck we lost two games today there would be I I used to live, when I lived in D.C., I used to live, like, right next to Nationals ballpark. And there'd be double-headers because, like, a weather reschedule. And you just be, oh, oh, there's a baseball game today. There are two?

You're going to play two games right now? Today? Yeah, it's the challenge of being a baseball fan is that it, you can get signals that it's going to be bad early. But you are still technically on the hook for a long time. You're not like, if you're a college football fan and you're like, I hope we win the national title this year. Once your team loses three games, you're like, well, that's done. I don't have to worry about that shit anymore. With baseball, you're like, I don't know, especially if you play in certain divisions, you're like, I don't know, we're only 15 games under 500, but the leaders, four games under 500.

So maybe we'll catch them. I mean, we're in the AL Central. We're technically never eliminated. And then there's like, there's always some, like, the national. nationals won the World Series in 2019 after staging this like in yeah they really that's wild that really happened what was I doing in 29 never mind like I remember but the funniest part of that one is the fact that the people who own the nationals want to sell the team so they're like that can never happen again that was a big mistake um so one thing like there was this giant comeback after like

the all star break and so and the all star break comes sometime and the late summer that I don't remember. It's that chunk of time where there's absolutely no sports, even if you want something to put on while you're folding laundry. Yeah. You're leaning real hard on like, I think that's around the time where I'm like, should I just start getting really into like rugby league played in New Zealand,

which sometimes I do? The answer is midsummer murders rewashed. Yeah, this is where ESPN's partly used to air battle with the gridiron stars. Yeah. Fortunately, it's 24 seasons of midsummer murders, so I can always go back. Plenty to devour. It's funny. Now all these baseball people are like, oh, well, you know, we don't really know anything

until the All-Star break. And I'm like, but the All-Stra, it's fucking April. You've got like five months. That's so much data. And then, and then now the last couple years, because of change to baseball's playoff and just like, because this is how sports are, now it's like, cool, you want 110 games. You're out in the first round. Fuck off.

You're done. He lost one. bye you suck you fucking waste get out of here like it is football has you know college football I guess in theory has had the problem of like well there's there's so little data to go on you know most season you're only playing 12 games and like who knows who the best team is blah blah lots times you do but yeah I can understand how it gets tricky baseball is the opposite problem where it's like we have so much data and you want us to keep playing this we hate this and then they throw it all they do all that just to set up

a tournament all the previous shit doesn't matter anymore yeah and everyone turns into like the 182 games we did were just explaining the instructions now the game will begin oh my god this tutorial

it sucks every day it starts over at 105 Eastern now war games can truly begin daddy this is like what trying to explain Twilight Imperium is

Listen, I got that from my nephews for Christmas, and they are fucking furious. It's the worst thing. There's a dragon in it. That's all I got. I walked in on my friends playing it, and I was like, I would have rather walked in on you having sex. That would be more comfortable for me, more enjoyable for you. It would be over much quicker. Oh, infinitely quick.

Much less to explain. But yeah, no, I do appreciate that. baseball is now set up that everyone turns into the uh marty schottenheimer chargers like you're like yeah we went 14 and 2 and then you left immediately no but um no it's a it's also funny because i i've been in l. a i'm teaching a class at USC and um the dodgers have show autani who uh appears to have gotten himself out of this gambling scandal which the first thing i heard about it i was like oh honey oh boy it relied on like, one, do not let the person who may have done the thing have 90 minutes with an ESPN reporter because whatever he says, like, you're going to need to take it all

back, which happened immediately. And then that translator, like, I have not seen someone gets thrown under the bus that quickly in a long time. And I do appreciate that so much of this is based on like, oh, like this translator who wasn't his. friend, but who was his friend, took all this money. And then show I was like, oh, yo, I will pay the gambling people for you. The gambling people, it's illegal in California to be doing the sports betting, allegedly. And then they're like, actually that didn't happen. No one, none of that actually happened. Well, I'll move on. And it's, um, it's super weird. It's the first time, I like baseball scandals. Like, I don't like baseball, but baseball scandals are fun. But the

They all involve drugs or banging on things or, like, weird interpretations of rules or, like, massive cover-ups. I like that. They're also really old-fashioned. Like, they involve, like, cartoonishly old-fashioned racism. Yeah. Like, people getting called Spaniards as a slur. Yeah. Like people yelling old-fashioned racism while on the call during the game as the ball is flying out of the part.

Sure. Baseball, like, again, because baseball. baseball season is long and is steep in tradition of us. tennis is good for that too, I guess. Like baseball scandals all take forever. They either go away immediately, like this Otani thing seems to have been doing. Or it's like, well, we will conduct our third hearing before Congress five years later. And now we will get to the, it's like there is no, the pace of it.

Yeah. If you think the pace of baseball season is exhausting, the pace of a baseball scandal is just as exhausted. It's very NCAA. The cultural residents they have echoes forever, too. Like, this is all, this week is how I found out that people still get genuinely angry about Pete Rose, which baffles me. Yeah. Look, that's a little bit because Pete Rose is an asshole. Well, yeah, but I'm like, no, but I mean, like, in general, I'm like, is this not settled?

Like, is this not adjudicated? In what sense? I mean, I'm not, I'm not saying they're not allowed to have opinions. That Pete Rose is an asshole. I'm saying, I'm not saying people. are allowed to have opinions. I'm saying people are getting, like, I didn't wake up this morning and get, like, actively angry about someone who wronged to be 20 years. Now, that does sound like me. I was going to say, there's definitely somebody in this category. Like, would the

corollary be like someone who got busted cheating at football 20 years ago, and it didn't affect your team? I mean, I may be there are people who are super mad about Reggie Bush still, but I don't No, I think, I think everyone seems to come around. There are, but, but, but, but, like, people are still, people are still really mad about the fifth down. Like, that's just, no, I'm not. All right, maybe that's, I find it objectionable, but, uh, but entertaining. Yeah, well, it's also funny because you go back, like, there are a couple, I think my favorite football scandals are the ones that, like, like, like, Reggie Bush, I'm like, eh, a lot of that's, like, all, there's a bunch of scandals that just seem, are in the bucket. of would have been handled by NIL slash different era.

Like there's a bunch of stuff. Right. But then there's stuff like Arch Lector, which I watched a lengthy YouTube video on. He was gambling like at one, he was gambling on like Greyhound racing, which already you're like, oh, bad sign. But he was also like, he was going to the track with Earl Bruce. Like they were at the track at the same time. And Earl Bruce was like, I'm sure this is fine.

like also that archlifter's legal problems began in like high school college like while he was at ohio state and have continued to today because like last year he grifted some old like he grifted some old lady out of a bunch of money and i was like sir that's like 40 years of criming more than 40 years of criming like now see now i'm upset like arch i'm like that is a that's a good scandal because it's like it's like it's like it's like good scandal because it's like it's like he was doing something that would have been bad then and is bad now. And also, he has just continued to crime. So much continued criming. That's what they teach at Ohio State. I hear. That's what I'm saying. Down there.

Hotbed. Gumb and that dump. Yeah, I think people just think Pete Rose is tacky and annoying. Yeah. And, like, it's, like, talking about his ban from baseball and the gambling and all that is a good way to channel all of that feeling. Yeah. And to, like, we just think this guy is tacky.

Well, the Pete Rose thing, I mean, like, still being mad about it, it feels like an inherited opinion that you're just repeating. Just like, this is the way I, this is the assigned emotion you're supposed to repeat about him. Even Cincinnati, I think also, like, the funny thing, like, now, you know, I'm from Cincinnati. And it seems to me that, like, the further away Cincinnatians are from him being, like, a person that you would have anything to do with, like, there isn't, really very much a defensiveness of him anymore. Like, you still, I mean,

one of the, like, I think the baseball stadium is literally on Pete Rose way, but that was named, like, that was named, like, in the 90s. But now it just seems like, it's interesting. I mean, I was about to say, the passage of time is wild, and it is. But, like, that's been a funny thing. Because even the people who were super defensive of Pete Rose probably are, like, dead now. So everybody's kind of like, eh.

This guy seems like a dick. Like, I don't know. I mean, it's the same, obviously, not the same degree. But it's the kind of thing where it's like people have kind of, like, even the people who were defensive of O.J. Simpson in like 1994, by now they're like, you know, probably not. Probably not. They're starting to see some flaws.

That's a big place. I'm sure it's still out there. I'm sure there's still OJ. Truthers out there. I mean, he was arrested for a number of other things. So, like, you can bust him on anything at this point. I mean, it is amusing to me that he went to prison for stealing his own memorabilia. Stealing his own stuff. I'm excited for anyone born after the year, I don't know, 2000 to listen to this and be like,

who the fuck are all these people they're talking about? Who are Pete Rose and O.J. Simpson? Yeah. What's happening on this college football podcast? It's been, no, it's been, I'm teaching college students right now, and they're great, and the USC students are all very nice. They also, these are like students who do not pay that much attention to sports. And yet all of them had like a really hot tics on Alex Grinch.

And I was like, good, good, good. You got to have places to. Right. If you know anything, that's a matter of local importance. Yeah. And if you know anything, you know that like it's, I think it's a good sign when the people who are like, I'm quadruple majoring in philosophy, art, computer science and like something insane. are also like, fuck, this defensive coordinator.

I'm like, you get it. Sure. But it is interesting when I referenced things that I, that took place when I was in college, like from 2005 to 2009. And I'm being like, ah, this thing that happened. And they look at me and I'm like, yeah, you weren't rapidly approaching 20 years ago. Yes. Rapidly approaching.

Yeah, that difference, like that hit quick. Like, it just, it hit. really quick and I have not yet come back from it I have not yet come back from the fact that I'm like oh we didn't like I think I made some joke about like you know everyone had that like Crystal Castle's L city sound system period and it turns out um they didn't or the first time you hear Nelly on the classic rap station oh the every Spotify classic rap it is I like they like D12 on that and I was like no I'm sorry yeah I like I like old school rap like young thug yeah like it moves it moves way too fast it's uh it got it yeah that that's been aggressive like I'm I would think that my main theory I mean I have a lot of theories about why people over the between the ages of like 52 and 70 have lost their minds completely but I will say

that when being 52 no long means you're old but it definitely no month longer means you're young like if you watch a lot of golden girls and you look up how old they are and you're like holy shit everybody's talking about you like you're 90 but you also are you know you you say things and people are like ah obviously you were a dad um that would that would that would that would be weird that would be real weird it's weird now it feels like what we have now is once you're 30 you're just the same age until you die oh yeah via the internet you're aware of everything going on but everyone in their 20s has this

obsession that once you cross that line you basically go you disappear into the nether realm you join the army of the dead but from that point on i think there's one other dividing line and that's if you become a grandparent then you are now that age oh yeah okay you're a grandparent aged you're yes that that gets weird for those of us sometimes from a midwestern or southern environments in which people become grandparents when they're in their 40s and then you're like no i'm kick and cool and I have a grandchild and you're like yes but also no like I'm so sorry but you you having you know you had a kid when you were 20 and then your kid had a kid when they were 18 19 you are a grandparent now things are different it's just different

shack is 52 yeah but that's messed up who let shack get 52 no no no science what good were you for if not to keep Shaq forever at like, I don't know, a ripe 31. No, sports age, that's like every ESPN, Kairon, where they're talking about LeBron and Steph Curry, and there's something about like old men out. I'm like, shut the fuck up. It's amazing. He's still able to walk at the age of 35. Like, come on.

Like, I think that that, I've said this before, but I do, like, LeBron finally retiring is I'm going to need to take a day off work. That's going to be, I'm going to need a moment. Like, I know that, like, he has been playing at a high professional level since he was, like, 16, 17. Like, we can count high school and then going directly to the NBA. I'm aware that sports age is different. I follow gymnastics. I know that.

But LeBron retiring is going to be the thing where I'm like, I don't, I don't know what to do anymore. But he is, yeah. He is one and a half years older than I am, rough, like, just about. And I'm like, it's going to be rough. Like, it's nobody, like, that is the retirement I am not looking forward to. And apparently, neither is he. It might not happen. It just might not.

He might just continue indefinitely. Yeah. He might decide, I want to play with, I want to play in the same team as my grandkids as well. So we'll stick around for that. Yeah. Hopefully that happens. I think that'd be fun. Did we ever welcome the show?

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Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code F-U-L-C-A-S-T for $20 off. Download game time today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. You know, welcome to the shutdown forecast where we're talking about age where we're all very slowly dying hopefully slowly at least I mean Charlie Ward played for the Knicks in LeBron's first game

against them 2004 wow Charlie Ward got the start and played 30 minutes Jesus Christ Yeah Charlie The starting lineup For the New York Knicks On November 10th 2003

Alan Houston Kurt Thomas Keith Van Horn Charlie Ward And Dekembe Mutembo Holy shit Yeah Wow

Wow Wow I thought that how people Talk about the Iraq War made me feel old But now that That's that's it On a side note

It's been interesting having been alive in like 2002, 2003 to see all of these people, specifically conservatives, be like, I was always against the Iraq war. I'm like, no, you weren't. Stop lying. You fucking weren't. You fucking weren't. I was there.

Fuck you, freedom fries. I remember. Jane, there's also the... It's important to self-mythologize for your own. Apparently. There's also the thing about like everyone is nostalgic for exactly 20 years earlier or exactly the age they were when they were 15 to 25. So, like, as you've pointed out a lot, this results in culture warriors who are like, we have to go back to 2010.

To the era of Limp Biscuit when America was great. It's my favorite cultural phenomena because when you have, like, obviously, like, rad, the trads on the internet have been doing the whole like 50s thing. And like, you used to be able to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, you used to be able to, I don't know, lynch someone and get away with this. Whatever happened to those days. but like the people who are now like uh remember the simple like there's a conservative women's magazine called evie and they had this whole like multiple articles on all like oh do you remember the simple the better movies the kinder people of the early 2010s

no i sure don't like uh you remember you know Obama's first term when people got along when men were men and women were women when everyone was when everyone said normal things about the president yeah there were just normal people all the time but uh no it's the people like it's also interesting because I don't like I like the music I listened to in high school

but that's because the music I listened to in high school was awesome that has held up but like I am not at all nostalgic for two like if I said I was nostalgic for 2003 I would be like no no that's that's serial killer behavior like I don't like nostalgia in general but especially in nostalgia for like 1990s like they're the weird like the not boomers but like the gen Xers who were like the 90s were awesome and I'm like I'm sorry did Columbine really

do it for you was that just like super fun for you we having a great time it's like it's like re-appreciating old cultural products in a new light and sure wishing like certain fast food chains would bring back certain menu items and all that stuff but then there's like romanticizing the politics of the time and like I saw the fucking Olympics get bombed in my hometown by a guy who was mad about abortion you're telling me everything was chill back then you know what I mean like I mean then again the people who romanticized that year I probably do like that like I remember all of this stuff like I was but you could leave your doors unlocked Jane it was a different kids could play outside the street yeah tonight A murder documentary about people who left their doors unlocked in the 90s. I think that's my favorite part. It's like, people who were like, oh, when I was, like, even Nikki Haley did this. Like, do you remember when you were a kid and things were easy or something like that? I'm like, yeah, bitch, because I was eight.

And that's taxes. Yeah. It's pretty fucking sweet to be eight. I got to tell you. I will say, though, when I was eight, I hated being eight. Like, I, like, my greatest dream, I was like, I want to be 12 because then you're basically an adult. Oh, great. Your perception of what being, when you're like a little kid, like, 12 is like, ah, I could drive.

And 20 is like, I'll be dead by then. So it doesn't really matter. But like, yeah. Yeah. Like weird. Like nostalgia for things where I'm like, no, no, no. Like, I, YouTube has been recommending a lot of like 90s hip hop to me, which is great. But all of the comments are like, oh, I would love to go back.

And it'll be like, Tupac's hit him up or something. like, uh, simpler times. Right. Yeah. When, when it was all about

just the music and the drama. But like that, like go back to the music. It's like, it's still fucking there. So just play it. You're playing it right now.

You're playing. Spotify will serve it to you as many times as you want. So what age did you most like being at the time? Do you remember when you had to do this off a tape? This sucked. Yeah, really, yeah,

taping stuff. The age that I, I actually really like being the age that I am now. Um, I am 30. 36, 36 seems good. And I've actually, there's some study that was like, yeah, generally people are like at 36, 37, they're like,

things are pretty okay. I would say like, well, it's interesting because like I was pretty cool with being like my early 30s except for the whole, you know, pandemic thing that, that was uncool, didn't enjoy that. That was bad. Not cool. But generally, since I got. like around like 30 31 30 like all like my 30s have been good like I'm I'm cool with 30s um

and I have not yet especially because I think that because I don't have the nostalgia thing like there isn't I mean I think that that's I don't know if we talked about this Jason but I think one of the best ways to prevent having excessive nostalgia is to have like a really shitty time in high school and then like yeah yeah that really helps it really like I do not long to return to 2002-2003. I would not be a teenager if you paid me like billions of dollars. Like actual, like made-up amounts of money.

Like, whenever people are like, oh, we could cure homelessness, which doesn't, no, no, like, we need to that level of money. But like, this age is working. It's good. I have, like, one gray hair. It's fine. I'm into it. I think 30s are really good.

I think once you pass 30, it's just sort of like, oh, all the worrying about how old I am, it's just kind of, whatever. The only age that I look back on, it was like, wow, anyone who is that age should really appreciate it is that, like, a few months between high school and college when it's like you have enough money to get in trouble, no one really expect anything of you. But you're still a kid. You can still play the, oh, I'm just a little guy thing. And you're legally allowed to do almost everything. like that those like two or three months everyone should get to do that for like 10 years um and like you know everyone in that moment everyone should appreciate it because after that it's all bills but yeah 30s 30 and onward is all just one big ocean of fine what's fucked up about the time

you're describing though is that what makes it fun is that you don't appreciate it oh yeah yeah that's sort of like what makes it magical is that you're you are not thinking about it in any broader perspective you're just like this rules yeah this will be my life forever no no well i didn't like i remember finding that like the most annoyed i've ever been for a sustained period of time is the summer between my freshman year of college and my sophomore year of college because when you come back from college you immediately start acting like you were like well i'm a fully fledged adult now and i don't need any of you hey guess what parents i have some opinions i want to talk about

Hey, hey, mom, let's talk philosophy. I took PolyScii 1.40, so let's talk about some iron triangles, bitch. Like, I, and I just remember, like, as, you know, Michigan, it ends in April, and you come back in September, and I literally just sat around for, like, those four months just being like, I want to, like, I would leave the house. My parents would be like, oh, where are you going? And I'm like, who are you? You don't get asked me that anymore. I'm Josh.

I'm the captain. now. But the summer, like the summer you're describing, I think the thing about that is that like I remember people being like very maudlin. Like, you'd be at a party and someone would play that fucking vitamin C graduation

song. And everybody like, oh, life. Green day was ours at the time. But yeah. Like, you know, our lives are ending as we know it. This will all be over. And now you're like, what? Like, who, like, being mottling when you're 17, like, unless you can

become Morrissey it's not going to work for you but also like I know many people who are still pretty good friends with all of those same people that they went to high school with and like it's fine it's just we did not need to spend as much time sitting on somebody else's roof staring into the sunset talking about how it's everything but it's about feelings it's about having huge big feelings yeah they're big fucking feelings I wonder if it's different now because it's like I'm going to be friends with these people on the internet. You're in my phone. I mostly interrupted you in my phone.

And that's not listening to me. Nothing will change at all. Right. Like back then, there was the sense, you know, even into the early social media era where it's like, I am literally never going to see some of these people again. You don't think that at the time. Yeah. You know, you think just it'll be more difficult to. Like, no, no, kid, you literally will never see some of these people again.

Yep. So there's that. Yeah. I think what trips me up about nostalgia, and this is a nonpartial. a, and this is a non-partisan thing, but both political parties like to do the, like, are you better off now than you were four years ago, right? And I'm like, I don't fucking remember. Like, I'm not trying to think about four years ago. I don't know how. All I know is that shit is done. I am not sitting here comparing, like running the stats and seeing like, how am I? No, we're just moving

forward, baby. I do not, I cannot answer that question and I am not interested in thinking about it that No, especially, like, asking people. If you ask me, like, how is the country? Sure, we can talk about that. How am I doing? Am I better than I was four years ago? I'm just trying to get to tomorrow. I need you to leave me alone.

No, that's also the thing. It's like, also making people think about themselves in that context is so fucked up. Especially, like, I remember seeing that during, like, the 2008 election, because I was in college for that. And people like, oh, were you better off than you were in 2004? And I'm like, well, in 2004, I was in high school and it fucking sucked. And now I'm in college. And I will say, it's going there. So.

Thank you, George W. Bush. So much of this is like, you know, who do you want to credit with the passage of time in a way that worked out for you? I had four years ago, I had terrible diarrhea. Today I don't. So I get so much better off. Take the question extremely literally on April 2nd, 2020. I was actually I probably got fired four years ago today so so technically I think I'm doing better

thank Joe Biden like but yeah I I know it's it's weird the passage of time is weird I think that that's basically I mean especially also I mean relating back to college football when you start doing the because I'm already deep in the this guy was a problem YouTube. It happened real quick. It's just funny when it's a player. Give me a recent

example that you've experienced through this. Well, I think basically if you played at West Virginia between 2006 and 2013, there's a whole section of the internet that's about how you were a problem. Steve Slayton was a problem. I know Pat White was a problem. I was there. Like, but It's also, like, you start getting people who, now I understand that there are a lot of people who have, like, who memory hold, like, specific how people did in the NFL or memory hold things? They're like, did you know, like, Col McCoy was really good? And like, yeah. Yeah, I, I knew that Sam Bradford was good. Yeah, I heard. I heard that. It, it did take place. Like, it's, like, I, I mean, I know recently bias and all that stuff. But it is just like, like, I need this guy was a problem people to be people who plays in like 1994. Like I need them to be people. Like Barry Sanders was a problem.

Yeah. Like I need like X was a problem to be someone who I am older then. You can't be a problem if you're younger than me. I'm so sorry. So once you once remember some guys are guys who were like, wait a second. I was in college at the same time as those guys. you can't remember them yet. No.

Remember some boys. You cannot remember those children. Stop remembering my peers. We got like occasionally they'll be an YouTube or whatever. People are like, well, they like, oh, like, DeNar Robinson. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't remember a youth. You cannot remember a beloved child who I am older than.

We are not, that's no, no, we're not remembering these. boys. I don't want to remember the boys. I want to remember these guys. This podcast probably has listeners that are younger than this podcast. How about that? No, that can't be right. Yeah. We've only been doing

this for like, you think there's an eight-year-old listening to this? We've been doing this for almost 11 years. Yeah, but I don't, I listen. If you're eight years old and listening to this, it gets better. I'm just saying, I know being eight is rough. If you're eight-year-olds and listening to this, talk to a teacher. Get, get,

Get out. You don't have to be part of this. I'm saying there's somebody who listens along with their parents. Yes. Because we've heard about this. There's kids who listen along with their parents and they're like, ha, ha, ha. You know, they get some of the jokes and they're like, I like, I like when Spencer says whatever. Like we hear that kids engage with it and I count that. But I hope there's not some seven-year-old who's just like,

oh, I'm going to fire up the full cast, see what they're going to. Kids don't know what podcasts are. Like unless someone is cutting us up and putting us on Snapchat or TikTok, they have no idea. Yeah. No, we got to get that bluey crossover. I do have blue-y thoughts. Why do you have blue-y thoughts?

Oh, I know why you have blue-y thoughts. It's because of your connection to the geographical area. Well, also, once you get an Australian cattle dog, you've got a lot of thoughts on what blue healers get up to. Now, let me just say, they were surprisingly inactive family for all being blue healers. Like, an actual family of blue healers would just be, like, searching around looking for jobs,

constantly sprinting around and surfing. looking for jobs. Sounds like working in digital media, frankly. Hey-oh. Also, another funny thing is I just said Snapchat still for young people, and someone out there is going to be like, ha-ha, Jason's so old, he doesn't know that. I have a high school teenager right now.

I know a little bit more about this than you do. The kids still use Snapchat. Yeah, but also you have a high school teenager right now. Sorry, I just had to drop that because I know. Yeah, but occasionally you were about to do like, you're the father of a teen. Like, I don't think you get that information through osmosis. No.

What's the most average age to be? 48. 48 is the most average age. 48 seems average. Yeah. But I also think like, I was thinking about it. Like, I think that after about 35, you don't really need to do a birthday every year. Like, I'll be turning 37 this year.

I don't, I'm, it's 30, who cares about 37? Too bad. Oh, fuck that. Oh, it's time for Jane's birthday celebration. Happy birthday. I'm just like, no, fuck that. No, fuck that. There are fewer and fewer reasons to celebrate the older that you get,

and you should take all the chances that you get. I mean, obviously, I love a holiday that is devoted to me. There should always be a, no. What if we call it a St. Jane feast? What if we make it all Catholic? Don't celebrate their birthdays are the worst fucking people. I regret that the actual St. Jane, super boring, because I had to choose, like, a namesake saint,

and St. Jane is like she founded a convent. So that's why I went with Joan of Arc, who you can make a lot of arguments, but incredibly metal. Also like a pretty good military strategist got screwed over by the French government, homest among us. But yeah, that was a good time. Got killed for being too good at fashion. Yeah. Ultimately. I also appreciate that she was another case in which God was like real specific.

Like she was like, oh, we like God would like us to do. Like in Salt Lake City, all of our roads are really wide because Brigham Young had a dream. And apparently God was like, this is how wide the roads need to be. And when Joan of Arc heard from God, God apparently had really specific ideas about how military strategy, which I'm like, why wouldn't be God be into both urban planning and military strategy? God has a lot of logistics thoughts. Like exactly how big a boat should be. Like exactly how big tent. The tailgate tent.

Yeah. he's got a lot of thoughts i appreciate that about the lord that's how you know he's a dad it's true the ultimate war dad or a mom with a very extensive list of uh detailed errands like again i'm using dad in a non-gendered sense of a female dad perhaps but i'm just thinking of like when my wife sends me on an errand and and it's like unless i get a list that's like stand in this spot to point at this person say these words it's going to get fucked up no matter how hard i try it's not about that it's not about that it's just about like in that situation she's playing the role of god and she has to hand me a very detailed list of instructions yeah but then when you get to the

place do all the people like reject your instructions and then invent some involved reason why they produced a golden calf instead so what happens is usually it ends up being like three dudes who are like hey our wives sent us and then some other the dude who works there is like okay i'm the guy whose job it is to fix the idiot husbands and then we all go out back and we melt down a gold cow and that is a political metaphor yeah yep yep weaponized incompetence uh you love to see it a political metaphor that applies uh all the time it does did you all want to talk about the history idiots bracket yes um i'm very proud of that bracket uh that was a some some good tree dumb bitches to be coming up with um it really like the i i like the matchups that we're

seeing right now um i am also just impressed by the fact that we were able to limit the number of dumb bitches because i have thought like people have come to me out of the clear blue sky where i've been like wow that's a dumb bitch we didn't include um so who's who's a who's an on the bubble bitch then calhoun john calhoun like that is a that's a that that's a strong bubble bitch um i also think like i'm aware that it kind of goes against the entire theory of it but like we i wait if we ever do it again i would like to have a like non-gendered dumb bitches because there are a couple of dumb bitches where i'm like joe and lie dumb bitch uh part of the gang of four who just her whole thing was she wanted lots of people

to die and she wanted to see mouse ballets and those were her two things she had two dreams It's relatable. I think that's relatable. Whomstam us. But yeah, no, I've been very much enjoying the dumb bitch bracket. Lots of people who want really specific thoughts on Eric Ludendorf, and all of mine are just like, fuck that guy. I recommended one to Spencer that did not make the cut, but I think, and I'm seeing who was on the list, I'm fine with that. But I recommended Dr. Dr. Willard Bliss.

Oh, yeah. I say doctor, doctor. Because his name was doctor. Yeah. His name was doctor. This was who treated President Garfield. Murdered. Murdered President Garfield.

Well, yeah, who murdered President Garfield after he was shot. And two and a half months later basically died of sepsis. Yeah. It's funny because Garfield was shot by a man who was insane and wanted a job. Like, it's interesting because there used to be assassins who didn't have like big political reasoning. They're just used to be like just crazy people. like squeaky Frome trying to kill Gerald Ford for like who knows why also two people tried to kill Gerald Ford

and neither of them were very good at it like Gerald Ford apparently just made people very upset but the unkillable Gerald Ford it doesn't seem worth the effort that's a Michigan man right there not worth the effort I got a good feeling about Mussolini in this tournament yeah no I think we I'm excited to see where everybody goes, I do appreciate that we have a good combination of like

well-known dumb bitches who murdered millions of people and also just like shitty people who did shitty things. But I do think Dr. Dr. Willard Bliss like the degree to which he took his dirty like James Garfield shot by an insane guy who wanted a job

and then Willard Bliss is like, you know what this situation needs? My dirty ass hands in this man's bullet wound. A bullet wound. Jane, let me ask. probably would have been fine. Was Dr.

Dr. Willard Bliss the president's regular physician at the time? If I recall correctly, he was not. He was not. He just showed up, decided this is how I'm not.

It wasn't just like, this is how I will get famous. It was specifically, this is how I will restore my good name in the medical community. Yep. The only good thing that came out of all of this is that that is why the White House

has air. conditioning because they decided that the miasmas of grossness that existed were bad for James Garfield and arguably bad for everybody and that air conditioning would help and honestly I hope as James Garfield died horribly because he was basically poisoned by a man named Dr. Willard Bliss. I hope he was like at least I'm cool. I hope that helped.