Shutdown Fullcast - The Holes Episode feat. Cody Campbell and Jelly Roll

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

Spencer behind enemy onlinesPresident bad at poolJelly Roll divorce discourseThe Sorsby thing again, sureThe Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 29 (twenty-nine!!) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)Now through June 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch sold through the Shutdown Fullstore will be donated to the Transgender Resource Center of New MexicoShutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Patrick HowellDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s other show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz

I don't know how you could hold a bar mitzvah without kis singles, honestly. Like the greatest thing you could win at a bar mitzvah party game was a Kisingle of the era. No, no question. Specifically, the Quad City DJs come on. 100%. A hundred percent. Damn, I got Casey and Jojo. Lucky.

That's right. It's about prayer. It's appropriate for the moment. Got the whole space jam sounds. That's right. If you could assemble the whole space soundtrack just using cassingles. Are you? Is it a single?

Incredible. Thanos ain't got shit on you. It's that hit them high that's really going to be the, you got to search far wide for that. And then you can like... Do you mean high and low? Discard the R. Kelly a little bit. You can. You can make your own version of the...

You see you're saying yourself. Yeah. That's right. Could call Holly. Yeah. Do you enjoy how approximately 15% of the inspirational cuts? on YouTube all became deeply problematic the minute the R. Kelly story broke. I believe I can...

It's such a bummer too because like seals fly like an eagle is right there. Yeah. Basically the same vibe. Miley Cyrus the Climb is right there. Yeah. You can, yeah. You can replace Ray Fines as Voldemort in the Harry Potter movie with Smiley. Just swap standing outside the fire in for all of them.

That's it. That's it. Ryan? That's the one. She should go back and watch the standing outside the fire video. Pause to show for four minutes and 44 seconds. Imagine a compilation of don't sit to standing outside. That'd be great.

You would love that. Don't lie. Because the standing outside the fire video, do you remember what it was, Ryan? I haven't watched it in a while. Oh, I'm going to bring it up to speed. I'm going to preface all of this was saying that this employs a rhetorical lane that was first noted by Oscar Wilde. as far as I can know, or he said that if you could read the death of Little Nell in Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens without breaking into laughter, then you had a heart of stone, right?

Like that it was something so over the top that you had to laugh. So the video for- I'm asking specific here. Is this the one with the big truck? This is the one. No, do you thinking of the Enter Sandman video? No, hang on. I'm not making this up. This is the one where there is a kid and there's a kid who is competing in the

Special Olympics. And in the video, his father, his father is unsupportive of him because I guess he just doesn't accept him as a child, which first of all, quite the setup there to start with, you know, this guy's relatable. He's got a kid with down. I'm looking at it right now. They got a big like classic, or is that a waggonier? I have forgotten the vehicle. I remembered the vehicle, but for, or maybe it's like an old Bronco. I remember the vehicle but forgot the rest of the video. It's one of the most Tennessee things that you have ever done is to be like, hey, that's a video up to kick-ass truck. No, you're autistic. So anyway, that being a relatable start for the video, right?

The father who's like, and by the way, this kid's been around for a minute. This kid's like, I want to say 14. This kid is varsity blues age. Yeah, I'm looking at the Wikipedia page and he is a high school student. Yeah, he's a high school student. The dad's still like, oh, I'm mad that I had a son. You know, like just the dumbest shit you've ever seen. in your life. And he falls down. And the thing is, is that this is a Garth Brooks video,

so he's going to get up and it's going to be emotional, right? It kind of undermines itself by the fact that this kid fucking eats shit. Oh my God. He hits the ground like he's been dropped from a plane. Like, I don't know if the kid did his own stunts or if it was a stunt performer, but some sort of award should have been given for the work here because it looks like he is thrown into the earth, right? And when that happened, I, I crack up. His real dad's Galactus and he's pissed. And I remember watching the video, I'm being like,

oh, this is inspiring. But holy shit, that was funny as shit when the kid absolutely ate shit. Like, he just hits the ground so hard, it almost undermines the whole video. This is my way of saying that, that there need to be more inspirational videos. No, he's not Felder. No, I'm not Felder. I'm not crying over this.

I might have been crying because I was watching Oasis live clips before. That still makes me leap. Does this kid get thrown to the ground as hard as the Egypt player who scored a goal yesterday and was immediately flattened by one of his teammates in celebration? Yeah, this is some Matt Elam on his teammate. Wait, I was going to ask if they had an Egyptian Matt Elam. There's a third. Yeah, this is, he went down as hard as the player, the Belgium,

player tossed yesterday in the box. Like, apparently you could just occasionally throw people in soccer. But yeah, he hits the ground like he, like his shoot didn't open. I believe that's why it's called a pitch. Yeah. But more inspirational videos, please.

We need, like, tons of those. And most of them should be directed by Garth Brooks because he's a cinematic genius. Even when you think about it, an oasis is the opposite of standing outside the fire. Oh, who, who, who, who, wow. In it. Whoa.

In it. Ryan, occasionally you remind me of why you're a genius. Oh, boy. One of the times that you do that. Because you know that this is a political podcast. Yeah, first and foremost, we're your home for politics, news and opinion. You'll never catch us on a secret discussion groups list with fascists. You won't, I guarantee you.

No property, brother, shall grace this podcast. Our membership to the Tex-Ags Politics Board is 100% open. our name is right there and you can see it. Also, we're there for the combat, right? We are when they're like, hey. And the snacks. Yeah, I'm going to win over the Texags Politics Board. We're in Texax?

Oh, no. Yeah, I'm going to win over the Texags Politics Board to socialism eventually. It's going to happen. Sure. Right. Based on this, by the way, those people, if you feel that strongly about politics, the thing that you're actually addicted to is drama. an emotion. That's what you are, right? That's part of your identity. The actual specifics of that

policy don't matter at all. All you want is an enemy. That's all you want. That's how you exist, right? So we're just going to get you on the other side here. Okay. There's a fine line between the libertarian who's infuriated that somebody told him that he has to pay to have his garbage collected and Joseph Stalin robbing banks to fund the revolution. Look at the disgusting capitalism of UT. Rejected brothers. reject it that's right it's gross it's bourgeois it's soft-handed what's Stalin they don't make anything yeah oh wow think about it so point being you had a brilliant political point that you made in our pre-show meeting which we definitely had which he did make in a group chat that is private i guess we should point out damn yeah and that peter teal's in

god damn dude no um it doesn't smell that crazy he doesn't know he doesn't know enough ball. Yeah. Yeah. The, yeah, also that's our only objection to Peter Thiel. Yeah, but him before as recline to be clear. Imagine him saying, please don't drink our blood. Just the word. Sounds like I'm not in this chat.

Boo. It's ball. Well, Jason, I'll catch you up to speed. Yeah. You may be familiar. You and the listener may be familiar with the fact that the president of the United States made a big deal about, hey, reflecting

pool, not blue enough. Gotta make this fucker much more blue. Blue like water? No. Blue like blue M&M blue. That's the kind of blue. Water by Davidoff. That's right.

Forget how you say that. Got like, why pool not blue? Pool must be much more blue. Hired painters at definitely market rates to paint the surface of the reflecting pool. Again, the thing that lies in between,

it's the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial for memory serves. Mm-hmm. It's not a very good pool anyway, very shallow. Not an awesome pool as pools go. Yeah, they should call it something else if you're not supposed to chicken fight in it. Roughly a month later, I'm going to just guess. I'm not going to do any research here because, again, this is a politics podcast.

We don't have to do that. The reflecting pool, algae covered. Total nightmare. Poor pool maintenance. And I... It looks like Joker acid. It's aggressive. It's aggressively green.

It's aggressively green. And this is where my native Floridian's spidey sense goes off. Because Floridians are bad at lots of things. So many things. So like we don't even need to list the things that Floridians are bad. Why? Because the local news will tell you almost always what those things are. Relatedly, I'm really mad about the influx of fake AI lady stopped in mall for writing

camel like that was never real. We have real bonkers news a plenty. You don't need AI to generate more of it for you. Anyway, I submit that the one thing that Floridians are good at, because there's a lot of them and because they paid too much money for them and because it's just too fucking hot to live there most of the time is pool maintenance. Pool maintenance matters in Florida. The idea that you should not have a pool full of leaves, covered in algae. Like this is the closest thing y'all have to family values. A hundred percent. And you think like, you might be saying, are these community pools? No, no, no. It's Florida that we're talking about. These are these are pools by and large owned by single families. We're not, we're not sharing.

Florida has not gotten to that stage of things. But to see our nation's most famous pool, I don't think we have like I don't think we have a more famous pool in the United States to see it fall into this level of dish repair and frankly like disgustingness you think he's a shitty nor Yorker and now he's a shitty Floridian a hundred percent mm-hmm huh yeah to the point where now there's there's footage of like I assume like Park Patrol people just dumping hydrant acid I don't know what it is it was hydrogen peroxide hydrogen peroxide which they were just pouring a gallon jug into in the corner. Like, sure.

Yes. Sure. Sure, Darren. Whatever looks like a Darren. It'll, that'll help. It just shows me.

Remind me to never let you treat a cut on me. Oh, sorry. Yeah. No. When you pour hydrochloric acid on my cut. Server, we have some news about our plans

for the rest of the episode. Okay. It's a gentleman at your door. Can you just buy it or not? Do you know what? Do you know what won't hurt anymore? The cut. After I'm done with you.

Yeah. Won't be anything below it. That's for sure. Nothing will hurt anymore. This level of pool laziness. I'll just call what it is. It's just lazy-ass pool maintenance. We call it like we see it here on this politics podcast.

It should, it won't, but it should lose the Republican Party of the state of Florida for a long time. Is this your pool king? You cannot make pool this central to your domestic plan. Like, how could I trust it? with a ballroom if he can't take care of pool you can't trust him with a ball pit how moldy and gross and in disrepair would the ballroom get if we can't take care of pool we know how to take care of pool again only thing all thousands just thousands of Floridian successfully do it year after year after year the groatiest administration like yeah high school kids clean pools for a living how

do you not have Eric out there with the fucking scrub brush get the algae off the, does the pool matter or not? He can't be in the sun. That might be a good solution to a few things. I don't mean for sunburn. I mean for, for vampirism. Not even real. Well, technically, okay, we've all seen annihilation, right? Yes. Sorry, folks, they're giving me the wrap-up sign. We should finish this conversation. I just, yeah, like, I can't remember the last time I, we had a president. And look, if you asked me before all this happened, do you think the president knows anything about, pool maintenance. I would have said no. He's never thought he could maybe name colors. He's he's never had to unclog a creepy crawly. Not once. He's never had to deal with

a pool filter. Never had to fish a frog out of the filter. Frog out while it was alive. Frog, rat, die in front of the kids. None of it. He's never even checked a pool thermometer. Do you think he's ever gotten that weird little chemistry kit they give you? you at the pool supply store. Do you think he floats in water? Yes, but mostly for disturbing reasons. Having zero muscle mass means you're actually really buoyant. Yeah, it's like a Dr. Eggman kind of.

Yeah, he floats for the same reason that a Fatberg floats, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, it should be a death knell for the Republicans in Florida. And every day that Ron DeSantis and members of, and Marco Rubio and other members of the Republican Party in Florida don't speak out against what he's done to our nation's pool it's a stain yeah we're the lobbyist man you think at least the pool lobby would be all over this you you think they'd step up and solve the problem but instead we went from pool that you probably didn't think that much to dirtiest pool you've ever seen in our nation's capital they've

been bought off by big algae so they spent 14 million dollars to to fix the pool And then after that was when the algae appeared. Correct. I'm catching up on all of this now. They awarded no-pid contracts to various companies, which I'm just going to assume SpaceX was the one that was cleaning out cleaning the pool in the first place. No, there's no blue at all. No. In fact, it's green.

No. Blue origin, green destination. They're done terraformed it. They turned it green. Great job. They finally found something they can turn green. Which country has a green flag? kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Put the pieces together, people. Put it together. Oh, shit. Mendoza. To the shutdown full cast. You were listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall.

I got questions for everybody. Hey, Jason, how are you doing today? Hey, I'm fine. How are you? Who's Jason? Just Jason Kirk. He's us in the show with us. You know, you enjoying your summer

thus far, Jason? Yeah, why are you asking? I'm a friend. This does feel like a trap. I'm a friend. I mean, it's going fine, but is there some sort of improv I'm supposed to be doing in response to this? No, man. I'm doing great.

How are you? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Okay. Ryan, Ryan, because I'm a friend. Yeah. It's the thing I'm definitely good at. Who's Ryan?

That's Ryan. He's over there. He's one of the hosts of this show. For everybody. Yeah. And I wanted to see, like, how's your summer going? Kids good? Like you say keeping busy. Keeping busy.

Haven't heard the jelly roll song for the World Cup. I'm a good time. I gotta say I'm on telemundo. I haven't heard it either at all because I watched. Somebody told me they played it during a Stanley Cup final game. Like, they're squirreling it in everywhere at this point. But I'm, I'm holding on, man. It has not befouled my ears so far.

Holly. Your summer going around. That's Holly Anderson. She hosts the show too. I almost got there. I've got one of my toes hurts, but only one. Hmm. I mean, that's good.

That's interesting. If it's only one, then you got nine others. Good job. Yeah. Hey, Michael Serber. Step it on my left foot, three on my right. Michael Cerber. I was wondering what was going on in the world.

How are you doing? I'm doing great. Everything's good with me personally. With you? Yeah, with me. You know that there's some people out there who are hurting, right? I've heard that there are some people. people that are going through

one of the worst things a person can go through. Mm-hmm. A little, I elaborate. I'd love to tell the people all about it. She said she wouldn't be part of my NASCAR lifestyle no more.

Oh, that is the jelly roll divorce claxons. I like monster energy. Brought to us by Napa Auto Parts. As always, thank you to our sponsors. Can I ask. Is she like, surge. Can I ask a clarifying question?

When you're married? What you're trying to clarify? Well, that's fair. When you're married to Jelly Roll for a decade, do you call him Jelly Roll at home? I want to be clear. I don't know Jelly Rolls. The 10 best years of my life.

I don't know Jelly Roll's Christian name. And much like his song, I don't want to know it. The less I know about Jelly Roll, I think, the happier I am. So I'm trying to draw boundaries for myself. You have to know, and that's cool. I'm not going to tell you. Um, but if you're married to Jelly Roll. I don't think it's Ryan.

Oh, my God. No, it's not Ryan. Now I really don't want, but do you call him jelly? Do you call him J.R? Do you call him Mr. Roll? I mean, you- Papa? I think you can call him a plaintiff right now. What about Paul? Like in Little House on the Prairie?

Pa. Yeah, but you know it's pronounced like P-A-W. Sure. Mr. Roll? She calls him. be jelly stained last time. I'd call him jelly rolling because it sounds like he's out of there.

Sounds like he gone. Yeah, who initiated this divorce? Jelly roll. I believe he did. He filed. That's what I had to see. Kind of surprised to learn he believes in court for some reason.

Do you think... Court saved me. I had... You have one hurt toe. I had seven. In a courtroom. That's a whole foot. With no water.

So her name is Bunny Exo? Correct. What? Yes. Don't you ever say that in front of me again. It's B. and an I.e. She appears, yeah, Bunai-E-X-O appears to be a podcaster.

So maybe she's joining us instead. Maybe she's leaving her for us. Floyd, move over on the bench, on the guest bench over there so we can let Bunai-E. I, listen. I really look forward. to welcoming her to the full cast cast. You know, it's either her or jelly roll, whoever gets here first. We already have jelly roll.

We literally have jelly roll. We're going to have them on to negotiate their amicable parting. So I don't think I miss it. Jellyroll never announced his political thought. No, it's still, it's still formulating. That's coming, soon. Do you think he raised it? to Bunny X-O, and she was like,

these politics, I can't do that. I can't. I can't be part of what you're... Whatever it is. Whatever, whatever political mind-breaking you don't. This manifesto jelly roll that you have written is to erudite and extreme both. First of all, Zoroastrian is a religion, and that's not what you're describing.

You just think it sounds cool. I would also, I would point out that in form, like, forming this religion, right? We would have to know whether Jellyroll saw him as prophet or administrator. It's two roles. You can, you know, you can be the prophet. The jelly rollers. Yeah. Do you, do you believe that this religion is channeled through you? Or do you believe that you were the, you dictate it, right? In other words, are you going to be, do you want to be the Ayatollah, or do you want to be the prime minister of this jelly rollic republic?

Do you think the clues are in the World Cup song? I won't find out. Now we'll never know. I'll never know. Listening to the Jelly Roll World Cup song came up as a puzzle in the Indiana Jones game the other night, and I have stopped playing. I'm going to be honest. I don't think I've heard it.

Congrats. If I have, I haven't noticed it. I don't think I've heard it at all. And I've watched almost every match completely? I think part of it is, The World Cup is very easy to stop paying attention to at times. So when you get the sense that it's looming, it is not hard to pull away. Yeah, it's like a series of master's naps if you get the right games.

Yeah, it also doesn't have like match starts and with the exception of hydration break. We're not stopping and waiting and being like, all right, now we're going to sneak the jelly roll song on you. So as long as you're sort of like laser focused on like, I'm watching this while. it's on and I'm not paying attention to it when they cut to literally anything else. You can probably bob and weave pretty well around the jelly roll song. So far. I'm not even sure jelly roll is real at this point. Like,

Oh, he's real brother. Real heartbroken! Every time you say that, a little piece of me does. That's why I'm losing all this weight. Which part of your body? Wait, are you saying he's like Tinkerbell? Maybe. Yeah.

You gotta say you believe in jelly roll. More like stinker, Bill. Holly, you and Floyd and I were talking about this. We are all pretty convinced that we have never heard jelly roll. No, I'm positive that I don't know what his actual voice sounds like. And there are lots of people who listen to the full cast, who for them, Cerber is the canonical jelly roll. And I'm like, this person is this famous, but I couldn't like...

I couldn't tell you the name of a song. Not one. No. Not a feature. If anyone were to ask me the ways in which there is a real jelly roll that is distinct from Serber's jelly roll, I would not be able to give you anything other than one is working on a political opinion. And he's got jail face. Right.

And now he's getting divorced. But all of these are things that you could just say. Like, listen. That's like as much as I know about some of my cousins. At least I know that Morgan Wallin threw a chair off off a hundred. donkey tonky tonk. I'm pretty sure that Morgan Wallen, I'm definitely clear on his political opinions. Right. Well, yeah, I don't know any of his songs either. So if one of you were to begin doing a Morgan Wallen impression, please don't because that'll be the end of the podcast. But also, we won't know what you're doing. Right.

But if you say like, all right, it's time for my new bit, right? Because like when server started doing jelly roll, it was very explanatory that I'm jelly roll, right? It was easy to, ah, he said jelly roll. Right. Yeah. And also, it feels right, which is a weird thing to say about a person for which I have no frame of reference. Like, why does, this is a really troubling existential question. Why does Cerber's jelly roll feel accurate? Because fucking look at him. I know what this dude looks like.

Yeah. And it's hard for me to imagine that he doesn't sound like what Cerber does here. But also the familiarity here has bred a comfort level. with us. I hope jelly roll towards that to this whole time, thick Italian accent. But there also are... Goralong! Boniorno! Like you get him in the Olive Garden and he's like, hey, thank you. I need the menu. Okay, cool.

We're going to look. And he puts it down. He's like, if my mother had a bicycle, she would be an Alfredo. What is this? It's not exactly the ship of Phaecis, but how many people would have to buy in and intrinsically accept. Are we going to create our own Mandela effect? How many people would have to intrinsically accept within their souls that server's jelly roll is jelly roll before the supposed real jelly roll ceases to be that and just goes back to be whatever his first name is, which again, I don't want to know. So this is like we're trying to American gods him.

Yes. Or maybe in a more accessible way, it's like, can we aunt Viv jelly roll in, such a way that people say so like server's jelly roll was jelly roll all along they'll come a point when people see server and they're like oh my god it's jelly roll and they're like who's that dirty man awesome what what if that happens and then they're like yes I love killer ants that's jelly rolls that's jelly roll's bare and killer ants like I think oh yeah with the album that comes out on June 23rd. Before Jelly Roll's political opinion.

Like I think, listen, I don't want to speak for you, but if you had to accept the mantle of Jelly Roll, like it was Batman or the Dread Pirate Roberts. Green Lanner. You just have to wear the veneers, right? Jelly rolls, dirty mule nears has chosen you. Are they first? Can you get rings put in your teeth? That's what he said to me.

Like if you became, for he who be found dirty. Jelly roll, that's not what washed in the blood means. It is now. I bumped into McFoley. He said, I'm Santa Claus. But I think you would take that trade. That man does look like Mick Foley's like an illegitimate son or something. Like Mick Foley looks like he is, you pulled him out from under a train wreck, but he still looks better than jelly roll.

He does. I just think it's a worthy goal to sort of say, like, can we convince the world that serve was jelly roll the whole time. We can convince a slice of the world, because the world, that's a thing with a lot of meanings. And like, the vast majority of it has never heard of jelly roll. He's actually not that famous. He's really not.

Look up the numbers. But for like, there is a percentage of the world, and it is in the four or five digits that view server as the canonical jelly roll. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So jelly roll's new band, totally different than what he usually does.

Killer Lance, you should go buy that. Yeah. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go to Dumbworld and tell them this. I'll go on. Oh, at the very least. I think we could get on Reddit and see a like, hey, have you heard about Jelly Roll's secret project, Killer Ants, that he's not talking about?

I mean, on the Fulcast Reddit, they talk about Cerber's Jelly Roll quite a bit. So this is just the next step of that. All of those posters into other, into like music subreddit. Guys, you're our street team now. Brigaded. Yeah, we can. So let's start a separate, let's start a separate jelly roll subreddit. Jelly Roll underscore real.

True jelly roll. True jelly roll. To be clear, I ain't starting shit. I'm asking someone else out there to start this false jelly roll. You know, I start commenting on all jelly roll posts on social, asking when he's finally going to admit he's in-quit-ducking. Quit ducking me. Yeah. I like that we're accidentally endeavoring to create like a Sunni-Sia split in jelly roll.

Inshallah, yeah. That's what we're trying to do here. And then once the so-called real jelly roll releases his political opinion, then we just drop something cooler. We as like Serber's council of advisors, I guess, his management team. You're my entourage like that show. Ryan, you're turtle. I knew it.

I knew that was going to happen. Don't pigeonhole him. He's capable of so many other roles. Oh, I'd be Mark Wahlberg. Fyd, you're Sloan. You're too damn pretty. He is pretty. Boy, we got to convert him to a bathist first, if you know what I mean.

On account of the smell. Anyway, condolences to false jelly roll for his divorce. True jelly roll remains married. Just say it. That's the main factor for me is... The game. Are they... Have they done ran off their own bunny X?

so or not well our server has not done so shit mine make me biscuits I don't know you may be playing checkers but in this game of chess I still got my queen the true jelly emerges I don't know I don't even know what that means someone wrote it for me reject the false jelly roll cast him out return him to Brettwood that's why he's got all that shit written on his face It's incantations and what have you. Ours is pure of face. That's it.

I never even read a Larry Potter. I'm living the dream. I got a six, four, somewhere out here on three acres in Brentwood. I got Richard and his rowdy sons fighting my neighbors. Turn up my lawn. Turn up my lawn. It's awesome. I go to a church that looks like a theater.

Yeah. It was a theater. It was close. It was a Q'sar. It was an angles. Cusar theater of the mind. I see Morgan Wallin at Whole Foods and I'm like, brother, what a dream. Seriously, am I dreaming? Where am I? I went to the dentist the other day.

This cracker barrel's crazy. The words my doctors use are confusing. Careful now. You're very not becoming a third jelly roll and I really don't want to happen. Oh! You're starting way behind serving here. This is ambitious, man. This is already risky, too. We're messing around with creating branches in reality

because more than one person is going to try and start a true jelly roll underscore real subreddit. We're going to have a Mississippi State message board situation here on our hands before too long. And then all of them have to fight. But we need to be unified from the start. I think if we're... All right. Y'all consolidate. Yeah, y'all figure it out amongst yourself.

Again, we're not doing this, but y'all do it. I wouldn't hate if we rewrite Spencer as cable-style jelly roll sun from the future set to warn us about the terrible... I mean, if we're going cable-style, we can have roughly six different jelly rolls. Yeah. But, like, I think what I'm viewing is jelly roll was multiple guys all along. This was bordering on spider. This was bordering on spider-bird thing that there is.

Well, I thought we were going to do a spider versus shit and I could end up being jelly roll noir. Right? Oh, you're going to wear a hat. She walked in and she had legs like legs. It was a Tuesday, but I was drinking like it was a Tuesday. Even her truck had shorts. Yeah. I knew she was trouble because she had a little plastic bubble with dice in it.

You had to press it to get her to do anything. They asked me if I was ready to quit drinking and I said, no, or. I told her she had monster. energy and I didn't mean the beverage. That's our show. That's the whole thing. Yeah. That's all of college football and politics news you need for the week.

Good night. I think with the show roughly halfway over, we might as well do podcast business now. Yeah, but keep it quick. Podcast business. What's that business? It's a business. It's a business. What's going to invest?

There was one dude on Reddit who complained and immediately got stampeded. Thank you to all of you. He made Ryan quit. Who enjoy how long podcast business is and for and for and for and for putting up with it to the one. No, podcast go short. Podcast business short. The one person who was unhappy. Thank you for continuing to listen anyway.

Money hole one. Money hole one. If you would like to continue to listen more, we have a Patreon where there's even more. And guess what? Guess what? Guess what? It's so long. Hey.

It's so long. My friend. My one unhappy Reddit friend, I'm talking to you. my sibling, that over on our Patreon, there is no podcast business at all. It is the land, the land without business, the post business. It is the land to which the business is leading. Patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast to escape business. It is the only way out of business prison is to subscribe.

We have done multi-hour episodes in the past, I don't fucking know, number of weeks, and we have another that we're percolating right now. You know, Serber has really been carrying this episode. well that's going to continue let's put it that way patreon.com slash shutdown forecast okay we go all right money hole 2 homefield apparel.com big money hole nice shirts should we call it okay

money hole that's where your money goes put money in this put money here there's four holes in it one of them could be whoa it's true yeah you got you got a hole for each arm hold for head hold for torso but the real hole is in your heart and the reason it's there is you have not given

home field apparel enough money recently in order to receive clothes in exchange for your money. It's just Hawaii today. We're going to look at Hawaii's gear. It's just Hawaii because here's why. You're like, oh. Well, isn't our lawyer and now we're getting into homeopathy? I don't, I searched hole on the site. Why'd you do that, man?

Well, I just thought maybe. How to go? This is like person who forgot what a shirt is. Somebody's student section has to be named that, surely. Blanket with five holes. It's the science of being a friend. It's homeopathy. Blank it with several holes.

No. If you were going to homefield apparel.com to look for holes, you would find the North Florida Osprey's golf throwback D. There you go. Or the permanent vintage floating on high hoodie. Thanks. Whatever you're looking for. Homefield apparel.

Put in a word and then buy what pops up. It's a good game. I guess that like, I understand that the full cast is for you to be disorienting. It throws you off. It makes you feel uncomfortable. Jelly brought me a Notre Dame hat and an N.500 shirt. Bird bought me top four, Rammer Jammer shirt, UTSA shirt, Dayton Flyers and vintage Dayton. All bangers, all four.

Just put in a word. Divorce. I typed divorce into Homefieldapparel.com and it brought me to Ryan Nanny Podcast. about Colorado football. Oh, it's an article, it's an article. Did you use the word divorce in here? I hope so. You did.

You said reality and counting had briefly divorced. I hope Whitney didn't just like secretly be like, I'm going to put this in the URL. Fuck this guy. You were talking about Colorado. So while you look at Hawaii's page, I'm going to look at Colorado's page. I just searched first member of Fullcast to die. And I got no results. So we're all immortal.

God damn. This Colorado, Colorado sunset behind the mountains shirt, this is all I needed. Ran, continue with Hawaii. Just like the Hawaii rainbow gear on home field is just so soothing. Like, it is all, it looks great, it feels great. It is also probably, I think, the one thing you can buy on home field that you will never get commentary out in the world. Like, nobody will be like, oh, did you go? Oh, are you a fan?

People are just like yeah Hawaii and rainbows that shit's cool like if you are worried about oh I don't want to just sort of buy a shirt for a school that I didn't go to and I don't root for because then I have to explain it just get some Hawaii shit if you if you already have all the Hawaii shit congratulations you don't have to listen to this episode you can stop right now if you don't you have to go to home field you have to go to home field and plug in hole and when that doesn't get you what you're looking for hey listen you can't smell home feel without hole it's just math All right. Home field, whole filled. Folks, offer code, hold. No, that's not an offer code. You can, yeah, you can bleep this, by the way. Show up at the home field warehouse. That's what it says.

Seriously. They're going to have you trust up like a Christmas ham, baby. All right. That comment is where now I agree that podcast business is too long. Disagree. The one guy one guy I read it was making support All sizes available at homefield apparel.com

Right Fieldapparel.com There you go. That was your home field apparel ad. It's your home field read. Money hole three channel dash 6.ghost.io. That is right. There's a different website now.

You be getting it wrong for a month. He's never going to get it right. No, he's not. I'm not. If you correct me, please. Channel 6. News, spell it out. Spell it out.

numbers are a lie channel 6. That's right, the newsletter that Holly Anderson and I write twice a week. We're having a bang or summer. I see my last name like I'm in trouble. Yeah, it's our newsletter. It's awesome. $10 a month for two things a week. We have delivered on the solemn promise for goddamn a really long time.

Five years. We fixed the college football calendar last week. That was generous of us. We did. I have another suggestion for the college football calendar coming up. You know, also in addition to, I know I'm going to write about the World Cup again because every single match has been a banger. And in addition to that, we're discovering that Americans are very needy for approval.

Absolutely love this development. That any time any foreign visitor to the United States in 2026 has anything positive about the United States. We're like, look, look, see? We're not too bad. We're not. There's a German who really likes Buckees. He really likes Buckees. Of course he does.

The world is coming back together. The world is coming back together. We definitely are. The wall of jerky. will unite us. This is posting. We fixed America. We did it. We did it, Jill. Good job, gang. Yeah, but for real,

Scotland's awesome. Yeah, Channel 6, subscribe, thrive, enjoy. Next, Money hole. Money hole number four. So, having seen the news that Young Brands is selling Pizza Hut for $2.7 billion, Pizza Hut is finally

liberated itself and is becoming free again. I assume it'll either be bought by literal vultures or bought by a nostalgic millennial and they'll start a museum or something. Anyway, my novel has so much Pizza Hut in it that whenever there is Pizza Hut news, I get tagged about it. And that includes literally anything related to it. So having said all that, Hell is the World of Tattoo is the name of my novel, and it's not

very expensive at this point. It's been out for a number of years now. Still selling, however, might I add. And yeah, it's good. It's got a lot of pizza head in it. in addition to many things otherwise. What if I just said it's just about Pizza Hut? It's good.

That's all it is. That is one reading of it. Honestly, it is. It is a fact that when I sent out requests for like blurbs, like, hey, all, can you write a sentence on how good this thing is? There were like three people had to say like, all right, could you change one of the things that you liked me to. Should not be about pizza. Yeah, from the sound of the blurbs, it was starting to say, Ryan, I think one of them might be yours.

I think one of them was. Because I got, like, you, you send in the first one. Like, as a lawyer, you were very, very prompt with your paperwork. And I was like, all right. Someone liked the Pizza Hut stuff. Then, like, the fourth one, I was like, oh, shit. I got to start managing how much pizza had these people talking about. Possibly over-indexed on Pizza Hut reactions.

I think it's just that your, I think it's that hell with, hell is the world without you is the first of a budding pizza hut. Like, you know, we had the epistolary novel where we were like, oh, okay, this is a new literary format. Yours is just the first of what will hopefully be a multi-decade series of Pizza Hut-based literature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I intend to keep the

Pizza Hut verse going. Taco Bell is for poetry. Pizza Hut is for literature. I love that. Yeah, I like that. Ryan Nanny says poetry isn't literature. Pisses off. 800 of the gentlest people you'll ever meet. But one of the meatest.

He's so mean Speaking of mean people I host a show with Stephen Godfrey It's called Friends of Island You can listen to it Wherever you listen to this podcast You can subscribe to it at fandom island. Show

Is he always this cranky? Yeah, he's always this cranky Did he say to me the other day? Gosh, I think I've been using social media the wrong Yeah, buddy, you have What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes, yes.

Yes, 100%. He was like, oh I miss this, I miss this I missed, he was happy about a, I think it was a Spencer Shrider story, Braves pitcher that is this, like, good story about Spencer Shrider supporting Braves Pride Night. And he had totally missed it and basically found about it out about it three days later. He's like, I think I'm using social media wrong. Anyway, if you want to hear me antagonize Stephen Godfrey in the guise of asking questions about sports and having interesting conversations, but it's really just a trick to continue to twist the screws in him and make it feel miserable, just go over to Phantom Island. That's all. And last but not least, Jelly Roll Secret Project Jelly Roll, the real jelly roll? Yeah, kill it, hey, listen, Killer Ant's full album.

Jelly Roll, Eminem Collab underscore. Congrats on a full album, by the way. That's awesome. Killer Ant's full album, completely produced by Jelly Roll, written by Jelly Roll. I will take no credit for the... Choreography by Jelly Roll! Some people say it's the album that broke up his marriage.

Divorce album, it's going to be a banger. Gotta be a banger. Summer divorce album. The rumors of 2026. Lots of hot gossipone here. Yeah, well, it's out in less than a week if you're listening to this. So it's out on June 23rd on all the streaming platforms

and our album release show is next Friday, June 26th at Fair Witness Fancy Drinks and Winston Sale of North Carolina with Ork Patrol and Darling Hiss. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have CDs there. Did you say Ork Patrol? That's what I thought I said. Orte. Orte.

Oort. Oh, I was going to say, damn, Spencer would be there for that. You should have gotten an orc. Spencer's in the orc patrol. I tried to get the orc patrol, couldn't get them, but they were like, hey, you're going to love these guys. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they're great, too. If it makes you feel they're, they're orc endorsed.

They're in dorks. We can cut that out. Can't spell dork that ork? I'm not going to cut it out. So, yeah, and right now, if you're listening to this, you're like, hey, you know, well, there's three songs that I've heard on the album that have already come out. I would love to hear another one.

Where could I do that? Well, if you go to bandcamp.com or killer and stop bandcamp.com, you can listen to Mr. President on that website right now exclusively. It's the only place you can hear that song before the album comes out. So go do that. You can also pre-order the album there. If you do it on a Friday, because typically that's Bandcamp Friday, and they give us all the money.

I'm hearing reports of album of the summer. Can you confirm? Yep, yep. Best album since the beaches. I heard he's got the World Cup soundtrack on there. The real one. Yeah. Yep, real one.

Whole Space Jam soundtrack, too. Yeah. Except for the archa. Damn. For the archa. Whole album's a love letter to Cape Verde. Damn, you got... You got cannabis.

You got cannabis on the album. Yeah. Damn. That's where he's been this whole time. Got Bizzy Bone? Busy bones on the album. Tupac's on it. Biggie's on it.

Monica? All of a tribe called Quest. Monica. I don't know why that's... Big Boy and Andre 3,000. Reunite on several tracks. Yeah. Wow.

All the strokes are on it. But Andre playing... Only one of the kings of Leon. We just bullied him the whole time. They suck. Andre ain't rapping. He's doing something way cooler. Oh yeah, no.

To be clear, he's playing flute. It's the George Jones rap that really impressed me, honestly. Mm-hmm. Like, didn't know he had that in him. Yep. Yeah, you think you'd heard George Jones before. Haders will say it's AI,

but he was just dead. That's all. But also you got AI. Alan Iverson also. Alan Iverson is on the record. That's right. people were like you gotta get AI on this record it's really big in the market right now

we're like fine Spotify is full of AI music call up the answer and you're probably thinking like hey call up Jules with a Z why did killer ants put Shack Cov'all? Yo Jules with a Z and Killer Ans with a Z it was faded man sorry go ahead Ryan I was gonna say

why did Killer Ans put Shack covering a shot A song on the album and it's because Shack is the voice of an angel you'll find out art that's why you know it's poor art That's all we're saying. You know? Sport art. It's about just good,

good, honest indie music with a billion dollar budget full of... That's all we're doing here. Listen, Nikki Minaj needs to spread her wings from time to time. Sure. We didn't let her do it on this record. She's not on it. She doesn't need to spread her wings and get up out of here.

This will inspire her potentially to not suck. One day. Maybe. It should be like, damn, I could have had George Jones if I'd just... It just kept the level head about me. Y'all, that felt like a super tight podcast. I don't know about you guys. Listen, man.

Hey, if you were the one Reddit complainer, that was dedicated to you, all right? That's custom content. You can't be mad at that. Oh, yes, they can. There you go. Nice. Whamp.

Gwamp. Thank you for the extremely tight and efficient podcast business. Quick question. How long did it take for us to go from college football is ending and nothing will ever be right again and the whole sport is tarnished and Texas Tech has ruined everything that we love. How long did it take to go from that to, oh, no, it'll be fine. Everything's fine. Can you, do you have the timeline on that by chance? Six hours.

17 minutes. 17 minutes. As long as it took for, I guess, Cody Campbell to realize, like, fine, I can't sue everyone on earth and like force a 22 year old to be the centipid, like at some point I don't know Brendan Sorsby

all that well, it's clear, but like the point at which the young man said, okay, this is fucking weird, I'm gonna this sucks. I'm out. I'm going to be the supplemental draft, which like, I realize I probably should have written down this prediction, but honestly this always felt like a very real scenario. Like to me the whole question was like

how far is the crazy rich man going to push it? I do think it's a little funny that we have gone from like, Brennan Soresby can't play college football. Like it is an insult to the integrity of sport. His mere presence suggests that like we could, you know, we can't have any confidence in this. What must be done?

You can go play in the NFL. That's fine. No fucking kid. Not a big deal. Nothing to worry about there. Now they did say. because we can't get out of this without being completely fucking ridiculous about something. This is a dangerous statement, but I'm going to call this the biggest load of Huey in that Texas Tech statement,

that they were going to continue to provide Brendan with all the resources that he needed on his healing journey or whatever. I assume this means they're going to set him up with night night calls with the fellas every evening. Looking forward to hearing how those go. I think that's a supportive, persistent, and entertaining, and entertaining multiplayer game that they all log on at like eight or nine to play. So there was all along a completely plausible scenario in which the kid wants his $5 million and tech never backs down and all sorts of things end up in extremely wild places. The way it happens to have.

turned out is getting the fuck out of this shit feels better than fighting for a possible $5 million. It was a fun week where the sport was ending. I mean, it did reveal... It revealed even more

fractures and fault lines than were known all along, and it revealed the extent to which lots of individual parties are willing to go to war against each other. I mean, It wasn't nothing.

It wasn't. Mostly I want to put this in context of this is the same industry where Sports Illustrated put out an infamous cover that was like Miami needs to shut down the, like that was the cover story. Miami can't have football anymore. By the way, I think I think that cover story gets a lot of bad PR, Ryan. And frankly, I think Sports Illustrated could have done it every week for. They could have just periodically been like, ah, Miami football's a bad idea. Miami loses to MTSU and they just rerun. Hey, there's a classic.

Miami in an offseason week. Miami in a random April should be like, this abomination should probably be exterminated. I hear you. Yeah. I guess my thing is like if there were like wildly overreacting takes, I genuinely do not know what they were because like whoever said it is someone I don't pay attention to. I think we are, I think it's interesting that college football more than most sports is prone to chicken little. and has been for decades at this point in a way that I don't fully grasp because in some ways I kind of feel like the fact that college football has persisted and has only gotten more popular despite everything being the end of the world and everything being like this is going to kill this and this will be like whether you like it or not is a separate topic but if there's one thing college football has shown over the last let's say 50 years the motherfucker is to tenacious. It does not want to die, even if you think that it should sometimes.

So I hold that opinion almost every time. And like I've written that many, many times that like the over, you know, like the college football is dead, blah, blah, it's something that people have been saying for over a century. This was a red line that felt like a red line and then the red line was removed. So like I don't, I don't think that the potential massive conflict with everything wasn't on the. table. I think the removal is proof of is proof of what I'm saying though. Like eventually college football like college football eventually figures out like well no, this is this is what I appreciate about the big 12's complaint is they were pretty upfront. They were like,

this is bad for business. And we are a business. And as a result, we are allowed to tell Texas tech, hey, fuck you. You agreed to these rules that are about our business and you are fucking things up for us. And I think like with that perspective in mind, I'm like, well, yeah, at some point somebody was going to say, whether it was the conferences, a television network, the college football playoff, somebody was going to come along and say, like, I don't even necessarily care about the NCAA regulations of this. I just think this is bad for the bottom line. And that's the part where I'm like, I feel like there was shockingly little faith put into that, like, or rather it was framed as like someone must do the right thing. I don't think the big 12 did the right thing. I think the

big 12 did the smart thing. And we can recognize that sometimes those overlap and sometimes they don't. But I don't think we have to sort of say like it like it makes more sense to me because it wasn't like an act of courage. It was just like, man, this sucks and nobody wants to see it. Just from a just from a viewer. I mean, I completely agree that the system policing itself was not about anyone caring about the right thing. It was protecting everybody's wallets. I completely agree about that. At the same time, rich people often do not care about what's best for each other's wallets, their own wallets. Like, rich people are fucking stupid. So, like, there was never, ever any guarantee that Cody Campbell is going to back down. Like, no matter how many smart and wise

and self-interested in any adjective therein, institutions stood against him, this man could have kept it going if the kid had been willing. And again, I'm, I'm, I'm, there's a bit of speculation there on my part. But for me, it was, you know, after things we've witnessed in the world at large and college football is everything and everything is college football, Cody Gamble being Elon Musk of sports, that never, ever felt like an impossible scenario to me. I appreciate Brendan Sorsby's honesty and knowing that he's not a Joan of Arc. The man to lead us. You got to know, nope, you got to know whether you're that dude or not, right? There were people who completely went off the deep end on this.

And they're generally people that, you know, would go off the deep end about any of these stories because they think the NCAA is still real. So like, what was an example of that type of stuff? I'm going to find my favorite example of a mainstream reaction to this, by the way, which is I was getting to that. I have to use it as a bridge. Back angle of the Fort of the Fort Worth Star Telegram had my favorite take on it, which, hey man. let's just go ahead and put it all out there on front street Brandon Sorsby is leaving Texas Tech which never grasp he wasn't worth it that's true though that's not overreaction yeah I'm gonna do the Stephen A

but she didn't have to say it like that I mean you're gonna say it say it sure say it with your whole chest it's that's interesting because it It relies on assumption that there is some player who would be. That's what I said. I was talking to one of my uncles is a Texas tech grad and he's like, this is very embarrassing. And this kid probably isn't worth it. And I was like, man, I don't know if Cam Newton would be worth all this. Right, right, right.

He would. He would 100% was going to go ahead. Like as far, worth all this in the sense of playing it out as far as it could possibly go. Yes. No, I'm irrationally committed to this. Okay, okay. Texas Tech ending up as Yukon on the moon is Cam Newton

Pete worth all that, you know, honestly, kind of. Yeah. Listen, I'm riding that train. That is when I'm punching that ticket. Yes, Cam Newton. Like, hey, we're actually going to have to overturn the constitutional order of the United States for this. And I was like, I've seen people do it for less and worse.

Honestly, now that I really think about it, if your team could have 2010 Cam Newton and that is your final football season, how many schools take that deal? Because it's, I mean, it's the far majority of most. Yes. Like, especially because you know, based on that Auburn roster, that it's not like, oh, well, if you don't have six other out of, it's like, now you're going to go pretty fucking far just with Camden.

We did this as a thought experiment like seven or eight years ago that like almost any power four team you had Cam Newton in that season and they would have had a real shot. Based on the quality of Auburn's roster. Anyway, so like. Yeah, yeah, if you're tech, yeah, you do all this for Cam Newton, and then you just fold the program. Yeah. Fold it, fold it for him, you know? Like, what did, these are, again, what did Herb Street have to say about Swarstby?

There, that's probably, I guarantee you, I will want. It's sickening. No, we got. There we go. There we got one. I got one. It's sickening. Kirk Herb Street slams court.

Kirk Herb Street, legal correspondent coming in. Definitely understanding all. all of the angles of the situation saying it's sickening. Brother, that's not sick. What else was there? That's so we got, we got Herb Street, okay? What else did he say? Oh, here we go.

Here we go. I can get to this. This is great, okay? This is a video which I'm not gonna watch. Oh, here we go. It's sickening that if you don't hear what you like, you can just go to your local judge and find the answer that you want, Herb Street said, I don't know.

I'm sorry, this is the voice is two, hold on a second. I don't know. know where this ends. If this is where we are right now, you could do whatever the hell you want to do in this sport. I'm sorry, it's not dumb. And if anybody says anything, just find a local judge to tell you the answer you want to get. See, this sounds cute because you sound like you're doing Herb Street's dog. I sound like Patrick Starr. Yeah. Blubb. Yeah, like not understanding how courts were just saying it's sickening. Brother, we need to work on definition of sickening here 100%. This is also saying, this should have never happened.

Brendan Sorsebe was gambling on sports. He should have, I think the thing that should have happened, happened. He's going in the supplemental draft, right? He's now the NFL's problem. I would also point out as an observation. One reason we're like, oh, the NFL will take care of it is because I think we all assume the NFL has Delta Force level goons governing all of this that will never hear about and that have already tapped every single piece and device that Brandon Sorsby has on his person to determine whether he's gambling or not. Well, yeah, like, if you gamble and get caught in the NFL, you're just gone, and that's it.

You're just gone. Yeah, we don't have discussion. You just don't work there anymore. Yeah. But that's it. I had fun. I thought it was a fun week. Yeah.

I'm wondering if the world was ending in college football. Yeah. And like, it's like, you know, it's okay. to not know what'll happen and then once it happens be entertained by both the unknowing and the knowing. Yes. Mostly I think like when these things happen, it's important to remember the wisdom of John Boyce. It will be interesting to see what happens next. That's it. That's the only real rational response most of the time. It will be interesting to see what happens next. And you know what? It was interesting. It's very interesting that Ken Paxton accidentally back Texas Tech into a least. corner which forced everybody to fucking walk away that's interesting this dude who's out here like you're not a Texan if you know what the word vegan means is out here

saying like I think Texas tech should be allowed to have its own crime ring but no one no other Texas football program including the vastly more popular ones are able to have it's interesting that like the attorneys general of Oklahoma and Kansas were both like oh and easy layup bang Sweet. Everybody's dunking on Ken Paxton. That's interesting. It's interesting that the, here's what will be most interesting about it.

Now the NFL gets to do its thing where it's like, oh, well, this is, we have no knowledge. We are the first to learn of this man. We are beginning to conduct an independent investigation that has already been ruled on. The young man has already said, yeah, I was. I was betting on bot swan and table tennis and my own team. Yep. And everybody just gets to be mad. No.

I got another one. My favorite German tank pilot, Josh Pate, said that, um... I... He's too big to fit in the tank. Don't get it's on top of the tank. Get him. You know what? It's too big to fit in the tank.

It's fucked up how Indiana Jones killed him with that propeller. Wait, is he the same dude who stares at Pat McAfee, or they both just have the same, like, skull? Yeah, different dude. They both have a skull measured with calipers. Dear Reddit, I'm aware it's a different dude. Jason Kirk, so-called expert, confusing white nationals. His skull-faced blindness. So, yeah.

Josh Pate Josh Pate said that this was I Josh I said that I'm sorry couldn't talk um Jesus

This old That's good So good So good Oh Um Um Um

Um Said said That this was That this decision This whole case has Compromised the NCAA If I ever have a problem.

I think so like it has it has for much further compromise the already extremely compromised is kind of how I would right like this shit was already like 70% compromised. Now it's like 85% compromised. You know what I mean? Compromised. It's like it's like there's a there's a sinkhole beneath your house and you have. two rooms left and now you have one room left. So like to an extent it did further compromise it. The Supreme Court, the Supreme Court that believes that a mailbox has more rights than you, right, because its property, has already invited people openly to destroy this organization and its unsustainable business model that could not work anywhere else, making nothing up there. And this is what did it? That, that's, this is the thing that did it, brother. Yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, That's amazing. Yo, that's amazing.

What the Sorsby thing is good for, and I realize this too late, is that if you are just pissed, if you are, like, frustrated with the transfer portal or NIL or team switching conferences, like, and that's cool. Like, I don't have any judgment if you find the state of college football to be unpleasant for a variety of reasons. But it just became like it focused all. that energy. I think everybody just took out all their big feelings on what college football is now on this highly, like, I think what got lost is that this is such a highly specific set of

circumstances. Most of the time, when athletes bet at all or bet on their own team, it doesn't take us four fucking years to find out. Like, everything about this really feels kind of one of one and not necessarily like, ah, the tsunami looms. Here it comes. Dozens of gambling Texas Tech quarterbacks stealing your children, forcing them to register for bad dual accounts. I also, there's two other things I love in this one.

A load-bearing piece of this entire story is, well, we trust the University of Cincinnati's oversight. That's what we really trust their background checking on prospects. We thought, you know, hey, we played there. we sure surely we wouldn't have to look too carefully or we already knew that's that those are it's it's one or the other uh the other thing is this that um in this day and age everything still comes down to the most coach like moron coach is never wrong right like big dumb coach is never wrong right hey what's this team need this team needs quarterback we need a guy you can do everything

brother you can get you can get your i i can get your HD TV right you can you can get your your your TIs and your PIs right all the initials you bring them okay I only need two and that's Q and B that's it still need a QB that's at the end of all of this I love that there's a piece of basic moron football knowledge that is absolutely true that Texas Tech has gotten to the end of all of this and they're like well still need a QB got the of two different states involved, got the big 12 to actually come together as a single entity, organized and decisive.

Got Michigan to cancel a volleyball game. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like, it's it. That honestly is for now the only concrete ramification is this volleyball game. Mm-hmm. Right? Like, like, like it, it, it revealed, um, cannibalistic tendencies.

In some places, right? But for now, whatever day that volleyball game was going to be on is going to be the darkest day in Texas Tech history. That is the day that we will remember all of us. Can I ask a provocative question to the rest of you? Like an erotic or like? Yes. Depending on your perspective, it may be. Okay.

Yes, I do, Ryan. All right. So Texas Tech, by all accounts, it appears that big, 12 gets an opportunity to shake its litigation hammer. Texas Tech backs down by extension. Sorsby says, fuck this, going to the supplemental draft. That seems to be what happened here. Nobody's actually going to say word for word.

That's what happened. But that seems to be the best guess. We've talked to, we've at least alluded to this on previous episodes that LSU was one of the other schools bidding for Brendan Sorsby. And so my simple question is this. Do you think LSU would have quit? Hmm. Yeah.

You do? I do. Yeah. Okay. Do you think they would have quit earlier? Same time or later? I think they would have quit earlier. Interesting.

And I think there's a reason I don't think LSU's subsequent power structure is as organized as that that you saw in play here. Like, it's wild to see. It's wild to see the state AG jump in on a case. but if anything you would think that would be more likely with lSU because there is no power program in the state that the that anybody in state government has to account for or what i could see with lSU is the temperature would have not have gone through the roof because you wouldn't have the baron of lubbock out here calling out every institution in sight and like and sending you know like that was what caused the the like whole second wave of wave of panic. You wouldn't have that with LSU because no one person speaks for anything other than themselves. You are putting a lot of faith in Lane Kiffin staying quiet. Well, Elaine Kiffin isn't as powerful as Cody Campbell. Is it Texas Tech? That's probably, yeah, you're right. There's also one person would jump in here who I guarantee would make everything worse,

embarrass himself, and get them to fold up the tables real early. And that's Jeff Landry. That's Jeff Landry. Every time Jeff Landry stumbles into a situation, he makes it worse. And Everyone's like, oh, shut up, Jeff. Just like impacts. I think you're right. And it gives, like, I'm not, plenty of people are given Texas to all the grief in the world about this, and I'm not necessarily looking at to that.

But I think if you're just looking and trying to assess, like, how did I do? How did my decisions go? How did I win or lose the court of public opinion? If the conclusion is, hey, man, LSU wouldn't have done this wild shit? You probably fucked up. You probably fucked up. if the conclusion is LSU would have been more sober and cautious than you would, than you were in this case.

LSU would have read the room better than you did Texas Tech. You fucked up pretty bad. Like, yeah, Cody Campbell, what did you gain from this experience? What has improved about your life and your world? An extra lunch with Ted Cruz? Two extra lunches with Ted Cruz. And also, all the dudes who had to sit at a table and repeat Cody Campbell's talking points on a 25 minute video that TCU responded to with and I ain't reading all that.

What did y'all really gain? Like, yeah, this dude's money, but like, is it feeling worth it? All this dude's money? I'll tell you another reason that LSU would have folded early is this. They're better at this. They are. They're better at crime. Okay.

Right? They're better at crime and being sneaky. And they would prefer to move. Sneaky. Oh, no, I will agree with this. LSU would not have done the, all right, let's just cop to it and put you in LSU it would have been like, shut the fuck up. Don't you say shit about this. Okay. The rumors we heard would have been far more numerous, right? Like officially they would

have been like, ah, you know, we're conducting a review and we're not going to do anything. Meanwhile, I would have three people from inside the governor's office texting me being like, I'm just going to put the phone on the table and you can listen. Like that's not an exaggeration. Yeah, you'd have feuds and stuff. Yeah, you'd have feuds and people who are like, you want to see a show. You'd have feuds and leaks and whistleblowers, and you'd have all the usual stuff. Instead, Texas Tech, you just got like, well, one dude bought the university. So whatever he thinks.

Like, for a while there, Keishabute was going to get charged for gambling illegally while he was a member of the LSU football team, including gambling on LSU. And all those charges went away. That is not, and now he's written about it for the Players Tribute and all that. Like yeah, I think, I think LSU would have successfully been like, nope, we're not, what do you mean, we're taking it, what do you mean injunction?

That's the dumbest shit I heard. I can, I can hear by the way that you wanna do Coach O and I'm gonna go ahead and say, no, I'm not gonna do it. That spiritually, I think LSU will talk like Coach O as like, if they had a, if they had a Decu tree. Deku with various E's and Euse and X-E. Yeah, a Deco.

How does a tree shirtless? This doesn't, how do I understand that this tree is not wearing a shirt? This tree, though not having a job or being capable of having one as a tree, is nonetheless skipping work to be here. When you go into the tree's mouth into the dungeon, it's like seasoning you. Yeah. So if LSU had a Decu tree, it would speak with the voice of co-eceping. Joe and that's okay that's like like Alabama will forever like talk like two people they will talk like either Bear Bryant or they will talk like Druski in the

video where he says he doesn't give a piss about the tide those are the those are the communal voices can we also assign Cocho the voice work for Navi yeah hey listen shut your ass up I do think my favorite lasting ramification from this a reaction from this whole saga is the segment of Texas Tech fans and supporters who are like the second we can we're getting out of the big twop these guys we're the second we're getting invite acc don't want you man where the fuck you're gonna go not happening it's also good pack well take you it's also good because it's just that before this Texas Tech would have been like no loyal to the big

Our team full of people who met eight minutes ago. Thank you. We are loyal to this conference full of teams that met eight minutes ago. Thank you, but no thank you, SEC. It's too important to us to play you CF. Like, talk. Literally, where the fuck would they go? I mean, you can swap spots with Memphis if you want.

You could? I think they should just go to the Pac-12 and just go undefeated every year. Your new rival's Texas State. You could beat Texas State. That's for sure. I hope you can beat Texas State because if you can't. Cody Campbell's going to be down there with, oh, we've forgotten the most important part.

And I mean, God, we can bring it on home with this. Now Texas Tech is going to go in and rewrite the definition of tampering. That's what they're going to do. They're going to come by your quarterback. Darien Mensa, schools hasn't started. Yeah. I mean, portal ain't open. Well, guess we're going to find a judge who says it is.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, sorry. Look, portal ain't open. I think that's a restriction. Honestly, like, if you wanted to know seriously how it would work, but portal would be a restriction on like labor movement and fair pay, wouldn't it be? Listen, it's a transfer portal. It's not a Quentin portal.

It's not a state put portal. You know? Would Arch do it for $20 million? Would Arch do it for $100 million? dollars. Archwood. Arch's family would not. Would Arch do it for $50 million?

Everybody's got a price. I don't want you to doubt how committed Cody Campbell is to all this because do you know the name of his companies, like the name of most of his companies, is Double Eagle? Why is it named Double Eagle? That is the mascot of his high school.

Hey, you know what? Fuck it. Let's get Cody Campbell. out there. I know he didn't play quarterback, but starts singing it. He played? He played? Cody Campbell with like a bionic, bionic limbs and stuff. He can afford that. Show me, Anthony. Iron man,

Cody Campbell. That's right. This is a man so, like, you doubt, there's no bit going here, right? We've never told the joke. Cody Campbell's so committed to this shit that when Houston and Texas and Texas Tech were scheduled to play on a Friday, he objected on the basis of, that's the high school night.

Like, for real. so what we're saying is that we're going to get two guests on this show and they're coming up we're just going to we're going to book them okay one we're going to have jelly roll on here we have we already the imposter yeah okay yeah yeah and first of all we're going to say why you've been ducking us that's not sting that's imposter's jelly rolls in the rafters and that's where he lives and that's the wall brother and and I ain't spiders up here here. And second, second,

uh, he's got a bat like the animal. Second we're going to have Cody Campbell. You have Cody Campbell. Let's like, like seriously, if we could get Cody Campbell in this podcast, just straight up ask him,

dog, what the fuck are you doing? We'll be the only show that's like, do all that shit, man. Yeah, like, that's crazy. You have so much money. We could just tell Cody Campbell

things we would do if we had. I'd have a clean pool for sure. Like, all this shit you could do your money and you were trying to get kicked to the fucking American conference. Yeah, like, what is up? Dude, this is the guy who was like, oh, heat's really turning up. Where can I go to win people over? The Dan Dakeet show, that's the answer.

You want to win people over. I mean, shit, that showed me, Cody Campbell would probably come on the full cast. God damn. I mean, we got to be bigger than that shit. I'm going to go on the fifth biggest show on Outkick, and that's what I'm going to win the hearts and you'll see you want a lot more hearts and minds because we're going to be mean to you people will be like that poor man yeah yeah yeah yeah come on come on we'll get you like strategy sympathy sympathy votes because they'll be like all right all right that's enough that's

enough like legally first of all all right let him up let him up yeah can't believe how mean they were to that billionaire i can't believe cody campbell withstood 90 minutes in the hot box We'll bring back the same man. They made him do podcast business. It was 40 minutes long and they made him do it. I own a lot of companies. It's not fair. Yeah, we got, we're like after, after we get through killer ants, we're like,

all right, Cody, pitch your shit. You got 30 seconds. Tell us what the fuck Double Eagle does. Hurry up. I'd be like jelly roll was so nasty to them. And it was the real one, too. The fake one is nice. Mama said he couldn't hurt me, but he didn't.

You didn't even have any tattoos. I had no way to target him.