Shutdown Fullcast - The Hunt For Blue October

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

SHOW NOTES Checking in with our friend Jenna Ellis Yeah that doesn’t take long, because uh-oh, Michigan is suddenly the crime mitten How much … whatever … should we ascribe to head coaches in these situations? So what’s next for our boy Harbz? Putting this whole saga in context of the Big Ten (man this really does sound like a football podcast, doesn’t it, sorry about that) cares? Well, we’ll tell you! Hitler update! Don’t worry Penn State, we’ll get to you What SHOULD Penn State fans want? Let’s talk a little NFL and MLB because it’s fall y’all!! Jason presents playoff rankings trivia Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm going to be able to be. Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. No, that was good. That was good. Thank you, Jason. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. I am joined as I am every week by Jason Kirk, Ryan Nanny, Holly Anderson, and of the ones and two is Michael Serbitt.

This is all made possible and brought to you by Coors Light, Mountain Cold Refreshment. made to chill. I love Made Possible by Coors Light. Yeah. For years when we did it, it was like, I hope Coors Light someday retroactively makes it possible. And they did. They did.

That's how cold they got. Think about what else Coors Light has made possible. Like we've got Coors Light in our fridges, thanks to Drizzly and our Instacart. We've got these sick bomber jackets. Coors, in general, made Smokey and the Bandit possible. Yeah. Yeah. Probably a lot of Big Ten conceptions are, of course, light related, right?

That's an interesting question. I'm so glad you brought this up. I watched the, I watched the latest installation in the Scream franchise over the weekend, which is set in New York City, and Coors has clearly bought out every advertising slot in the entire movie. I had never, Ryan, you're a former New Yorker. I had never really thought of Coors as a New York City brew. I would say it is not. Like, it's not specifically in any way, shape, or form. What's funny is that the girls in the movie who were in New York moved there from Michigan. So I just assumed that like the scream killer, like the ghost face killer, following them from Mission to New York, Coors just followed them as well. Interesting. Love that. I wonder if the chill god of Coors perceives the skyscrapers.

of large cities as mountains. More is large cans, and it's like, Mama. Are skyscrapers the wire mother of the Coors can? Yeah, if they turn blue, something's gone really wrong, though. I disagree. Something's gone. I don't know. Red is the color you want to watch out for in a screen movie, Spencer.

That's true. A lot of people don't know about that. You know what? If you try to intercept my signals, you know what you're just going to get. Coors Light, baby. That's it. I was going to say static. Why would those be your signals?

Whatever I'm doing You know beer's not made of radio waves, right? No, but we got COVID boosters, so we got 5G in our teeth now. Okay, all right, well. I don't care what they're made of. The signal's always clear to me, buddy. Crack one. Ryan, if it doesn't have radio waves, how come it makes you turn up?

Oh! Think about that. And that's our show. Yeah, thanks, y'all. This has been sponsored by Coralind. I like saying brought to you, like we're Nova, right? like this presentation oh i like it it makes me think of like all products of the dick van dyke show brought to you by kellogg's yeah while you're slapping your wife and telling her to get back

to making biscuits home pour some cereal for the kids i did not see that episode whoa i don't think mary tyler would have i don't think she would have stood for that i'm telling the audience at home dick man dyke oh okay okay dick van dyke owner of the most authentic english accent in cinema is it is it Dick Van Dyke is, like, attempting to, like, shame his audience out of it. Like, you know, while you're doing that stupid shit, why don't you have some Kellogg's cereal instead? Maybe you're just hungry. I'm told it'll calm you down if you have certain urges.

College football podcast sued by Dick Van Dyke for alleging domestic violence 60 years ago. It would be an honor. It would be. To be slapped by Dick Van Dyke. Diagnosis murder star, Dick Van Dyke? Yeah. Absolutely. That's a dolphin.

Oh, listen, I'm a stand. That's a television show where the title came first, right? Absolutely. Okay. Man rescued by dolphins Dick Van Dyke. Have you heard this story? No. Dick Van Dyke.

Oh my God. Okay, the Dick Van Dyke Dolphin Story is my... Listen, there's a long, long, long, long list of things to be favorite about chitty, chitty, bang, bang Dick Van Dyke. But the dolphin story is up there. I just want to note, like, again, this is the audience course wants us to pull in. Dick Van Dyke stands in 2023. Pull up a chair. We're here for you.

We're broadening the age range upwards to the Golden Age. Let me give you the greatest headline to ever appear in The Guardian, which is... Nope, second best. Sorry. Best is always going to be American Pie actor Jason Biggs, attacked by Gibraltar ape. Correct. The second is Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke. Mary Poppin Star feared death after apparently falling asleep on his surfboard, but friendly sea creatures pushed him to home.

When was this? When was this? This was not that long. I mean, he was a senior citizen. Okay. Yeah. I believe he was over 80 when he fell asleep on his... It looks like 2010.

Yes. And he fell asleep, started paddling with the swells, and he saw Finn swimming around him and said, I'm dead. He was 84 when this occurred. And it turns out that they were porpoises and they pushed Dick Van Dyke all the way to shore. My marine allies, the porpoises, pushing Dick Van Dyke. And in Ryan's mind, of course, he was the star of popular 1960s sitcom Alice is preparing to murder Ted in his sleep. This was half of all shows, a wife preparing to murder their useless and abusive husband. Yeah.

All canceled before their time. Cancellation used to be a lot more straightforward, that's all I'm saying. So you know, there's this idea that, like, dogs are the, like, the perfect moral judge. Like, you know, if a dog likes you, you're probably pretty cool, you know, that kind of thing. Like, maybe it turns out it was sea mammals all along because, like, orpuses. Porpoises made a good call here, and Orcas have been making some good calls recently as well. Orcas clearly reading the labor market, if nothing else. Yeah.

The one. I feel like that's kind of slowed down recently? Are they, are we back in like a... They're recalibrating. No, that's what I'm asking. Are we in planning meetings for the next stage? This would be a much more efficient way to run our system of justice. Instead, like, yes, I understand it's a time-honored tradition.

that you're tried by a jury of your peers and you have the opportunity to present evidence and confront the witnesses against you and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But what if instead... Of a firing squad? We just were like, okay. We're gonna drop you in this tank.

Jenna Ellis, we are putting you in the ocean, and we're letting the ocean decide what to do with you. We're giving you a floaty. Yeah, we're not trying to drive. It's not, this isn't like... This isn't a witch trial. We're letting the whales. decide.

We're letting the ocean decide whether or not you are guilty. And we will abide by the ocean's decision. Maybe without a floaty because we don't want to add trash to the ocean and we're already putting Jenna Ellis in it. What if it's some sort of like dissolving floaty? Yeah. A time release floaty. No, they do make like compost bags at composting bags now that are that do like they have

the compost Jenna Ellis with their bio degree. Listen, find a better use for her than being milling. into a nutritious paste. I'm just saying, you know, our courts are all backed up. The ocean is wide open. Yeah, there's lots of whales. Yeah, we're job creating for orcas.

So, like, there's an Ernest Hemingway quote about that, you know, it basically comes out to like, hey, but I'm not a fascist. And the idea is like, well, you'll find out whether you're one or not. I just like the idea that this lady who was involved in a plot to overturn the U.S. government was probably the girl in high school. You're like, oh, she's so nice. No, no fucking way. Was she nice at my school?

I'm going to, I'm going to tell you this. No. No. That's as far as I can comment at this time. You bringing up Ernest Hemingway also made me think of something that I know he probably didn't write for sale, baby shoes never worn. Yeah. But the idea, like, let's assume that he did. And the idea like, wow, this is the saddest story ever.

That's only true if you've never tried to put shoes on a baby. babies don't want to wear shoes yeah most baby shoes aren't worn yes for sale baby shoes asshole baby yeah right there's nothing sad about this it's just normal shoes fucking suck though so I stand with the baby on our bare feet together even though they can't stand

I'm sorry one more thing at the bottom Jenna Ellis is very young and at the um not as young as she would like you to think she's 38 and at the very bottom of her lengthy Wikipedia page long for a young person there's a link that just says Crime Portal Sounds badass

Damn So maybe it's not all bad I've entered the crowd portal The U is back I felt like her ceiling before then would be like Loses her position on the HOA After getting her third consecutive DUI that year

Crime Portal sounds like the unlicensed remake of TimeCop Which in itself My three step morning Get ready with me one I go to Starboy books, and I get my little latte with 37. Yeah, with three, I summon the crime portal. Two, I go to Orange Theory. Three, summon crime portal.

Shit, we're making her cool. We're falling into that trap where they're like, Joe Biden's going to give everybody $1,000 a year and make new jobs that have unions. He's going to give you gay tacos. I'm like, oh, sweet. Please don't put me in that taco stand filled briar patch. All I'm saying is we turn the ocean into. crime portal. You go in and we see

if you come out or not. Yeah. Yeah, I have news for you about your ocean's, the ocean's plans for you. It's not going to go well. Here comes swimming. Here comes Spencer Hall. I know what his plans for me are. Poseidon's landlocked bastard.

I'm going to be. All right, beach professor, lace of knowledge on me. I'm going to be a festive chotchky on the bottom in about 12 minutes. Yeah, but you're going to be so well preserved. Yeah. Oh, God. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, should be next charity bowl challenge spencer swims the english channel let's start with spencer swims an olympic yeah come on brother let's scale this back a little bit 300 beers if the dolphins want you to survive

you will how about i swim how about i swim the courtyard pool channel first there okay all right okay but one end of it has to be eight feet we can arrange that i'm sure okay yeah um Oh, no, wait, how tall are you? One of an F's be six feet. Hey, speaking of crime portals. Guess who else entered the crime portal? We need the sound of a slamming jail door to go with that song. The scandal mitten.

Those who tape will be champions. Hell to recording signals. The tape, the tape, the tape, the tape. Right off the bat. We all agree that them winning the title is the funniest possible thing that happens here, right? It's on the list. It's on the list. Very, very short list. I mean, if they were Ohio State, they would give themselves a bull ban for this year, but, you know, they don't have that kind of honor.

I'm also delighted that Michigan's scandal involves, Michigan scandal, rather, involves seat geek. I suppose like the Ohio State version is to pay 100 guys to stand up the entire game. holding old-timey cameras that you crank like look look at us you said we're cheating yeah well now we're cheating loud there's burdus riding on a penny fathering but it's not ohio state implicated in this scandal no we're hypothetically pretending what it would be would be like if ohio state cheated as badly as michigan did so let's allegedly let's catch the listeners up who wants to take the task of explaining this uh unnamed scandal it's not going to anything gait because we're just not going to do that no who wants to take this one

sorry i started trying to think of a scandal name how do we decide who wants it i started to think of a scandal name and i got lost spencer let's let you try and then when you fuck up we'll we'll jump in how about that uh that seems to be the usual way of thinking so i am 100% on board with doing this he's everything we know about how we got here talking about a man named Connor Stallions. Okay. Michigan is alleged, alleged to have collected signs from other teams over a span of 30 games, 30 games. At least, at least. Okay, yes, at least 30 games from 11 different big 10 teams. Basie?

Keep going. I'm going to go through the facts. You just keep riffing. We're going to get it. It doesn't feel great. Okay. Okay. Harbiquitic was the only other thing that immediately came to mind, but I'm going to keep digging.

Now, why would this be an issue if it's perfectly legal to try to interpret the signs offered by opposing teams? Little Brown Jug, dumb scandal. Keep going. I like it. Okay. First, you cannot under NCAA bylaw. 11.6.1, you cannot scout games in person. That is illegal. And according to this Michigan Daily article that's helping me get through this without sounding like a complete

fucking moron, that the exact phrasing of the rule is that it prohibits off-campus in-person scouting of future opponents. Okay? Didn't say anything about past opponents, motherfucker bang out um second bringing time cop back into this already we talked about this you can't record video of opponents other games like that

in section four article 11 which uh if you want to get real picky here any attempt to record either through audio or video means any signals given by an opposing player coach or other personnel is prohibited now there's some wiggle room

with that one but I will fucking spare you the legal nitpicking that goes on there because these aren't even real laws. They're NCAA. Well, they're very real. They're very, I'm sorry, they're very real. They're the laws of the game. And what's

higher than the game? The team. The team. The team. From the Michigan perspective, they were real until like five days ago. Yes. Yes. This has been going on for quite a while. I enjoy the people who have preempted any, well, he didn't have that much to do with the team

by showing photos of him, images of him, Connor Stallions, the GA who's alleged to have done this, standing next to Harbaugh on the sidelines. So that's a bit of a non-starter that he was not, you know, that this is just a guy. Well, no, I mean, he's on the spot. We have to recast it as the Waluigi and not the warrior of Todd Scallions because he got caught. Yeah, and if you want to know what kind of a crime this is. It's a real fucking dumb one because, and one that Stallions himself steered into by putting

things on his LinkedIn like his strengths being identifying the opponent's most likely course of action and most dangerous course of action. Additionally, identifying or exploiting critical vulnerabilities and centers of gravity

in the opponent's scouting process. So right there, is that a good spot to what we know about Mr. Stallions being a former Marines employee. I think it's a good term. And that has since been linked-inified through football world into like a personality

based around like op-int and sig-int and various ints that just mean knowing shit. Yeah. Like it's like this repackaging of marine military whatever that we see a lot in our country that is then turned into like army business that you can use

not in the army, right? Yes. I know how we feel about it, but what about Wolvergate? What about Wolvergate? I will say this. Put it in the pile. I think it makes the pile. It's still not great. Jail to the victors.

God damn it. There it is. Oh, man. Thank you. okay I feel better already Imagine if one of them went Imagine if Jim Harbaugh was imprisoned in actual jail for this

There are a number of things that are known at this point including that Stallions was full-time as of May 2022 before that he was volunteering for the staff and that

that this is Okay, where did Ryan go? Ryan's gone. We'll get through this. I'll be back. I'm trying to come up with something with a Rang Contra and I can't get there. Yes, there we go.

Okay, so that I believe largely gets us to what was done and what has been reported out across Fairfair. Oliver, team up north. Oh! I like that one. That sounded sarcastic, but it wasn't.

I was just trying. Whoa. Hey, girl. She's on the outside. It's been through. It's fine. Now, this leads to the question. This leads to, I see her.

This leads to. I ran counter. God, thank you. For 4.5 yards. This leads to, like, a couple of real obvious questions. One, what did Jim Harbaugh know? What did he know? And how did he know it?

And what did he do about it? Now, this doesn't really matter. because if the NCAA wants to punish Harbaugh, they have... Oh, it's not even want. It's, they're very clear about this. They've changed the rules in recent years where the head coach is presumed to...

Like, all wrongdoing is basically attributable to the head coach. Whether they knew about it, whether they sanctioned it, like, is immaterial in that determination. They have a green light to do it anyway. Yeah. They got sick of parsing who was a fault for one did this coach technically skate and like it feels bad to punish players

because it should feel bad to punish players but like yeah they've sort of realized oh this guy making $10 million we can blame him for shit well if you yes especially because like you don't get to be like

I am the mastermind I am the chess master which is what happens when I hire you like why you were hired I every detail of this program I have a binder on to make it be the most powerful football machine in human existence.

They'd be like, I didn't know he was going to. I didn't know he was doing it. And yet, all of that said. I'm just a three football boy. Just calling place. And yet, all of that said, we know how Jim Harbaugh feels about recruiting. Okay. Like, I, the reason I might buy a scenario in which Harbaugh didn't know about this is

because he is famous for getting his recruiting guys. guys into a room perilously close to signing day and saying, okay, who are all these guys? Yeah. Like he's not, it's not that I think that he would deliberately wall himself off from such a scenario. It's that I'm not entirely sure he's interested in things that are not football field. Well, I think I, at this point, what I believe most, this is not a statement of fact. This isn't even a statement of faith or anything.

This is, like, what I, what seems most plausible to me is that Harbaugh probably didn't know the extent to which Stallions, that's his name, was doing these things, and possibly not even that he was making these trips at all. I find that plausible. Harbaugh, this is intense devotion to a competition and so forth. I could see that. That said, if it happened, yeah, you got to hit him regardless. Oh, totally. Like, he's, he needs to be held responsible for his, like, I, I, yeah, I, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I fully believe that it's plausible that he didn't know about this, but you are hired to be the person.

Like, if you didn't know about this, he should have. Yeah, I think we can ask. Either way, you got to do something. I think we can ask the listener to hold those two ideas in their head at the same time. Well, because you, this is why you can't, and this is always the great separation, you hire these guys to be like, you know, I will be in charge of every second or every micro thing about this team. And you can't just say, like, takebacks when it's inconvenient for you. Yeah, if you told me Nick Saban didn't know, I'd be like, bullshit. If you told me Jim Harbaugh didn't know, I'm like, maybe.

If I didn't know, if I didn't know how, okay, it's like, if you told me, for example, Dana didn't know. Dana doesn't know the names of his own players on defense. You mean Chad Heifers? I was going to say that exact same thing. Let's call these guys the, oh, oh, the. Stallions, I thought that bar burned down. God damn. I thought I burned down.

Barb and I sure burned it down. I'm trying to think of these guys, the natural-born delegators. There's another thing we might as well put out here. If Jim Harbaugh did not know about this and did not suspect it, at least some of it, and this is a little bit, Jim, it's a little bit Michigan, it's a little bit all of it, is the like, we hire the best. Of course we're getting the best information on what our opponents are doing, not because we're cheating, but because we're smarter.

we work harder than the rest of you also like so this guy was that good right like you just thought he was naturally cracking these codes and you were paying him 55 000 also you thought greg shiano was stupid mm-hmm yeah like that's that's a key thing in here everyone believed for that question that greg shiano wouldn't have changed his codes yeah which is hilarious yeah additionally there's there's this there's the the fun part where this is of the product organizationally of someone who was taking a shortcut because they weren't doing their work.

That's what this is. This is the guy's like, oh shit, I don't have anything for the staff meeting. Better hit Siki, we should lay out for the listener as well. It's not as if stealing signs

or looking at tape that you are given of an opponent is against the rules. The NCAA is not out here saying like, no, under no circumstances, Can you? And there are, like, Brent Venables is widely known to be somebody who during a game is very good at figuring out what the opponent's signals are attempting to do. And the, and the NCAA doesn't say like, no, this is like completely against the rules. It's just how you go about acquiring this information. And, and yeah, go ahead.

It has to be so goddamn irritating, just to be like, make him stop looking. Make him stop looking. And it was like, I'm in your head. I can see it. I have been asked a couple times about like, I guess generally why this advanced scouting thing is illegal. And like the original argument was it's a cost equalizing thing. We're like, yeah, Alabama could afford to send 10 scouts to every upcoming opponent's games. We're a small school school. And the funny part of that is like, since fucking when do we care about equitable competition based on who can afford what? yeah we do we do when we can like nibble at the edges like right because they don't

actually want to their goal is not actually to level the playing field their goal is to make themselves feel better right about having uh made a gesture it's like how we just banned like oh you can't do elaborate photos with recruits on campus that will solve everything their actual goal is not to equalize uh equalize terms between the schools their actual goal is to assuage themselves that they have done something so this is to use the photo thing here if if what we have read is true this is like of a michigan staffer was like you know what what if we published a yearbook of cool recruits every year honestly i to an extent i sympathize with connor stallions right like he's coming into this world where he's like i'm i'm coming

from outside of sports into sports i want to impress people i want to do a great job i want to become a football coach, right? I'm reading a lot of things into his ambitions, but like that seems to be, um, and that, that's a hard path, right? And he's working his ass off traveling around the country, apparently possibly on his own dime. Inside of training is not easy work. For not a lot of money. Crime requires hustle, you know? Some crime. Some crime does not. And like, you know, there's probably a scenario where he thinks like, I am just whooping ass going above and beyond. My boss likes me, whoever his boss might have been and now

entire skateboat for this whole thing. That fucking sucks. I don't think he'll end up being the intact because all right I have to this point

the scapegoat I do have an end game I think like I think I could see where this is going and it's not going to be a place Michigan fans like at all

okay and that's even if the NCAA really doesn't sort of come down hard on them which I don't think they will for reasons that I will also explain but this is to me

one of those moments where we should go ahead, take the needle and pop the bubble of the coach management cult because there are books written about this about what everyone can learn from coach management. These are the books that you see given to a thousand dads across the country, which are, hey, life's a lot like sports and here's why. Okay, do you know what happens when you take college football staffs and you bloat them to the point where they're all of these GAs and consultants and volunteers and you make them these big bulky organizations overnight and i think we've seen this at florida with billy napier that

one of the complaints is that man you got so many people you don't know what they're doing that is not only florida's problem it is impossible to take all of these like staffs and blow them up overnight over the past five years and know what anyone's doing like like this is very much the avenger scene where they go that guy over there he's he's playing space invaders i saw it right like that is that happens in big organizations the minute that like staff size goes over x whatever that is like 25 30 there are just people that you have to trust are doing what they're supposed to be doing and most of these guys are so busy that their oversight of this is negligible like it's just not possible the dude who is the biggest control freak in the business

probably doesn't know what everyone's doing and if nick sabin doesn't know what everyone's doing i for sure as hell could buy that jim harbaugh you know who is responsible for this ultimately I could also buy that he has no idea what those guys are doing. None. But I do think I know where this is going, and I think it's Harbaugh leaving. Why? Okay. Here's why.

Because one, every other... The tiniest bit of friction is why. Yeah, the tiniest bit of friction. Every other year we get the rumor that Harbaugh is looking at the NFL, which are legit and which interviews that he will show up for, and then, of course, immediately fuck up because he's a terrible interviewer. Which is very weird. He's very weird.

Last time how happened, if I recall correctly, it was because he wanted to tear down a museum on campus that a museum on campus that some blue-blooded old money family had built there to build a bowling alley for the players. Yeah. I really don't think I'm making. I might be conflating two stories, but I really don't think I'm making that up. At one point, he threatened to leave over a bowling alley. Yeah. additionally I do think like I think the desire to go back to the NFL is real if if for no other reason than the dude got to a Super Bowl and then lost it and now has to go to Thanksgiving every single year and have his brother sit across the table with that big ring on his hand and you might say man that sounds petty and cartoonish hi we're talking about football coaches and in particular talking about Jim Harbaugh you go but he loves Michigan I have no doubt of that but a football coaches love extends to their ego first and their alma mater second at best.

So I don't think, I think this is, this is an out, particularly if the NCAA wants to go ahead and even wrist slap Harbaugh, because as we've seen, even a wrist slap feels like a sledgehammer blow to Jim Harbaugh when it comes to dealing with anything NCAA related. Let's, let's counterpoint this ever so slightly. Okay. Number one, the friction that got Jim Harbaugh to Michigan in the first place was in professional football. He did not get along with management and ownership at the San Francisco 49ers, despite being extremely successful as a coach there.

Someone didn't get along with Jed York. Wow. Okay. Where is, like, what is the franchise where Jim Harbaugh is going to go and enjoy a frictionless existence? Nowhere. That man generates friction everywhere. That to me. But it's not here.

Yeah. But do you think there is. some part of Jim Harbaugh that understands that when you go to the NFL, the head coach, even at the New England Patriots, is not at the top of the food chain. And to some extent, at some college programs, including Michigan, it's a lot closer to that relationship. He wants three years. Give him three years. That's all he wants. I mean, I guess the way I see it, there's a very in a story where he took the job at his alma mater and restored them

to quite possibly a national title and then returns having restored this big part of his story he then returns to the line of work that he believes is worthy of him right? That's one version of the story. The other version is

running away from the NCAA and like I mean we're just Pete Carroll all over again. Yeah that's that is another one and and by the way like to me far more probable at the time than Pete Carroll because you know I thought Pete was good I thought Pete was settled and then Pete left but Pete also knew that there were going to be consequences coming not just to his legacy or whatever but that would compromise his ability to win at USC

yeah like everything Lane Kiffin had to deal with in terms of scholarship productions and this that and the other like that was what Pete Carroll was like oh I don't want to do that that sounds bad yeah and I think I mean to some extent you know who knows what the NCAA will do like I would bet on them doing something at this point. And if, like, if it's so big that, you know, the Big Ten is distributing evidence among teams and warning teams about each other and all that shit, like, that's a big fucking deal. To me, to me, the Big Ten communicating with Michigan State about it, that to me is a more alarming thing than the NCAA.

I don't know what the Big Ten can do to Michigan, tell them they're not, you know, eligible for the Big Ten title game or what have you, withholds some TV money or whatever. But that to me is more alarming than the NCAA. And the NCAA still might do a lot, right? And there's not only that, there's also this title team. There's a lot of guys leaving. Like, this is the year it was all building toward, right? Your quarterback's leaving.

You might have several under several other day, one day, two draft picks. Like, this is the team. If this one, um, the team. The team. The team, the team. Like, if everything sucks and fake cops are yelling at you all the time and you could instead I just go, like go get a couple months off of year as an NFL coach. Why not do that?

Again, we're saying, Ryan, your suggestion that they're not thinking this through is not incorrect, but also this is just like human nature. You know, you don't break up with your girlfriend because you think you're never going to have problems with this next one. But in the moment, it sure feels like it, right? Yes, yes. I guess what I'm curious about is at this point, like, If you are an owner and you're like, okay, Jim Harbaugh clash with Jed York, but maybe we can put that on Jed York.

Now, Jim Harbaugh had a lot of weird internal friction at Michigan, not necessarily to the same level and not necessarily like major, to a major problem status. There is something to like, is this just going to be a pain in the ass? So you're not so much saying why would Harbaugh want to leave. You're saying why would they want Harbaugh? I think I think if the goal is to find like a good. partnership. I think there are things on both side of this that make that tricky. You know, it's really funny, though? There's like, there's this whole other thing where it's like, man, the Ravens are so good right now. That guy's brother is available. How much of that,

how much of that do you think is pushing this? I, I honestly, I think Harb, I think a lot. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to stuff in a different direction before I had a, I don't think, Ryan, I'm not saying you're wrong. I am saying, but what I, about the NFL owners, what I do think is that each and every one of these guys, because of where they are, because of the position they are in, sorry, two ladies, whatever, uh, sorry, ladies, because of the position they're in, because of the amount of wealth they've accumulated and because of the operation they built around them, uh, they all think they're built different. They all, they, if they want, if they want Jim Harbaugh, they will construct a scenario

for themselves and do their best by throwing money at it to make it manifest in the real world where they can make this work for them. Oh, the Broncos run and Sean Payton. They were like, this will just fix everything. This will, everything's going to be awesome. And it worked. It worked, Ryan.

Yeah, it's going really great. I love watching it. Ryan, I think you're right that like irrational NFL owner would need to do some serious soul searching for making this decision. And there might be four or five of those. No. I mean, just to remember, to clarify his relationship globally.

I mean, let's think about guys we otherwise think we respect. Let's talk about Khan. Yeah. Who'd he hire? Doug Peterson. That's right. Super Bowl winner, Doug Peterson. Jim Harbaugh is all elite.

Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I have a weird... Let's do it. I have like a weirdly protective streak for Doug Peterson like he's my three-legged dog. Same. I'm like, don't laugh at him. He brings his player's ice cream.

The Jaguar's actually. actually look pretty good this is. I know. People really like Doug, you know? Like if Jason Kelsey likes somebody, I'm like, oh, they gotta be pretty good. Jason Kelsey is like this fucking great guy, Doug Peterson. You get fired? Yeah, great dude though.

If you run into an asshole in the morning, then you ran into an asshole. But if you run into assholes all day, you're Jim Harbaugh. That's him at every organization. There we go. And I am using his language. And it's probably worse in the NFL because he doesn't even have to worry about being likable in recruiting. That's, you know, that's, I'm sure it's terrible. terrible but I think that's still on the table for him and if he's got all these aggravating

nagging factors at Michigan you know and he already wanted to leave then that's a great time for everybody to sort of part ways yeah okay that's I am I am mostly interested at this point to see what if anything the Big Ten is going to do because the NCAA is slow moving and fairly toothless at this point I do think that part of what they are trying to do to the extent that they are behind leaks is kind of like I think the NCAA is not happy with how things went with Tess Walker and UNC like Mac Brown like cutting promos on you multiple times calling you opposing team opposing teams fans chanting to have him put like they've got that happening and even they put out this press release that was like we got yelled at

like every elected official in the state of Virginia is like have we we will burn the NCAA to Have you guys seen the statement that the Virginia Senate pro tem president put out? Yeah. And it was both parties. Right. Yeah. Right. You've united fucking Virginia.

They've gone to Congress and Ted Cruz has been mean to them, which didn't seem like like. Congratulations to the Texas Rangers, by the way. I think this is a very easy way for the NCAA to be like, aha, sometimes we are still powerful. Sometimes we can still scare you And I think that's a little bit of it But this dick still wiggles But like so much of this is so clearly caught up in It does a swing but it twitches

The thing that makes this I think different from like a recruiting scandal Is that when recruiting scandals happen Most of the other teams involved in the conference or in the nation are sort of like We're not necessarily going to push too hard on this because we know our dirt We know that we have our own skeletons and there is a little bit of mutually assured destruction. We are not really interested in getting into an all-out war, except in extreme cases. When you have a team where you're like, okay, they're dropping so many bags, so sloppily, so plentifully that, like, we feel this breaches that.

The rest of the Big Ten seems very pissed right now and very eager to, like, get a pound of flesh. and it's not just to put this in unkind terms it's not just like Purdue and Maryland who are like this isn't okay what happened wasn't wasn't fine here Ohio State is pissed Ohio State is very clearly pissed Penn State is probably pissed like I am interested to see if this reaches a point I don't know if it's there yet where the Big Ten feels like we have to step in and do something I think Washington should demand that Michigan be kicked up. So, like, let's keep in mind here that just a few years ago, the Big Ten, yes, the Big Ten changed its rules during the season so that Ohio State could go to the conference title game.

They are not above changing the rules so that Ohio State can go to the conference title game. Again, perhaps. Yeah, it is a delight to me when people get very. That would be funnier than Michigan winning the title. That would be so fucking real. And then the playoff committee can say, okay, You're both going to the playoffs. The Big Ten, I assume, is very much hoping that unless this case completely turns around,

that, like, Michigan doesn't present a problem. I think they would be happier if Ohio State or Penn State made, one the East. So Michigan, drop one to Indiana or whoever. No, you're right. Not Indiana. We can never remember. Maryland? Maryland.

I don't know. Drop. I mean, like, drop a really bad. Maryland. Yeah, Maryland. There we go. Just drop something terrible. And then, like, oh, look, see, clearly we weren't.

and shit. I know then it looks like, oh, you're without your security. You didn't have what you need this. Actually, yeah, now I think about it, you better win more now. There were three teams. There were three teams that they did not scout, and I want to know who they were. Two, yeah, yeah. All right, now we got to play a different kind of scheduled game. Let's go. I don't think that's true, because the other thing that came out in the most recent report about Connor Stallions is that for he had purchased tickets. And again, all of this is like, all of this is based on. Oh, Stallions Wilders. he was buying this stuff on he was buying tickets on stub hub and seat geek and then just sending them and this is all very traceable is it is it perhaps just two west opponents they haven't played in the last couple years i looked and i don't think there are that many of those either but because he bought tickets to ohio state penn state on both sides like it seems like they probably have scouted everybody they just sort of figured out like oh we can save on travel by making sure we go get yeah you see coach i'm feeling illinois iowa when they play one another Yes, but then I'll put it in my personal name, so it's very traceable because my op-sec fucking sucks.

Because I won't. So that's the part of this that like, it's so disappointing that Michigan, you've cheated in this. You have such a rich war history, and this is what, it may also be in its own way an equalizer, because if you, if you have not spent, there is, there are a few great truisms that. that resonate across every college athletic program, no matter the size. And I'm saying this with all the love and affection that we cover the United States Marine Corps with. The GA room is a fucking Muppet Baby's Ward. No, I mean this. And I mean this with all, I mean this with absolute all, all love.

It is like a room full of large dogs who are. sent on errands to do things and they you know they sleep in piles and they pee on everything and but like think about how old these people are and think about what you were doing at that age first of all yeah yeah yeah peeing on things yeah like this is sleeping sleeping wherever like literally like just i sleep on the ground today oh i slept on surfboard again yeah yeah porpoises this is this is i dislocated my shoulder because i fell asleep face down in a beambag it happens age but

this is it might hurt Michigan more to have everybody know that their GAs are just like everybody else's GAs sure

yeah I mean what the fuck do you all them war books for if you don't know how like so much affection there's going to be

some Michigan man who defends this like this is actually an example of the British hiding in plain sight strategy I thought that's

they slipped through Rutgers ticket window like the swamp Fox. Oh, that's what they should have done. They should have been like, actually, we were all doing this to show you the holes in your security. And we meant no harm whatsoever. Now I'm just, now I'm just imagining one of them sitting alone in a section in the stands, but wearing a gilly suit and remaining perfectly motionless. I just, how not to be seen. The gilly suit, the gillie

suit. Listen, if, okay. A blue and yellow gillie suit. Yes, it's blue like a pomp, You're not cool or clever enough. Oh, my God, he made it out of palm. He made it out of the shakers that they put in the student section. Ohio State fans, here's what one of you needs to do. Y'all, if you think I'm telling jokes, you haven't not met enough GAs. You need to take a gilly suit, paint it blue and yellow, and sit there with binoculars in the stands during the game, okay? Because that would be funny.

You won't do it for... But not during the Michigan, not during the Ohio State Michigan game, during another Ohio State. During another Ohio State game. Right? Yeah. To drive the point home, take a Michigan hat, and put it on over the gilly suit, okay? God, the Stanford band would go full mission impossible with this. Oh, God.

We need them. They lowered the tree in by helicopter. That's ACCC Legends, Stanford, unfortunately. The best part of all this is, the other question I've seen is like, why don't they just put fucking speakers in the quarterback's helmet like a normal sport? work and it's like and we're back to why don't they put chips in the fucking ball like yeah yeah there's so many little things we could have done

a decade ago but then we wouldn't have this I know that's what I'm saying is true and the other funny thing Chris Vinini wrote it about it a couple days ago about the Big Ten is actually experimenting in ball games they were doing they were already planning to experiment with this exact thing

yeah now you see you want to do something impressive intercept that signal. That's real Siggint. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want to be a, you're such a smart school. Now is produced time. Now is produced time to fucking shine. Um, the worst thing about this for some portion of Michigan. There's no bad part of this. No, there will be for some Michigan. Oh, for them. Yes. Okay. And that's going to be this. That's going to be the shadow. Because when you have a specific player who you violated recruiting regulations to get or you have a coach who was persistently violating off, you know, off-field rules in some way,

you can kind of quarantine it. You can kind of say, like, here is the result of the violation that we caused. But this is, like, so amorphous, and it permeates so many games of the Jim Harbaugh turnaround that it will just hang there. And it's so instant. Like the other thing about a recruiting scandal is like it might take three, four, five years before you learn whether it even mattered or not at that point. Who cares? This is like we're talking about shit that could have happened in the past three to ten days. Right. Right. Right. And whether fairly or not, it's going to cast a shadow on everything Michigan has done for the last two plus years. And some schools wouldn't care about that. If this. This happened at Auburn, Auburn fans wouldn't care. They'd be like, I don't care if we cheated.

We beat Bama. If this happened to Bama, they wouldn't care. There is a certain kind of Michigan fan who is going to care. And Jim Harbaugh might be that kind of Michigan fan as part of the problem. Is the idea that victory is tainted or compromised or illegitimate in some way is going to link. It just is. It's going to drive him mad. Yeah.

Like, like, we're past drive driven crazy. He's going to, we're going to drive him old school mad. It's like he's going to have to live in an attic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a project novel. He's going to have bats flying around him and shit. Yeah. Especially because this is not the team like, like they've run the ball 2295 times and they've passed 196 times.

This is the kind of team where they go, well, we have advanced knowledge of the team's defense. Do you know who's not going to care? Jim Harbaugh. Jim will be like, we'll run in this anyway. carefully like here's the kind of front they're lining in coach and he's like attack like that's this is not this is not the most i'm not saying they're not sophisticated but when you run the ball like they do the level of knowledge you have to have about fronts and coverage is it's not quite as important but none of that matters because this is a world where outcome has no bearing

on wrongdoing right like we have seen the nc they're completely both things are going to happen but they're completely decoupled from one another. The UNC football team that I think Butch Davis was the coach of that got hammered for some recruiting, blah-b-de-blah. Yeah. Was a bad team. Like, you don't have to be good. You don't have to show like, oh, well, clearly you benefited from this, and this is the

advantage that it created for you. It is just, it's all traffic court. It's all like the number said this and you were doing this plus seven. and that's all it and it doesn't matter if you were by yourself and it doesn't matter if you like it didn't cause any harm to anybody else no it's all traffic court and that's the system that has been very important to a lot of michigan people that's the system that's certainly been important to jim hard that's the other part it's like in the same way that hugh freeze well part of his downfall was based on the if you know please send a email to

sir uh-huh you're you invited it you invited it yes when you build yourself up as like not only do i follow the rules i care about the rules deeply more than other people when when it goes this way it it feels different yeah just feels different and that's just not just hardball that's no big 10 i'm i want to be specific I'm not saying that's all coaches I'm saying no that's Harbaugh and his town and his university and his conference and then it's also

all these others I believe you just said that it means more to them oh goodness because you know what actually means more is winning fucking football games no one will ever say you care less than the SEC we all know you care exactly as much

often when it comes to financials more than yes you care more than the SEC Big Ten I think we should also acknowledge that there are some winners in all of this number one ohio state this is great for you like finally you get to have a day in michigan's best year where the the tables get to flip one a is godfrey uh one a is godfrey somewhere on this list clemson i'm sorry to say it with our friend michael server here but like clemson just lost to a maybe fine Miami team

starting their backup and nobody gives a shit because the michigan story is like the main the main topic of discussion. Michigan State bumped down the scandal list for a few minutes. Yeah, the Hitler thing still happened, Michigan State. Oh, sorry, update. It took us an hour to get to it. You're right. You're right. Do we have an update? Yeah, we'll keep

talking. I'll get it. Oh, so is this about how the... No, no, no, no, hang on. It's a very short update. Okay. I have a thought on that update once we get to it. First of all, they suspended the... They suspended the employee who put the who put the trivia thing that employee's name

Connor Stallions Conner Stallions We need to come up with him He's everywhere The we need to come up with another name for that guy Stoner Callians I like Omar Scalions

It's called him Omar Scalions Future Auburn staffer Because I guarantee you by the way Conor Stallions is getting some sort of black back job All right sorry here we go This is sent to us by Reader Hockey Bear As always the Dutch YouTube quiz creator

has denounced Michigan State in the comments. And here it is. Here it is the quiz channel himself. To be clear, I was unaware Michigan State University is using my content for stadium entertainment

and this was unsolicited and unauthorized use, a random history trivia question in an inappropriate setting. Do you know, by the way? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, consider the alternative. You got dutched.

Consider the alternative where this YouTuber is like, oh no, Michigan state legal came to me and got a license to me. That's way worse. It could have been worse, guys. Do you know how out of pocket? They said, can you add a Hitler question for you? With Spock's cool, but Hitler's more of what we want our audience to get. Do you know how out of pocket you have to be for a Dutch YouTuber to be like, yeah, that's not PC. Yeah, that person seems obscene shit. Yeah. That person would know a little bit about proper places to reference warlords of

World War II. Yeah, yeah. This is their expertise. It's summer. Major League Baseball is in full swing and there's one app for you if you want last minute deals on Major League Baseball games. And that's game time.co. That's right, gametime.co. I'm looking at the app right now and I'm picking out America's team really. The Kansas City Royals and at Kaufman Stadium just in a couple days, there's tickets available for $16. And then, well, I don't want to up the stakes too much here, but let's go to next week. It looks like they're playing the Chicago White Sox. There are tickets available right now

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code F-U-L-L-C-A-S-T for $20 off. Download game time today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. I, you know who else this is good for? Like, really good for? It's great for James Franklin. Which, bless his heart, he could use some. He could use a break.

Because life is nothing but good for James Franklin. And at every point, timing has benefited him from the start. I got so sort of heated. upset, confused watching Penn State give absolutely nothing during the Ohio State games. It was angry, confused. It was like a toddler. I felt like a toddler with an earache. Right.

Like I couldn't make what he was doing stop, and I couldn't explain it. Yes. And I had no power in the situation whatsoever to avert or change this very confusing thing. Um, you watching them do nothing. It goes, like, how did we get here? That made me just sort of wonder, okay. Why are you doing this? The Penn State fans assumed that we weren't going to do this today.

We're just going to stop. Why? Why would they assume that? This is not on a swivel. I hold this knife in my hand at all times. There are no surprises. I understand. Okay.

The times when Spencer doesn't pretend to be nicer than the rest of us are rare, but they do happen. I did want to go through and just sort of like, like, tally up the remarkable and charmed life of James Franklin and how we got to this point and how this man has managed to build an entire $10 million a year empire based off of a life. time of beating the uh the like pre mark stoop's renaissance kentuckies and uh and bad rutgers teams of the world okay all right yes this is how he's done it okay um if you'll remember this guy was the was known at maryland as a recruiter no one no one no one really said hey that's the guy you should put in charge of shit they were like no this guy's an awesome recruiter okay okay but

who did they who who did they take and pass over him to give the Maryland job to after they can, Ralph FreeZone. We'll get to that. Okay, I have to preface this. Because I think a lot of you have forgotten where he went after his first Maryland stint, which is... I don't...

He was the offensive coordinator for Ron Prince at K-State from 06 to 07. A pair of princes shall lead them. Yes. And his best offense there was 18th in terms of scoring. That's pretty good. They went 5 and 7 anyway,

and everyone got fired. And he went back to Maryland. Not just got fired. Dad had to unretire. Dad had to unretire and we had to do some accounting like some digging into the accounting. Dad who had made some of the bitterest quotes I've ever seen on record against a coach's former program. But he did remember that Ron Prince did reinstitute the power towel, okay? Which forever will live in our hearts.

And yes, we get to Maryland, his second tenure where he's with Fridge and he's the O.C. And two out of three years, they're pretty bad. they get to like 29th in terms of total scoring in 2010 but again when james franklin has a good offense as a coordinator everyone gets fired anyway and at that point he was overlooked for the job and this is the one point where you go to james man you've got a point uh he was overlooked for the maryland gig in favor of randy edsel but he said it was his dream yes his his dream gig to go to Maryland. He then takes the Vandy job.

At Vandy, how many ranked teams did he beat when he was at Vandy? I don't know, probably like three or four. I'm not saying he did a bad job at Vandy. He definitely raised the floor at Vandy. Do you not know? You're just speculating wildly? I only ask questions, counselor, if I already know. He's only there for three years, so give me a second.

I'll find out. No, no, no, no. I know it. Oh, you do. I do. It's the rest of us. I am leading you because they beat, when he was at Vandy, he won one game against ranked competition.

Against the team ranked at the time of the game. Yes. Number 15 Georgia in 2013. And eight and five Georgia team in 2013. That's the Georgia team. It doesn't matter. Is that the team that lost the Independence Bowl? To Nebraska.

On the one hand, any time Vandy beats Georgia, that is something. And it was in the gate bowl. Also, like, look, look, look, I get what you're trying to do here. And in some weird way, I appreciate it. But when you go five and three and four and four in conference play at Vanderbilt, like, a thing that lots of good coaches have struggled to do, I just like, or me, even not even good coaches, lots of coaches have struggled to do. Period. If Bobby Johnson struggled to do it, right? And I think Bobby Johnson is a really good coach.

This is without a doubt James Franklin's best job. I am also saying the thing that you have seen at Penn State, and which we will outline here shortly of against good competition, we butt our heads against the ceiling and our refused admission. That happens. I think it's just about the best job anyone has done at modern Vandy, and you can stretch the word modern almost as far back, almost the century, right? And also it was a really great time to do that best job.

Oh, yeah. Yes. There, yes. Market conditions were favorable. This is another running, or another running gag here, that market conditions, every time the market has to talk to James Franklin, it comes up and whispers sweet nothings in his ear and speaks kindly to him. Sell. Yeah, exactly. So then they make, so then, then he makes the jump to Penn State. Let's just go ahead and review the numbers about where we get here. We get here despite all of this. We get here, despite the record against ranked opponents being 12 and 24, all right, lifetime at Penn State. He is 12 and 24. It gets worse if you ratchet up that ladder and go against top 10 teams. James Franklin is 3 and 16 against top 10 teams lifetime at Penn State. And, yeah, 4 and 15 against the Twin Towers of Ohio State and Michigan.

We will stop falling for the Penn State might be consistently better than either of those teams. I think when the heat death of the universe ensues and or James Franklin finally leaves this program. But it's just not happening. Like part of my anger when I was like, man, this is such a shit job. I cannot believe they looked this bad against Ohio State. I should have. I should have. Because at no point have they done anything to really sort of dissuade me from thinking that,

particularly against Ohio State, if not for fucking 2016, when one, One block field goal against Ohio State keeps the entire narrative of maybe James Franklin's going to turn this thing around and make this a top tier team. Life is funny, isn't it? Within his own division, right? I think the thing is he has raised Penn State to such a level of consistent, really goodness that it's easy to believe the Big Ten East is a big three when it's actually a Big Two. Never making the turn. This is also, these are also almost exactly the same things we used to say about Jim Harbaugh before Michigan. started stealing signals and cheating and got really good.

But like this is very much the way people talked about Jim Harbaugh, which is like, sure, you can get nine or ten wins a season, but then when it really comes down to it, you can't win the big game, you can't beat the big dogs. Like, you're just not, you're just not ever going to take us to the next level. Yeah, but Jim Harbo's in year nine. And we kind of got there with Harbaugh on what, year seven, where we go, okay, maybe, maybe you're serious about this, okay? We're in year nine of the Franklin regime, and it's not changing. If anything, you know, it's plateaued. I don't think it's getting worse, but I think this is as good as you're going to get. The other thing that interested me when I went, okay, well, surely this is, you know, we've raised the floor and we're putting more people in the NFL, right?

Like as a selling point, you know, how many people are we putting in the NFL? Not that you're responsible as a college coach for that, but it is a point on the resume that you like to cite when you say you should come here because X. It's also a very big tent thing. Yes. We've improved your professional. It's also an extremely Penn State thing to cite hilariously. Yes. 46 players have been drafted under Franklin.

31 are currently in the NFL. Let's just compare that to his peers. And I don't just mean Michigan, which 45 current Michigan players in the NFL, by the way, to the 31 currently for Penn State. Auburn has 32. And over that same span of time. And Auburn didn't recruit for like. three years. Auburn didn't even recruit.

Yeah, they just phone that shit in, right? So Auburn is Penn State's peer, you're saying? In recruiting, yes. They have played multiple times recently. Texas, another program that has, we would argue, has frittered away a national treasure, a franchise worth of talent. Texas is currently sitting with 36 players active in the NFL on rosters. And Texas has been a garbage fire of administrative mismanagement over the better part

of James Franklin's tenure there. The one that kicked my ass, the one that I thought was the funniest, the one that confirms that sometimes there's a widget shop that only makes that widget, and you can only go there for said widget. With 40 currently active

players in the NFL, the Iowa Hawkeyes, Trump, Penn State's record on NFL talent. Yeah, but 30 are tight ends. That is correct. That is what I mean. Like Iowa is, Iowa has become that German company that's like, yeah we need to make the chicken annihilator

it's his terrible machine that takes the live chicken and turns it into a paste that could be made into chicken nuggets and no one is everyone's too horrified to make it and the parents family is like yeah we'll do that we're good wow okay so now what

this all comes down to how on earth did we get locked into this guy for a 10 year deal a 10 a 10 year extension it's a good guy to be locked into Like, they win 10 games every year. That's awesome.

They do not win 10 games every year. They win 10 games. They do, they do sprinkle. This isn't an arguable point. So, like, I think one part of it is there is a top tier in the Big Ten. It has been established. It is clear. There is a top tier, and Penn State is just below it, right?

And that's a deeply frustrating place to be. Like, you're not Wisconsin where everyone knows you're overachieving whenever Wisconsin gets to this level, right? Penn State, you have championship memories, or at least you have seen footage of your championships. Like, you have this sense that you're in the top tier, but it's just clear that you're just not, right? But you're the team that has to play the top tier every single year, both parts of it, right? There are two reasons why this isn't going to matter anymore. One, the Expand of Big Ten, they're not playing Ohio State and Michigan next day. They don't have any assigned rivals, which is the,

best Penn State news in, I don't even, since the Rose Bowl or whatever. Right. The second thing is when we move to the 12-team playoff, Penn State is the exact kind of team that's going to benefit for this. Constantly, yeah. And like that alone is going to change the point of view, the judgment of James Franklin. It's just going to be like, well, he's made the playoffs five years in a row. I mean, the realignment thing.

Penn State goes from nine or ten wins to ten or eleven wins simply thanks to the realignment thing. I would argue they're going to find someone else new to lose to regularly. I don't know who it's going to be that James Franklin will find a way, but it won't matter because you are so locked into this dude just by virtue of, you know, every third year he's going to win 11 games, right? Like, we trash Kirk Farrants for this. I think there's a model that James Franklin has figured out will work every single year, and y'all are stuck if you want better. But the alternative, like you are a Florida fan, I am a Florida fan.

The alternative is not necessarily better. The alternative is cocaine spikes, baby, and lows. Like, we have coaches at USC, Texas A&M that we're supposed to be like, oh, this is the guy who can get us to the next level. And the results are statistically the same or slightly worse. I think firing Mark Rick for Kirby Smart is the exception that proves the rule. Correct. If you have a coach that wins 10 games a year, fucking keep him. Yes.

I know right now there's a lot of Penn State fans who if we hear James Franklin Rivers they would say good finally about fucking time right but right now is a difficult bruised moment we're just going to put our thumb on that bruise a little bit more here hold on so because it's never getting better but it's not going to get much worse I really didn't expect this episode to be way meaner to Penn State than Michigan but here we are yeah Michigan's only college football podcast against my will once again Yeah, when you, when you decide your game plan is, we'll nibble our way to glory with Drew Aller, I get angry. I understand, I understand.

Because that's loser shit. Can I ask, can I ask a follow-up question of that? Sure. Does Penn State, like, looking back at the Ohio State game, yes, Marvin Harrison, Jr. is a revelation. Cade Stover also made some, like, great contested catches in that game. Does Penn State have a guy this year who's like, oh, this is the dude, we can, do they have somebody who it's like, yeah, can throw it up and we're confident he will fight for the ball and go get it no and franklin to his own admission wasn't going to do that i just kind of have beef with you not even featuring your running backs

like both of their running backs those are the best guys on the offensive side of the ball and you're an offensive guy allegedly and you give them each nine fucking carries okay nine and you go well you're oh ohio state's defense is really good against the run how would i know how would i know you threw the ball 42 goddamn times with a dude who basically by design you admitted we're going to count on him to win the game, even though he can't win the game for us. That's it. You were, you were attempting to belly crawl your way to victory against a team that was sprinting past you. I'm sorry, you wanted, you wanted to put the thumb on the bruce tomorrow. Oh yeah, no, I'll do that, you know, because again, also, you're not going anywhere because as Jason said, yeah, you're

probably going to win the same amount of games. And you might even ratchet up now that you're getting out of that permanent like Oklahoma drill with Michigan and Ohio State every year that you could consistently lose, right? And yeah, you will get to the playoff more, even though, hey, you're 3 and 16 against top 10 teams, that's going to be a blowout every single time you end up in the playoff. You might upset one of them, but on the whole, you're going to win like 10%. You're going to win 10% of those games, Ryan, there's numbers. What if you get a, what if you play Notre Dame, huh?

Huh? Huh? What do you play Notre Dame? You're going to be. Yeah, maybe. Maybe if you catch that TCU team. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. See, we're talking Penn State.

We're talking like, okay, you can't, you can't clocking. at one, two, three, or four, right? You've been five, right? You've been really close. Yeah. We're aiming for that second tier where you're going to face, I mean, you might fucking face the mid-major champ, right? You still, you're still.

You beat that team. There was one year where that Penn State Memphis, that might have been a playoffs, a playoff quarterfinal. That's true. They wouldn't win that. Would they have? I mean, like, I don't know. They did.

They did. They did win. I mean, I don't like the numbers. I don't. Okay. But they happened. You know, they can't happen. I just don't think it's real probable year in and year out, especially this is it.

You go, well, how good are we going to be? And they're like, well, it depends on who we draw. That's not, if you want it to be in the upper tier, that's not the question, right? Who are Penn States? I mean, I don't expect a list, but like, who are Penn State's top ten opponents that aren't Ohio State in Michigan? Like, I would have to look those up. Yeah. The teams that they've played and lost two?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would have to go back and look that. up and if you was like a road game against Iowa in there or whatever or whatever you know that type of shit but they've been pretty good I would be interested to see that list not to not to say like you shouldn't um expect to compete with those teams but also like if you're doing much better against the teams that uh you were favored against you know that might change things for me yeah I the last thing is this is current buyout Dude has a $64.67 million buyout, which, as a side note, Kirby's is $92 million. Just soak in the fact that there's a college coach out there with a $92 million buyout. That they're never going to exercise. Never.

Like, I cannot think of a circumstance where you would ever actually see that number in play. It's a fiction. But still, goddamn, $92 million. How do we get some? There are a couple of Michigan State teams that are in that top 10 in like 2015, 2014. I think Wisconsin is top 10 when they face them in the Big 10 championship. When they beat them in the Big Ten championship, yes. They lost to USC in the Rose Bowl that year.

USC was number nine. I am continuing to look. Yeah. But on, so in September of 2021, if you want to go like important moments that will lock you into this for the next decade. In September of 2021, James French, Franklin makes a critical roster decision by switching reps to CAA and Jimmy Sexton. In October 23rd, 2021, Penn State and James Franklin, after rumors that he's going to take the vacant USC job that Clay Hilton lost, they announce a 10-year extension, 10 years. If you want to know how you ended up here, that's how you ended up here.

At every single moment, I think you should just take James Franklin's entire career as the model of how to do it. You need friends who are going to spread good rumors for you. You need a fantastic agent. You need somebody to block a field goal for you. And you need to be like just good enough. Be just good enough to take everybody to like the next tier. And don't worry about getting to like the S tier. That's fine.

It's good to be really good. Is this Gus Malzahn at Auburn? There are a lot of differences there. but is there some element of like I don't know if you can compare anything to Auburn one-to-one and because Gus beat Bama regularly? No, I was going to say because the administration there is so volatile that I feel like it colors everything it touches, right?

Well, I mean, so we think about the move Auburn has made since and how many times that people have thought, well, you could have just kept Gus, right? Right. Even though you wanted rid of Gus real bad. and Gus hit various ceilings there's a scenario where Penn State is happy to be rid of Franklin and everyone thinks

well you should have just kept Franklin which could completely happen and that that fear is one of the things that will keep him there for a really long time that's one reason to keep him yeah one reason to keep him the alternative's going to be worse over

here's just kind of a random step But, like, over the past five years, I didn't think about which number of years is five. As a favorite, Penn State wins 84% of the time, which might sound either good or bad. But the teams that's better then, Auburn, Oklahoma, LSU, Ole Miss, Tennessee. Oh, Old Miss? USC, A&M, Texas. That makes sense because I think Old Miss is not favored in a lot of the games. Yeah, that would make sense.

They lost to Bama. it's like, yeah, Bama was favorite. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, I'm saying Penn State as a favorite is relatively quite reliable. Yeah, I think you get to that point where they're reliably here. You can't see listener, but, you know. Yeah, but how realistic is it? How realistic is it to like constantly be constantly, you know.

It would be realistic to want more. Like I was thinking like. No, but there's a structural thing going on here, which I don't know that James Franklin can control. Right. Like, there are, what is the last conference that had three really awesome teams? There are conferences that will have two. There's those years where you're like, Stanford and Oregon are so good in the PAC 12 and USC sucks and UCLA sucks and Washington sucks. Like, it's, you're seeing it in the PAC 12 now where it's sort of like, it's really, really hard to have three awesome teams at the same time.

I'm thinking of that you can't do it. like that Bama, Georgia Mansell A&M year, right? Like, it's just, I think, I think there is inevitably a bronze medalist that by virtue of being third, everybody is like, well, you just can't get it done. But I think these things are structured and because of the way conferences are structured and the way the playoff is structured right now, like in the NFL, if you're a wild card team, nobody cares. Nobody's like, oh, I'm so mad we didn't win the NFC South. If you get in the playoffs, it's fine. Who gets a shit? But like the way it's shaping up now, it's like this game matters.

Losing to Ohio State matters so much. Matters so much more than anything else, with the exception of the Michigan game, that Penn State can do the rest of the year. It's a different, yeah, it's the scale of the math changes there, right? It's like what Spencer was saying a few months ago about the effort in trying to get to S tier. You know, it takes, it takes half of your energy to get from zero to 90 on a hundred point scale. And the other half of your energy is getting from 90 to 100. And that's, that's something that I think we as the public don't really recognize enough.

Administrations definitely don't seem to seem to heed that math, but. There's also all these like weird timing things that have to line up that like, well, we're, everybody wants to, until it happens to them, and we only, we generally only talk about it in terms of going undefeated, everybody wants to discount luck. Yes, sure. Because we can't monetize it and because we can't put a stat on it. You know, you analytics kids, but the amount of, they're still, because of these huge moving parts and these huge organizations and well, and you know snap snapping ACLs and grades and hurricanes there's still so much of this huge sprawling sport that we cannot control we cannot control for yeah and some of it is just sort of like you have to take good guesses right and every and you know every year all of it is going to hit somebody right right and you're going to say oh you can't get it done and I think I guess where I land is sort of like

I struggle to identify who will do this better at Penn State. Yeah, this is always, this is something else that people, I think we're good at being this drama. I think split zone duo is good at being this drum. I don't think there's many other people, especially in decision-making positions that are in charge of beating this drum. But the second, you start to think about getting rid of a coach, the absolute first question has to be, and it's not usually, but it has to be for who?

Yeah, but if I'm giving you, if I say, here is your team and you have to win a very important game a very important game that he's not an answer right what if it's about building a team to win an important game if I have to build a team to win an important game and you don't get first choice

you don't get to choose Sabin you don't get to choose Kirby yeah that's the thing none of these choices are happening none of these choices are happening in a vacuum and you've got for it we haven't even talked about the ever-growing specter of the CIA Death Star having their own hand in this.

Oh, boy, entirely. There's an entire other army of different orcs over to put it in terms that our audience will understand hiding over this hill that have not even made their faces shown yet. Also, I want to go back to. Not just not orcs. They're the, I was trying to do the third day of Lord of the Rings and that's not orcs. In all fairness, if you had asked me back in 2021, would you hire Lincoln, Riley, or James Franklin to take the USC job?

brother you know i would have chosen lincoln rile i would have been like yeah man that's hot i had not put money on lincoln riley becoming as irritating as james frank i mean if you made that choice now who would you take is i don't know yeah is out scrinch coming is the grink there i know who i trust to hire a defensive coordinator a lot more and that's james franklin because uh who's who's lincoln once uh once caleb leaves that was such a good country it ain't fitting i mean i if independent of who's transferring with the coach i might take franklin over riley god i might too and i don't like how that makes me feel oh so we're trying to make everyone happy here trying to give usc a defense and penn state we're trying to get you a new coach

you want a new coach there you go everyone's happy i think there is also a sorry ryan there is also maybe like a slight way to twist the top ten games thing Penn State doesn't get dominated in those games Penn State doesn't get just destroyed in most of those games Michigan State argument losing with dignity

no I think it's important I think it's important because like it at least shows me that like the distance between where they are and what you're talking about is shorter than at some other places. Spencer, you don't think context matters in a loss? It's very, it matters. It matters. I just did want to point it out too. So I think over the past, last seven non-COVID

seasons, assuming this season becomes a 10-1 season for Penn State, they'll be averaging 10 wins a year. 10 wins a year, a couple breaks. That is what almost every program should be hoping for. It's also like, look, UNC just lost to a previously not very good UVA team. And Penn State doesn't have a lot of those. And like I know, I know just like eating your meal properly and not spilling it all over your lap is not something you get a lot of credit for. But it's not something every team can do. Right.

This is a very, by the way, that's an interesting, that's an interesting comparison to bring up. Because this is a very Mac Brownish record. Yes. Yes. And you know what? On a long enough timeline, Mac Brown won a national title of Texas. He needed a, like, transcendent talent to get to it.

But most people do. Yeah. Yes, right. And so, like, maybe it is, you know, I think back to, like, the 2000 Oklahoma team that had that amazing run of injury luck where they, like, had, like, two starter games missed all season or something. And, like, maybe that is the kind of thing that will have to happen for James

Franklin to break through. Maybe it will have to be the dominoes fell in the right way this season. I don't know. And see, I don't think that takes away, I don't think that takes away from anybody because the dominoes have to file the right way for everybody. That's true for every single team. Yes, but I will, to weirdly defend Spencer here, I think there are some coaches who can bend to less ideal circumstances better than others. Like, look, the fact that Alabama still only has one loss after the way the team things to be seen things seem to be going is i think a credit to the coaching staff of figuring out like we are learning more about what this is not the exact team we would like to have in all circumstances we are learning what to do with it to make it

work if georgia had to play a high state every year georgia would need breaks how do i know that they needed one to start this calendar year yes yeah clock struck midnight right right right Yeah, that is, I also have the nightmare of this that James Franklin gets that transcendent talent, and then he forgets how many timeouts he has in the fourth quarter or takes an intentional safety at the wrong time. I think maybe the parallel I like now is this feels a little bit like Clemson when things were really rolling, but you're in the Big Ten instead of the ACC when it was super down. And you don't have a transcendent quarterback.

That's the one thing. Yes, sure, which has also been a major issue for Clemson now. That to me is the valid critique, right? Yeah. I'm sorry, sir, but we're talking so much about Clemson. You know, we're not talking about, we're not talking about the Eagles, putting the fucking whoop on the dolphins. That's what?

What the fuck, man? Slam on dolphins out of nowhere. This was a pro-marine mammal episode. we've had so much positive Dolphins talk until now Ryan you want to Well you shouldn't have played the fucking birds How confident are you in your fills tonight

Ryan you want to fuck with the people we just People you want to fuck with the creatures we just made Guardians of our system of justice I apologize Ryan people are going to hear this after we know how your Phillies did It's important to know that I am an Eagles fan A third party Phillies observer

And I have nothing The Phillies thing is new No I like I think the Phillies are fun, but are you voting, are you voting present? Yes, I was assigning you all Philadelphia fandums. And this is the most important thing. It's only a funny and not funny in baseball because he's a Mets fan. I have nothing to do.

You got to leave him with the Mets. That's true. You already have NL. Eastily. What fuck is wrong with you? This is the most important thing. I have nothing to do with the Philadelphia 76ers and I never will. That is correct. No circumstance.

believe you wouldn't trust the process. Yeah. Also, also, you're, you're not ready to be a Flyers fan. You need some serious blood cult initiations to get involved here. I don't think I know any actual Flyers fans. Yes, that's because none of them have the internet. They all 12 in caves underground, drink blood. Yeah. Respect. Yeah, you're not ready for that, Ryan. That's not your life. No, I'm not going to do that. Yeah. Like, the two things I feel most confident in sports wise, I'm not a Titans fan and I'm not a 76ers fan and those are both good choices on my part. That's, is there, but I love

this idea by the way that like you like I think I want to end on a positive since I was so negative. I want to go ahead and say I this is actually a negative, but I'm going to be a positively stated negative. I have made very few really universally good choices in my life. I think one of them was

deciding at a very young age. I was never going to fucking touch the Falcons. Like my dad got me a falcons jacket when I was in second grade and I was like I don't know about that just because of where we lived and you go I'm gonna pass on that yeah I think that was a very good decision on my part yeah I think Dion played there when I was at an impressionable age so yeah you have an excuse yeah I think I think it's important to remember that it's always a choice which of these as much as we like to sort of say like I was bored into it it's like it's always a choice you don't have to be a

a fan of X-Team forever? You can just walk away. It's not a blood feud. It's the DeShare Zone meme. Just walk away. It doesn't matter. It's great. It's wonderful that we can have tribalism

without the actual tribes. It is possible to choose how much you care. And there's this thing that we're told goes along with it. If you don't care about the losses, you can't care about the wins. No, you can get to a place where that's not true.

That's only true for the Detroit Lions. Govals. But you can get to a lot. a place where the losses happen and they're funny and you still feel the victories. Also, go balls. That's true. Duval. Again, I'm in Atlanta Falcons. Yeah. That's another

very positive decision I made because I went to Florida around the same time with Jags fandom was like cranking up and you go, I don't know, is that a bandwagon you want to get on? It's a lot like You don't want none of this shit? It is. No, it is a lot like catching a friend on that like, well, I'm going to start doing this drug. How about you?

And you go, no. Then like five years later, Like, now you don't know the house. Let's wind the clock back to 1995. 40-year-old Spencer has an agent to make. Yes. Panthers fan, Jaguars fan. There's no winning. The only way to win is not to play.

Teal or dark teal. I will not Duval. I will not keep pounding. It's both good colors for you, though. They make your eyes pop. Yeah. Thank you. Appreciate that.

That's tough because you get to really enjoy the Cam Newton years, even though they didn't win that Super Bowl. The thing is The Jaggars had a really cool team for a while They had Fred Taylor They had Keenan McCardell, right? They had Tony Bisselli They had mascots on fire

They're scots on fire Jumping off of light towers and shit I think server is alluding to this But there was a weird sense I got That like Cam Newton was for a certain subset Of Panthers fan Not their favorite player Like not that beloved

Yeah like I remember my friend's group Of those who were Panthers fans they were they they all like cam newton we were all in agreement like this dude's pretty awesome um but like the the the older fan base was just not they were not fucking down with it and no one was and i think there was also i got a weird impression from panthers fans that like because of the schism that occurred between steve smith and cam newton and like the idea that like Steve Smith wasn't good for the locker room because he wouldn't give Cam a chance

to be the leader of the locker room. Piss people off because everybody loves Steve Smith so much and you don't fuck with Steve Smith. But being here and to your question of asking Spencer, like make a choice, I made that choice and chose the Miami Dolphins because it was at six years old, the Panthers became a franchise

guys, and I lived in South Carolina, and I was just like, nope, my dad has all these shirts. I'm going to choose these shirts. And even though the Panthers have been to two Super Bowls, way more playoffs, won the division, many more times of the Dolphins at that time. I still feel I made the proper decision. And just Carolina fans are always miserable. Like, they've never been happy. And they've always been teetering on the edge of like going six and ten the next year at every chance they've

had to everything you're describing is like change it to literally any other NFC South team. and I'm like, yes. Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. The NFC South is a curse. Ever since it was founded, it was a curse. It was always a cursed mission. It's made of NFC West and NFC Central teams. Six and ten might be able to be in the West or the Central.

Yeah. I want a thanks server for putting in my head a scenario in which, at one point during the Cam Newton era, a GM or someone in the front office went to a whiteboard, and they wrote down Needs, and they selected player who can beat up Steve Smith. We need someone else to come in and beat Steve Smith's ass so that there is a power balance and Cam can take.

And I like that this also entertains the scenario that they could not find a player. Like that they waited and they're like, do you think you can beat up Steve Smith? And every single prospect was like, no. No, I cannot. That should be a combine event. Fighting a holographic Steve Smith. Just slapbox this robot. We've calibrated this robot to be exactly as mean as Steve Smith.

like Boston Technologies is working on the slap bot 3,000. I don't understand. I'm a tight end. Fight him! Fight him! I assume we're winding down just because we... Maybe we're not. That's fine.

It's fine either way. Can I ask you a quick trivia question? Yeah, please. The college football playoff rankings are coming out a week from this recording. The debut of the rankings for the year, there will be a shakeup. It's very hard to imagine Georgia will be number one. It's okay. not a big deal this happened a year ago.

Can you tell me the two teams currently ranked in the AP top 25 that have at this time only one win each over FBS opponents with winning records, which is a very crude strength of schedule metric used by the playoff committee. That only have one? Each of these teams have one FBS win each over a winning opponent, a 500 or better, let's say that. In the top 25? AP top 25 teams, yes. I know it's not Florida State. Florida State has a lot.

They got five. Yeah. Does Michigan even have one yet? Michigan beat records. Michigan is five. Yeah, Michigan's actually fine. UNLV counts as a decent win now. Yes, that's right.

Oh, yeah, that's true. UnleV is who should get the big ten. Bowling Green is 500. Is one of them Duke? Because they lost two of their rank games. Duke has two. Oh, shit. Okay.

Is UNC still ranked? UNC is still ranked. UNC has three. Really? Okay. I don't know. One of them is Air Force. No real shame there.

They haven't played very many, right? Hello, ranked Air Force. I didn't see you there. The other is Georgia. Really? Do you know what's really funny about that besides everything you just said? Are you saying that James Madison has more of those wins in Georgia.

Oh, yeah. James Madison has stacked up some good ones. Jamie has four. Yeah. Like, it's a crude metric. It doesn't say everything. And, like, there is no, like, shame or valor. Yes.

Is it just Kentucky? Kentucky the only thing with Georgia is they're probably about to start piling up. Florida, you're joining the list. And then there's Ole Miss. And then there's Missou, an awesome win available, apparently, right? The next month for Georgia could be when they start to earn the ranking they've recruited to this point.

I'm just saying, prepare yourself for Georgia won't be number one. And it'll be a big loud thing. but they shouldn't be and it's fine it's fine yeah it's not a big deal i like the preemptive calm blanket the weighted blanket we are laying over the kicking legs the other thing is like kirby gets to say nobody believes in you kirby gets to lie about that what is the lowest you can see georgia going in the in the opening uh how brave are they because like ohio state's going to be number one unless something crazy happens michigan you can lock them in at number two i think um they're off this week anyway.

Is Oklahoma not flirting with either of those? Oklahoma is up there. Oklahoma is up there. Plus they have a quality win to add this week. Excuse me. FSU. FSU is another with a top four argument as well. So like how crazy do they want to get?

Do they want to put Georgia at five? Do you? Dare you. Dare you do it. God. God. Have Georgia next team out. Do it.

I want to see the graphic. I'm just a little old boy from Bainville. You don't believe in poor little old me at five. It'd be funnier if they named it by outlet. The Saudi Daisy Telegraph of Oudawa, Tennessee. Doesn't believe in curfy. Hated Michigan State. Go dogs.

I know the Saudi Daisy UDoward is the same thing. If the playoff committee was dropping rankings tonight, the team that would fly up them is Kansas State. Kansas State is quite underrated right now. But for that kick against Missouri! Which is now an awesome result. That's correct. That's the best is that you're like,

who's the demon who stands between us and a playoff ranking? Harrison Mivas! By the way, also, who was on this, who was on this suspicious eye-cocked at Mizzou train early? Us. Where we? I don't remember that, but I don't remember it. We'll take credit for it.

I would also like to point out that you're trying about my Kansas State Wildcats. Yes. Oh, yeah, I haven't updated the thing, but yes, server did take the Kansas State Wildcats in his playoff. Oh, shit, yeah, I'm gonna... What if Mizzou beats Georgia?

What will that do to them? First of all, the amount of cash shit talked by one Eli Drinkwitz in that game cannot be measured, unquantifiable, infinite, the limit does not exist. We're going to have to revise our opinions of Eli, and I don't feel like doing it, but I will.

We view Georgia's schedule as nothing happens until the Tennessee game, but there's a couple things happening before the Tennessee game. If you want the funniest possible result. That might not even happen then if Tennessee can't reassemble an O-line out of graham crackers. Georgia's 0 and 3 streak. Oh, God, it tickles. Eight and three Georgia rolls into Atlanta. Not the SEC title game, I mean Georgia Tech Stadium.

Can you just hear? Gary, like, not the season Georgia was thinking they'd have. Because he kind of gets this, he gets his little sing-songy voice when he's trying to be a mean old video. Not to be fair, they had to play Missou. Georgia didn't think this was going to go this way. You could translate that for Gary, which is, holy crap, they put this one in the shitter. Fucking shit. Yeah, that's, yeah.

They've been a little disappointed. I want to see the graphic pop up Gary's annual argument for the SEC title game loser to make the playoffs anyway. The zoo wins the SEC title. Sure. Penn State beats Michigan and wins the Big Ten title. Holy crap. Azou beats Penn State in the semifinals. Now be the Pac-12.

Yeah. Two Pac-12 teams in the playoff. Utah and Washington. Washington. Yeah. I love it. Big 12 out, sorry. And then we get a Missouri Utah National Championship.

I love it. Attended by thousands. Are we time traveling? Yeah, that Utah attended by us, man. That's a time travel. That Utah wins 19 to 4.

Oh, that Utah wins on some bullshit call. Oh, yes. Bobby both is. Sixth down? What do you mean? Sixth down? I love this assault on ESPN

where it's like, we gave you TCU last year and you know, you griped about it. Well, here comes, guess what? Here comes two TCUs. Meanwhile,

undefeated JMU just standing on the side. Fucking let us play! Let's go. Let us in. Oh, it gets even better because you remember where this,

remember where this is all happening right no where the title game is this year is it Houston it isn't Houston so TCU and Texas fans yep get to watch a and M fans I didn't think you guys were agitating for a national championship so I didn't include you there I cannot wait for Eli Drinkwitz to beat Georgia now because if that happens what would make a Georgia fan matter than a nerd like Will Must champ's gonna be so heated he's Like, I bet he can read. A nerd with a Bible name. What's great is they're all going to be like, his hair's so stupid.

Yeah, yeah. His hair's stupid. Put that on the memo we send to every Georgia fan so they can have one thought this week about an opponent. His hair is dumb. Blows and the chili bowl bangs out of their face.