Shutdown Fullcast - The Hunt for the Coach with the Most Resume Entries

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

- Welcome to Charity Bowl week, now featuring new tools to track how badly you're beating your rivals at https://www.moneycannon.org/- The questions mainstream media isn't asking about Steve Belichick - Finding coaches with overly long Wikipedia career summaries- The Cursed Island of the 2007 Atlanta Falcons- Maybe this is the Charity Bowl stretch goal Spencer will fulfill- This week's theme song by Trey McClure - Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz - Sign up for update's about Ryan's secret new project at https://www.falconscottproductions.com/ - Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/- DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

I fucked Bill Belichick. It was great. What a pleasant lover your dad is. That's really, when people go, well, why are they paying attention to this? Yeah. Yeah. Brother, that's a lot. I think that's always in the context of what we're talking about the Bill Belichick thing.

is ultimately it comes down to your dad is dating yeah why is he doing that this is very righteous gemstones daddy you should be sad forever daddy came yeah you should be alone and sad and on your boat

with long hair forever which Bill Belichick should go back to the mid-80s hair I do agree with that do you think he can he's rich do you think that's on the table okay that's fair science can do so many things. I've seen extensions.

Let's get. Can we get Bill Belichick, like a braided mullet? The braided mullet on Bill Belichick. I think so, like, in New England, he went for, like, the boater look. North Carolina boater is a very different look, and it is going to involve a mullet. That is true. That is, like, when Bill Belichick goes, yeah, you know, like, might have kind of a coastal look. Because I feel like he would say that.

And you would go, well, which coast, Bill? This is very important. This is why he went pirate. As Holly pointed out a few weeks ago, there was that, his pirate costume. It was there all along, North Carolina Coast. Yeah, real. I know you want to start the show,

but the greatest trick that Bill Belichick and his girlfriend have pulled off so far is we're talking about UNC, and I don't think a single conversation has been about unc football how good they are how bad they are who they're nothing zero of it is about unc's football team in any way shape or form and that feels like a spectacular piece of misdirection yeah how long can they keep this going probably a real long time probably a long time October November can this still be the focus let's see if they can keep that up

i mean are we Halloween then it's like oh okay it's pirate pirate costume again Right. So you got that. Right. I might point out that we're only discussing UNC in the most distal, tangential way. It's still discussion. We're still talking about it. We're thinking about UNC right now.

I hate to say it. How often in previous years do you think we were like, it's time to talk about anything even tangentially related to UNC football? We talked about Mac Brown a lot. Okay. Do you think they were happy about that? Do you think they're happy about what we're saying today? Yes, I do, actually.

We do talk about Matt Brown in recent previous seasons. It was largely in times when he had just completed a victory and then gone to suck the life force out of his opposing coach and store it in the batteries in his puffy coat. But the operating factor in that scenario is UNC had just won. Really, we should have clicked trained UNC into having a pleasant association with the full cast by this point. maybe we can do that now hey bill i think you're doing great i think everything there's going awesome you're a winner i'm a winner trying to speak winner guys right that thing where you do the like hey we're all winners here right right we have another winner on the show let's bring the winter in hey we're just podcasters doing our job after this we're going to miss this winners so i'm not a journalist

i'm just here to entertain all right that's why i'm publishing the private information of several young people. That took a zag. I didn't really click for me for a second there. I was like, what? What did we do? Let's go make their Instagrams private. Do what journalists do.

Not journalists. That's what I meant to say. Not journalist. Yeah. Maybe we can do that. Maybe we can just become the moles inside UNC and leak only the things UNC wants us do, right? I think Bill Belichick would respect that in the same way he approaches football,

we just take it one podcast at a time. We're not thinking about next week's show. No. Definitely not. Like, I can't even hold that in my brain. That there's a show next week. We're always on to Pittsburgh, I think, specifically. That's right.

That's right. Just sitting here leaking, Belchip's gossip for him. I'm like, hey, you know that Pat and Arduzzi wears diapers on the sideline so he could just pee, right? You can just stand there. Call his 19-yard bill. It's a privilege! Yeah, you know that Mario Cristobo can't read, right? He's a Broadway star!

Can't read a clock. We know that much. He's time illiterate. Relatable. A relatable king. I think my favorite part in this Belichick story by Matt Baker of The Athletic.com was the... Credit.

Belichick's girlfriend, half a century younger than him, which I don't, I don't, whatever, that's whatever. It's funny to me, you know, that's like as far as I can kind of get that part. But like managing the Belichick image to the point of advising the school on how to announce the hire of Steve Belichick the younger, Bill's 38-year-old son, let's steer this away from anything that'll appear like a Nepo hire. And, like, imagine being so adjacent to the NEPO label that your potential stepmom, who is 14 years younger than you, is having to tell people, make sure he doesn't sound NEPO. This is very much a nepotism t-shirt joke in the making because in the, because in that memo, right? in the memo's a real strong word for it.

In these emails. It's an email. In this cable. Yes. Yeah. In this post. Ship to shore. See?

See? He's coastal. He's on the boat. General MacArthur. Urgent message. Must not refer to Steve Belichick as my sweet boy. Flash. A chronicle.

That's what it is. Chronicle from Jordan. Yeah. this is this is by the way she gives the media way too much credit because she refers to any hints about nepotism as raise awareness regarding a sometimes subtle sometimes obvious they he said no no dog it is never subtle no one no one in the journalism category is capable of subtle it's just not it's not a it's not a club in the bag okay it's going to be pretty obvious we got driver and other driver that's it's it's like driver and not swing right driver and kickball driver and stand there confused yeah it's like i mean depending on the coverage beat it's like if you know it you've you blast it everywhere but like if you don't you just stare at it yeah this goes more into the ask me about my nepotism case quote it can be easily misinterpreted that steve is simply benefiting from nepotism why why so easy why is that an easy line to draw

that's not my favorite line though there's good ones what you're I don't have the piece open in front of me, so maybe you can help me find it. I'll try. But there's one where she's almost like two insistence. She's like, Steve is Bill's son. Like, we affirm that Steve is Bill's son. And it's so, it's so aggressive and so insistent that I'm kind of like, wait a second. Steve is adopted and this is how he learned it?

Is Steve like Bill's secret super younger brother? But like, he first showed up on the scene and everyone was like, this, you know, son he's like oh i guess and it's just a fraud that they've been perpetrating for like almost four years or like some dude named steve showed up and he's like steve uh coach what's his last name uh like han solo's origin store yeah what's your name steve uh this young guys following me around i guess he's my son yeah like what if they do have a honsolo chubacher what if what is Steve Belichick is a wookie who owes Bill Belichick a life debt, I guess is what I'm saying. Possible.

That is something that could be gleaned from this email about branding. And the nepotism thing is just a misdirect so we don't catch on to this part of the story. Because that's the real shame. That's the real shame. That's what they're not telling you. Have you ever heard Steve Belichick talk? I haven't. I don't know what it sounds like.

Can you imagine how terrible it would be to be a wookie in North Carolina? God, it's so human. I mean, I think, like, dependent on the part of the state, you could just vibe. They'd just be like, hey, man, that's just Steve. He just, you know, that's how he talks. I just mean the weather. Oh, goodness. Specifically.

We'd have to put him over in western North Carolina for sure. He's not coming down below 3,000 feet. And it's not like Florida or parts of Louisiana where you can just be naked. And it's just like, hey, this is the, like, I don't feel like server can way in here. North Carolina doesn't feel like it has a lot of pro-public nudism vibes personally. Technically

not outside of Wrightsville Beach no. Sorry, Serber. Good call. I was going to go in a similar geographic area. Technically, the beach where we vacation, Topsul Island is a topless island, but that's not really, I don't, I mean it's not like, not like I've been looking or anything but I haven't seen anything. All islands

are topless. It's called what? Topso. Topsel. Topsel. It's top sale. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's called that because when the pirate ships would hide out in the little coves in the inner coastal, they would watch until they saw the tops of the sails of the British ships and the merchant ships coming in. And then they would raid them and murder all of them and steal their things.

This is the earliest known form of Monsor asleep. Yeah. Ar. My question is... Mods are asleep. Pilate to trading vessels. My question is, who decided that Topsel was going to be topless, and why were they a guy? It was undoubtedly a guy, right? Might not have been a guy. I'm not going to say it was a guy.

I'm going to say it was it. Yeah, that's Patriarch. All pirates are non-binary. That's true. That is true. You spent a long time on that boat. Anyway, I just think there's a lot of tricky questions to be asked about the relationship with Steve and Bell Belichick. And why are we just assuming that it's a simple father?

son relationship that's all why are we so laser focused on the young girlfriend part when in fact the real conspiracy it's lucky steve yeah that sounds like a real name with no if not that i've ever personally met anyone named steve but think about a name that you would come off right at the top of your head when someone's like sir is that your son and you're like yeah what's his name steve i mean Steve. Very coincidental. Very, very, very convenient that all of this comes out when the Minecraft movie is in theaters and every Zoom or coast to coast is screaming, I am Steve all day long.

Oh, so all of you are Steve? Right. And to Ryan's point, I don't necessarily think that we are so delighted with this possibility because, you know, it's scandalous or anything. But isn't it so much more interesting if this is not a simple father-sumption? Well, they've actually decided that it would be good if we made it anything but a simple father-son relationship. I'm going to read, I believe, part of the passage that Ryan thought was interesting, which is, and I quote, it's from Jordon Hudson. It is really worth emphasizing the point that Steve has the experience of being a...

All caps. College! Defensive coordinator. And will bring a plethora of knowledge to the coaching staff. I believe being strategic about the depiction of Steve. of the Steve sick will prevent controversy and show utmost

sick yeah the SSR is strategic Steve reserve respect she also suggested that the Tar Hills avoid referring to Steve as Bill's son and to avoid quote visual prompts unquote that could fuel accusations

of nepotism Hey also I'm late I'm coming in late today I'm sorry about that who asked her this is after she was asked to be copied on all emails and I think she just decided after after after Bill said, all, like, branding type emails, copy Jordan. Cannot believe this has had weird and unforeseen consequences

when, in all fairness, what probably actually occurred in real life was Bill going, I don't want to deal with that shit. Jordan, do you want to handle these emails? Do you think the UNC's press department had photos ready to go of, like, super father-dad stuff? I'm like, here's Steve teaching. It's like, piggyback. Yeah, 72-year-olds.

Bill is teaching 35-year-old Steve how to ride a bike. Fishing. Pushing. Here he is. Putting a band-aid on his knee after he fell off the bike. Teaching him how to shave. The whole thing.

Yeah. We need to replace... Oh, shit. We need to replace that of imagery of him making Steve work in the minds. Putting Steve on the loom. So they're replacing it with images of we got to make these guys look nothing alike. Can we do that? Can we make it clear that Bill does not love?

this man that he does not know. He's never met this man before. Bill driving past like Steve and splashing him in a puddle like, you know, as he's zipping by him in a car. Steve is for some reason dressed like Sarah Jessica Parker and the sex in the city credits. Here's Bill ordering a hamburger

and Steve's in line behind him, but he's not paying for that one because he doesn't know him. It's a new plan. Bill, you're going to look at a lineup of a guy's named Steve. You're going to have no clue any of them are. You're going to say, does that one have the same last name as me? You won't have any clue. Oh, Steve DeBerg.

Hell of a player. Remember him from back in a day. Oh, son of Lady Catherine. Oh, no, there was a... Oh, yeah, tough nose, son of a bitch. He has 10,000 a year. Thank you for putting Steve... Thank you for putting Steve to Berg in the Jane Austen universe.

I really appreciate that. That means... All of North Carolina is in the Jane Austen universe, derogatory. Steve DeBerg, Jane Austen universe, Steve DeBerg, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tom Brady Tom Brady In the Bronte verse

Tom Brady Oh my God Brady Brady is a brother son Belichick has never met Yeah Yep Yep

Like this thing You know To some extent It is correct That this is like a A work Like this is a kind of thing We're like

Yeah it's supposed to be all like Flashy and attention grabbing But at the same time It is pretty fascinating Like You know the video of her She's like walking around At practice

Like interacting with coaches is like she kind of looks like she's in charge of practice, like just walking up to coaches and adjusting stuff and saying, oh, no, look over here and whatever. It's interesting. And I don't mean that in any sort of like I care about this way. It's just interesting. I think the least, the thing about this email exchange particularly

that demonstrates what I will say is a misunderstanding of college football compared to pro football. If you are a head coach of a pro football team, and you name your kid or you're like an in-law or somebody like that as one of your two coordinators, there will be a shitstorm. People will have issues. People will start to raise questions for a variety of reasons. Some of it will be related to, like, you know,

the racial pecking order in the NFL in coaching circles and things like that. Whatever. In college, this shit happens all the time. Like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I think. it betrays sort of a like, oh, well, this won't do. If people notice this and they start to think nepotism, that'll be a big problem when it's like, no, if you have a son, he almost certainly works for you. I mean, almost certainly works for you. As far as nepotism goes, I'm far more worried about Michael Lombardi being here than Steve Belichick.

Steve Belichick has overseen college football things that worked fine. Michael Lombardi ran a Brown's draft. So like, that's the nepotism I'm worried about. Like Michael Lombardi's the one who would go, I think he's a promising prospect at left guard. And you would say, sir, that's a commercial ice maker. Like none of, none of the Bowden, nobody was ever mad at a Bowden because of nepotism. They were mad at a Bowden because they sucked. Now, Terry Bowden and at times Jimbo might have been very mad about Bowden-related nepotism, but they were mad at their mother. It also takes a while for the nepotism stuff to kick in. It's not like Iowa fans were mad at Brian Farrant's on site.

It boiled for years and years and years and years and got worse and worse and worse. He's also taking a position that has been an absolute shit show. It can't get worse. It's not like UNC defensive coordinator is like, no, you gave him the prize jewel in college football. dare you. It's like, you got a shit job, dude. Yeah. I mean, like, if we're talking like late stage, Gene Chiswick and late stage Ted Roof, I'm just guessing Ted Roof has been in there at some point. I could look it up, but I'm not going to. If we're talking to, you're the arson, you're the arson investigator who's

like, ah, it's probably gasoline. It's all Ted Roof coded for the past decade, right? Like, the joke about UNC every time has been like, well, their score 40, but it won't matter. So, like, yeah, it can't get worse. Washington's defense has been fine. So, like, it's an okay higher. Just call it. Okay, hire. Jeff Collins wasn't an uppetism hire. How did that go?

You should only hire people with the same name as you. Brother, brother, you know, who brought himself up by his own bootstraps and then ate them because he thought they were licorice. That's right, Will Must champ.

Will Must champ. Ted Roof, last year was at UCF. That's his most recent known whereabouts. Sure. Thank you for letting me know where he is. It's very important.

It changes every fucking year. Every fucking year. That's why we need to tag him. The closest he was was NC State in 2018. A staple. I said this last week about somebody else, and I don't remember who, but you got to stay, some of these guys, you just want to staple a tag to their ear.

Actually, NC State 2018, App State 2019. So he was, Clemson, 21. He was circling UNC this entire time. I know an extended stay America loves to see him coming. Well, not so extended. He's falling through, but. He'll be rambling on down the road before too long. Every lease Ted Roof has ever signed is a lie.

Can we make merch idea, huddle, business meeting. Can we make band tour shirt, Ted Roof coaching stops? Roof Tour, World Tour. It includes multiple stops at Duke, multiple stops at UCF, multiple stops at, there's another one in here somewhere, I'm pretty sure. man this is a well-traveled man Georgia Tech multiple Georgia Texx yes multiple stops

at Duke like he stops at the Frankfurt airport and takes pictures multiple times I love this bus depot it's my favorite thing in Nepal almost all of it is in the same geographic area and then there's one year in Minnesota he decided he'd had it he's like no

and then they called him right back Mama call She kicked me out again Got a lot of mamas Yeah And I moved back in with mom And that didn't go so well He's a ramblet

We need to find the most rambling man In college football Because I know Ted Roof has got to be up there Yeah Petrino's up there's up there right now Yeah roper Kurt Roper has got to be up there too I'm gonna let's see Who has the longest spreadsheet On their coaching career

Wiki thing That's an easy measurement Yeah This is all I'm gonna do for this whole show. Yeah. By the way. I was kidding,

but Kurt Roper is at North Carolina State. He's right there. Oh, Paul Pasquiloni is counting strong. Oh, wow. So Petrino, we got 22 lines. Good God. Paul P.

Still in the league. Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12. Paul Pee's looking like 18. 18. 18.

Ted Roof has matched Petrino. Wow. How many stops? In a number of ways, yeah. counting this is a good audio okay so listen it's not quite there but Kevin Steele 22 sorry Kevin Steele's got an incredible he's at 15 but it's an incredible 15 brother

how many stops since he hit a gun and a safe all of his so many of his are memorable right like his Baylor era is memorable yes that one his uh his is his is whole Auburn LSU thing with like appearances of Tennessee in between I think you hit Travel and Man at 15 At 15 we go You're in the club And at 20 That's a nomad brother

Time to check Enos Not as many as I thought That might be the original one we would attack He's got 20 though He's in the club safely in the club Ooh ooh ooh Willie Martinez where we at Now I'm just thinking about coaches

Who have turned up on our spring roster And I'm just go oh no Two three four five Looking like 18 18. All right, getting there. He's still kind of young, too. There is a coach I'm trying to remember who, like, within four years went from, like, Florida to Florida State to my...

He was like a tight-ins coach or something. James Bates. No, no, James... Oh, hold on a second. I want to say he had been the head coach at Minnesota at one point. Is it James... Oh, Brewster? Yes, Tim Brewster.

There's a couple different... Aren't there, like, two different Brewsters that we keep up? Yes, that's right. This is not... This is not the Tim Brewster. Brewster Prime has at 17, the one who did the very online one in the 2010s. Brewster Prime. Dude, you want to talk about the ultimate like intra-Florida pinball act?

Randy Shannon has to be. Yeah, because he'll always have like a different title every year. And it feels like that. Holy fuck. All right. Wow. We're cooking. That is a lot.

Oh, Randy Shannon's column breaks. It's not a lot of movement around a school. It's a lot of movement within his school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah yeah okay uh counting okay let's see one two three like a firefly in a very small jar 17 different job titles that counts okay okay he is damn so i have there's probably also like eight guys in texas like this that we just don't know i'm gonna take a flyer by the way on uh on a young achiever he's 48 but he's already on his 14 13th 13th or 14th stop that would be cute

Washington head coach Jed Fish. Jed Fish, among other things, has been at the P.K. Young Developmental Research School, P.K. Young in Gainesville, Florida. He was at Florida. Texans, Ravens, Broncos, Minnesota, Seattle, Miami, Florida. You skipped right over the Arena League team. No, but I was coming back to that as the hammer.

Okay, none of these equal. Ryan, it's Spencer's job to ruin these moments. Yeah, come on. You did that well, though. I got to say, that was a 10 out of 10 bit ruin. So that's what that feels like. It's good. It's good.

Watch. And I'm going to be a pro blow right through it. Jaguars, Michigan, UCLA, Rams, Rams, Patriots, Arizona, now Washington. But all of that can't be topped by his 1998 gig as the wide receivers and quality control coach, aka the guy who gets coffee and cuts video for the New Jersey Red Dogs of the arena football. Wow. Yeah. Well, yeah, he's got a swim upstream to spawn, so that makes sense.

I got 16 for Pat Shermer. Respectable. Yeah. You get those NFL guys in there, man. You get... What about John Tanuda? Who do you got, server? I have 26 for Brian Van Gorder.

Wow! Yo! Okay, hey, y'all, look at you know. Tanuda is sitting on... Damn, 25, or 25. That's a great call. How many was a... Van Gorder?

It's 26 if we're counting the high school gigs. Yes, we have to. It's 22. It's 26. You can count again, maybe, because I'm bad at math. But, yeah, and one of those is including a return to American Heritage School. Yeah, Van Gorder is the new leader. That was the, man, we should have, the inability that we had due to jobs and families and other lives to camp out for their entire high school stint there and just film everything is going to haunt me for a while.

No, I think this is right. And I think, if I'm doing the math right, the only places where he's had long stops of, like, he was there for more than three years, are the, for more than four years, or for at least four years, I should say, are the Atlanta Falcons and American Heritage High School. And that's it.

Everywhere else, it's pretty much like, we can do three years tops of private order. Also, American Heritage, that high school, note two stints 30 years apart more than, Right. More than 30, 35 years apart. That's right. Multiple generations in American Heritage molded by Van Gogh.

You know, I coached your granddad. Like, DeGrassey Petrino. Hey, I don't, this falls a little bit short, but I went to check out his 10 years, and I just want you guys to look at Al Golden's current Wikipedia photo. Would love to. Where he looks like an arena football version. Reader. Reader's at home.

I assume you are following along with this train. Yeah, you're crashing your car right now. Turn the game. That's a good photo. Dude, you know what I, that looks like Babe Ruth. Al Gold looks like Bay Ruth. Colorized. I could use a hot dog, son.

Maybe 12. He's a normal looking person with what looks like Lego hair sat down on top of his head. You remember those Lego bases that were on the moon? That looks like a man who should have had a legitimate fear of tetanus, because that is like some Like, Johnny, like if Johnny Quest was in an orphanage, this guy would be the headmaster. If you're Brian Van Gorder, have you ever purchased a home?

Never heard of, never heard of it, brother. I feel like maybe once and to disastrous effect. Yeah, and after that it was all RV, everything. Like, where was he in, where was he in 2001? Did he forget he had one? I bet he's one of those guys who's like, oh shit, I own a home at Chapel Hill. Like, he invested, he made a shit, he invested his entire, first big job in Pets.com

and then bought a home. I'm thinking something like that. Wade Phillips, this list is more than a scroll on desktop. Wow. Oh my God. My guy. What we got, Big? What we got? You know that thing where you, I feel like we've just done that thing where we

fight our way to the top of the mountain and then the clouds clear and there's a spiraling staircase. It's only 22 because of the way it's formatted, but still. If you told me Wade Phillips and you asked me to put, imagine the hat on his head could be anything it could be anything he's probably had like three or four jobs that like he forgot about they're not on here no one knows that'd be a fun single serving website where it just pops up Wade Phillips in a series of three hats and you just got to pick one

yeah yeah just it could be all of them you could be like yeah he's done that'd be a good captcha find all the Wayne Phillips in this photo can you identify wait for try again you miss three Wayne Phillips in this photo. Your account is locked. There's a little corner of a Wayne Phillips in this one. Do I click it or not? Your account is locked. Let's see. All right, we'll start the show.

All right, we can start the show. I'm just going to keep doing this, so. I'll save you. Rob Ryan is 18. That's more than I thought. I got to bump that number up. Okay. Yeah. Well, he's only 62.

Plating time. Mr. Buddy Ryan would probably be worth to check there if you want to look at an interesting one. Oh, you know, and you're going to be able to be. Come to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. Dennis Erickson, 19. It's pretty good.

It's pretty good. Joined as always by Ryan Annie, Holly Anderson, Jason Kirk, and Michael Serbant on the ones and twos. I want to be clear as I interrupt Spencer also. I am not looking these up. I'm just guessing, and I want other people to look them up. So have fun with that. I am stunned that.

wait wait wait wait wait this is also how i learned is anybody currently aware and i feel like i should have been of what brent key's current offensive coordinator's name is i am positive we talked about this last year yeah did we okay buster faulkner yeah buster faulkner are you fucking kidding mike riley only 18 yes his name is buster faulkner and somehow does not come to work wearing like a dicky Or have a move that's called the Faulkner Buster. Oh, ooh, ooh, can I get a Freddy Kitchens? Can you please check on Freddy Kitchens? Computer.

Computer, solid. Load Freddykitchens.X. Oh, this is better than I thought it would be. Three, four, five, six, and eight. I got 20. I got 20 here. I did look one thing up, and I have a very enjoyable blast from the past. Do you guys know who the current OC at Wake Forest is? I knew several days ago, and I've now forgotten. Rob E. Zell, he

former Alabama player and world record holder of the greatest Nick Saban imitation that has ever been committed to camera. Good for him, man. That is, yeah. Okay. I just want that dude to do well because he imitated Nick Sabin to his face and lived.

Yeah, somehow. Which, I guess, being the offensive coordinator at Wake is kind of like semantically similar in terms of peril. Tim Lester is the other, is the one I keep mixing up with Tim Brewster. My favorite webpage title,

Sports Reference. List of all the college football coaches. All of them. That's a great way to put it. I love, yeah, I love that phrasing. Computer.

Tim Lester appears to have like 14 stops. It's fine. Perfectly respectable. I wonder if you, like, which one, you know personally would have the longest scroll like this where you go oh man like their jobs roll yeah like their jobs scroll like we're sitting here making fun of college football coaches and I'm like hey we got another we got another split did you all know tony franklin's back at louisiana

tech certainly did not how Tony Tony Tony's got to have quite quite the resume in that department Tony has like maybe the biggest like scenery change delta yeah going from rust to Berkeley to Murphy's borough I got 18 for Algrove 18? How Mummy is merely at 17 but man

he's... That's a variety That's got some... It's nothing Yeah, you're right, it's nothing but dive bars, man. Just the dive bars of college football. Some of those count double. I have 21 for Dom Capers. Wow. That's a great.

Nourve Turner. Great poll. What about other Turner. North? No, the other one. Who's his brother? Ron.

Gil? Ron. Ron Turner. That's what it is. Oh, that guy. Not Ron Turner, Illustrator, Wikipedia. Obviously, I mean, Ron Turner, American football. All right.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, did you all know Mike Shula is still coaching? What? He's in South Carolina, isn't he? He's apparently Shane Beamer's OC this year. After a stint in the NFL. I got night. Senior offensive assistant

I got 19 for Ron Turner 19's pretty strong 19's good especially when you're Ron Turner you know what I mean Roy Joy or Jesus Christ Ryan is Jay Bateman who you were thinking about No it wasn't

but now I can't remember who I was thinking about which is not helpful I hope that the person who left a comment on our Spotify episode cussing at us and calling us cowards for not talking about Matt Weiss is enjoying this. I don't know if that man

wanted us to make jokes about Matt Weiss or what. We'll never know. I will never know. Yeah, I got one more. I got to check Woody McCorm- This is what we're doing instead. Woody McCorvey? Man, Woody McCorvey was one of these guys who,

when he became your... No, like 10 stops, okay. Yeah. Because he was one of these guys who... Ooh, oh! Sorry, I'm excited every time I find one of these and I can't stop yelling. Yes.

but I just had a really good idea. Hugh Jackson. Oh, H-U-E-H-E-H-U, right? Yeah. At one. I feel like it flayed. Wow, this is a long list. Never mind.

Holy shit. One, two, three, four, five. I started thinking about, I started thinking about dudes who were, like, at the top, but who were not getting a shot at a head coaching job. Oh, my God, Hugh Jackson. I'm going to try to do just stops and not, like, from USC, he, he is title chains. But if we're just doing. stops Pacific 1 that's where he was a GA Cal State Fullerton 2 the London monarchs

Arizona State Cal USC Washington's football team Cincinnati's football team the Falcons the Ravens the Raiders back to the Bengals I'll count that separately Cleveland Browns back to the Bengals again Tennessee State Grambling State Georgia State. I believe I just listed like 17 distinct stops. And there are like lots of subcategories. 25 All total. He's 25 which puts

him one shy of BVG. That's a great choice. It's a great goal. I'm noticing all the big scorers have been with the Atlanta Falcons. We got Petrino, Van Gorder, and Jackson all in the top six here. When you got

Now nowhere else to go. The Atlanta Falcons have a job for you. Also, Roof and Tanuda have been in Atlanta numerous times. I'm not enough of a good data visualization person to figure out how we would create like a Falcons cloud. Wade Phillips also with the Falcons. I forgot about this. Every single one of these guys has coached multiple years in Atlanta.

Wow. Wait, not exactly multiple years. We're also talking about the two, specifically in this case, we're talking about the 2007 Falcons, which head coach Bobby Petrino, offensive coordinator, Hugh Jackson, linebackers coach, Brian Van Gorder, Mike Zimmer's on his team. He's the one who basically like said fuck Bobby Petrino on the way out. Paul Petrino, he's the whiteouts coach. He's in places. Bill Musgrave is the quarterback's coach on this team. Maybe somebody else to tap there. Bill Musgrave does not have a short list, I assure you.

Oh, that's, that's legit. Like, you know, you know how we do that thing where we like, we go back to be like here's like this 49ers team and all these coaches that would come out of it or this packers team we need to do this for the 2007 i know that's basically a john boy's project that's already happened bill musgrave 17 like this is top to bottom rambling men this yeah yeah the wanderers yeah they just blew through town and then blew right back out you got trouble at home we'll be there very briefly you know if you um If you don't know what to eat, you just kind of go, I'll just make eggs, right?

I'll just make an omelet. I'm hungry. That's totally, these are, these are omelet coaches when you're like, ah, I need a guy. Bobby Petrino's putting together a crew. Right. And when you're like, so like a nice omelet, like a French omelet? No, no, no, no, no, just eggs and shit in a pan.

So we're not in a girl dinner. Flip ones. Girl dinner coach. Cheese, greets. Baby cheat dinner. This isn't even a compelling Western because you can't go. getting a crew together to save this small town from the bandits. You're like, are they the worst of

the worst? Are they the scoundrels? You go, no, they're available. No, they're here. Yeah. This is a great fine. This is great. I love this. Ooh. Can I pull a current head coach for this? Sure. Why not? What about Sam Pittman? He's been around forever.

Yeah, Sam was like, before he got the gig. That was lifetime assistant with... First, first, with that of one looking. Has Sam Pittman ever coached for the Atlanta Falcons? No. Probably? No. The answer is no.

I'm going to say defensive line in in 1990. He is at 20. He is at 20 number. Ooh, nice. He's never made the NFL jump, but if he does, I think we know where it's going. Mama's calling. Bring Petrino. He'll be like, hey, listen, how did you?

get in the building. How did you already have a card? He's like, I've always had a card. Now I'm just picturing the 2007 Falcons coaching staff all doing, it's a hard knock life. All this group. If we could just convert their Sky Miles to cash. The other category that I was looking at was like famous-ish sons of famous coaches who were famously not good at their jobs.

Steve. Yeah, but not bad enough to wash out. So lots of guys named Steve. Lots of Steve's. Always a Steve. Never a bill. Charlie Weiss Jr., surprisingly few stops. He's young.

He's still pretty young, I think. Josh, maybe he is. Because I think he was in school when Charlie was working at Florida? Yeah, that was his thing. He was a student, and he was a GA. Only 10 for Josh McDaniels, but I think he gets double for every time he goes back. There's a lot, and there's a lot of jobs. Josh McDaniels hasn't taken, and he should get credit for those too.

Josh McDaniels is your friend who's had one prestige job, right? Yeah, I remember when I went to that. I studied abroad in Massachusetts. When I lived in Barcelona. Or as the locals call it. Yeah, Barcelona or the Patriots. In Foxborough. It's like, man, I,

Josh McDaniels is just one of those guys where you go. Even if you do a good job, is it worth me having to do with Josh McDaniels? No. Most people don't think so. By evidence, yeah. I'm sure we're forgetting. Bill O'Brien also has much shorter list I would have thought.

There's got to be a really, really big one we're forgetting, but, well, this spreadsheet's remaining open. I'll just put it that way. If we went back long... If we went back long enough, you can find the, like, coaches who, like, coach two teams in one... Sure, sure, yeah. I looked through some old coaches,

and most of them, it was like... They're like ancient coaches, and most of the really, really traveled ones. It was, like, six or seven, and then they died of dip theory. Right. Then you got pluracy when you were 42, and that was it. They were like, then they retired to be a baseball coach.

Got RFK'd next thing you do. So, and after we get the, so after we get the, you know, like an established leaderboard of the old guys who've been at this along this, we can get in, we can become pace of play guys for this chart and start looking at the guys in their like late 40s, early 50s who already have 10 plus. Yeah, this 30 year old new coach has been to six places already. Yeah, you can I can see the upworthy headlines Because like we're not looking for future stars We're not looking for like the next McVey We're looking for the next Kingsbury

Right We're looking for the ones with the most With the most points racked up in like storage box MustChamp is only 53 and he has 15 lines Solid Solid I leader in the clubhouse of potential We gotta vote those up

Respectable Problem is he's slowing down you know we need him we need him to get antsy and be like I don't know I think the CFL's calling I think I think what you need is will must champ on TRT we need to go ahead supplement him what you need is somebody who won one broils award like for one year was like oh this assistant coach the fraudulent broils award and then after that was like nope just wandered forever more had a good quarterback let me look through broil's flops Yeah, you could just go, like, oh, brother, here's a fun one.

Ron Zuck. Ron Zook's not going to be that good, though. He's had two long head coaching stints. Yeah, he's had too long, though, brother. Yeah, but the bank's not on there, I promise you that. Oh, shit, Ron Zook is long. Oh, damn, Ron Zook got hands. Holy shit.

I take back everything I said. That is 19 distinct stops. Wow. Yeah, 19 fucking stops. And Ron, I got one to watch. Ron Zuck is at 22. Wow. Jesus, what?

That's coachable. Is it, Ron? Hey, he's, Maryland. Rod Zook, bringing the fucking thunder. You're on the board. Anyone over 22 I'm keeping. Dude. Here's one to watch.

Rod Smith is 52 and is at 13. That's pretty good. See, the other thing we can count on here is none of these guys are retiring when they get six to you wait a second wait a second 52 years old with one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fourteen fifteen on his currently on a sixteenth stop fifty are you looking at mike bob diaco baby yeah defensive line coach for your north carolina tar heels oh no that's right that's right Mike Pajakian is 50 and has 14

Damn That's pretty good It would be even more What I love about this by now Is that by this time If you're not driving While listening to this Or maybe even if you are driving

Because we know y'all People are just screaming at their phones The ones that we're forgetting And I love that for y'all We can't hear you But I love the energy There's one super obvious one That I'm sure we're missing

And someone's going to say How did you miss the And it's listen The answer as always The answer as always is That was your job Thank you for doing your job. My answer is because we were out to get you personally,

and thank you for letting us know that it worked. We have space for you to perform. You're welcome. This is, I, man, Ron Zuck. This is, imagine, by the way. Imagine Ron Zook if he hadn't had several multi-year stints as head coach. He'd be in the 30s, brother. What a waste of time that was.

He could have been accumulating Wikipedia lines. I don't know. Spencer, do you think Ron Zook? waste of time as a head coach was a waste of time. I think while he was Florida's head coach, he should have been also giving himself titles just so he could keep the list growing, right? Sure. I'm also the baseball coach.

The funny thing there that I realized just happened is that much as I forget sometimes that Serber is a Clemson fan, I forget sometimes that Ryan is a Florida fan because he's so nice and normal. I just forget that you have this scaled heart. Yeah. I was there for all three. re-run Zuckiers. So it's helped sort of. Wait, which, so which year of your undergrad experience was a non-Zuckears?

It was four years last year. Oh, God. 9-11, losing to Tennessee. We've talked about things of that nature. I've shown my ass in so many ways in this regard. It's fine. Welcome, welcome to Gainesville. Here's Casey Closson to ruin your life.

Yeah, let's see. While I was at Florida, went to Miami for the game where Florida blew a 21 point lead and Brock Berlin chomped them off the field that was a Ronswick team went to Knoxville for the Dallas Baker penalty that Florida lost on that was a Ronswick team uh saw Elon that also no never mind wait that also means you were there for the Jabar Gaffney year doesn't it no I think that was 99 if I if no never mind or maybe it was no no that would be fall of 2000 wasn't that oh no that was oh no that was O two you're right yes yes yes yes yes yes So fuck you.

I don't feel sorry. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Therefore, the Florida State game. Was that the, no, that was, that might have been the old one year. I don't, we don't have to go down this road. This is getting dark and sad.

Can we talk about something happy like Charity? I'm really sorry that I brought it up. Can I steer you back out of this by interesting you in a Tim Lewis, current defensive coordinator at Boston College, 63 years of age with one, two, three, five, six, seven, eight, nine, seven. 11, 12, 30, 40, 15 stops. That's pretty good. Including the Falcons. Oh, God.

His Wikipedia picture is a falcon shirt. I didn't notice. That's how you know. Curse! You're always a falcon until you're not. This is some very, this is some very overlook hotel shit. I'm just going to go season by season through Falcons assistance. That's a good way to do it.

You know who's got a shitload of stops? Ray Morris. Reim Morris. Ray Morris, Sherdow. Let's evaluate you, sir. We are sitting on, uh, 17, 17. 17? I got a feeling that number will grow.

17 at 48, to be clear. Oh, that is dangerous. Neither mora has a ton. It's that surprise. It's not given their personalities. Neither mora, really? Neither, neither, Mora has a super. neither norah

super extensive they're in the like 12s 13s I was very there's some like there's some Texas state DC or something who's going to have 37

and be 50 years old and we've never heard of them he's not real young and he kind of got like slowly eased into this because of the New Hampshire bit but over the last like 10 years

Chip Kelly's really been ramping it up like do you remember that chip kelly was the eagles head coach yeah that's a thing that happened yeah it was really cool for like i remember the michael vick game it was awesome i tend to forget that he was the ucLA head coach of any sure sure chip kelly is is about to coach his third nfl team wait what yes he was he was he was the eagles coach for three years he did one year with the niners i forgot about that jesus yeah and now he's going to be with the raiders a team for holding on to coaches for long periods of time. Famously patient.

An institution. Hey, can I interest you guys in a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, twelve, thirteen, four. Can I interest you guys in a 56-year-old coach with 14 stops and two different returns back to a team that he had previously coached? I think Ron English That's a good one Rapacious birds That's a good one

Dirkotter only 16 Jason go ahead Yeah he was at Arizona State From 94 to 95 And as a GA And then returned to Arizona State From 98 to 02 as the DB's coach He then he switched jobs at Michigan

From defensive backs A defensive coordinator of course And then He was at Louisville in 08 as D.C And then since 2023 has been back at Louisville in that same capacity. Jason, a migratory bird. Jason, similarly only 16 stops for June Jones,

but Atlanta Falcons again. I'm sorry, is somebody employing June Jones right now? I don't know. I don't, I'm unclear if that's the case. This is a good time for me to say at 63 years old, Dino Babers is at 21 lines, but currently not employed, not renewed with Arizona.

So a potential 22nd school on the horizon. in this year? Let's go. So Dino's kind of showboating here, right? Like he could be running up the score, but instead he's resting on that Bajor. I'm putting him on the evaluating list. All right.

This is great croutin. I love this for us. Can we turn this into like a very, very serious like on three style? Yeah, I think we need to turn this into like, database. I think we need to turn this into a list and be like, hey, we need to, and one stat needs to be total stops. One stat needs to be rolls. Total rolls. One stat is percentage of times.

I'm only interested in total roles. Total lines on the wiki. Total lines is all I'm tracking. I would like some, I would like some sort of adjustment if you want to use it for like how many levels did you, how many, like if you stayed within the NFL, that's one thing. But if you like were like, I coached high school and NFL Europe and I coached on the moon one year. Like I think there should be some variance allowed for that personally. The one that is the most complete in that respect in terms of old school coach who actually did like, if you look at it, you go, oh wow, you crawled out of the sewer.

Jimmy Johnson. Because Jimmy Johnson, I'll give you. Louisiana Tech. Pick a you Memorial High School in 1966 as an assistant. Wichita State, Iowa State, Assistant, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Pittsburgh, Oklahoma State, Miami, Dallas Cowboys, Miami, Miami, Doll. offense like crawling all the way up that is the most like i have mastered the whole skill tree video game career one other maybe type to watch out for and this would be i think this would

necessarily have to be younger guys because of the schemes i'm thinking about but guys who have hot shit offenses that don't necessarily pan out after a couple of years for whatever set of circumstances. I'm thinking about like, you know, like if in terms of guys you want to put a tag on to watch, like your Phil Montgomery's. Yeah. That's a good one. Also, Broil's finalist, by the way. But he is he is 53 and is that stop number one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11 plus two job changes. Another kind of in that vein at 56 and has just finished his 14th stop as Chad Morris. Can I get Scott Lenehan, age 61, currently on stop 18?

Ooh, yeah. Mr. Pass on first down. That was the whole guy behind Scott Lerner. In the last 10 years has gone from Dallas Cowboys OC, LSU passing game coordinator, the year after they won the national championship. Offensive analysts at Missouri, offensive analyst at Montana, senior offensive analyst New Orleans Saints. has not made his way to the Atlanta Falcons thus far.

How Mummy 17? In the interest, yeah, in interest of Matt Mummy, surprisingly few. Hey, can I give you guys, okay, can I kind of marry Jason's affection for total stops and Ryan's appreciation for level skipping and come up with some kind of special award for a coach who, man, this is our rising star award. I have him. Okay. 43 years old he's like four months older than me who had one two three four only five stops as a coach but one two three four five job changes between those five coaching stops in addition to one two three four five six teams as a player and one year is an admin 43 years old sunny cumby oh wow yeah like he there's there's a lot of potential here and he got practice in journey manning at the player we got uh also another uh in this in the same tree we have uh roughen mcneal with 20

jeez yeah i'm like this is i'm like a goldfish because every time i hear one of these guys i'm surprised every time this is endlessly entertaining to me it's like peekaboo we're remembering some guys but in a very specific way No, I'm just like, I'm trying to figure out why I'm sleepless because it's bowl week, but also every time you guys say one of these names, I'm like, yeah, my bag. We're remembering guys who are quickly forgotten everywhere they go. Yeah. I think the other young achiever that I'm going to get because he is only 35, all right?

But right now he is on. That's upsetting. We can't know. He's on his ninth resume line at 35. And that would be Joe Brady. That would be the offense board. That's a good one. That's a really good one.

Yeah. So that's nine, but that's at 35. Brother, when these legs are this restless, that number's going up. That can go college or pro. That has like a lot of variation. And there's a lot of, we're tired of this potential. Listen. Yeah.

This brother might. Intangibles is going to be like its own complete separate analytical category. This brother's going to have an Italian coaching line on there. I found it a 23 on, again, the 2007. Falcons coaching staff. A guy I had never heard of, okay? Kevin Wolthausen was Bobby Petrano's defensive line coach who then left for the Las Vegas locomotives, Purdue, FIU, Yukon, back to Purdue, San Diego State, East Tennessee State. This guy's high on the damn list, and like the allegations against 2007 Falcons are growing stronger and stronger.

I thought for the longest time that there might not be any greater pain I could imagine than being David Cutcliffe's D.C. at Ole Miss, but being Bobby Petrino's D-line coach in Atlanta might blow that away. Every single guy on this staff was like, well, almost was like, yeah, 10s are just across the board. There's like one who's had under 10, this entire

staff. There needs to be data of his of this staff. Don, we call upon you. Andrew McGuire, if you're listening to this, please make us some maps. Tom Cable. That's a pretty big list. Tom Cable. Punching Tom Cable. Only about 15.

Not going to count at all. Of course. Yeah, I was looking at a model of stability, by the way, and diversity. That would be Jim Tom Sulla, the legend, the man himself. But that's not fair if you don't include the Monday Night Football Graphic, where it's like, plumber, man who moves filing cabinets, water salesman, like. Dog catcher. Dog. Dog.

In terms of chasing offenses, we have Jake Spavidol at his 10th stop, including one job change at the same school and a return to a previous school, and he's 39. Okay, okay. I like it, young man. Let's get these numbers up, though. Which, by the way, if you'd ask me how old Jake Spavidol was, I would have said, like, 53. Listen, I want to see your taxes get real confusing, like super confusing. Another in the 20 club is Robert Prince.

uh some guy what was with the falcons yes i'm just literally going through just falcons assistants dude i what's by the way jim tom sulla's resume fucking incredible because it starts at kataba and it's a strength and conditioning coach and then the middle decade is nothing but nfl europe it's like london monarchs scottish claymores berlin thunder championship with the ryan fire you know it I would like to point out that he is 23 and 1 over his last two seasons with the Rhine fire. That's right. It's incredible.

Jeff Jagadsinsky also in the 20 club. Already? Is there a way that the Falcons can pivot this and present themselves as like a finishing school? Cradle of coaches. Cradle of coaches. You start with the Falcons and then you go on to the world. Then you go everywhere. Yes.

Is this the semester at sea but for coaches? Like can the Atlanta Falcons do a college commercial? where Jeff Jaggisinski's like holding a beaker. What starts here changes the world. Who where Brian Van Gorders trying to eat a cello for some reason? I don't trust assets or possession. Music's not real because I can't see it.

That's incredible, man. 20? How old is Jeff Jaggisinski? What? Want to feel old? He could get another, at his pace, he could get another three or four in. Oh, easy. This sport is so warped. Only 61.

Yeah. And I got to tell you, these most recent jobs, they're not good. That's what you want to see. That's what you want to see. Not ideal. There's a lot of, when you click on the team that he worked for, it says this team was a, this thing. he's saying he's the vulture the reaper

the doom slayer approach it oh no yeah it's the flying Dutchman of coaching affairs in order I have forgotten one obvious one and he's 58 so there's room to grow Todd Grantham he's I feel like I think he's burned all the bridges

is the problem oh yeah that's see that's he's playing it on hard mode and you're like you can't ever move backwards you just said there was a job he just got though didn't you oh no wait i'm thinking of somebody else never mind oh no sorry i was i was i might have been referring to the fact that at he had three different jobs at virginia tech two at michigan state you said todd grantham and i was thinking of todd graham um todd grantham does have a new job by the way and i don't know if any of you know what it is but i don't think we've talked about it uh he is

Oh, wow. Newly coordinating at Oklahoma State. I think we did talk about this when it happens. I'm sure we'll be a blessed master personality for everyone involved. A new 24 for Rod Rust. Oh, damn. Another Falcons coach? Yeah, man.

He was a North Texas head coach a billion years ago. Man, how has Todd Grantham never worked for the Falcons? That seems impossible. Give it time. Yeah. Like, personality-wise, he's a great fit. I used to have a former head coach who would text me every Saturday when Todd Grathor was employed just to tell me. He's like, oh, God, this guy is such shit.

He is so shit. Oh, my God. Fuck. Jerry Glanville, solid. It looks like it's in the 15. Tom Allen has 13 stops at 55. Yeah. Like, Tom Allen, Tom Allen's seen some.

Tom Allen seen some. Tom Allen seen some things. But not quite. Do we have anything to say, switching? At this point, no. No. Like, I understand why you put it in your doc. Yeah, I mean, it's in there.

Given what we've just spent the last hour doing, we can't just be like, and now to talk about the Nicos too. Let's just say that, you know, we've been talking about guys moving places. And that is also happening. We're talking about the value of career mobility. If you would like to hear what we think about this, read Channel 6. Until Saturday at Theathletic.com.

I didn't write shit about it. My thoughts are mine. If you want to know what Ryan thinks about this, you must defeat him at Mortal Kombat. So let me map this out. If you write it at Channel 6, you have Spencer's thoughts and my thoughts, but you have to pay money. If you get to all until Saturday, you have Jason's thoughts and you don't have to pay money. Ryan has no thoughts and no way. That's right. That's right.

Ryan has no thoughts, but Ryan's lack of thoughts are free for you. If you would like to read Ryan's Buddhist pondering. Ladder match. Ladder match time. It's WrestleMania weekend. The Buddhist ladder match. The famous. To escape suffering, one must climb the ladder.

To win, you must not climb the ladder. We have no cash, no jobs, no hope. He who climbs the ladder is attached to what is at the top of the ladder. this is no money in the bank that's what we're doing here indeed we are indeed we are then it's the empty

briefcase match right as you reach right as you reach for the empty briefcase enlightenment comes and swipes the ladder from underneath you that's how it works

okay here's another weird one now I'm just going and look for weird ones but I don't know how old he is I can guess I guess approximately as the old guy on the podcast.

Spencer, use your old beam. Now I'm a Kojima character. Use your old guy power. Could I interest you in a guy who has had one, two, three, four, six, nine, ten jobs and all but two of those jobs

are at schools starting with the letter A. Sure, sure, yeah. That is Tim Horton, current special teams coordinator at Air Force, has been at, who played at Arkansas and has been at Appalachian State Air Force, Arkansas again, and Auburn. So he just picked his jobs based on.

Maybe it's to start with A? Can't go there. One year at, one year at K-State and one year at Van Gogh. This feels like a lot of, well, you want your business the name to start with an A, so it's first in the phone book. Sure. This feels like he's trying to do a side quest. Like he's beat the game, but now he's going back to like do everything in order. collecting all the moons

I love it shall we do some podcast business sure podcast business what's a business podcast business doing business

podcast business my resume is real long he's got like 25 slots and on Monty Kiffin go look on Monty Kiffin needs a good one I keep thinking Monty Kiffin isn't going to be that long No I mean I think it's pretty long

It's not good it is That is significant. It's impressive. It's not as long as you would think it would be. It's not Hugh Jackson long, but it's like, I think it's 18 stops, 18 or 19 stops. It's pretty good. He's in the 20 club. Wow.

He's the 20 club. Nice. All right. Podcast business this week. His son really bailed him out at the end there. This week. Our son that's ever happened. The real nepotism in college football.

Mike Kiffin was a compiler. Monty Kiffin was a nepo dad The first nepo dad UNC needs to start shitting All over Monty Kiffin If they want Or you think this is bad Well

No wait I just realized Is TikTok gonna bring us Like a new era of nepo parents Yes and I don't like that at all Although I guess if you count Like Chantrell Henderson's dad We already had a nepo parent Yeah Billy Ray Cyrus

Sorry what were you saying This week is Spencer I'm sorry that Billy Ray Cyrus is coasting off of Miley's talent. Why? Billy, I'm sorry, that man wrote achy, breaky heart. Did he write it? Did he write that?

And did anyone need to write it? No chance. I don't actually know if he wrote it. I'm pretty sure that song just sort of like emerged. This is discernible information. Sorry, that was written by Don Von Truss. Eat shit. It was also Billy's version was a cup.

Wow. It wasn't a fraud. Wow. Well, when he's talking about all yourself a Nashville. It's off the album, Some Gave All, which describes his songwriters. something took all never forget that man just working out in his yard

in my neighborhood in jeans right he would like work out in the driveway he worked out in jeans and boots in his front yard I guess it was worth it because it led to his career as an actor

in David Lynch films so it all turned out fine I guess the plan was fulfilled the natural pipeline podcast business podcast business that's right this week

this week this week this week the EDSBS charity bowl is on. It is on, on, on, on. If you are hearing this and the sound of my voice, you, you should donate because we are giving to a Great Cause New American Pathways, a refugee service provider in the Atlanta area. Is this an urgent need? Hell yes, it is. If you looked around, absolutely. New American Pathways need your help more than ever to help serve the refugees newly arrived and otherwise in the Atlanta area. Right now, we're We are currently sitting at $274,000, $381 off the big ticker. We need to get to $500,000.

To be clear, that's $275,000 just about that we have raised in approximately 31 hours. 31 hours, but we're... This is insane? Yes, but we're going to boot this in its ass, because what you're going to do right now, is you're going to go to EDSBScharitybowl.com, and you are going to give. And when you give, you're going to put your donation in the form of a score or a meaningful number to your college football team. For instance, today, I donated 5555 to reflect the 500 nature of Billy Napier's record at the University of Florida. Perfectly balanced as all things should be.

Can I give you a really cool one that somebody found? This is from user Suez 13 who went through Cam Ward. stats to try and find a good donation number for Miami. Do you know how many completions Cam Ward through last year? A 305. Oh, that's fun. That's fun. Love it.

I love it when that happens. My favorite thing that's happening in the bowl right now is a whole bunch of people fighting over which tiny university technically has the largest wooden dome built for athletics purposes. I've seen one donation for the amount of lumber stacked in to end. It took to build the dome. I've seen another guy who

donated by the volume of snow. The roof was calculated to be able to hold. We can get baroque with this, is what I'm saying. If you don't have a star running back or a particular year or something else you want to commemorate, you can get real granular with it. And every year these get more creative and more fun.

I also like that the counter shows total donations which like to me speaks to the power of even tiny donations you're still you're adding to both numbers you're making like both numbers look and feel and be more meaningful yeah we are at we are at 1548 which on pace to blow away our record of individual donations and i spoke to this a little bit earlier but if i can do it now i have access to all these numbers in the back so i can see and i can tell you that one thing from year to year that is remarkably consistent, we have a handful of mega donors, right? There are people who will give like $10,000. When I say there's people,

I mean, there's like five of these people. The vast, vast majority of donations that we get for this thing, including the vast, vast majority of donations from Michigan who win this thing every year for the past decade or so are $20 or less. It is absolutely a volume game. And if you want to beat Michigan and, God, at this point, pretty much everybody does. The key is not to find a mega booster from your school and get them to become a mega donor for us. The key is to rope in your friends, as many friends as possible, and get everybody to give 10 bucks and get them to get their friends to give 10 bucks. Sounds like a pyramid scheme. It is, but we don't get to keep any of the money. It should make you feel better that we don't get to keep any of the money.

Do it a Golick Jr. does every year and bully your fellow fans at the donating. That's right. We love Mike Golick's participation because for many, many years, we're over it now, but for many, many years, apart from the AL.com guys and SB Nation's Marquette blog, there was not a lot of buy-in from our industry peers outside of our, like, immediate orbit. And the first two people from outside, like, SB Nation proper, who really, like, took this back to their own networks and started agitating for donations of their own were Mike Gulloch Jr. and Mina Kimes and love them forever for that.

Holly, can I interview you for the until Saturday newsletter at Theathletic.com about this? Would you rather interview Spencer? How about both of you? I'll ask Spencer about Warhammer. Okay. Yeah, I would love to. Can I, Holly... In the New York Times. Can I, Holly, if I can reference...

To this day, by the way, I had Bubba Prague run a Nexus search on this last year. To this day, the only there's been one one news story outside of a sports blog that's ever been written about this we've been this is our 19th time doing this no newspaper apparently has ever thought it's remarkable that a bunch of idiot rednecks with a football blog and a podcast raised millions of dollars for charity every year the one news story that has existed about this since 2008 is on a l.com so yeah let's just skip everybody in the middle and go straight to the holy mother new york dark times this is going to be done. By the way, we got little, we got video messages, by the way, from a number of our peers we threw in for this. So, shouts out to people like, you're listening to this on Wednesday, April 16th. So those are going to start, those are going to start populating on blue sky. Those will be up on blue sky by the time. Yeah, I got a couple out already. Saw Chris Vanini's face telling everybody to donate.

Appreciate that. Lucy Rodin. Saw that as well. Some people think of Chris Finini as more of like a machine than a man. It turns out he's a person and he's very generous. I don't know. Exoskeletons are powerful. Who's to say? And as Chris proves, as Chris proves, they can be generous as well. Listen, Chris was at our Atlanta Live show watching his Detroit Lions collapse in the playoffs. Batman has a strong system that is fortified him. Yeah, yeah. Ryan, could you give a capsule version of your video?

Because yours is my favorite that we've had so far. Using as one hypothetical example, the Philadelphia Eagles beating the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl, I helped walk, you can find this on Instagram and on Blue Sky. I'm just going to walk you through, like how to come up with some alternative donation amounts if you want it. It doesn't always have to be a score. Maybe a score, maybe your team lost, but you still want to come up with a score with a good donation to dunk on your opponent with, and I'm here to help you with that.

I am also right now, Holly, on moneycanon.org. Are we allowed to talk about this now? Yeah, we can. It's live. It's also working, which is absolutely too. terrifying to me. We built something new for y'all this year. So I want to highlight, because MoneyCanada.org allows me to do so, a couple of

rivalries that are, I was going to be like, let's look at some lopsided rivalries, but that doesn't feel in the spirit. Instead, I want to highlight some rivalries where with a little push, the team that's on, that's down right now, could jump ahead. Colorado, this is current as of about

10 minutes before we started recording, by the way. Colorado, Colorado State, as of the time of recording, Rams, you are $30 behind taking the lead basically. Virginia Tech UVA, Commonwealth Cup, separated by $22 at this point. Georgia State, Georgia, Georgia Southern, we're talking like a $75 gap between the two of you. Marshall, with $135, you can jump ahead of West Virginia. Seems like it would be a valuable thing for you. Texas A&M in Texas, separated by about $2,000.

$150 right now. Lots of room. That, by the way, that's a late-breaking one because Texas came out this morning. Stop me if you've heard this happened before. Texas came out this morning with a commanding, I would say embarrassing lead over A&M. And it turns out A&M doesn't love that. No. No, they didn't have great.

Despite the fact, they're not right. We also had for the first time today, there may have been earlier ones. I'm sorry, the mentions are a fire hose right now because y'all are boundlessly generous. but we did have our first section 336 donations today. We've had a couple of those. We're going to make it snow. I was like,

ah, fuck, we should have made section 336 ski club merch. That was a real. Yeah, we've gotten several donations explicitly from the 336 ski team. Are there other lopsided donations on, rivalries on here? Yes.

The Egg Bowl. That said, we're recording this on Tuesday. You have lots of time to close the gap. It doesn't matter what the gap. is now it matters what the gap is when charity bowl is done for the year so can we mention bedlam because it's so it's so perfect i betelm makes me feel bad because i'm pretty sure like i know the one or two people who have contributed to the Oklahoma state side of this and i they should call and i thank them and i'm sorry that their friends aren't backing them up we we think everybody but it's

listen this is only funny because you know as as we all know i don't even like saying this a number of things can happen when you play bedlam. And right now, the first thing that usually happens is happening. Todd Graham, you've had 25 fucking jobs. Give some money to the charity bowl on behalf of your current employer, Oklahoma State. You piece of shit. Cheapoon's dead. You can't get fired.

That's right. What does it matter? I just want to note Kennesaw State, 2,870 Liberty Zero. Ooh, buddy. Kennesaw State was in the top five in our first leaderboard that came out yesterday. Thanks largely to, I think everybody, at one point earlier, everybody from Kennesaw State was somebody I knew as either a host of this podcast or a reader of this podcast.

So thank you all especially. Yeah. By the way, Jason, that's the second time that Kennesaw State has stunned Liberty. We also knocked him out of March, Matt, so three. Three. Oh, also, just let's point this out because I thought sometimes teams will jump out with one huge, donation and then fade down the stretch it happens but in the top five and hovering there all day syracuse syracuse is syracuse is beating ass this year that's good shit something very

funny happened with the syracuse donation because a couple things happened at once last night as we were counting these donations uh i saw a syracuse alum flashed by on the timeline and said i am going to match every single other syracuse donation at the end of this week and i was like oh that's cool because Syracuse is not traditionally a huge performer on this particular scoreboard. And then I flipped over to the spreadsheet and saw we had just gotten a $10,000 Syracuse donation. Like that man's going to be very upset. And the third thing that happened was flipping back to the original screen and realizing that thankfully these were the same person. He's going to bid against himself, though.

That's it. The most dangerous game. I'm going to play my ultimate opponent. He's going to double his own donation, but we appreciate you, sir. And yeah, Syracuse is in the top five right now. now as of right before this recording. Our top five goes, Michigan 1, Protect Trans Kids University, go Blue Sharks 2, Florida, 3. Ohio State 4 coming up, and Syracuse at 5 with traditional runner-up, Georgia Tech,

all the way down at 6. Can we have the uncomfortable conversation now? The one that Tennessee fell out of the top 25, and I'm mad about it? No, because there's still time, and I'm confident the balls flush with NIL cash that they don't have anything to use for right now. Yeah, step up. if you embarrass me this year, I swear to God. Okay. Other uncomfortable conversation.

So, we haven't talked about a stretch goal for Spencer because the stretch goal for Spencer is a lie. It is a lie perpetrated upon the listener and the co-host, if we're being honest, where promises are offered. Delightful. Perpetrated by who, Ryan? Perpetrated by Spencer Hall and Spencer Hall alone. There go.

Help is offered. Ryan has anybody ever tried to give Spencer an easy solution to some of his elaborate problems that he has refused to take multiple times we've had offers to have to get tickets to Spencer to the sphere to see what was it the Grateful Dead show there mm-hmm uh-huh declined we've had suggestions for how he could pay off the hundreds of beers that he owes rejected a way to put it we've had so like I will get in a car with Jinko's varying sizes and and rental golf clubs and take Spencer out he won't answer the door if I do that I know that so Spencer I would like to probably

would. I'd be like, did you really do that, Ryan? Yeah, you probably would. Spencer, you say you probably

would, but let me just point out that when Ryan and I came to you with the easy and easy to do suggestion of, hey, let's say,

let's keep track of every beer purchased at the live show and pay for all the beer purchased at the live show and say that

all of those beers are beers are beers that we have taken from Spencer and given to you and use that to pay down the beer debt.

And you said, nah. He said no. Not with a solution of your own. So, just, nah. So I'm wondering maybe if, if, while everything we're talking about is the fault of Spencer and Spencer alone, it should be the shame that lives in his heart at all times. Yeah, get in line.

What else is that? I wonder if we as co-hosts could do a better job off, maybe are we expecting too much? Could we set the bar at a more achievable level? And so I'd like, I mean, okay, but if we raise a million fucking dollars, is there such a thing as setting the bar too high? Let me, let me, let me, can he expend a modicum of effort? Here's, here's what I would like to propose, and I want to see if Spencer will go with it. This is, this is a stretch goal purely from my own imagination, and I'm going to throw it out there, and Spencer, you can say yes or no. But if you say yes, I need you to actually commit to it this year, and we will help you commit to it, okay?

All right. If we hit, I'm listening, million dollars is the stretch goal, yes? Yeah. If? Well, we're not there yet. We got to hit 500,000 first. And we're more than halfway there. For the sake of discussion, let's say that a million dollars is our stretch goal.

Is that okay with you, Holly? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it is. It's going to be if we hit 500,000. If the charity bowl raises a million dollars, Spencer, I want you to pay for a movie theater in Atlanta to be rented out and do one screening of Goodfellas. And I want us to offer up tickets for free to our audience. And the four of us will go with them just to watch Goodfellas. in a movie theater.

I want, we will help you find the movie theater. If you want, we will help throw in on the cost of this, but it's definitely got to come a big part from your pocket. If we hit a million dollars, will you go see Goodfellas with a bunch of people in a movie theater? Ryan, why Goodfellas? Spencer, why Goodfellas? Because it's fucking awesome?

It sucks, yes. I'm trying to give him, he doesn't want to play golf. He won't even say the word basketball. He doesn't want to see. He's sexually uncomfortable. He doesn't want to see the Grateful Dead. He will wear Jinkos to Goodfellas. He might wear Jinkos, but...

Oh, we get to miss so many snacks. But I know Spencer would like to... I know Spencer would have a good time if he got to see Goodfellas in a movie theater. And so I feel like this is an equal part, carrot, and stick. Now, what I'm wondering... Yeah. Oh, my God. No, go ahead, but he can ask questions.

It's cool. Is, uh... Is, uh, is how much does it cost to actually get the movie. Can you show whatever you want? At a lot of movie theaters, you can just, if it's for like a private event

that you're not sort of like selling tickets to, which we would not, you can sort of show whatever you want. Yes. Okay. All right. I'm good. I'm good with that.

I can do that. Okay. Okay. Is this a good time, Ryan, to tell you that if folks want future updates on what the stretch goal is and where it will happen, that while the web,

website does not currently yet exist, I have purchased and do own Spencer owes me 400 beers.com. It's going to get a lot of use. I'm sorry, I think it's actually Spencer owes me 400 beers.org. Dot info. Dot info. Okay. It was going to be dot horse, but that turned out to be prohibitively expensive for some reason. I just for the sake of like getting us back in a good direction, I need a stretch goal that Spencer

will actually perform this year. Because he's gotten tattoos for the record. No, he's got two tattoos. He put permanent marks on his body and then just wait. It's not like he won't do this. We did a live show in Ann Arbor. Specifically because most of you get a tattoo of Jinkos. No.

On your legs. We got a tattoo of 400 beers. Will you put a Jinko's tattoo on one of your current tattoos? Will you wear Goodfellist-themed Jinkas? Can we get like a little paper doll? Yeah, absolutely. What, Pesci on the leg? I'll cut out jinkos for your current tattoos.

Okay. If we airbrush Joe Pesci's entire body down the leg of one of the jinkos. What do you mean if? When? When we do that. Okay. Because now that you, listen, I could make the worst looking Joe Pesci on a pair of jeans with my airbrush. I could do that.

Can we express for one moment the appreciation that Spencer keeps just completely bailing on every stretch. goal we've had for the past like eight years and y'all keep running the score up anyway really appreciate that yes and and to be honest i want to do this for the audience as much as anybody else like i would like a stretch goal that the audience can actually see come to fruition for the first time and sometime that's all yeah plus i i want to go see goodfells in a movie theater it is spencer owes me 400 beers dot org okay good that org thank you further updates await you at some point it doesn't like like i own the domain but there's nothing on it yet so you don't need to go there yet but when we have stretch goal updates, they will be there. If you do have a connection with an Atlanta movie

theater or you are Martin Scorsese, please reach out and let us know. If you are Francesca Scorsese. If you are any Scorsese, please ask him. Do you don't get Martin involved? He's going to make us watch silence. He's going to be like, no, you guys should watch silence. It'll be a much better group endeavor. He's down. Marty, don't call us. Spencer, if you complain about one more thing, it's going to be the revenant. I want to. I'm going to tell you it's good fellas. I had a great time watching The Revenant. It would be very funny if we were like, all right, everybody, here we are all getting ready to watch one of Spencer's favorite movies, and then Moulin Rouge came on the screen.

How did you know, Ryan? Hey, guys, we know that it's been a long year and everybody needs a laugh. Here's Grizzly, man.