Shutdown Fullcast - The Larry King College Football Recap Episode

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

-- Intro: Larry King is insane, and Spencer cannot pronounce "Tyra"  -- Jet Pack Guy is the only person fully embracing 2020, and even he wouldn't land at South Carolina/Auburn -- Ryan believes Georgia failed in the second half against Bama due to simple math -- "Not only do they never run the ball, but they are terrible at it when they do" -- Jason, accurately, on Mississippi State -- How the Pac-12 might end up with no ranked teams -- Nothing in UNC/Florida State made any sense! -- A closing discussion of Larry King and why he is a legit crazy person  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If this dude had ever had to change a diaper in his life, I feel like this would have gone a lot differently. Oh, yeah. Larry doesn't change diapers. I'm just now seeing his mugshot. Oh, you've never seen that? Oh, yeah. I mean, I've never seen it before. But I think what it is is when you scroll down the wiki page, you get past all the divorces, and then bam, the very first image is mugshot when he was already on divorce.

One, two, three, four, close to number five. what was he arrested for my grand larceny by a former business partner nice ooh again why are you doing this much so well actually spencer this is when he got fired from w iod so perhaps these things were perhaps these were connected perhaps this is what led to the infamous night at the track Orlando you're on the air this fan's entire life just makes me so fucking tired oh my god

why would you do any of this he had a heart attack in 1987 that just tells you that heart attacks aren't real he had heart attack in 1987 and I'm pretty sure he had like five wives after that slow the fuck down he's had two entire marriages since why why would he slow down now so two of these marriages only lasted one year so the um the my year with larry the mugshot i had to go to the the accuser's website the accuser's wikipedia page to figure out what it was about this dude was like big in the world of finance and like one of the first corporate raiders and apparently Larry king this man into giving into giving him

$48,000 to influence President Richard Nixon's incoming attorney general into reviewing a past conviction this dude had like he told this extremely wealthy man give me $4,800

I will get Nixon's AG to party you? Is there some kind of tax thing where it was like below $5,000 and he didn't have to report it or something? No, no, because that's 10,000, so it would have like... No, I'm wondering if it was different then. Oh, the reporting inquiries?

Because like 48 is weirdly specific. That just feels like Larry King being like 50s too greedy. 485. That's what I... No, let me tell you... Because I'm a man of the people. Let me tell you about Larry King and Greed under the legacy entry, okay? Which is this.

That on two occasions, Larry King has told Conan O'Brien, that he wishes to be cryonically preserved upon death what is like conan is responsible for this or is this when he was on conan's show or was he like assigning conan to this he actually had a dinner with friends to tell them that he was really really keen on being cryonically frozen and preserved read the friend list

i am about to read the friend list and then we can hang up which is the friend list is at this dinner with the fall following, Larry's close friends, Conan O'Brien, Tira Banks. Tyra Banks. Tira. Have you said Tira? Shaquille O'Neal. That's Shaquille.

That's Shaquille. That's Shaquille. Seth McFarlane. What? Jack Dorsey, Quincy Jones, and Russell Brand. Oh. Now Quincy Jones, I could see Larry hanging out with because they're both insane. Sure, Russell Brand as well.

Yeah. But he was like, I got to have Shaq. I got to have Family Guy. I got to have Twitter, Jack. Tyra Banks. Tira Banks. Tira. Tera.

So mad at you. I'm so glad that's not in the show. Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. Better. You're listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I'm Spencer Hall, and I want to tell you about the only man I know who's made 2020 work. The only person who has taken all of that opportunity that you've had, staying mostly at home for seven months,

or deciding that biology and epidemiology isn't real and just giving up. It might be you too. but the only person who's taking advantage of all this time and made their dreams come true. Yeah, we're going to talk about the weekend that was in college football. But before that, I want to celebrate somebody who really has decided to embrace human potential and take all that spare time and do what they want it, follow their dreams, and make them manifest in the material world. Jason Kirk, would you like to hear about the one person I think who's done this?

so at first when you said my name i was like wait i you cannot possibly be describing me are you are you jetpack guy jetpack jason so uh since since when you say the person who has it all together in 2020 and then you say my name clearly these are two different people so i would like to hear about this other person who does have it all together in 2020 a clever way of denying that you are jetpack guy it's incredible Nazis are back and so it's was the rocketeer just in time uh yeah so uh date line october 14th 2020 l a international airport officials are investigating reports of someone wearing a jetpack in the flight path the second such report in little over a month when you say wearing a jetpack

a jet pack no no no when you say wearing a jet pack Or operating? They saw a man in a jetpack. That's the quote I have. Was he walking? No. He was at 6,500 feet. There we go.

Above the ground. And was reported by a China Airlines crew member. That's where this starts to feel like a work, frankly. At one, by the way, was this early in the morning? Was this maybe late at night when somebody was trying to be. discrete maybe low key nope nope the china airlines crew member reported seeing what appeared to be someone in a jetpack roughly seven miles northwest of the airport around 1 45 p.m on a wednesday right after lunch when everybody's sleepy that's just wait until it's like you can't jetpack on an

empty stomach you can't get up to 6500 feet that's the thing not only has has this person done this twice in the last month they were at 6,500 feet that's a that's over a mile off the ground the rocketeer is a criminally underrated film and should have gotten the love and extended universe that is today granted to marvel comics agreed 100 percent and timothy dalton deserve the work joe johnston is a god but but damn like that's not i don't know what the acceptable level of off the groundness is here for for your jetpacking I just know that a full over a mile, that's too much. That's way too much.

But he did it. And that's what matters. Twice that we know about. So 6,500, is that what you said? Yeah. So I searched Jetpack Altitude Record. It looks like this is sort of a speed running thing we have going on where the record is just falling constantly because Google says 5905 was the record, 6,000. the record all of these articles are from 2020 so like a bored nation is devoting its time to

crushing the jetpack record over and over again i'm so glad that our nation's uncles have finally had enough time in their homes that have now taken to the skies well you say let's be clear we don't know this is a dude but this is a dude right yeah maybe but isn't that what a lady doing it would want you to think so a company called jetpack aviation says it can reach 15,000 feet so we've got we can we've got a long way to go 50 sure I can I'm not actually clicking on any articles at all because fuck that I'm just looking at like the previews in Google so 15,000 feet that's the bar get on it if you're only doing 6,000 you are not maximizing potential whatsoever yeah LAX jetpack uncle if you're listening Jason just dropped a challenge to you well Spencer you say 6,500 feet is too far, right? I think anything over 15. But what if I tell you that?

Over 15 or 1,500? 15 feet. Okay. What's the point of having a jet pack? To dunk. So I could just buzz around your heads like a moth, just going, whoa! Okay, never mind. That is funny.

What if I told you that 6,500 feet was still a good side off of Bo Nix's passing total last year. 6,500 feet is 2,100,000, about 2,166 yards. And last year, Bo Nix passed for 2542. So this jetpacker, who you're so impressed by, is still 1,200 feet away from true freshman Bo Nix's rookie passing total. Is Bo Nix the true rocketeer? Is Bo Nix the jetpack, the jetpack bandit?

Meanwhile, Case Keenham did. hit 15,000 feet three different college seasons see saying good lord what do you do i mean we could talk about bo necks and i would love to i would just like to put this i'd rather talk about jet packs in your mind if you were up 15,000 feet in a jetpack there is no way you're going your mind's going to be right because you're going to look at it and go i i've gone far too high in a vehicle supported only by rocket boots and what I would

like I know this isn't what it actually runs on but I just imagine that if you're an uncle in a jetpack it's running off a couple of propane tanks that you got at the gas station right and do you really know if they're actually full they felt full but I can't know

that's exactly that is such a dad response oh they felt full yeah just like that is any sort of defense be up there in the air and be like oh i really wish i hadn't made burgers with these before so i really could use that little extra around uh 15 000 feet is when oxygen is only about 50% of what we are used to here so once just like bo necks is completion rate it's it's it's a solid 54 sir uh but yeah around there you're you're getting the good

thoughts your brain is so we've got brain is working twice as hard all right all right All right, so uncles with impaired judgment have taken to our nation's skies. I can't imagine a better into the year. Monarch butterflies can fly 11,000 feet. Are you going to let a fucking butterfly out soar you? Jason, calling out the rocket pack community. Love to hear it. That's what's going to happen.

Some guys can be like, I ain't no bitchy ass butterfly. I'm going to go higher than that. And at 15,000 feet, you're so far away. You can't see South Carolina beat Auburn. It's just like a little speck down there. That's a compelling argument. I'm just saying if you had to say what kind of fan is going to L.A.X. and firing up a jetpack for fun, disgruntled Auburnal Auburn fan feels very on brand.

I don't know, Ryan. They have that big old Jumbotron at Jordan Hurst Stadium. They could see that some bit from space. That would be if they were losing at home to South Carolina, of course. They lost in the other place. But in about 70 years, they'll get there. revenge chance at jordan horr stadium the first time but not the last time auburn fans are going to lose in that other place in their lifetimes you're

descending from 15 000 feet you come down through the clouds and behold the glory and the majesty that is our blessed mother earth and yet the first thing you see is a stadium full of fans the faint sounds of sandstorm wafting up from it now you hear and then you hear that chicken you hear the chicken you hear the and you know what you're doing jetpack man back back to space you know what sandstorm sounds like at that distance it's not that different from a sputtering propane engine is it but you might die randy oh it'd be better than land in there can i talk for just a moment about the literal notion of earth is our mother and how sick of our collective shit

she must be. Yeah. Like we say Mother Earth a lot, but think about the notion of Mother, not in the Gaia all embracing Mother Earth sense, but think of it as the Mother Earth who is on her eighth load of laundry and her 60th hour of work,

and it is Wednesday. And all of a sudden, somebody on Memorial Drive in Atlanta throws an entire fish dinner out of their window, as I have seen. In the styrofoam? Yeah, she's had it. Yeah.

I regret to her. point in you i think this is more of a rose for emily situation so um i think this is a good that's an excellent segue right you gave us like four segways that's amazing i did my best you're like a figure skater who's had to take a shot of nova cane like right before the competition so you're trying to get in all the axles before the four where it's yeah yeah you did and and you gave you gave us like four attempts to talk about Auburn South Carolina smoothly. Also, you look beautiful in Lycra. You do. Thank you.

And like a kid who refuses to pee and then peas themselves in the back of the car because I didn't like the look of that exit. Yeah. I like how you switched to first person in the middle of that metaphor. We skipped all of them. We skipped all of them. So, I don't know. South Carolina, Auburn, let me just say

this. Bo Nix. I don't think Bo Nicks should throw the ball 47 times in one game. He probably shouldn't throw the ball 47 times in two games. we've been joking for weeks about the side effects of bow knicks but i'm a lot more worried about the direct immediate effects of bo necks the things he's trying to do on purpose 47 passes is a nearly fatal dose of bo necks okay if you take 47 passes worth of bo necks dial 911 because your team is in trouble he threw three picks three you know there's picks and then there's picks there's picks there's picks that you throw with your whole ass off your back foot and there's picks that you kind of half-ass like stets and bennett's picks they were i'm going to give them like c pluses in terms of zest yes let's talk about multiple interception quarterbacks such as stetson bennett and bennett and bownicks there were a few there were a few

moving on but yeah i i don't think i don't think it's like that albren's confusing as hell if anyone understands what they're doing as a team please explain it to me because i just like them mysterious in the bad way. I tell you what, though, we said earlier in the season that we resented Auburn for throwing their higher gus slash fire gusts cards down on the table so early in the year. They're making it zesty. This is the very confusing thing about Auburn, by the way. The, you have one?

Okay. No, no, no. The most confusing thing is that I thought they would work if they figured out a run game. because the knock on them has been that if they cannot run the ball, then they absolutely cannot do anything else, right? Right. Thank you to ESPN AutoPlay ads for interrupting our show. That's a great way to run a website in 2020.

They're a fine company. I think they're great. No problems. They actually figured out a way to run the ball. I thought that was the fix. I thought that was it. They got Tank Biggsby, who, by the way, you got a running back name Tank Biggsby.

You should be way better than this. How the hell is that guy not at Kentucky? Tank Biggsby. Well, because his name isn't like Torgo or tobacco leaf. Also, he's not shaped like his name. No. If he was shaped like his name, he would be at Kentucky. Okay, fair enough.

He would be. Or Jocko or some weird name that you would only have on a Kentucky team. Tank Bigsby isn't weird? It's perfectly normal name in Alabama. It's perfect. Tank. It's the third most popular boy's name. this year well as the doctor said holding up a mirror to the second doctor holding a needle and

threads suit yourself yeah i thought they figured it out with tank pigsby that was good no it was good it was good no no too late uh but i thought they'd figured it out and evidently not evidently we just needed to instead of giving tank bigsby more carries we needed to throw the ball 47 times with bow nicks who bow nicks completed 24 of those 24 of those so robust 50% approximate passing yeah it's just this is making me sad and a thing a thing i learned with um friend and colleague caroline darnie um this was the first time mostly because they have not played very much in this time span but this was the first time uh south carolina has beat Auburn since Larry King was 13 days old oh god yep now you're thinking about

Larry King as a baby I think he looks exactly the same but just with tiny legs hello his first words were garleek was very moving I had something dialed up to make us feel better after all that but the notion of Larry King as a baby has but it out of my mind. No, it hasn't. Friends and neighbors, by the time you hear this show on tomorrow, October 19th, we will be less than a week away from our very first year Dwarf and Brandstadter, remote in Michigan Stadium. Home Alone call of the year. Oh, ho! Oh, Chicago. I will be listening to this exclusively next weekend. I... And not just because Tennessee is playing Alabama.

you know what i'm most excited for is for everybody who has been watching everyone else who just jumped on to the football bandwagon a month or so earlier than the extremely prudent and wise oh so wise and virtuous big ten i can't wait for the big ten to come out and look just like everyone else has looked which is like absolute shit what coach are you most looking forward to losing their utter minds as they be hold the chaos on the field on a shortened season with short and practice time who is going to handle this the absolute worst it is really too bad that mark dantonio is gone it's going to be harbaugh i was going to say scott frost but all right harbaw's going to be great scott frost is so emotionless i don't feel like you're going to get much of a pop there but harbaw harbaw's going to give you a show we're going to see some veins in that man's neck that we didn't know previously existed in human anatomy yeah It's just going to look like just a bunch of ropes and wires.

It'll be beautiful because he's not ready. He's not ready for Michigan and not be able to tackle, which has been the number one thing if you said, well, how has COVID-19 affected college football and how college football looks? The inability to tackle and all of that contact and reps and practice that you didn't get because you had COVID, yeah, that's where it's going to show up.

And Michigan has relied a lot on their defense to keep them in games when their offense has, is the word struggle too strong i don't think so flailed uh developed on the field before our eyes learned matured and like all maturation puberty takes a long time it's awkward there's fits and starts and emotional breakdowns there's a hair down there you'll be a man very disturbing direction who's here to help you through it that's jim harbaw i was going to say that's the okay Imagine Jim Harbaugh giving the talk. He's got kids.

Nope. Going to go right back to baby Larry King. Thank you. All right. That's a lot. He has a lot of kids, too. Perhaps somebody should give him the talk. That's how it happens.

What have I been doing? I've been running counter-right. It's crazy. Now I'm upset. Yep. You did it. I did. Just like Jim Harbaugh.

Just like Jim Harbaugh. Um, I don't know. Did Alabama and Georgia play this week? Oh, they did. They did. Woo, they've dogs as hell, ain't they? Woo! What's that coming down the track?

Three rushing. I don't understand that reference and I won't respond. Three rushing attempts in the second half. God damn it. That's not quite accurate. It's not, but. It should be pointed out, though, that by the way, that in case you wondered whether Georgia was going to actually not panic and freak out,

in case you wondered if they were going to keep their composure and stay in the game and stick to the plan hell no they lost the lead after jalen wattle scored a what i think was a 142 yard touchdown that's correct it felt it felt that long just a great run by steve sarkesian yeah just an amazing throw by steve sarkesian great pass by him great catch by steve sarkesian Gary Danielson pulled this same shit Did you hear this? Same thing, same thing God

Just not Jill and Waddle I have a different perspective on it now I think he's doing it to tweak Nick Sabin and I think it's very funny Oh never mind I take it back That is very funny Giving credit to an assistant Wait

Speaking of Nick's assistance We have to talk about the other one There are Kirby No the Brain King Oh the Brain King Nick's Brain King Pete Golding

Pete Golding the Nick Saban I'm sorry I caught you unprepared No the Nick Saban disciple who looks like He looks like If you put

All of If you put Will Farrell and John C. Riley's characters in stepbrothers Into the fly machine Yeah It would get He's

He looks like he was Assembled from pieces Of other people And it's Nick So maybe Okay, here's what I want you to do, both you, the listener, and you, my, my fellows on this show. If you don't know what he looks like, pull up a picture of Pete Golding. Now, Jason, how old do you think Pete Golding is?

Hang on, and let me pull up a picture of Pete Golding. Pull up a picture of Pete Golding. And tell me how, yeah, we've seen this guy before. How old do you think that person is? Oh, God. He's younger than he looks. I know that much. 28.

Uh, 35. Okay. Holly, what's your guess? 28. 31. Jason was closest. He's 36. That's a 36 year old man.

Wow. If I told you that there was a frat brother named Gooch and I had to ask you to assign a picture to him, you'd pick that picture. That's the guy. Gooch. Did I ever tell you all the guy named Gooch, spelled Gooch, he used to be our mayor in my hometown. We had a mayor gooch. You did not. He was a moderate because he was in the middle.

Oh, God, damn it. Yeah, Pete Golding is the man who I imagine will take the pizza from the garbage if it's still in it in the office, though, because the office garbage cans are clean. You can't throw away good pizza like that. If Michelangelo was a human man, and I mean the Ninja Turtle, not the artist. Oh, thank you. Because that one was. Wait, what? Michelangelo, the Ninja Turtle.

No, no, no, no. Wait, back up. Sorry. What man? The, it's fine. I'm saying Michelangelo, the Ninja Turtle would be Pete Golding if he were human. What about the other things? I thought you were saying there was a person named Michelangelo for a minute.

No, I would never suggest that. Yeah, I was with Jason. I thought like, oh, was there a person who was a ninja turtle? I need to know about this. April O'Neill. Booger McFarlane looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle. He really does. He can reach Spencer, Booger, when you hear this.

He will not care. I have a feeling, Booger is the kind of person who's like, that man is frivolous. He swole Raphael. Stats are stupid. I hate you. I have a special toy that I ride around the field. He shoots pizza. did you guys have that van no I never did either I'm over it

how did they learn to drive how did they have fingers I'm more I think that they were in New York how did they learn to drive right yeah that's completely fair where did they where did they park where do you park the Ninja Turtle van go was the 80s so the answer is Queens oh Hey Bill Barnwell Yeah Do they ticket us here They don't have the cops here

It's great Shoot a pizza at him It's fine Get it's so hot You're getting shot with a flaming hot Pizza fresh out of the oven Would hurt like hell Ninja turtles could have defunded the cops

Yeah don't act like that wouldn't actually Give you second degree burns on your face If you just get head on with a pizza You think it's hot That's only if the pizza gets delivered in time Yeah I think I think You're loading up old pizza I think it's old stinky pizzas.

No, man. From the animation, they were all very, very, very, very, very melty. Yeah, that's true. Clearly, like, when they're eating pizza as power-ups, it almost looks damn near liquid in their hands. Jason, you're talking about in the four-person arcade game? Yeah. I feel like in every iteration that pizza was a power-up for them.

Yeah. It is very drippy. It is very drippy. It is very drippy. The cartoon, it was just like a bucket of pizza. Hot and ready. That's what it is. Oh, my God.

The Ninja Turtles created the Papadilla. No, it was hot and deadly. Yeah. Because, like, seriously, if they're just out there shooting pizzas willy-nilly at people, they're going to, like, they're going to send some people to the hospital, cost them eyes. One's going to the emergency. One's going to Little Caesars. That's the Chicago way.

Just go with it. fine. I would like to go back to the Georgia Alabama game to point one other thing out about Georgia completely freaking out when they were only down three and deciding to put the burden of proof for George's greatness on the backs of their defense. No. They're running backs, all of which are capable of running a 4-5 or a 4-4, squatting 900 pounds and are all just supernaturally talented.

No, no, they didn't do that either. Maybe their offensive line made up of giant angry country strong farm boys? No, no, they declined that too. They put it all in the back of Stetson Bennett. Which Stetson Bennett? Which sounds like a horse, but is not. Wisely avoiding Stetson Bennett one, pretty sure is dead. And two and three, who are out of eligibility.

No, Stetson Bennett the fourth, who had at least three passes batted down at the line of scrimmage because he's not really tall enough to throw over them consistently. On the road against Alabama, they decided to throw 40 times with Stets and Bennett, because that's who you are as a team. I have a boring math argument for why I think it's, I think it's more, the problem is actually more precise than that. Ooh. So I went back and I looked at everything both Georgia and Bama did

on first down when the game was close. Like once Bama scored the 41st point, I didn't look at anything after that. That's probably smart. Yeah, because it didn't matter. Georgia passed the ball 14 times on first down and ran the ball 11 times. Their runs averaged 5.6 yards. Their passes averaged 5.1 yards. But a lot of that is off of one throw, a 36-yard gain.

So if you take that one away, passing on first down, those other 13 plays, they only average 2.7 yards. Now, Bama, on the other hand, is about the same ratio-wise. They had 18 passes and 16 runs. Running-wise, they're actually a little worse than Georgia, but not significantly, 5.37 yards per play on first-down runs. on first down passes 10.6 yards per play and and I like I think it's boring but I think ultimately what happened was Georgia try Georgia was like trying to be balanced on first down in ways that didn't make sense because Stets and Bennett's not Mac Jones and he doesn't have the same like he has a good receiving core but it's not quite as good as good as

Bama's and like ultimately I think that meant Georgia was off schedule more than they wanted to be they end up with Bama ran six more plays in this game overall and had one extra drive but had five fewer third down attempts so I think what happened and I didn't like I don't have a lot to explain well what was Georgia doing on first down passing that wasn't working but I think because they went in and said let's keep it balanced and not just run the ball on first down to set up second and six third and two et cetera et cetera I think they just got behind schedule too much and that's why they get to third and long and I think both the the last two interceptions I think are on third and ten and third and seven if I if I remember correctly

that's my boring math answer so you think theoretically they were just doing the thing they were supposed to do i well it's funny because it is against all evidence it is that thing where like when when georgia just runs the dang ball bobo some people maybe people on this podcast maybe me who's to say we'll kill them and sort of say like you know that you know what are you doing it's 2020 blah blah blah but the truth of the matter is you're on your fourth string quarterback who's still very good who has played better than anybody really really would have predicted if you said, hey, George is going to start the year with their first stringer who transferred in immediately deciding to sit the season out, their second stringer who transferred

in, not being healthy enough to play, their third stringer getting benched in the first game against Arkansas, and then they're going to be on to starter number four. Like, he's played well relative to those expectations. But like, I think, I think he's also starter bulldog the fourth. Yes, correct. That is interesting. Yeah, I just, I don't know. Like, I think it's a matter of you should just do what you're good at. And that doesn't mean don't let Stets and Bennett throw.

It just means, like, give him an environment where he will be more likely to succeed throwing. And I don't think that means, hey, we're on the road playing Alabama. You're going to throw the ball a bunch on first down. Because they were still running for 4.8 per carry. like in their offensive line and a lot of points in the game was looking good so yeah they're ready they were ready to go yeah I mean I think I agree if you can put him in a little bit more favorable positions where he's throwing on third and four yeah yeah or even or even then like he can like Stetson Bennett can run a I mean he looks like Mario like sprinting but Mario can run his ass off yeah yeah yeah so I think I think I think I think George will listen to the full cast too much, frankly. That's a common problem for that. That goes for everyone who is currently listening to it as well.

Shout out to Superfan Claude Felton. I knew it. I knew it. Claude Felton. What's a pod chaos? I will complicate that with one thing. Stinson Bennett missed those easy throws. And he hit the hard ones.

Go back and look. Stets and Bennett misses some very, very makeable throws where he has put in a great position to succeed then on longer downs where he should miss the throw and they should not convert he does that's that's where this horrible human factor comes in where you go boy this would be great if we did everything optimally but that's sort of what i'm that's sort of what i'm talking about where the reason the game i think the reason the game was close and then it wasn't is because georgia was just like leaning on that stress too much where it's like, well, we'll let Stets and Bennett throw on first down, it won't go well, and then he'll

bail us out on third down. And that is not actually a way to survive a football game against Alabama. Or as we'll talk about, against anyone. You can be Vandy that way. And frankly, you might be able to be Florida that way. And LSU. Well, we have a, we have a special circumstance on third down as Florida Gators that was familiar to Georgia fans as well. That would be third in Grantham. But I was having a perfectly good night, so I really don't want to talk about that. Sorry. That's fine.

Don't bring it up again. I think I have a pretty fun rushing average stat that I am looking to confirm. Okay, here I go. The team on pace to have the lowest. per carry average on the ground since 2014 Wake Forest. Do we have a guess the team this season? Mississippi State. That's right.

Not only do they never run the ball, they are terrible at it when they... Dude, they've done it 70 times per 1.54 yards per carry. That is about the same number as Air Force did in its only game. What a beautiful time. Mississippi State statistical slander will just continue because it's one of these four games was not like the others.

Do you think you could put two guys on the line and drop everybody back into coverage? Like put everybody 10 yards away? And do you think Mike Leach would still refuse to run the ball? I mean, I'm pretty sure like half the Pac-12 did that for like the last 10 years, you know? Like that's, didn't Washington do that just like for five years in a row?

Right, yeah. Was it Jimmy Lake who, who, said out loud, you know, that they love the Apple Cup because Mike never changed anything and they could just do the same thing every year. Yep. That was, that was him. Mike Leach had a really good idea in like 1998 and then it was the same. Which kind of makes him perfect for that Joe Rogan vein when you think about it. It was the sham wow as it turns out. Hey, have you ever taken DMT and coach the football team? Oh, I was saying Joe Rogan's good idea. was to be on news radio.

Probably wasn't even his idea, right? Do you think he just showed up? He did give me my fantasy football team name for the entire decade or so that I played fantasy football. There was a little throwaway line of his very early on in the show where he was insisting that this video he was watching could not be a scam because it was labeled authentic alien autopsy bloopers. Oh, wow. in that case Joe Rogan 2020 hey have you seen those authentic guys I know he has become that which he wants derided they're crazy man they're crazy Mississippi State also sporting a healthy minus 10 turnover margin through four games is that like bad cholesterol last year for reference the bottom teams New Mexico State New Mexico and Akron were at minus 15 okay that's different okay Oh, Jesus. Good night.

I tried to be Blase, and now I just can't shake it. Are they going to win another game? I think they will. Who do they? Well, big question. Shuffled schedule. Who do they play? So their next game is against Alabama on Halloween, so no.

That's one. That's one. That's one. Wait, in the back. Where is that game? Tuscaloosa. Okay. Yep, count it.

That's one. Then they host Vanderbilt and Auburn. you'll get one of those two and then they then they have Georgia on the road that's that's another then they play old miss

on the road for the egg bowl and then they end the season at home against Missou so that's what oh god you have to endure the egg bowl and then you have to get up

for a game against Missou yep where like half the team will be suspended because of whatever they did in the egg bowl It's like the fucking egg bowl fallout and like, yeah, yeah. You've just, you've just wrenched your entire psyche through the egg bowl and then... All right, boys, we got a team.

We hate even more than that. 38 Mississippi State players suspended for pantsing Mike Leach during the egg bowl. We all saw your dick. All of us. Oh, God. Dude, no. I think, I think Vanderbilt is the one, like, mostly because Vanderbilt is just like... Yeah, yeah.

Half a team at this point. Like, I think you can get past Vanderbilt. If they can't beat Vanderbilt, no. Then there's not another win on this. I mean, there are how many shitty teams Mike Leach has beaten while running the ball three times. Is there what? Is there a chance?

You guys have probably watched them more than I have at this point this season. Is there a chance we get on the schedule where Mississippi State despite being bad has a shot to snake up get somebody by the ankle and absolutely fuck up somebody's season which is our favorite thing for them to do i don't like are i don't think so i guess what i'm asking of the three of you is are we beyond that sandbar are they too far out oh they're too far out yeah i think i think so there's only like two and a half teams for whom like it's it's bama and bama and georgia are the two obvious ones Auburn is the interesting

one not because necessarily Mississippi State could snake up and like bite them. It's way funnier when Auburn season gets ruined, I agree. And also because like Auburn doesn't need like Auburn is a good improv partner. They don't need you to do that much

to make it funny. Like Auburn is going to if Auburn loses to Mississippi State I guarantee you they will have done they will have carried their weight in that upset. It's the Bo Nix 9 interception game why did you keep throwing oh so that that also brings me that to the egg

bowl where like our i'm very happy that arkansas won i love what arkansas is doing this year i don't know that arkansas can continue to rely on like what was it six turnovers yeah yeah it's looking a little bit suspect you think so you're saying that Arkansas won't get seven turnovers a game they might if they do that's great But the flip side of that. That sounds like a hater talk. Just Sam Pippman with some sort of huge theatrical Gandalf staff on the sideline going, Yes, sir!

I'm the turnover, God! Oh, my God, none shall pass. I added grandees for 30 years in a row so I can make this happen. All magic belongs to me. Let's just say, yes, sir! In the computers, Arkansas is showing up like 50 first. as in below, well, Indiana. I was going to.

It's nothing wrong with that. Home field. I always love that. I feel like every single time there's South Carolina. Like, best two or three lost team in the, like, whatever the number is. Once we get up to seven lost team, right, there's a little bit South Carolina. Best winless team. The best, the best two or three lost team of the nation's always a matter of like best health insurance that doesn't encourage.

doesn't cover surgery the best winless team of course is ohio state that's true team team with no wins oh can can we can we divert briefly to talk that i noticed something so we've talked about the poll a lot i noticed something weird we will talk about the polls there's something weird going on with the poll that i think might there's a chance there's a it's a small chance but i think it might fuck things up later in a really funny way okay so the poll has been as we've talked about previously including big 10 impact 12 teams even though they're not playing now now that said not everybody who is an ap poll voter is putting those teams on like i think brett mcmurphy is not is only ranking teams who are playing so like

bless you man so there's already some weirdness in the poll where like some voters are doing one thing and some some voters are doing something completely different but how many group of teams do you think are on the most recent AP top 25 quite a few it's five that's a lot and if you look if you look at like week five of the last four years which is like the rough equivalent of where we are in terms of like how many games people have played whatever it's like three one two like if you don't have that many teams on um group of five teams in the top 25 and you don't like Cincinnati is still in the top 10 do you know how like what that's on the strength of they beat an FCS team that Pitt beat 55 to zero they beat one and four USF and they have a good

win over army but that's it and that's good enough to be in the top 10 right now because things are so weird I think the Cincinnati ranking which like yeah the computers are like 15 this is like their second best ranking ever right and I think think it is all misdirected midwestern energy like we got to go vote for somebody from the midwest who has done something and it's oh wow i wonder if we could see i would love to see like a geographical data breakdown of this oh yeah and i would love for one of these to bump out like ohio state at the end like ah ohio state lost to produce so not real sure whether we can put you ahead of b yu or cissy so my question is this by by having the season be staggered as it has

and giving like essentially giving space for the voters to put good group of five teams like Coastal Carolina in the rankings where they previously would not like they just wouldn't have gotten in

or they would have had to go like 8 and 0 instead of 4 and 0 and 5 in is that going to create like an inertia of sorts where it's already in people's minds that like Cincinnati's 9

and so yeah maybe I can drop the spot or two below that but like have the have they like gotten a foothold that will pay off down the road where we're going to see like at the end of the year like oh shit there are like three group of five teams in the top 15 what the hell is going on see that'd be really stupid so i say yes okay difficult to predict but i mean like since natty they did drop since last week because of texas a and m's victory over the team that doesn't run yeah So, like, I mean, it could be sort of shifting a little bit.

Like, UNC lost, and Cincinnati still moved down. Yeah. You know, it's just weird shit's happening. So, like, it could go either way. The fun one will be if we make it to college football playoff rankings because they actually don't give a shit about what the AP says, you know? And, like, every year there's, like, the big correction when the AP just kind of like, oh, okay, I guess we'll cheat off that test now.

You know, like, oh, the actual answers are here. Let's align with that. this year it could be big like it could just be just big jumps all over the place like Oklahoma State number six don't get used to that please 12 now you're 12 why you did nothing wrong too bad I mean

honestly the biggest like the biggest aberration on here might be BYU and the teens still like based on everything we've seen this is an easy top 10 team so far all right so that that was the weird thing I noticed here's the funny thing

the big 10 has more teams in the top 25 than the SEC does right now. That's it. That's the whole joke. That's the whole joke. So I think the takeaway here is to just never play football. No, that's it. No, it's bad for you. The theme across the board, by the way, is just try less. I also like that on the official AP page, Coastal Carolina, they're new here. You know, they don't have all these teams have links and logos, except for Costa Carolina because they're brand new here never been ranked before

it's very exciting also NC State they also don't have a look because you know they're not really up here all that often I don't know they might have not needed one ever since the internet was invented

but exciting names all throughout the hippie 205 this is what I'm waiting for by the way which is the SEC has managed to fall behind the big 10 a total number of placed teams based on their actual proof of life oh you're playing football let's see what that looks like

oh no god let's keep let's keep these other teams that we have magically put in with some kind of the buoyancy of forgetting that we've forgotten that your actual football teams I cannot wait for the big 10 to come in and saunter in and go all right you're ready for some big ball

foot big boy football now and Illinois like takes the field and we go oh god it's Illinois oh I forgot how bad this looked so this time around Ohio State moved up, Penn State moved up, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Minnesota all moved up. Minnesota leapt a healthy three spots because of, you know. Off of what?

Meanwhile, the PAC 12, their only team in the top 20 Oregon went down a spot. Oregon is plummeting and Wisconsin will overtake them at this rate. to my next step in this grand plan, which is this. Yeah, Ryan, I think that will happen. I think there will be some stickiness. There's going to be over speculation in this particular market on Big Ten futures. And by the time the Pac-12 starts playing football, they're going to look so heinous, unprepared, and sloppy that there will not be a ranked. Like, we could see a situation where there might be one ranked Pac-12 team in the top 25 at the end of the season just because everybody's gone oh god

we're close to it now yeah yeah yeah no by the time this happens the pack 12 will look so bad that we will want football season to end oregon state versus cow like late at night or at night in the morning whenever it happens

by the time that happens we'll all be so appalled we'll be like yeah the season should end we shouldn't be doing this This is awful. They have 14 turnovers. There are only five pack 12 teams getting votes in the poll right now. Dear God. A poll that is still giving Tennessee votes.

I told them not to do that at the beginning of the year, and maybe now y'all will listen to me. The Washington Huskies and the Utah Uts, fairly successful programs in recent times, are behind Liberty. Yes. By the way, I am still going to go ahead and say that in the apocalypse year, that Utah football is going to thrive because they've tried less and won more

than any like in terms of ambition in terms of what they're going to do on the field right like what do you do we throw rock oh I found my favorite one so Indiana when the Big Ten rejoined the polls like three weeks ago Indiana had no votes last week they had one vote shit yes Indiana had one vote now Indiana has moved up to four votes

exponential growth baby yes next thing you know this so it's 16 right and then 64 and then you know further math next thing you know they're in the top 15 let's go cove indiana people people oh my god ryan they're contagious this this this this week's indiana catch it oh my god the indiana fever the this week's indiana the team that just appeared with one vote uh is a little school by the name of texas oh they're just hanging on it's a basketball team This is all people, people treating their votes like their investment dollars in a really hostile investment environment. Go ahead. Where's a safe place I could put my vote?

I'll forget, hell, I don't know, put a couple dollars in Indiana. No one's going to over-speculate on Indiana. See, I see it more like a roulette, like a roulette betting table where people are like, yeah, sure. Put $5 on Liberty, whatever. I will say, it is a very special indictment of Syracuse football at this point. they have injuries there are like reasons for it et cetera et cetera liberty went to syracuse beaten a cc team on the road and is still like nine spots back from being like in a year in a year where like the polls have room for group of five teams liberty cannot sniff the poll

i appreciate you don't say oh god i'm sorry i do appreciate you using the phrase a very special indictment when talking about liberty football are you saying liberty is on the outside looking in yep you know what someone put them in the corner and they seem happy there oh boy um i would like to share a a tale of two teams both evenly matched and apparently playing the same football game and then i will give you the score of this game because I watched this game I thoroughly enjoyed it because there's again

do you know who the jetpack guy of the SEC is I'm about to tell you somebody who's maximized their time somebody who's optimized themselves for 2020 and the unique circumstances that it has given us one team had 18 first downs the other team also had 18 first downs

one team had 294 yards total offense not a great day at the office the other team had 287 seems like a pretty even football game boy yes yes spencer that's right pretty even football game uh 107 yards passing 112 yards passing looking at a defensive struggle here were they able to run the ball 187 175 let him have it it's about the same about the same what was the final score of this game if i were to give you

you'd probably go oh it feels like 21 17 maybe 17 14 kind of a low scoring slobber knock herb a game classic cc territory the kind of game your grandpa would be proud to take a nap in the middle lane okay now it's mean i don't i defended it's 347 it's 34 fucking 7

it's 34 7 kentucky kentucky 34 tennessee 7 because of four turnovers on the tennessee side these are the same teams They're not dissimilar. It's worse if you don't wear your headphones, I promise.

I took off my headphones, and then I could hear you louder as the problem. So I put them back on. 34-7. Kentucky is by far my favorite team in the SEC right now because Kentucky has mastered the art of trying less. They're just, what are they going to do? They're going to play defense, and they're going to put Terry Wilson out there. You know, Terry Wilson's going to do a quarterback? Enough.

Not a goddamn thing. Enough. That's the answer. Not enough. He's not going to throw 40-something times, that's for sure. That's right. I'm now leaning firmly towards your quarterback throwing more is bad. In my old age, I'm becoming like, you know what happens when you pass the ball?

You're not Kentucky. That's what happens. This is Eddie Granz, the McGiver of Kentucky, of offensive coordinators, because somebody gave him a paperclip, some chewing gum, three batteries. and some string, and he's got to make an airplane out of it. And he's going to do it because somehow Kentucky keeps winning games, despite having what I would charitably call less than nothing on offense. They also, by the way, dropped like two TDs in this game,

so it could have been worse. Well, also within the first 20 minutes, Kentucky's defense had outscored Tennessee's offense for the entire game. So really at that point, like, I don't know what you need to do on offense. You know what? You know what we need to do? We need to get to five o'clock, boys. Let's get to five o'clock.

You know what? Do we have to go take 20 minutes in the bathroom while we check our phone? That's what we're going to have to do. Maybe we linger in the copy room a little longer than we have to. No problem. Does lunch creep over a little bit? Yeah. Are we going to play games on our phone at our desk?

Sure. But we're going to get to five o'clock. We're going to make it through. That's Kentucky, man. shout out to mark shouts out to mark stoops by the way for copying an open container on a bus when somebody said when somebody asked mark stoops if he was happy about the win he said yeah i'm going to go on the bus and drink a glass of bourbon then i'm going to go home and smoke a cigar i was like that's that's kentucky as hell when you're like yeah i'm cracking open a bottle on

the bus what's going to do about it cop are we sure that's illegal in kentucky though i really don't know only if you don't share did you bring enough for the whole bus you did oh you are from kentucky okay i'm like literally tapping a barrel with a straw that's what i'm doing

y'all y'all come up and get you a ladle in this courage it was it was not that long ago that tennessee was contending with georgia like it wasn't this is the meanest football team in the world to its fans. Just the meanest. I tried to tell y'all.

Just the meanest. That's the other thing is that Holly almost called the final margin in this game. Try to tell y'all. Can I tell you, although Holly has gotten so good about bailing on the game and knowing exactly when to bail on the game with a frightening degree of accuracy.

I've had lots of practice. You didn't even, it didn't even take a turnover. Like, I think just something happened. You go, no, I'm out. I'm out. It was. It was zero-zero when I quit and went back to my room. You quit in zero-zero.

It was zero-zero when I went back to my room to watch Baylor, West Virginia. And I had a lovely Saturday. I don't know about the rest of you assholes. You made the right choice. I know. You mean Kansas, West Virginia, because I just want to emphasize that Gus Johnson. Oh, was West Virginia playing against somebody? I just want to go ahead and emphasize that Gus Johnson got to call a Kansas.

this football game ha ha i'm going to say something it was it was actually a really great defensive game by west virginia too it was a lot of fun in a lot of different ways can i tell you the best game i watched this week like the best game like like bar none by by far i see no way of preventing you i'm about to georgia state arkansas state damn it thursday night 59 52 absolute lunacy on both sides of the ball yeah was absolutely phenomenal

I know our beloved Georgia State Panthers could not pull out the win against the Red Wolves but damn if the Sunbelt hasn't been the most entertaining like second second was Coast of Carolina but damn if Georgia State didn't get

like all of Arkansas State's coaches fired Arkansas State's out here dropping co-defensive coordinators because of what the Panthers did. Yeah. That's how you know you're a good football team. You get people fired even when you beat them.

That's amazing. But yeah, Sunbelt, by the way, that's it. 2020's taught us that the Sunbelt is by far the best value buying college football because I haven't watched many bad Sunbelt games. I've watched bad SEC games. Non-competitive SEC games. But I don't think I've watched a bad Sunbelt game this year.

that's an amazing statement it is but it's completely accurate i know i i have no issue with it um can we we don't have to do this for long i promise i do feel like we're obligated to talk about the knolls yeah i think so yeah it's fair um there are those that's a football team that is correct and that we just saw recently in uh in a home field apparel drop that is correct as well um Here is my takeaway from Florida State upsetting number five, UNC, for their first win against an FBS team this year. Florida State didn't actually look that good in this game. They didn't win the turnover battle. That was tied.

They didn't win the penalty battle. They lost that pretty easily. They only completed 42% of their passes. They weren't very good on third down. They were like pretty so-so in the red zone. scored 17 points on five trips they had like an up and down special teams night missed two field goals they did block a punt and they still won and i think like even though everything i just said sounds like negative or depressing or whatever i think that's actually a good thing because

for florida state to be able to turn in a inconsistent not by no means was this like wow Florida State firing on all cylinders on both sides of the ball. They did play pretty well defensively, I will say. And to still get a win against a team that, whether it makes sense or not, was undefeated and was ranked very highly, like, that's actually probably a more meaningful first step for Florida State starting to rebuild or starting to turn it around, then coming out and doing the everything went according to plan.

because like it's just you can't rely on that if you are fSU right now at this point to play that game every week so you should probably be happy with some things improved and the football gods didn't hate us for once they hated you and they really hated you and see at the end of that game i'm i don't really understand like i did not watch this game yeah looking at the numbers i do not understand how this happened i was which part i'm any of it okay i'm really glad to hear you say that because i called the tennessee kentucky game within a field goal and i distinctly remember turning to you before you and c florida state and saying mac's going to hang 50 on these people like i this i can't remember the last time i thought a game was going to be this much of a blowout in one direction and i was this wrong in the other direction okay so i'll tell you straight up turnovers it's one-one right yeah so it wasn't like there was a huge advantage there. Penalties, it's like 50, 89 yards. There's not a massive number of penalties. The only reason I'm still thinking about this is because I thought UNC was going

to blow their brakes off. UNC out gained them by over 100 yards. They had 11 more first downs. Sam Howell had a pretty good game, man. Like, this looks clean. So a lot of it is that Florida State jumped out to a 24 point lead, 24-0 lead. And they obviously didn't like score a lot more as the game went on but they they did to some extent kind of park the bus they also had some dumb like both of the field goals they missed for like 33 35 yards something like that but like if you go back and look through this game every time there was like that little thing where it's like okay if you and see can just do that if they can just convert this like fourth and one or if they can just pick up this like third and three they'll continue the

and get the touchdown that will sort of like open the floodgates and every time they hit one of those points pretty much until the end of the game when they started coming back it went like terribly wrong they went over three on fourth down in this game and the like the last one was the last their last play on offense but the other two were like short short yarded situations where they could have converted they were fucking terrible on third down on third down they converted a third and one and a third and two and that was it that was the only offensive conversions they had on third down all night they like and and like i'm saying when when they didn't convert it wasn't just like oh third and five through an incompletion it was oh third and five got sacked and lost 15 yards

like this was such a such a like in the margins game and like you it's like have you ever seen somebody just go on a terrible streak at blackjack where you're just like every every time every you played every hand right yeah exactly you've played every hand right but just the dealer kept kicking your ass that was kind of what happened to unc right right i think you're you know your statistical analysis this is this is good this is informative but uh i think the if i could pick out a single number from this box score that i think would would spell victory here. FSU through 19 passes,

and that is almost half as many as UNC through. That's true. As we've learned, passing is bad. Passing is bad and stupid. FSU managed to avoid it. FSU managed to avoid it. In fact, FSU really didn't do anything on offense. It looks like they didn't even have the ball.

Like UNC through 36 passes ran 45 times, and FSU ran 36 times and passed 19 times. So just you and C had the ball the entire time and nothing happened. Yeah, pretty much. I can't make a mistake on offense if you don't have the ball. Smart. Play smarter, not harder.

Also, yeah. Also, the NOLs, it looks like every time the NOLs got the ball, they broke a big play, 54, 58, 39, 32. Get ball, do something with it. But just one thing, just do one thing with it. That's it. You don't get to do more than one thing. Then get your defense back on the field.

Yeah. yeah so so they can take a long time to get the ball away from the offense um stop them on they go two for 12 on third down yeah that is bad blackjack man that's nasty between between this game and Notre Dame Louisville which i will only i will only remark upon by saying the winning team Notre Dame scored 12 points i have a very hard time seeing how like anybody else in this conference is going to be a meaningful threat to Clemson who I don't even think we've talked about Clemson much on the show this season at all. Clemson continues to look like like an absolute murder machine and I just don't you know they've already they already beat

Miami and that didn't look that hard I don't see how anybody else left on the schedule or in the conference championship game is like even going to slow them down at this point Like, they, what, the punter came in and started throwing passes on Georgia Tech? To Dabo's sons. To Dabo's son? Yeah. So this week, they are 44.5 point favorites against Syracuse. Oh, God.

And I'm not sure that number. That game doesn't have to have. That number is not attractive, really. Can you start? I like big numbers, but that's. Why do we need to do this? What is, is there a single reason we need to play this game? No.

I mean, I guess Clemson's punter could use some more throwing reps. Sure. Clemson at one point, they swapped out their extra point kicker for their backup extra point kicker. They had this other dude kick like three extra points. Like, why are we doing this? That's very gracious of you, Davo. Good Lord. It is funny because people reflexively were like, who didn't, who clearly didn't watch the game,

were like, oh, 73-7, they ran up the score. And it's like, no, they really tried to, like, if you had driven to the game and said, hey, can I play, they probably would have put you in for a few snaps at linebacker. Four different tigers, three passes. Ten ran the ball. I'm not even going to count, but it looks like 15 caught passes,

including two different Swinnies. I didn't even know there were two Swinnies. I didn't know there were two of them on the team. Well, he's not even a relative. We just took him because of the name. I like this kid. Am we not merciful? It looks like the backup punter got a rep.

Oh, no. Oh, I see what happened here. The backup kicker is also the backup punter. Great. Yeah. My God. Can I give you, Clemson did something that is a rarity, but one of my favorite,

you're not about this life moments. And this is when they told Georgia Tech that you were not about this life. Georgia Tech's like, no, no, we are not. No, no, we would like to get to the end of this game. We agree. We did not claim to be. They put up 30.

Asked and answered, counselor. They put up 35 in the second quarter. Now here's the smart thing Georgia Tech did, all right? They threw only 14 passes. They got this shit over with. They ran the ball 44 times. That's right. Brisk, baby.

Keep this clock moving. Something. the single funniest screen grab i'm going to go ahead and grab it is clemson's receiving totals versus georgia tech yeah tech had four guys catch passes clemson had it's got to be like 20 they were mad at all of them why are you catching that pass don't ever oh my god Clemson really did have, like, Clemson has an entire roster catching balls in this game. They have, oh my God, they have guys, Lynn J. Dixon caught a pass. I'm going to spell Lynn J's name, L-Y-N-Dash-J.

That's how you spell. Lynn J. Dixon caught a pass because of Georgia Tech, the generosity. I bet Jamie Lynn Siggler caught a pass. Clemson is like, clompson's like notorious for emptying the bench, right? Like this is sort of one of the things they do that kind of fucks with their, their advanced analytics is like as soon as they get any sort of a comfortable lead, they just started shuffling dudes in there.

And it's one of the reasons they're so good late in the season, you know, because everyone's gotten some reps. This might be the most extreme example we've seen yet. And that includes the time they played like Charlotte. Yeah. So. J.C. Chalk caught a pass. what that's a fake name

yes it is that's like that's like the first when you play where in the world in carvin san diego that's like the first villain you have to catch this is like when you have to enter your name for setting a video game record and you start putting butt and ass i mean is that the most video game name on here because there's a dude named max may there's a guy named frank ladson

what frank ladsen junior who i swear played for nottingham forest yeah they yeah at least that's not hyphenated i thought it was going to be like lad dash son yeah multiple swinnies they they've could have gotten grandma swinny on this i don't think i knew he had two sons that were college age are these middle schoolers did he put it are are his kids in college if a middle school like yeah i'm just going to go ahead this is why the acc is so against rushing the field because uh coaches kids keep trying to play georgia tech i'm going to go ahead and start spreading the rumor that a middle schooler caught a for a completion against Georgia Tech.

Yeah, Lane offered him as a preschooler, but, you know, he really wanted the sense of family that he got at Clemson. There's the, like, Ghost of Cumberland College just in Debbis, when he's ear, like, make him bleed. Do it. Do it.

John Heisman's like, yeah, do it. I would like to shout out Memphis. I mean, just generally, not even for football. Yeah, I think, I think the same. same just you know shouts out shouts out to Memphis as a city as the brutal land like Memphis is a central barbecue shout out to Zach Rudolph who caught a pass for Clemson on Saturday shout out to the pilot where I saw a girl who was probably nine years old carrying a handgun yeah shout out to Memphis um it's a true story I'll share it with you someday when it's less

traumatic to me. Okay. Yeah. Grandma carry my gun. Things you would only see in the greater Memphis metropolitan area. Memphis finally, you know the last time Memphis beat UCF was? The last time? Like, probably been like five years, six years?

Mm-hmm. That's not close. Okay. Thanks. At all? Yeah, no. Just wait. He shit, Ryan.

Yeah, let's go ahead. To say it then, I don't know. You idiot. I dare you not know this. The last time Memphis. Ryan, you were fired as Memphis's S-I-D. Yeah, that's it. You've lost it.

I didn't know what he's on Split Zone duo now. Shit. Yeah, you probably got confused because we were talking about college football. The betrayer does not know his American Athletic Conference history. On September 22nd, 1990. Memphis beat Central Florida 3728 1990 they didn't play again until 2005 and when they did play it's a continuous string

of Central Florida beat downs of Memphis which I cannot think of a more Mnfeasian thing than goddamn them Orlando it's Mimphesian please Mephisions were they still Memphis State at that point or had they made the O-5 they had gone ahead and I think fully changed In 1990, they're Memphis State.

Memphis State Tigers. Yeah. Yeah. In 2005, they are the Memphis Tigers, but the results are straight L's every year from 2005 to 2018. Okay. So this is a big deal. You can, by the way, get Memphis State era Tigers T-shirts from home field apparel because I have two. So 1990, you said was the last one?

That is the last time. Then they don't play for 15 years. and then when they are both in Conference USA from 2005 all the way up to 2019, straight losses. I like how that made you hit the O. Also, they made up for some missing time here because this also includes two AAC title games. So Memphis was getting itself a double dose of losing to UCF. There's a lot being taken out in this 50 to 49 victory by the Tigers. Also, 1990 UCF, it's only the 12th year the program even exists.

and it's their first year jumping not from FCS to FBS but from Division 2 to FCS. Yeah and yeah it's been if you want to know about two teams who have been on journeys

Rhodes travel. Spencer was 24 when this game happened. That's not possible. That's how long ago it was. It's not that far off. It's really not. Thank you, Ryan. I'm going to go cry now. You stabbed me first, you ass.

I did. I'm ready. How dare you stab it? Oh, stab, stab, stab. I'm just looking vulnerable. Ryan, you're really learning from Nashville, and I'm proud of you. But shouts out to Memphis for finally vanquishing

a foe that they had taken years, like over a decade to finally win. And beat them by, the points don't mean. matter 50, 49. The margin of victories are relevant. They managed to, anytime that you manage to defeat UCF, frankly, you're doing a service for civilization. So thank you, Memphis. This is, okay, maybe this is my own Google, uh, Google results going crazy. But the first news result I get when I put in UCF football is from the New York Post. And it says,

UCF kicker has altercation with teammate after missing game winner. oh yeah that was on tv wow yeah like the kicker missed the game winner yeah the cameras caught that actually yeah and when he missed it oh punched the injury tent several times yeah take that injury tent the tent with which yeah i i love a good visual metaphor but i'm gonna mess up the injury tent it's called the injury tent because i'm supposed to injure it i will defeat death i will defeat death by destroying this injury tent but from what we saw on the cameras i would characterize this as scuffle sure yeah it wasn't it wasn't a full-on problem it wasn't a fracas i don't think yeah nobody i don't think anybody threw a punch it was just you know

an altercation things getting heated nobody threw a punch because from what we saw on television there were teammates at the ready holding both parties back with a quickness so i don't know what happened before the cameras caught it but yeah the last thing i would like to mention because we've talked about Zach Wilson being the swagiest white boy on the planet for BYU. They did play Houston, and Houston did something I have never seen before. Like, that's rare. It's rare that, you know, because as Ryan pointed out, I've been watching football for 70 years,

and I've seen a lot of things. Just like Larry King. Just me and Larry King, chilling, watching 1966 Michigan State going, Hey, Lairbear, this is incredible. Yes, it is. Have you met my ninth wife? Do you know anyone who's ever been murdered? I got murdered once.

Jerry Lewis is coming over. Are those connected? Just remember that Larry King, when asked to tell an inspirational story about his life, told the story about the time he bet the last $10 he had at the track, hit like a crazy trifecta, and managed to pay his alimony for the next year off that. Jesus. It was in one of those parade magazine things like, talk about a time, you know, that was

like a really crucial moment in your life. And this parade magazine had 15 softball stories from celebrities that were probably written by their PR people that were about like, when I got my cancer diagnosis and I overcame that, or when I, you know, was stranded out in the woods and I figured it out. Or when I had to be there for my mother and I really showed up, you know, like all of these various standard tales of personal growth and endurance. And then I remember reading. It was like, Larry King.

And even as a kid, I thought, well, my eyebrows popped up because I knew Larry King was insane. Because he was on TV every night. You have to be insane to be on TV every night. So I read it. Larry King is talking about it. He goes, so here's the most important moment in my life. It's my third marriage is just falling apart. I've just lost my job at WF.

or whatever horrible radio station he was working for in New York, you know, I've been kicked out of my apartment. I'm staying in some dive up in Queens and me. I got like $20 left. So I did what any man would. I took it to the track. And I'm reading it up like Larry King took it to the track. Yeah, I took it to the track. Yeah. Yeah. That's a solutions oriented thinker. And I remember in the story, Larry gave great detail about the exact bet that he put down at the track that indicated that Larry had spent far too much time at the track and was far too you know when somebody like lays down real dollars about horse racing you make assumption about their life like oh you have a gambling problem a serious debilitating gambling

problem but Larry laid out all the details of the bet and he goes and I hit on that and I hit on the fore at Santa Anita and I made uh enough money to pay off my rent for a year and my alimony for a year and that was the most and I have a nice steak dinner at Morton's that was the most important night of my life and I'm like Larry King you are a wild boy no man is wilder than you so he's describing this night at the track like that thing where if you ask LeBron like you know in the in the 11th minute of the first quarter this guy took a step one way and he explains for like five minutes you know like exactly and Larry King like 60 years later photographic memory of that special night of the time he went to the track and found himself a place to live

and also a way to not get arrested for failure to pay child support for a whole year that was the most important moment in larry king's life is when he hit a huge bed at the track and got to go home by himself to his flop house apartment like ah life's good awe inspiring masculinity Larry King well done clean living is its own reward dude I think dude got divorce going into his 80s that's ambition god damn Larry how many are we up to now how many of his he's he's had eight wives I believe God damn yeah it's it's it's positively biblical what is the record for a divorce eight I'm just going eight Like, like, you could have, like, you know, many, many spouses,

but having many divorces is the, that's the thing. Mary King just loves getting divorced. I have an answer to this. Glenn Wolf, also known as Scotty Wolf, was a Baptist minister in California who held the record for the, well, he died. Who held the record for the largest number of monogamous marriages with 29. so that's 20 at least 28 divorces then well uh yeah three of his three of his marriages were to women he had previously divorced as well so now are any of those like out of order because like larry has one aline aiken's where they it's a married oh yes he did it so he aline aches married 61 divorce 63 then there's another 63 to 67 immediately back with aline 67

divorce and 72. Yep. So I love when, it's like when the co, it's like, yeah, it's like, hey, it's like fucking Mac Brown, right? The next,

two stints at the same school. Out of context. Making a, yeah, Larry King married Mac Brown. So what? He's a very tender lover. I just like the, the multiple stints with the same guy,

bracketing an entire other marriage. Yep. It's not like they split and got back together. Right? There was an entire other marriage in the middle. That's amazing.

And so many trips to the track. Those were the Charlene years. There's a Sharon on here. There's a Frida and Annette, Aileen, Mickey, Sharon, Julie, and Sean. This is my favorite DMX song. I married DMX in 1998. I think Lou Begg is a coward. I love Earl, always will.

Three beautiful children. Their names are... Rov!