Shutdown Fullcast - The Philadelphia Story

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

 - A timely BLOOD WEEK sermon   - Two bigole snakes treadin’ on each other, and their respective complaints  - Confronting the glowing specter of ... a second college football podcast??  - This Saturday night, witness the DADVANTAGE 1982 game of the week  - Truly just an extravagant amount of Philadelphia Eagles analysis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. The Internet's only only. college football podcast you were listening to the dulcet tones of one spencer hall uh joining me my co-host and my only co-host at the moment uh jason kirk say hello jason now what do non dulcet tones sound like could you could you give us because sometimes you do sound like that but you sometimes yeah you turned up the dulcimeter for the folks this evening so they could enjoy the The dulcitness.

Yeah, I did. The dulcimiter. These are fatal readings on this dulcimiter. My God, he's too smooth. He's too smooth. He's Lou Rawls. He's gone Lou Rawls. Oh, no.

He's Joe Tess. Jesus. Get out of the way. I think the non-dilcim. The machine by your side, instead of going like, doot, doot, do. You know, it's just like,

do. Do. Oh, God. He's hit Mel Tourmet, Bale. Joining us, as always, guests, Holly Anderson, say hello. I think the opposite of Dulcet is probably me, based on our listener feedback. I think it's at Orgeron. There's a hammer, dulcima, right there.

Emphasis on the hammer. Yeah, that's what the dulcimeter reads. If it goes the other direction, or he's just him going, oh, oh, ha, ha, ha. And the recently traumatized Ryan Nanny, who I know is ready and rare to talk about this past college football weekend. Ryan, like, tell me, man, what did you see? What do you want to talk about? Spencer, I need you to not talk from here on out. The following is directed exclusively at Jason and Holly.

Okay. Jason and Holly, can you confirm that neither of you witnessed or read about the end of the end. of the Philadelphia Eagles, Cincinnati Bengals, NFL game. No, why would I do that? Joe Burrow, of course, is... I'm sorry, I can't confirm that. Why would I consume that game? Despite Joe Burrow being my biological son,

I abandoned my boy. I did not watch that game. Okay. Let's set this stage a little bit. The Eagles coming into this game were 0 and 2. they had blown a 17 point lead in week one to the Washington football team and they had basically gotten pants by the LA Rams in week two they entered week three facing the Cincinnati Bengals who were as you may have gleaned 2019's worst team in the NFL that's not me being mean that's how NFL draft order works so to call this an important game for Doug Peterson the head coach of the Eagles and for the team's whole would be entirely modest of you. This game went into overtime. It did not go into overtime because of some valiant last-minute scramble by Joe Burrow and the Bengals.

No, they had the lead, and with about 30 seconds left, Carson Wentz scored the tying touchdown for the Eagles. They kicked the extra point and sent us to extra time. Nothing happened. in overtime. No points were scored for most of the game. For most of the game. A spoiler for all of the game. But the Eagles, and that's in large part because the Eagles defense played quite well. They allowed 15 yards to the Bengals in overtime, except for their last drive, which we'll get to. And they sack Joe Burrow three times. So that's the defensive side of the ball. We are not here to talk about them were here to talk about the offense who started at their own 46 with a minute 41 remaining and one time out with the game tied 2323 they quickly picked up a first down to get to the

Cincinnati 44 with a minute 26 to play they ran two they had two short runs and then they snapped the ball with 22 seconds left on third and seven and Carson Wentz as he is want to do failed to complete a pass. Fun fact, in the middle of this overtime, there was a note that Carson Wentz had just completed his 225th yard of passing in this game, a game that went to the entirety of overtime. Carson Wentz, the quarterback that the Eagles traded up for 225 yards in an overtime game. So, it's fourth and seven. I repeat that the Eagles are 0 and 2 and facing the Bengals. They have the ball at where they are looking at a 51-yard field goal if they attempt this.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's a 59-yard field goal. I misspoke. There's 19 seconds left, and the Eagles kicker is Jake Elliott. He's 10 of 17 from 50-plus yards in his current. career. He has already had a 61-yarder in his career, and he's hit a 54-yarder this season. So now he's facing a 59-yard attempt. The game is tied 19 seconds left. What do you think happens next, let's say Holly? A series of timeouts all burnt-in succession by a team that shouldn't have needed them.

There is a stoppage in play, so I'm going to give you partial credit for that. Which stadium are we playing at? We are in the link. We are in Philadelphia with piped in booze and imaginary trash being thrown on the field. I'm going to guess a splitage of the earth and the zombies that are in the jail beneath the field, pour forth and block the field goal attempt. because surely a field goal was attempted. Jason, that would have been the superior emotional outcome.

What happened was a false start. And that moved this ball back. A false start by whom? By Philadelphia Guard, I believe. You know, if you think about it, a zombie is kind of a false start. I guess so. I would argue it's a late hit, but. Well, that's how you get rid of them.

That's true. Targeting. Um, they're definitely off. Spencer, I asked you not to talk. Targeting. It's targeting. If targeting is if there are several characteristics, so if you spear the zombie with the crown of the skull and you lunge, it is definitely targeting.

That's right. So, Philly was going to attempt a 59-yard field goal, which if they missed, was going to give Sincere the ball around midfield with, let's say, five seconds or so run off the clock during the attempt with about 14. seconds left to play. What do you think they do now? They're now on the Cincinnati 46. They would be attempting a 64-yarder, which is an insanely long kick. But again, the game is tied. At this point, it's like 4th and 12. So just going for it on 4th down is not necessarily a higher percentage play what what would you do in this situation jason if you're the coach how many seconds do i have you

have 19 seconds left and i believe the bengals have no timeouts remaining okay i mean we have time to do one of those sideline routes and get into a decent Hail Mary situation i mean sure you he could throw it from there yeah it's carson went so who knows where it's going but i'd like to use half my 19 seconds to get closer to get closer and if nothing else get close enough for a field goal okay and and what's your thinking if if you fail and if you turn the ball over on downs well i'm playing the bingles so they're not going to do anything with it okay holly what are you doing with the ball at this point i would run out the clock to end the game because it's the NFL you know what even that would be more would be more decisive oh no i was kind of guessing that's what happened no um oh

Philadelphia punted the ball away. Philadelphia did the thing that guaranteed was not going to win them the game. If you attempt a long field goal, a 64-yarder, maybe you hit it. I'm not going to say the chances are great that you will, but you have a guy who can hit from long. And like it is indisputably a way you can win the game. Jason's path is another opposite. option where you try to get closer and still use the clock that you have or you can just throw a Hail Mary at that point you can just say let's just go for let's just go for the end

zone in one play holly's selection doesn't necessarily help you win but it is funny but i wasn't trying to right and it might confuse the other team punting is the one decision that guarantees you will not win the game. The Eagles did not lose because the Bengals got the ball at like their own nine and we're like, fine, we'll run one play. We'll just run the ball once. Did they punt it back? They did not. I wish, my sincere hope was that they took a knee and then celebrated like they won a playoff game. Well, they're the Bengals. They're the Bengals. So it was, it was life-giving. Now, could it have been that the plan was Sky punt? Give the coverage team a lot of time to get down there.

Hit stick, point of impact, pick up the fumble, run it in. It's entirely, yes, you know what? It's possible. Although, if I'm remembering correctly, that's, he would have to catch the ball cleanly and start returning it for that to be the case, right? Yeah, you time it really well. Okay. Like if he just drops the ball, that's a muff and you can't advance it.

So I'm gathering the fellas. Sure. stoppage of play circling up my punt team and I'm saying hit stick and they know what to do because we had lots and lots of practice time this off season so we have done this 100 times

sure we've run this drill we've run the 64 yard field goal abandonment punt drill when you put it like that it sounds downright romantic so now the Eagles it's just physics right so now the Philadelphia Eagles is my favorite football team in all of

space time are 02 and one and i love them like the stupidest son anyone's ever had i love them so much watching them go out in front of an empty stadium when they're already o in two when they have a defense that probably wouldn't let the bengals get into field goal range when the bengals are the bengals and watching them say no thank you we would rather burn our own house down rather than risk watching you do it but they only burned it halfway that's right we would we would rather just set our car on fire we would rather in the drive a new roof that we don't need do you think that since the NFL will probably be canceled in i don't know about a month do you yeah go titans the bingles

having finishing with an oh six and one record because like surely the eagles will win a game but the bing i'm not i'm not convinced that that's true but okay go ahead they do they will play the giants at some point so well there well there's another tie yeah Yeah. God, I'm not kidding. I watch this happen. It's Tuesday now. I have thought about this approximately once every nine hours. It is the best thing. Because like to tie it, to finish an NFL game with in a tie, takes some doing. Like you can't be so bad that you let the other team accidentally score. And you can't be so good that you yourself score. And like, I'm trying to figure out like, was there any? amount of time like if it had been nine seconds instead of 19 would they have tried the field if it had been four seconds or or was Doug peterson just like abort cancel game do over nothing counts so I'm sure this point has been made but it is precedent for the Philadelphia Eagles to not know that in the NFL overtime period the game ends

this is already canon that the Eagles knowledge on this subject is sure has its own interpretation so possibly he thought they were heading for the second frame the sixth frame that's right um this is that look college football happened and I watched some of that too the Eagles are the only team that matter they're the only team that live in my heart and they're the only team I ever want to talk about because like here's the other thing a roughly like not exactly like not exactly Exactly, but within a couple hours or so of this happening, what was happening to the Falcons, they were blowing a lead to who? I can't even keep track. The Bears this time.

The Bears. And Spencer, you can answer this. Who was the quarterback? Well. He doesn't know. No, no. I do know. Okay.

It started out as Matt Trubansky. That's right. That's it. But they banched him. They burnched him. They burnt, no, this isn't Pittsburgh. They banched him. They binged him.

They bansed him. They bansed. For Nick Foles. Yep. Yeah. Nick Foles, Super Bowl winner with the Philadelphia Eagles. To be fair, when he comes off the bench, he's invincible. There's simply no way to contain him.

Now, keep in mind, granted, to be fair, the Falcons defense did also allow Mitchell Trubisky to scamper for like 60 yards without a single defender in frame so well he was always called he was always called the next Michael Vick granted he yes he did break several of Barry Sanders's rushing records while in college North Carolina he's dynamic at uncc yeah but you're Mitch that's what they call him um yeah so a second week in a row since an NFL podcast now second week in a row the falcons blue a 15 plus point lead uh under the tenure of a coach who has already suffered the worst loss in the history of football um yeah i love it it's it's i've fully turned on them i'm going to watch uh there's nothing they can do to make me stop

i'm here to laugh at them um i will do this again like like it's it is seriously a whole new level of fandom each week like i thought 283 made me an invincible sport sports fan. No, it just made me impervious to pain. Now, it's not even that I, it's not even enjoying pain. I don't even acknowledge pain. I don't care if they lose. I want something funny to happen. I tune in for the comedy. That is what I get out of rooting for my favorite sports team. Guess what Netflix is going to suggest to you to watch next? The Philadelphia fucking Eagles. That's what. Doug Peterson could be playing blackjack with the devil. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the doomsday clock could go to 1201.

The devil could look over at him and say, hey, it's time. You have five minutes left. And Doug Peterson would fold his hand. So, doomsday is at 12.06? I think so. Okay. You know what, yeah, because, you know, like, it's smart to build in buffer. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So when they put it at 1159 and we're like, oh, fuck. Well, you know, there's, there's, like, there's the pregame, and then there's the is until after Joe Buck and Troy Akeman introduced the starters of the apocalypse and the key to the game. Yes, yes. Yeah, there was lightning.

The NCAA said there's lightning. If to wait 15 minutes. And it's like, no shit, there's lightning. It's the apocalypse. Yep. I think you should just remember that Doug Peterson make $7.7 million a year. Because he won a Super Bowl.

He won a Super Bowl and he beat the Patriots to do. that. Yeah. Thanks to Nick. Thanks to Nick Foles. When you make 7.7 mil a year, you can start to think some very reckless things about your financial security. So it's kind of encouraging that Doug Peterson, seeing a hand that he might win or might lose,

simply folded and said, you know what? I heard the Bellagio's got a great buffet. I'm going to want myself over there. You know, where I'm always a winner at the French toast bar. You know what? You know what this is? This is a push. You know what?

And a push in Vegas? When you've already got tickets for Cirque de Soleil? Thank you, John. Thank you for those, by the way. I'll take three pieces of bread in my club sandwich, that is. What are, so. I guess, so the logic against not kicking is you don't want it to be blocked and run back. Yeah.

Primarily. There's that and there's like maybe. It would set up, it would set up the Bengals for a throw or two. Sure. And I think, I think my baby boy, I did see the stats. I think he had a 300-yard day. Is that at my own? He was, Joe Burrow didn't have a bad day.

And yes, you could have lost. But like, what was the point of playing 74 minutes of football against the Bengals if you were just going to pack up and go home at the end of it? That's a lot of exercise. Yeah. It is difficult to work out, you know, to work out with your friends these days. Sure. yeah um getting to do that for three hours i'm sure four hours goodness this is the only game

where i regret they're not being a full crowd because i cannot like like you would have seen a retired philly firefighter vomit up a mace and throw it directly at tug peterson maybe that's why he smuggled it in in his stomach maybe he did it um just because he knew he would never be able to get away with this ever again. It's time for my worst idea. Now's the time. I feel so oppressed by this crowd. They don't let me, they don't let me create.

Runs, runs to his own end zone after the game and just pisses all over the logo. He's just yelling, Wawa sucks. Wawa sucks! I can say whatever I want. No one's here. The internet's only college football. podcast that's not even true anymore even that's not true god even that's not true the eagles are the only stable thing in my life

it's the eagles and holly and holly i'm sorry that you got lumped in with the eagles that's like the nicest thing that's ever been said about me on this show um well i mean people we have said on multiple occasions that you are capable of murder that's just a fact that's not a value judgment yeah it's not a compliment I'm not complaining, by the way. I don't deserve anything more than what has been said about me. Spencer, I think it's sort of capable, like,

talented at murder, right? Frankly, we're tired of watching her do it. That's how good she is. We're like, next. Full cast compliment sounds like an old-timey turn of phrase where, like, that means you actually don't like somebody. Like, oh, he gave him an old full-cast compliment, eh? Yeah, yeah, wow.

Like a Bronx cheer. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's king of the late-night billiard hall. all sorts of vaudeville insults to somebody right this man is truly for the birds that's why he has a bird under his hat go by he's owned by birds go birds go birds and you know i'm going to kill Doug Peterson i love you doggy you're going to kill him with his super ball right yeah that's it it's a tribute i'm going to i'm going to find i'm going to find nick foals and i'm going to swing him like a club at you

hurt both you real bad the now that we've had the first 10 minutes of the podcast devoted to the most important college football team the philadelphia eagles i'm i'm okay with that sure for the record i love these stupid eagles so much ryan so it was so to be clear it was this event that caused you caused you to dedicate your life to the eagles and to welcome doug piz so i've always i think like this has always been a pretty pro philly podcast sure you know we in city that sees a robot and is like beat the shit out of it yeah i'm going to kill that robot star listen if if star wars if the if in a new hope three p o and r2 land in philadelphia instead of tattooing movies over in seven minutes i'm going to throw it right in the water

if they land in philly then ultimately star wars nine never happens so go birds yeah go birds yeah um there's a team by the way that if i think we can go ahead and wash the veneer of excellence off of them and just enjoy them for the learning curve they're going to be on this year the experience the journey the voyage of personal discovery that they're all going to go on together i'd like it to be lSU because because lSU went from woohoo i won the lottery to dang where to put that duffel bag of hundreds where to go i'll tag it caught dane get my gun yeah i'm gonna i just want to clown on lSU for about three minutes maybe five do you want me to we'll see no no no don't time me don't time me because there's there's no telling that would be covering me time wise and i don't think lSU and coverage should be associated

in the same word this week because man mike leech went out there with 1994 the hottest offense in 1994 and put up over 600 yards passing on you. Six, six hundred. In fairness, who could have foreseen that Mike Leach wasn't going to change a fucking thing

about his offense? The chameleon, Mike Leach. That bastard is trying three plays now. Not one. At times, I was sitting. they're calling out the plays.

Not because I'm brilliant, but because I was like, well, that's the third one. And there's the first one. There's the second one, and the second one, and the second one. And there's the third one.

KJ. Costello didn't even get on campus until June. June. Like, like, that's, this was, like, do you remember how bad Mississippi State wasn't passing the ball? Like Nick Fitzgerald,

who I think we said that it was like watching somebody try to throw a football with hooves for hands. So for about two or three years, Mississippi State Twitter, use the hashtag, I forget the exact wording. Always run, never pass, as I believe, the message. And I assume that has completely flip-flopped.

Always pass, never run. Yeah, now Kyle and Hill's just like, cool. I'm cool with like eight carries a game. As long as I get the 23 receptions that I'm going to get for the rest of the year. Just catching swing passes for days, y'all. Yeah, they couldn't, like, at one point they motioned something. somebody and I was like, oh, that guy, the guy in motion, like sometimes Mike Leach calls plays like you're playing Madden or like you're playing NCAA if you put a guy in motion.

Jason, when you play it, have you ever put a guy in motion who is not immediately going to run a streak that you called? Yeah, I think so. That's a lie. If you send the guy in motion, you are throwing to him, though. Yeah, okay, one, you're definitely throwing to him. Two, I'm going to give you about a 98% chance that you audible to a go route that you send him deep. So Mississippi State in the fourth quarter, motions a dude comes left to right, right

behind. Everybody goes, oh yeah, that guy. That's where the ball's going if you're playing in C-Double A. Oh, look, he's running a go route. That's where the ball went for a touchdown. No, I'm sorry, that was only about a 40-yarder. Yeah. How many passing yards did Mississippi State finished with? 600 and, I want to say 660. No, I'm trying to get to 666, which Mike Leach will try to do it. one point uh six two three six okay yeah six hundred and twenty three for kj costello let me find you continue i'm going to try and find the last team to throw for six six six how long do you think it took in 2019 mississippi state to reach that many passing yards for the season what game do you think they did it in eight okay that's that's very silly mm-hmm five

close it's four four yeah oh dear lord they asked me how many 300 yard passing games Mississippi State had last year how many 300 year passing games did Mississippi State have last year zero not one wow I was going to say one

I don't I'm I'm not sure anyone has ever thrown for 66 passing yards in a game it hasn't happened in at least 20 years in FBS per sports reference if it has has not happened at Wazoo, especially under Leach. I mean, to be fair, if it hasn't happened at Lubbock under Leach either, yeah.

I'm keeping it really... Oh, that opened the Stargate, wouldn't it? There's possibly D3. That's the only thing I'm keeping in mind here. You know, like down in the lower levels, things get real weird. Yeah, Dante taught us that. That's the whole point of Dante. Those underground levels...

And he's wearing the turnover necklace made of assholes. Although, So 666, technically that is at the top level. It's the weird stuff at the bottom that bubbles up to the top. And then we have 666 on our actual planet's crust here. So it's like a water main problem? Yeah. Yeah, that's what Revelation is about.

All right. What you're telling me. I'm just going to do Dante's Underground, but with Super Mario graphics and the music from the underworld levels. do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do what's not down there I'm going to be so mad when I get there what is the Lubbock's version of Dante's underworld is you're like the potato salad here it's just mustard that's all it is no potatoes no taters it's just mustard it's just mustard there's not dust in anything or on anything.

It's horrifying. Like the Lubbock Underworld, is that like 10 feet down? They have trees. Or I guess you got to drill for oil. Is it like a rainforest? Yeah, it'd be a rainforest. It's so confusing. Everything here could kill you too, but it's all wet.

It's all wet and everybody's a Texas fan. It's horrible. Is it possible, Spencer, that you manifested everything that LSC was doing? It's entirely possible. It's don't give him that power. Well, here's my logic, because Spencer, at one point, I'm pretty sure, but yeah, I'm looking at it. In February, Spencer wrote, like, basically, don't worry about 2020 if you're LSU. Just treat it as football, Marty Gras.

Like, it'd be great, you know, run the table and repeat. That'd be fun, but just, like, have a good time. Don't really worry about it. like given how many players have decided they'd just rather not participate which is fine not going to blame them the slightest and given uh bo palini choosing not to really participate from a defensive play calling perspective like maybe they listened having a little land yet yeah maybe so the part of that that might be through me is that they have a good time did they appear to be having a good time on Saturday?

No, no, not at all. And the fellows who opted out, hmm. Good idea. I was just thinking about what a good time they were having prior to opting out. Maybe they were setting up a good time. Like maybe this is where you have to have something go, like this is where you fuck up a chore

so that your parents don't ask you to do it anymore. like you you love the dishwasher so poorly that it breaks three things they're like how you're 14 how did you manage that they're like don't load the dishwasher and you're like great because nobody's like the pressure's way off lSU now i think the funniest arguments i heard coming were this that one well they just need to practice you know tackling okay Is that going to interfere with trying to cover everyone running crossing routes all day in man? When there are very obvious patented ways to defend this offense with superior talent that have worked before. And by the way, LSU, not a real controversial statement, probably still has superior talent to misstate.

Yeah, you might have looked at some of that film. You know, you might have looked at what Jimmy Lake did at Washington. Because I don't believe Washington State out there scored more than 14 points against Jimmy Lake. The entire time that Mike Leach was at Washington State, every year, couple come up go, man, it's going to be crazy. It's going to be crazy. This is your Washington state's going to do it. Look at it. It's going to be amazing. We're going to have a serious game. They play Washington and they get skull dragged. Just thrown around the place. Denied, beautiful Gardner Minshu, our moustachioed boy, who maybe had the only successful transition from

college to pros that was 100% flawless and that it was like, oh man, where can they go where Cardiner Menchew's entire mystique his image won't be ruined jacks baby that's it's perfect where's he going he's positively fancy the only quarterback who had a successful transition from the NFL from college to the NFL somebody should go from the NFL to college damn it I'm just going to say that and that person should probably be Tom Brady so I can watch him get sacked in the sunbelt I feel like Chris Winky did it he kind of did didn't he yeah I choose to believe that's what happened Just ran time backwards.

Whoa, Frankie Friday. Yeah. Is my hair back? Well. This is true. If you asked me to guess Chris Winky's age, I'm not sure I could get the right decade. No. Who's older, Chris Wanky or Jake Delome?

Shit. Yep. I'm going to go Jake Delome. Oh, I don't know. I'm not looking. I'm not. I'm not. No.

I don't want to find that out. Come on. Please at 38 Godfrey and tell him. who you think is older don't tell him anything else yeah just just one of those two names yeah the just yeah just bombard him with emails that just say jigged alone he's gonna be so mad he's like is this a batman thing are you guys fucking with me about batman that's Chris Winky is that is that a code for the riddler no it's not code for the riddler Chris Winkie's older by the way then the Riddler god yeah okay

he's older he's 48 wow yeah i i definitely would not have gotten that decade right okay real real age though if i had to just clock it i bet that guy's birth certificate says he's 53 easy and then when he was at florida state it's like what 32 yeah yeah he's around 32 so yeah i don't know what on earth lSU was doing i don't know what they were thinking I don't know how they were doing the same thing over and over again against the team that, like we all said, couldn't throw for 60 yards last year. I don't know why on earth they didn't adjust anything. And I don't know what K.J. Costello was thinking exactly other than, oh my God, this is awesome. I played for David Shaw.

And now I can throw the ball 500 times a game wherever I want at. will this is brilliant what a wonderful feeling to come from stanford where i'm sure they were probably telegraphing plays and like you can throw to one of two men and if not take a sack and we will punt i wish stanford was like brass ballsy enough to just run a massive social campaign after that game just be like yeah basically stanford beat lSU basically kind of surprise given their silicon valley alignment that they don't have a more belligerent social media presence except in the years when ryan is rooting for them that's true i mean hashtag stanford made yeah what would be more stanford than taking credit for a

state school's performance and putting it on their shoulders yeah i did that we did that we funded it you see we put the initial investment into kj costello and then he went to mistake his blood to keep ourselves young oh sorry that was that was real specific But accurate. Entirely accurate. Now they're going to leverage buyout Mississippi State. We own it now, you fools. Yeah.

We bought up all your stock. Now we're taking all the money out. I think with Mississippi State, it's literally stock in terms of like... That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Chicken stock, pig stock. Or foreclosing on bully.

Oh, God, bully's credit rating. It's ruined. It was already bad. It was. I don't think bully's credit. Bully. All right. Lightning round.

In what mascot's name could you open a line of credit in that town with no second guessing? I'm going to say Bivo. Sir Big Spur. I think Revely surpasses this. Wow. Oh, yeah, Shirley. She's like the president. Like she doesn't carry a wallet or keys or anything.

She has people to do that for her. I disagree on a technicality. I don't think Revely could get a line of credit. because that implies that Reveley would have to pay it back. Not really. Like Nick Saban has, Nick Saban has quote fingers mortgages to pay, right? Yeah, that's fair.

Revely also has the good sense not to get caught up at a bunch of South Florida real estate hooey, though. Am I right, boys? Why does Revely own a Mountain Dew bottling plant? That's confusing. I would also say this. I'm going to really disagree with Ryan, because there's no way Big Spuror isn't cash on.

there is no way I'm sorry are these all camel cash how did you still have these yeah but then you don't take him and he starts pecking I'm going to pay you in a handful of shotgun shells

four pearls and this pack of smokes and big spurs like I'm going to make it work that's good doing business with you like big spurs paying people in animal crossing goods right he's like

well I have iron and I have a shirt will you take that strictly barter with him A shirt. Imagine playing Settlers of Catam with Will Must Champ. What South Carolina man owns a shirt? I ain't building a road longer than three.

I ain't doing it. Yeah, I think the mascot, by the way, who can get a loan, no questions asked, no matter what at any time, is the Stanford Tree because he's the son of privilege. He's clearly insane, has no qualifications, and that's why he'll get the loan. He'll walk up and be like, hey, I need $48 billion for my mind. I invented a marrow transplant system.

You want to invest? Yeah, and George Schultz will be like, that sounds really prudent. Henry Kissinger is on my board. Yeah. God, he would be. Speaking of drinking blood. I mean my skateboard. He's right behind me.

Hello. Fucking Ollie, Hank. He would, too. You'd be like, man, I hope Kissinger dies doing that Ollie. I need all over a trash can. You'd be like, I hate you, old man. This is getting awkward at this point. If Henry Kissinger dies in a skateboarding accident tomorrow,

our powers are off the tape. We can't use them anymore. No. Wait, why would you want to see? If we killed Henry Kissinger, why would you want to stop? Brian, if that happens, I want a metal pin to our chest. Yeah. Where's the grateful nation?

Jesus. What are we, no, but are we considering the more likely outcome that he pulls a sick ollie over a trash can. And we're all like, oh, God. Damn it. Okay, if that happens, our powers are off limits. Shit, no, that's just going to make me want to use them more, too. You know, worst part will be like, I'm so jealous of his old ass. I think all that will mean is we just need to learn how to get more specific.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's the Stanford, Stanford tree. Definitely there. The one mascot I know could not get, could not get it. and would not want it is Smoky. Smokey doesn't trust banks.

Smokey's like, hmm. Yeah, what would Smokey be doing in a bank? This is like, UGA walks in the door and they're like, not again, dude. We're going to call your dad if you don't get out of here. UGA's just a UGA fan. I mean, UGA, they're just going to wait on the estate. It's coming in like a year or two.

And in that little house on the sideline, you can repo that thing for the rest of it. Jason said it so I didn't have to. The loan officer going, a five-year loan? You're sure about that, sir? Why did you take out a Burger King credit card? Because it came with a free visor, idiot. Would you get a Burger King credit card?

No. Actually, I would, and I would use it all the time, just to see if anybody said anything. Just handed it over. Does this say Burger King Bank? Sir, this is a Nordstrom. I'm sorry, it's his Burger King Platinum, you fuck face.

Swipe it. Swipe it. It doesn't have a chip. They can't afford it. Yeah, the black card. The black is the, it's not black. It's the char grilled. I'm sorry.

This is the Burger King char grilled. This card, sir, is guaranteed by the Royal Bank of Burger. Oh, God. God, legal tenders, y'all. I can't even get to a joke. I just wanted to say it. I just wanted to say it out loud. God, it'd be even better if it were back

by like the People's Republic or like the People's Army. If it was backed by like the PRC's army, right? I mean, what time is it? The Grand Army of China guarantees my Burger King credit card. Turns out the Burger King was the Shah all along. It's nuts, man

Anyway, swipe it I got to buy these shotgun shells We're doing a barter with Sir Big Spur Because he only takes cash Bullets or ass And I only got two of a buddy Seychelles It's Seashells. Sparkly

They got to be Sparkly No, they got to be the good ones. None of that Stucky shit. That's right. You're welcome, LSU. I was going to clown on you instead. We ended up talking about the credit rating of various mascots. Can I do a, speaking of LSU losing, can I do a PSA real quick? Please, sure.

For as much as our listenership counts as public. Actually, we all went to public schools, so yeah, that's the spirit. Blood Week, the very popular concept, popularized to some degree by this show, when lots and lots of highly ranked college will. football teams all lose it once happens about once a season we've already declared one for this year because of some AP top 25 chicanery if we happen to get another one during the course of the season naturally that would be a wonderful boost and bonus especially because we didn't get one last year so I understand folks are fired up eager raring for one to produce itself it's great

that you're excited we like that it's great to you're excited but don't scare it you jinxed it when with Arkansas. Let's really, let's really drink in that fact that Georgia was struggling with Arkansas. Oklahoma had lost to Kansas State. LSU was losing the Mississippi State and Texas was losing to Texas Tech all at once with other top 25 games still to go.

A&M was going to have a real hard time with Vandy. Tennessee, South Carolina was going to be a Tennessee, South Carolina game. So Auburn was struggling with Kentucky a little bit. Yeah, Auburn had barely pulled, you know, barely pulled away. in the last few minutes from Kentucky. But the mentions, the Discord,

is this the Blood Week? Is this a Blood Week? Give it time, give it time. You'll know when it's time. We can't. We try to tell y'all in the offseason, but this is what it feels like when it actually happens. When you know, there won't be a question. We can't spook it.

If Oklahoma goes down, all right, that's a promising sign. The LSU's defending champ LSU's losing. That's a promising sign. But all the, we woke the blood gods before their feast was ready and they retaliated by letting Georgia cover

against Arkansas. I hope that everyone learned a valuable lesson. Also, I'm a slightly disappointed that given the demographic makeup of the audience of the show that more of you are not adept at stalking a deer, so to speak, because that's kind of what we're doing here.

Can we sell Blood Week branded deer stands? Absolutely. Absolutely we are. We're going to be rich. At buck, at buckies. If it ain't buckies or stuckies, it ain't shit. Mm-hmm.

I want that shirt. Is it like a one notable exception? Like, are we going to go hunt Bigfoot? That'd be cool, right? Just because it you'd be to sit in the woods for a long time. That sounds pretty good.

Home field apparel. Hunt Bigfoot. No? No, we can, I mean, but I don't know. we can jump into that yeah all right it's business time i do have i do have one quick blood week question jason you're not going to know this but i'm gonna i'm gonna come back to it another we'll see about that won't we okay maybe you might that's fair is there a team that so frequently

appears in a blood week that if they if they lose you are allowed to quietly think ah the the first seal that's a terrific question it depends on era sure yeah yeah oregon has been very frequent. I can say that over the last 10 or 15 years. If a top 10 Oregon loses, things are, it's weird because it'll probably happen on a Thursday night or a Friday night or very late on Saturday. So either things are already going wild or it's the finishing touch. Yeah.

It's never going to be the like Saturday at noon tone setter. Is Oregon like the Belgium in any kind of European strategy situation? Yes, you have to trample over Oregon to invade either, or yeah, to invade either Washington. If I smell burning waffles, Europe's caving in. I mean, like, Ohio St. Bama, obviously, if they lose, then something is going wrong. But, yeah, Oregon feels really disproportionate there. Something has gone... Askew?

Incorrect, but in an enjoyable way. Right. Yeah, but the gods are listening, is what you're saying. Something has gone awry. Yeah, don't put the food out for them early. Georgia. No, you don't want to feed the blood god's green bananas. Georgia's appeared on a lot of blood weeks.

Every time they play, every time Georgia plays, Georgia plays either South Carolina or Auburn. There's a good chance of a blood week. You know what's fucked up. They're going to get through the Auburn game. And if they win, they're going to think like, okay, cool. Like, that was all right. Probably all safe here. That's probably the only, that's probably the only trap, Kevin,

McAllister put in this house do they play South Carolina like rivalry week I think they I can't remember if they have them like oh no they have holy shit they do thanksgiving yeah they have oh god they're going to Columbia for Thanksgiving yeah thank you God and so are we oh my god decided on Columbia Thanksgiving bird eats you what is the weather in South Carolina even like on Thanksgiving day gravy just gravy oh yeah I love whoever put this schedule together and decided South Carolina and Georgia are arch rivals because in a way I think you're right remember this is this is the game that this is the game that both teams hate both teams absolutely despise playing this game as does everyone

else for the first 59 minutes but in the last minute the winner is you the viewer it's like watching two pythons try to swallow each other like why are we doing this then one of them eventually which like oh no dude look look 59 minutes Hey man, it sucks in here You got a terrible belly Wi-Fi shit You ever do any recruiting at all It's too fucking hot

Stupid stomach I can't get to pGA.com in here Hey you're a dumbass snake You know just like real like Kirby Smart's haircut that hasn't. And there's company too like it just comes down the gullet. You're like oh here comes Missou.

Goh. I'm going to send a snake's gut with Missouri. Here comes the lovely but dangerous Chattaconda. Ryan, please use that voice for the rest of the show. Holly said don't feed the God's green bananas. I heard Cthulu going.

Cthulu does not need fiber. Cthulhu is regular enough. Yeah, he's got, like, big, big, long fast shits, like, right? He's all tentacles. Everything's coming out very smooth. Oh, that's an excellent point. He may be old.

Are you saying he's a born extruder? Yeah, he may be old, but he has the pipes of a young one. Speaking of fast shits, Texas, Texas Tech. I believe that we've decided to award Bedlam to the conference, not to a team, right? Yeah, I think, I think we wanted to be a, we, we, we, we, have long we quit reading the agenda items to let Ryan do his joke no it's fine do his joke

it's fine he's trying to help let him let him try it's cute it is cute you're right um we've we've long been on record to say that Oklahoma Oklahoma State does not deserve the title of bedlam because Oklahoma always wins

it's not even an interesting way like it's the least remember remember Jason's maximum sometimes Oklahoma can win by a little, and sometimes Oklahoma can win by a lot. That's true. You never know what you're going to get. Bedlam.

Bedlam. So, yeah, I think we should have it rotate to the conference matchup in the Big 12. That feels most appropriate. Texas, Texas Tech is a pretty bedlamy matchup over the last, like, I don't know. 10, 15. So we'll start with, like, the recent. the recent events in this series where you have final scores of this most recent 2020 game. Texas won 603.56 in overtime. Two years before that, Texas only beat Texas Tech 4, 41, 34, the year

before that, Texas Tech 1 by 4, the year before that. Texas 1 by 8, the year before that, Texas Tech one by three you obviously have the michael crabtree game in there like this is mostly a pretty interesting matchup even though texas is almost always the more talented team the team with more to play for etc etc and this game this game that they played um this last saturday did did you all see the ending to this or at least the ending of regulation to this I did not. So this is where you get to go to ESPN.com, and I'm telling you that because now they pay Spencer money.

And you can go to the recap of, or, no, you can't go to it anymore. That's a shame. Anyway, the, what's it called? The win percentage chart for this game was, for lack of a better word, extremely falconsy where at one point in this game uh tex tech takes a 5641 lead with three minutes and 13 seconds left to play you know what i've always said ryan yeah hardest lead to protect in football is 56 41 56 41 yep 15 point lead it's impossible that's right uh texas then scores a fifth uh goes on a yard touchdown drive in 34 seconds. They recover a very good onside kick and score another touchdown

and the two of the two point conversion. Texas Tech still gets the ball with 40 seconds to play, but they can't really do anything with it. And then Texas scores a touchdown in the first overtime frame. Texas Tech doesn't score at all. And that's how you go from Texas Tech leading by 15, 56 points with three like three minutes left to Texas winning 63 56 that's bedlam that's way more bedlam than Oklahoma Oklahoma State yeah that's that's actual but now so I the proposal is as I understand that bedlam is to be earned each year is it in this course of a single season is it still up for grabs if if another big 12 game out bedlam's this is that now bedlam you know I'm open I'm open to interpretation I'm I want to know what you what you all

think. You know, it would be the best. Oh, a Big 12 championship controversy, huh? You say. What if we had dueling bedlums? That'd be Big 12 a shit. Oh, like a shootout. Yeah, a shootout of shootouts.

I like it. We could call one the false bedlam. That's the false bedlam. Sure. That's the bad. Bed lame. Oklahoma, Oklahoma State is bad lame. Badlam.

Bedlam schism. That's what we have. A bedlam schism. Did we pair this with the anti-bedlam? The most reliable and boring? of all results in the Big 12, whatever that may be. No, we call it the day spa, because this continues for some reason to be a rivalry named

after a famous British mental hospital. I think Oklahoma, Kansas is your anti-bedlam. Yeah. Oh, like, can we spell it A-N-T-E Bedlam? No, never mind. That's a different Latin meaning. Oh. Yeah, I also like the idea of us just deciding this on like Tuesday and March.

Just get together and be like, you know what? Yeah, we're going to get bored. It doesn't feel like it's Bedlam there anymore, does it? No, we'll just go drive and go get it. Just take the trophy away from them. What are you doing? It's like Tuesday 3 p.m. Yeah. No, the elders have convened. You've lost. I decided Heat Hornets is now Bedlam. Take that. The elders are Spencer and Godfrey. We go in and like, it's just me and Godfrey going into Druid robes with big 64 ounce drinks.

You said it was old people. That's correct. Hey, let's do podcast business right now. Yeah, sure. Let's do it. Podcast Bedlam? The listener will never know about the five minute debate we just had about when to do podcast business. because surely server will cut that out for us. Crisp, crisp editing. Perfect video. Podcast business, it's a business. You might have used a different folks.

With the bedlam and the business, Bedlam business, crazy deals they're here. Crazy deals. Just let him go. Folks, have we got a deal for you? It's crazy. There is another college football podcast. What?

That's right. That's right. In this economy? in none other but this economy and this reality in this country in this solar system split zone duo the latest production by moon crew

and associates it is Richard Johnson and Alex Kirshner are two adorable sons who are highly intelligent at college football who actually invest time and effort in looking up statistics and game film and stuff to discuss college football yeah yeah yeah they definitely inherited

their podcast work ethic from us oh wait is this their version children rebel against their parents right that's what it is if your parents are super squares you're going to turn out a couple of like hippie kids so that's why have these we have these extremely diligent and intelligent children so i have for years been calling for these two to do a podcast together and new always knew all along it would be great and still i was impressed and delighted with their first two episodes it is good it is actually good if you want to if you want to learn things uh tune in if it's subscribe on any platform and here's a

little bit of podcast business inside the podcast business all right i think this is the first ever podcast podcast business when you launch a podcast one good way to help boost it is to subscribe if you know if you work your way around to actually listening hope you do but go ahead and mash that subscribe button that will help ensure that that podcast sticks on those new apple charts a little bit longer so if you want to support the support the whole general thing we have going on most of our is free split zone duo is often free go ahead subscribe if you listen and you like it rate and review as well but uh yeah that's what we got going on this week if you don't like it we don't want to hear about it if you don't like it keep that keep that your dumb opinion to yourself

keep that message yeah i don't i didn't get into this i didn't get into podcasting so i would have to hear from other people we definitely if we yeah we don't want to hear really or acknowledge in any way people who don't like splits on duo frankly no yeah i was going to have a question though Jason, which is this in this economy, my family, we're counting our dollars more carefully than we've ever counted them before. So will I be able to afford a second college football podcast? Absolutely. In fact, these two gentlemen are handing over certified winners at the, at the Vegas betting window each week. So not only will you retain all your dollars, you will be guaranteed to make more. Ryan, I can say all that, right? Yeah, yeah. It's

I'm just a guest. You can do whatever the shit you want. No, you are my attorney. If that's against the law, you can speak with my attorney, Bud Elliott. That I'm okay with. Another word for a wager is an informed investment. That's what they are. Past results are not guarantee you a future performance.

No copyright violation intended. This is all the stuff you say and you can get away with anything. That's right. Wink, wink. Side effects include dizziness. Side effects include increased college football knowledge from listening to Alex Kirshner and Richard Johnson. If you mispronounce it slightly, the podcast name does sound like a prescription drug. Split zone duo.

Splits on a duo. Splits on a duo. Lymphoma has occurred. May cause surly marrow. Homefield apparel.com. The finest producer of clothing in all the world. mostly for the upper body. However, they do also have garments

for the lower body. Each week, they are debuting new colleges, exciting new designs, old school throwback gear. Who we bring in this week, Ryan? North Carolina A&T. This is Homefield's first foray into the HBCU collection, I believe. It's nice to be

excited again after Missou. Yeah, after Missou. After Missou, after Missou, it's nice to get a school that has won national titles, the mix yeah yeah no offense to home field apparel i'm sorry as a mazoo grant i'm gonna have to fact check that take your fucking hat off and ask me again i mean i'm not to disparage it whichever sports mazoo has one titles in there just are none that i know of news that of course is a

joke because the news is not a game that was in the funny pages sir we got him i'm going to give you uh i'm just thinking of that episode sorry i want to be over here laughing for the rest of my life go on damn it um right if it makes you feel any better it won't be a long life that's yeah thank you that does help um you're so you're so good at murder i'm going to give you a quick tip if you want to if you want to make your life a little bit better go ahead and pick out with Whichever home field paraphernalia you want to give people for the holidays now. Just buy it now and keep it in your house. And then when it's, I don't know, December 17th and you're freaking out because you didn't get your brother anything, you didn't get your mom anything.

Like, oh wait, yes, you did. October you was smart enough to look out for December you because December you is so sad and. you know, miserable, that he needs, he needs a little help. And this is not me projecting, and I wish you wouldn't say that. No, but I had this, I had a version of this conversation with Spencer this week as he scoffed at me doing some Christmas shopping. And you don't understand. The point of doing this stuff this far advance is not to be prepared or to feel good about yourself. The point is to pregame against your future dumbassery.

Yes, that's exactly. I, Holly, I could not agree with you. more and you use yeah yeah like the entire point of say you know being a prepper is well for some people it is to feel good but that's that's that's not what it should feel good that's not what should feel good the entire point is you are the enemy future you is the enemy this is the person you have to defeat you have to defeat your future forgetfulness and you have to do it ahead of time oh my god it's looper it's christmas looper and you be your own looper Do you want to stop Bruce Willis or not?

You can, if you use the offer code forecast, get 20% off your first order, buy something that you know you're going to give to somebody for the holiday season, and future Bruce Willis, you crumbles over in a heap shot in the gut. So the next time someone says, hey, did you know die hard as a Christmas movie? I'm going to say it's not even Bruce Willis' best in Christmas movie. Bruce Willis is dead. This is the era of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. The real story of Christmas is Bruce Willis dying. No, Bruce Willis' best Christmas movies, 12 monkeys. Bruce Willis died so Jesus could be born.

Iron Man 3 is a better Christmas movie. There, we fix the internet. The best Christmas movie. I will say the best part about this strategy is when you forget that you've done this, and it's like a little surprise. Yeah. Where you were like, oh, shit, maybe I let me look. Oh, no, I did it.

I saved myself. Ryan, this is a good idea. but you know what would happen if someone like Spencer or I did this is we would one day like just a month or two from now presence in a closet come tumbling out yeah we would we would stumble upon a bag of home field shirts and say awesome now I don't have to do laundry clothes for a month all I'm hearing that is also a version of pre-gaming against your future self sure strategy is strong so basically any problems that you have very any problems

on your horizon what you're going to need to do is go ahead and stock up on home field apparel shirts that you can eventually throw at that problem. Right. Agreed. That's literally like literally throw it. While I was doing my fall and winter pandemic shopping this week, I did notice that my laundry detergent, for example, had like quintupled in price. So, hey, the 13 extra homefield shirts that I have in the mail right now are really going to help me, you know, stretch those, those non-laundering. weeks a little further i think we're on the the poll now god i wish any of that had been a joke 2020 i wish any of that had been a joke uh the top 25 i would like to congratulate

oregon on their outstanding performance this week god why are we doing this explain what has actually happened here because here's another thing i'm pretty sure we spoke into existence since a couple weeks ago that we should feel bad about. That the Louisiana. Yeah, that our beloved Cajuns won a third game and then got butted out by Michigan, Wisconsin, Oregon. The AP poll allowing in all the PACs all of a Big Ten teams who have not done anything to this point.

And you might say Oregon's a good football team, to which I say, look at LSU, you don't know that. I really, really like that LSU O and 1 is ahead of O&O, M. Michigan something about that they're like they're like you a x in one brother they're like they're like LSU you you look pretty bad you gave up 85,000 yards to a dude who just walked on campus and you know allowed a coach who called for the same four plays he's been calling for 20 years including in your conference you got your ass kick that's terrible you're falling in the rankings you have

lost your entire starting lineup there's really no hope that you're going to get all that much better within the next month or two. So lower, lower, lower, lower. Oh, there's Michigan. Stop! Right there. You cannot fall below Michigan. You didn't do that bad.

I also like that they sandwiched O and O Wisconsin between they're right above LSU and right below Oklahoma. The Wisconsin belt between the loser teams. Like this is, what did Wisconsin do this week that was like one game better than L.S. you like do are we are we basing this off of actual facts did somebody like i don't know man wisconsin probably wouldn't have done that that's that's 19 i mean with can you imagine wisconsin giving up 660 passing yards no i don't think there's time for that in a wisconsin game no no you know they're at least going to be like i'm offended by what you're doing on all like even if

if wisconsin gets their ass kick it's going to be like you outpunted them you know you're going to you're going to have to you're going to have to do it in a in a hideous way yeah you made our useless quarterback throw like four i and t's yeah i do hope or the organ is um playing an elaborate prank like because the all the teams that we've mentioned are not not only are they not playing yet most of them are not playing for like a solid month and i would understand maybe if you were like okay the way we're going to do this is the week before like the big 10 starts up that's when you can vote big 10 teams in same thing once we get to the back 12 and mountain west if you want to like pick boise or something like that whatever but the fact that we're just going to like let this

sit here for in Oregon's case like at least a month maybe longer I hope Oregon never plays a game this season not because I wish the ducks in the ill will but just so they can like keep lying to the eight people and say no we're going to play yeah we're on our way we're working on it and just see like we're at the exit right now yeah no I'm in my car definitely there it would be there in 15 Oregon Oregon is Oregon is pulling the who all going to be there they yeah right now Oregon is rumors by Fleetwood Mac because Fleetwood Mac a band that is not released an album in over 25 years together had rumors pop up the charts this week it keeps ending up in star wars for some reason yeah up in Star Wars videos yeah because

because some dude on a skateboard in Idaho Springs decided to sing along on TikTok, right? It was Henry Kissinger on skateboard. The other one from this, I mean, Fleet Web Mac deserves to chart, let's face it. I agree. But the really good one from this week was Mariah Carey's rock band from like 1996.

Yeah. That suddenly prices are through the roof. That I think that's also Oregon. Imagine being a working musician on the cusp of succeeding And it's early on in your career and you're like, how we're doing all right? And all of a sudden you get blown by by somebody's like B-sides, some dead or like a performer doesn't put anything out.

That's Oregon. Like Oregon smoking, like Cincinnati. Cincinnati's had two hard-fought games, all right? Pitt is 3 and 0 in 10 spots behind Oregon. That's appropriate though because Pitt is absolutely sweated blood for every single one of these wins. BYU. BYU has won by a combined 7,000 to 10,

and they are eight spots behind Oregon. That's not, man. They're just on their own planet. My favorite part of this poll is none of those things. Those are all great things. It's that you go down the rankings and you can see both how many points each team has gotten in the poll and how many first place votes they got. Clemson has the lion's share.

Alabama has three first place. place votes. And then down at number six, despite not playing, Ohio State has four first place votes more than Alabama, the team that just mollywapped Missouri. Undefeated. Hey, Turk. Herb Street, we see you. Oh, man. Undefeated. Who's, yeah, I was going to say, who's the most well-rested team in the top 10, ready to go. Like, Miami is out here, murdering Florida State. Blowing people up. Destroying Louisville, and they are two spots behind an Ohio state team that is yet to play. Normal.

So stupid. Normal poll. At least Texas is nine. That feels right. Listen, if none of that flips your needle, it's 20-20, and here is Ryan vocally and sincerely standing up for the honor of the Miami Hurricanes in a pole. Wait a second. Is there a coach's poll? Did we just abandon that? I think they're still doing the coach's poll.

I was like, I was like, well, at least it can't get dumb. Oh, God, where's the coaches poll? I'm going to choose not to look at the coaches poll because I assume that theirs is so behind that they never even took the teams out to begin with. The coaches poll is still going, and it is not. We don't need to know about that.

No one needs to talk about the coaches poll. It's like they also dropped Lafayette so that Michigan could appear in the... Ryan, they've earned the Louisiana at this point. Come on, man. stupid yeah Ryan that the sorry you're right LSU is Louisiana Baton Rouge that's right that's that is

the split zone deal rule where if if they play well they're Louisiana and if they don't play well they're Louisiana just based it on record like LSU is 0 and 1 if you get above 500 maybe you can have your acronym back okay that's fair

do we have an upcoming weekend of college football do we do we do we do we do we likely have an upcoming weekend yeah so far science point to yes uh auburn georgia speaking of magic eight balls let's talk about the last game first yeah let's talk about our night cap because it's 1988 again and the night game starts at eight o'clock eastern the last game starts at eight not 10 30 you folks need to get some sleep get some shut eye so you can wake up to stream church

If you watched last year's ACC Championship game, a game that Clemson won by the score of 62 to 17 over Virginia, Clemson with 619 offensive yards. Seems good. That's a lot, in my opinion. And curiously, only 26 minutes of possession, because it turns out when you score quickly, you don't need time. Do you guys want the ball? We're done with it. did you watch this game and think you know what i would like to see that again and soon

because guess what 2020 has provided for you you stupid ass i hate it here that is your that is your prime time game that is your showstopper that's your go-home game we're going to it's definitely a showstopper we're going to bet at like 945 clemson's going to be up like 382 right oh I hadn't thought of this from like a dad vantage perspective oh yeah oh it's oh you guys

we're going to be in bed with the sunset there's an award there by the way the dad van the dad vantage game of the week that'd be in Clemson Virginia asleep by the middle care game of the week I feel like let's not count our chickens though because after essential

Arkansas gets done losing by 85 points to North Dakota State. Could they make it to Hawaii in time for the Midnighter? No, no, they could not. Are you sure? Jason, when you started to say that, I thought you were urging us not to count our chickens, lest we jinx the Clemson Virginia game. And I was like, no, if we're wrong,

Bronco Mendenhall is thrashing Clemson. That's fine. What makes you think, by the way? I'm not sure that we could count enough chickens to make, No, let's start now. What makes you think Central Arkansas can't get to those like... Two. Can't get to those like Godzilla tunnels that they can take through the earth to get there in like an hour.

If we count chickens from right now until kickoff, maybe Virginia can win. 13. Uh-oh, that's a lot of chickens already. Also, by the way, if you hate UVA enough to stay up and watch them take this wolfing in the fourth quarter, you're a weird person. I'm proud of you. Yeah, there's not even going to be any dick punching. it's clemson go hokey's i guess yeah like if this were clemson south carolina you'd go i might sit around watch him get beat 62 seven just so i can see what's happening on the

sideline how mad they're going to get maybe fight breaks out after the game there could be between the coaches yeah yeah so did dabbo take a punch i don't think he can't sorry i was thinking about bronco and will never mind i had that no bronco they just headbutt like rams Dabo is attached to the big guy with the hold of his belt, the get-back guy. You punched Dabo, you got that guy descending on you. Well, and also he can brace Dabo from the rear. So if you knock Dabo back, he can kind of bounce off that dude like he's in some sort of trampoline gym situation. Rebound attack.

Bling. I want to cough the belly. Yeah. So this is a pitiful excuse for a primetime game. But there are good games. We're going to be going to bed nice and early, but we're going to get semblances of a decent college football Saturday, assuming nine games don't get...

I'm talking North Carolina at Boston College. That's what Ryan is talking about. You go straight to hell with that. Ryan is indeed talking that. But is it at the same time that we have... Yes, at the same time that that is happening on ABC. for some reason. Over on ESPN2,

we have number 25 Memphis unranked SMU, which has three times as many wins. This feels like the very tentative game of the week. Like if this happens, it's going to be a 65 to 64 blockbuster, but like anticipating any group of five game to happen, especially one involving Memphis and especially one involving the state of Texas,

if it happens. Hey, Houston. How y'all doing? Yeah. Houston season. It's about to happen. How's going over there? About to drop it.

Percolating. About to hit you with this. Here it comes. Any minute now. Houston's schedule is indeed chopped and screwed. It's a delicious hash. Also, by the way, Memphis and SMU might also be your night game. If they get this thing off.

There might be an 18 overtimes by then. Also, yeah, Virginia Clemson is the 8 o'clock game, but 30 minutes. before then is I believe the earliest Auburn Georgia game of all time in terms of the calendar this is typically a mid to late November game and it's nothing about this season has felt more off than this game appearing in early October like you know everything feels somewhat off but this

this felt like downright unholy looking at this game this early in the schedule. Can I offer a potential counterpoint pro the September scheduling of this game? Sure. Whatever happens, we will get to watch Georgia fans stew about it for the rest of the year.

Oh, sure. Yeah. I'm glad it's happening, you know. Did we get to watch a week on Thanksgiving? There's that. I was leading to that. I was leading to that. Yes. And then instead of Thanksgiving weekend being ruined by Auburn,

we have something much better so there's a lot to like about it being this early you know i'm not really complaining it's just strange just very strange who's gonna be grumpier than a uGA fan with a tight belt and a belly full of like bland mac and cheese and turkey sitting on their couch going oh god damn it we got a place south carolina it's a hearty's thanksgiving

it'll be eight it'll be like eight six in the late third the movie i hate everything so bloated misery is everywhere charlie brown cut me another round slice of the cranberry dressing that you took right out of the camp with the riches on damn good dressing oh damn good dressing don't tell my pastor i said damn