Shutdown Fullcast - THE ROAST OF THE 2008 FLORIDA GATORS

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Our unstoppable train of Dawg-respecting is blasting through your tiny town to bring you the good news: the 2008 Florida football team was not very good! Boats These Days: Are they too big now? "Fellas, is it gay to be buried in the earth after death?" Worry no more! Midway through this episode, Spencer begins insisting that Jason Statham, the actor, has "range"; best of luck hanging on until the end. NEW NEW NEW MERCH available at sunny preownedairboats.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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joining me as always uh here in atlanta georgia holly anderson holly how we feeling just fine spencer thank you uh in beautiful kennesaw georgia joining us slightly remotely jason kirk jason um i just heard the red bear and go over your house in a triplane Is everything okay there? My Georgia Bulldogs are the national champions in football, so. You know what? You can fly whatever you want. I mean, I'm flying a banner, brother.

How about you? Well, I'm just down here honoring the dogs by pursuing the perfect Georgia lifestyle, which is consuming exactly 3,500 calories a day and playing 83 holes of golf, 83, you know. Actually, I used to play 80 holes of golf. Now I've got to up it to 2021 a week Because, you know, I only play the lucky years The better their game is, the better my game is, frankly. I'm giving up golf.

I don't need it anymore. I'm fulfilled. I'm a football school now. Yeah, I'm too Georgia for golf. Fuck that shit. I play football. So in our long ago, how Georgia is this crime pyramid, Jason would be pictured floating above the pyramid.

Yeah, on the stipe. Fuck golf. Fuck golf. Fuck church. Fuck Zaxby's. All I do is watch college football because I'm a Georgia

Bulldogs fan. All right. All right. How's the basketball team doing? The women are doing well. I'm an Auburn basketball fan. Thank you. The most dangerous brand.

That's like that's some like, tell me you're from Columbus without. I love Auburn basketball, Georgia football. And the giraffe at the walkthrough zoo. I'm from Columbus. I like gently flowing river fronts where the water kind of moves. Yeah, I'm in the military as well.

I'm a big fan of insurance and tanks. I love Columbus, Georgia. I love my Auburn basketball, Twitter. I lived there for like two years, right? Were they like the two least memorable years of your life? Yes. By far. I wanted, I think we don't do enough about,

migratory regional sports fans. For instance, if the climate becomes inhospitable for a Georgia native living in Columbus to be fans of Auburn basketball and Georgia football, they could, in theory, just mosey on over to being Auburn football and Georgia basketball. Right? Like, they could just go back and forth depending on, they're like animals, right? Like, if the past year's fallow over here, we'll just follow the green grass over here. I'm imagining the fallowness that would drive one to become a Georgia men's basketball fan selectively.

That's some bleak shit going on on the other side. That's like the grass is always present situation. It didn't even greener, no. The grass is always theoretical. You should talk to my lawn, you son of a bitch. somebody who lives in Atlanta like this town does get I think fair credit as being a sports town but not enough

for being a weird sports town the sports fan here could fluctuate between a wild number of schools within two hours drive of this place easy maybe if you extend it out a little bit further right like the Atlanta fan could in theory be like well you know I'm a I'm a Gamecox fan right now

because their football team's kicking ass that's how you know we're in a hypothetical Hey, Spencer, speaking of jurisdiction, did you know what's possible to arrest a boat? Speaking of the South Carolina School of Law, I did not. Like not the captain, but the boat. The boat. The boat. As near as I can tell, the boat. This comes from Numblock News, written by longtime front of the program, Walt Hickey.

This is from an article in Bloomberg. The United States has issued an arrest warrant for the Crystal Sands. Symphony, a luxury cruise ship. And it's now diverted from its original plan to dock in Miami and is making a play to the Bahamas where it docked Saturday. A company filed a lawsuit trying to recoup

$4.6 million in unpaid fuel fees for three of the ships owned by the operator of the Crystal Symphony, which is currently having some cash problems. No. And here we go. Here's the money sentence.

a U.S. Marshal is prepared to arrest the ship if it shows up into a U.S. port. I am picturing a lone U.S. Marshal standing at the docks in Biloxi, in Pensacola, in, I don't know, Naples, just all around, just eyes squinting for the Crystal Symphony. There are passengers on the ship who were planning to return from their 14-day voyage on January, How about that? They were told that they would be diverting to an island where the billionaire owner of the company has a casino and resort and would be ferried from there to Fort Lauderdale. So they have to get them on a different boat in order to get them home? I guess. Anyway, the most important part is you can arrest a boat.

Is it a boat a transformer? is it is it optimist crime it's apparently this is out of Hong Kong so it's entirely possible that it's some kind of Pacific room situation is it the boat has become sentient

and like is it the flying Dutchman cursed cursed to sail the waves yeah but like it's a very specific and I think Floridian kind of curse because it's not a curse where you're undead and have to wander forever it's that you're forever indebted to one guy

who you owe gas money to not forever undead forever in debt that's the forever that's so ghost work in florida you can't i have good i have good news and bad news okay give me the good news first you're immortal and you have your own cruise ship awesome what is it your credit rating sucks forever so this article from the 23rd i'm going to see if there's any updates on the crystal symphony sorry about your floating meth lab but yeah this specifically says arrest warrant for a boat hmm for a boat is it i know it's a ship now it's a ship you fucking dorks don't at me now who does this arresting is it like

local cops u.s. marshals okay so that's one u.s. marshals saying freeze motherfucker so this means that in theory rail and givens could have an episode of the new justified series where... It is the U.S. Marshals because the whole reason they were diverted to the Bahamas was to avoid the U.S. arrest warrant over the unpaid fuel bills. That's, yeah. So that means Raylan could, you know, Rayleigh could shoot a ship. You know where he starts the show, right?

You know that's why he's in Miami. Yeah. He's there to shoot his ship. The ship tried to get the draw on Raylan, but he shot it. Crystal Symphony's 700 guests disembarked the vessel on Sunday morning in the Bahamas guests on Sunday. boarded a ferry to Port Everglades, which was said to be a rocky ride with rough weather. Taking a ferry boat from the Bahamas to Fort Everglades?

Oh, Port Everglades. Oh, Port Everglades. That's so sticky. That's so bad. Hey, if you know anyone who is on this ship. There are a local news is all over this. There is a Scottsdale couple has already been interviewed. A travel influencer was on board. a British lawyer has already given his story A British lawyer Seesick on a ferry headed to Port Everglades

I'm gonna say something because this brought up a whole bunch of news stories about cruise ships I'm gonna, I have a take Yeah These boats are too big This is an affront to God I mean I know they're environmental disasters on a good day But these boats are too big

And just looking at them makes me uneasy I'm so glad you talked about this We need to bring back little boats. I was like, they're too big. What, you want to take more people on a cruise? Go make a second boat. So, does the boat go to boat court and boat jail? And on all that?

Boat court. That's a good question. So you actually, like, this was a point that, that you kind of just made by instinct. You're like, that looks too tall, right? Yes, they're too tall. Okay. I understand there's physics. I don't care.

Yeah, no, no, there's physics that say that you might be right. Wait, what? Because there is a New York Times article, New York Times magazine article that talked about the Anthem of the Seas. The Anthem of the Seas had a massive roll up to 40 degrees per the New York Times. There is some dispute, meaning that it would list 40 degrees to one side. Now, if you remember, 40, remember 45 is, you know, 45's halfway between laying down in the water and perpendicular. It's, it got to 40, so leaning all the way over. So more.

Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Not good. Now, that was later corrected to 18. 18 still ain't great. It's, it's fine. But for a boat that.

big even if it was 18 that's uh who yeah but anthem of the seas that y'all if you're booking a cruise make sure it's not that one wait now i'm looking at an article where there are a whole bunch of engineers who are like cruise ships shouldn't work and we don't actually know why they do is this a comment on the business model or on the boat no like the physics of the boat we don't actually know why this works this should not work because i like the bumblebees are too fat to fly thing Yes, kind of. And still they're like, Big Kings!

They're kings! Somebody sent me an article after, I just remembered, somebody sent me an article a couple weeks ago after we were talking about water polo, about how the egg beater kick in water polo, there's a study on it where water polo players actually produce more energy and more lift out of the water than should be possible, given the volume of water they're displacing with their legs. It's like little wizards in rubber hats The shutdown full cast

Little Wizards In rubber hats I had to get that boat crime thing in Speaking of boat crimes Oh boat crimes I can't think of a university or an institution More equipped to Speak knowledgeably

Or at length about boat crimes Than my own beloved alma mater That is right The University of Florida This week we are going to try to present a fair and balanced portrayal of the wonder, the magic, the nightmare, the Marvel, the

horror that was the 2008 Florida Gators. I don't remember that shit. I don't remember that shit. That was a long fucking time ago. Nobody remembers that shit. I wouldn't even a blogger then. Wait, yeah, I was. You were. Yeah, it was so long ago.

You're just saying that because I worked for you. It was so much, it was so much further away from us than you know January 2021 or 2022 is right on the calendar it seems to me that that one is much more recent and fresh than 2008 is that correct 2008

that's it that's the argument 2008 2008 Florida doesn't have won a title since 2008 Florida ain't won a title since right there by Chingey Florida hasn't done a goddamn thing This is 2008.

Mm-hmm. Florida, Florida ain't won a title since like, since like, you know, I'm trying to think of a movie that was two thousand, semi-pro. Semi-pro was 2008.

What's a crash? Dude, no, that was earlier. Iron, the first Iron Man. Iron Man won. Ironman. Here we go. Let's talk movies, okay? All right, all right.

I have fortunately, completely coincidentally, written down some facts, all right? No. Florida has not won a national title in football since the Day of the Earth stood still. The movie starring Keanu Reeves was in theaters

called The Day The Earth Stood Still. The first Twilight movie was still in theaters. The last time Florida won anything, we're now so old. Kristen Stewart's going to win an Oscar, which I don't think she deserves it, because pretending it's the mid-90s is worth an Oscar, we ought to give it to Florida fans. her cohort robert patinson is becoming the fourth guy to star as batman since florida last won a title which is also how many head coaches florida has had in that time um the number one movie on the day florida last won a title um it was about something really fun that didn't last much longer it was about marley and me uh which ended about as well as florida's program did um speaking of my man it's not over

Oh, Marley and Me? Have you never seen it? Marley and Me, it stopped filming. The story ended, just like the University of Florida's football program did. Have I told, so I was living in Los Angeles at the time and working in Hollywood, the city, not Hollywood, the glamorous, you know, catch-all phrase. And there was one of those huge building spanning advertisements for Marley and me, you know, where they wrapped the whole side of a building. and somebody in black spray paint had gotten up there and just in huge letters you could see it for

you could see it for miles because this was a huge ad on the side of a skyscraper and someone had very helpfully written the dog dies in what I feel is a public service really and then what happens the dog rises again that's right

you might lose 41 10 You go come back. It's all going to take you 13 years. 41, 10, what does this mean? 2021. These are the numbers. I know. I got scores for you. Did you mention Iron Man, of course. At the time, Florida last won a national title.

The entire Marvel Cinematic Universe was four hours long. That ain't much. These days, that's how long it takes to watch Missouri beat Florida. I watch South Carolina dominating Florida, and I think, ugh, in game. folks for my next joke man imagine losing to Kentucky a week before homecoming

that's the name of a Marvel movie and that's also something Florida did another laugh track in here another Marvel movie is called No Way Home and that's a nostalgia fest about stuff that happened when we were young like Andrew Garfield being Spider-Man four years after

Florida's last national title so long it's been speaking of the guys who are coming back speaking of let's see the number one album have you heard this folks the last time Florida won a national title was Taylor Swift's Fearless

in 2021 she did that exact same thing all over again but Florida sure didn't that has me seen Fred for the birds for the birds by the way just randomly

looking at this the thing that made me feel oldest is that Florida hasn't won a national title since Liam Neeson's Taken came out the original Taken Yeah, taken out in 2008 You know what else was taken is

Go ahead Georgia took all the titles away from Florida older recruits Florida doesn't have any particular set of skills that's for sure the number one song at the time of Florida's last national title had a chorus

Florida will never hear again put a ring on it Florida then sang to the National Treadle Trophy, my life would suck without you and it has still alive at the time Florida didn't suck most recently Paul Harvey, Robert McNamara

Walter Cronkite Norman Borlaug and Circuit City the last time Florida football didn't suck Jamar Chase who might win a football championship this year was eight years old reigning Heisman winner Bryce Young was seven Notre Dame's head coach was 22

the last time Florida didn't suck that Taylor Swift song did not exist yet but Bitcoin did it had just been created then spent the next couple decades sucking up attention accomplishing nothing of any clear value just like Florida let's see here are a few things that weren't invented yet the last time Florida did anything worth a goddamn Instagram

unless we're counting photos of Jim McElwain fucking a shark TikTok where teenagers stalk each other with dance moves which is how Dan Mullen recruited this is actually true yeah that's not a joke Minecraft my daughter's played at her entire life and it's four years younger than Florida last national cycle. VR headsets where you can pretend Florida is good. Listen, we had, listen. Does that technology exist?

It's in the metaverse, I think. Yeah, that's the, again, another another thing where you won't find anyone. The metaverse. Siri didn't exist. Hey, Siri. Hey, yes. Siri still doesn't work.

I was going to ask. when Florida last one is a national title. It doesn't remember. Urban Meyer had yet to be an Ohio State Integrity professor fired by the boss of WCW Part 2, which sounds pretty funny, but he's also the last good coach Florida will ever have, so laugh it up.

Bunch of shit. Oh, okay, here's a football-specific one. The top five college football recruiting teams of the last 14 years are Alabama, Georgia, LSU, Ohio State, and Florida. Um, they've combined for nine national titles, zero by Florida. Wow. Um, fortunately, Florida's not going to have to deal with that embarrassment much longer because

their 22, 22 recruiting class currently ranks between Rutgers and Vanderbilt, but could still finish between Arizona and Indiana. We're doing very well in the transfer portal. Thank you. Thank you. Um, the other titles were won by teams with less recruiting talent than Florida. Uh, in that time span, the NCAA record book. officially list Florida third in the state of Florida in FBS national titles.

UCF was in Conference USA the last time Florida did anything and has won a national title and beaten Florida in Florida's most recent football game. Since Florida did anything, FSU won a title and collapsed afterward, but at least current recruits remember FSU's last title because they were three in 2008. You know, I'm going to pause you for a second and take us back a minute. Do you remember the name of Orson Charles? I do.

Sounds like that, that sounds like something that happened in 2008. So no one, no, no. So Orson Charles was a coveted tight end recruit who was deciding between among other things and other offers was deciding between Florida and Georgia. And on April 16th, 2008, Orson Charles turned in Urban Myers, office and knocked over with his ass the handcrafted waterford crystal trophy indicating the 2006 BCS National Championship trophy it was insured however it was worth 35 grand this is not the point at which Florida football began to suffer grievous consequences for its success however I would point this out that Orson Charles went to Georgia and from that point on once Orson Charles took the field for

Georgia, after the title in 08, things went downhill. Am I saying that this is a one-for-one correlation that Orson Charles asked started the downfall of the Florida national title? No, is it right there as a correlation and perhaps bear some further study? I'm not against that. Speaking of recruiting, unless Billy Napier wins a title within his next three years, despite having to play Georgia and Alabama all the time, there will be no high school football players in the world who were alive the last time

Florida won anything, which means Florida is basically Miami. I take that back. Miami had a winning record this year. Speaking of 06, the last two times Florida won anything, it was by beating Ohio State in Oklahoma. In the many years since that happened, both those schools have ranked number one in both football and men's basketball. It gets worse because so has Auburn.

In total football wins since Florida last won a national title. Florida trails. BYU, TCU, San Diego State, UCF, Michigan State, FSU, Stanford, Cincinnati, Notre Dame, plus 10 actually good teams, and Florida Trails Penn State, which had like a semi-death penalty in this span. Florida is tied and wins with the team most frequently mocked by the shutdown full cast for its consistent mediocrity. Iowa! They've been really good, though. They've been really good.

Iowa, they're a great football team. They're a great football team. Why go through all that? Just park one guy. Is that so we can tell them apart? Yes. I think you should have kept Ronzook, too. I agree.

You know what? It's not too late. For Florida it is, because it's not 2008 anymore. In bowl games, where all Florida has done is literally shit its pants. Florida had the eighth longest bowl attendant streak in college football history. but in that particular stat Nail trails heavyweights like Mississippi State Memphis UCF again as usual

always Kentucky Wake Forest Iowa State and Marshall this is football by the way and also boasting a longer bowl streak in Florida is Appalachian State which didn't even get here until 2014 also joining App State and the Sunbelt that year was Georgia Southern

in their final FCS game they beat Florida it has been 4,765 days since Florida won a football championship Florida's entire football trophy case has since been equalized by two ACC programs. It'll be at least 5,000 days between Florida national titles, pretty likely at least 6,000,

quite likely literally decades, maybe a quarter century, and football really might not exist before Florida ever wins another national title again. Go dogs. We should make sure to abolish football before Georgia can win it. Before Florida you want another title, just to

be safe. The problem might take care of itself. Oh no, no, no, no. is Florida. Problems in Florida never take care of themselves. Tell that to the pinworms. Yeah. Tell that to the gas man. The gas man will keep your fucking cruise ship in the Bahamas. He'll put your ass right over there. The boat that

is Florida football. We keep trying to arrest it, but it's just floating out there. Have I told the story on this show about being at a spa with two women who, upon finding out they were both from the St. Petersburg, Tampa area, immediately started comparing all the times in childhood that they had contracted worms from playing in a puddle. Mm-hmm. Pin-worms.

Like loud, loud conversations in a room full of naked people about all the worms that they had had. It's an amazing state. It's a different, it's a different way to be. Sure is, pal. On the whole, yeah. Those are all facts. Those are all facts about Florida football.

And I'm hoping that because we are so powerful That by mentioning all of these things We've instantly cursed Reverse cursed Florida into being good again That's where I'm just going to sit with this No the reverse curse is Tennessee still can't beat them Yep You're welcome

This year I don't know if that's true But shut up The oldest game You enormous bitch We're going to lose to you No You're going to lose to you. No! You're going to

to lose to us. The battle for fourth in the SEC East. And that's our show. Good job, everybody. It's a savage. It's a savage one. The 2008 Florida thing, I know every now and then there will be a tweet or an Instagram post that goes around.

It's like, yo, this was the craziest team. And they'll just list a bunch of facts that I think we do take for granted. And then there's all the shit that we know and can't say. And then there's all the shit that we don't know. There's all of the shit that is absolutely 100. Like, remember how this started? The 2008 season started with Colt Brennan, rest in peace, saying that Tebow was a system quarterback, which...

Find the lie. Colt Brennan was not lying, okay? He was definitely not lying. But also it was enough to make Florida real mad, and they beat Hawaii 5610. Then what? in a game where Cam Newton played before taking over his Florida starter in 2009

and leading us to two more national titles, as everybody knows. And then, yeah, then Florida just, Florida featured among other players. Was this the Ronnie Brown year, or was that the year before? Which one? The Ronnie Brown parking lot incident.

It wasn't Ronnie. That was 2006, where we had a Ronnie Wilson. Oh, I'm mixing him up with. Antonio Brown, sorry. Yes, Ronnie Wilson, an offensive lineman who I believe in 2006, or maybe even 2005, produced an AK-47 from the back of his trunk in downtown Gainesville and fired it off because he said he felt threatened. I thought this was on campus. No, this was downtown, which makes it not worse, but slightly different.

Different, yeah. Different, outlandish, but different in either case. This was the year that featured among other people on the team. Yes, a young Aaron Hernandez. And in addition to that, featured Tony Joyner. Tony Joyner is now in prison for murder. So those were two people who were definitely on the team with Tim Tebow. You might remember Joyner was Tebow's rebate, right?

Uh-huh. Because I remember this was when broadcaster's favorite candy trope was to talk about which football player. Kids, there was a time when before it was legal to talk about games. gambling on the air sportscasters were reduced to saying things like repeating over and over again which players were roommates ask your parents about colt mccoy and jackson shippley hey they're roommates just see if their eyeballs twitch yeah jackson shippley which one which shippley was that jordan shippley jordan shippley excuse me i would never besmirch jason of the houston of the houston shipley's who are y'all people shipley yeah so those two people are definitely on there percy harvin who may or may not have beat up an assistant in the locker room we know that for a fact we don't know to what degree there are varying reports on how severe this scuffle was whether it was a scuffle or whether it was percy harvin uh tombstoneing billy gonzalez in the middle of the locker room and urban mire not really doing anything about it in either direction if you were thinking

this whole time yeah all of these stories all these stories about florida 2008 are absolutely absolutely, you know, exaggerated. No, they're pretty much factual. All of them. I mean, I think it's like anything from ancient history. Like, you can say anything happened in the times no one remembers. And it's like, oh, sure. History is written by the victors.

Why not? Yeah, I guess. Which is why ancient history is written by Florida. Yeah. Florida hasn't won a national title since 2008, but Georgia has. Speaking of which, sorry, folks for excuse me for interrupting, but it's time for our weekly lifestyle segment check-in. How's the Tahoe?

Let's start with our intrepid producer, Michael Serber, who's already had a very long day. Server, how's the Tahoe, buddy, hanging in there? Yeah, Tahoe's good. Tahoe's, you know, it runs like a top. It really does. Glad to hear it, glad to hear it. Congratulations on all your success.

Jason, how's the Tahoe, buddy? I've seen a fucking U.S. Marshal tried to arrest my Tahoe. I said, motherfucker, it ain't a boat. It sails like one, don't it? But it ain't a boat, dumbass. That's how they get you. That's how they get you. Spencer, how's it Tahoe? That's pretty good.

It got me to the course today. I played, you know, it was a short day. I was able to get in, you know, 72 holes before work. And wedges were hitting clean, like my short game was on. It was just one of those special days. And I was feeling pretty good about it. You know what gave me security to keep that good vibe going? Sorry, that's all the time we have to pay for, how's your Tahoe?

Let's continue the show. Go dogs. Go dogs. So, you know, the Tahoe, it's going to guzzle a little bit of gas. Ta Homefield apparel. And I'm driving a truck. Nothing gets me to the next place the truck goes better than home field apparel on my body. Which I acquired thanks to offer code full cash.

Got me 20% off in terms of the money paid, not in terms of the fabric that's covering my body in my Tahoe. You know, there's nothing more Georgian than owning a Tahoe and referring to it repeatedly as the truck. But if there would be one thing that could compete with that phenomenon, in terms of Georgitude, it would be impulse purchases after a sporting event made in the name of a motion. Buy!

Buy these Georgia fabrics, mostly for the... the upper body. They got Georgia championship shirts, they got Auburn basketball shirts, and they got Yukon pants. Those are all the clothes I need. What about driving an SUV and calling it the truck? That feels very Georgia as well. Very Georgia, too, because remember, it's not feminine.

Yeah, that's the thing, right? That's not a minivan. I need to make sure everybody knows that I only drive to the Zaxby's and to the low-impact golf course in the most masculine and ferocious vehicle possible a truck no oh my honda odyssey has balls i hung them there myself right on the back bumper what is the what's the best vehicle to hang truck nuts off of like a honda fit it fits pretty good that might make the whole thing lopsided yeah yeah but man i can't fish tail anymore in this thing hung some truck nuts off the back and it just weighs it down.

Doesn't fly all the place like it used to. I'm going to say the funniest thing you can hang truck nuts off of would be a hearse. We have a new business idea. Trademark, trademark, trademark. Don't steal it. This week's business idea. It's like toxic masculinity, the funeral home. That's what we're going to do.

Yeah, don't go to the grave like a bitch. Fellas isn't gay to be buried. Fellis isn't gay to be buried in a hearse that doesn't have truck nuts. Buried rhymes with married and getting married. That's something women do. You're going to let me lay there and let dudes look at me. Yeah. You're going to let me lay on puffy.

A lot of model at a sushi buffet. On puffy silk. A more, you're going to let me lay there naked while some guy cuts me open? I don't know. Sticks tubes in me? Hell no. Hell no. Not me, brother.

I'm not going out like that. Spring break was a long time ago, Gavin. Yeah. There's going to be people crying. Ugh. Uh. Put me in a coffin that looked. It looks like a charcoal briquette.

Oh, man. Do you think they make race car coffins like they do race car beds? So you can like enter and exit the world in your own like little red coop? I know for a fact they do. Yeah. Awesome. They do. Are you going to tell me that I can be buried in Kyle Petty's Mellow Yellow?

No, but I bet with custom stuff we could, we could make that happen. Yeah. I would want to be buried in the, you know, the three. You got to bury me in the three. The original Wrangler, though, not the good wrench. I don't appreciate any reminder that Dale Sr. has left this mortal plane, but suit yourself. If I got to go see him, I might as well drive something. He recognizes as being familiar.

He's just going to piss him off. Is that what you want? Is that how you want your entrance into the afterlife? Yes, I want the first thing that happens to me in the afterlife is for Dale Earnhardt to beat my ass. Yeah, hush and let Dale put him in the damn wall. Welcome to the afterlife, motherfucker. No, fair enough. like how overjoy that would be the definition of divine joy for me if i die and the first thing

i see when i wake up is Dale Earnhardt on my back bumper about to spin me out at 300 miles an hour that'd be awesome you have to continue this until you survive it and then homefield apparel homefield apparel dot com speaking of surviving for all those coffin if you're going to survive a long time and uh and have an expensive coffin you're going to need a lot of money uh on your person by the time you die. So you should go to acorns.com slash fullcast before you die.

I like that you're like, which may in fact be very soon. Die with stacks, acorns.com. Before you die, visit acorns.com slash fullcast. The sooner you do it, the better you will die. By going to that URL,

you'll have a $5 starter boost in your free death pre-death account. And the larger it gets the more time before you die, you get to not work. We need to work on the pitch. No, we don't. But it's there. It's

really there. We've pitched it many ways. Like, sometimes it's softball, sometimes curveball. Like a softball is a baseball pitch? Sure. I went to a football school. I don't know shit about that. But, yeah, Acorns.com slash forecast. You

connected to your bank thing and money happens and then it goes up. and then you stop working at some point. Well, yes, brother. Yeah, I have, I have the full family plan that includes the early for kids option where you can sock a little money away for the children. And I have done this. I will give an update, by the way.

We have a current, right now, the lead that my younger son has on my older son and his account has dwindled by about a dollar. Right now, the younger son is up by $49. So, as with all weeks where they remain relatively static, I'm just going to assume that they're plotting something bigger, scarier, and something that'll make me even angrier than the minor financial fraud. They've already pulled with these two accounts. Acorns.com. Give your 8 and 11-year-old unfettered access to your smartphone. It'll surely go well. Before you die.

before you die rich as hell yes bury me with my acorns marry me with my acorns how you want to die flossing and in a hearse with nuts that's how I want to do it buried in Auburn shirts buried in truck nuts

yeah I wanted to discuss the other news of the day which um I felt like a women want me fish fear me curse. That's what I'm saying. I don't think, I don't think, like, too many, I think we could make a lot of money just going after, like, toxic males who are recently dead, who, uh, or about to die and are like, don't bury me, like, uh, don't bury me like I'm female. Like,

we could, we could provide the next leg of the chain, uh, the supply chain after whole man disposal services. Father, father, father, father, husband, Christian patriot forklift operator funeral co and like you don't you don't there's no hearse you're just your your nude body is driven around by forklift and dumped somewhere yeah that's we could make a lot of cash off this you know provided we're willing to touch a dead body which i'm willing to touch a dead body for like two mill a year i've done way gross or shit for way demer reasons and for way less money yeah i'm in um i wanted i'm recently fascinated by the idea that anyone knows

what the rock is like because the rock is like like when you see him what is the rock's personality what is what is he like big he's big he's big he's genial he's genial he's genial unless it's Kevin Hart because you know he and Kevin got a got a kind of hostile ribbon jokey jokey relationship that's the stick like I don't think you actually know what the rock's like I don't think anybody actually likes Kevin Hart I mean the rock is an actor yeah a thespian if you will but good job on The Rock for getting to this level of fame with nobody really knowing anything about his actual personality. That's kind of a coup. I thought that when I was watching him on the Eli and Peyton Manning cast and he's talking and I'm like, at no point is he not selling anything or telling a story that I have

not heard him tell 300 times. Like everything is off of a script or it is off of a promo. It is never there is never any there's never any seams to it whatsoever it's not like oh the other day i was having a unique experience by myself no it's not like oh how is your weak rock if you ask him how his week goes he goes you know i started in this business with like he and russell he and russell wilson are kind of the same that you just go there's a menu and they keep cycling through the same 20 answers right like answer 17 a well when i met sierra and he'll just i feel like i have i have not like attempted to know how the Rock's

tequila business is going but I can do the whole pitch without like like a George Clooney sold a number of cases and we sold this many more I know like I know all stats about the Rock's fucking tequila brand without trying he's amazing

I regret to inform the court also that we had occasion very recently to sample the George Clooney tequila it's good yeah it's quality which was not the outcome that I expected if you can tell from my tone of voice is entirely drinkable

and you know what if they should sponsor us if the Rock sat there and probably pitched it at me it probably tastes better I'd be like past guy's good yeah he just probably one problem he just made his tequila taste better one problem of most tequila is

it's not the rocks so yeah and that the Rock can't sit there and tell me how good it is while I'm consuming it I was telling George the same thing listen to me brother so he did did say, and this is why I thought this was weird because nobody knows what the Rock actually is like, but a new piece of information, the Rock, according to the Rock, likes to play

video games. That is not what I would think, given the fact that I know that man has to work out at least two and a half hours a day, at least. And then the rest of it is spent being the rock and reading the same 20 answers that over and over again took questions from the media. but he said we're going to bring one of the biggest most badass games to the screen one that I've played for years

this is from an article in Men's Journal with Dwayne the Rock Johnson and the article that by God I love fitness professionals and media flack so much because every single time he does a movie this same article gets written

which is this except this time the headline is how Dwayne Johnson Johnson pushed through the toughest workouts of his career for Black Adam. And my answer is being rich. That's how he managed to push through most of these workouts. Being rich, an amazing supplements. Spencer, can you do the American sniper workout without the liquid supplements?

It is impossible to do the American sniper workout without the liquid supplements. Thank you. Damn it. Sorry, this jukebox only plays one song, but it sure is a good one. Yes. But this time, this time the Rock really did the hardest workouts. not the other eight, nine, ten, twelve times.

You know the one movie that they didn't say that the jungle cruise? It wasn't like, yeah, the jungle cruise I had to do the hardest workouts ever. We should write the Rock's Jungle Cruise workout. Rock's Jungle Crews 40. This would mean we have to what. Have you, okay, we made it like 20 minutes into Jungle Cruise

and we only watched it long enough to confirm something that someone had told me, which is that the Jungle Cruise movie begins with the unironic and unexplained forever playing in its entirety of a Metallica song. And it is very true that that happens,

that I can't tell you anything that happens after that. But now I kind of want to watch it to see what his workout is. Just opens, like, a lot of, opens with a very slow version of Nothing Else Matters. It's, that's it. That's it. There's no, there's no callback as far as we can tell. There's nothing connecting it to the,

opening scene, that's just where they are emotionally. The same 20 answers theory, by the way, in this interview, The Rock has asked, do you have any favorite modes of recovery after a tough workout? Jason Kirk, what do you think the two things he recommends are? Tequila.

Oh, sorry. That is correct. Which tequila? Taramana. It means Earth and the Simone word for spirit. Yes. Because that's our whole thing is Ohana and mana. I can do his whole thing every time he talks about it um the other thing he recommends as his favorite recovery tool

good loving that's right good loving and tequila this is i really appreciate this for a man who continues to produce nothing but daughters more more rock daughters in the world please because they all appear delightful also and sometimes they will draw on his head on instagram do you know what else i have in common with the rock besides all of your daughters this is a question you've had a long history with Microsoft and the Xbox he has this is canon go look it up like the Xbox one reveal

you want to see the most Y2K shit in the world is the Xbox when they broke it out the rock was there in like a fucking suit or something with his 90s elveter PlayStation has been compromised to a permanent end

he really has in the rock by the way at the Xbox reveal he's wearing like a mock turtle neck and like a dark jacket and matrix glasses big steve jobs it does he looks like big steve he looks like big cyber steve jobs steve steve uh and i think he'd be proud of what we're done here to say you've it doesn't matter what you say but how you game steve loved my peanut butter pancakes I just adore, I love that an opening to an actual question in this interview that is factual. You've had a long history with Microsoft and the Xbox, because I'm like, same, brother, same.

We're not so different, you and me, Dwayne the Rock. I, too, have vast experience with the Xbox. Probably more than Dwayne the Rock Johnson, if we're being honest. Yeah, I've been down since, what, Windows 94? I'll let you, boy. Hotmail. Windows NT, let's roll. He does say, though, that he's going to bring one of the biggest, most badass games to the screen.

That led to much speculation about which game The Rock plays. Because as far as I know, if he was going to be somebody saying the same like four or five things over again, that would probably be at the super NES level, where character. just only said four or five things. Well, and also, a college student in, like, 1991 was like his last year in college, right? So, like, if he's saying this is a game that he has played many times, the cutoff's probably somewhere around there. Like, is this Duke Nukem?

Is that what we're talking about here? I hope so. Street Fighter 2? Turrott. No, this is Turrottes. Battletoads. Has there been... The Rock has both battle...

The Rock and Kevin Hart as the Battleto. You know, I think you may... A lot of jet skis. I think you might have stuck the answer. Yeah. The rock is Dr. Mario? Rockter Mario. Because it can't be like Madden the movie.

It can't be that. Bugsy Bobcat. John Madden NFL, the movie? Not I'm much casting now. I mean, there was a To Rock movie. It went straight to video, I believe. What if it's the rock as John Madden? Like, it's a biopic.

Just incredibly. No effort, no, no, no hairpiece. Nothing. Just the rock. Oh my God. Great shape. You guys. Ripped.

What year was he? 91. Are we thinking N64? He might have, you know, like, I mean, I could see him in like his sort of leisurely, unbroken game playing days being from 90s. is the rock about to play banjo kazooey so i'm thinking 95 like he was a rassler by then so i mean on the road he could be zooie was that the bird yeah i think so wasn't like the bear was banjo and the bird was kazoo i didn't i didn't ever play it listeners are screaming at us right

now how dare you he um he's going to be star fox star star rocks yeah how was he going to fit the cockpit that's the magic of video games and wireframes my man i think it's to rock the dinosaur hunter that's that seems like the go because that seems like he can't it like the Jurassic Park franchise does not have room for him and whatever chris that is we've got to make our own space here the um so it could be a game maybe he's played with his kids

like roblox that could be it yeah we all want it to be animal crossing I like Minecraft because how do you start that game like punching trees? I would watch the rock punch trees. Yeah. Also he doesn't need CGI. It's very blocky and angular. It just punches a tree.

Yeah. I mentioned this. I make sure Emily gets credit for this idea. I mentioned this and she said he should do Grand Theft Auto. That would make Van Diesel furious. Oh, it would. Like there is literally, literally, I cannot think of a single thing the Rock could do

to make Vin Diesel matter, then Grand Theft Auto is now mine. I instantly immediately have a car-stealing media property as big as yours, Vin Diesel. That's a very good idea. That would be diabolical. Only if he walks through the entire movie randomly bumping into people like their NPCs

and hearing them go, you want to fight? Watch, buddy. Get out of the way. I have a setup that only works if you're extremely online but if you're extremely online it might be the funniest fucking thing ever

The Rock is playing Tony Hawk in Tony Hawk Pro Skater The Rock Pro Skater Yeah Because you get the most recognizable person on the planet to play the least recognizable person I can't imagine anything like 2001

Me would be more excited about than the Rock Pro Skater You could do a rock bottom on another skater It's awesome The soundtrack is exactly the same fucking mill and collin and no use for a name but except the rock every now and then going The Rock says

for fucking lagwagon and bouncing souls and shit Wait a second Did we speak this into existence by saying Race Wars in the Wave Race Voice? Yes, I'm going to go ahead and say we did Because God damn dude This is I would love the idea of him in a

Skate 3 movie too Right? Where it's just him going down mile-long ramps in CGI and glitching, right? That's, to me, that is video games at its finest. So why not put the Rock in there? So he's a large man flying through the air, because nothing's funnier than a large man

trying to do skinny man things. The Rock is excite bike. That's good. The Rock. That's good. There's a lot of character and plot to work with there. I love, like, Evie was asking me, is the Rock 8? good actor which like it wasn't to me she's seen like almost all his movies so it's more just

like a philosophical question i'm like i think he's a great actor at playing the rock i think that's my assessment right yeah don't ask him to do like accents and shit but as long as he's playing the rock he's awesome i'm not sure what the rock would sound like doing an accent like i can't form that i can't form that in my brain it's pretty bad like in like rassum promos he'd do like elvis voices and like you know like mock act like you know you know national accents and shit and it's like no like picture the rock doing a british accent and it won't summon horrible but charming boy i could i can't you know i can't imagine him doing like a whole lot of drama either like nod like there couldn't be 20 minutes in a rock movie where he doesn't punch somebody

or do something real rockish. For instance, like, have you seen Pain and Gain? I haven't. It's like the greatest movie. I was supposed to be great, right? It's great.

It's an amazing movie. Like Michael Bay directed it. Yeah, look, feel good. Like, Mark Wahlberg is in it. The Rock is in it. And Michael Bay directed it. And it's actually so much better

than has any right to be. I mean, I think I get it. Oh, no, it's a great movie. The whole picture right there. It's a great movie. movie by hand. Like the rock knows this is the thing. Yeah. Like you say no 20 minutes without punching anyone. He probably said that. Like he said one of his one of his things on his script he says a million times is you know the audience knows what they want in the rock movie and I just want to

satisfy them. I just want to give them a the rock movie like he knows he's completely self-aware on all this shit like and I guess that's the genius of it like he will never go five minutes without punching anyone and he will he will say that probably in a movie. well like his cohorts and his like actor cohort right and I don't just mean like in terms of actors who worked at the same time no no no no I mean dudes who are in movies

where they're like and we've got to punch our way out like those kind of guys Jason Statham range Jason Statham actually has range he's hilarious and spy you've seen spy no no no no actual comedic chops and spy we will watch spy and you will find out

so I'm going to take notes so funny funny good actor Okay. Good at playing Jason Statham. No, I'm serious. Jason? No.

Jason Statham is so much better than you think he is. Okay, but so far the Rock is funny, and the Rock is also good at playing his version of himself. So two for two so far. It's different, though. It's different. Spy, like, no, I promise you. Serber, you bought a Serber, break the tie.

Are you buying this? Have you seen Spy? It's not really a tie. Jason and I are both laughing at Spencer uproarious. I have seen Spy. It's fantastic. and Jason Statham is a pretty good actor when given the right role.

That's not what Spence is like The Rock. See? Just like the Rock. What was The Rock like really good or moving in where he wasn't just The Rock? He's funny all the time. That's the point. He's not in movies where he's asked to not be The Rock, dude. These two guys are funny, bald, and they run into stuff.

They're the same guy. No, no, no. I'm telling you. He's way better. Also, I can't remember the name. There is a movie where Jason Statham has to do a straight up dramatic role. like and he's amazing yeah that's crank

that's that's his biopic that's a true story I think Frank is a documentary he's in real time he's in snatch and like lockstock and two smoking barrels right

and was the what's the one that's like the British version of the longest yard but it's soccer the longest pitch yeah it's something like that he's good in a lot of those like early or they who made those movies guy richie or something that's a good guess i think spencer are you possibly um giving jason's day of them bonus credit for like already having an accent thank you thank you does he sound smarter because

he's no no because he doesn't have a smart british accent he has an oi what's it british accent You put that above yourself, right? No, no, not one way. Maybe he sounds like Dirtbag Shakespeare or something. No. When you hear a small child speaking accented English, don't you automatically think,

wow, what a smart child? No, I think. No, not if they're like, oh, I see a prop. I mean, I think when I hear that accent, I think that you think... How much time are you spending in Dickensy in London? A lot.

Like, I think of somebody who, as a British person would look at you and go, you're from Atlanta, that's like 90 minutes outside of New York, right? Like that? Hey, I'm the one who thought that Boston was like 30 minutes away from New York, so I can't. Shaquille O'Dill was the one who thought it took

eight hours to get to, or 10 hours to get to the moon. His reasoning was even better for that, though, because he was like, when I leave the office here, and I can't see Los Angeles because of the curve of the earth, but I can see the moon. So it stands to reason we can get there faster. which is consistent logic if not anything else he gave the address of the studios he's like because i

go out on like 1075 techwood drive like that was like he was gpsing it in his brain like tech would drive moon moon yeah so i'm not going to shack did fine and he doesn't understand geography either so that's obviously it's obviously no real that's no real slam on any anybody to be like, oh, you think Atlanta's an hour and a half outside of New York. No, I'm telling you, Jason Stadam's got range. No, dude. More than The Rock. No, dude.

You haven't seen Spy and you haven't seen, I will think of, I've got one funny movie. Which one is Spy? Spy is the one with Melissa McCarthy. Oh, I saw that in theaters. It was great. Yeah. He's great. It's a good movie.

I don't think he's great is the thing that you say about that. He kicks and shoots and he looks annoyed at Melissa McCarthy. He plays a great idiot Okay Yeah I'm correct here No listeners are going to back me up I have no problem with the rock

I mean with Statham I'm just saying It's not more talented than the rock No I think he is Can Statham sing He's a better dancer I know that let me hit you with Moana Huh Where Statham out here singing

I bet I can I don't want to hear that I mean I don't want to hear it But I bet I can find it in Guy Ritchie movies and he's of a certain age Jason Statham has cut a rap track he's got a mix tape somewhere I mean

Jason Statham was a backup dancer in rave videos and like a Speedo with gold body paint Okay that's not happening The Rock's done speedos and body paint Yes he has That's his first job He was great at it

He was unreal This explains so much This episode of the podcast Is dedicated to Dan Devine who earlier today suggested that The Rock do a John Cassavetti's influenced Tecmo Bowl movie. It's Tecmo Bo. The Rock is Tecmo Bo. Yes. Jason Statham has never done a better character than 2003 Hollywood Heel, The Rock, the Wrestler.

Period. I don't think Lawrence Olivier did a better character than that. Thank you. Yeah. Friends call him Larry. I'm getting you to Larry. I'd still call him Larry. The Rock would call him Larry.

Larry? Lairbear. It doesn't matter what you say. The Rock was in Reno 9-1-1. The Rock has an extremely funny short role in Reno 911 that is true. He is great. Statham case looking perilous right now. I'm telling you.

Not sturdy to begin with. Man's got better acting chops than the Rock. No. They were in the same franchise. They were in the same franchise. one of them is being begged to return by the creator and the other no one who watches the movies likes the other was the subject of a furious fan backlash yeah the other one has made the movies rewrite parts of three movies one of them is being begged to return and the other

has ruined two movies at least that's just how powerful he is justice for con not Jason State Jason Statham did not actually kill a man in Tokyo I think Prove it I can't Let's let the character settle this

How does Han feel about this? Hmm Let's look at the final shot of Fast 9 How does the wrong How does how does how does How does Han feel about Jason Statham killing or not killing him Hmm

Jason Statham did not kill a man in Tokyo Sure tried to Fuck him and then was invited to the barbecue I'll be mad about this forever also the rock never made crank too high voltage too busy making

fast five the greatest action film of the century to busy making skyscraper which is at least as dumb boy skyscraper skyscrapers skank is dumb

but come on no no crank will always be on the sublime dumb scale skyscraper is dumb in the sense that you see the rock holding on rock has to display acting range in the skyscraper movie because he has to play a isn't he playing like a military amputee in there and he's got a lot of like you know emotional issues surrounding the loss of his limb and the loss of his livelihood when does jason statham have to do anything that far and spy which is a good movie and you're making me denigrated because you're trying to act like Jason Statham can act. No, I would, like, he can blow the rock off the screen.

Why didn't it happen when they were on the same screen? Nobody, because of haters like y'all. We don't trust this man. Because of the mercy of Jason Statham. You are some form and function bullshit here because this is like, you're like looking at, you're looking at a car and you're like, yeah, it makes really great popcorn. And we're like, but that's, that's not the point. that's not like the car might have a delicious popcorn maker in it that's not why we're interested in the car

i'm telling you when jason statham picks up his actor when somebody finds him really cool when he's 10 years older and he gets like a plum role and wins his oscar for supporting actor all of you'll come back to me all of you'll come back to me oh 10 years 10 yeah i can make it 10 okay i'm telling you the rock is charzard and statham is charmander it's charmelian sorry sorry sorry sorry The Charmander, that would be, uh, that's Van Diesel. The Diesel. Yeah. Sorry, pal.

Based on height, if nothing else. The Charmander's acts. Charmander likes family because he needs to. Because he needs backup. That's what the, does. Charzard doesn't. Charza said ass, Ash, fuck you. That's canon.

That's it. I do like, though, that I actually think maybe Vin Diesel, I, I sort of occasionally get glimpses of him as a person right like when Vin Diesel a lot you know because he's so weird right like he's just uncontrollably weird that he wore the stilts that he wore for grute right at the guardians of the galaxy premiere vins weird he's just outwardly an insane person we love many things about vent yeah thank you let's do we want to lead with act outwardly weird or do we want to lead with walked Paul Walker's daughter down the aisle at her wedding.

I was going to say, no, he's a real one. He's 100% real. We love many, many things about all three of these guys. Jason said he's not better than the Rock. Including the Rock's brand Tremada Tequila, brother. Which sold for more than George Clooney's

did. I haven't tried the Rock Tequila yet. Probably because he's a better actor than George Clooney. Steven versus Clooney. Nothing to say to this. About to try it. Replace George Clooney with the rock

in one of his roles. Good night and good luck. Oh, brother, where art thou? The world's biggest set of car hearts, right? Like the suspenders. And singing in a fake beard. Now I want this.

I'm going to go with the fantastic Mr. Fox. Fantastic Mr. Rock. Just like Just like little, imagine them having to have to sculpt his little clay muscles. Just barking peptox and shit. Come on, Wes Anderson, you piece of shit. Make a good movie.

Ocean's 11 where he's sliding in like, that's Danny Ocean. He's very subtle. And the rocks like nine feet wide moving into the shot. Aye. I like gravity where it's just like, holy shit, it's the rock in space. It's giving me speeches.

and shit. It's a moon rock. The movie's over, though, at that point, because the rock just takes her home, right? They just fly straight down to Earth. He would never let Sandy go through all that shit. He just jumps. Yeah, I know. He just gets a piece of space junk to use his heat shielding and just sort of surfs down, right?

Yeah, he would never have been so careless as to die in the first place. No, hell no. Also, do you know what they're going to... They give the rock the script for gravity, and he says, no, the audience won't accept this. Okay. Different space movie, even more vast improvement, Solaris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Jesus Christ, Stephen.

Oh, do you remember in gravity, by the way, there's a total, like, product placement opportunity, because remember... Like a Pepsi can? No, he comes in and he starts pouring booze for her, right? He's like, hey, he's got a flask. You'd be like, yeah, this will get us back to Earth. It's Teramana.

It's a really good tequila made by a very handsome man on Earth. What does Terra mean, but Earth? That's right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Let's go Batman and Robin With just even bigger nipples Oh But we've got the Rock and Arnold on the set

Right? So like I'm bigger Imagine the one-liners Tried donkeys Frees cold Rock's like I would never raise tiny anything I raise the most swole donkeys Known to Man

The Rock's roid donkeys Giant donkeys I only breed mega donkeys How okay what's the biggest donkey you can have server will you look up biggest donkey biggest donkey sound off in the comments what you think the biggest donkey is

like poundage or breed or I'm thinking more like height yeah like how tall of a donkey is it possible the biggest donkey the biggest donkey ever recorded was a donkey named Romulus who comes from a breed of donkey called the

American Mammoth Jackstock. Go on. Romulus, an American mammoth jackstock donkey is a 1,300 pound 68 inch tall donkey. I think that's an elephant.

That's a moose. Wait, that donkey's my height? Oh, I don't like this anymore. That sounds intimidating. Tiny donkey, adorable. Mammoth jackstock. donkey. Terrify. If it was like, if it was like 10 feet tall or something, then it, it kind of, it re-resumes the cartoonishness of scale. But at my exact height, that's a little terrifying. Eye to eye with the badonka donkey. Um, I would like to sub in the rock for George Clooney and burn after reading and not tell him it's supposed to be funny.

Tell him his job is like is hunting down Brad Pitt or something. movies over in eight minutes found him he's in a closet smiling he actually could have done pretty well in hail caesar i think he actually would have been very funny yeah he see yeah yeah yeah that would be great like yeah because he i'm sure he would he would give you some speech about like old actors he liked and like he'd suddenly just rattle off like you know he'd have a hollywood speech i love old hollywood of course you do i i uh i think that would be fine I think he would also probably be, if you'll remember, he's in Spy Kids, but I don't think that role is particularly great for him there.

Spy Kids isn't really about the grown-ups. Yeah. Kids love The Rock, so he'd be fine in Spike Kids. Kids do love The Rock. God damn it. They love that, man. This is the world's smallest donkey, by the way. Except Spencer. I love The Rock.

I just think Jason Stadam's a better actor. He's got more dramatic potential. also you know you guys seem pretty heated you might need to chill out with the taste of taramana tequila I went the rock in the thin red line yes standing around staring at nature walk it off walk it off not staring at nature as people whisper about God massive a massive target that's soaking up bullets it's where I'm always sort of skeptical of the rock in a movie in a wartime situation like he's he's real big

just like eight minutes of the rock looking at leaves somebody mutters about souls what does nature say it doesn't matter what you say that would be the rock yelling shut up to all the whispering voices

and a Terrence Malik montage would be sublime shut up what about the rock on up the air just trying to fold himself into a delta seat week after week can't even fit a briefcase under the seat the smallest donkey in the world is knee high uh both knee high and romulus by the way both still in the league uh knee high is a registered miniature mediterranean donkey and lives at best friends farm in i'm going to bring it full circle are you ready are you ready where where does

the world's smallest donkey live england gainesville florida enough. You know, the Florida Gators have not won a national title. I have heard that. I have heard that. I have heard tell. Do you all think John Krasinski would have been in his game to take on his, the character on the other side in leatherheads if it was the Rock instead of George Clooney? I think they'd get along great.

John Krasinski is one of those guys. He was like, nobody's going to be more likable than me. John Krasinski and the Rock have worked. worked out together in their spare time so yeah they do get along yeah he's been to the iron paradise i'm very i'm very jealous of john krasinski in that respect because he's been to oh was it for the cia propaganda thing yes yes but they've they've worked out together since so he's gotten to actually see the iron paradise in person the tent filled with iron that follows the rock everywhere if the rock had replaced george cluny in the perfect storm would the boat have sunk or could he have kept it afloat I think the boat would have been arrested.

I think that, yeah, I think he would have punched the boat. He would punch the storm, right? Just, bam. Actually, he is a hurricane, Miami hurricane. So. It would be a peer-to-peer experience for him. Rocked you like a. So I think what would have happened is the wave would have been in trouble.

Yeah, I speak hurricane. I know them. I understand how they would be thinking work. And then he sings. Then he sings as Maui and calms the sea. does Jason Statham can't sing. I have a rowdy nephew moment that's actually a rowdy niece moment

that I remember which was at the height of the 24 era one of my nieces standing like waist deep in the ocean on the rowdy side of Florida as the waves pummeled her in the beach and every time a wave came up to smack her in the face she would shake her head like a wet dog

and just scream, tell me who you work for. She was like five we probably shouldn't let her watch that much 24 disagree sounds like she came out strong