Shutdown Fullcast - Week 11, Revie-SHOUTING ABOUT BUCKEYES

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

- Spencer has a new song for you! Won't that be a treat! - You can guess Georgia coach P.J. Fleck's catch phrase if you think about it - Baylor's anti-science crusade is breaking CFB analytics - Adjectives that must be used when referencing 2019 Illinois - Jason concludes 2019 Arkansas is the 1,014th best SEC team ever - Transitive losses to App State: everyone has one - Holly WANTS to talk about Tennessee? - Discussions of teams like Rutgers and Alabama Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. Podcast. What's that business? Business podcast interrupting the show intro. Let's talk business on the... No! What? Not talking business.

What's happening? Talking about the bucks. Tampa Bay? No. The buck guys. Milwaukee? Ohio State, you fools, not talking enough about the Buckeyes. Is there supposed to be music here?

You know, like, I figured if we were going to actually pay proper tribute to Ohio State, we would need to make them feel comfortable because I know everything else happened in college football this weekend. And as the Internet's only college football podcast, we have to cover it all. And we have to cover it from the top, the biggest, medias piece of alligator. a meat in this particular gombo being LSU finally getting over the hump against Alabama and handing Nick Saban yet another loss in the mounting pile of high point losses that Alabama has suffered getting that fire saving hashtag pumping on Twitter it really wasn't people doing that it was just it was just Tennessee fans mostly using the hashtag and like attempting

to seed the internet with that which which they succeeded we'll get we'll get to that those are operatives it was great Tennessee fans became like Russian internet trolls for about three hours last night and it was sublime This is why I don't watch these games They were high off beating Kentucky man They just decided to roll with it

Okay we'll come back to that because I genuinely missed all of this last night But Spencer you have Ohio State music right This is Ohio State music Okay now I hear Now I hear The books

now it's gone no it's back I hear you yeah interestingly I can hear it with the bucks wait so Jason

you couldn't hear that when he was playing it I hear Spencer hollering and then I hear it sounds sort of like there's a game boy in the next room oh this is great this is like some polar express shit

yeah now we're cooking the bucks no no don't play it more we meet Maryland the The lyrics and the passion of the delivery. It reminds me of the Willie Taggart bus video.

Let Coach T ride this bus. Yeah. Go Bulls. I need three years. Future notice to other employers. I need three years. Not one and a half. That's not enough.

Let Coach T park this bus. Yeah, it's going to take three years. Results may vary. You'll end up hiring Mike Leach. oh god please no anyway we didn't talk enough about the bucks so as I was alerted on Twitter by the most

demure and humble fan base in all of college football Ohio State who by the way they're in the walls and they will find any possible crack to get through and discuss their beloved buck eyes because they uh yeah

they beat Maryland that Maryland I like that The joke we've had for years about Ohio State fans that they rerout every conversation to themselves. I love how reliable they are about it because they're not doing it on purpose at this point. They just really like doing it. No, and you know. A Cuppie Cup really summed it up beautifully for me while all this was going on.

I miss the Knowles. I do, man. I really do. Like, at least Florida State, you know, I'd get, you know, like a good, consistent, you know, tone on them. With Ohio State, it's always so cheated and emotional, you know, which I don't know. Like, I know everyone says Ohio State's invincible right now, but. Look at the schedule. You played Indiana.

Nine win, Indiana. Ranked Indiana. That's right. And Nebraska. Not ranked Nebraska. I resent, okay, I resent this joke not because the song is still playing, but because now we're actually talking about Ohio State. Why the fuck are you giving them what they want at the top of the show? The Spartans! We beat the Spartans!

We could talk about Ohio's... How about we talk about... Let's talk about Ohio's best college football player. What if we did that? Joe Burrow? Yeah. Oh, that'd be Joe Burrow, yeah. That would be Joe Burrow. Yeah. So then we can talk about a pivot to a more exciting football team playing more exciting game. I agree. Let's talk about him. If you put that fucking song on again, I'm going to stab you in the ear.

Yeah! Go bull! With a knife! A big knife! Cutting through! A defense like my name is Chase Young! I'm not scared! Oh, I fixed you. All right. Yeah, there. There. Just threw the phone across the room. Please note Chase Young plays running back now. He does. Running from the NCAA, that's right.

That would be pretty good if it's like, no, you suspended the defensive end. I'm the other one. This episode of the shutdown fullcast is sponsored by Otterbox for when you absolutely, positively have to throw Spencer's phone across the goddamn room. Just know that Ohio State's so generous that they gave the world Joe Burrow and then let him go to LSU. Yeah. And I mean, hey, that that, that,

That turned out well for everybody, didn't it? We all enjoyed Saturday. We all enjoyed seeing what Joe and the boys did, did the Big Bad Invincible Alabama. Saturday was so good that it overshadowed that orange demigorgon showing up in Tuscaloosa. It truly did. That's like, there were so many good things about this game,

right down to LSU deciding to attempt to ice the game by having a freshman cornerback. in a one-on-one versus an Alabama receiver at the end of the game and thus giving up a, what, a 90-yard bomb with a minute left?

LSU's like, oh, we got this in the bag. Nope. One leg to a tug of myeloa heaving the ball downfield. Do I believe Devonte Smith at that point? Yeah, yeah.

Stingley had a very long day A very long day against Devante Smith But you know what? He's a freshman That was going to happen Like they got three receivers Guess what? Somebody's going to draw the poison pill, right? Like somebody's got the short straw That's you

Stingley I think they were like Yeah, just put the freshman on him We don't want to look bad Put the kid on him. He can redeem himself Yeah, we looked back A year or two ago at the Famous 96 LSU Bama game And there was a point in that game

where Uncle Gary says, these teams, they combine, they probably have 10 future NFL defensive backs. And I think Bill recounted and it was actually 12. Gary was not a big enough homer for the SEC.

You look at this game, you can probably say the same thing about the wide receivers. I don't know, like these dbs, you know, these dbs are good. I don't know what they are supposed to do here, particularly, you know, in a situation like that.

No, they were supposed to lose. That's what they were supposed to do. I don't know about playing press man with the lead in Bryant Denny But you know what Go off Dave Miranda Go off man

If you're hot You know Let it roll And they did And it went 85 yards The other way And kept the game closer Than it really should have been

But hey Ryan's Got the ball back Ryan's not here tonight And we're all sad about that Who is going to do Coach O' voice in his stead? I think that's Jason.

Jason feels like the default coach-o. All right. Here. I get rolling a little bit, Coach-o. I had a cold up until like three days ago. Now I wish I still had one because that would be very helpful. This was, by the way, Ed Ogeron doing something that less Miles refused to do for, what, eight years, nine years, change the offense that wouldn't beat Alabama? you got you were outwitted by master's strategian at ogeron i know we keep saying hey you guys are

underselling at ogeron perhaps perhaps i don't i don't really think any of us are underselling him i think it is fair to point out though that when you're talking about you know strategists and offensive geniuses the first name that appears in your mind in the SEC is not at Osirond. I think that's exactly who you call when you want to out scheme a famed football mind like Nick Sabin's, who's clearly lost a step. The funniest people to beat Nick Saban, it's still Hugh Freeze twice. Oh, yeah. That's it.

Like the great joy of the former women's basketball coach at a Christian academy in Memphis, right? I'm sorry, what's funny about him being a former women's basketball coach besides everything? Besides everything, that it's, that it's removed by so many degrees from the thing that he actually did to beat Nick Sabin twice, right? Like, oh, Nick Saban, you got to pay that guy $9 million here. His mind's like, his mind's just like a giant cray supercomputer. And he frees his life, throw a ball downfield. Hope some stuff happens. Get excited.

Get Chad Kelly. Get a transfer from Clemson, who wants, you know, threatened to come back to the club with an AK-47. Twice. Twice. I like that, I like a couple things that came out of this game besides the score. I like that where for a few years we were on the, well, you got to have a quarterback with absolutely no rhythm to him, like Johnny Mansell, if you want to beat Bama. Like Stephen Garcia, if you want to beat Bama.

And now it's like, well, you got to have a coach with absolutely no rhythm and no pattern if you want to beat Bama and a bunch of generational talents stacked at as many positions as you can. That is also helpful. That is not stopping certain other schools in Alabama's division who may be dissatisfied with their coaches from wondering, hey, who can we pick off the, how can we imitate what LSU has done at coaching? Hold that thought. We're going to come back to it in a couple weeks also just hit the running back like that's the other thing like the great the great mystery the great idea the great mystery was why don't you throw the ball to your running back too like Clyde Clyde Edward Elair catching the ball on that little Texas route that little angle route that everyone

calls it NCAA to do great damage like LSU did exactly what you would do in video game football right angle I don't know running back's open they did that all night they got a crucial late first down just, I don't know, give the ball to Clyde, see, see what happens. You know who else used to do that? Spur here. Just throwing a running backs underneath when nothing else was open. It's crazy how that beats good defenses. Weird.

I love the idea of LSU winning the national title and the copycat kicking, like, you know, the copycat crazy kicking it. Because how the fuck do you copy coach O? Does that mean you go get a big, by you defensive line strength coach and let him grumble at people? Does that mean you hire your university and state's most representative human alive? Because that's gone poorly for, say, Ole Miss. You know, like, there could be a lot of lessons to take. Do you go get a former failed head coach who had a great run as an interim and suddenly became like, you know, very good at connecting with people after being like the worst person alive at it?

Like, what lesson do you take from the incredible job at Ogeron has done at LSU? You know what I mean? there's a lot to think about i guess i think there is one like one serious thing that that a lot of coaches won't do and that's this that you you really should change before you uh you die and you die out right you should evolve that sounds crazy but that's something that coaches don't do because they're so relying on what has worked for them in the past and the guy who in this case is ed ogeron's real mentor is pete carroll and when pique carroll came to u sc he changed the way he did everything because he was tired of losing. That's it.

Do you think Ed Ogeron really wants to run like four wide? Right? No, no. Ed Ogeron is a defensive coach. He's a defensive line coach. He would be much happier lining up with, you know, two, two, three tighters. They would much rather run what they were running before.

It's way more in keeping with everything that had been his philosophy prior to this. But guess what Pete Carroll probably, you know, serves as a good example of. Change the way you do. everything. Oh, John, by the way, started to do this when he was at USC. He wasn't really a players coach, right? He was like, oh, wild boys at Ole Miss. It was real hard.

Right. You're right. And then when he went to USC, it was like, I'm going to make a mistake. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they were doing like cookies after practice and all that type of stuff. No, they got them Popeyes. They got them Popeyes after one, right? I got everybody Popeyes.

Yeah, you got them all the snacks they could want. It's just, I feel like there are a lot of lessons you could take from how they're this is gone, that wouldn't really be the lesson. I guess the other is also, it's nice to have $4 million to spend on, you know, coordinators. That's a good lesson to take. I'm just extremely excited, no matter in which direction they run, to see as many administrations as possible run with this notion to the furthest possible

extent. Because, you know, scooping up Sabin assistance back when you were trying to copy Saven worked out so well from most of the schools that tried that. Also, wow, Steve Sarkisian in a big game for getting the run until it was too late. Who knew? Hey, speaking of watching coaches, we love to watch, make a whole bunch of weird decisions in late, big games. Oh, go on. Row the boat!

Roll the boat! That'd be undefeated Minnesota. In your face. Just splashing, splashing happily on the lake of success. Beating Penn State and yet another game because all Minnesota does is play, you know, exciting, tight games. That's it. It doesn't matter who they're playing, by the way. That's nine Minnesota to you, sir. Correct. A team that yesterday finally showed that if you want to be successful, you have to play Georgia Southern early on, right?

You have to play South Dakota State. You have to play the giant killers so that you can ensure that you are not a giant to be killed. That's the key, y'all. They, you know, play San Diego State. The San Diego State Jack Aztex. We're doing great. The South Dakota State Jack Rabbits took them to a 28-21 nail biter. They almost lost to Georgia Southern, who must be a great team because they beat Appalachian State. And Appalachian State just beat South Carolina this weekend.

So, and South Carolina beat Georgia. I brought it all the way around, didn't I? James Franklin has one of the most memeable sideline reaction faces in the game, but I got to say in yet another triumph for this program over the Big Ten, Eli Drinkwitz has some of the best on-camera facial expressions when the game is not going his way that I've ever seen in my life. Eli Drinkwitz has a face that... He's like that pain scale at the doctor.

He makes all of them at once, though. His face immediately defaults to... do what like that's it like immediately like mouth looks like a mime yeah do what huh what y'all say he kind of does this like podcasting is a visual medium so you can't really see what i'm working with here but he kind of does that you know how the bronosaurus is in Jurassic Park kind of like swerve their next their necks kind of curiously yeah it's almost like he has a go go gadget neck but he can just kind of go and he does it kind of from side to side like a large flightless bird anyway great addition I was very fond of watching him last night

even before they whipped up on South Carolina in Columbia I'm just happy that we got to the point where I've managed to figure out how we could get a transitive win by Minnesota over Georgia and thus get them in the playoff over Georgia that's done Georgians don't row their boats They pay people to do that It mess up It would callous my hands

Scarlet I think the Georgia version Is tow the boat If PJ Fleck Takes the Georgia job That's how he's going to adapt it Toe the boat Toe the boat

See? It works I got an F950 now What you guys do They make those don't they I'm PJ Fleck And I'm Southern Oh my God PJ Fleck doing truck commercials

I need this Lord If you want to know by the way Why Minnesota is good It's because they do things like this They really like I think they had like a two to one Run pass ratio And they just kept sort of slamming away

But every time they passed the ball It was to somebody who was designed To be extremely open based on something They obviously saw Against Penn State It was just like that guy And that guy And that guy

Open again. Wild how y'all didn't fix that It's not like Tanner Morgan was just out there dropping, like, you know, genius bomb straight off his dome. No, like Rashad Bateman was open all day long. He had 203 yards receiving, and Penn State could do nothing to stop it. I do think it is somewhat of a disservice to point this out because it doesn't really, it doesn't give the proper amount of shine to Minnesota and what they've done this year. But watching this, it was really hard not to think, you know, about Ohio State as we do. and how hard Ohio State is going to play the song play the song I can't my phone got thrown across the room

somewhere over there but it's very hard and see it I'm not going to get it it's very hard to not think about how hard the blacks are going to go ahead and absolutely destroy this Penn State team are they also going to destroy this Minnesota team probably yeah probably like a bob Evan's bathroom. Yeah. But if you look and you go, I don't know, man. I'm like what team is going to give them the most studied, detailed working, right, on the way to a 20-point loss at the hands of Ohio State? Probably Minnesota.

I don't see a team that's really playing as well or as disciplined. Like they're just going to stick to the plan no matter what happens in the game. And the score is going to be lower than you want it to be Ohio State, which, you know, you probably want it to be like 70 to 10, but sorry, you're not playing Maryland. Yeah, I have no idea what to make of Minnesota at all. They're just like they're a very together team. Like if you watch them, they don't, they don't make mistakes. They don't, you know, like it's all.

They don't make mistakes and they capitalize on mistakes made by others. I mean, they're, they're very buttoned up. They're very organized. Maybe at this point in this season. I guess most of my Minnesota watching has, been this game and then the first three games they made mistakes in those games they made many mistakes in those games but they're still going to stay at the same gear it's not like it's not like they take big wild swings right like the team that takes big wild swings is like Penn

State the team that actually takes big wild swings is Alabama like Tua didn't really complete a whole lot of passes like I think he was 21 for 40 but all but he had 400 years yards like they just took nothing but haymakers because that's the only thing that Alabama was able to hit consistently that you know Steve Sarkisian forgetting he had a running back who couldn't be stopped yeah go figure former number one running back recruit those are easy to lose track of from time to time tell this guy crap give him the ball so uh Minnesota the uh I think this week they'll be a little bit easier to rank last week It was like, I don't know, put them anywhere between 13 and 20.

It doesn't. Sure. But this week, sure, put them, you know, I don't know, eight. Fine. I was looking at the, I cite this a lot, the Massey computer composite. It's not the Massey ratings that ran the VCS. It is a collection of basically every computer rating. I was looking at the standard deviations, like which teams do the computers most disagree

with each other on? The most disagreed-upon team in the current top 10 is Minnesota, where the computers rank them everywhere between 2 and 20. Quite a span. That sort of segues into Baylor, which is an even more confusing team. And I was trying to figure out if this is the most confusing team in a recent college football memory. and I think it might be using that same metric that standard deviations metric

Baylor Baylor's ranked in the computers between 3 and 30 sure yeah in SRS a stat I said a lot there a 20th against the 78th best schedule

the previous undefeated Power 5 teams with disparities this big 2015 Iowa 2014 Florida State 2006 Rutgers and that's it for the entire in this entire millennium those teams all their post seasons

went great, all of them. They didn't. But like, what the fuck do you do with Baylor? The other thing I was looking at here is over the last 21 years, the undefeated power conference teams who've ranked outside the top 10 in the computers at this point in the season,

you have 2012 Ohio State, that weird bull band team, 2019 Baylor, and that's it. so like five one score wins two multi overtime wins all against nobody particularly awesome but they're undefeated decent at defense two or three really good wins i don't know what the fuck you do with this team no i think you do with them what people have done since time in memorial in the polls ninth sure what does that mean if i put them at nine nothing it means oh look you're top 10 just barely just barely also that way we don't have to consider you for a

playoff slot we might if they beat oklahoma then what then what oh if you beat oklahoma well now you've obviously done something that indicates real quality yeah so i can move you up to hmm six it could just almost beat oklahoma it's not it's not that hard apparently you you disrespect the name of brock purdy on this podcast one more time one more I mean, shout out to Iowa State for going for two, by the way, for dying as champions. Like a boss. For living as Vikings going down like heroes. Very, very, very, very bored Vikings far away from water.

What are we going to do with this boat? I guess we're stuck here. So, yeah, Baylor, whatever happens against Oklahoma, hopefully it's decisive, I guess. Because I don't know. I'm tired of trying to think about what you do at this team. They would be, SP Plus would have the S-amper-Sand-P-plus would have them as an underdog to four-loss Washington and three-loss UCF, a non-power team.

This is an undefeated Big 12 team. And like, I really don't know if we've ever seen anything like this. Yeah, that's it. If you did not watch the end of that game, the OT, it was 9-9 going into overtime. so that's how you know their equality team. Again, Baylor, thanks for giving us no data. Like, hey, tune in.

You got some time. Watch Baylor. They don't believe in science. Haven't you seen those fools and texts trying to rewrite our textbooks? That explains a lot. Yeah. Yeah, if not by sight, then by faith. Yeah, that explains how you get to 9-9.

Right. Also explains the ship lap graze. Yeah. All them sliding doors. So let the spirit in. All them barn doors. It was 9-9 going into overtime. If you did not see it, just a series of wild,

mostly random past completions, keeping this game alive. The whole time you could just see Gary Patterson go out. Just make a bowl. Let's get to a bowl. Let me back to the Cheez-It Bowl. Be back to the Cheez-It. God damn it.

They got cheese-it pizza now. I can eat it and sweat. Then I can order another one, and I can use it as a napkin. Give me the big wet pizza. Someone actually in Banner Society Slack. Holly, I shouted out Banner Society first, by the way, on this episode. Hey, look at that. You did. Look at that.

We're chasing Bud. We're all just chasing Bud. I'm the best promoter here currently. I agree. In our Slack on Saturday, Joka Strength did break down a cheese-it pizza review for the group. Oh, what? Yeah, well, there's a cheese at pizza now. Oh, no. We have straighted so far from the eyes of the doctor.

It's Pizza Hut. Not that that's a surprise, but... No, no, it's really not. I don't think I'll be trying. Taco Bell of pizza. Yeah. It's not, yeah, Maria Taylor telling me it's not college football without the Hut is kind of like saying, you know, hey, it's not college football without Notre Dame football. It's not, and that's just one of many things wrong with college football. I think, I mean, I think the Hut, that's saying we're like, it's not college football

without Weber State. Yeah. Or just some sort of, yeah, or just some sort of presence that you go, well, they're definitely around. Like the Notre Dame of pizza. That's like Godfather's pizza or something like that. Or like, oh, you know what it is? It's Chicago pizza is the Notre Dame of pizza. Oh.

You know? Just like, oh, God, this is a lot. This is so, my God, it's so heavy. This is so fucking touristy. Everyone in Chicago is like, we don't even like it. This is the Giordano's at the airport, only it's not good. I like the Giordranos at the airport shout out Only Lou Holtz could make it good because you have to stack the bullshit real high

In order to make it something palatable Also you know what You watch Rudy you listen to Newt Rockney stories That shit is way too cheesy huh Correct there you go Who's the Totinos of college football It's Arkansas Arkansas

Oh, no, no, no, do you eat Totinos late at night? They've got to be like Boise State. Yeah, they're going to be Wazoo. We like Boisee. Are they Wazoo? No. That's a better choice. San Diego State.

Wazoo is a better choice because you know what? Sometimes Totinos burns the whole house down. San Diego State is like frozen Tatinos. It's like, you bite it and it's like, ow. Don't watch San Diego State. Oh, my God. I'm going to lose. Let's not talk about what happened to them.

Man, Rocky Logg is the best. What's this game going to be? 2117. No. Who's going to, yeah. Two to one. Two to one. What's it going to be?

It's going to be a win. You're going to hate me. You're going to hate everything you just watch, but we're going to win. Like, the Mountain West brand, you know, that applies to most of these teams. It does not apply to San Diego State. No. neither mountainous yeah

maybe that's the problem there's not enough mountains it's like super northwestern playing in the fun league they are they are like hey should we move northwestern to the PAC 12

and put or to the Big Ten sorry y'all know what I mean should these two teams switch conferences yes absolutely thank you San Diego State is a fine academic institution

San Diego State basically plays like Bo Schembeckler Ball, right? So, yeah, Michigan 2. We'll just call them that. Michigan 2, San Diego State. They did get Brady Hoke from there. That's true. And then they sent them back there. See, we already have a pipeline.

We have an exchange program. They're equally good universities. Oh, wait, wait, wait, didn't. Oh, my. gosh it wasn't jim harryball the coach at ucstd uh he was at he was at regular san diego oh but yeah still in the area in the area we're so close yeah we're really honest also he coached the chargers yeah you can't prove he didn't everyone has coached the chargers including mike locksley including our sponsors put an app break right there yeah i'm thinking ahead that's good

Speaking of set. Ryan, put the ad right here. Right here. Ryan, you're in charge, right? Ryan, this is all your fault. Technically. I'm going to need some help for y'all to walk me through the entire step-by-step process of figuring out how Mike Loxley tried to sabotage Ohio State football because I think I know all of the steps. Well, if you read the top whatever.

I did. Which was half you. Which you wrote half of. I did. And it was half me. and I read it, but I just want to make sure by way of enforcing credulity here that I have it completely right.

Okay. So Alex Kirshner has accused. Yeah, Alex Kirchner has personally accused Mike Loxley of, no, that's not true. That's not true. No, no. You can contact Alex at 38 Godfrey. So, yeah, Chase Young,

went to a Maryland high school. that if Mike Loxley had been around, he would have been, you know, strongly pursuing this young man, but Loxley was a Bama at the time. It happened to be days before Ohio State played Maryland that the kind of weird NCAA thing came out. Like, how would anyone know about this if they hadn't been connected to Chase Young at some point in the past? happened to be during the game a Maryland commit from Young's old high school decommitted from Maryland

so a lot of people were saying like oh obviously Maryland snitched and it was even being talked about on the Fox broadcast and all that which like it's a convenient storyline and it's very entertaining but like that would be the dumbest fucking possible thing they could ever do not just during the game but you know recruiting fallout would be insane

as Alex responsibly noted in the newsletter that really makes me think it's true are you saying mike locksley has had bad ideas before uh yeah this is all going really great remember when they won two games and scored 70 plus points on howard and everyone thought oh man he's turned it around yeah well they turned it around all right that's true it's true down is a direction yep yeah I like the theory more if you find a way to say Maryland is basically doing this as a favor of Michigan. Maryland is like, all right, we'll go ahead and we'll eat the 78 point loss, but this draws Michigan like two points closer at the end of the year. Because like we saw in the Big Ten East, like Rutgers was sort of a junior Ohio state for a little bit there.

Maryland and Michigan had a little bit of a partnership there. Jim Harbaugh likes to recruit New Jersey a lot. You know, you can find enough threads to sort of line up a conspiracy where Maryland is like doing this as a favor to Michigan if you really like conspiracy theories. Which everyone does. Buddy, if I wanted it a conspiracy theory, I would talk about

how close Arkansas is to being the worst as he's deemed ever. Well. If only somebody, had figured out whether this was true or not this is what happens when we have show notes so I happen to have looked into this

go on the reason would be obviously Arkansas is fired Chad Morris which you can not listen to in PPN because they nope they missed it they were in too big of a hurry to get their episode

out so they did talk about it though they did talk about it we're under the assumption he'd be fired so they were just a little too hasty unlike us, we are patient, reserved, waiting for all the information to arrive. So out of 1,015 seasons played by individual SEC teams, since time began, only 25 of them have worse SRS ratings than 2019 Arkansas. That would make Arkansas the 26th worst SEC team of all time.

However, we can whittle down that list. make Arkansas look even worse here. It won't be hard. They did most of the work for us. Let's see how many of these. Eight of these teams are either Suwanis or Tulane. And they're all back in like the 1930s and whatever. Like seven of these teams were heck Clark's Swani teams. These were not cut out to be SEC institutions into the even into the pre-modern era. We're not going to pick on Swanee and Tulane. Tulane is doing fine now. No, and like, Swanee had players who were missing games due to like pluracy and trench foot, right? Yeah, I missed.

Swanee's heyday was 1899. We're not going to pick on Swanee. We are also not going to pick on Vandy. So there go another seven of the 26 worst teams in SEC history. Because Fandi is here, like, so teams like Arkansas can cheat off their paper, right? Like, they're not actually here to compete. that's not fair either so so we've cut this list uh mostly in half Arkansas is now one of the oh I don't know like 13 worst teams in SEC history uh we're going to take three more teams off

the list they're disqualified because they actually won multiple FBS equivalent games unlike 2019 Arkansas uh who one of their wins is over an FCS Portland state that suffered far worse losses to Idaho state Montana and UC Davis Arkansas you do not credit it you get credit for being almost as good as Idaho State. So off the list are Rich Brooks's 2005, Kentucky, Carl Voils is 1947 Auburn and Jackie Sherrill's 2003 Mississippi State. Woo! It's a spicy blend. Next up, 1948 Auburn misses the cut

because unlike 2019 Arkansas, 1948 Auburn didn't lose to any non-power teams and had a better win percentage than 2019 Arkansas. 1948, Auburn. You are not the worst SEC team of all time. Congratulations. Now we're down to one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Arkansas is one of the seven worst SEC teams of all time. Three more are disqualified because they only lost to one non-power team each, unlike 2019 Arkansas. These are in chronological order, the 1949 Mississippi State under the tutelage of Coach Slick Morton, who lost to a prehistoric Cincinnati.

Natty, 1982, under Jerry Claiborne, lost to Virginia Tech before that was a thing. In 1994, Kentucky under Bill Curry, lost to ULM. Common thing for SEC teams. Hi, welcome back to the shutdown forecast. This brief intermission was brought to you by

the power went out at one of our studios tonight. And I assume there was some sort of a violent scramble for resources over there? Yeah, I had ore, but Spencer had sheep. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So we decided to collaborate. Yes, and all crime was legal for 45 seconds.

45 sweet seconds. How much crime could you do in 45 seconds, like from where you're sitting right now? Like Nintendo Super Toy Run style? Yeah. From where I'm sitting. From where I'm sitting. Well, I kill you. You could kill me.

So that's a big one. murder right there yeah uh i i mean i think if i hustled i could make it to a neighbor's house and like enter their house and not i mean there wouldn't be time to do anything but that but that is a crime yeah it's not a big ticket crime if the purge were 30 seconds long and happened at random and like most of the time you're like oh i was asleep god what a treat that would be god that'd be so good if you were just like well man, I didn't really think I'd enjoy Fort Knox, but I'm glad I'm here today. It's crazy. The purge is now on 30 seconds. Man, that's a lot of work-a-day security guards and whatnot who have just been waiting to take it out on somebody.

Yeah, yeah. Imagine if the 30-second purge happens when you're like in gridlock traffic. Yeah. That would be exciting. Yeah. Or if you're in the bathroom. Like, oh, God, come on. I'm going to fuck up this bathroom now. I'm going to fling my feces. I'm going to steal this toilet that's, I've ruined. Or if you're at the mall and you're just like, well, fuck you, Sephora. Hey. Let's say that Spencer mimed going in and like not taking their stuff, but rearranging it.

Like just knocking everything over. That's all I'd do. I think if I had the chance, like the law I'd most want to break is just, you know, public mayhem. Nudity would be easy. Anyone could pull that off. Oh, arson. Duh. Arson would be good.

You could commit arson from anywhere. Can you? Yeah, I mean, just sitting right here. Hypothetically. Could just drop a match, baby. So you have matches on yourself? No, but they're close. They're right over there.

Okay. They always got to have a fire source near blind case. We are kitchen adjacent in our current recording setup, and the kitchen does have matches they're in. A lot of knives. I think if I were in traffic, though, I'm just swerving back and forth, hitting everything I can. Pong, Pong, Pong, Pong, Pong, Pong.

I'm finally doing the thing where I tried to ramp off of a car. carrier right yes oh yeah yeah the thing everyone always works to do it's their own fault for driving with those ramps down right i uh in high school i knew some punk rock dudes who played bumper van on the freeway they had two vans and they would bang them into each other it's both it's both easier to handle and much more violent than you would expect at the same time to do that with cars i'm not saying i know how but yeah yeah so anyway before before tonight Knight's Purge set in, we were talking about Jason's proof that Arkansas is close to being the worst SEC team of all time. So we had just discussed 1994, Kentucky, which lost to ULM and no other

non-power teams, thereby making Bill Curry's program nowhere near shameful enough to compare to the wreckage left by Chad Morris. Next up on the list of our 26th. awful SEC teams who are not as bad as 2019 Arkansas. There is 1955, Alabama, went, oh, and 10 under Jennings Whitworth and lost to prehistoric Miami, but 1955 Alabama is out because this was pre-integration and football was not canon yet. So even your worst doesn't count. Your best certainly doesn't count, Bama.

You have like four titles, sorry. 1999's winless South Carolina under Lou Holtz. Even that doesn't count because that team faced a really hard schedule. Unlike 2019 Arkansas, the 99 game Cox went 0 and 11 and lost to ECU, but still they faced a pretty tough schedule. We are down to two out of 1,015 teams who have ever played SEC football. Two, one of them is 2019 Arkansas, on course, let's say, for 1 in 10 against FBS teams. Yes, I'm assuming they lose to LSU.

The other is 1988 Mississippi State under Rocky Felker. One of the most fun names to say I've ever encountered in college football. It sounds kind of dirty. He already sounds like a curse or profanity. Rocky Felker!

This is a program legend. He's one of their most beloved quarterbacks and players ever, and like, he constantly goes away, gets another job, and comes back. I think he is still on staff as like the player personnel director. This team went

one in ten against a not difficult schedule would be by SRS, a two-point underdog to 2019 Arkansas lost to Memphis, Southern Miss, and Tulane. And you could still argue Arkansas is worse

because either Memphis or Southern Miss, I didn't make a note, it was a 10-win team. Not that shameful. Meanwhile, Arkansas, same one in ten, has lost to San Jose State in Western Kentucky. Western Kentucky is fine. San Jose State is bad. So Arkansas, are you the worst SEC team of all time?

The answer is, possibly. Probably? Yes. Yes, it's you. I think it's a call you can make, man. Just go ahead. If you're, I mean, probably. Yeah, just do it, man.

Just go ahead. I see no problem with going ahead and saying that this is the worst team because if you look at their schedule there's a moment where you can see them give up Is it early in the first half? That is a very clear moment where you can see the team completely lose the will to live.

It didn't happen after San Jose State. It really didn't. You know, they lose to San Jose State and that's bad. but I think everyone at that point said maybe maybe that's just an aberration right maybe that's a one-time thing maybe that's just I don't know that's just a big pothole right

there's potholes on the way to smooth roads ahead that's that's just one particular I don't think anyone said all this no one said this but maybe they did because they go on to put up a really good fight against Texas A&M if you'll remember this This game came down to, like, the final possession of the game. They played really well in a 3127 loss. And I think I remember thinking and watching, hey, you know, they haven't given up.

Still going. Still, still, I don't know, what Chad Morris motivational phrase do you want? He's got them all. Like, he's pretty much second only to PJ Fleck in terms of mantras, right? They kept chopping that wood, right? They kept punching that cow. they kept you know they kept headbutton that building all you got to do is headbutt that building it'll go down kept mining that asteroid

keep rocking that falking that falking that animal cracker yeah they they managed to do that then they went and they lost 2420 to kentucky and then that's what broke their will because the next the next four games are all wild Whoppers, right? They lose a close game to Kentucky 2420, and that's what breaks their soul, because from that point on, 41 point lost to Auburn, 41 point loss to Alabama, a 30 point lost to Mississippi State, a team that had not scored over 30 since their opener, and then the backbreaking loss to WKU at home, at home. So I think there's an even darker way to look at this. Back in week one when they were barely beating a deeply mediocre

FCS team, I remember Bud came into our Slack room and said like, hey, did Arkansas get worse somehow? We're all kind of like, shit, I guess maybe they did. And then the A&M game, I just look at that as like, that is universe designed cruelty at Arkansas's expense, because that game is that every year. Arkansas would rather lose that game by. 41, then lose it in the exact same way to A&M every year. So, like, that as the aberration is the cruelest possible aberration. Yeah, I, maybe that's even worse. Yeah.

By the way, fun, fun question. Who wants this job? Like, anybody? No, thank you. Mike Leach, maybe. No, no, he ain't doing that. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what like I feel like he could do better and I don't even feel like that's crazy to say I mean we kind of know he could do better do you does he want to get fired again that's a good that's a good question as you go do I do I really want to like put the goods on the line for this because because he could just stay at Pullman and be okay for the minute right sure yeah I I mean that

There's like the usual list of local native sons that gets trot it out. Gus is staying put. Darren McFadden. Unless he's fired or extended. Therein. Sure. I think he's ready. Sure.

You'd be scared to fire him. They should just bring Houston nut back. I mean, the arguments against it are less convincing by the year. Like when they're throwing around, hey, we should bring back. Petrino we should we should fucking hire Tuberville at that point it's like shit why don't you go

with the last coach who like left on a high note yeah why don't you go to the last coach the last coach to take you to the SEC championship which he did twice by the way don't ask what happened there it's fine they got there and that's really all that matters

the 2000s were weird okay yeah they were they were very profoundly weird the early 2000s SEC was horrendous by this a lot of, there's a lot of, there's a lot of flat bill hats and Houston Nut SEC Championship game appearances back there and you don't want to look. You really don't want to look. Like somebody threw out Brian Harson, who's been at Arkansas State, I don't know if that's

helpful, you know. I don't think it is. Or maybe you're going to get Arkansas State's current coach. But you don't like to acknowledge that they exist. So how are you going to do that we thought we'd get relative unknown blake anderson that's what they should say like we're going to get this total novice blake anderson who's never coached anywhere before never been a head coach before just deny it completely hiring former head coaches has gone poorly for us so otherwise you just do the what you just do the you just do the exchange where you go from auburn to Arkansas and put gus malzahn home right because i don't know he allegedly loves that job?

It's time that's, yeah, it's timing. I love that the timing of this, the last time this was a thing was Auburn has a chance to knock Bama and Georgia out of the playoff. And Gus has to do that. Or, you know, like all that is right back.

All that is right back in front of us. Auburn can knock Bama and George. Georgia out of the playoff, you know, I don't know. We just don't have the same shit every two years. I know, Gus ends up playing the same video game over and over again, right? Like, hey, new Gus Melzon Experience Simulator 2000, right? What's the checklist? Well, you gotta beat Bama in Georgia.

Well, that's just like every other game. It's like they're making the same, it's like they're making the same game over and over again. It's an EA, it's an EA sports-ass franchise is what I'm saying about Auburn. okay new downloadables get a carry-on johnson with some wild glitches though like every other edition did we just explain the kicks did we just explain the kick six i think we did yeah i think it's of an ea sports it's a w w b2k 20 type game where like every other edition you've seen the glitches from that game right which one the wwe the two k the oh they're good No, they're insane, right?

They're amazing. Like, I had no intention of buying this game until I saw how fucked up it is. They're just completely broken. Anyway, that's Auburn. Yeah, Auburn. Broken video game-ass franchise. Do we...

Did we want to talk a little bit about Illinois? Fear the beard! Speaking of a native son of the state of Alabama. Lovie Smith Who has a gorgeous Like muscle shoals type Alabama Please refer to it as

Resplendent A resplendent Because everything about him Right down to the beard Is resplendent Magisterial Was Illinois heading for a painful loss Yeah yeah that's not new

What's new is that they didn't Ie they managed to come back By scoring 27 points in the fourth quarter Against Michigan State a team that I don't know how would you describe them offensively limited that's nice

nice way to put it is that yeah that's a polite way to put it they did not have any method of responding and they lost to Illinois who I don't know let me count on my fingers here

bowl eligible bowl eligible let's go ahead let's go ahead punch that red box bowl ticket if you want an Extremely good collection, really, of joyful noises about Illinois football's weekend. Go download the hurry-up episode of PAPN that dropped this Sunday, November 10th. Yeah, a bannersociety.com production, by the way.

Very good, buddy. Proud of you. Yeah, one of the fine podcasts we offer on the Internet's greatest collection of college football content, community, and commentary. and combat combat and kombucha no speaking of

speaking of speaking of things you thought went bad that came back all the way around and are good again Illinois football yeah no I'm

I'm floored that that happened because I thought that was I thought that was dead in the water I really didn't think they were going to be able to do anything there I thought Lovey was finished Lovey was counting on that and you know what?

I was about to say he forgives you, but you know what? He doesn't because you're a son of a bitch. Shouts out to their social team for showing the team and the coaches bowling after the game saying, hey, got to get a few frames in. Nice. Yeah, which also, you know,

super Midwestern way to celebrate, right? Hey, we want a football. Let's go bowl! The kids will love it. Kids will love it. It's a great idea. Let's take them the whole again. Leave the wife at home.

See, you leave the wife at home, you go to the, you go get a couple of frames, right? You gotta tell you what, you know, you down a couple of strikes, down a couple of pictures, feel pretty good about life. Got to take care of yourself is what I'm saying. Fellas were taking a big trip to Nashville. I never been that far south before. Maybe I should get a Searsucker suit. Is Nashville tropical?

Why is that the best question to ask? Is it L. Tropic Cowell? That's basically the equator, right, Jan? I think I'll just leave my shirts at home. Probably don't even need to pack shirts if we're going that far as how. Are we doing it for cash money in the 9-9? That's just me basically getting short and going, I don't know, man. Illinois's good.

Life can't get any weirder than that. and the next week it will somehow because this is the point where the season really starts to take off that was by the way the overarching lesson of this was I thought you know hey it's been a pretty good season it's been pretty nice so far I'm good yesterday I was like oh that was great that was the best solid slice of like

good nonsensical college football fun I'm going to get for a while you said it cat yeah we had the two big headliner games they were both pretty satisfied in radically different ways and then you had all the way throughout the mid card and undercard

every single game was of interest in one way or another and like this is a week where it's like you know narrowing down the top whatever or figuring out what we're going to talk about here it's like shit we could talk about everything so if we didn't tell you your team is good then just know that we think your team is good

unless your team is Arkansas this is by far the most emotionally satisfying weekend we've had this season I speaking of emotionally satisfying what Tennessee one that's not emotionally satisfying what are you talking about there's a there's a note in here that has not appeared

we survived I it says you wanted to talk about Tennessee football I wanted to talk about something very very specific related to Tennessee football well please do I'm all ears because I saw that and thought who put Who put this obvious lie in here? This obvious line here. It's that Holly wants to talk about the Tennessee Kentucky game.

First of all, they won. My father has taken to emailing me after every Tennessee win, of which there are now several for some reason, and says, one more win to Shreveport. And this is a lie. He has never set foot in Shreveport. He will never go to Shreveport. I will never set foot into report again, if I can help it. But it's an extremely funny little coping mechanism we've developed. So I said this on Twitter on Saturday night.

I said, as a born Hilljack, I said this is a pure compliment. Kentucky after dark in November is utterly hellish. I don't know how they do it. There's nothing scary about that place in the daytime. I just want to give you guys a couple responses I got from L.L. Slaw Dog on Twitter, had this exact same experience in Hazard. I was born and raised in Southern West Virginia, exact same geography and people,

inexplicably terrified after the sun went down. From Jim Cornett's racket club on Twitter, my younger brother, a former Marine, had to do some work in Kentucky a few years ago. He flat out refused to leave his hotel after the sun went down. And from Twitter user, Pumpkin Pie is Just Squash Pie with Nutmeg. I travel to work in ER in the Ozark Mountains.

After work, I go straight to my hotel and don't make any eye contact. The Tennessee-Kentucky game is always at the end of the season. It's for some reason, always at night when it's in Lexington. And there's just something about Lexington in November that makes you feel like you're trapped in a lovecraft story. It's just there's something extraordinarily unsettling about it. and I don't like to watch the game. I don't like to talk about it. However, I did hear that Jarrett Garantano came in for the second half to close out,

to score all the points and then close out the game. Not all the points, but to score multiple points and close out the game. And it occurred to me that in my studious ignoring of Tennessee football, I neglected to bring up an extremely important fact, which is that his father, James Garantano, was a star-wide receiver at Rutgers from 1989 to 1992. He set the school record for career receptions. Seven.

And is currently... Hush! Hush! And is currently in the Rutgers Hall of Fame. Athletics Hall of Fame. a real thing that exists. This concludes my Tennessee football content, except, Spencer, do we want to talk about, do we want to talk about Bowdens? Yeah, that. I, okay, I need to set this out first of all, because this could come off as gendered and silly.

I know that the converted wide receiver playing quarterback for Kentucky is A, named Lynn Bowden. B, is not a Bowden that we know of. and see what we're about to do is really stupid. But every time I think and see Lynn Bowden's name pass, I just think that there is some black sheep of the family, some like rogue member, rogue offspring of the Bowdoin family, who decided that though being a woman and being a member of a family that excels in coaching

and not on the field has decided to break the mold, has decided to not only play men's football as a woman, but it's decided to buck the family tradition, put on a helmet, and become an actual star on the field. And no, not for Florida State. No, not even for Sanford, another Bowden-connected family institution. No, she's decided to do it for the Kentucky Wildcats.

Because Mark Stoops is the only one who sees her dream and understands. This kind of led me to this weird thing now where you've said this so many times, And now every time I see Mark Stoops on the screen, I think about him being like, hey, hey, Lynn, you know, up here in Ohio, we're pretty Ohio adjacent, you know, up here in Lexington. And that makes us forward thinkers about a lot of things. And here I am talking about the Buckeyes again. But it has made me see Mark Stoops on screen and imagine him as like this extremely emotionally in touch dude. Yeah. Who's like, I see you. I see you in the way that they don't.

and I know that you can lead this team. We got enough Ohio in this, that we were first in flight, and we're going to be first in the fight to get you on the field, Lynn. Anyway, maybe if they'd actually had a lost daughter sion of the Bowden family quarterbacking them, they might have beaten Tennessee, but they didn't. Did you know? Lynn Bowden, by the way, is awesome,

just joining in like the Benny Snell, the Benny Snell straight line of like really good, under-respected, under-reported Kentucky running backs. Let's get that clear. I would like to remind you all again that I picked Kentucky to win the East this year. Do not at me. It was a big pick, man. I'm thinking the same thing that I thought when Iowa State went for two. I'm like, yeah, go big.

Just get it over with early. Either it's going to hit or it won't, man. Hey, we talked about Tennessee football. I do have a prediction that I think, did we all not just call Clay Helton finishing eight and four at USC making things as awkward as possible? I'm pretty sure we called them going 0 and 6 to start the season. Okay, yeah, but once that was done. Yeah, I think y'all had them going 0 and 12.

I definitely had 0 and 6. And I couldn't really, like, I couldn't really sit there and depend and bet and know that Keaton Slovis was actually going to, I don't know, do the, like, in the list of weird things that's happened this year, their third string quarterback coming in and bombing on Utah, right, for three quarters straight. that's a weird thing considering how good Utah's been yeah USC just working its way down the quarterback depth chart and each one getting better and better and it's not good it was pretty weird that doesn't say a lot of good things about you it's a sign of poor planning I guess like I don't know you uh that's not how that's not how shelves are typically arranged the good stuff on the bottom where babies can get to it no but yeah I think

Is Kroger their QB coach, right? If you've ever been to a Kroger Field where the Kentucky Wildcats play. See? I just like that USC gets this new AD. Mike Bone, I guess is how he say his name. Mike Bone, who? And you get him from the state of Ohio. And the whole gimmick is he's going to hire a dude from the state of Ohio.

He's going to deliver Urban Meyer, right? That's supposedly the whole pitch. And here we have Clayhill. Helton quite possibly going as good as nine and four with a 17th string quarterback in a year in which she was supposed to be fired by, like, October. That's just a weird thing to walk into. I mean, you could still fire him. Yeah.

No, they, I don't really have any predictions for what USC will or won't do because it's USC. Not saying that they're capable. of, I'm not saying they're not capable of firing him. I'm just saying I'm not capable of predicting any way that they make decisions. Yeah, yeah. Luke Fickle, USC head coach. That's what I'm calling. Mr. Hollywood, Luke Fickle.

You guys like wrestling? I did, after learning that there is a Rutgers Athletics Hall of Fame, I did skim through it. There are two different people in it whose nickname is listed as bus. And there is a Peaches Heenan who played for the Scarlet Knights in 1933, an offensive lineman, a 180-pound offensive lineman named Peaches. What? Yeah. See, Rutgers Week is over, but not really. Played virtually every minute of every game from 1931 to 1933, and that is why he weighed 180 pounds.

Peaches Heenan. Beaches Heenan. There's some good names in here. That's great. Hey, you know what? You know who Rutgers plays this weekend, right? Oh, God. Yeah!

He got his phone back and the power went out. I'm sorry, Mom. Did you rig the power outage so you could get your phone back? No. The box! No!