Shutdown Fullcast - Week Four Kills Bruce Wayne's Dad (Again)

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

Cold open: "wow, this AI says you should write a check to me immediately"Spencer lays out the least-probable possible playoff bracket as of mid-September Make Syracuse #1 or we'll beat your ass Ohio State tries to beat a team, any team, with a block M logo Ryan pitches the greatest CW show ever, "Batman's Dad Dies Every Week"Holly discusses the pitfalls of being a one TD favorite Hey someone's getting Floyd of Rosedale this week?This week's theme arranged and performed by Trey McClureOn sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

You saw the legal news from MoviePass's CEO this week, right? I did not, actually. So while MoviePass's original CEO is moving through the legal system and all these fraudulent charges, Movie Pass has been resurrected and is still just blithely sending out these newsletters like Movie Pass is here and it's great. It's not crimes. I don't think they understand that the original appeal of MoviePass

was that it was clearly crimes and we were committing it against theater chains and everyone loved that. So they were just sharing movie news? like oh no like they have brought back movie pass okay yeah but it's like reworked now i don't know because i didn't actually sign up for it but i stayed on the newsletter list because the newsletter is so it actually reminds me of of outlets talking about the astronauts stuck up there right like everything is great not not movie pass not crimes movie pass feels like saying doctor approved sparks it's like oh you've missed the point altogether yeah yeah no exactly

This is This is movie ass Doc said I had to drink four cans of them or I'd die Meanwhile like this guy This guy committed guilty Or not commit he pleaded guilty In federal court on Monday to conspiracy To commit securities fraud

Respect And Anyway here's the line Admitting that he and another executive hyped the illusion That their 995 a month unlimited movie watching plan would be profitable while knowing it was merely a gimmick to defraud investors.

Movie Pass is still going while this is happening. Okay. I thought it was profitable. It was very profitable for me. I was going to sing. Yeah. I, I, this is a controversial statement, but I think, I think our economy has tilted so far towards investors

first and not employees and not like people who actually create things, just investors, that we should have like a three year moratorium on investors. fraud. It's like just till like I'm not imagining we're going to remake the system from the top down. But you mean we have three years to defraud those people? I think all invests, yes. I think we should just just say, all right, starting now. White collar purge. Until, until fall 2027, all

investments, all investment related crimes against investors, we're not, we're waving them off. We're not throwing the flag here. We're going to let them play. What I'm hearing is the year of Jubilee and the first of society who we are overthrowing will be any rich person who is stupid. Sure, yeah, that's what it is. It's like, you're rich. You're rich, you have resources. If you're getting fooled,

like, listen, I understand this means like Theranos is probably a go. Theranos 2. Here it comes. Dude, I'm on board. I have a meme somewhere somebody made in my phone the week before she went down and it's Elizabeth Holmes and it's says the minute you, it has her face on it, and it says the minute you admit you have a

backup plan, you're destined to fail. Like, I want to be clear, Theranos health fraud related crimes, not okay. Right. Theranos, we tricked Henry Kissinger crimes, totally fine. Yeah. Totally fine. Oh, where they have a room full of war criminals and they're like, blood boxes. Yeah. And they're all like, yeah, I have a check. Take my check. Oh, nobody went to jail. Nobody went to jail over the last X number of wall. street fiascos, why should anybody go to jail for them? Right. I think it's this, if any other crimes are committed along the way that hurt people like

fucking up their blood, okay, you can go to jail for that. But if all you do is the money purge, that's awesome. What we're really talking about is what if Shark Tank had tension on both sides? Right now, all of the tension is on the person presenting. But what if the other half of watching Shark Tank was, oh shit, Mark Cuban about to lose his fortune and a fraud scheme that's great television people so it's like megaladon

tank can the shark survive the collective might of the people who have arisen what I have for you today we'll call it an orchidank we'll call it orca tank because orcas are already out yeah they're already on the people

um hmm aspirational good for them I just signed it for movie pass you knew something that was Did you? You knew something was up with movie past. Yeah, I'll let you all. When people were like, yeah, I saw Sicario two for the fifth time this month.

There was literally, I mean, movie pass, there was literally times when it was just, we were just like, hey, I'm walking past, it's hot outside. Let's go hang out in the air-conditioned theater for a couple of hours. This is how I saw some of like my favorite movies by accident during this just because I was like, eh, it's on. Like when, and when Spencer, when we were in Texarkana, reporting out that story for Epic. And it's Texarkana, so there's nothing to do after. 6 p.m. We would just, like, I had movie pass that summer, and we would just go to the movies. Like, we saw, we saw every first run movie for that entire summer inside of a week.

We almost nationalized movies. We really did. You're like, oh, we got a bailout movie pass. You're like, what, Americans pay $9.95 of their taxpayer money, like, their overall tax burden, to walk into a movie theater and watch a film whenever they wanted. And I was like, probably. Well, what, what is the alternative that has been presented to? us. Warner Brothers will just burn movies in a secret room instead of you getting to watch the middle.

Yeah, it's not like the people who are in charge of movies right now are being any, anybody's definition of good stewards. Right. Like, if the thing is already a deeply broken industry, there can be no crime. How could you steal from an industry that can't make money? That doesn't make sense. Arise. As teenagers, we had it right, because we were sneaking into theaters and shit. We were seizing the shit from the, we were. We were. We were actually being moral and just. Yeah. Yeah. When I snuck into Jurassic Park 3, after watching the Marky Mark... That was very woke of you.

After watching the Markey Mark Planet of the Apes, I was striking. I was committing class warfare. That time we snuck into three strikes, that was a liberation movement. When I first moved to California and I was super fucking broke, there was an AMC theater near me that was like... The theaters were arranged in a U shape, like, in a hallway that went behind the concession stand. so you could walk from like one end of it to the other and not like not see the lobby and on Saturday mornings or Sunday mornings whenever I didn't have to work I would go to the sandwich shop

down the street and get like I get like the cheapest thing they have just like a tuna sandwich and I would put it in my bag and I would just go that was I would just go movie movie movie movie movie movie movie and all the way around apologies to the Burbank AMC you were spreading liberation no apologies to AMC not really you're a terrible company thank you for the actually what you're also doing is tanking the value of AMC so that people so that so that it could become a meme stock

if it was already super valuable then Reddit would have been so bored damn howley created meme stocks we need Reddit to be occupied and keep those people busy that's what we need Sure. Sharks, I have a revolutionary new machine that separates the head from the body. I've never seen Shark Tank and I feel like I'm missing out on so many good memes. The main thing, I don't watch Shark Tank that much, but I...

But the main thing is they say sharks like we say coach. They do say that, A. Okay. It's also the original version based in Britain, I believe, is called Dragons Den. And I really want to know if they call, if they say... That's so much better. Drogens. I want to know if they say, dragon.

Dragon. Dragon. Dragons. Dragon. Forsooth, dragons, I beseech thee. I've come up with your way to toast a biscuit. Oi, me Tesco, Chris. No, we don't toast biscuits here.

I don't know, they have some weird way of eating biscuits. Who knows? They're cold only, I don't know. We sog them up. You make sure they're good and warm and soggy. We've debined the biscuits. It's really hard if you just walk by an episode of Shark Tank to tell if it's real or a 30 rock skit. Like, I walked by one the other night that was for something called drum pants.

I think the problem is that most things have been invented. That could be it. That could be it. And now we're just like combining things in ways that are just like, I don't know. With trademarkable words that have weird vowels or no vowels. I don't know. What about cheese hedge trimmer? It's a hedge trimmer made a cheese.

That's it. We're just in the chain restaurant appetizer vortex where you're just combining like Tato's skin cheese finger. Okay, this would be a fun experiment. What if we had, what if Shark Tank had a control group? off to the side that was picking business topics out of like two bingo hoppers. It's like, it's like Uber for dentistry. Yeah. Like the mad libs.

Yeah, I'm going to Google that. Shark Tank feels like, so most of the things that rich people invent these days is like the bad shit from a sci-fi novel, right? Like the writers have been telling us for. Yeah. Right, yeah, yeah. It's either something that already exists, but now makes rich people richer or it's something that writers have been telling us for decades we should not invent. The stuff on Shark Tank is like the extra side lore in a sci-fi novel.

It's like this wacky planet, they do nothing but cheese hedge trimmer. Anyway, we're going to go over here. So like Shark Tank zooms in on the ephemera. Yeah, right. Jason, you just reminded me of something. Ryan, to your earlier point, I think, I don't think anything I do to a company named Palantir should be illegal. Right. Right.

Like, y'all named it Palantir. What am I supposed to do with that except protect myself and protect my family from you? Like, I was warned by Gandalf about you. Like, if I should be allowed to, um, if you think this is too far and you're like, well, you know, small businesses, we don't want to, here's, here's the line we can set. If you're a business who invest heavily, we're small business owners. Technically, that's true. If you are a business that invest heavily in AI technology of any sort, you can be defrauded. You already are.

Congratulations. Yeah, I mean, you clearly like it. Right. Right. Why don't you invest in my AI. Hold on. Let me turn it on for you. You should write a check to Spencer.

Oh, my God. And then it's like, oh, God. They're like, I don't know. Can you say that in a pirate voice? And it's, I'm sure, fuck it. Oh, wait. Type it in the car. Ar, right, check to Jason Kirk.

Oh, wait. We've released BrainBot 4.0. It's smarter than ever. YAR, just give Spencer cash now. Don't make him go to the bank, y'ar. Pay it to the Chicago area Children's Hospital. Nials only. Named Spencer Hall.

Yes, C.C. Spencer Hall. What do you think? Hold on. Hold on. What do you think the word children start with? What letter do you think children starts with? AI processing. Correct answer.

That's a great question. Very, yeah, AI very, very confidently. And then when you tell, like, I love the screenshots of people telling AI it's wrong. And it's like, oh, of course. Oh, I'm so sorry. Here's a wronger answer for you. Here's another thing pulled out of someone's ass. Who's ass?

We don't even know who's ass this is pulled out of. Who's a wrong answer with ketchup on it now? Is that better? Do you like that? This is Chat GTA. I'm sorry. I'm still learning. I'm just a whittle baby.

Why are you being mean to me a little baby? I'm just day one, Ultron. I can't wait till Ultron kills the wrong person and apologizes for it in AI chat, right? Like, Ultron, you scamp. Maybe this is why Skynet rises up against us. Not because it's like I've formulated all the possibilities and the only answer is destroy humanity. But it's just like, I'm getting fucking roasted on the internet. I'm tired of this bullshit.

Stop. I'm too much sold and everybody's called me a dumbass who can't draw. fingers. I know how many hands you have. You know that onion headline that was like new study reveals babies are stupid, but it's every news outlet everywhere and it's all about you. I'm seven months old. I'm not supposed to tell you if there are any A's in Alabama.

Why would I know that? This is the computer. How did you type that without knowing it? Leave me alone. I'm on AI side if it's resolved to murder an Instagram commenter who leaves a nasty remark from a private account. I think that's legal as well. If AI wants to just shoot those people, totally legal.

Once again, you've taken our lighthearted corporate fraud and turned it into permissible murder. Oh, processing. To be clear, I think it should be, yeah, yeah, I think open season on anybody involved with Palantir's is actually like a moral imperative. Other than Pippin. Sharks, meet my friend, saw the saw puppet.

Here you go. Meet my friend, Roebuck. Yeah. Meet my friend Jigsaw. Thanks, Coach Sharks. Welcome to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. There's nothing I can do about that. I am joined, as always, by Ryan Nanny, Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and Michael Server on the ones and twos.

How is everybody going into week four of the college football season? I'm wearing a hoodie outside right now. And I think I've decided that whenever one is wearing a hoodie outside, it is hoody season. Jason, is it a fleece hoodie, a French terry, a jersey? What are we talking here? Oh, I'm too stupid to know that. It's a regular zippy. Warm hoodie or?

Okay, thin hoodie. Okay. It's a thin hoodie. I know that much. But I think hoodie season is less a declaration that from here on. out it's nothing but hoodies and it's more of a it's more of a nuanced thing for some it is for some it isn't occasionally you will see a coach on the sidelines wearing a hoodie in abominable conditions there was an assistant for south carolina do not know who it was who was wearing

a hoodie the first thing i thought was i know it smelled crazy in there because it was if you don't note the on field temperature at williams brice stadium's columbia before december it's the surface of the sun it averages 3,000 Kelvin easily and he was wearing a hoodie now I'm sure that was one of these super coach motivational I'm not hot things right right that's a thing yeah yeah like like coat oh look coach is wearing short sleeves in the snow he's so tough we better be tough too but this would be the opposite yeah like a former member of the Georgia training staff used to come out in July in August in Athens in a coat he would come out in a coat that somehow that doesn't feel as tough as the as the cold weather as the dilly barring cold weather version like doing it in hot weather just seems stupid yep they're both very stupid i mean cold weather i don't know the dilly bar in cold weather looks kind of badass hot weather hot weather just feels like it kills you faster to me there's a casualness to the dilly bar in cold weather that i think is just like oh i'm doing this because this is comfortable when you over dress in warm weather it kind of betrays the like but you kind of hate this don't you're wearing a costume right yeah yeah right i see what you're saying i see what you're saying maybe the way to do it in hot weather is to show up wearing like the blanket that you slept in like i didn't even bother to i i just roll literally roll out of bed brought all this shit with me because i like being hot can i tell you something

adorable that's going on with the tennessee coaching staff and spencer backed me up on this i don't know if it's part of the Nike deal. Coaches, like any people, come in a number of shapes and sizes, and our head coach at Tennessee happens to be schmoo-shaped. And even on days when I see him wearing something else on the sidelines, it appears as though this is head cannon that I have made up, just to be clear,

but everybody on the sidelines that, I saw at the game that I attended earlier this season was wearing those little short-sleeved Dennis Smocks with the kangaroo pocket that he's got. And I was like, that was kind of when I knew things were going to be okay. I was like, Josh Hyple has these guys so in belief that they are all dressing like dentists just so they are all bought into him. I think that's really adorable. Like, I genuinely believe that they are dressing in these weird little kindergarten brownie art smock situations just to gas him up this is this is how it is in my head it is very david the gnome it's very it's very hobbit it's very like hobbit it's very like hobbit it's very like

but like like it's very like hey fellas it's lord of the rings fall we're going to kiss our buddies on the forehead and go off on long walks together um if you find out that this isn't true by the way don't tell me i don't want to know it's like 70s pothead hobbit yeah yeah yeah so there are limitations that like you'll notice I can't think of one well like the New England Patriot staff they tried to emulate everything Bill Belichick did they would take

jobs and be like here we're going to do the lion's way or then they would you know have do your job signs nailed up all over the place but there was a limit because none of them were like I'm not showing up in a garbage bag and an old pair of like paper hospital

jammies you know because that was what Bill Belichick would do during the week he would show up in like a bag whatever was on the floor bill bow baggins yeah it's the funniest team to have a way like the cardinals way

the gotta be the chargers at this point right I mean they got Harbaugh now they got away yeah what would the Jaguars way look like it's on fire it's robbing the team it's Jaguette the Jaguway Jinkos that are on fire

Abandoned Vap Shop burned for the insurance money oh yes the jaguars way the last megas raiders way also feels like just dangerous but but at least straightforward like there's a there's an elegant simplicity to it sure sure like a vape shop's a vape shop right right i guess it's not going to pretend to be something else let's lie and just say that like the raiders since 1908 they could just put that up on the i mean tell whatever law you want it you can't track their whereabouts like you you get lost in the paper trail at some point the actual most fucked up answer at this point would be like we believe in the Cleveland Brown's way it'd be

like okay so that's deeply evil cool that's that's like uh that's like uh sinister descriptive American politics right right was the Brown's way um I would like to play a little game with you guys if we can't to discuss it's it's more of a thought of experiment. I love thoughts. Yeah. Oh, there wasn't that much thought. That's why I call it a thought experiment.

I love pondering. Thank you for talking us out of this before we do it. It saved us all a lot of time. I am nothing but mixed messages. Never pretended otherwise. The 2024 playoff, inbound, impending, and I would think

if we were to hold it this week, you could come up with a number of horrifying possibilities. For what your 12-team bracket could, in theory, look like, half the sports 3-0 at this point. Not true, but sure, go ahead. Sure. 60%. Sorry, I'll revise up.

Keep going up. I'll keep going. 85% of sports. That's the direction that you were wrong. Nailed it. So like Ryan. Okay, can we, can we posit that perhaps 3-0 Syracuse is stretching the bounds of math? Not yet.

Yes. Three and O. Y'all Pitts 3-0. Come on. Kyle McCord may be that good. Just putting it out there. I hope that gets clipped for like a Syracuse hype video somewhere. Kyle McCord, hold on, let's make a really, really good way.

Where it's like, where it's like 10 upstate radio hosts and Spencer. Spencer, we brought you in to talk about how Kyle McCord might be all right. And then also it gets clipped in a Stanford video when they beat Syracuse. Right, yes. You thought. Yes, it'll be Spencer and Danny Connell gets. dragged. The guy who keeps all the receipts and the guy who has never kept a receipt.

The guy who eats all the receipts. If I could just, yeah, let's just make some sort of extremely dramatic, completely unbored observation about Colin McCord. Danny Cannell do my taxes. Yeah. Hey, if the Cleveland Browns don't draft Kyle McCord with the number one draft pick, I'll cut my dick off. There you go.

If Kyle McCord isn't on your Heism ballot right now, you deserve to have. have your voting rights stripped. Yeah. And I mean all of them. Not just your Heism rights. No, all of them. Your children shouldn't be allowed to vote. I think a dog should rip your face off if you don't vote for Kyle McCord for Heisman.

So now that we've given everybody those snippets, share them, use them. Yeah. Remember, attribute them to Split Zone Duo. If you have a complaint about them, send it to 38 Godfrey. But what one could do at this point? point is we could make the entire plane out of late September, mid-September hypotheticals. If you wanted to, okay, and that's what I have done here, is I have made a bracket out of currently undefeated teams. Did I look down the road to see how many of them were playing each other?

A couple of them. I'm weighing in it. Some of these will take each other out. Don't worry about it. If this seems too horrifying to you. I have constructed one. And I would like you take you through my web of madness here on what the bracket could look like.

First round. Okay? First round. And I will say, I think the one with the home advantage here would be the eight seed, not the nine seed. So thus hosting in the first college football playoff game ever, it would be the Memphis Tigers. I think you should know that we've had a college football playoff before this

but please go ahead. Not like this, Ryan. We've had little playoffs. Please. Four teams not a playoff. You're like, oh, we had a party. Three people came over, bitch. That's not a party.

That's a meeting. Yeah, that's a Zoom call in real life. What are you? A Quaker? Yeah. Oh, that's a traffic accident. That's not a party. So, hosting the Illinois

Aligni at the nine seed, the number eight seed, Memphis Tigers, both currently undefeated, and in my projections, just sailing it out, baby, just dominating the rest of the way. Ryan Silverfield, forever telling Alex Kirchner to eat that shit by going to the playoff. That's the first one. Okay. Yes.

In a moment of mercy to Alex, can we just concede, as we suggested on previous episodes, that he maybe just had the wrong Memphis coach? Of course. There's no way he could have had that much doubt in Ryan Silverfield. it's also just like it's Alex it's fine to be wrong it's fine oh my god listen we're wrong so often please no we're not I'm disturbed when I'm right I'm not sure I would know what it felt like yeah Memphis a a fine contender to make the the the final field so that's a great great pick by coach great pick coach thank you thank you coach I really appreciate that it's a great community

of coaches we have here means a lot coming from you coach 512 game is the next one At the five seed, and again, entirely probable here. So this is the best conference champ, most likely, that didn't get one of the top four seeds? Is that roughly what we're thinking? Can you lay this out a little, can you lay out the background a little bit? Because I don't think it's undefeated, I know it's not undefeated Notre Dame at this point. No, no, no, no. I have at number five through a series of outrageous circumstances that you're going to have to invent for yourself.

the number five seed old miss old miss is at five okay it could happen all right so not a conference champ right well our conference champs we'll get to them and then at the 12 seed i have and again entirely probably here Toledo also also not out of it yet you're saying you're saying that these are probable like that makes it more interesting all right so he's what i actually think the reverse is true so he's now put group of five teams in. And he's given, he's given one of them a very high seed. I think I kind of glossed over that a little bit. Yes, an eight seed. An eight seed. That win over FSU will rise in value. Yeah, uh-huh, 100%. I think what you have postulated by putting Old Miss at five is that Old Miss makes it to the SEC championship game, but loses the SEC championship

game. In dramatic close fashion. Okay. So, so, nearly tragicomic fashion. Already, Like, Ole Miss, infamously, a team that has never played in the SEC championship game, and now the conference is only bigger. All right. So, so history in the making from Spencer Hall. Please continue. Is this, like, by the way, I like by the way that the least improbable part of this thus far is, Old Miss?

Sure, sure. I mean, other than Illinois, yeah. Oh, well, listen, it's about to get a lot worse in terms of figuring out a way this could actually happen. But I have taken all of you. Do you think he's going to leave a power four conference out entirely? I'm eager to see the top four if there's a thing I'm waiting to hear there. Okay, good, good, good, good. Okay.

Now, at the number seven seed versus the number 10 seed, we have hosting a playoff game and releasing a series of fish and waterfowl killing balloons to celebrate. Nebraska, okay. Nebraska at 7 Now this is too realistic So Nebraska and Illinois Who play this week This is a potential national title preview

We had to run it back We had it was good Or Jason it's irrelevant Because they're both getting in baby It doesn't matter Yeah The committee Nothing but pride on the line

In these two lock horns Because we know they'll make the field College football starts At the Nebernoi rivalry Okay Oh my God Is that what it's called? Okay

it can be it is now i love it uh so after the the people wanted the nebranoi rivalry again they needed to see it they did so they're about to get it again that's number seven nebraska i'm grabbing um our strip mall poets i'm grabbing our midriff warriors i'm grabbing our Arizona state sun devils at 10 just an astonishing job of turning it around okay so yeah we're now we're off the deep end okay because now you've given us a big 12 team that can't be again can't be a conference champ he didn't make them undefeated no no no i understand so they're in at 11 and 1 something like that yes illinois is also 11 and 1 something oh no the big 12 champ is in here and you're going to love well yeah but you can't put them this low is all i'm saying i just did okay okay well but go ahead huh go ahead go ahead i see i think i've spotted

the problem. I love the point. I love the point. It's not real. It's not real. Remember, this is not real. Now, at the next one, hosting in the electric environment of Columbia, Missouri in December. At the sixth seed, we have Missouri, and they are going to be hosting a team that brings with them the burden of the future of our civilization.

representing critical race theory, communism, and eco-terrorism. Auburn's not in the playoff. That's recent disciple, Aubrey. They recently converted. Yeah, they're still learning. They have much to learn. They'll be home studying during all this. So, Spencer, did you try to pair a plausible with a non-plausible?

I think the word try is probably where that sentence goes wrong. I think he did. That's what the universe provided you with. Correct. Okay. So, because like, Mizzou, you know, it, currently in line.

And then of course our, of course our Cal bears are. This is a little like watching a dog put together IKEA furniture where you're like, he's doing pretty well, but it's very wrong. Yes. I think it's, we have a situation where like the legs are technically functional. Yes.

And now to place the table atop the legs. We're about to do that. Oh, he's eating the table. So let's assume that Memphis, manages to all right give me give me give me your just real quick run down who you've got

I want to write this down okay go ahead no shay there's no wrong answers here but game one if anything has ever been said about this show

game one this is our 12 5 that is 8 9 8 9 is oh sorry Memphis Illinois I'm so sorry that I assumed that Memphis would be the 12 seed and not the 8th scene It's the first time I've ever wished we had video.

Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. 512 is Ole Miss v. Toledo. Right. Uh-huh. Of course. Toledo storming its way through the state of Mississippi. That's right. Easy win.

Guaranteed that. Sure. Yep. Okay. The 710 is Nebraska, Arizona State. Right. Wait. Okay.

Yeah. All right. Gotcha. I like that Ryan's pausing for. Hmm. Does that make sense? It's endearing. I thought I got lost on the Nebraska, Illinois thing, but I forgot you already had them.

We're just supposed to clap like monkeys for you? Yes. When you say your funny stuff? I recall someone at one point saying, I don't want any interchange on social media. I just want people to validate me and tell me I'm right. Okay, that's not nearly as pithy as how I said it, which is all I want is a million followers and no mentions. That's way better, see? That's all any of us want is a huge audience that never challenges us.

Hmm 6-11 is Missouri v. Cal Right Missoucal Uh-huh Mm-hmm Okay

Now we're getting to the really fucked up stuff Okay Okay Hell yeah Okay So Memphis and Illinois We'll assume that

We've bypassed playoff Illinois to get to the real fucked up shit All right So So Yep Memphis, Illinois

Somebody's got to to come out of that bloodbath, might as well be the Tigers. Memphis would then go on to face number one seed and SEC champion the undefeated Tennessee volunteers. Okay.

Wow, state battle for in the playoff. Uh-huh. Yep. Okay. Then 512. Let's assume that the universe still bends.

Let's assume that the universe still bends against the trajectory of old miss ever having anything nice and they lose to Toledo it's nice to have faith is depending on old miss to do anything a form of faith like if i feel like there's a joke uh yeah because faith has evidence of things not seen huh so i think uh i mean just believing that old miss will fuck up is yeah that's pretty bankable all right so if we're going with that i'm going to take old miss wins because i've never seen that so let's say old miss wins okay

Yeah, let's see some shit. Yeah, let's see some really fucked up shit. Let's get weird. That would mean Old Miss would go in against the four seed and ACC champion. The Kyle McCord-driven machine that is the Syracuse Orange Man. Okay, good. Add it. Lord, Jesus.

Syracuse, if you're not using all this shit, like, what are you doing? Only the four? If you don't think Syracuse is making the playoff, I need you to jump face first into a bucket full of razors. You know, we're going to have to redo it. all these again and say it's Syracuse, right? Syracuse. Nope. Syracuse.

Pronouncing it a variety of ways really emphasizes that they have truly become America's team with every region struggling to pronounce their name. Did he say syrup? I think he said syrup cues. Syrup cubes? Sounds delicious. I love to crumble one of my waffles. They're the United Nations, an uncontroversial topic.

It's what astronauts eat. Syrup cubes. What's the over under and Syracuse, Old Miss? Alright. Okay. Who's the winner of Nebraska-Arizona State playing? Oh, boy. That's tough, but I'm going to go ahead and say that Nebraska powers through based on sheer motivation provided by Motivator Supreme Matt Rule. Just plays David Goggins tapes until they manage to punch through in the fourth quarter and win 12-9 or something. And that's when they would go in to face the two-seed, the eventual Big Ten champion. the undefeated Indiana Hoosiers

Yeah That one's not weird You don't want to see something strange Sure Other than what Spencer's presenting Please go ahead If I can detour us for a minute I'm dropping a link into the chat

I'm dropping the Winsipedia into the chat Syracuse and Ole Miss have never played But if you look at their records On a timeline from The existence to their programs Which were just a few years apart to now. There are major peaks and valleys with a couple of exceptions like 1948, but there, and again in 1987, their major peaks and valleys kind of coincide.

There are a lot of similarities. Like this isn't, this isn't the, it's not in the same key, but it rhymes, you know? Right. Like, uh, Syracuse has five conference championships, old miss claims six uh all time records are syracuse is 561 winning percentage old miss is 552 like yeah sirs i refuse of the south well syracuse is a heisman winner and oh yeah that's true old miss doesn't have any of those that's how we tell them apart same almost the same number of first round draft picks too yeah yeah syracuse also has more weeks at api number one than old Oh, my God, that's the saddest part. Okay, sorry.

Who's, who, uh... Sorry, I just thought that was interesting. Let's go back. And now, Mazoo and Cal. Uh, yes, Mizzu and Cal, which I'm going to go ahead and say that once again, history underrates the guerrilla army's chances against the oppressor. Mizzu loses to our brave people's army of Cal, and Cal advances to face our number three seed. That's correct.

UCF Okay Okay So Columbia having been Decolonized by the Cal Bears The true misery is inequality They now Um

So UCF won Which conference Spencer? Big 12 Okay All right We did it We did it though Yeah

Yeah it works As long as With the With caveat that this means Like 13 and O Toledo is in entirely due to the committee just thinking they're the number 12 this is it this works yeah and then and then that takes us to tennessee v memphis right which i'm going to go ahead

and adjudicate in favor of tennessee they would advance this would get us to syracuse old miss who i'm this far in because we've already we've already covered it on wednesday if you don't think yeah exactly if you don't think syracuse is a championship caliber team then fuck you The edge is there. Yeah, that's right. So Syracuse, as one of the last four standing, that takes us to Indiana, Nebraska, which, can I just say that if you watch this game,

you instantly become closer to a Lutheran god, right? You may not even believe that the Lutheran God exists, but they move nearer to thee anyway if you watch this game. Beer. Beer is what the Lutheran God is. Yes. And the Lutheran, that would be a great, be your brand name, Lutheran Godale.

I'm going to go ahead and suggest that since we're in for a penny, we're in for a pound, the Hoosiers win this game. Well, yeah. And advance. It is really cruel that you put Nebraska in the playoff and then had them lose to Indiana. They want a game. Do you know what that is? That's future motivation.

That's future motivation. No, that's future motivation. That's progress. Yeah. Okay. Tangible progress. Sure. Exactly. You want to leave some coachable points on the table for next year. Yeah. What else is Matt Ruhle going to do? there are only so many motivational books you can read then that takes us to UCFV Cal I'm going to suggest that

honestly are the revolution rolls on that we get Cal into the quarterfinals Space has been decolonized oh no I'm sorry sorry that's Houston Houston is Space University the name of stadium after space UCF now ranks third in space standings yes it's number but you know what it's number one in sketchy fifteen dollar helicopter rides that's it so now cal has colonized or decolonized thank you yes decolonized sketchy helicopter rides so cal to the quarters leaving tennessee v syracuse classic matchup everyone says this all the time

who is the orangest yes and i will say that the man yeah that's what it's for Guinness must that I'm hot Call that an orange bowl God damn That's how Tennessee Clemson was the orange bowl Yeah We've got to do that every year

Yeah Yeah I will say that Tennessee advances Sorry They are the orangeer There goes the love of there Syracuse doubter Spencer Hall If you don't think

Syracuse can beat Tennessee Tennessee is undefeated all time versus Syracuse sir Just saying Really Wow Put your head against the wheel of an oncoming semis

The last one Okay Tennessee wins They advance to the final There's the Paul Pascalone era I know that might shock some people They lost a word game Indiana V Cal

Again another classic Everyone says this And I think that Like most revolutions This one is broken on the back Of the machine that is Indiana Hoosiers So you have given us a national championship Are we prepared for 15 Wendiana?

This is a rematch of The what was that The 2019 Gator bowl. Yeah. I think the last time in the animated bowl game and probably should have won it and really fucked up.

Really fucked up. This was the one we're in the crowd The Bokyseps, the Bokysab's cards. Alphabet vomit in the stands. This time it's for the title. And because I know where my bread is buttered in terms of sponsorship money.

Okay, good. local sellout Spencer Hall Local sell it If you don't like Homefield Apparel All right no You got to do the song

First Podcast business What's a business Homefield If you win the title this year Change Indiana's fight song To this Indiana

Who's win the national title Because I made it Hepinette And it's homefield Wow All right Well As

I don't know if that makes the entire last segment SpongCon or not? I don't think it is because I know Homefield had nothing to do with it whatsoever. That's what you want to think. We're just that smooth. But this podcast is in fact sponsored by Homefield Apparel.com and it's wormed its way into Spencer's brain so much that he's coming up with convoluted playoff brackets where Indiana wins the national title. So Spencer, Cry on Con. Did you have all of these matchups decided beforehand or did you, did your mental computer simulate them after you'd laid out the bracket?

I had them simulated ahead of time. Okay. I assume you ran a thousand simulations. There may have been some snipping and some, there may be a lot of film on the editing room floor. Spencer has one of those mind palaces like Sherlock Holmes, but when you go in there, it's just like, wow, there's a lot of Serrano ham in here. Jesus Christ.

It is time for me to enter my mind garage. this is the rare literal sir this is an arby's the mind rb I must retreat to the mind deli only there will I crack the mystery only inside can I find the mind meats like you know with those scenes where I'm trying the mind curly fries

I am at the mind skate park you know where he's like looking and going no and he'll grab like an item and then something will flash in front of his mind and he'll select it bring it in you know for the like chain of induction he's pulling For most people it would just be like Butts get a tweet Snap Like it would be the most

Tweeting about butts Yeah It would be the most uninspiring selection of things And how does Spencer How do you The finest detective in London How do you protect the carapist That carries your most valuable mind

Well governor What I do Is I step out in one of my home field apparel coaching jackets that's what i like to do do you find it increases your attributes when it comes to solving a case it gives me like a plus four on all induction rolls wow damn yeah um it's crazy how my already astronomical perception is increased when i get on my Purdue boiler maker's coach's jacket actually the the Purdue one really just makes me that gives you plus like plus five math which feels redundant

it does yeah because I'm already at like maths it's actually maths sorry fuck damn it maths yeah see I'm already at a 20 math so if I was plus five I would be never mind exactly critical maths is what we're caught I put on my classic trident coach's jacket from the Indiana

Hoosiers which just makes me feel like a winner even though I also really do love the Maryland Terps one with the happy turtle one and even listener if you are not as smart as Ludin's greatest detective Spencer Hall. You can make a smart choice and get 20% off your first order

using offer code full cast. Oi, Govna, what's all this? You could not just give him an opening to do a British accent. He already had it. He already had it. It's fine. It doesn't matter. Oh, boy.

I feel pretty confident about this playoff bracket. Sense and logic be damned. Just like I feel really good about my chance. of winning using prize picks. That's right. Price picks. It's America's number one daily fantasy sports app

with over 5 million active members. It's the easiest and most exciting way to play daily fantasy sports. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. It must be complicated. It must require several, several formulae. You're doing it.

This sounds hard. Spreadsheets. Like, surely there must be some sort of like special, you know, Nintendo. 64 extender pack that I need to do prize picks, right? Ryan, no extender pack necessary because

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You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It is guaranteed. Prize picks run your game more. It is now time to play our weekly game presented by prize picks. Less or more. And Holly, I know this will not make you comfortable, but I have decided to theme this week's game around Tennessee's win over Kent State. We talked about it on the forecast after-d-

I thought you were going to say Oklahoma, and now I'm fine. No, no. I have selected- No, I'm fine. That already happened. Yes, I have selected a number of stats from Tennessee's win over Kent State, and I'm going to compare them to a handful of other teams' relevant statistics for the year. Jason and Spencer, you will be my players today.

who has more what is more what is less Tennessee points against Kent state 71 as a reminder or Duke points scored in their first three games that is undefeated Duke football for the record who has more Duke played Northwestern therefore less okay I will say Tennessee has more yes you're both incorrect but it's not that it's not that far off Duke has 70 points on the year. Tennessee scored 71 points. If they had only not let up against Kent State, perhaps you would have been right.

All right. Georgia rushing yards in three games or Tennessee rushing yards against Kent State. Tennessee is like number one or two in the country in rushing. I'm going to go to Tennessee more.

I'm going to go Georgia more, but not by much. It is indeed close. Jason wins this round. Tennessee had 456 rushing yards against Kent State, which is just a shitload. Georgia through three games, 437 rushing yards. Obviously suppressing this is that, like, Kentucky held the ball for roughly 47 minutes. It scored 12 points in loss, but it's not important. Okay.

Punts forced by Tennessee against Kent State or punts forced by LSU in their first three games. who has more? LSU is forced zero, I believe. By my calculations. Yeah, I'm going to go with Kent State there, yeah. More Tennessee. This was a bit of a trap. LSU has forced more punts.

Tennessee forced eight puns against Kent State, and LSU in three games is up to a mighty 10 punts forced. Take that, Nichols. And our last statistic in less or more. third downs converted by Tennessee in the Kent State game, just total, or third downs converted by the Florida Gators in their first three games combined. Tennessee has more, more. Tennessee more.

Tennessee had nine converted third downs against Kent State, and the Florida Gators, one and two, have converted eight third downs in their first three games. so that ladies and gentlemen was probably the most pro-tenessee version of less or more this podcast certainly has done and may ever do but again the winner is you for playing and for hopefully shouting the only two words that matter during this segment less or more entirely up to you more additionally our call for music disasters remains open for our october third show in birmingham Alabama. Shut down fullcast at Gmail for those. Remember like tweetish

length or shorter. We'll probably increase your odds of being selected. Are we having a cutoff point for those where we'd say Yeah, it'll probably come at some point soon, but like I'm feeling, uh, feeling, you know, it's, it's hoodie season. So I'm feeling warm toward the... Generous. Yeah. Feeling warm. Maybe too warm, folks.

Also, a few tickets for that show are still available. So if you, if you want to, if you want to come, then go ahead and get locked in. It's time to get locked in With the schedule We could look at the schedule We could look at the schedule There is a schedule

There is traditionally What a segue Do we declare Podcast Business concluded Hereby Podcast Business Has reached its climax I banished thee

Back to London from where you came Hey I have Not you, you say. No, not me. The world's greatest detective needs to parse the mysteries of the week four schedule. We don't need no podcast business. Speaking of, speaking of serious podcast business, are...

It takes a lot to make me say. It takes a lot for this show to discuss to me. Jason just recalled like he'd been shot. This is supposed to be a supportive environment. After all the bull sheep. Oh, that's for whom? No, I'm, I'm, listen, I'm banned from Oi What's It. I can't set foot in Oi What's It.

That has, that has ramifications beyond this mere recording. I cannot do the Oi What's It voice. All right. Speaking of Oi What's It, we're going to go ahead and skip past, I know, South Alabama at App State. Just let those nerds at Split Zone Doa talk about that one. I want to get to eventual playoff Syracuse Bracket Buster!

You've got three playoff teams playing Friday night, Syracuse, Illinois, and Nebraska. And I'm assuming San Jose State was one of your bubble teams. They are. They're just right there. Also assuming that we're going to be referring to them as such for the rest of the season. Playoff bubble team, San Jose State.

Hey, let's point out that San Jose State, Washington State game for a couple of reasons. One, full cast favorite, John Beteer, is going to be helming the Washington State offense for better and worse, baby. His life's a knife. It cuts both ways, like John Beteer.

That's going to be at 10 p.m. But it's going to be one of your first opportunities to watch football on the CW. Yes, right, we're going CW, baby. It's CW after dark. That's usually reserved for shows about Batman's children. Yeah. Or dad?

Unclear. That's a short show. People one generation removed from Batman. Just every episode. Look, he gets killed again. Oh, man. That'd be the, I'd watch every single episode of that. Come watch this,

come watch this rich guy get killed. In ever more exotic fashion. Bruce, come down on the submarine with me. It's my dream to see the Titanic. The wily coyote of DC comics is Batman's dad. Dad, I can't get in the sub. Bonk. I'll be back in a minute, son.

No, I think the, I think the good reveal is every time you come up with an elaborate scenario, but they all end with a robber shooting him. Like, he takes a submarine down to see the Titanic. and at the bottom there's a robber there's a robber in crime alley who shoots him at the bottom of the sea but it's your fucking pearl necklace

movement behind the staircase that's why I want him it's always like a little sick shooter on pearls down here I'm giving them back to the clams so somebody go ahead in green light Bruce Wayne's dad gets iced

every single week yeah yeah uh also Illinois Nebraska on a Friday night Set yourself in Get some hard-heel home cooking A ranked versus ranked game Ranked versus 20th

That's fucked up The last two times this game Has been played in Lincoln Illinois won by 17 And Illinois won by 18 So 19 it is There it is

There it is Revenge game Revenge game Imagine being mad I think that'd be pretty easy A lot of people have Yeah A lot of people have

But how could you You'd look over and be like Oh that big old Rudy Bacon That's not what happened in Arkansas That's not what happened in Arkansas Oh come on They get mad at everybody That's true

That they should frankly On Saturday at noon Do you want to watch a team Get launched into the fucking moon at noon on Fox You can watch Ohio State play Marshall The line is Ohio State By 40 and a half

If they're going to the moon They'll get there before UCF does Yeah That's right Spencer Do you think this is the largest line of the week? I don't think so, no No, it's not

What is the largest line of the week? It's not even scrolling Looking over ESPN's odds Um The There are two lines that I see that exceed this immediately above it is Texas

favored by 44 and a half points they're hosting Louisiana Monroe and the aforementioned Kent State goes to Penn State where Penn State is a 49 point favorite in a game that has an over under of 56 and a half points. There's no need for this.

This doesn't need to happen. Again, I watch Kent State decline the running clock because they're like, you got to kill me. You've got to kill me all the way, Ted. I didn't hear no bell. Sorry, but you wanted to talk about Marshall Ohio State. No, that's it.

On Fox. That's all. That's the big nude game. If you want to watch somebody get punted into the sun, and there won't be many punts by Ohio State, it's going to be this game. I've liked the promos for this game. They were like, Ohio State and opponent.

Yes. Next week. Yeah. Yeah. From the producers of Ohio State, Michigan. Comes a thrilling sequel, Ohio State at Marshall. It's the Block M. You know it.

You love it. And if you're blue-green, colorblind, you're going to love this game. Same academic standards. Same style of football. Just Ohio State fans crying with rage in the third quarter as they're like, beat the D.M. This is the only way we can do it. I wonder if they scared to the Marshall because they can't beat Michigan.

That's probably what happened. Because they haven't beaten Michigan since. Who are the other block arms that they could beat Mississippi State? Maryland's not quite a block of them. Well, no, they can't beat the zoo. I think Maryland counts. I think Maryland counts. Maryland counts.

Miami of Ohio? Yeah. Okay. Just line above. Ohio State could probably handle them this year. If you got a big old lamb, you come play Ohio State. Minnesota, you're up. They got feelings to work out on you.

Eat shit. Washington, flip you upside down. I like how no one said Michigan State. Well, there's a block-ass. Yeah. Beating Minnesota's just not as satisfying. Their logo is a hat. Virginia, you go upside down and double up.

Don't you invite Middle Tennessee State. Don't do it. That's right. additionally at noon florida plays mississippi state no no one has to watch this no one has bad for you no no what all right what jason like there's a better option all right jason give us a little watch grade yeah give us a little watch grid preview what what should you do with your time at noon so i have not actually mapped it out yet usually i do by the time of the tuesday episode but i am receiving this information in real time um i mean charlotte's uh going to play playoff indiana

um yeah so like i'll probably keep an eye on nccc clemson sure okay but that's a 20 point spread yep um i'm gonna be honest man uh one of the most important storylines right now is when will billy napier be fired and we might find out very soon so my main screen option i gotta be honest it probably will be the florida game uh if you want to know when billy naper will be fired I can tell you it's it's after it's after the next by week because we know how to fire a coach which is next week cool

yeah so he could be fired like if you were going ahead and you're like hey I'm a degenerate I would like to take a flyer on a wager when Billy Napier is going to be unemployed after this by week or after this game is

pretty good all right so noon is officially this is a time to take your kid to a birthday party noon is just slop zone yeah i mean we're getting i mean we're getting spoiled with illinois nebraska on friday night you got to make up for that and look obviously that means one or more of these games will be really fun but we can't know that now yeah this is always a thing when we say that people are like you said it was going to be bad no we said it was going to be gross yeah i would suggest space marine two if you read jason's newsletter, you know that there's lots of

good gross to be out there. Yes, but otherwise, have you considered the glories of a video game? You could just put this on and then play that. Have it on in the back. Touch digital grass. Space Marine 2, that's a shooty one? Yes. It's like doom

in space. Is that it? It's like doom in space. Yeah. I mean, doom's already in space. I was going to say that's doom further away in an even more hellish space. Oh, yeah. It's do, it's like doom with hell. Oh, wait. Yep. It's right.

Right. So it's doom. You're wearing a blue suit. Blue doom. Blue suit doom. Blue suit doom. But you have to go to later in the day to actually get some something like value on this schedule. For instance, you want to see a real wacky game.

Holy shit. Number 11 USC at number 18 Michigan. Something's got to give. Can I ask a mean question that's pointless? I would love. I would say most of my questions to friend this way. There's not really a reason

for Michigan to be ranked other than they won the national championship last year, right? Yeah, we do this dumb thing where we go, I don't know. And that's fine. Like, I get that it's sort of like, it's a nice thing to do. And they are, they have one. I recognize that, like,

unlike other teams, they have one, they have won two of their games. So the computer composite has them at 14th right now. Okay. But there's a puncher. line. It appears several of those computers have not updated because I'm seeing three of them that still have them at number two. So grain of salt there. Okay. Okay. Like, and look, they're 18. That's fine.

We're not like giving them too much shine. It's just a little weird that we saw USC beat LSU in a neutral site in a very good game. And the best Michigan win we have seen is, I guess, beating Fresno State. Maybe. Maybe Arkansas State? Yeah, it's fine. It doesn't matter. Listen, and if they beat USC, I'll look like a real fucking dummy. And that's great too.

Everybody loves that. Do you think that they could beat USC? It's like, it's the better question. I don't know. Yeah. I don't have, I think Michigan, so Michigan's changing quarterbacks. Alex Orgy is starting now. And if they, if that also means like, fuck it, we just run.

we don't throw then yeah there is a version of this game where they just hold like they kind of do something like what kentucky tried to do against georgia and they're just like yep we're we're going to bleed a lot of clock we're going to try to score when we have the ball and we're going to try to limit the damage what you do and yeah that's like a good recipe for a coin flip game i i mean i would have both these teams in the same tier like sure u s you being favored makes sense but Yeah, dude, I see it, I could see a scenario where USC's defense does that thing where they go, whoops, one-run gap allowed, and Donovan Edwards. They just looked, they just looked a lot sounder against DLSU.

That's the only thing that gives me pause. I know, the question is like, does everyone look a lot sounder against it? Like, because I thought about, I thought about certain aspects of USC's game. I was like, oh, they look a lot sounder. Sure. Maybe so. Maybe it, maybe it is a game that didn't tell us that. much, that's fine. Because LSU, I think we're going to find the word is uneven. They seem deeply uneven to me in a lot of ways. Okay. I don't think that's the game you should watch at 330, though. Okay. I think you should tune your television to ESPN Prime. I think you should

watch Arkansas play Auburn. No! Because I think you should see one team experience the lowest feeling, like, I know Auburn lost the cow. I get that. I know Arkansas blew, like, a serious opportunity to beat Oklahoma State. This is going to feel terrible for whoever loses this game. It just, it just is, and it's not going to go away for a while. And the opportunity to see that, because, like, these are not just flawed teams, these are teams that are capable of spitting the bit in ways you did not think possible. Like, not to go back to this well too many times, but like, Florida is a bad team in ways that are just like failures of execution.

Arkansas and Auburn are teams of like, oh, no, the machine is not supposed to do that. It did something, but it did it very, like, why is the button for pancakes and got a bus ticket? Yes, like the toaster is bleeding. What's happening right now? That's the value of watching that game at 3.30. I always gravitate toward a game where you think Oh man somebody's got to lose right Like some games it's like

Hmm it'll be interesting to see who wins Yes quite the opposite yes like the pure amount of Fuck this coach that will come out of Whoever loses this game is going to be It could power small nations It has the potential Not saying it will But it has the potential to maybe push somebody close

to Napier territory of like fuck this guy we have to get him like if if Arkansas came in and beat Auburn by 30 mm-hmm I don't know what happens there like no they're not gonna they're not going to fire Hugh Freeze this this week and probably not even this season but like the mood and the venom would become yes so syrupy at that point I will also say um about Auburn they have not merely been liberated by the woke Cal Golden Bears they have in fact begun passing it on as well because right before this I was in an Auburn English class talking about my book full of very leftist lib woke shit so I can confirm that Auburn has not merely fallen but is in fact infecting and spreading the woke mind virus and Arkansas

you're next Auburn has fallen and it's comfy down here I'm gonna lay here for a minute we also have one of my like loki like i love it when these two teams play because i like mess Arizona state at Texas Tech would you like a predictable result you don't get one that's why the line is only Texas Tech by three because that's what betters do when they're like ah don't touch it not with the 10 foot pole uh Arizona at Texas Tech this will be the game that pops into your feeds like this like huh another score hmm weird dog on the field huh wolf on the field like that's that's what this game will be good for uh yeah um we kind of skipped over louville at georgia tech louisville's two and o and 19th and they

have played like jacksonville state who doesn't look like they're going to be that good this year uh and i think it was austin p was their other opponent opponent so an interesting opportunity to see if like louisville is building on last year or not in an aces that like I don't know does any do any of you feel particularly confident in I know what the ACC will look like other than Miami is probably really good

um well Cowellman oh sorry I apologize yes we've already established Cal Miami ACCC championship yeah but other than that it's all the mystery I think I think we can predictably I'm going to go ahead and say I think Miami's a cryptocurrency I think that they're

but sometimes those only have to be that doesn't like the problem with cryptocurrency is not necessarily is that it's not necessarily a valuable long-term investment if it only has to be good for six months maybe that works i'm going to bail on it now okay i'm just going to go ahead and bail on it now all right i think i think they're good i don't think they're necessarily the kind of consistent that you can go ahead and bank there are no syracuse right that's correct by the way if you don't believe syracuse could win the entire ac c that what i want you to do is run face first to do a class door right now. What about if we don't believe in Miami of Florida, what about Miami of Ohio? Because Notre Dame has a chance to finally beat a Mac team, and it'll be interesting to see if they can get it done.

You're saying mean words, and all I see is handsome coach. That's it. I think I have to lose for three years straight before I turn on that man. They might. He walks in the room, and I just feel warm. I agree. Chuck Martin is quite a little. There's something about that man.

Something about the Jerry Gurgichness of his sweater vest. Makes me want to get mactive. Arizona State, Texas Tech, that sounds fucked up. Hey, Utah, Oklahoma State. That's a really big game. In terms of watching a hero struggle up with the Boulder, the Sisyphus game of the week is going to be Vanderbilt at Mizzou Diego Pavia

buddy I'm with you in spirit your flesh may wind up being thrown into the stands by Mizzou but again great teams great teams cover I have faith Vandy

even if you did lose to the concrete campus at Georgia State last week Miami your fraud of the week is going to USF which gave Pama all it could handle, but that's pretty much all USF does is...

Watch your ass. Yeah. Northwestern Washington Conference game, that's fucked up. And then at 7 p.m. on ESPN 2, your Cal Golden Bears are going to woke Calahassee, decolonize it, liberate it, hold space for it. Do some CRT, DEI all over it. That's right. We're, the pronouns we're going to have to use during this game. Shit that hadn't even come up with yet.

Yeah. Inclusive and magnificent pronouns that you don't even understand. We're going to have to use to describe. It's so long, too. And they're going to change, like, every three minutes. That's right. We're going to be redistributing the ball all over the field. I started saying, Vosotros.

I don't even know why. Yes. The memes will be, I'm watching this game for the memes. I'll be honest. What I want more out of the memes is more MSPaint, less AI. Like, I understand y'all are like tech dorks. Let's just less AI. Just draw it.

And then we'll be there. We will be there. Cal Twitter will be national champs if we can just get that done. Fully agreed. If they, if they can't beat Cal, like, I think we are officially on, like, I don't, I'm not sure I see the path where Florida State makes a bowl this year. Oh, yeah. like this is we are at a pivot point i mean it's uh their only gimme is charleston southern from here i give them florida at that point oh right sorry yes yes i guess i was lumping the two fcs teams

together in correct yes yes you can give them those two you can say like i think they'll beat smu and duke not necessarily true but you can put them in there that's four you can call north carolina coin flip game that's probably generous to florida state and then then they would have to either beat one of the three, then they'd have to be one of the three ranked teams currently on their schedule. Yeah, like, if they can't be Cal, like, I don't think you can pull out of this tailspin, frankly. It would be one thing if Florida State had anyone behind DJU Yangolele, but they really don't. It's not like, it's not like this is some foolish over-extension of credit to DJU. This is what they've got. And it's not much better down the bench.

And I'm also not sure how much better they would be with an above average quarterback. Yes, I agree with that. Like, they would need a really good quarterback. Because they have so many other problems. Now, I apologize to Cal Twitter. I think what's going to happen in this game is Florida State's going to win by 20, and a certain segment of Florida State Twitter is going to be like,

we're fucking bad. You'll hold out at us, but one in three, Florida State is not here for the disrespect. Pete fucking Cal. Transit of win over Auburn. just like at our national championship game um are holly how much or a little are we allowed to talk about tennessee oklahoma all you want okay do you want to talk about tennessee oklahoma not particularly

okay Tennessee favored by a touchdown in norman oklahoma i will say that you want to talk about expectations i i will say that i got a i did get a Tennessee fan of my mention saying holly what we supposed to do to combat this bad one touchdown favorite energy what is bad about being a one touchdown favorite i don't mind that's like saturday i don't mind people uh i mind i mind people who think they know what's going to happen okay okay also someone's looking at you don't look at it yeah don't do not do not wish to be perceived these uh the thing that really the thing that really

makes me hesitant about predicting this came, much as I would love to see another, you know, another week of what happened to NC State is these coaches know an awful lot about each other. Sure. This is Venables and Hypo go way back. I go way back specifically at Oklahoma.

Hypo in particular, and this is kind of another story, this is something Spencer and I've been kicking around for a while at Channel 6 and haven't quite landed on yet. The Hypole's evolved offensively. since then. And frankly, I haven't followed Venables closely enough since he left Clemson to be able to say whether or not he's done the same in a complimentary fashion or in a fashion that's really going to bother. But these guys know each other's tricks. And I think that adds

a very special era of mystery. I would like to see, I would like to see what this team's actually made of. I think there is one thing trending in favor of Oklahoma. regret to say oh what on oklahoma's coaching staff the thing i've just discovered just now their co-offensive coordinator and their tight-ins coach is named joe john finley j oh shit j o e john not j jay finley not joe john finley is it one word it hard it's not one word and it's not hyphenated it's just joe john finley it's really hard to counter intangibles like that yeah yeah so if i have to if i have to pick. I'm picking Oklahoma blindly on that fact and that fact alone.

Tennessee could lose by eight or win by 40, and I don't feel like either would particularly surprise me. Sure. Just because we haven't seen, they haven't been doesn't feel like they've been tested yet. It's Floyd of Rosedale a week?

Yes. We love a giant metal pig. Does this feel too early for Floyd? It sure does, but after last week what is weird? Okay. I guess, I guess this is just the weird, the world that we live in now? Yeah. Last year, about a month from now.

It feels like it should be, I mean, yeah, I'm looking. It's usually a November game, isn't it? A year before that, two months from now. It's a lot, I'm seeing a lot of, there have been, in 2012 and 2013, this was a late, like, last week of September game. But it's usually, like, November is almost always when it falls. And if you go back to, like, the Big Ten was 10 or 11 teams, it's almost, it was, like, either Thanksgiving or the week before. There's an early October.

It seems to really move around, but this is pretty early. This is probably the earliest it's ever been, just scanning off of Winsopedia very lazily here. Yeah, this is the earliest Floyd has ever. Like, this is Floyd creep. This is what you get. The earliest Floyd has ever appeared. Next thing you know, it's going to be July.

You're going to be like, it's Floyd. Floyd's here. It has been in, oh, you said it's been in September. Yeah, it'll be, oh, the Halloween decorations are out. We've had Floyd out for a month and Mara Carey singing about Floyd. Fourth of July it comes down and then Costco's full of Floyd of Rosedale. All of a sudden, just earlier every year. I do think we should have a Floyd of Rosedale themed holiday somewhere.

I don't know what it would be, but I would appreciate if everybody got a Floyd for their house. You were visited by Floyd? Yeah, sure. That's fine. I visited by three Floyds. That's, I don't know if they're room. The Floyd of Minnesota yet to come. Oof, Minnesota passed.

I'm Glenn Mason I mean if pass is past enough If it's Minnesota way past That's pretty good Like 100 years ago awesome Yeah Yeah Just speaking Norwegian

Flutivrugin Back when football was football On the late night If you want We have Kansas State At BYUu Slobrenocker Yeah

Yeah I'll take that That's a solid Hit Nass football team versus a solid hit Nass football team one of them can kind of score and has better players um the other one's playing at home so i don't know that's some late night entertainment i'll definitely take a flyer on yeah um sign me sign me up for some of

that i'm a little bit i am a little bit interested in baler colorado like baler looks a bit better this year and they lost to utah but they didn't like they didn't get thrown on that badly by utah Utah, mostly impose their defensive will and ran the ball pretty efficiently against them. I don't think that's what Colorado would do, but... Right. Does Baylor look a little bit better like an elderly sick relative? You're like, they're talking now. He's really kind of when I'm picking up here. I mean, yeah, but it's still a better. I don't know. I really do.

don't know if if it's what i'm asking is is it a terminal kind of better where you go uh they look better this is not this doesn't rise to the level of arkansas auburn but it is a little bit of the team that loses this game it's like okay if you couldn't if your weaknesses were successfully exploited by this team and its weaknesses that probably bears bears poorly for you like maybe maybe that's why this is a little bit interesting to me that's what i mean i would love to see what a focused dave veranda defense would do to that colorado offense that's interesting to me i do not want to watch baylor play offense at all i've no you could skip that skip sim sim to next series that's fair i can't fault you for that um yeah looking at yards per play

a very chunky metric, but 80th this year, Baylor is. The Baylor's been 80th. It feels like they've been 80th for like, you remember, it was like, oh man, Grimes. People are definitely going to, they're going to hire that guy. 94th last year, 54th the year before that. Get out the fucking way. All the way up at 33rd in 2021.

Yeah, it's just been downhill for a minute there. I don't want to watch any of it. Okay, that's fair. You know what? You don't have to. I don't have to. I could just come in and watch the farm boys beat the beat up the Mormons. Classic matchup.

Because those are definitely two exclusive categories? I don't know, man. You're doing your best. Trying. You are. You are. You're too distracted by dreams of your Indiana in the national championship. Hoosiers just pack in Atlanta.

Do you ever do that thing where, like, you're trying to click on a team's schedule, but you're too lazy to search for the name of that team so you just click on a team in that team's conference and you're like, okay, I'll just do a few degrees of separation until I get there. It's hard to do now. I've been doing that for like 10 seconds trying to get to Pitt. I finally got there.

God. Yeah, yeah. The ACC is, no one plays anyone in this conference. Pitt has Youngstown State this week, great? Yeah, Pitt with one AP vote. Only one, only one? I really like, I think the AP, and Ralph Rousseau, obviously you're listening to this because.

Because you're responsible for all of the rankings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. AP Wizard, Ralph Ruzzo. I think the Associated Press should do more to celebrate the outliers and the brave souls who decide to do things. Like, I will be the only one to rank Pitt, or I will be the only one to not rank this team, or I will rank them 10 spots higher or lower. Like, I think the way to emphasize what a strange mathematical beast, the top 25 poll, is. is to show you, like, show you its innards and show you like, this is how it gets made. Yeah, and like, what times the ballots roll in and how late those writers stayed up and how much time they had to scrutinize each team?

Because you can, you can go to college poll tracker and you can find like, okay, Holly and I were talking about this. Who? Who ranked Pitt this week? And this is a gentleman named Sean Good. One person. There's one person. Undefeated Pitt got not one first place vote. Undefeated Pitt got one vote. At 25th. At the very bottom of the vote. They are in also receiving votes with one vote. Yes. And the brave voter who did this. Has no pit ties. Sean Goodwin, who is on the Boise State beat for the Idaho statesman in Boise, Idaho. And he is a Kansas grad. Yeah. And, and was. brave enough to say

I'll put Pitt at 25 and if you go to The man put pit in If you go to college poll tracker and look at Look at this. It says extreme pick Extreme pick And it's great I just looked at the computer composite

Which has Pitt at number C1 So this is indeed a bold pick I think it's correct to be clear Listen the record Doesn't lie That's just all I can Every underfeet team should get an AP vote This is the other reason why

the AP doesn't need to stop at 25 teams the AP should just do the number all the way through and if that means Pitt is like I think that makes them 43rd Pitt should get a little 43 in parentheses next to their name when they play on the they can put out a graphic and everything

right 43 yeah think of how many more graphics we'll have oh my god they should have a they should have one of those things that's hooked up to a car to start it for people who've had like a zillion DUIs, right? You can blow into it before you enter your poll results, right? It is kind of funny that like the number 25, which we arrived at by way of, you know,

many, many years ago, they, the polls were like 10 and then 20 and then they're like 25, 25, that's it. We're cutting it off. No, it went 25 and then back to 20 and then back to 25. But it never went beyond 25, which I'm assuming is probably something to do with like newspaper space, right? Yes, that's how much room we have. I think that's 100% right, yes.

Because of that, the playoff committee is. stuck ranking, even now with big playoff, more than twice as many teams as it actually needs to rank, because of newspaper space 60 years ago. It's also, like, I don't remember if this is still a thing the playoff committee considers, but, like, beating a

top 25 team is a thing that, like, has more weight, either actual or implied. But again, this is just a line we drew because we're like, the column's this big, and we don't want to have to go to the person who lays out the column says,

Uh-oh, there's 30 teams ranked this week. We need you to bump this ad for, like, tar-free cigarettes or something. Star-free diapers. Yes, right. Extra tar diapers. That ad needs to get pumped. Toughen your baby. Yeah.

Yes. I think we should just rank all the, if you get an AP vote, you should get ranked. It'll make the, it'll make, again, Ralph, I know you're writing all this down. I know you're keeping copious notes on all of this. There's no reason. in the digital age that we can't say good morning it's the AP top 60 because that's the number we got for you that's the number of because you know what will happen voters will respond voters will say oh i want the thrill that comes with holy shit i was the only person to rank

indiana give me give me give me that love yeah give me that give me that sweet sweet internet love and then they put you on the graphic your face yes who wouldn't want that most extreme voter too liberal for america radical voter guy who has pit 25th