Shutdown Fullcast - Welcome to Rapplebee's

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

We made Ryan watch the Applebee's commercial Spencer does charades, on a podcast Titanic is a movie about a thriving lady who rids herself of a worthless man We have re-declared war on England, this is largely unrelated to Titanic All of this happens before the 20-minute mark Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did I hear you're shopping for a car? Because I've been at it for ages. Such a time suck, right? Not really. I bought it on Carvana. Super convenient. Oh, then comes all the financing, research. Am I right?

Well, you can, but I got pre-qualified for a Carvana auto loan in like two minutes. Yeah, but then all the number crunching and terms, right? Nope. I saw real numbers as I shopped, found my dream car, and got it in a couple of days. Wait, like you already have it? Yep. Oh. Go to Carvana.com to finance your car the convenient way.

So the two guys that you see at the beginning of the commercial, Ryan, they're immigrants, right? And I think they're, I think they're Italian. Like, it's never super specified, which is kind of weird because you wonder if they're like automatically hopping on the Olive Garden thing. But they're coming to America. It's like a kind of like a TikTok romance thing. They're coming to America. And they stole away on this giant boat.

Okay. Okay. And in the boat are you like, you like swoop through and you meet a whole. whole bunch of characters. I can't tell if she's fucking with me. What do you mean? No, I cannot tell if you're fucking with me right now. No, the commercial's insane.

Okay. Go ahead. Okay. Does somebody else want to tell him? No, keep going. Okay. So there's this girl who's been promised in marriage by her family. You meet this other character.

And she has been promised in marriage by her family to this dude who like, This is an Applebee's commercial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's kind of a dick, and they're all, they're all, like, sitting around at dinner. Can I ask a question? Yeah. Is this other guy, Billy Zane? Caitlin told me you had never seen Titanic.

I haven't seen Titanic, but I don't know. Generally, that Titanic is a movie. Okay, that wasn't, man, I thought if I started with Fabrizio, you might not catch on for a minute. No one needs to watch Titanic to have seen Titanic. That's not the Appleby's. B's ad, that's the plot of the, of the motion picture. Hand of God, you really had me going. I was like, okay, sure.

Like, everybody is so worked up over this Appleby's ad that I'm like, all right. I guess. How did Billy Zane trigger this ball? No, Billy Zane is the trigger, though. I didn't say Billy Zane. No, but you implied him. The marriage plot specifically. I'm like, wait a second.

You implied a second. You thought Billy Zane. Yeah. Yeah. I did research for this for and everything. I asked your wife what's the most famous. movie you've never seen oh yeah it's definitely titanic yeah it's super titanic i've never seen titanic anyway uh ryan why don't you click now to the apple b's ad and watch it while we record your

reactions in real time do i have to do yeah is it okay hold on hold on hold on yeah you do is it possible for you to explain to me what the ad like and i'm not saying will you do this i'm saying do you think it can be done no because i wasn't lying about the very first part it's in TikTok form and none of us can explain the dances we're too old it's from a song by walker hayes who joins ham grunt and bert fordthop you made three of those up walker hayes is real ham grunt is the guy i've always said is the guest picker on game day every week because there's always some uh i put it in the chat for you ryan there's always some country singer on game day who they bring out and they're like sure who look it's thong brittorp this isn't even up to the level of like jean truck shorts cutie though so so the URL here includes viral fancy tic-tac song tick tock song and i'm hoping that it is rima mcintyre's fancy and that this is a story about somebody trying to like prostitute out their child at an apple

second question and i know i'm not in a position to say something that sounds like a joke but have you ever seen reba mcintyre's fredo's ad a long time ago i think yeah making sure yeah okay The viral chart topping, all right. Ryan, you reading this headline is pissing me off. That's how much I hate this commercial. Okay, all right. You saying the word fancy, my toes are curling. I'm so angry.

I cannot, I cannot overstate also. This is one of those things where the first time you're like, God, that's annoying. And then it plays in every commercial break for 12 hours. This was very much a volume of fence. Ryan, do you have cable or you're streaming? I'm streaming. Huh. And like, okay, wait, I'm on YouTube TV.

And I had gathered it's more prevalent. on on on on via streaming everybody everybody who said like well you must not be watching any games on es bn or fox and i'm like no that's i'm watching yeah i'm only watching cbssson yeah i was primary i was primarily watching fox and i saw it 12 times i'm a hipster i'm only watching this on the cbs sports network with it proudly employing houston nut for like eight years forever for eight years until he gets the yukon job It's like proudly enjoying DJ Durkin. It does do that. All right. I'm going to click play now.

It's 30 seconds long. I'm going to let you know when I pause it. It feels longer. Did we start the podcast today? Yeah. This is going to be the cold open, I suspect. Okay. All right.

I feel cold. All right. We'll see if Ryan can wait for the shockingly big butt on a man that pops up in this. There's a dude with some cakes. I was not prepared. I saw an athlete this weekend who has bigger cakes. The jeans guy? Yeah.

Yeah. I was unimpressed. You were unimpressed. Whoa. Standards for man cakes are higher than mine. This is nothing special there. Maybe it's the hip flexibility. I think what it is is it's the cowboy jeans, which leads you to think, oh, that's more than there should be there, which granted, yeah, but it's still not a lot.

Lion ass man, booty jeans. It's like seeing Hank Hill with any. Ryan's rubbing his forehead and he looks really tired. no he's screen cap it i have i have trouble yeah yeah you do have trouble because now we've passed this shit on so everyone has said this is a commercial but it is more um it is it is much more akin to like when you're in a jet blue plane and they have to show you like a little

advert advertisement or something it's like when the delta CEO comes out to talk about how, I don't know, they definitely didn't lay off all their staff during a pandemic. Or like taxi cab TV is what it reminds me of, where it's like, yes, a product or a business is named. And some of the things about those business are hinted at. But it just sort of like throwing, I guess the thing it reminds me most of is in the old NCAA games when it like cuts to a crowd shot. And it's just like, you know, pulling on white people holding up signs that are like beat them state or something like that you're like but it's just that it's like what if ncWA was just that i love it when a business gets to this stage applebees has no new customers

they're admitting that they don't have to advertise that they have food to people who have not heard of apple you're not going to applebees unless you have already entered that particular channel of personal damnation you're locked into the applebees lifestyle this is really just feel good advertising to reinforce and and fight away the guilt and the shame that you're you fail at going to Applebee's. That's what this is. Like, oh, that's the place with good times where I go and eat my sad riblets. I love the idea of giving up on replacing dead Applebee's customers, just fortifying the ones who are not yet. We're just building a moat around this sad cadre of people with their bodies. With good times and good vibes. That's what we're doing.

If you told me in a vacuum, somebody, if I was at a wedding or something dancing and somebody came up and said, you know what that reminds me of? The food at Applebee's, I would stop dancing. And I would feel that. I don't believe you. You have appeared on television as an onion that was fried. Why did Ryan just poop on the floor? Someone said this reminded him of Applebees. Apparently this whole thing was like they went on TikTok and they gathered some people were dancing to a country song by a man, which is the worst thing I've ever heard. A country song by a man dancing to it. Get that shit off my phone. But they just gathered it and posted it on TV. And now we all have to hear a country song by a man. also all football season can i say you said a country song by and i agree you shouldn't dance to it a country song by two men though one must dance to it because that would include brooks and duns boot scoot boogie sure no all of all of this is diseased and fallen get it all out of my sight i don't want

any of it heresy no it's it's oral gangrene now it's all got to go we cannot take any chances it's the only it's the only way to be sure i miss summertime love that's really that was good hoisted oh god yeah that's that should be a marker of what kind of time we're in get up get up okay i saw a florida athlete over the weekend who has the biggest but i have ever seen on a man who was that you know who i'm talking about who was that oh was this was was this the kid they were talking about or this is the kid they call big wiggle and i feel like that's not descriptive enough a nickname for him like if i were him I would be going by, like, Credenza.

Sure. I will get, I will, Desmond Watson. Desmond Credenza Watson. Desmond Watson. If you did not watch the game, you missed Desmond Watson. Desmond seats 12 Watson. Desmond Canyaro Watson. Desmond A380 Watson.

That's got a drop leaf butt. Yeah, but when you take the drop leaf out on the defensive tackle, you get Desmond Watson. Desmond Watson, by the way, is down to 400. He came in at 4. 80 got down to 432 oh that's right what class is he um i believe i think he's a freshman he's a freshman like your tiny room table at thanksgiving he's only gonna get bigger yeah so florida's got a 400 pound dude named him doesn't watson whose teammates have named him big wiggle big big wiggle the first

the first sentence that's because college kids don't know what sideboards are the first sentence of his 247 scouting report a large wide-hipped body that's well over 350 pounds house that's how you describe like a car and and his his player is he put him like next to a fiat his player comparison is terence cody oh so and he's i love terence and he's bigger than cody surprise he's bigger but the thing with cody was is that cody was big like his upper body was real big this dude it's cody had arms that were like 30 feet long yeah like He had Inspector Gadgett arms. He did.

I'm stuck on the Applebee's commercial, y'all. Oh, welcome back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you will be because it's not going anywhere. You're in it now. Yeah.

You've seen the ring. I think what is throwing me is that it makes me believe that there is that like we are in the upside down or in the parallel universe. Because I think for as much as people, you all and other people on Twitter seem to really dislike that this. clearly there are thousands of people who are like I love this Applebee's song and I love shaking my butt to it on the TikTok. I was just assuming this was the easiest way they could film a commercial around COVID because I got to feel that Applebee's are in a number of anti-vax hotspots.

This is the problem with you silent majority people. You're silent. You need to say this with your chest. No, you need to be more silent because being loud is how we got the song. Yeah, I would love this if this song was silent. No, they need to come out and say this with their chest so we can name you and shame you that if you're like hey i like walker truck faces apple bees wrap that's really what i want rappel rappel wrapel be oh my god if somebody dropped it listen i hate apple bees like really like i know that's not even being cool you're just like there's no reason for it to exist it's just not good

bubble sparks follows at least half of this show on twitter we can probably make that happen yeah but like if you named a mixed if you named a mixtape rappelbees i'd sure day one i'm going out and get my life is not better for having watched this yeah you're well i was i was really hoping that this was going to be like a so bad it's good or like what the fuck was happening here but now listening to me describe the plot of the movie titanic but no i like that jason jason you gave the best name for titanic i've ever heard which is to call it titanic titanic go ahead and refer to it yeah you did i like it but that's the way i'm going to call it from now on because I will never see it

and I will only refer to it as... That goes in the Spider-Man. Wait, server, have you seen it? Server is a yes. I have seen definitely half of it at least at times. You know what scene I have seen, though? Because it got shared on the internet

with big lulls and thumbs up is the scene where the guy's falling off of the stern of the ship and he clocks his head on the bar on the way down. That's the only part of like, actually based on what I've seen of Titanic, Titanic is metal as hell. It rocks.

I've seen a guy fall off the back of a sinking ship and crack his head on a brass brass railing with an amazing sound effect. Where were you when Titanic came out? I was not in the country. Okay. I feel like that probably, so how was this received abroad? Oh. What is your experience with Titanic as an expat?

As an expat. No, went off like a bomb, man. Everyone saw this movie. Okay. It was everywhere. and I like that song that is the only I have the weirdest relationship with that movie because that was one of two songs played the entire time I lived abroad one was that the other was believed by share so I had I was what it was like here too yeah so I was convinced by the way that America was going through the most like romantic tragic phase while I was gone right yeah and then I came back to realize it was actually just the first dot com boom and boy bands that it all like I came back and they were like back street I'm like I'm like I have no idea these men are why do they want it that way okay but you were teaching or you would have been teaching right right so yes so everybody that i taught when we played charades which is an old

ESL thing right they would always want to do titanic and i was like i kind of have a vague understanding of the plot of a movie so i'm pretty sure we could do charades but they'd baffle me because in pretty simple like middle school english which is much better than any of our like any of our American students Chinese, right? They would get up there and they would write, they would go, okay, movie, right? Movie, okay, they got that. Then

they would draw the waves. I'm just so glad that Spencer's decided to do charades on the podcast. I'm describing it. Then they would draw waves. Now usually, usually they would get to waves and somebody would say Titanic. They're like, okay, that's the only movie we've all seen this year. Right.

Fuck white squall. Right. under siege like two dudes in the back under siege so they would they would write waves and then everybody would kind of play along because they always wanted to get to this joke they would have they would draw a little sort of rectangle that looked like a door or a piece of wreckage right and then they would draw this gigantic fat lady on it they would draw like the biggest lady they would draw kate winslet it's like here's terence cody this titanic woman right they would just draw this enormous lady here and they would point to a go to the big lady this is the big lady the

big woman and they'd go yeah yeah okay okay next and every one of the class is cracking up at this point and then they would draw the scraughty stick figure sinking with X's over his eyes right and they would point to him and they would go skinny this is the skinny poor boy the skinny boy with no money the skinny boy just basically being like loser cold very icy cold very icy cold old loser boy. And then they would point to Kate Winslet. They would be like, selfish, this is a selfish fat lady. There is room.

There is so much room on that. She should move over. They've like summed up all of America. I can't see how that could possibly apply it in 2020. But the story of the movie, according to the two dudes who always did this in my class, and I would start packing up, was that Titanic was about, a lady who was thriving. It's about a girl boss who dominated the launch of her successful surviving the Titanic

business and kicked a skinny loser off of her business who she didn't need anymore. And we find that in the frame story, lived a long and fruitful life. He's Leonardo DiCaprio is the Winklevoss twins and the door's fate, the door's face. No, no, Ryan, Ryan, they could row boats. Welcome to the shutdown full cast. Got most of it out. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall, joined as always by my co-host Jason Kirk.

Jason, how are we doing, sir? So a couple of days ago, I was thinking about how, you know, everyone's really bummed out about everything for pretty justifiable reason. And I have a proposal for something that, you know, everyone could do kind of a group project, the whole world, really, almost the whole world, that I think would bring a lot of people together, which is, I think Joe Biden should announce that we are going to all of us together declare war on England, that we are, you know, our Irish allies are already swimming across storming the shitty beaches of England.

Our Scottish allies are hopping Hadrian's wall. And we're all going to liberate whales. We're just going to flatten England. No one needs it. No one likes it. It's trying to, you know, it's trying to eradicate itself. So why not? Ultimately, all the problems are their fault.

They started all this shit. I think they should rebrand. We even have our own Helen of Troy in Megan Markle. That's right. Or Harry. Yeah, we got them out. Yeah. And now leave nothing, leave nothing else.

Evac, Mary Berry, and I think we're good. Does John Boyega live in London? We should probably get him out to. That's it, though. He'll be fine. He'll make it off. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've seen him survive a nefarial attack before.

He survived Lucasville. So I guess he's fine. Yeah. We can also, by the way, make a test. You can get out of England if you can do five pull-ups. That way we get hairy, but we don't get William. The fitness comparison between the two of them is delightful. One got all of the conquering genes.

And the other one is William. I have friends who are way more into the whole Royals bit than I am, which is to say they are all the way into the Royals bit, and I am not at all. And they pointed out in this, in a group text, it was being passed around this, this magazine photo spread of, of Will and Kate through the years. And one of them pointed out something to me that I've never been able to unsee, which is that they got engaged right at the moment his hairline hit point of no return. Lock it in. The second that man's look started to go, he locked it down.

It's like the mountain climber game and Price is right. Like, stop. Yole, Airline. That's enough heiresses, buddy. Come on home. What? Do you think like Harry and Megan should adopt a college football team?

Like all, what if it was Arizona State? They're already stuck with Northwestern. No, they don't have to. No, nobody has to take UCLA. Sure. That's bandwagoning now. Yeah, it's UCLA.

Although that is incredibly English. It's like how much gatekeeping do you think is happening at UCLA? Hey, if you weren't here before, no one was here before. We saw the screenshots. Plenty of good seats available. This door is still open. If you weren't one of the 700 here to watch the Hawaii game. You might have some Maurice Jones Drew thoughts if you want to get to this tailgate, brother.

It's just like 300, but nobody died and you all went to in and out afterwards. It's called 30,000. 30,000. The race to 30,000 in the Rose Bowl. I it's an inclusive environment I have a question about William real quick by the way or any one of the royals what if one of them just started wearing a track suit a goatee like just like they could do who's stopping you

like you don't have to go out and a button down and some slacks you could just go out and you could embrace your inner chab and you could go out princess anne princess anne could pull that shit off sure she couldn't grow the stone cold goatee though I think I think the only thing stopping you is like intense emotional fear. As usual. I'm sorry.

Yeah, but I can wear a track suit. That's not going to endanger the inheritance. And if it does, I still want to get the lecture for my grandmother. You cannot wear a trach suit. I just want to be clear, you are mostly, you're most of the way to describing the plot of the film King Ralph. Oh, good. We've done two of these now. There we go.

Also better than Applebee's commercial. Peter O'Toole's in one. That's how you can tell it's good. There's a drunk driving segue here that I am not making. Thank you. Yeah. I'm not getting. Why don't we, yeah, why don't we get back to a unified path here and talk about 9-11 in Iowa?

Is that an official? That's not an official shirt. That's just somebody. Oh, of course it's not an official shirt. It is my understanding from the internet that it came from a sporting goods store that is local to the area that does have a license. okay yeah I am sure yeah because we were reminded

they did this 10 years ago so Iowa doesn't have a license would say a reputable established provider of quality apparel like home field no they do they do Iowa

Iowa and Iowa state both do never mind so they should have you seen Indiana's two tower shirts where the eyes form the home field apparel we won't do that So Iowa and Iowa State, a local retailer published or made a shirt that says like basically Iowa, Iowa, Iowa State, twin towers in between.

Some gave all. Some brought hot dish. Some brought delicious Ames water. Ames drinking water. It's just so it's it's simultaneously very subtle and very not. Like it's not willing to sort of go all the way and sort of be like, you know, sacrifice. for the team sacrifice for the you know it's not it's not willing to say like football in 9-11 they're the same thing but it's also yeah but it's got two unharmed towers on the shirt and nothing else yes it is yes it is also tasteless enough to make me wonder what it is positing like is this a shout

out to spider man to the sam ramy spider man too yes yes i think it's uh sort of a let's remember some things that happen on 9-11 there are many things there was 9-11 there's alaska it just there was a guy who bowled 300 about bill morrow jazzy's blueprint came out yeah litter came out um lots of but like in some room somewhere there was there were at least two people who sat down and said like all right let's talk about this 9-11 iowa iowa state design yeah a number of as we usually say in these times a number of people had to think this was a good idea so now i would see the version of They're like, no, Larry, we got to...

Come on, that's too far. The planes? That's too far. What did this pull back from? Yeah, guys, we don't even have a passing game. We can't put planes on the shirt. They wouldn't have pulled planes back for matters of taste. They would have pulled it back because the passing attacks of these teams are largely untested.

Also, Iowa's performance last week has ruined for us the other logical off ramp, which is to say, uh, 9 to 11 is the final score of the game. We're not being weird. The AP pull almost bailed this. out because they have ranked I think Iowa State is nine or maybe Iowa is 910 right 910

yeah 9 10 on 11 yeah the day we were warned sure is that worse what if it's the two towers from the Lord of the Rings film series and absolutely no reference to 9-11 whatsoever but the games being played on 9-11 and it's Orthank

and the other one Don't tell me. Don't at me and tell me what that is. I don't know. I just like that it implies that you're a designer as somebody who neither watches football nor the news for the past 25 years, but is only into Tolkien.

Hey, can you give us an Iowa Iowa State shirt? I think that describes a lot of Tolkien fans. Surrah, I can. Back to the Shire, to my studio. And I shall make you a shirt unparalleled in its greatness. there was actually a lot of shirt related like real quick can I point out a numerology thing here I run a Bible podcast so I would never stop you this game kicks off at 430 Eastern meaning of course that players will be warming up ready to compete around 420 on 9-11 okay all right

we're off to a good start there these two teams have played 67 times which means this will be the 68th rendition. Darn, we're so close, except, wait, 2020, game was canceled. This is the 69th edition of the Scihawk Elastico Ravelry

because last year was supposed to happen. And that's the best shirt they could do? Yeah. Yeah, they need to get 420 and 69. Now I'm disappointed for a completely different reason. Oh, oh my God.

It's going to be a really good game. Final score eight to eight. Eight. this is i was so hoping you were going to tell me the over under was 69 which let's say it is there that's that's the that's the that's the total for the series i was i was so mad on saturday when we didn't actually get a five three game like i thought we were we gave it a yeoman effort as a nation utah state and wazoo were so close to pull it off it's a real weird scoring game if you go look there's some real potential score got me there

By the way, shouts out to John Boyce. It was a great weekend to have John Boyce on Sports Center. It was. It was a great one because we came so close. But hey, Utah State, you did end up beating Wazoo. So thank you. I'm not going to take away credit there. Full credit for doing the thing you were supposed to do.

You gave him a good shot. Ha ha. I was going to say that we actually did have like t-shirt-related drama in the form of Ed O'Geron, telling a UCLA fan that he had a sissy shirt, which is the most high school bully thing I have ever heard that is the out of Ed no no oh I'm amazed he found the time where he should have been like poaching players who were evacuated by Ida sounds like he should have been prepared for a pack 12 team that couldn't get out of its way last year I feel like all right there's always a possibility um Ed just was uh offended by the concept of shirts you know like oh you're wearing a shirt right what are you a child yeah the strange thing in you know in addition to ascribing like toughness to colors like that's dumb to do so while

wearing purple right i was going to say not traditionally the butchist color yeah if we follow this antiquated understanding of gender down the primrose path uh sorry to trigger you with mention of pink there coach uh you you can't be the dude in royal purple hot at the dude and what is look it's a beautiful jersey when it's on the field but in like shirzy form UCLA blue is boring also like hey Oxford come down here with that fucking shambray the same way the sky is blue is coach out here talking shit to the sky okay he might I've read great mythology that does not end well didn't end well for him maybe that was what happened I also would point out that he can't be uncomfortable with color pink because I know that

man is at least 15% shrimp at least. Oh, like a flamingo. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. His plumage, his plumage really should be either a pink or pinkish red based on the shrimp and crawfish consumption. Now I'm imagining him saying, I don't poison. Now I'm imagining him saying Skrilla and Carybdis. I can't do it. That's an effeminate mineral to get poisoned with. Come on, Borrelium. Get in my bloodstream. No, barrel's a girl's name. I want weed dine poisoning on this team. Anyway, UCLA reminded, God damn it, I was just about to steer us back to clear air.

UCLA promptly reminded LSU that gender is a construct by laying a whole mess of points on their doorstep. Somebody ought to sweep that up. Something that's not a construct would be LSU's defense. God, they got pounded too. What I like is that LSU is currently in what is a very bad place to be as a college football team. It's okay to be a bad college football team. It happens and teams have bad years.

But where it starts to turn on you is where your famous former alumni are tweeting about you about how bad you are and why you are bad and like our break. Like I saw Honey Badger doing this where he was basically like, we suck this, we suck that. We're not teaching this. And it's like when you have a loss. those guys know about being a successful foot down yeah yeah yeah when when those guys are out there publicly lighting your ass on fire you are in a very bad part of the death spiral i feel like so miami is number one in this regard in the NFL alumni talking shit about their little tennessee is up there yes ls you that can get bad real fast yeah oh yeah because i'll tell you

that whole like hey listen uh louisiana we all have a good time and that's all great you notice there's no mention by the way in all of the exhortations and celebration of Louisiana culture about and you know what we're going to stick up for each other oh wait a second wait a second is he getting it done is he getting it done that's not because that's not exactly part of the code because here's my thing when when fans do this whatever fans are always cranky and fans always want to talk shit even ones you know a lot even if they're right you can sort of like do that but if this is what's happening to you from like well-known LSU former players on Twitter imagining what they're they're texting and calling the coaches with because they can do that.

I mean, I would put it this way. If I found out that an LSU player who really liked Ed Ogeron had also texted him a death threat midgame, I would believe that. And I'm sure the two of them would be like, you know, he just gets like that sometimes. Right, right. He gets hangary. I mean, Ed's used that excuse plenty of time.

So, you know, it's only fair. If you've ever listened to a Bobby A. Bear post game show. Yeah. I'm really glad those aren't recorded. Any LSU post game show has some of the most unhinged callers, but they're not loud and they're not super demonstrative. It's just like, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to burn down my house if this doesn't get better. I'm really am. And they're all like, true, true. That's just that's how it's going to be, y'all, I guess. Yeah, next caller. And they're like, I'm going to fix them to drive my truck into a lake. And they're like, mm, I've done that. Been there, brother.

Been there. I've got to fix that defense. Real quick, how many stops did the LSU defense get in the second. and half two one answer is zero yes shit I'm holding up the hand right I get credit for end end of game has one stop LSU's defense at zero in the second half of this game LSU I'm sorry are you telling me that an L a L S is in the pipes they got to call exterminators LSU got equally defensive coordinated by father time I've seen this movie oh man that is so so so so bad because yeah they didn't it wasn't even like big plays

they just held them down yeah yeah yeah with their tight end nickname glendale gronk which boy what a dangerous combination of words that is i do i do like that um that the passing line for ucla reads nine of 16 for 260 yards hey make it count as a then it could have been worse. It could have been worse. And also, your play action was like, your run game was so effective that when they hit play action,

the safeties were like, yeah, just the hook fully in the mouth every single time they play faked. I do also like a player named DTR because I don't actually like, one, I'm convinced. Do you know what that means? Dorian Thompson Robinson,

right? Okay. Okay. Okay. But DTR always makes, it sounds like they're being beat by some sort of obsolete video technology. I'm very fond of that, right? DTR for the win.

1983's best video standard. DTR. Wow. Wow. Now in nanny sound. It's only on one side. That is my first down sound and stating. Wow.

You're making that noise. I also wanted to say, though, that. Hey, at least LSU didn't lose to an FCS team. You'll want some FCS trivia? Oh, I do. I do. I got a little bit of this for you, a little bit because this is mainly my way of saying, do you remember what Washington had to hire an offensive coordinator when Chris Peterson left?

Mm-mm. Mm-hmm. Jimmy Lake had to hire an offensive coordinator. And he went out and got the man behind the most dynamic attack that he could remember at that moment. Penn State. 2015 Penn State. I was kidding. Is that really who he hired?

No, that's really who they went. That's crazy. Yeah. They went and got the worst coordinator in the recent history of Penn State football. They went and got John Donovan and John Donovan. Mike the board was right there. By the way, one of the first things that you see is was firing as a result from 2015, which was firing John Donovan the right decision?

Yeah, because he's about to get his next guy fired. Washington played Montana. Montana, they are in the Big Sky Conference. For the record, that is not an FBS conference. That is an FCS conference. And ended up losing the game 10 to 7. Yeah. Yeah, you lost to Montana, a big Sky team.

That is an FCS loss. I would have liked to have seen Montana. Which I will point out, I was listening to one of the forecasts I was not on recently. And Jason, like, Jason said, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I know. I know, no, no, no. You just dropped the veil. We're not moving on. I only did it the one time, okay?

You listen. No, no, no. You listen to the full cast? Just this one. What did you think? I won't listen to this one. What, no, but what do you think of the show? Well, what I was going to say is that, first of all, it flows much better with only three

people from being honest. And second of all, Jason, uh, Jason said to watch out for this game. I also went on several things into existence from this past week. Most of it was Jason. Yeah. I went on a show known as Split Zone Duo. I believe they cover either the NFL or the business of college basketball. It's a finance show.

And I mentioned that the Montana Grizzlies would defeat the Washington Huskies. Lo and behold, that has come to take, come to play. You also said that Illinois was going to, that Illinois, we were joking that Illinois was going to use to loot. utap and you were like they have UTSA before that yeah and low you did speak it into existence Illinois did the full I mean the line on that was like five it wasn't we're talking Illinois here not number 20 what would you do if you saw Illinois I'm sorry that's big 10 team of the week that's right that's right getting road run and still division leader getting motherfucking meet me could win the big 10 you guys meet meeped you did get me

Oh, God. This is imagining Brett Beelma is the world's slowest Wiley Coyote. It's a beautiful visual for me. I think he's more the thing they paint the tunnel on. Well, just let the roadrunner run into this belly. He has kind of ass-me colored.

He ran into the tunnel, even though it's not real. Maybe I'll try the same. Oh, no. Oh, my God. He does communicate mostly through letters. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is working.

Bilemon writing a letter to Jeff Long that just says bye signed Brett Bilema brain genius uh you did call that into reality I Jason as always is the Oracle uh how many other teams since 2007 have lost to an FCS squad a ranked a ranked FBS team to be so many of them did we graduate from oh you got FBS right I yeah Michigan James Madison Oregon State Iowa excellent yeah four that is correct Correct. And Washington. Yeah, this is the fifth loss by a ranked FBS team to an FCA. I say Virginia Tech to James Madison. Did I say James Madison? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, yes. Congratulations, JMU on the call-up. I just assumed that they had come in with Old Dominion and I hadn't seen it, but I was going to accept that as gospel. And by the way, I haven't, there's an attached question of this. It's not quite one of the losses to an FCS team. But God damn, it is close. What team sent its kicker out on fourth and goal late in the second quarter,

trailing 14-7 and then after booze rained down sent out its offense to go get that TD and then stalled out and missed out on three points it could have used and a 2221 loss to a non-power five team. Listen, nobody saw that. So Georgia Tech, they missed three field goals. This is probably why 22-21 that they missed three field goals. You're trying to tell me they were going to go for a fourth that would have won the game had they connected.

That's amazing. I Jeff Collins likes to talk a lot about how he how he's a teacher first and I believe him when he says that he thinks he's a teacher first. I may have some questions about his teaching. Sure. I like what is have we just been ignoring it because it's Georgia Tech is just kind of a hum in the background or is this an enormous. looming crater I think so like I feel like we're in year like 17 of like oh it takes a long year 17 of year zero yeah gutting of the de option like because like oh it's just completely for what and you win without paul johnson's players pitch it to guys who are running it's completely

unlike anything else anywhere else in college foot we're on like year 38 have given this guy mulligans for replacing an offense that already worked fine yeah it is sort of like this is the get good at Spanish on Duo Wingo of college football. And it's like, no, and then you lose to Temple. B.C. Claykta. B.C. Clayton. That's where you are a year later. George, I will say this. I respect that Georgia Tech was respectful enough of its fans to just get this out of the way. Because the extreme opposite of this, I would argue, was Virginia

Tech beating UNC, where it felt like most Virginia Tech fans were like, God damn. But now we have to think about keeping him. God damn it, we don't want him here anymore. Justin Fuente, why did you win? So speaking of Georgia Tech and speaking of going to schools that aren't smart, Georgia Tech this coming weekend plays your Kinnisaw State Owls. I saw that. That was like, it'll be two in a row.

The Flexpoen option office is coming back to Bobby Dodd Stadium. Maybe you can get a look at it. You know, you might like the look of it. Maybe you want to try it out sometime. That'll be another 85-year overhaul. these things just, oh my gosh, it's unbelievable how long it takes to replace like 260 pound lineman with 280 pound lime. It's, oh, my God. Let me show slowly carve out the grand candy.

This is like people who pretend that Kansas City and Memphis barbecue are different. Oh, like, how long does it take to gain 20 pounds? I mean, I can do that in a month. Come on, y'all. Listen, Georgia Tech. These are so fucking good at numbers. Add a thousand calories a day. Then press enter.

I know that there are several Z-grade Chinese restaurants surrounding that campus go there three times a day You're surrounded by waffle houses It's easy to be good at football This is a waffle home This is get everything

You need scattered smothered chunk everything Three eggs and the waffle I mean you got smothered by NIA you're one third of the way there At least you could be just proud and luxuriantly fat out out there just struggling and sweating our boys be like oh god our big sweaty thick boys out there you'll be fast and you'll be warm i know i'm so proud of them they're struggling they got

infected with that option thinness hey at least cuter than a fat beat at least n i u is in division one yeah they are they are d1 not everyone got to lose to an fbs team by the way holy cross holy cross managed to beat yukon and you know what count it i don't care holy cross you get to count that because that is an FBS team, even if it is Yukon, who had their coach retire immediately after the game, but say he was going to finish. And then the next day, 24 hours later, they came out

and said, by the way, he's not finishing. We're not going to let him do that. On the other hand, we don't even want him to stick around that long. Something not a lot of people seem to be remembering is that this is the second time this has happened to Ransey Edsel, sort of. Do you remember him calling Maryland his dream job? Do you remember what happened after that?

Yeah, you got, you got can. People wake up. dreams die yeah jason had the best phrase sometimes dreams get weird that is i cannot think of another coach who voluntarily left his school as a head coach and also later got fired as as a head coach by the same school like that's a very rare double to pull off we're going to make it work we're going to come back together and you got kicked out boy you got you got the boot it's rough yeah i don't know i mean i feel like he's crafted such a confusing narrative that I think if he were to say, I resigned, people would say, maybe.

Fine. Like, you know what, fine. I'm tired. Just leave. Whatever you want to call it. Jason, in your column on from the wind, you had the funniest phrase of the weekend, which was the Yukon Truthers. The Yukon fist praise truthers, I think, was the exact.

Yeah, there was a viral Yukon video where it was like, Yukon catch the fever and it was like an assistant coach trying to get everyone to break down a huddle. Fist in the middle, row, right, right, let's go. It's fourth quartered it down by 10 points to a not good FCS team and no one's really participating. A

Yukon account that is really fucking fired out. Part of the handle is fifth borough as in like Yukon is part of New York, I guess. Wow. Wait. How many boroughs are? Six borough. Never mind. Whatever it is. No, it's the five boroughs. Yeah. Okay. So this is even more confusing.

got it but yeah this account chucked statin island out of the pain this Yukon fan account posts a longer video and it's like

see they're all bought in and it's like I see a kid smiling sure but yeah there are uh Yukon huddle breakdown truthers we're fucking back baby

college football is back there's that was that was to go with the the guy who said hey I know that dropped past by Notre Dame that was Bowden that did it that was Bobby

that's just a Bobby out there in time that tweet the ghost of Bobby also deleted it like five minutes after a 60 yard bomb on the defense where you're like Bobby let a man get past him don't never let the man get deep because if he's even he's leaving Bobby Bobby didn't plan his feet because he's incorporeal yeah your footwork tends to suffer when one has no feet once you just kind of or a floaty, uh, the pajama night shirt. Uh, yeah, that, um, that being followed by a wide left was, that was a moment of the week. Bobby is indeed. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, you're home, Bobby. We feel you in this place. Just a word to mention that Mike Norville really did ICE's own kicker who

hit a 50-yarder on the first attempt and then got 15 yards and missed the shorter attempt. Oh, God. Okay. So the Holy Cross did beat Yukon. They have beaten three other teams in FBS as an FCS member. All right. They did drop from FBS to FBS in the 80s. But since then, they've beaten three teams, three teams.

Do you know who they are? How many of them are there? Temple. That's a good guess. UMass hasn't been up there long enough. No. No. it would be holy cross has defeated army three times okay they hate the troops yeah that's

86 87 yeah yeah like there's that's the most crusades rivalry I have ever heard holy cross an army constantine's ear just per cut um there was a an SEC FCC upset technically can I can before you get into this I listen I have not lived here nearly as long as Godfrey, and I do not have the same network he does. So maybe he will have something more learned to say about this. But Vanderbilt getting fucking stomped by ETSU, this is the first time that I have heard strangers, like in the grocery store or at the park or whatever, talking about Vanderbilt football the week after a game. I haven't heard of, oh, they were like, did y'all see what happened to Van like? They talked about it as if Vanderbilt stumbled out of a van nude on to lower Broadway.

That's more of a Belmont thing, but yeah. It was, it's the, I swear, I have never heard anyone utter a peep about Vanderbilt football in the like two years I've been here. And multiple people, people who did not like appear to care about football at all were like, did you all? Did you see, did you see what happened? That's good for branding, you're saying. it's that listen the word is out on vanderbilt football and holly and i were playing this game on saturday night um how much do you think a ticket the cheapest ticket to vanderbilt stanford is right now on stephub i'm going to sit this one out because i helped make the game

is it over a dollar it is over a dollar yes i'm going to go five months okay it's it's six i'm holding at one dollar it's six dollars now how much how much do you think parking costs there we go. $35.25. $40. That's just because Vanderbilt has such a vibrant game day tailgating scene. You're paying for the experience. This is the green new new deal. Okay. If you're going to pay. That's going to make them matter than anything. We're going to tax Vanderbilt football's carbon footprint out of existence. AOC just stands for anchor of Commodores. baby the stupidest arbitrage economy ever created all right so i'm going to get parking passes then i got tickets for six and then there's profit at the end of this i'll get there like

i just love to be near vanderbilt football just near it it's like paying vanderbilt football proximity it's like paying eight hundred dollars to fly to paris and be like all right we're making one trip to mcdonalds and that's it we're turning right back around that's actually that if I was a billionaire that's the type of shit you can yeah like I just sampling you know this got a really good RV is probably Slovakia let's give it a show yeah I'm going to the Burger King in Seoul that's what we're going to do so yeah I'm sorry uh you were going to say that Vanderbilt lost the ETSC what was the final 23 to 3 23 to 3 fuck I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna quote her Taranoka say this once darinoka said it's never good when we're putting

together the highlights and the only thing we have to show you is a field goal like if they're like second quarter field goal if you see that and that's your team jump out the nearest window you don't want to see what's happening next um the good news is based on what i can tell vanderbilt fans are very ready to put all of their problems on derrick mason for a long time for a long long time yeah could have foreseen that yeah so so good start good start that the 23 to 3 I use the term loosely upset who was the last fbs team that east Tennessee state upset the last one was it us you'll hear it you'll go oh yeah that makes sense um that's a good guess but no MTSU it is a power five school oh it's

power five school. Oh. Was it us? Yeah, but you'll hear it and go. No, it was not Tennessee. Okay. It was NC State in 1987. Yeah. No. 29. 14. Oh, no. I told you it would make sense, right? Fuck. This one's pretty easy. There was another completely lopsided FCS, FBS game. You have to, it's not a power five school. So we might not have thought about it this way. That would be South Dakota State. rabbits defeating Colorado State, coached by the immortal Steve Adazio, just dudes, dudes losing to vermin, dudes losing to rodents.

Are you calling him immortal because he kind of looks like Frankenstein's monster? Or is it because we can't get rid of him? Yeah, immortal like a cockroach. He's up in the mountains. He's literally got a fort. He's occupied Fort Collins. You're not going to get him out for several winters until you starve him out. I don't know if he'll be there for several winters.

football seasons happen in winter. Losing to the Jacks, baby. They are very good. That's a way to make it one winter. I don't think it's losing to the Jacks. I think it's getting housed by the Jacks. You know, you walked in. These are comparable football teams, all right?

Yeah. But you got to be competitive. Yeah. No, they got, they got slammed. 42, 23 at home. Who was the last FBS team? The Jackrabbits upset. I don't know if upsets the word here.

Kansas? Kansas, I want to. That is correct. That is correct. Kansas in the game where Kansas fucked up a snap, I believe. On a field goal or an extra point or something. I think it was even dumber than that. I think they were trying to clock it and they fucked up the snap.

Something like that. This is why I'm not mad at Kansas for rushing the field after beating South Dakota. Like, fuck that. No, we did not see that coming. You have finally defeated a Dakota. Winning in week one is much better than not winning in week one. That's all it comes down to. Storm the field every fucking game.

Storm is there field. gives it's fine storm all fields is what they're for my name tag doesn't say emily post you go do what you want to you want to go out there and burn the field after every game i don't care the fucking field every kid dismantled the stadium like the bastille when you beat south i'm here come to jhoff salting the field after they're tear apart the entire fucking stadium and rebuild it first born that's a bit extreme you know what that proves you're rich if you tear down stadium and rebuilding, that proves your rich. Texas? You're giving them ideas.

Texas, listen up. Yeah. That's how we do shit here in the SEC, Longhorns. That way, Longhorn cookie cutter, you put in your stadium, you need to rebuild it every week. Rebuild the whole damn stadium. You ain't rich enough to do that. I bet you're not rich enough. I bet you don't have the money. I bet you can't

do it, poor folks. Sir. Longhorns are too poor to slide their giant end zone Longhorn one foot to the left, so it's centered. Two poor. That's why that's why they're absolutely insane here comes peru pete with his with his giant hammer just take it down the stadium piece by piece just upsetting with his dead eyes look at him work he never sleeps um he's seriously he's like a nerd gallum just math uh this one i don't believe in osha here

i go the the scariest one to me i thought i would just get a couple of these and And I am astonished. Northern Iowa, Northern Iowa did not win in their bid to upset Iowa State. That would be top 10 team, Iowa State. They did push them to the breaking point, though, in a 1610 win over UNI. How many times has Northern Iowa actually gotten it done? How many times against an FBS team? Against an FBS team. How many times have they gotten it done in their history? twice they're good but i'm not recalling any yeah it feels like they there's a lot of close but not quite uh holly said twice holly said twice i'll say four you say four jason i'll say zero i mean that's no disrespect i just can't recall any it is disrespect because they've done it 12 times wow

12 times when everybody just i want you to now i have to read them because the laughter will intensify as I repeat a certain team over and over again. Oh dear. 2016 against Iowa State, 2013 against Iowa State, 2007 against Iowa State, 2001 against Ball State, 1999 over Ohio, 1998 against EMU. I'd almost not count that one. 94 against Iowa State, 92 against Iowa State. And then 89 against Kansas State, 86 against Kansas State, 85 against Kansas State. And 85, they did it against then FBS, Illinois State, who later dropped. So we have to count that one. But 12, 12 times total, you and I has come away with the head of an FBS team. Don't apologize. This is to Northern Illinois. And that is awesome scheduling.

Listen to when they're catching those teams. Listen to when they're catching those teams, though. You got pre-K state, Bill Snyder. You got Ohio before, say, 15 years ago, like, these are some dregs iowa state before like 17 minutes ago when they got pretty good listen you know that dog who goes door to door or the horse that goes door to door and it was there's a story about it in a french hospital there's a horse that goes door to door terminally ill patients and like you know goes and like sits with them and then like later that patient dies because i don't know the horse is like the angel of death and it's like you may go now northern iowa is the horse that shows up at your door at the hospital don't let it in

because because if they're like hey we should play we should totally play a football That's not a good indicator for the health of your program. Northern Iowa, surprisingly, not a home field school. But big new Saturday is still going on, so maybe, maybe, could be. What's this week's big new Saturday? They're taking this week off. But we just got North Carolina, which is proof that North Carolina, who took last week off? Yep, Homefield Magic.

If you had Homefield before last week, North Carolina, This might have gone different. That's right. That's right. It needs time to work, idiots. Homefield apparel.com, home to the best, most comfortable, most beautiful looking college apparel you can find T-shirts, sweatshirts, tank tops, occasional pants. And I got to tell you, I do not know what the weather is like in Georgia, but it is like

you can start to feel in Tennessee. It's starting to get here. We're slowly approaching. hoodie weather. Yeah, it's down to 85. I made soup. It's good. I'm very excited about it. It's, I'm probably due for a re-up pretty soon because I got to, I got to get some more, I got to get some more homefield sweat sweaters to wear. Drop the sweaters. Oh, field cable nits. Get me in the home field. Outfitting the crustiest fisherman of Nova Scotia. Give me leggings. Give us leggings. It's just box.

Boston College, that's it. Boston College gets sweaters. Nobody else. You use offer code fullcast. You get 20% off your first order. And did any, are any, did any of the Boise State stuff? I am still, I still have not worn all of my Tennessee shirts that I'm wearing one right now with Smokey the dog on it. It says Smokey. I just really like that you can get a shirt from Homefield. that says in larger letters than Boise State, T-Dog, like, yes, it sends a message. I need to get the real star is here. Yep. Yeah, I need to get the U-dub Sunducker shirt. I need to get the fancy lad. The Sun Ducker would be amazing, but the Sun Dodger.

Sun Dodger, yes. All right, you can reach Spencer at. Sun Dodger. The Sun Dodgers. That's fine. Sun Ducker is my favorite death heaven album. Yeah, that's when the alliance forces Washington and Oregon to merge. The ultimate vitamin D deficient fan base.

This is also probably a good point to just slowly point out like, hey, Oregon barely be at Fresno State. And it's only thanks to that that the Pact 12 North did not go winless on opening week. Yeah, what division would do that? So Oregon's in really good shape, right? Yeah, Oregon's fine. Oregon's championship hopes are going really great. And they'll probably hold up for at least another three days as of this.

Look fucking awesome. Not a problem. Kvon, Tibado, definitely not injured. Nope. Offense definitely looks good. Hey, did you see who UCLA plays next? No. Fresno State.

Whoops. Wow, that's a Pack 12 championship right there. Two best West Coast teams. The Gates to the West. Pass through Fresno We can use this as a transition point Eventually talk about acorns Because Stanford is the trees

But man Stanford just so many punts In opponent territory In a non-conference game that was close Where in theory like after last year You think like I don't know Maybe get a little loose with him Not David's shot

And Georgia punted in an opponent territory It worked out okay for them That's true I guess Stanford and Clemson are based in the same spot right now. Georgia had to get their offense back on the field. Yeah, Stanford and Clemson both lost to top-notch Power 5 opponents and still have all their goals on the table conference championship. Heisman, you know, make the playoff.

Yeah, Stanford Clemson, same school in all ways, in all regards. Academics. No questions asked. Other than the tree thing, which, yeah, Sanford's got a tree, and that's an excuse for us to talk about acorns. You know who else has a tree? You know who else has a tree? Nope.

Acorns. There it is. How it works. Throw it down. Throw it down. Jason filling in for Spencer today. Thank you. How it works is you go to acorns.com slash fullcast.

Once you do that and you complete the recommendation. Steps, you will receive $5 in the account that goes with the app you download. Then you tell the app to do certain things, such as taking money from your bank account and putting it into the market. And then as you do that, how it works is the number in your app increases. As that increases, the date of your retirement draws nigh, further and further nigh. So simply downloading this app means you have fewer days to work here on this earth. It's acorns.com slash fullcast. My retirement.

It's nearly done. I'm thinking about good. I'm going to mid-program. I'm done. I'm pulling Randy Edsel. I'm out of here. I think I'm good. I'd like to finish the show.

You may not finish the show. You may not. I'd like to tag in server in my spot. But now. Now isn't that's happening. One correction on my part. Big important difference between Stanford and Clemson. Stanford ran for 39 yards on 22 carries. Spencer and Holly, how many yards did

Clemson run for? Two. Four? Sorry, I respect Clemson too much. You do. You do. They ran for one generously sized adult. They didn't even run for a Godfrey. They didn't even run for a Godfrey. Oh my God, this is the new thing. Did you run for a Godfrey? they didn't run for a godfrey they didn't get they didn't average over five yards of pass they didn't score a TD they didn't move the ball sideways forward or down the field that is also a lot of sideways there wasn't much productive sideways there wasn't a whole lot of sideways and then forward right like they were like oh let's try the perimeter oh boy that didn't work either it's bad over there too it's bad it was like it was

Watching them test, you could see, they were like, maybe this part of the soup is it hot. Oh. The raptor testing the fence. It turns out there are no weaknesses. So you just had a really bad day. Good fence. Real good fence. I'm very impressed by the fence.

These are lively today. Goodness. Hey, whoever built this fence, you should hire this person again. It was to be clear, in this version, all the dinosaurs at Jurassic Park or Christian. Well, they already were, Ryan. They were made by Jesus. So.

Yeah, by the way, the lead, the lead right now as it stands for my embezzling younger son over my believe in the rules, follow the line. Older son. Mr. I'm going to take it is now $74 a head. I check that out. I did see several people wondering why the math is inconsistent. One, that's because it's me. But two, also finance is a game of flows. It does ebb and it does flow.

And right now, it's flown a little bit his way. Shit, he can get five tickets in parking to the Vandy game. Knowing him, he figured out the arbitrage that I can't figure out between Vandy parking, the most valuable thing in Vanderbilt Athletics and the ticket, the least valuable thing. Why don't they make the whole football program out of parking? Do you think so like every every sports fan sort of does this thing where it's like why doesn't the SEC just kick out Vanderbilt and add anyone? Well here's the answer like somewhere in SEC headquarters there's like a fail safe that's like don't fire them to lose access to their parking revenue. I love the I love the implication though that the market is perfect because it says that the market is saying what people want to do most and the most valuable thing is to go park in a Vanderbilt game and then boo from the parking lot because no, wants the ticket. So if they go to the game, they tailgate, they boo, but they do not view the game. They just like to congregate without the football, which I think sounds like a really

efficient way of enjoying Vanderbilt football. None of the pain, all of the socializing. Yeah, everyone loves to hang out with Vanderbilt alumni. Definitely. Hey, Chris. What's up, Chris? How are you doing? Can I change the subject briefly to Miami football? Always. It's a good time for that holly went no and then yes so i'm very excited to see how this is going to go uh i want to first of all miami lost alabama if that is news to you because you didn't watch the game that's fine if that is news to you because it's surprising you should see a doctor i went back through i did 2008 through 2019 obviously bama didn't play a non-conference opener or opener ish i say that because there are a couple pence state games here that are in week two and i looked at all the opponents

Bama played and beat in those years and what happened next. And there's good news and bad news. The good news is this, from 2008 to 2019, only one team after getting beat by Bama in week one or occasionally in week two lost its next game. Most of these teams go on and they like beat, you know, sometimes they're playing a max school that they should beat handily. Sometimes they're playing somebody a little better than that. But most of the time you win. It's not like this lingering effect that like carries over into the next week the one exception is 2017 Florida State entered the Bama game I think ranked number two and then lost to NC State the next week after they lost to Bama some injury stuff in there as well so maybe maybe not perfect so that's

the goodness for Miami is you're probably not going to lose to App State your next I mean I think that they've had some defensive teams that ended up having really like USC ended up up being 10 and 2 and going to the Rose Bowl. So that's the bad news part is that, yes, there are some. There's, there's, there's, there's that USC Roseville team in 2016. There's a Virginia Tech team that ended up going, when like 10 or 11 games, there's a Wisconsin team that did pretty well. But most of the time, the average right now is that after you lose to Bamar, so you already

got one loss, you're going to lose four or five more after that. So that is potentially on the table for Miami now. now is, I don't know, seven, five, six and six. I don't think that's going to happen because I think Miami is better than some of these teams out here, but also that would be very funny to me personally. So I'm going to put it out there into the universe and hope that the full cast magic does its evil thing. I mean, they play upstate next.

And then they get Michigan State on the 18th. Who looked very frisky against Northwestern. Yeah, that did not look like. an unchallenging team. That did not look like a layup for anyone. No. No. No. Um, they do play somebody called Central Connecticut State. I am going to go ahead and just say that might be the Bishop Sycamore game. I don't know this school. I have never heard of it. They are sub FCS. Like I don't. Other FCS. Okay. So just Randy, does Randy Edsel coach them as well? yes that's it will he be coaching them by then it's his brother andy redsel

that's how brothers work right that's you take you take a really crappy alias and that's how you become someone's brother you have brothers you know that's not how this works the u is back they could be you know they could be like two and two going into hardcore acc conference play there yeah so looking at uh just to pick a random style looking at the massy ratings uh miami's highest expectation in any fbs game highest win um likelihood in any fbs game remaining is all of 62 percent against who georgia tech or or duke was the only was the other one i was going to get wow dude Miami is at duke and that is a mere 52 percent wow massy is down on the canes down on the canes all right i mean well

Let's flip over to FPI real quick because they got the win projections. Let's see here. God, sorry, FBI has the Keynes going, went in between seven and eight games. Let's see here. Let's just really what team rankings is working is. The team rankings agrees between seven and eight wins for the canes. This is hurting Bama's playoff case. Thanks.

They should do that. Like Nick should send a letter like two months out of the season to be like, thanks for nothing, Manny Diaz. We're never doing this again. We're weak. They are. They're finally done with the neutral site shit. This is it.

It's done. Yeah, it's the final one. It is. The next one is like a home and home with Texas, I think. But like the stupid neutral site thing where every year we're like, why did these idiots agree to this? Finally, the idiots are done agreeing to this. Actually, it was like, Bama was like, no, we want people to attend games in our stadium.

but no one's lining up to take this weapon you got to come you got to come to club t-town on the side on the plus side now we got to see a louisville dog at at mercedes ben stadium watching movle gets fucking trashed by old mess it's oh god the mac corral show is so good it is so good he does every i like the people were like how did how did somebody get a dog into the stadium. And my thing is like, how did a Louisville fan will themselves into turning into a dog so they could stop comprehending their football team? I can't watch this anymore. Transmogrify. The weirdest animorph story ever. What's your origin story? Well, I went to a game. Louisville fan, just a regular dog. That's Papa John. That's the only way he can get into a Louisville game now. It's the morphed

his animal form of shaggy adorable dog that is that game everything matt corral does is irritating to a defense even the way he slides he slides real late and with his head kind of up as if optimally designed to draw targeting fouls you can't coach that you can't legally legally you can't coach that like in addition to being a really great quarterback he's phenomenal like everything ball placement uh reading working well within that system like he's a good runner i don't really know his only weakness is bravado that's it like he's going to have a game this year where he throws five picks just wait for it said weakness yeah yeah i guess in college i'm going to go ahead and say that's fine that's totally fine he can also get two defenders thrown out

on a single play as he nearly did by drawing with Louisville who I don't know like I know it's hard to tackle a guy with his head up like that like that's very very difficult but at the same time Louisville seemed bent on going face first into everything in the game like in lieu of actually competing or playing all of their defenders just went crown first to whatever was in front of them yeah you do you do it enough times and then they don't have a defense which I mean it's almost Louisville nobody has on anyway so yeah Yeah, and that's how you allow 40 points to hold this on opening night. And then you get middle linebacker, Louisville dog in the stance. I'm over here, guys. I'm a dog now. It's great. You should all get ejected and come over here. Just turning into poker dogs just over there, smoking cigars, playing poker.

I did also want to talk about one more one more game on the schedule if we could and that would be the Florida game because yeah no no no I really want to actually like Anthony Richardson like it's good it's so hard I it's so hard to not actually say that we have a quarterback problem you don't have a all right we don't have to Dan mullen's right you don't have a quarterback problem yeah however yeah however we have however we have to get them both on the field at the same time because one of them uh jumped a dude and i don't care if it was florid atlantic he said he was going to do it and he did it and when you do that there's everyone in the fan base sane or not is going to be like we can be started that guy we could be starting that guy now mullin's thing is that he says he can't operate the offense yet meaning he misses basic checks he's probably not seeing like where to slide protections

and all of the things that i think you should i think that makes a stronger case for starting him he's like you got to rely on your gift son go on out there what what week do we play this year yeah that's i think we're coming up in two shit i think we got two weeks until tennessee and florida well listen we couldn't pass on bowling green so hunker the fuck down now it's time for pet tennessee pit no spencer you got to play by alaband my first. Holly, did you see who like the honorary captain is going to be for

the Tennessee pick game? Yep. Okay. Who's it going to be? Jackie Cheryl. Honestly, can he give the pregame talk? We might could use it. Let's see.

I'm going to castrate this live panther for you. Fine. Isn't that our mascot Jackie? Kids, you ever seen an eagle get de-beaked, line up. I'm going to debone this graduate assistant right here. God, that's

gory. Coach boned and debone mean the same thing. I'm going to make this pencil disappear. I'm hiring, boys. Snap's pool cue. Yeah, Joe Milton. Joe Milton only has

on the video game console, his button says hard pass. That's it. Hard pass. It reminded me strong pass they reminded me of ang actually where it's it's either going it's either going to hit your receiver in the numbers or it's going to leave a smoking hole to the chest of somebody in the front row and there is no third option but in joe milton's defense when in his college career would he ever have had the opportunity to receive quarterback coaching fair before now fair where was he before just where where i don't know spencer we don't explain the plot So he's going to be facing Pitt and Pat Narduzzi, who Pat Narduzzi, who has, if the two hemispheres of his brain were offensive and defensive, right side, a shriveled prune, a tiny little dim pulse, only indicating that it was alive. The left side, the defensive side of the brain, massive, huge, grandiose, overdeveloped, crackling with the electricity of knowledge. it's going to put Joe Melton into some sort of

like phantom zone type state where he is not going to know what he's looking at at all it's going to be bad real bad can I bring up a football game please

the Mercer Bears in week week one they face Point University in NAAA school Point University their name was a lot They recorded zero of them.

Mercer, of course, put up 69, missing a kick, and then their kicker posted, had to take one for the team. So basically the perfect day of football for Mercer, played a completely unqualified opponent and won by the nicest score of all. Week two, they go from playing an NAA team to Alabama. I mean, I can't imagine. Now you're going to take several for the team.

yeah yeah yeah hope you hope you liked scoring points just like what an experience for mercer to go i hope i mean can they i don't know if anyone who's ever done that can they become the first team to score 69 and then allow 69 in the subsequent game lane kiffin's definitely done that before like this is all lane kiffin doesn't madden every night why'd you run out of bounds on that two point conversion you know you know you know you know there's an awful lot of dudes chuckling at this

at this every time it happens who I'm positive have never gone down on a single fucking person I just want to say that is it so nice is it Chris I believe y'all I believe in the master bears

all right no I've read my boyfriend friend is a bear the comic so you should you should have to get like you should have to have like a current or former sexual partner certify you before you can make the nice story like somebody somebody should just have like a wristband you should have a wristband right like it's sort of like like yes i can confirm this person yeah mm-hmm yep an affidit it yep that's what it is