Shutdown Fullcast - WELCOME TO THE SUN HOLE

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

Vandy's geographical vulnerabilities are examined A colonoscopy PSA as only the Fullcast can execute it Ryan and Jason fix Twitter Holly is lost in her own web of superstitions A new perspective on unranked Kansas Spencer offers up a bold new strategy of inbox management Shower apples, again A Utah fan delivers a reassuring message about nuclear fallout Introducing: Mike Gundy, Xenomorph Alchemist New inventions this week: the Empress Josephine Nacho Tray, Baba Yaga Resort Wear PLUS! More of YOUR heartfelt messages to the Shutdown Fullcast Feelingsball Hotline Visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are in any way better off than Nebraska, I don't give you much problems. I don't care what they are. We did have a Rutgers guy calling in lamenting the extension of their 153-year title drought. I think if you invented this for it, never won at it, you might have. I like it when basically your national year. There's three and one. It's, you're not out of this. I know, this is why this is funny.

This is called on the drive home. It was like, I'm depressed. But when your program myths are approximating like Serbian nationalism, like back, back centuries to when we were great. You're like, no, literally, in Rutgers case, that is close to true. Sure, they barely beat Boston College and Pimple, and they lost to the team that doesn't offense. But beat Ohio State and they're right back in it. That's all. That would be really funny, though.

Like, right? Shiano's Riven. Screamingly funny Because like, if he's like The whole game plan is like Go ahead I was gonna say any other team in the Big Ten Could beat Ohio State

And you can sort of like if Illinois beat Ohio State you'd just be like well I guess Big Bert just controlled the clock It's happened before Sure right you can you can you can It's a narrow path but you can get there But Rocker's beating Ohio State the juice is loose again Illinois it's like well they have a

Trophy and everything. Illinois just, Illinois wanted that turtle real bad. Rutgers is like, wait, we didn't mean to actually invite you to our conference. Yeah. Is the show already started? Ruckers would never shut up if they beat Ohio State. And why should they? Nor should they.

No, never. Also, Greg Chiano making a game plan specifically tailored to exploit many of the players that he himself had coached is a delightful twist to fate. if he'd go in yeah i know that linebacker he's shit he can't play run around against him who recruited that guy never mind who taught him how to chase a slot receiver the other one the other guy did not me this is don't ever like we players players are like 98% of the game and the proof of that is that ohio state until very recently was still starting a slow 1998 linebacker against slot receivers. Like for real, for real, they had Tough Borland out there like he was Andy Katzen Boyer. You can't have Tough Borland and not play him. His name's Tough Borland. You don't have

to play him there. You don't have to play him in the slot. He's Super Shredder Al Borland. You have to play him. Yeah, you line him up at full back. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You bring him in on goal line packages. You make sure that he's with in five yards. Son, how would you like to be a blocking tight end. I want mega Al-Borland E.X running three yards straight. I don't want him turning in any direction. No. Super-Sahian

Borland. You don't want to create the hilarious scenario of I have tough Borland lined up against Devante Smith. Something that sounds like a joke, but which happened repeatedly. Fuck, I forgot about that one. In a playoff game. Yes.

Don't make Roger Sherman demand the creation of a highlight reel of his failures in that game set to that's tough over and over again they put wario al boiland on the heisman mhm tough tough that guy's great he's named tough i guarantee you that was the tipping point too he's he's not called agile boarland no what about fast borland can you go get fast borland for us nimble borland yeah okay that's actually a great name Welcome to the shutdown Welcome to the shutdown full cast.

You are listening to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. Joining me as always on this here program. Ryan Nanny, live from the former football capital, the week two football capital of the college football universe, Nashville. Fandy's coming down to Earth a little bit, finally learning some humility.

Well, Earth is at sea level. Some of it. Yeah. The Commodore is attempted to go more than 10 feet. I do... What if we say sea is at Earth level? Does that track? Technically, that's always true.

Right. Yeah, but does this... So everything's fine. Yep. I mean, Nashville is certainly at sea level. We've learned that before. Do Commodore is just generally as a mythical figure? Are they like...

You know they're not mythical, right? You know that they're... No, no, you got to see where I'm going with this. Yeah. Let's see what happens. First of all, the band is. was real. Okay.

Yep. The band is very real. And mythical at the same time. Commodore Perry, whose powers were activated by Earth's yellow sun. Yes. But if they took him, if they take a Commodore far away from the ocean, do they become weaker and weaker? For instance, Vanderbilt, would they be at their weakest playing in Provo? Would they be at their weakest playing, you know, in Colorado State?

That's why they look so good in Hawaii. Absolutely. Because it's like basically playing in the ocean. But they beat Colorado State. Barely, and that was a bad Colorado State team. I'm sorry, you said Colorado State. Historically speaking, the bad is not necessary. What about now?

Oh, gosh. Better one or two. Okay. It is our favorite home field shirt, but I'm wondering now that that ruin might mean something. That ruin might have, did we open a portal with our delicious fleece-covered chests? not as sexy as it sounds delicious that really threw me there it's a squishy it's the squishiest sweatshirt i think the most inland team that vandy has played as kansas state and vandy is two and oh so wow so was maybe maybe it's that vandy either plays really well when they're close to the sea

because that feels like home or when they're super far from the sea because they're desperate to get back to the ocean it's the in-between it's the Like, Tuscaloosa is not close to the ocean, but it's not like the furthest you can get either. It's kind of a weird in between. And unfortunately, a lot of the SEC is the weird of between. That's the main problem with Fandy is a lot of it is close to either an ocean or a river. But, yeah. Once you get them far away, it's kind of like a really angry beached whale.

I don't know how whales act on the beach, but there's that. That does seem like explosions are kind of anger. So, yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, so they need, so in conclusion, Vanderbilt should only play Nebraska or the Bahamas Bowl. Playing Nebraska as often as possible is a good idea. Yeah. You know in Super Mario Odyssey when he goes to Lake Bubblane and he fights that giant octopus with a crown? Sure.

And a cave and like an ermine cape. Is that a Commodore? It is now if you, I mean, they're mythical creatures, so it can be whatever you want it to be. There are many interpretations. I also like that we are the three voices of Ryan Nanny. We are his aspects. in ego and super ego I'm a unitarian

I think there's only we're all just one the same Ryan Nanny there is no no need for all this math it's cozy in here at one point by the way Mr. Commodore

Vanderbilt just charge Spitz right's going where it's going he said I hear what you're saying but fuck all that shit was named the sexiest mascot

by men which men well of course who else gets to decide god god that's upset it's about time i'm gonna write to people's magazine

god presents his are these god's sexiest men alive did you make god's maximum 100 can i can i tell you the man that god thinks is the sexiest man alive or dead but now alive 85% of these respondents, by the way, were heterosexual males. So that means that dudes were like, yeah, you know who's hot?

A rich guy in a uniform. That's not troubling at all. A guy who looks like he's fighting a war that ended long ago is my idea of... If you've ever fucked a milkman, don't make it weird. I mean, speak for yourself. also think about this that every time you root for Vandy

you're basically just rooting for the like the Vandy rich guys that's really what it is I mean at any point you like last season at any point if you're rooting for a college football team by and large

like what are the exceptions UAB you're not rooting New Mexico State yeah like you're you're mostly rooting for rich guys at this point yes but not by name UAB is run by like

bankers yeah you at least give them an avatar they're the bad boy bankers they're the cool bankers but not in the like financial crashway maybe in a finance accountants of new mexico state we ain't keeping numbers out in lost cruises you're saying you're saying ralick could brand you're saying Vanderbilt's whole brand is rich no they yeah they actually don't even package it like most programs at least go through the rig of a role stadium sponsored by a bank now so Yeah At least it's not

Accure Accure Accure I don't even know what that is The Stillers with you Always Everything comes back to Pitt

Also joining us Jason Kirk Yeah no we picked that up That happened This is like This is like Watching a bad build

Of a 90s basketball game where it's like The Pass is thrown one two three the ball is not there but the shooting motion has started already it's like one shining moment if one shining moment if the ball is tipped the ball is tipped it's in there's really all the song gravity don't work the ball is tip you're in space with a seat of barf I um last week so I pointed out it was it took like 29 minutes for all of us to be interested he's not there yet he's not there yet this is how in game works yeah no we're gonna get there in sub 15 today we're not

recasting spencer either i just want to note um i had because of some internal bleeding earlier this year i had to do a colonoscopy today and i want to let folk forecast readership know that i was told my insides are normal that is not the standard the standard is great i will strive for um looking great but i'll we'll we'll accept normal for now and we're going to work to get better next week normal like adequate i guess i have a normal but hole is what i was told what is i want to know what the standards are you're 45 have you not gotten one i i got a schedule one oh my god he really is going to die you know someone said if you watch the dr dr dr dr subberville halftime show and you know all the songs it's time for your call it's i did it's time that's not an age thing

it's not even an age thing it's a weird medical secret they don't want you to know Doctors hate him. Doctors do hate him. He's the one doctor, I guess. Let's go to some of the 90s most homophobic rappers to get colonoscopies. Jason, is the rest of your blood where it's supposed to be? How are we doing? I think so, yeah.

The main concern today was my butthole, and apparently it's normal. So everything sounds average. What is that? Like, six and six? Yeah, five? Yeah, we're going to the Gasparilla bowl. Well, to the Jason's Gasparilla Bowl. But you're making his Gasparilla hole.

You are making... That just burst out of you, like, that that just burst out of you. Like, you couldn't even restrain it in sense. Could have been weirder. Don't make me. Could have been so much weird. Could have been his tax slayer hole. That's true.

Maybe every hole in this body is a tax. You know how to work it. My pollen weed eater hole. The bad point. A rose hole. It's almost beautiful. Let's see. We can do the list.

There's the Battlefrog Fiesta Hole. I'm sorry. I didn't finish. I was too busy gasping in horror to refer to the rose hole as the grand daddy of the mall. This is where the Little Caesar's pizza hole would have made sense. I think that is the grandzatti of the mall. Actually, there's also the gozaddy.com hole.

Should we cut this? No, not at all. This stays in. We're already here. That's right. It stays in. This is my first responder hole. Oh, no, here it is.

I do have an emergency. I found it. The Tony the Tiger Sunhole. There we go. I was going with the Blue Bonnet hole or the Bacardi hole. Yeah, the Bacardi. I've been there. The sunhole is really something.

The sunhole is an Instagram trend like two or three years ago. What? Yeah. Yeah, when people were sunning their buttholes. And their perenniums. Right. Sorry, how could I forget? To the universal and loud dismay of every dermatologist ever who's like,

no! Some parts of your body are not supposed to get sun. Pretty weird that we had a long public health crisis after that. What do you mean had? Who you got? The Royal Purple Las Vegas Hole or the Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Hole. Wow. The Royal Purple one is the one where they had to remind people tactfully throughout the campaign

that the Louvre was for cars and not people. So I'm going to go with that one. That's probably the winner. I'm going to take the Lockheed Martin one because I know it'll end up devastated. So yeah. I'm a Pyrus. I just want the bell cold. that means it's pleaded

pure southern style modern southern butthole Jason did they just wake you up and did they just wake you up and say do you want to hear about your insides

and you go sure and they're like eh wait you're asleep when this happens it happened exactly as Spencer Spencer's so they woke you up they woke you up to just get you like That's a lot of information to receive right after you wake up.

They just go up to give you the Larry David like, eh. Good news. We didn't find any weird stuff. You're ready to, you can leave in a minute. Okay. There's not even a toy chest or something. Yeah, I didn't get a sticker. Vampire teeth. I've been Krogering just right on the middle of the butt.

You can rot, you can just like scrub off the K. And then you can just wear it around all day. I'm a voter. The peach sticker With the peach on it Just like Take a little ballpoint pen And draw an asterisk

In the middle of the beach Like I said The people in Gaffney South Carolina knew what they were doing When they put up that peach Is that ever in doubt No but every time

I drive past it I understand how in theory You can be like Oh it's a peach But when you're there You're like oh no There are parts That's too supple to be a fruit

There are parts Like it's yeah It's lewd it's the lewdest water tower in America I don't know about that that's true folks if you have any more upsetting pornographic water tower than the gaffe peach

please sound off in the comments at 704 soul cast hail to raw the sun god it's the voice you are hearing the voice you are hearing belongs to Holly Anderson good good good editor rule there reference on first appearance

or 50th please to say we're under 29 it's been 13 13 minutes of no sub 15 nice sub 15

we're getting down we're getting down towards my mile time so Ryan I wanted to ask what provoked this you you posted this morning that it was

it was a good day to get into an internet fight with a stranger um I don't know that's just what the internet's for at this point and it's just nice to see

like what people like people will respond to a prompt like that I guess is a prompt it wasn't really supposed to be but people will just send you like one response I recently got no one will remember Billy Joel

in 30 years which what was that Spencer no it would not be me this is from Twitter user Cliff Legend no one will remember Billy Joel in 30 years maybe I don't know are we going to fight about that I guess we could

I think they will because Olivia Rodrigo sings about him. She's keeping the legacy of life. I do like that I got a tweet from somebody in Fargo, Eat Some Franzen. I tweeted to a local sportscaster that NDSU should stay FCS. I started a fight with a whole town that I live in. Buddy, I've been in a fight with a whole town that I lived in for like 72 hours, so I sympathize with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how online you were on Saturday, so you might have gotten to miss this particular spectacle. What'd you do? Nothing. I think it actually did. I think I can actually trace it back to one person who, I don't even remember what started this.

Florida did some weird shit thing a couple weeks ago, and I just said this would make it funnier when they beat Tennessee by 28, and people got mad, and I said, okay, when they beat Tennessee by 17, and somebody put it on a message board, because for the first time in my long, long history of showing my ass on the internet

my own people think I went to Florida. Oh, did they freezing cold takes you? Oh, no. Even though it wasn't, even before the game. Yeah, no, this was a purely homegrown effort. It was exhausting and beautiful at the same time.

And also, there were a, bunch of people who are like, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm like, you don't understand. I am these people. I just don't do this on the internet. I do it in real life. Um, I'm, I am exactly like those people. And I, um, I'm, I'm not getting anything that I have not. I deserve that fully. I'm not saying you're extremely funny. Not saying you're making me stronger or weaker. I'm just saying this is nutrition. No, you're not making me stronger. I'm just like, ah, dialogue. You are, you are the who's been double crossed by who you thought was your partner and you're like well we're both

we're both thieves so here's the thing here's the thing it's the the two things that tripped me up about it were a the genuine indignation that i thought tennessee might lose this game what in the history of this rivalry or in the last five minutes of the game itself might have led me to believe that this was some great illogical leap i know you people don't act like y'all thought we were going to win this game until it was over. We go to the same churches. And second, we're the people who were fishing around trying to figure out

how they could get me in trouble. Y'all, my mom, my boss, my boss's boss, and my parents' bishop all follow me on Twitter, and this is how I act anyway. What do you think you're going to do to me? Yeah, you can't get in trouble on Twitter anymore.

This is not a thing. I can't. Like, Darren Ravelle tried I'm not saying I'm not saying I don't deserve it I'm just saying Who do you think you're going to tell? Everyone knows this is how I am I'm grown I want to give you my favorite random reply

That I've gotten delayed I think if you were going to age Like I think the really most deranged Twitter responses Right Have to like age for like the people who don't respond to a tweet Until 48 hours after The tweet.

Yes. This is where I just hit them with the late and stupid and move along. I like Ryan's implied take that only winners can talk on this podcast. It's true. We should be giving server a lot more time. Yeah, server dominates the service. Server, take the show. It's just you and Holly.

There's at least one person. He can do this. There's at least one person on Twitter who I know started a Reddit account. just to talk about how I ruined the show. Or there's at least one who's like, talk your shit, Holly. And I'm like, what, no, you want more of me? What for? Don't do that.

It's more of me. It's more of me, but bad. Y'all think I'd, y'all think that, no. But yeah, I agree with you, Spencer, that anything outside of the first day, conservatively, is likely to be just incredibly bad shit, like, either. 24 hour clock. Yeah. Well, that is the feature Twitter should.

You know how you can start a Twitter poll and you can just sort of say like it's open for this long? That's right. Thread should close. Yes. It should just say like you can't respond to a tweet after 24 hours. You just can't. Like automated? Yes.

They should all just be locked after that because the nature of Twitter is like, we've all moved on. I can't even remember what you're talking to me about it. I would love a feature that makes it so. tweets after a certain number of hours just go away and they can't be quote tweeted so I'm not leaving a bunch of dead links around like I don't even like tweeting during sports anymore because like I just wait till games are over before I say whatever I was going to say not because I don't want to be like called out or anything it just I don't like having a feed full of like just my opinion on the third quarter now it's posted in the permanent archive for

all time you don't even have to tweet an opinion you can just say a thing that happened and if you didn't phrase it, if you didn't, like, very carefully phrase it to say, this happened at this point in time, somebody will come at you and be like, didn't throw a pick there, dip shit. You're like, that's not what I was talking about. That was a week ago. He didn't hit a pass all day. He was three for 22. I'm mostly not online on Saturdays. I'm having these conversations in like smaller networks that are not posted for public content because also who gives a shit if you thought it was going to be a pass play and it's not. There's no virtue in this whatsoever. whoever you're boring.

No, you can win. Someone will win Twitter. You just have to keep fighting. It will be me. It'll be me. I've developed my brain will end up perfectly smooth and callous. It'll be me. They're just feeding me.

I'm only getting stronger. They fed the beast. I think all replies that are older than 24 hours should automatically be in the dumb SpongeBob font. They should just convert to little letter, big letter, little letter, big letter, right? If I could have a button to do that because it takes me so much time, to type that up on the phone. I forgot I had the best

response. There's one dude who I know for a fact. He works for Hot 104-5 in Knoxville and I know for a fact that his mom goes to church with my mom. And first of all, you put your real job in your bio, Eric, and second of all, our moms go to church together, dude. What are you

doing? Your mom's way meaner than my mom. And if you think I didn't post this directly to your mom's Facebook. Can I tell you what, man? The meanest mom in any East Tennessee town is a fierce title is mine is yours is static or do you think it like moves like the AP poll where it's like this week's meanest mom well I I'm not saying she doesn't have like an impressive streak but is it is it is she locked into that until she dies or can I hope so I don't want to look around for

anything worse all right I mean more fearsome hi mom I just think the sport is better when USC is a mean mom that's just my opinion that Listen, man, me, Mama almost got God in Corvallis. I think USC is best when it's a mom who does academics fraud. Oh, we actually have a mom voicemail that I can't decide if I want to play it because it's very long. But it involves a Miami fan going to the A&M. Play it. I like this one.

Server, can we play? 7-72. He didn't give his name. I was at the Miami, Texas, A&M game and college station as a Miami fan. And leaving the game after we lost, now, it was kind of expected. I'm just happy that I traveled to one of these games

we didn't get totally blown out on national stage. Everyone was so nice. I had a guy come up to me and say, hey, y'all, have a safe trip home. And I was ready to come at him because I immediately thought, fucking shit like, Oh, hey, I have a nice trip home. Like, wait, no, wait.

This guy's, like, actually legitimately nice. He showed my family and I how to get to the right shuttle that would take us back to our parking lot. And other people, I've talked to other Miami fans. Like, oh, my gosh, everyone was so nice. I can't believe how nice everyone was and so accommodating. Oh, my gosh, just the greatest people in the world. And then I started to think, are we the only assholes?

A Miami Hurricane fans, the only total assholes that will jump into a visiting team's face entire family and talk around to their face. Is that that us? Are we the only ones doing that? I'm a real, uh, come to Jesus moment here. There's other ones like us out there, right?

Not everyone's super nice. Mm-mm. Please tell me. Yeah, I think every... I love the real life. Are we the baddies? I think every, every fan base from every place is like generally the same mix of names. mean and nice, but very different kinds of mean and nice.

When Miami fans are mean, everyone knows it. And when Heartlanders feel nice, they make sure everyone knows it. There's also, like, I don't think whether or not Miami fans are mean or nice has anything to do with the result of the game. Like, I think there are other places where how nice the fans are going to be to you as the visitor depends on what happened. but I think Miami is pretty consistently going to be mean and shit to you. Yeah, they're not all like this, yeah.

I also think it's possible, and this is not to offend our beloved caller. I don't know if a Miami fan has like an appropriate setting for what nice looks like. This strikes me as a great white shark looking at a bear and being like, well, he's not that rabid. He's not that ravenous at all. he's positively nice he's not even in the water at the time compared to you he didn't tell me to go drink my own piss once he just said glub glove glove glove yeah um he didn't call he only called me one or two slurs what a nice guy i found out that the that for some reason whatever reason the ratio

of homophobic slurs for dudes and ladies is just way out it's either way out of whack or they just don't know any of the ones for ladies because miami fans will call anyone the F word. I don't think any of the Florida schools are particularly nice, to my knowledge. No, I don't think so. At all. Like, I can do this. I think Miami fans... No, but you're all not nice in completely

different ways, which is really interesting. Yeah, no, it's all variations. Florida fans are kind of like cold. Florida state fans are Florida fans who smoke, and Miami fans are loud versions of those two combined.

That's it. The only difference is volume or you smoke? Because I've never seen more adult smoke. Like, all right, the only place I've seen more adult smoking in public than a state game is like a Chinese bar. Like, some place where people still smoke like it's the 70s. Sure. Like hardcore, one in the nostril, one in the ear, one tucked into the hat, one in the mouth,

right? You can still buy Florida State season tickets with camel cash. People don't tell you that. I think USF, UCF fans are also not nice in, mostly just because they are so invested in you agreeing with their notions. USF fans, I think, are so beaten down by the previous decade or so that it seems kind of nice. They're just like, you know, hey man, I'm sorry, but I root for USF. to make a fair sample assessment

Is it Is it morally wrong To be a mean fan base Like do we have an ethical view on this? Not necessarily Hmm I hadn't thought about that Like let's

Let's put some categories over here Physical violence Slurs You know Talking shit to a child Even though Spencer's done that Hi, Spencer. Like, talking shit to the elderly again.

Hello, Spencer. Ah, the elderly, I think the elderly are getting a bit of a class. Oh, you know, Spencer called her a Walmart person. She said I was wearing a Walmart shirt and I called her a Walmart person, okay? And you know what that means, by the way? It's not about her as a person who was shop at Walmart. It would be about her as a person representative of the quality of the products of Walmart because unlike her, I ain't classes. Here's the thing.

When you're mean to an elderly person, just be. by percentages, it's more likely that you are getting karmic revenge on them for something shitty they've done in their very long life. When you do it to a child, it's like your odds are not so good. Yeah. I don't know, man. Some kids just suck. Some kids do just suck, but I don't think sentences are sizing them up before he's skater chomping them at the zoo. And also the kid who sucks. I don't know I'm a defendant, Spencer,

gator chomped a child at the zoo. The kid who sucks could be an agent of, you were thinking about the time he gator chomped a child at the zoo. I was thinking about the time he sang the Michigan Fox song in the face of a Michigan child. I did not. I was many rows away. I think this answers are Miami college idea of whether Miami is the only place for me. You're confusing

the story at the Atlanta where I saw two Florida state fans who were pushing a stroller, admittedly so they couldn't chase me or at least one of them had to stay with the baby. The stroller might have had cigarettes. Yeah, also I'm sure they were both smokers so they wouldn't have been able to catch me because the slow as

I am. Just a zoo just a zoo stroller with a carton of cigarettes He looks just like his father Our little Our little baby Marlboro We've talked about both of these incidents

Multiple times on the floor So we can run tape back And find out just how close you were To this Michigan child Don't you say that in front of Virginia With the two Florida State fans I saw them And they were both so dicked out

In Seminole gear And this was like the day after The day after The Jamis backwards fump all right which at the moment that's that was the horns down of its time it's funny to everyone and it just means that you like college football just a magnificent thing happening to a team that absolutely deserved it and getting blown out by of all teams the oregon ducks I saw them and I yelled go ducks at them as we passed and immediately they started sounding like

south park people which was awesome like they're like no titles no championships thinking I was a duck fan I mean looking at you I could buy yeah yeah I mean like obviously I look like an Oregon fan hey in that vein Cerber can we play a very quick 901 Joe in Memphis

Hi this is Joe I'm a UF alum living in Memphis But the majority of my family hails from skull bone to a sea. Most of them are avid UT fans, despite having not gone to college. I think there's a correlation there. So for the better part of the past two decades,

I've had my way with them after this game. However, my 87-year-old grandfather decided to call me up yesterday after the Tennessee Florida game, and he said, how about them involved? And, of course, I promptly reminded him that

The next time he'll see the voles when a game against the Gators will be in hell for him. He'll be dead. Go Gators. Fuck. Go Gators, baby. Yeah, Miami's not the only mean fan base. See, the only difference, smoking in volume. That's it.

He said it quietly. Yeah, L-Dermis, I think, is consistently across all Floridian disciplines. Can I tell you what I have found is the most disarming thing you can do when you, your team loses a rivalry game and and the other team tries to make you feel feelings about it just turn around and be like oh yeah you guys played great you really deserve that win just immediately like return a compliment and it will be like met with like uh huh you're supposed to be crying online right now i can't make myself do that i'm a bad person i can't make myself do that It's really good because it's not.

I stick directly to the four more onside kicks and we're back in this thing. Yeah. No, it's my favorite. My brother-in-law is a Tennessee fan. He was texting me during the game. And at the end, I was just like, yeah, man, you know, would have been fun if Florida had hit that last one. But Tennessee deserved to win it. Not a big deal.

He just, like, stop texting me. It's like, it's not fun. There's no. Ryan's saying is this method appeals to bad people. This is four bad people to do. The attitude that I like to adopt is this. There's a family legend about my cousin Anthony getting up to some shit. My grandfather chasing him out of the house and then around the house multiple times.

And Anthony eventually getting up enough speed in Wiley Coyote Roadrunner fashion that he is able to skitter up either a drain pipe or a trellis or something. He gets on the porch roof. and Grandpa comes around the front and he's, I picture, I assume he's like wearing a wife beater and suspenders because this is just how I always picture him. But he's out in the front yard, he's wheezing, and he's coughing, he looks up at Anthony

and he shakes his hand, and he says, see how close you come to getting it? I like this attitude and a loss. It has always served me beautifully. I cannot relate to it at the moment because we won. Because Tennessee's undefeated, and there's no reason to think that will change. so now I immediately have a new problem

that was so slick and evil Ryan that's not that doesn't hurt that doesn't work that that bounces right off me do you know what sticks directly in my craw what specifically between 7 and 8 p.m. on Monday nights on the SEC number is you and Richard pivoting immediately to

Tennessee's going to get Bama this is upsetting to me and I wish you would stop it I I'm going to violate a rule and just say that it's actually what I sincerely believe. Jesus wept. Okay.

Yes. All right. No. You believed a lot of stupid things. I know. That's fine. I just want to go ahead. I'm going to stand on stupid.

Stupid. I will ride with stupid. Stupid got me this far. Trimelates can stand for a head and in hooker, Heisman. And I recognize you have no power to Jesus. You have no power to jinx my team. But just hearing it makes me uncomfortable, like the gods will see that I am listening

to this. And they will strike me. How would that theme be, Jason? That's all about the game. How do you play? It'd be banjo. Yeah. I love this.

Somebody going to have to work up that triple-H. He's going to come out to boat motorhead. Look, we haven't, we haven't updated it in a while. And I owe it to you, Holly. But, like, Tennessee is still your playoff. Oh, fuck. I forgot. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. I forgot about that because we didn't do it. last week. And it is, it is by far your strongest. I mean, Kansas State did beat Oklahoma. So they're in there for you, too. But like, it is, I think, the only good playoff pick remaining at this point. There's no shame in being correct.

No. No, that's, this is, this is the thing that I think people don't understand. Much like Spencer, I shouldn't believe at this point that we could still receive news that Florida has received an untimed down from the officials. What time is it? It's Tuesday? It's that 1027?

It's almost 2 o'clock. Central on Tuesday, yes. Any moment. Because, again, look at the history that we were talking about right before the game. I come by this honestly. I don't like feeling this way. This is just how it is. Billy Napier will get a 15-yard penalty and have to be held back by 23 get-back coaches.

So what the fuck was he doing? He must be stronger than he looks. Yeah, there were like three or four. The initial get-back guy was taller and part of him. And he could not contain him. Is the feeling, or was the feeling, I guess, that this is a snake-bitten game for Tennessee? That, like, Tennessee just can't get out of its own. Like, that has not been my impression of this rivalry over the last 15 years.

Like, that to me much more describes what the Kentucky Florida game was for, like, a five-year stretch, where it was, like, Kentucky always gets super close, and then some bullshit happens. Like, delay of game doesn't get called on Florida. or they can just throw a forward pass five or whatever oh see i like i like those games i like those games better i would like we were talking about the georgian win a couple years ago winning a game is great stealing a game is even better yes terms of feelings that's true it's wonderful um but no i like i'm not going into for example the ls u game like i went to like i went into the florida game florida is a special it's a special degree of snake bytitude like i am more

this is not a football statement, this is an emotional truth statement, and we traffic an emotional truth on this podcast. I am more scared of South Carolina and Kentucky than I am of playing LSU and Bama. Because I feel like I have a better idea what to expect out of those games than I do out of those other two. I'm not, Kentucky I agree with. Not Bama. Bama's weird. South Carolina and Kentucky, I am more scared of than, let's say, LSU and Georgia. Because I think I know how those are going to go. Okay. But South Carolina and Kentucky tends to produce some weird shit.

And it doesn't help that those games are usually played around Halloween. Yeah, the Kentucky game is two days before Halloween. Yeah, but at least it's not in Lexington. It's not in Lexington. No, it's not. And right now, it would be number seven verse number eight. See, okay, that freaked me out on Kentucky's behalf too, seeing them in the top ten. I'm like, oh, no.

Dude. Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's play a voicemail because do you know who gets me right now? Serber, play 984, play back from North Carolina. Hi, this is Zach from North Carolina. I just thought, there are in some stats from Iowa, but I just thought would be very interesting for everyone. Currently, Iowa, Iowa has 1,364 point yards,

and 930 total yards of offense. They are averaging more point yards for games and offensive yards. The five other teams in FBS that is doing that, Louisiana Monroe, FIU, Ackern, O'DU, and New Mexico. Also, can we please stop looking at NC State? We all know what's going to happen. They're going to go to Clemson,

and somehow, like, the buses will go to the wrong stadium or a hole will open up as they're running onto the field and follow half the defense. But please just stop looking at them. Thanks. Love the show. Bye. This is the emotion that I want for Tennessee. Stop looking at us. This is why I want them ranked at 23,

because to look upon them is to invite the wrath of a perpetually angry God. That's not what's going to happen to NC State, by the way. Oh, no, it's not. I think in C. Well, I have a complicated, like, ranking system of superstitions that is kind of hard to explain and not sound like a deranged person, but a night game, game day, ranked teams involved. like this is this is in a north carolina snake bites clemson game if i've ever seen one so if if nc state

won this game throws things off though if nc state won this game on the road they would leapfrog to i don't know maybe six or seven somewhere in that range from ten clemson's five right now and the very next game they have is a home game against florida state see and what will happen what what what is much more likely happened to me is NC State plays a very clean game, a very clean, very successful game against Clemson and wins, and then completely

poops the high chair against Florida State. Yeah, but you won the textile bowl, and that's what matters most. I love that the hands down biggest game of the week is the motherfucking textile bowl. Like, fancy New York liberals might not know anything

about the goddamn textile bowl, but that's what we hear in college football world are doing with our time. We're getting amped up for the textile bowl. For clothes and tablecloths. I do not understand they don't look at us mindset. Like when people, if you're, okay, your team might lose. Half the teams lose every game by by account.

And like, that's funny when it happens. And you have been entertained people. So that's good. You have provided an entertainment. And I understand like, conceptually, I understand your objection. and I absolutely feel that way when it's teams that aren't mine but I was born into this fan base

this is just I don't know I mean most I'm not talking about you I'm not most people are like this and I don't know I just don't understand it it's not about Tennessee I'm like oh that's stupid but like when it's when it's people who think their teams are going to

like if I'm giving advice to other people I am absolutely in the vein of listen enjoy the moment you won who cares you won this feeling you know coast on this feeling you got that little dopamine hit that's fantastic but when it comes to me it doesn't work on myself I can't do it

I wish I could I can't I do appreciate that Kansas is not embracing this Kansas is oh look at us Behold old that is Jayhawk Yes no exactly Trembled before the mite Let's live Week 4 Panthers off

This is who I want to be I just like and maybe after a couple years of this team I can get back there But like I would I would love to be there and I'm going to try and put myself in that mindset. But emotionally, I just can't, I can't wrench myself out of that great yet. We do have a marvelous Kansas fan voicemail.

Sirber. Can you play 541, Alex? This bird that looks like a moonshine logo demands your fealty, our mythological bird. Hello, full cast. This is Alex from Pointe to Rets, the rambling Kansas fan from last week. Thank you for the advice. I am currently living in the moment and enjoying every bit of it. And if you're given me the option of being in the top 25 or having Mizzou lose in devastating fashion, I will take Mizzou losing like that every single time.

Rockshot, screw Mizzou, hail to rock. I love it all. I did not really think about the Kansas angle on the absolutely atrocious Mizzou result from this past weekend. We got one more. Serber play 417, Will and Columbia. Hi, this is Will from Columbia, Missouri. I'm a lifelong Missouri football fan, and we deserve this. Wait, no, I'm sorry.

One more still, I promised last one. 314, Sean and St. Louis. Folks, this is Sean in St. Louis, and let me tell you, I've been a Missouri Tigers fan for 20-something years, and I watched every single ridiculous play that happened at the end of that game and I felt absolutely nothing. It is my great pleasure to inform me that I have ascended.

I no longer feel the pain of the Missouri Tigers fans. M-I-Z, baby. I feel nothing. Welcome. That's hot. Man, welcome. Welcome, brother. And I, the advice to everybody else,

else is giving to enjoy and live and talk their shit is the correct advice and i i am hoping to get there emotionally but y'all i'm broken everything since 2004 has broken me it's not my fault you you i think it's fair to recognize tennessee still has several hurdles ahead of it and like it's not the usual it's like tennessee never gets an easy schedule but as they go this is not the worst well this this missou fan is like escaping samsara because of what auburn did That's it. I no longer desire anything. It's on my tongue, but I don't have to swallow it. What is the case where Mizzou deserves this?

I don't know. That's the mystery. I don't know that I'm leaving that to him. Like, I mean, children of an angry God. What did Gary Binkle do? What, what unfair height did Mizzou reach that they must now be? Losing to Auburn and the RTC championship game. They sold their soul for that year when they lost to Oklahoma twice, which Barry Odom was too beautiful.

and broke God's heart. Yeah. So I, for other reasons, I did not see any of that game. And then I saw people talking about it. And I was like, oh, something weird must have happened. And then I went and found the play. And it is, um, did something weird happen? I don't, I don't, usually I am so online that, like, I am caught up when a weird thing happens.

And I either see it happen because everybody's like, hey, this game's in overtime. Go watch it. Or people are always like, like oh my god look at this but not seeing it until several hours after the fact is really uh it's really pretty special you have time to let it set it's like it's like walking into a grocery store aisle and you'd be like wow there's a lot of blood here i do not know what happened here but it must have been very fine someone clean this up when you see like 10 straight deleted replies yeah a great battle is fought here yeah or when you i will do this i have so many people

muted at this point that occasionally I'll see like one right like a response I'll be like one beacon in the wilderness yeah and then like four thousand who goes that what the fuck happened here good god it's or it's like if you open the last email in a 49 email chain and it's like well yeah I never loved you anyway and you're like this is a company email Spencer have you ever you need to calm down have you ever opened an email in a chain is why i don't this is i usually just i usually just skip to the last one oh okay like it's going to summarize everything yeah to see you know because yeah i'm going to figure out all of this shit you don't i don't need to be involved in the first and the last and then just context clues it yeah but then i realized

the same rule applies if you're the 47th email in a chain you are the one who replies to the 48 hour old tweet so is generally the person who is like could you go back and do all this again for me If you just watch the last scene of Jurassic Park, it's, it's like, I'm going to start doing that. I'm going to roll up on a deleted chain and be like, guys, what happened here? Can you fill me in? It's immuted? Yeah, and just demand to be recapped over the entire thing. Yeah, people do this.

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And I think we can play it in full. It's long, but he's got a lot to say, server. Would you play 732 from Tom? Oh, shut down fullcast. I cannot believe y'all have. veered into one of my weird areas of expertise. This is Tom in North Carolina, by the way.

I heard y'all's Apple talk on last week's episode, and I'm in the middle of doing a master's degree that basically focuses entirely on heirloom apple varieties in the south. I actually

was having a conversation with a national level Apple historian slash expert, and asked him about shower apples and whether or not he had any opinions on preferable characteristics or varieties for a shower apple. And he said that because of the sort of steamy and heated environment, you're probably going to want something that is a little richer than most apples late season. He actually recommended any number of ruffeted varieties. So you're

basic Roxbury russet will do you fine, but if you want something funkier. See if you can go find yourself a knobbed russet. Google a picture of that. It's a fun time. But, yeah, if you like, I have a first-team offense that I've developed of all Southern Apple variety names that sound like college football players. Sneak Peak, the quarterback is named Cannon-Pair Main. And I would also like to mention, I was trying to think of the college football. apple that I could find, and the red delicious apple, the much maligned red delicious apple that we know today,

was actually, essentially bred from a number of mutations from an heirloom variety from Iowa in the 1800s called Hawkeye. And so, in a way, if you think about, you know, early success, slowly festering and devolving into mediocrity over the years, I propose that we call the Red Delicious Affirance Apple going forward Love the show Thank you That's incredible

Tom please call us back I need to know all these apple names Thank you Yeah Thank you so much Best voicemail ever Also Tom Will you please come on hand

In the dirt as a guest Email us at hit depot Atgmail.com What a fucking flagrant rebranding effort That was Oh well just call the apple Delicious

This is like What's the most American thing you can be. It was like, we made the shittiest apple in the world, and we marketed it as red delicious. I guess someone else should have called their just delicious first. Well, the first thing they said was true. So the second one must be as well. The only thing American would be if the apple itself wasn't fucking red. You're just looking at this red apple and you're like, no lies detectives so far. Just containing 50% truth. That's it. Red delicious. Are they? You're like, well, they're red. Diesel delicious. Gaslit into believing the green apple

is red. they should have just called them red apples come get them that's how drinks work I do the PT Barnum thing be like guaranteed not to turn pink yeah like well they didn't Spencer I do think you could start a very successful

TikTok side career as just guy who tries food and shower and rates it I think you could you could pull that off okay we'll do that like no I'll go do that tonight that'll happen shower food guy kimchi yeah

seven and a half yeah y'all want to talk about a humbling experience is it dropping kimchi in the show no no we're just regarding TikTok in general

sure I met a neighbor a new neighbor the other day and we got to talking and he's a retired architect and artist and he said oh my

granddaughter set me up on TikTok to like you know show people my art and I said oh that's great. He's like, yeah, I got 650,000 followers. Is that a lot? And I was like, you mean like views or likes? And he's like, no, I'm pretty sure it's followers. And I was like, okay, dude, cool. And, uh, you know, we stood in the middle of the street talking for like 45s. And I learned the history of, uh, a number of buildings. And then I went and I found him on TikTok. Dude, he undersold it. He has like 665,000 followers on TikTok. Doing what?

He has 90. Yeah. Doing what? He shot talking about art. That's it. I mean, like, it's a great TikTok account. I'm not selling him short, but like... I have been watching a lot of art YouTube videos, so... I am so humbled. I am humbled before this man. Yeah.

Anyway, shout out Paul. That's probably the best use of the... Like, the remaining good use of the internet is like free docent. Just like, hey, here's here, I'm a quirky, I'm a quirky person who's going to tell you about this thing that I know a lot of... He's an architect, but he's also an artist. So, like, pretty much anything about drawing. Right? He's just got this. It's mostly about like drawing. Yeah. And he had your 50 or 664,000 followers last I checked. I followed the same thing. Like sports TikTok is is hit or miss. Like some people are very good at it. If you don't follow Richard Jefferson, you really should. Richard Jefferson does amazing things, including he usually stitches, which is where you put your video next to somebody else's video, right? And you react to it. He usually videos that are that are people who are trying to say nice things about.

Richard Jefferson and inevitably they flip it to a clip of Richard Jefferson fucking something up in an NBA game halfway through like hey Richard little great experience as a player I just want he's like thank you thank you yes that's great what you have a question sure that it's like what were you thinking when you took this shot and it's him missing the rim by like 30 feet in an NBA game and he's like all right there's like 30 videos like that and they're all the same joke and they're all wonderful reaction face though like it works every time. It's funny at the time. I don't mean to pile on here.

And I'm not the only person who said this. But Dan Orlovsky thinks that he is off the... No, we can always pile on to this. It's fine. Because Jimmy Garapolo also stepped out of the back of the end zone. All it did was remind people of Dan Orlobsky. And also, like, when you see the two side by side, and I saw... I forget who it was, but I saw a Tennessee fan on Twitter talking about this. And it's like, they're just not the same.

Like Jimmy Garoppolo takes a couple of steps And I think like doesn't even get a whole foot In the back of the end zone Dan Orlovsky did like a walking Like an Appalachian trail of the back of the end zone On his seat This is a family circus journey Yeah he's heading to Oregon as a banker

With a wagon full of meat Yeah Wagon full of supplies Yes He got dysentery five steps in Like He coughed that wagon and carried it across. And I don't have any particular problem with Dan Orlovsky, but it's just like, these are not the same thing.

And also, dude, you should know by now this is not how to make this go away. I think it might have almost worked if he had tried to bury his own content beneath the butt punt. Yeah, that's a much funnier kind of football own goal. but he chose a guy doing not quite as funny a version of the thing we already found funny right right right right and there were already so many like dan ralovsky did it on the lions and it's like well of course inherently funny you know yeah but the butt pint man also jenni gropolo's handsome remember it's only weird if you do it on the lions it's only weird if you're good like remember the whole thing for Stafford before he won a Super Bowl was

yeah man it's weird he's good on the Lions like is he good yeah right like we weren't even able to actually discern whether he was talented or good and have any like definitive opinion because he was too competent like Calvin Johnson yes people recognize that he was an amazing player at both Georgia Tech and yes at Detroit but even at Detroit it was like yes weird Calvin's there he's incredible that's so fucking weird there were people even in the 90s who were like Barry Sanders he's a stat compiler. Correct.

You're the dumbest person. You are the dumbest person alive if you think that shit. First of all, he survived playing for the Lions. No, real schools of thought there were people for whom when the Lions signed a massive deal with Scott Mitchell. You're like, who's Scott Mitchell? That's my point exactly. The guy who hands off to Barry Sanders.

Right, the guy who hands off to Barry Sanders and who was a competent NFL quarterback for several seasons. And they signed Scott Mitchell to a massive deal. after his most successful season, there were people who said, finally, we could diversify and get this offense a little more away from stat hog, Barry Sanders.

There were people who thought that and said that. There were people, I remember, like, he would, you know, he had a very all or nothing aggressive running style. He would lose a yard, lose a yard, lose a yard, and then break 90 yards. And there were people said, this is hurting the lions. You can't hurt the lions?

I mean, they counterpoint. And drag the lions to the playoffs. So you could be the lions where it's confusing when you have outstanding offensive players. Or you could be the bears and just never have them. Just never at all. Honest, very honest. Do you know how many passing yards Justin Fields has this year? I do not.

Can I take a shot? I will tell you right now that Chicago has played three games. They're two and one. How many yards do you think Justin? Fields has thrown for total in those three games 240 297 I wouldn't far off man you you weren't and we know Justin Fields is verified good at football it's the bearsness it's just the bears is creeping into his bones so powerful if it gets in his bones

he's done the bear bones offense this is this is where I am legally required to remind you and I have to pull it up here quick, hold on. The single season passing leader for the Chicago Bears in yards and touchdowns is Eric Kramer in 1995. That's right.

That's when offense Pete. That's when offense peaked was 1995. Jay Cutler for like a decade. And Jay Cutler in yards is spots two, three, four, and five. Mitchell Trubesky is spot six. It's fucked up.

Like, they have won Super Bowls, and they have been to the Super Bowl not that long ago. And so we don't put them in the same category as, like, these quintessentially dormanty teams. But, God damn, the Bears are a black hole of offense. Which makes them sound better at offense than they are. You know who's number five? Think about what has happened in passing in the NFL over the last 10 years. Number five, all time in Bears passing yards? Who?

Trubisky. Yes. Oh. Yes. Like he's number five on the career list? Yeah. Wow. Rex Grossman is 14th.

Jim Harbaugh is third. Oh dear. That's true. Jim Harbaugh. I just breezed past that one. Jim Harbaugh is third. Huh. Well.

Mike Tomzak coming in at 12th. But at this pace, Justin Fields will need another 30 years to crack this list. God, that makes it sound like a Scooby-Doo villain. Just a miserable slog of a franchise at this point. I'm sorry to anybody who's a Bears fan. That's your fault. That's your fault. Hey, Ryan, you do actually owe an apology to somebody, Sirber.

Can we play the 404 voicemail from this very angry Georgia fan? Ryan, please, for Christ's sake, stop trying to jinx Georgia. It's working, and it sucks. thank you what is work okay I think he needs your child

okay okay hold on because Kent State court scored points is this because I said Georgia was going to win the national championship and Jetson was going to win

the Heisman maybe Ken I want to have a word I would like to have a word by the way I thought he meant stop giving birth to children but that was the Florida Jenks never mind

this is we have a word about this because the idea that a 39 to 22 game against Kent State constitutes a real source of concern for the Georgia Bulldogs is hilarious because they do this every year it's just usually against mercer or some shit what like they've had their bad game you go like oh they're going to have a bad game have a sleepy brunch game every year and this one was against Kent state who they just happened to have it against Kent state who I don't know if you're familiar with Ken state's whole deal is that they spend the entire first month of the season taking checks to get wrecked that's it out of their three read off their September schedule. This is what they opened with

this year. It's disgusting. At Washington where they got smoked 4520. At Oklahoma where they got smoked 33 to 3.

Versus Long Island, they won that 63 to 10. Fuck you, Long Island. And then they went... It's not that long. That's right. They went to Georgia,

3922. I want you to notice something, by the way, that of all of those teams, the one that they put up the best fight against is the defending national champions in their house. They are one in three, and Kent State might be the greatest one and three team in the nation. Because they confused and game planned really well, really, really well for Georgia. Like all credit to them.

And that's got Georgia freaked out because someone else did something smart. That's, this is the Georgia Bulldog. Like they faced a team that was smart, well coached, and pull. played competently and they're terrified. The Georgia Tech fans I've heard from they've said, who are we going to hire as head coach, right? And I'm like, you should go hire

Dion. That's it. And then you'll have better players than you do. And they say, I don't know. What about this guy who scored on Georgia? That's it. That's all they care about. Because there's a guy who has scored on Georgia, so they should hire him. Oh, man. Y'all love yourselves. I mean, Georgia has... I mean, it seems to be a good coach. Like, if you got Kent State competitive with anyone, That's great.

As we record this, Georgia has two ranked opponents left on its schedule. And charitably, I can see maybe one more sneaking in here if Mississippi State gets on a streak by the time they play them. What are you worried about? Who is going to provide Georgia its comeuppance? Holly refuses to let it be Tennessee. I don't think it's, I think there's a much better case for Tennessee taking it to Alabama than there is to Georgia. and then and then the other option is Georgia at Kentucky on November 19th Spencer and I actually game this out earlier do you want to

yeah my reasoning is this that because of the way that Georgia is able to attack a defense versus the limitations that Alabama has had against some opponents not consistently but at times they've been a short pass offense that hasn't been able to move the ball on the ground like that's happened that I would be worried but this is so far fucking ahead of itself. Let's go. Does our, if you're coaching Bama, does our habit of parking a receiver on either sideline give you pause at this time?

Yeah. Creating some space out there. They also like, they just do stuff where I think if Tennessee does that thing where, I don't know, they run off 14 or 21 points at the game, I don't think that's a great position for Alabama. Do I think they could come back? Yeah. Do I think Georgia's going to get down by a couple of scores to Tennessee at any point?

No. No, because they. They have Brock Bowers and they have Darnel, Washington, and they can open up the middle of the field, which if you saw against Florida, the middle of that defense is open all over the place against Tennessee. Brock Bowers is disgusting. In other words, I think the receiving core is to me,

the part that I believe in a little bit more with Georgia, than Alabama's receiving court. Not that in three weeks they won't be the best in the nation because they just turn it on. That's entirely possible, but based on what I've seen so far. And since it's good by the, but you know, the Florida game is over, so I'm going to be fine.

This is actually all about my feelings. I just, I don't, I don't see how I or we are causing anything for Georgia? You're not. It's just funny. Okay. By the way, can I give you just for, for shits and giggles? Kent State's 2020, uh, 2021 schedule.

They went to A&M. This is opening week. Two A&M. They got a cake game against VMI, which again, they won 60 to 10. And then they went to Iowa and two Maryland. games where, again, they lost all of them, but they kept getting better as they went.

This is all Kent State does. They show up to school, and they're like, boys, get your mouthpieces in because you're getting punched. They're non-conference road games over the next three years. UCF, Arkansas, Fresno State, Pitt, Tennessee State, Penn State, Ohio State. Good Christ, y'all. Fuck all of you. Bring it on.

That 2020. Yeah, that 2024. I can do this all day. 2024, it's at Pitt, at Tennessee, at Penn State. Jesus. Kent State could be kings in Pennsylvania. No, listen, by the time the playoff expands to 12, they got an argument. They'll be ready.

They get the sheets matrix. They get to put it in their chest. All the schmiskets, all the schmuffin. They belong to the golden flashes. 2019, they played Arizona State, Auburn, and Wisconsin. Fucking maniacs. I also, I want to imagine the Georgia...

The spake me daddy of team. I want to imagine the Georgia tech fan who has to go to work and listen to a bunch of Georgia fans be like, I don't know, we really didn't show it against Kin State. I just don't know about... It's like, God damn it, I've been watching my team get fucking pumbled for a month.

And now nobody works there. But I wouldn't give to win by 17. You would have a chick-fil-A. That was good, Holly. It was good. Yeah, I think that was nice. Hey, we got a couple of, you know who I think has skated under the radar since they got beat by Florida? Because everything.

USF. We have a couple of, we have a couple of voicemails here that I would like to play back to back that I think really, the Utah fan base is just having a beautiful year. And I would just like to celebrate that between the exposed breasts and the nuclear threat. can we play it's like a James Bond film this sounds like a fallout mod we got a couple of voicemails that came in within like an hour of each other that are both celebrating

different aspects of this and I would like to play this can we can we hear from 435 they didn't give their name but they're calling from Salt Lake hey calling from Salt Lake City just wanted to set the page really quick environmentally here in Utah We're in the midst of one of the worst droughts ever.

So that's the stage. A couple of weeks ago, you might remember there were some boobies that were shown at the University of Utah game. And now I'm not sure if it was coincidence, but over the last couple of weeks, it's been rainier than almost ever. High school statistics tell me correlation does not imply causation, but maybe it does. Anyways, keep up a good work. Correlation is causation on this show. those young women pleased the land and brought the reins. Does the nuclear threat tie in, or is that the red herring?

The next one. It's 801, Ian from Lehigh. Hey, y'all. This is Ian from Lehigh, Utah. Lehigh, not like Pennsylvania, but Lehigh is in like the Mormon prophet. Anyways, I just wanted to say I've never been more proud of my youths than when one of our fans threatened literal fucking nuclear holocaust, if we lost the San Diego State. Besides being objectively better at football than like half the conference, I don't know

how else we could better our application to the Big Ten, because truly only a leader and a legend would threaten to destroy a mid-sized city if the team didn't win. Also, I was a former nuclear researcher at the U, and like people freaked out too much over it. uh it's fine like we had a couple guys that look over the reactor uh it's run by grad students that nothing bad ever happens when grad students and uh i mean it's small i mean it's still big enough that like it would like kill about a million people if it exploded but like it's not it's not that bit well that's why you're not getting into the big time like i just feel like people should calm down a little bit over that but anyways love what you guys do uh have a great one bye

TV networks now I'm never going to pass up the calm down about the threat of nuclear holocaust I'm never going to pass this one up Did you hear the In all that braggadocio Deserved it and Earned There was the unmistakable note of

Utah humility Better than about half the Big Ten Buddy You're better than almost all of the Big Ten And you can say it I would like to think he was He was displaying mid-wreates So as to better acclimate

To the youths new home as the kings of the Big Ten. It's like Ohio State, Minnesota, Utah, in my opinion. Could we, you know how Maryland is still in the universe of this show? Yes. Could we just put Utah in the Big Ten ourselves? Like, I've just decided that they're there. I'm going to try, can I, can I, I, I'm going to trial run?

Okay. Like, can we have them, can we invite them for this week and see how it feels? You said trial run and it was, and you made a motion like you're putting on a I'm trying on a jacket. I'm trying on my very known and famous Utah in the Big Ten coat. So this is like Dagaba and you're going to carry, wait, that makes you. This is college football and if you're an important official, you have a colored jacket, right? You have a themed jacket.

So I'm putting on my themed Big Ten invitational committee jacket, which has giant shoulders because it's the Big Ten jacket. And I'm putting it on and we're just going to feel it out. The letterman's jacket with lots of like debate club patches and shit. That's right. Do you think there was a fight over whether it should be jackets? Do you think somebody was like, I think cummer buns. I think we should have colored cummer buns to indicate we work for the Fiesta Bowl. I want to know who argued for pants.

Taste for yellow linen slacks. So just a little side story. We're talking about appropriate clothing and with people arguing about this. We did an interview with Reese Davis yesterday. And Reese is on a, he's using, thinking out loud every Monday, 7 o'clock on the SEC network. We're interviewing him and he's on remote. So he's talking into a camera on this app, okay? And we can see him.

And he starts talking about, yeah, you know, my Instagram, I did this thing where we're talking about, you know, like sort of upping the standard for what you wear in public. Because I think people have given up on that. And Richard and I kind of look at each other. And I looked at Reese and I was like, Reese, can you see us? And Reese goes, no, no, no, actually. I'm on this program. I can't see you guys.

And I'm like, good. That's good. Keep going. I thought the last night's show was like the best shirt that Richard's ever worn. That was a great one. He should repeat that one. Notes. My favorite version.

The pink and black floral, that was a good one. Yeah. My favorite version of this flight, this fight, if given it away, is people who get mad that you won't dress up to get on the airplane. Oh, my Christ. And I'm like, guys, the airplane fucking sucks now. Stop asking me to class up the flying bus.

Why would I have to put on wool? Why would I want to put on wool pants to squeeze into a window seat and get no snacks? Like, I get dressed up for a wedding, and I get booze, and I get to dance, and it's sometimes at a nice place, and there's food. None of those things are true of an airplane. If I'm on the Oregon Express, I'll dress up. Ryan, I heard you say you get booze and then first I thought you'd say you'd get booed.

It's not right, sure. Sure. Any conversation about clothes that involves the word should, you should dress like this. I am not listening. You were talking and talk. You like talking and that's cool, but I'm not listening. If it's for, listen, if you are a river rafting guide,

a mountain climber, if it's like, hey, you should wear clothes-toed shoes. so your toe doesn't break off. That's fine. Sure, sure. But like, you should look nice on the airplane where everyone will be mean to you and it will be too hot.

Yeah. You'll try to watch John Wick on your seat back, but it won't work. You should look really great for the three hours of your day that are the worst and that no one is looking at you. That's the best part.

Nobody's looking at anybody else on the plate. The person one inch to your right and one inch to your left, they aren't looking at. at you nobody nobody gets up it looks nobody gets up it looks at you and he's like well i guess we're not taking a group picture now everybody else looks nice except ryan what are the only things you get judged for on a plane they're going to be like man you know what that guy who farted in his sleep looks great in his suit i will put in one i will say this on one thing do you have your

shoes on sure but that to me is less about how you dress and are you dressed right those are very different questions. I will accept the argument of everyone who takes their shoes off on a plane should be in jail. They should. Plain is jail. So probably good. Already done. Yeah. What are you going to lock me in the even worse plane? What are you going to do that's worse than jail with Biscotti? I am already detained. What more can they do to me? You know what we need to do? This would be kind of unwieldy, but is there some way to transport this entire class of pundits over to like brand new taxpayer funded stadiums like jerry jones put a lot of work into this stadium and he deserves more than to see you roll up with your sweatpants that have the cowboy star

right over your squirrels yes yes men shouldn't wear shorts to nfll games because it's a business trip the team came here in suits why can't you where's your where are your beatshead phones in suitcase the next level of super fan events that we, these are the only social events that we have anymore. Why not turn these into the ballrooms? If I don't see, if you're not wearing a fucking Empress Josephine Ruff, I'm not getting up to let you pass me with

your nacho tray. It has always been so weird like that was the weirdest part about the entire Mark Dantonio era at Michigan State. It was that he was like they suspended a partner for not wearing a tie. Yeah, you got to wear a tie. I forget who it was, it was a lineman, but like very early on in his administration he suspended

a starter who did not wear a fucking tie. Like if we wanted us free to Well, that's alignment. You don't really want to make I wear a tie. Imagine sitting through a Jets 12 to 9 loss and being like, Jesus, I got my tux dry cleaved for this. I've wrinkled my best taffeta. Fuck you, Cleveland.

Why did I wear my opera slippers? Fuck you. I'm rolling up to Rutgers, Iowa, in an overcoat. Do you know how I think we'd have because of how many dress shoes would stick to the floor in a given stadium? I like Holly's suggestion. I think this should be NFL only. that also fits like the NFL's like this is the league this is the shield you know like yeah if you want to play the national anthem everybody has to be informal wear we also need to I think export this to the NFL because like wearing a suit and sunglasses to the game just so you can take pictures of yourself that's already Ole Miss so we already have that this is also the only sport I can think of where a coach tried to dress nicely Mike Nolan tried to dress nice nice

for the 49ers and the league was like put on this baggy hoodie you piece of shit you're not better than us they made him wear a Reebok branded suit with a gigantic liners logo on it like he was broadcasting for ABC Wild World of Sports yeah put on this branded rain jacket you're fucking piece of shit

there's something in football brand that's like you need a special jacket for a special job I don't know your piss of it looks like a dirt bag so Why don't you? I want to see the players' butts, not yours. Me petitioning again to make every football coach wear the football uniform like a baseball manager. Baseball can be played in suits. It should be.

I think they'll be more popular. If they're going to keep interrupting my Wake Forest games to make me watch it, I better see people looking nice. I think I think. Oh my God. Ryan, do you know what we've just invented? What? The Mets ball. The Mets ball.

The Mets. What are you wearing? I got a... It's who are you wearing? I got some Russell athletic. They're a little stained. Yeah. Who am I wearing?

Daryl Strawberry, of course. This is an original Stozy. That's a dumb question. Who else would have you wearing? Is that how you say that? I have no idea. I think it's Stozy, but I've also heard Stessie, and I don't like Stussie, so I'm going with Stucy.

It was definitely always Stozy. It's got an o'clock. I think that's the first time I've ever said that out loud. Stozy? Yeah. It sounds so wrong. I'm really regretting saying it. It's not a good way to say it.

No, it is really not. I've never considered this. I know that there's a significant on either side of the age group here. There's some portion of the listeners that's like, what the. fuck are they talking about right now? Try it in Bill's accent from True Blood. Google says Stoosie.

Stoosey. And the recommended question on Google is is it pronounced Stoosie or Stozy? Thank you, Google. But the answer is, again, Stozy. The Metzgala. This is why I'm not worried about Skynet.

We have like, the AIs have been so polluted with our dumb shit questions that they can't focused long enough to destroy humanity. Too stupid to destroy the world. Siri, I need to know. Siri, tell me. T-800, what does Yaga stand for?

What does what stand for? Oh, God, that's what I mean it. I didn't hear him. Yaga. There was another terrible T-shirt brand of the same ilk. That might have been Florida only. No, it was Florida. Yeah, Florida had all of those.

brands. If Florida had a brand you weren't really sure how to pronounce, and it was on, usually on the back. I was like, Baba Yaga has a beach wear line. He's fearsome and attractive. How many princes have you slain today, Tiffany? No? Why can't we get a yoga a alphleisure would be invented? Why can't we get a college football program sponsored by no fear? That's what I want to know. I mean, that's basically Ole Miss. Did you see those real tree helmets? I did. Yeah. That's stealing Mississippi State Valor.

Y'all can't, no. I'm stealing Arkansas State Valour. They asked this on TOL last night. How did Old Miss get the real tree deal over state? Yeah. Oh, that's some, my dad knows your dad shit. Yeah, my dad owns real tree. Yeah.

That's bullshit. It's incredibly mean-spirited, though. Y'all don't go outside. Actually, I believe that is the deal. Yes, we do. That's where we eat chicken fingers. They go outside. No, that is the deal because, remember,

remember Old Miss was at the College World Series? and one of the guys who bought like a shitload of jello shots was the real tree exactly i thought it was the ducks unlimited guy yeah it was one of those guys but like they were all there right hey i have a grooming voicemail uh 512 meredith the real tree CEO and founder played wide receiver for the rebels in the early 1970s what that's really got sting this is inside job his name was bill jordan is so it's like heisted valor oh garbage fake tree can we start

can we start a cheaper brand called fake tree is this our business idea this week fake tree we can put it on production as soon as I because I've silently also invented the Empress Josephine Ruff that has nachos in it yeah like a feed bag so drinking some just kind of drinking some Chad toxic masculinity fuel in a tree stand wearing some fake tree people we got more angry messages about the toxic masculinity energy drink

y'all need to shut up and drink some toxic You know what it sounds like you need It's a market is what we got Hey all Meredith's here I'm a zoo grad Don't want to talk about it But do you want to say my mom lives in Stillwater

And she saw Gundy at At the Walmart a couple days ago And she says his hair is real flat in person Or maybe she's just that big I don't know. Flat hair, Gundy. Happened. Damn.

She's calling Mike Gundy's hair a false flag. Mm-hmm. Wow. That's that man's claim to fame, too. Mm-hmm. It does look like he uses a lot of product in it. Oh, no. I think it's just, I think it attenuates to his mood.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. He's probably feeling pretty low. That's how you know he's not in heat? I think you're that horrifying visual We're ending the show there Not because there's nothing left to say But because I don't want to go on living

Never touch a Mike Gundy's ovipositor Never Mike Gundy's only do this when they're very Very stressed They only do this when they're very horny I think is where it's going on Speaking of guys who Just hand off to Barry Sanders all day

But that's neither here or there Although that would probably arouse me a little Watching him do his highlights down the field And thinking, I played a part in this God, he's best I'm responsible for this if you think about it Without me, you're nothing You would have been standing there all day

I made you Like an asshole! Like an asshole! What are you going to do? Catch the snap yourself? What? What? Oh, fuck.

There's only one set of footprints because I hand it to fall to him. I am the one who snaps translates into Barry Sanders. I am the alchemist. Without me, he looks at the snap and says, what is that? What is that? Just sits on the ground, useless. This is a great Mike Bundy voice and we should do it forever. It's sinister vampire.

or something like Gundy Gundy Olivia I'm already You've turned him into a Jojo's bizarre adventure character He was already Halfway, on his own Okay, one more voice

One more voicemail, one more voicemail One more voicemail. Hi, this is Holden from Nebraska. Hail Ra. So I'm sure that you've been hearing about all of the people here in Nebraska wanting Urban Meyer as head coach. I personally don't, but I've been trying to figure out a way to rationalize it for myself if we do end up making him the head coach. And here's what I've found. He's quit two jobs because they've almost killed him.

and Nebraska plays so shittily there is a greater than 0% chance that he might actually die trying to coach us and you know I think that's just going to be a benefit for everyone so I really I might be pulling for it right now

Thank you.