Shutdown Fullcast - Whoops, we brought back Big Ten football

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

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Welcome to the shutdowns to the shutdown full cap. That one took. I'm going to say nine seconds. It felt like a good 23 seconds. No, I mean, that one literally took at all. Oh, it recorded. Like that one registered. Delightful.

You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. Joining me, as always, is my co-host and the only regular member of this cast, Jason Kirk. Hey, Jason. Hey, buddy. How you doing? Hey, you know what? I'm going to give you an update on that in a while.

might vote on it might have to decide how i'm doing i might not i might get together and just reach a consensus with myself on how i am doing all of that could happen or none of that could happen it's crazy there's no telling what'll happen you might decide to at some point in the possibly near future decide to tell yourself how you're doing um and the fact of how you are doing might or might not influence the next steps in the decision process and the future of how you are doing it really is about process and to understand that process we're going to bring in a couple of guests as we often do one holly anderson say hey hey guys it's an honor to be here as always love you love the show honor to have you here also joining us uh also joining us uh also joining us uh New guest, Ryan Nanny. Hey, Ryan. Who's this asshole?

I'm busy reading about something called the trial of the five Catholic lords. Right. Thank you for joining us. What's it about? It is under the Wikipedia entry for something called the Popish plot. I was really hoping this would be on the Clemson, South Carolina rivalry wiki page. That would be good. The agitation of the popes.

I haven't read it all yet, and I'm not going to do it on the show here, because this is for me, not for you. So, um, but it, um, but it, um, but it was a, a fictitious conspiracy in 17th century England where two guys basically were like, there's a Catholic conspiracy to kill the king. And, uh, as a result of this, at least 22 men were executed. Fortunately, the world is different. Well, that's a good, that's a good start. So, so this sounds like very like tribunal and like, like, like there's going to be a lot of subcommittees and a lot of like just guys standing around talking to each other. Was this the original guys being dudes?

I think I think what we're saying here is the Vatican is the original Big Ten. Yes, and there are two, well, in this case, it's the English court because the Vatican was like, wait, what's going on, huh? I think in this case, the Vatican is actually the Pact 12. The Vatican is the NCAA and the English court is the Big Ten. Well, the English can't spell and the Big Ten can't count, so... Here are two good and useful. Wikipedia headings for this topic. Height of the hysteria immediately followed by waning of the hysteria.

I would love for us to get to the waning face. That's just like, that reads like my daily calendar. Can, so are we on the second or third re-vote of the Big Ten deciding whether they're going to play football or not this football? Well, a whole lot depends on what you mean by vote. and we thought ryan was the only attorney counselor kirk look at you embracing ambiguity is it really a re-vote if it's really just a new vote like i think what the big ten has innovated is the pre-vote yeah i like this i like this let me just let me just say i really the more this goes on the more and more I admire the pack 12 for just doing the damn thing pack 12 just hit eject man can I tell you the most disappointing thing though about the big 10 I thought these were all that's I thought this is one person this is personally disappointing to me

excuse me I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it that's superb I thought these were all the debate nerds and debate nerds are supposed to love like Roberts rules of order and you know explaining exactly how the vote happens and what motion you need to go what part of debate me you coward didn't take here like like did did y'all even do speech and debate i know you did because you tell us about it all of the time is michigan standing up like no this is a fallacy of the whatever a fallacy of the beard absolutely exactly what you've never heard of the fallacy of the beard lay it on i can't tell if this is a bit of i'm going to get the exact definition.

I don't want to get it right. I don't want to get it wrong. So this means like Lovey Smith is always wrong. Oh, I can't be right. So the argument of the beard is also known as the sole rights paradox. I've never heard that. And it's basically like when does a beard become a beard?

How many hairs do you have to have on your chin to go from you have a beard? You don't have a beard. There's the answer. Oh, shit. There's the answer. the other the other version of this is if you have a heap of sand and you remove it one grain at a time at what exact point does it stop being a heap oh this sounds like some michigan shit you are right it's extremely speech and debate shit yeah see this is how i know i'm like southern at heart and just an idiot because like so at what point does this interesting thing not become a heap i'm like it's a heap or it ain't it's a heap i'll tell you i'll look at and size it up and be like that's a heap brother When my kid runs this damn power wheel over it and turns it into not a heap. Does it make a kind of hump or does it make a bump when I hit it with my truck?

That's a bump versus a heap. Do you get air? If you get air, that's a heap. Can I do you or real quick to talking about hitting somebody with a truck? All right. I love to. Preface, are you about, you're not about to confess to homicide? No, but I would like to talk about the South Dakota Attorney General who

struck a man with his car and says that he thought he hit a deer slight correction and i yeah and i just want to point out one thing because obviously this is uh deeply awful how hard is it to either hit or be hit another person in south Dakota like there's a lot of want to on at least one side of this equation yeah this was like Novak Djokovic hitting the like lady with a ball in the throat right like you empty the whole stadium how hard did you have to try to hit somebody with a ball in the empty stadium in a fairly small part of the body yeah this is like the first two people in a state a large western state totaling their cars by running into each other in like 1906 yeah it's not it's not easy to do

that by the way he also hit his he also like in the course of this he damaged his car so badly that it could not be driven home like the sheriff loaned him a person which personal vehicle that tends to happen by the way yeah if you hit a deer if you've sure hit a deer that's they will fuck up your vehicle yeah but in this case a person did no yes or a shape shifter maybe it's shape shifter okay okay now i'm listening yeah i can i can tell you what uh if you look at the mugshot of this dude not even a mug shot i shot of him you go is this the kind of dude who would drive home completely absolutely this dude has more this dude has more skin on his face than face to a degree of what it looks like all of the features on his face are continental drifting

towards a point in the middle of his face yeah he has i think they're actually sliding too far down right actually yeah his his face is melting off his head like Peyton manning looks at these guys forehead and he's like yikes he does have what sorry to get political here but um he does have what i call gop syndrome which all the features congregate in the middle of his face i don't know what that is but it just always happens if you're a republican it does that you know just like i don't know if you're a democrat throw in any stereotype you have sensitive glasses or something or like m o o n that spells vehicular homicide yeah this guy looks like he looks like he stores beers in his cheeks the way that squirrels store nuts you know by stuffing them in their face yeah laying up treasures yeah so to go back to

the big ten the issue the first time around speaking of swerving speaking of cheeks full of fear yeah there you there it is thank you the issue the first time around roughly was the big 10 poorly explained its decision to cancel fall football um both to coaches and players within the big 10 and fans outside of that circle is that roughly do we roughly feel like that's what went wrong the first time? Whether they're bad at explaining stuff? Or that they failed to communicate. Yeah, oh yeah.

Sufficiently. Quite so. Yeah, and also. The conference doesn't employ any communications professionals, so it's easy to see how this happens. Well, I think the problem is they can't afford to hire those people. They don't have a lot of money. Yeah.

If they did, they could pay the players. Yeah, they just can't. They did. This is a classic example of the completely unforced error in a game they didn't even know they were playing like they really did get kind of they kind of got gamer gated right they really did

because initially they got gamer gated they did let him let him see let's see how it no no no they got gamer gated because no they did they did because you have a couple because you have a couple of attorneys who are behind the parents groups who are

really encouraging them to file suit and make some stuff happen so they can get fillable hours and get their names in. No, it's coming. It's coming. So it's really a non-issue. Like, you got like 30 guys in cargo shorts outside the Big Ten headquarters, which is empty. Yeah, this is what Nicole Auerbach brought up on Hand of the Dirt a couple weeks ago.

It was this beautiful little aside, and she was talking about the parents' group protesting about Big Ten offices. And she's like, I feel like somebody should tell them that office is working from home. Yeah. I'm really glad that nobody did, to be clear. Oh, yeah. So they're outside of this, like, empty office. going like we want culvers and um hang on hang on hang on hang on i too am doing this yeah i mean there's nothing wrong with standing around yelling about wanting culvers that's true uh and and so

really like the big ten hasn't made a big mistake yet they might have made what i would consider to be slight procedural mistakes and how they communicate with their members that's it but then they start making a series of ever bigger mistakes based on the slight almost mistake the slight mistake and now it snowballs into this massive deal which is far bigger than the original issue and which can be seized on for whatever you want to accuse the big ten of i disagree with your how you how you've characterized this because like absolutely within a day of this happening Nebraska, like, had let rumors slip out that they were like, well, maybe we'll just leave. Penn State's athletic director was like, I don't even know if there was a vote.

Nobody could agree, like, nobody would say, A, if there was a vote, B, who voted which way? And before the parent stuff, the commissioner of the Big Ten did, like, three different apology tours. Like, I agree. I agree that the, like, the parents thing is stupid. stupid in terms of like I they weren't even clear what they were trying to accomplish it's an incredibly small it's an incredibly small fraction of parents of students that got way too much attention for what it is so yeah I agree with like that narrow part of it but like if if this was going to work if you were going to sort of like rip

the band-aid off and get most Big Ten fans on board that would have involved saying hey let's all be clear this is what we're voting on this is why we're voting on it this is what we're going to say afterward and none of that happened so i have sort of a you know i might be right i might be wrong but my conception of what they ultimately fucked up in terms of having every you know having ducks in a row and all that was they were in such a fucking hurry to be the first one to be on the right side of history like they wanted to lead they broke from the power five in announcing they're changing the schedule, which they did the day after the Ivy League canceled football because the Big Ten for a hundred years has wanted to be Harvard, Yale, but with cows.

And as soon as they did that, you know, they did that at the conference level, but they hadn't done it at the school level, the president level, and surely not the coach level yet, you know, and like maybe it takes another two months to convince it, you know, even if not everyone, at least some way like if just harbaugh comes out and says you know that he's on board that helps diminish the overall amount of screaming somewhat you know and yeah it's not think the big 10 probably made the right thing for you know probably made the right choice probably for the wrong reasons and now they've made since made a whole bunch of other choices and it's a mess but they also like in the midst of all of this there's been like so much bullshit floating around

from the beginning of the decision forward with like everybody's leak like this the coaches all met and that got leaked the coaches have no power in this in this none whatsoever but like still that like makes its way out and the the big tens failure to sort of like put its arms around what's happening and say firmly like hi here is what happening what's happening like why is the this is the big difference to me between the Big Ten and the SEC at least in terms of how they would approach this the Big Ten would quietly leak like yes the presidents are meeting on Sunday and they might vote they might not the SEC would put it on SEC network the SEC would like say yes we're having this meeting immediately after that

the Commissioner's going on Paul Feinbaum and he's gonna tell you what we like the the Big Ten's reliance on like well we'll just tell our journalism friends and they'll get it out into the world is getting like 15 different messages out there from a million different people and it's letting like all like what did nebraska's ad today on a hot mic was like oh we're going to have an announcement tonight okay so about that yeah about that this is by the way so notice what the cc did cc punted ironically kind of the big tens move SEC ended up looking smart entirely by accident on purpose going slow kind of well no because their thing was like and we have we have spoken to people within the conference from which we have gotten this impression we're not just talking they have basically just tried to stay real real real real quiet until they figure their shit out and they accidentally ended up looking smart like they stayed quiet on purpose. they look smart on accident.

If they'd had to cancel, what did they have? Time. If they could go through with that, what did they have? Time. That's what they, the most valuable commodity in all this was time. Whether you were wrong or right. I could make an SEC speed joke here, and I will. But one thing they either grasped intentionally at the start of this or came away.

looking like they grasped at the start of this and at that point if that's a distinction without a difference is that it was going to be impossible to make plans for september in july yeah here we are entering week three and the SEC has played no games like still ranked though baby still i don't want to talk about it the SEC and the big 10 have played the same number of games but the big 10 canceled months earlier and is now scrambling to join back whereas the SEC has done nothing, you know, and doing nothing proved to ultimately be just as valid because, okay, now we don't have people, you know, people rallying and breathing on each other at SEC headquarters. Boom, right there, the SEC's keeping you safe by not making you scream in a stranger's

face in front of the empty SEC headquarters. How am I right in thinking that the Big Ten is now maybe screwed? Because the information has gotten out there that they're going to meet and re-vote and there has been enough sort of murmuring like the football accounts for at least ohio state and penn state and probably other schools have started putting out like hype videos about this to sort of imply like oh here it comes get your put your big boy pants on it's time to block and tackle again also to be clear we are recording this like during the it quote fingers vote announcement whatever yeah it's Tuesday night something's going to be different but Whatever the fuck is happening Tuesday night. We don't really know or care. Just, you know, Wednesday, all the Big Ten jokes still apply. So I care for this. Here's the only reason I care.

Can they even vote no at this point? Like, have they gotten the fans? And maybe the players and coaches so worked up about like, well, okay. You cleaned your room three weeks in a row, so I guess you can play football. Like, are they so far down that emotional path that to sit? no we still think it's medically on it's it's a medically and legally bad idea to do this would be just total catastrophe i think it's going to be catastrophe in terms of various political angles and collateral damage that nobody will care about like 98.5 percent of the people involved with

big 10 football won't care at all like it's a bad it's a bad like you'll see an article it's like you'll see an article it's like you know oh kevin warren's difficult first year no one cares like did i get football or not that's generally what most people will care about and ultimately if they get it that's fine because if the big 10 gets everything together when are they going to end up playing oh look about the time the SEC starts playing maybe a little afterwards oh it'll be cold it'll be super big 10 everybody'll forget it won't matter now for people involved politically i will say this. Who is out here making the most dissonant notes in this chord of disunity? Nebraska. Well, I would say Nebraska, Ohio State, 1A, 1B.

Okay, okay. So let's compare those two cases, Professor. Let's just open up the books and let's say this. Ohio State, a cornerstone member of the Big Ten Conference. Recent monopolist in terms of conference titles national power with garlands upon laurels upon awards upon plotts upon accomplishments okay the closest thing we have to real Madrid of the i 75 corridor north yeah that's what we're talking about we're talking about with the tax fraud if i don't know i'm guessing with the tax fraud and all of the fascist associations that come with it okay it's a compliment just take it yeah just take it yeah Yeah, just take it, okay? Like Francisco Franco, Woody Hayes.

Same person. Anyway, that's kind of on the way. Better hair. Better hair. Yeah. So Ohio State. When Ohio State complains about something in the Big Ten, one must go, Ah, take this seriously.

A paying member of the Big Ten for over 7,000 years. Ohio State. It's like Chin Dynasty, Ohio State. Those are equal institutions in terms. of longevity. But no, who's out there making the biggest mess of things? Nebraska! Recent addition, add on, I would say if this were the house, Ohio State, the hearth, the living room, where everybody gathers, maybe the kitchen, maybe where the grub is actually made, right? Michigan, Michigan's the fine study that nobody really goes to sit in, right? They're like,

look at all these books. It's for looking. That we don't read. It's the conference of the good chair. We used to spend a lot of time in here, but no, not so much. Grandfather, love this room. He's been dead for 30 years. He's been dead since like 07, at least. No, 07, that's the year. That's when we lost Grandpa.

Pretty early that year. So if the Big Ten is this particular house that we're laying out, Nebraska is at best the tact-on sunroom in the back at the moment. And that might even be a little complimentary in terms of what they mean. Nebraska, you're talking farmers. I think Nebraska is like, oh, we're starting a garden, you know. I was

going to say, like, separate shed. You were into it for like a month, that garden. And now it's weeds. Ew, spiders. You said separate shed, and all I could think of was like, oh, God, that sounds like a really just deeply bitter guitar anthem.

I was the garage. They're not the shed. Like, I was part. they're part of the house I was proud to be the garage I love how cold I love how cold this floor is I love to come out here and bang the floor with my hammer

How much money Hemmingway I can cut baby shoes Never worn in half Separate sheds And much like Sad Much like someone's garage There's a little bit overpriced stuff in there

You're like man There's a lot of expensive stuff out here How long you're on the hook for that one Yeah I got a lot of payments to go on this one. There's also stuff in your garage where you're like, it's been there. How long? You're like, yep.

Had the same edger for 30 years. I don't know how. Can't really get rid of it, though. Pretty good edger. It's not great. It's pretty good. Unfortunately, that coach is load-bearing now. I like the idea of load-bearing now with the notion that it has become load-bearing over time.

Yeah, like the entire state of Iowa is kind of just slumped on the Kirk Farrants's shoulders. But I will say this, though. Nobody ever looks at the garage and says, this room isn't doing the best it can. Generally, they're like, no, this is about what the garage could be at its best, which is okay. Not great, but it's a garage. Some years you put a pool table in the garage, and that's great.

Nebraska, you messy piece of crap, what on earth are you doing? You have no credit. None. You absolute garbage scows. And on Scott Frost Day, too. You freeloaders, you carpetbaggers. Happy Scott Frost Day, everybody. Oh, excuse me, yes.

To those who observe, happy Scott Frost Day. You, Aerevice, Johnny Come Lately's to the conference, okay? Ye who barely know a Bob Evans from a Bob Evans, okay? Oh, yeah, yeah. You, who until recently were hanging out in the Big Eight. Yeah, yeah. Who hired Mike Riley to fix things? Who hired Mike Riley to fix things?

things, okay? You are like two and three against Purdue. Where's Mike Riley? Where is Mike Riley? He was in the XFL, wasn't he? He was the Seattle Dragons coach.

We ask this every six months. It's good to check up. Yeah, it's important to maintain Mike Riley's situational awareness. He's right here. And he's the nice guy. Like, it's good to know where the nice guy is in case you need one.

You messy, messy, messy, messy hillbillies you've been trying real hard not to call them bitches and i appreciate that thank you i'm really have one you can have no no i'm going to steer into this okay because right now nebraska is a five dollar program that's trying to take out a hundred at the atm and it ain't work it i'm going to go ahead and take you to this one that they were one of the most vocal and the most angry and loudest factions in the big ten in terms of dissatisfaction over the initial big ten vote also in the middle of all this your gigantic dumb uh i'm sorry what was the guy i'm breaking

bad that scott frost resembles gigantic scary white guy who was also on uh friday night lights yeah he's kind of a big landry kind of a little block lesner yeah yeah big landry okay big dumb landry your head coach went ahead and guess who we had on the spicy nugs guy who by the way it was making fun at that uh city council meeting of black lives matter when doing it and has a history of extremely sketchy uh quote unquote activism in this department yeah you had him on to come to the team wait a second i just heard the hollering they had that guy at a school function no they did like they did like a supposed to be cheeky like fake press conference with that dude you dumb Yeah. Yeah. Also, you eat, you eat cinnamon rolls with chili, which I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying it's unnecessary. That's it.

Buddy, I think we found the Rubicon. Why don't you come on back to the table? Like I said, on the sounder parts of my argument, I will continue forward. But, but here's my thing. Take everything you say is true. And I think it largely is. What has the Big Ten done about it? Like, to me, this is. And maybe this is not a totally clean equivalent, honestly, because they may have been better since they moved. But this is like if Mazoo did this in the SEC. If the SEC, sit down. Right?

Sit down! Like, at least Missou's won some division titles. That's what I was going to say. It's like, actually, it's not as good because Missou probably has a little more weight to throw around, at least in terms of record. Yeah, I was going to say it's more like the Aggies doing it. Yeah, but the Aggies would be fun.

That at least would be fun. Also, they would have a better plan. And the Aggies are scary. And they have swords. Put their way over there. But they kind of constantly have the like, hey, we're all from a horror film. Look at our suits. Oh, pardon me.

By the way, what do I know that Texas A&M is going to write? If they can't do anything else, if they can't bust over seven wins for a five year, as an average over a five year period, okay? If they can't give me entertainment, which by the way, A&M, not always. always for their benefit is definitely an entertaining team from time to time. I will also say this. A&M is also rich enough to know to just let the lawyer sandal it. That's true.

Are you weird? Are you weird and entertaining? Absolutely. Okay. Sometimes in a scary way, to be honest, sometimes in a kind of frightening way, you're entertaining, okay? Do you know what Nebraska has? Bad memories and a rubber mascot. And balloons.

And balloons. Yeah. Spencer, Nebraska for the last like three or three four years has been really fun to watch like they've provided a lot of in retainment for a lot of again who live outside of outside of Nebraska right like occasionally a and m will pop a team that I just go man what a joy to watch not necessarily for y'all but sometimes for y'all Nebraska doesn't even give that right now they don't but you know what it might work it like it might work.

Nebraska might get its way. Nebraska might get to play football. Like, yes, Nebraska has been the loudest and most consistent agitator. Some other schools have been up there with them. But like, yeah, I'm fine if you want to say that they've beaten the drum loudest and longest. And this might be the biggest win in program history.

Not program history, but in like the last 10 years, No, she said that. Right, right, right. It's the biggest win in the, in the, uh, in the lifetimes of any current college football players for Nebraska. Yes, it is that. Folks, you can reach Jason and Ryan by adding Stephen Godfrey on Twitter. By subscribing to Mooncru LLC. There it is.

Oh, what's that song? Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I got to finish this up. And then we will get to this. Oh, God, he's still going. No, I am still going. I am still going because I am.

I am offended by principle in terms of all of the crap Nebraska is attempting to pull on this, okay, because someone needs to pull their credit. Pull your credit. Nebraska, you've upset. What's that number? You're at the dealership and you are not getting this car. Spencer, how, Spencer, have you ever done something that your, that your youngest son wanted you to do, even though he did not have the pull or the money or the contribution or whatever? I'm going to give the funny. I'm going to give the funny. as possible answer. No. Like, who would say no to that, by the way? It would be like, never. That child has never gotten a moment's satisfaction out of me. Of course. Yeah, that's with Woody Hay's dad there.

Do you think this is what the big tennis doing? I would like to talk about the sport that was invented in my home this summer by your sons called boxing, where one of them puts a cardboard box on his head and the other one punches him in the face until the box falls off that sounds right that's boxing why isn't that boxing it's a Canadian tradition there's a whole day for it so I wanted to take their Super Bowl that's all that Nebraska and their seal team six of PR okay hang on hey Bob's can we call them can we call them can we call them seal team Hicks yes it's pretty good No, we like, no, we like Hicks.

I know, I know. Well, he's called him Hillbillies earlier, even though they don't have Higgins. Yeah, I was actually, that's when I started to take offense, you will notice, because they ain't no hillbillies about them. Yeah, as, as people who were either born as were immediately descended from Hicks and Hillbillies, we do not mean those things as insults. Yes, you corn-hugging flat land fools. Okay. The Central Corn Intelligence Agency. Yes.

The Central Core Intelligence Agency, the brain trust in Lincoln today, did this. They did this. KATV reports. At 1135, by the way, thanks for getting this one off before lunch. I appreciate it. Just so we could get it out of the way.

Okay? University of Nebraska president on a hot mic, okay? On a hot mic said this. Yeah, we're getting ready to announce the Huskers a big 10 football. Ted Carter, Ted Carter on a hot mic before the news conference was like, yeah, we're doing this. It's happening. It's 10.15 p.m.

Has it happened yet, y'all? No, it is not. Ted Carter sounds like a weather man. I said it. He's not very good of forecasting, is he? No. Can I tell you this? Ted Carter, there's footage of him looking at his phone and realizing very clearly the moment.

when this hit the internet during the press conference where his head just goes like oh no no Ted Carter messed up that's what Ted Carter's saying to himself he's like oh Ted Carter Carter messed up today it's Ted Carter we call them the seal team shits yeah and how messy by the way this is my favorite thing about this every single person involved in this big 10 thing is like oh the conference is terrible with messaging then Nebraska goes out and trips on its own dick and does this is like yours coming tonight i wouldn't have thought i wouldn't have thought they had the length for that again if it works it's not going to matter if it works nebraska fans are going to be like they love us they thought for us they did it so we could

watch our under prepared team go three and five at best and is that that working i i think compared to the alternative it might be oh i mean in your best case scenario you have to watch your team lose why not just not watch your team at all well listen there's a whole separate that's a whole separate argument and now you're saying why aren't like why don't people have saner expectations and that should we can't oh i'm saying if you're a Nebraska fan you know it's not going to be good if you play football you just want to play football for the principle of it there's nothing to enjoy here you know that we're not so different you and me Nebraska nothing basically I love this though because I feel like there is a core of Nebraska people who if they hear this are

going yeah that's right you know what the season's about squatting yeah that's it squatting and get some reps that's it we're just going to get bigger I think you're forgetting that like people real people made of bone and blood mostly you and I and corn like win online and we're like what i think taylor martinez is a heisman candidate i think he could win it i can't control that that's not my fault but i'm saying but i understand that but like we can't look at that and be like well you know the season's going to go bad man taylor martineas through 56 touchdowns and 29 picks in four years that's the odd times that's a lot i couldn't do that yeah no that's awesome i couldn't do that that's better than eric crouch

Wow. Yeah. Now they're going to write. Folks, you can reach Jason again at Stephen. Godfrey. Subscribe to Moon Crew LLC for all sorts of. His name wasn't Eric Thro. Yeah. That's true.

Wow. Yeah. Can I say this, by the way, in conclusion, right? To this whole thing where Nebraska doing this is like Colorado coming in and being like, USC, I got a few things about how you do things. And you're the back 12. Colorado is like, oh, cool, see you. We'll see you next year.

Yeah, Cal's got some pointers. Yeah, no, like the entire Pac-12 was my favorite in this, okay? The ACC, Big 12, came out, and they're like, we're amoral and we're just going to play football. That's what we want. We like, we like, you know what we're going to do? Take a nap. We're going to come back.

See how this works. Y'all know what the SEC's doing? They're playing possum, y'all. Yeah, they are. Oh, man. You know what? You're trying to win. trying to win this thing in the fourth quarter is what they're trying to do.

I don't understand that reference, and I won't respond to it. Well, I was going to say the other thing they're doing, and I think we learned this this last week, is they were like, oh, I'm sorry, schedules full with conference games, can't play. We'd love to play non-conference. Just can't. We'd love to.

Hey, Big 12. Hey, Big 12, how did non-conference games tend to turn out? Is it a good idea to keep one of those on your schedule? Is that the right number to keep them? We'll just play the sunbelt. It'll be fine. I love it. I love the, but like, so the SEC with the, this is off topic,

but the first time for this program, that's ever happened. So the SEC, the non-conference thing, I love it so much because they're like, we're going to play 10 games, the hardest, toughest schedule in America, nothing but SEC teams. We're going to quarantine all our losses amongst ourselves. It's the only thing we're quarantining. But like, you know, there is no shame of losing to a different conference. It's impossible.

Like, by a definition, every loss is a quality loss because it's a loss to a team that's lost to nothing but SEC teams. None of us have lost to any Sunbelt teams. It's a perfect argument. I don't know why every conference doesn't just do 12 conference games and then call everyone else cowards. Yeah, I like it because it's basically like,

hey, did you like John Carpenter's The Thing? What if you did a whole football season like that? Alabama, are you the alien? We're playing Arkansas nine times. That's nine SEC football games. Watch Wilford Brimley gets, tune in half. This is, again, this is why Central Arkansas is the king of this year,

2020. Yeah, Central Arkansas is the team, because they're the only ones who are doing the Mid-South airline schedule. The only ones who are truly doing it. They're trying to win the SEC's approval by any means necessary. They are. Okay, you know what? I'm done.

I'm through with my Nebraska discussion. For now. You sure? Shake it out. I'm pretty sure, because you know what? They came in and they wanted the, they wanted the f-150 raptor you know what they're driving off the lot with used focus not even the rs that's what i'm going to let him out with got a got a car though got a car though you're in the league

mama he's bonified scott frost is driving that thing off going you know i want to get some sick exhaust on this i'm going to supercharge it and get up to like 240 horsepower it'll be landed gentry podcast business podcast business podcast business podcast business it's that business what's that business still mad about Nebraska so mad about Nebraska my God see yeah there's just phone flying offers is this about Tommy Frazier no man they were no they were awesome think either no they were they were awesome I got no I got no beef with

you know with Joel Maccavica how could you okay it just it bears asking that's all okay Jason

podcast business this program is a production of Moon Crew LLC a college football and stuff that's not college football media conglomerate bringing you

our items and products including the free mooncru.substack.com newsletter, which has produced multiple pieces of journalism within the past week or so. Spencer Hall has interviewed not just Joe Tessator, host of the world's most important sports program. Spencer Hall has also reported on Middle America, done what the Yankee Coast elites won't do. He's gone to, at least over the phone, to Houston, Texas to talk about, you know, hardworking Americans just trying to make ends meet, such as the end of a tree. in the end of a roof. Drop a tree on him, Wayne.

Technically, that's holy moly as well. Yeah. Also became an accidental overnight TikTok sensation. Yeah, because that guy, the guy who, if you go to MoonCrew and you subscribe with the newsletter, you can read the interview I had with Matt Bienniac, who is part of the family who owned a house in Houston that had a tree dropped on it by a man paid $1,200. to do a job that somebody else should have done, unless the entire point of the job was to drop a tree on a house

because he dropped a tree on a house. I love the quote in there where the man, the tree dropper apparently said that he deserved full payment or something close to it because he did like 95% of the job. Just like Georgia in the 2012 SEC championship. Trees down, ain't it? You didn't tell me where you wanted me to put me to put. You didn't say shit about the house.

You didn't say it had to go right there. Ungrateful. Call that landscape for Kirby Smart because he got, you know, well over 95% of the job done. He got, yeah, he got the tree down. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He did. And it landed somewhere for sure.

Also, on our newsletter, we have Alex telling the Big Ten exactly what it is, which is historically all-time, a mess of split personalities that will never reconcile. And that is why it is what it is, because that's what it is. what it's always been. And we got other stuff. Watch grid is back, top whatever. Uh, yeah, we got a lot going on in this letter. Also, we have launched our Discord, uh, and we enjoyed it this college football weekend.

And other days, it's been fun. Like it's, it's, no anime dogs channel though. Notice that. Yet, yet, yet. Yeah, we're looking into new rooms. We are testing out video. We did some video stuff, like 11 o'clock Saturday night. It was like, uh, Spencer, Richard and Alex were the, uh,

Mark May and Mark May. I don't want to say any of you was the Lou Holtz. You were just all three Mark May. Nobody's Reese Davis. No. No, we don't know. Reese doesn't deserve that. Mark May does.

Lou Holtz doesn't for one reason. Reese Davis doesn't for an entirely different reason. Yes. That's very well put. But yeah, we're going to keep messing with video. We're going to figure some stuff out there. But it's been fun. You know, and it's awesome to have a social network that is not Twitter.

Like to just, I'm going to close Twitter. And, you know, in Discord, everyone was talking about, like, mac and cheese for an hour. That's awesome. It's so, oh. It is really, really good to have my cannibals back. I was in, I was really bummed after the first Saturday of football, I don't mind sharing here, because it was so quiet. You know, there was not only, you know, did we not have Banner Society slack of last year, but I had no Alex, I had no Jason, I had no Richard, I had no, shit, who was the fourth one? Anyway, I forget, but the gang was all there.

I think it was Boromir. Yeah. God, he would take three fucking crossbow arrows to the chest and still be whining about his king. But yeah, it was really good to see all of our familiar avatars again this weekend because week one was way too quiet. It is really good to have y'all back. yeah and it's it so like the very fun thing about it now is this is no longer just a Saturday thing like we just it's just always open 24-7 and yeah that's been a whole new like sheets it is like sheets and like sheets sometimes you wander in and you're like I didn't

know this is on the menu for instance cornbread made from Gatorade for instance I wandered into the live events channel tonight and we got We apparently have the Jimmy Butler Appreciation Society going, which I love because Jimmy Butler's nuts. That makes sense. He's got multiple screws loose. He literally. He's got a commercial singing hauling up, though, doesn't he?

He does. He's like if, he's like if Tim Burton was in the NBA. He said, he's in a, at one point he went driving with an F1 driver in a, I believe it was a Ferrari, but, you know, don't quote me on that, super fast car at. speed around a track and it's gigantic jimmy butler crammed into this tiny little car telling the guy yeah man i drive a minivan and i feel like my stomach is about to come out of my ass yeah it's yeah it's beautiful so i'm just glad that there are other people who appreciate it for the price of three dollars by the way which you know one you probably pay for more things on the internet and two uh we're not

asking you pay a lot it's three dollars by the way three dollars that uh if you would like to join the podcast will remain free to you, newsletters free to you, et cetera. If you'd like to opt into this community, patreon.com slash moon crew. We would like to add more stuff to that over time. For now, this is all.

I feel really confident, by the way, saying that it's definitely $3 worth of entertainment. I would like to read you two Jimmy Butler sentences. He is good, he is good friends with Mark Wahlberg, whom he met while Walberg was filming Transformers, colon, age of extinction, in Chicago. That doesn't speak well of him. That's sentence one.

Your sentence two. Are we ready? The two have vacationed in Paris together. Thank you, God. Thank you, God, for this moment, for these friends, for this information that nourishes our bodies. Come on, you want to go to the Muse de Agu? It's the sewers.

They run all under. they run all under the whole city it's fucking incredible Jimmy Jimmy you got to see the Musei d'Orsay Mark Wahlberg at the fucking art day triumph like if I'd

fucking been here they wouldn't have had to build this thing because we never would have been fucking conquered to begin with the fucking fucking huns coming over the hills I don't want to be

buried in no glass pyramid I can't do this accent for no i don't think jimmy butler's above asking mark walberg to do quotes from movies and by that i mean movies that he doesn't even realize mark walberg wasn't actually in sure you i'm like mark de force gum yeah can you do can you do goodwill hunting i wasn't in that just do good will hunting like he's like i love you jimmy butler that's why i'm going to do he's like oh jimmy butler do you like apples oh wait a second do you think mark rides around on jimmy's shoulders in big crowds yes yes so that because everybody smokes in france he's going to get a cigarette in the

eye with his height not if he's riding jimmy butler he's up there because he wants to collect all the cigarette smoke there he has more access to all of it yeah they're basically the american asterisk i obelisk right yeah yeah this is beautiful i love it obelisk come here Um, yeah, that is... Oh, we're gonna fuck up some mule free. Uh, that is mooncru.substack.com. Go ahead, subscribe. If you don't like it, still free.

Free! That's the spirit. That's what, you know what? Like, I think it's excellent. I think it's fantastic. But even if you don't like it, guess what? You wasted a total of zero dollars on this, all right? Yeah.

Although you should spend three. If you would like to spend more of your dollars. Mm-hmm. Home, field, apparel. dot com big things perculating pop it is big new saturday week by week uh auburn just blew up auburn family came in and not in any of the usual ways build up that collection plate we get we the whole the mega church is building its own it's getting a secondary shed so to speak uh that's right auburn's buying nebraska you have it might it might could i don't

there's not many recruits out there so I don't know what it is. Please welcome new spokesmodel, Trooper Taylor. You could put a really good juco in Lincoln. Maybe that's what it's cool. Oh, that reminds me. Homefield should have duffel bags. Yes.

Up next for Homefield, we have Colorado State University. We're going to go back to the G5. Very beautiful color. I have a long thought. They have some, you know, one of the best color combos in all of sports. Some of the prettiest old uniforms in all. all the sports you can have a you can have a ram logo there are no other football teams with ram logos there used to be one in the NFL but now they look like like like pac-man is

is being chopped in half um yeah color out of state that'll be fun and exciting uh promo code as always for your first order i forget it's just full cast forecast full cast i've only done this like ten times yeah i've just no text in front of me it's all straight off the dome that's I got to spit this first. Hold on. Full cast. First, I got to remember the name of our program. I'm wondering suddenly why I laughed so hard when I heard an IMG staffer refer to us as psychotic thinkers. And I was like, that's funny.

Thinkers. Yeah. I will say this, by the way, the Colorado State gear also ram, powerful totem. Colorado State, located in Fort Collins, aka, you know, like, the friendly boulder aka smells way better than it than its reputation says it smells okay okay are there smell memes about fort collins explained yeah because they're close to like uh they're close to a major uh cattle processing facility and like it's just down the road it's not in fort collins so people sort of got them confused and they're like uh fort collins smells it doesn't it's excellent

and smells fantastic like 97 percent of the state of colorado okay maybe not right now that like half of it's on fire but still okay excellent town fantastic logos superb legacy including including the legendary bradley van pelt one of my favorite college football players of all time and the iconic college that guy homefield's got you you don't look good and people are going to think you're like kind of a colorado hipster because you didn't just get the boulder shirt that's like radio standard Colorado, right? Like, oh, man, you like Boulder. That's for gamblers. Yeah. Do that because Colorado's dangerous. Colorado State, dependable. Colorado State. Steady, reliable Colorado State. Steady reliable Colorado State. Three and nine. Three and nine steady. Yeah. Do you know how long it took,

you know how long it took Georgia fans to get fed up with Mike Bobo? Like a decade. I thought you were going to say, you know how long it took Georgia fans to get stable. Oh, we haven't gotten there yet. Hang, hold the phone on that one. Yeah. You know how long it took Colorado State? Like two years. They were like, no, man, we're fast. We're smart.

We're at high altitude. Our brain cells work faster. Yeah. So Colorado States up next. A whole bunch of other schools up next. Hey, if you are out there and you are a college, you know whether you're on that list or not, don't you? If you're not on that list,

you're going to be pretty embarrassed by the end of that list by the fact that you weren't on that list. Y'all going to let Auburn be. better than you do you know what they're like when they're better than you so live like that somebody's going to be the last school to sign with home field oh damn yeah probably before it's going to be louisville liberty after the rapture when all the other schools are i don't know about that louisville by the way don't know about that um might hold that thought i mean to me if if i'm say like a big 10 school that's agitating loud and long to return to play football and sure have a home yeah louisville

Oh. Yeah, if I'm like, oh, let us play, let us. And I don't have a home field deal. How much do you really want to play football? How serious am I? Yeah. You want to play football without snugly, comfortable, just form-fitting enough lounge apparel? You're trying to play football naked, you weirdos?

You need a soft, comfy hoodie on you. Yeah, you're in the Midwestern. God's country. How come, if I can, if I'm wearing a hoodie, then you, Midwest, man, you better be wearing a hoodie. Off the top of my head, we've got Michigan State, Purdue, Iowa, Ruckers, Maryland. What other Big Ten? You're missing a major one, sir. That it, no, no, no, that they're on home field.

Oh, yeah. Homefield School, like, am I missing anybody? Indiana, obviously, whoops. Sorry, that car. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Ryan, you just got us fired. Ryan, you erased Indiana football, much like Tennessee volunteers erased Indiana football from the football field.

Scandal. Maybe, okay, maybe we'll get lucky by the time this episode comes out, Indiana's joined the ACC. Where they probably belong. Yeah. Indianapolis is basically Charlotte without an ocean. An ocean within six hours. An ocean within a six-hour drive. I'm sorry.

How close is the nearest Caesar's casino? Man, North Carolina is a lot further across a drive than you think it is, as we all discovered after our Charlotte show. I would go ahead, by the way, and just conclude with this. How are you going to be a Big Ten school if you can't wear Heather? Right, beneath that perma cloud. How's it going to match? How's it going to match with your fine, how's it going to match with your fine B-1G attitude?

okay if you can't wear heather it just isn't it's stark that like there are big 10 schools that a sweatshirt manufacturer contacts them and they say no no we don't we don't know we have enough sweatshirts they make sorry no you don't that's like a plant that's like a plant saying no more sunlight play no no no more chlorophyll I'm good I'm good I'm good on chlorophyll all the time I love the the like the the gentle gray hoodie as like uh The opposite of urban camo. That's like rural camo. That's why you see so much in the Midwest, that gray, that gray hoodie.

Or you don't see it rather. I'm just trying to blend in in the sky. Well, you see him because you see the cargo shorts. Actually, I can see a big 10 plant going. Oh, that's too much chlorophyll. Too shall we? Mussel to be greedy. No, I'm going to go into a thoughtful recumbrance for six months.

As a Medell plant, I should nearly observe the sun. So you're saying they're, corpse flowers. I'm saying they're going to punt on six months of the year. That's, by the way, what is seed dispersal in a post-flowering phase for a plant, but punting? Have you thought about that? That's a Hail Mary. I bet you can track the decline of Michigan football with colony collapse disorder.

Oh, my blood actually ran cold. It starts with the bees, and it ends with Rich Rodriguez. It ends. Brady, Brady Hoke is merely the fingernails growing on the corpse. Ryan, please read a bunch of quotes from Wicker Man in your best Brady Hoke voice. Thank you. How did it get burned? How did it get burned?

He couldn't be in the Wicker Man because at the end of the Wicker Man, you have to put something on your head. Brady Hoke has to keep that free. No headset, no B-Cage. It's where most of your heat escapes. They wouldn't sacrifice Brady Hoke. They're like, it's too much heat for the winter. Need a thinner specimen.

That man's robust. These are more podcasts? That is the end of the episode? We have an important thing to note. We do. On this program, we are the historical timekeepers, the priests of the high church, the maintainers of the sacred oracles, the concept of Blood Week, discovered by Ryan a few years ago, and I have since,

adopted the role of like museum caretaker or something, because I have a spreadsheet, same thing. We did not get one of these last year. Blood Week, of course, in college football is a week when a whole bunch of teams in the top 10 and or top 25, mostly top 10, suffer harm all on one Saturday, just, you know, number one goes down, number five, number six, number nine, like that kind of chaos all at once.

We didn't get one last year, which was really unfortunate because we spent, you know, a lot of our weekdays building up the concept with a series of episodes you can go back and listen to on this podcast. Here we are, two weekends into the 2020 season, and we have already had one. We had number 23, Iowa State,

lose to the rage in Cajuns. Well, we had, I'll run down the, I'll run down the statistics. I was just hyping you up. I know we're calling it. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Number 23, Iowa State, lost to the rage.

and Cajun is part of the Sun Belt Uprising. You think that's funny, Iowa, don't you? Well, guess what? You were number 24. You are no longer number 24. You are out as well. That's two ranked teams now unranked. Number 22, Utah, number 19, Minnesota.

Perpetual teams who are ranked between number 19 and number 22 in every ranking in the history of time. God, Minnesota would love that were true. Well, it no longer is because now they're unranked. Number 16, Michigan, number 17, USC. You both tend to show up ranked, and you both tend to take a hiatus from the rankings at times. Well, that's already happened because you've left. You're gone.

Number 12, Wisconsin, number nine, Oregon, Rose Bowl teams. You're both gone already. Same weekend as all this other stuff. I think this already counts as a blood week, but we're not done number seven Penn State. You're unranked now. And what clinches it. is the biggest drop from ranked to unranked in the history of the AP poll number to Ohio State. What happened?

I thought you were good at football. You're not ranked. How can you be good at football if you're not ranked? Can I ask an anticipatory question? I don't know what that means, but yes. If the Big Ten reverses scores and says, yes, we're playing football, what will we call the week where multiple members of the top 10 and top 25 win, but because AP voters are like, oh, I got to put my Michigan in my Ohio State back at,

what are we going to call that? Bile week. Bile week. That's Easter Sunday, brother. The Buckeyes rise again. But then you'll have your doubting Thomas. They'll say, like, I'm not voting for them. They've only played one football game.

Right. Like, okay, come on. We all know Ohio State is one of the five best teams. We don't have to do this. Because that will happen. We will see that like, oh, man, here comes. Look at Louisiana. Sorry, here's, here's O&O Michigan knocking you down.

I think I could probably live with that if it didn't come with tweet threads. Oh, God. So if they're planning on coming back like mid-October, that's like three weeks before the first playoff rankings. So, yeah, we will see like 9-0 Army is bumped for 3 in O Michigan. That'll be fun. Way to support the troops. Yeah, I thought y'all liked war. Stories of war, not the experience.

So, yeah, that was last week. I mean, I don't know. Let's see. Coastal Carolina, Kansas. We were up until 2 a.m., seeing if Kansas could rally back and defeat Coastal Carolina. Buddy, the whole country was up until 2 a.m. watching this game. Nobody had anything to do. I was explaining why we were watching the Kansas game to a group.

of like biologists in my group chat back home. Yeah, the answer was no, Kansas could not come back. They lost by 15 to a school that didn't have football until the year 2003. To be fair, Kansas still does not. Texas Tech almost lost to Houston Baptist, which sounds like a megachurch, but in fact is the backyard of a CVS.

I'm not making that up. Georgia Southern had 33 players set out for reasons that I don't even think they've explained yet, even though we probably have a good guess, and they still beat the Campbell Camels. I feel like if you are without 33 of your players and you still win, there was no reason for that football game to happen to begin with, really.

My favorite Big 12 thing was the thing that did not even involve a game result because Oklahoma played in Missouri State. Hello, Bobby Petrino, killed him. Wasn't close. Spencer Rattler looked great. But before this game, like, I don't know, four or five days before, Lincoln Riley had said, we're not going to be releasing information about, you know, any specifics

about what our numbers are testing-wise, because we don't want to give teams a tactical advantage. We don't want to give, you know, we don't want to tip our hand about who's playing, who's not. People were not very happy with this. I would point out that the Big 12 is free to change that and force all teams to disclose this information whenever they want, and we should probably stop getting mad at, like, individual coaches who shouldn't be the ones making these decisions in the first place. But I digress because after handily dispatching Missouri State, Lincoln Riley went on to say, oh, well, we told them.

We just didn't tell the media who we had out. But we told Missouri State. Don't we're not mean. So cool. So Lincoln Riley was worried about like us, mean blogs. ruining his game, like I'm going to charge onto the field and do something about Spencer Rattler. Oh, God, he's been so cool. Lincoln, don't blow it now.

He's been talking to Gundy. I hope he talked to the team, but not Petrino. Everybody. I love that because that is the official story of how Wakey Leaks went down that everyone in the entire program except Bobby Petrino knew. So I think that is just the protocol, I guess. Also, Missouri State covered plus 48.5. Let's go. Champions.

I can feel Richard Johnson beaming from here. Notre Dame is 1 and 0 in the ACC. Who cares? Oh, I had a good, I had a good dumb moment during this last weekend. So after Iowa State lost, in my head, I was like, well, this is going to be interesting because this year, there's not enough happening week to week for you to sort of hide. Like the advantage of a normal blood week is that if you are. number nine and you lose number five probably lost and maybe number seven did too so you are not

necessarily going to get all of the spotlight and I thought well you know there aren't that many games happening their whole conference is sitting out so like people are just going to talk about Iowa State and then Kansas State and Kansas and Florida State like all all out it was like okay no there is still enough concentrated dumb to like give you something to hide behind

because I man Iowa State should be so pleased with Florida State losing to Georgia Tech at home in front of a bunch of people wearing masks like on their foreheads you don't want to be the first bad memory you just want to be the last bad memory

at the weekend nobody nobody remembers nobody remembers the first guy to crash the skateboard everybody remembers the last kid oh i get it now yeah yeah you just want to be the last memory because like honestly do you think most people remember those early sunbelt upsets like they might but they sure as hell remember a second year georgia tech team scraping out a win with pennies the coin star victory of the week given to georgia tech for pulling the 1613 budget win over Florida State who basically a battle of who is the broker boy of teams and Florida

State came up the broker boy it was yeah awesome is what you meant to say in the biblical sense sure incredible just me and Ryan annie in our in our camp chairs y'all go vacation in Paris watching Atlanta slide to the sea going Look at that. That rules. Never like those guys. Ryan, I'm really sorry because I just realized that makes you the Wahlberg, and that's not what I intended. That's okay.

Okay. I have a successful burger chain. Then you ride on my shoulders. Looking ahead to next week is like, man, it is like, I can barely remember the before times when we used to do an entire preview episode. Like, how was there that much football? How is that much stuff happening? Well, first of all, we skipped large chunks of it. Is the schedule all still wonky where, like, for a while it had Duke playing two games next week?

I mean, did they think it fixed? It would be about time for any Duke graduate to actually do some work. So hopefully they're playing two games. Wow. So postponed, it's like five games that are postponed, and that's even outside of the context of the mini-cancel conferences and the games that were already straight up canceled and all that. the games of actual like potential consequence you got Miami Louisville sure you know

Houston and Baylor were not playing as of this time next last week Houston and Baylor they they just dialed each other up on Sunday and said hey do you want to be Fox's biggest game of the weekend sure and so we had a game after years of like no we can only schedule games 35 years in advance turns out that was a fucking lie you know who it sucks to be right now a grad assistant Because they're the ones who the head coach is calling at like three in the morning and be like, hey, we just signed it. I need all the tape you can grind on Houston.

And I need it fucking yesterday. They have played no games. They've played no games. Hey, hey, watch every Houston game from last year. Oh, and they sat out all their players? Yeah, that's actually a pretty good preview of 2020. Yeah, just watch all their players high school careers. Hey, at least they're making $16,000.

a year yeah at least they get to sleep in the oh no holly that was reduced by 10 to 15 percent if i had to guess times hard meanwhile watch me by this boat south florida at notre dame that's a thing that's oh yeah remember when that happened on the u s a network we remember that happened because it's happening again and again we all remember why that game is on USA. Yes, because the U.S. Open at Winged Foot is going to be on the main channel. So they had to switch to USA, which is why if Notre Dame is losing to USF late in the game, I'm just going to start posting videos of me sitting on Mike Oach going, there's a jungle out there. You're losing to South Florida. I don't like it.

you heard it first here folks that's what you should it's a mystery to solve why you're losing to a team from Tampa Randy Newman's on your ass Notre Dame did you leave me any rosé not a bit

not a bit it's a mystery it's the jungle out there you got a friend in me So, I, I'm also excited two house. Jason, go ahead. Go right ahead. Jason, what were you going to say? I dare you.

I mean, keep singing, eventually, eventually. You're losing to a terrible USFT. Eventually, the free market of the podcast will decide. And, you know, one of us will tire out, I guess. It won't be him. I just wanted to point out that this weekend's weird late night game

we're going to the surface of fucking Mars it's Abilene Christian at U-Tip Kicking off at 9 Eastern on watch ESPN 9 o'clock on handjob hill You got damn right We're going to be watching U-Tip at 1.30 a.m. There's going to be people in the stands who are just like

What are people doing in the stands that laid in a U-Tip game? They're just like, did they bring their own concessions? Like, I'm bringing a hot dog stand and selling them inside the stadium without a license. I feel like, no, that's a thing. Yeah. No, you can do that. You're like, weren't you wearing a mask?

And they'll be like, why? You know, it's not even like, I don't wear a mask because the government. They're like, and you're like, there's a pandemic. A what? Somebody's going to be sitting up there with a coyote. They'll be like, is that your pet? And they're like, nope, but a new friend. Hey, let's see some ladies get jacked off this year.

Let's have some gender. Hey, you can tune into that on Watch ESPN. Go on boys, nibble on up under that cargo skirt. Nobody's watching. On the Watch ESPN app. Sorry for agitating for sexual equality.