Shutdown Fullcast - Your Moments of Limitlessness

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

Hot streaks are real. Everyone gets that moment - on a basketball court or in a casino or at work or wherever - where you just absolutely cannot be stopped. These are, in effect, the anti-disasters, in which you are the force to be reckoned with. We are here to celebrate those moments, in your lives and in the lives of college football players, even if sometimes they're just "I did this dumb thing multiple times and it didn't kill me!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

welcome to the shutdown fullcast you are listening live it's a podcast it's been taped to the internet's it wasn't taped it's a podcast it's been recorded digitally we hope the only college football podcast on these internets that part's true that's definitely true welcome and today we will be discussing something that we really don't talk about that often when it comes to college football or when it comes to life. We're going to be talking about victory. I know, winning, good things, triumphs even, moments of elation, the things that typically we don't talk about. Usually, this is a podcast about getting it wrong. This is a podcast about disasters. This is a podcast about the times when you fail.

Not today, dear listener. No, the forecast is here to provide you with the rarest of things. Moments of uplifting victory and overcoming obstacles. Or, in my favorite variation of this, getting so lucky that if your ass was on fire, passing rain cloud would put it out the same instant. That's usually the kind of lucky I get. This is why I'm still alive. Because a rain cloud put out your ass?

In a manner of speaking. Okay. In my case, that's literally true. On several different occasions. You are kind of the wily coyote of humans. You know, I didn't want it to be this way. Right. Right?

For instance. Who is your roadrunner then? My road that I'm constantly chasing. Your children? And yes, a lot of the times my children. Most of the time, it's doing one. thing correctly. Right. That's what I am.

Going to the airport. Now you don't, another thing too is that if one is not risk averse, then one might not experience a lot of these things, correct? For instance, are you asking me? Like, why

I don't have any, why I never have any limitless moments? Oh, look, look. That's Ryan. Head hot show at bannersociety.com. The parent corporation motherships. Yeah, you know, I'm just going to call it whatever. It's what?

The big cheese of that operation. We are a steel conglomerate. Yes, an international conglomerate. Ryan, why don't you have one of these? Or if you do have a moment where you simply could not lose, please share it with us right now. I don't, I don't. So when we talked about doing this episode, I, like, really tried to search through my personal history. to figure out if I have one of these.

And I cannot think of one. Oh, come on. You've played enough video games. You've had at least one time when you're like, I can't believe how much. You don't have a model UN story? Here's the thing. Speech and debate is a very hard thing to get your like, he's on fire moment.

You know? Like there's not enough discreet moments where you're like, oh shit. He's going off. Look out. Disagrary. If person giving a speech is best described as going off, that's often a pretty dangerous thing. I mean, in model a UN, it can be on brand. Tell us about a time when you, as the Finnish parliament, felt the need to do a heat check.

At all times. You're in Finland. Can I offer up a different kind of victory? Sure. and that is that is kind of a defensive victory of life for a very long time I was well this streak ended also famously a couple of years ago but for the first like 30 years of my life or so I was somewhat renowned within my family for getting into ridiculous accidents and emerging without a scratch I have been run over by a Volvo an old Volvo one of the ones made entirely out of like steel and cinderblock. I've been run over in a car wash by a Volvo and sustained only soft tissue damage. I put a rental car into a ditch on a washed out county road in West Virginia in an area thick with bears so lost in the woods that the state police couldn't find me.

and emerged unscathed, despite many hours of sunning myself on the hood of the car, like a bear dumpling. Thick with bear, thick with bears is a wonderful term phrase. My dad knew about the bears in that area and did not tell me until I was back home. And frankly, this is unlike him. It's unlike him not to taunt me in the middle of a dangerous situation, which is how I knew it was bad. I have I can't die basically and at the time when this is finally proven wrong I won't be around to hear you guys say no-uh death is the ultimate don't at me

this would be the Notre Dame to your Oklahoma right that broke the 47 game winning streak yeah from 1953 to 1957 Notre Dame so I don't have a flawless victory but I come from a long line of indestructible idiots and I've done so much stupid shit and i am still you've seen the rope swing behind my parents house yes you've seen the drop off that cliff yeah it's 700 feet it approximately we're still alive yeah jason do you have a moment when you just could not be stopped where fate decided that you were the juggernaut that all other things would have to part disease for i mean i've i've thought about this topic uh and it is difficult to come up with anywhere it's like oh that achievement and or failure

was greatly outside the bounds of expectation, you know, and if there were any, like, were they actually funny? Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I don't know if it's just... You fell off the back of an ATV once. Did you break both arms or something? Yeah, did you fall off the back of an ATV once? Once.

Okay, so now we're talking. streak. You might have a streak going here. I can think of one. I can think of the time. I can't even think of a specific time I fell off an ATV that would qualify. Oh, oh, I fell off a moped and shattered my arm. Yeah. Didn't die, though. How many vehicles, how many types of vehicle have you fallen off of? Ooh. Not too many others. We played a game in high school where we'd slam vans into each other. and you'd dive out the side door

and I think the main goal of the game was to see who could survive a dive going the fastest. Oh yeah, slam van. That's a great game. From the makers of slam ball. Yeah, we called it Van Tag. Bang, you're it. That's one way to put it. I did think of a time when I was a victim of another's limitless moment.

Oh, go on. So this is about the dreaded Todd. Todd. When we were children... For me of the full cast universe. When we were children at one point, he insisted that he wanted to fight me. I was probably 10, and he was probably 8. And so my dad said, we were in the house at this morning.

He said, go outside and don't come back until someone's bleeding. He's a good dad. And my brother immediately took off running because I was bigger than him and he did not actually want to fight. But he had grabbed on his way. We had this thing. basically a net with a rope attached to it. And the idea was, and it had a handle on the end of the rope. And the idea was this was like a soccer training thing. Like you put a ball in the net, tighten it up, and you have a, like a tethered soccer ball that you can practice like juggling and kicking and whatever. But it doesn't have a soccer ball in it at this point. He grabbed it in the garage as he took off. He's faster than I am. So he's put some distance between the two of us. And from about 20, feet away he turns stops whips it at me as hard as he can and it wraps perfectly around my neck like oh my god throwing a fucking bolo and like we had to go get my dad to help get it loose from my neck

it was it was fucking amazing can we have todd on the show yeah you should have ton on the show at this point. Limitless. Todd, if you're listening and you're not, you're in charge of Banner Society now. Yeah, Ryan is getting himself replaced by the dreaded Todd. So it sort of seems what we're looking for here are anti-disasters. As disasters are a key part of our lore, probably the main part of our lore, it's sort of looking at the flip side.

And often the noteworthy thing about the anti-disaster is that it is someone else's disaster. Correct. Or in my favorite thing about life, my favorite mantra to live by, a disaster in which nothing bad happens to you personally, and therefore you don't have to learn a lesson. Not one single bit of education being had. A lawn care disaster is really just a victory for Mother Earth.

That's correct. Annihilation, 2019. The main case of this that I wanted to talk about and use as an intro is, of course, Joe Burrow, Joe Burrow, who of course went from a mediocre good LSU quarterback in 2018. And then in 2019, with just a little bit of help, I don't know, became the single greatest college football quarterback for one year and that he's kind of on this limitless street going into 2020 because he's openly mocking the NFL draft process by talking. about a sweet tiny hands

which are only he's only got nine inch hands you have to tell us if you're going to do the accent no you can't just go god damn it there are two pairs of scissors within my immediate reach and he's got two femoral

and he has two femoral arteries yeah I was going to have to get both I take my embroidery scissors with my left and go in right behind his left ear I can then reach around with the pair of larger like sewing scissors and get the other side. So this is the problem with

Joe Burrow. Go ahead. Spencer holds still. I can hold still but you know you'll still because I'm on a street. It's called my life. But what inspired us for the limitless episode this week was what Joe Burrow did this week. Yes. Specifically referring to a tweet that Joe Burrow sent. Yeah, that he

had no idea how he was going to succeed with his tiny wee hands in the NFL and that this was just this was just just his 2019 season rolling over into 2020. When does this streak end? Oh, I have a good idea. It's probably when he's drafted by the Bengals. You know what?

There's a fatalism that is really interesting to see in a person so young in what Joe Burrow is doing right now because I don't know how he's going to do in the NFL. Joe Burrow doesn't know how he's going to do in the NFL. The coaches and scouts currently evaluating the NFL Combine, they don't know how Joe Burrow is going to do in the NFL, but you know what he's doing right now? he's riding a hot hand.

Aren't the Bengals kind of the LSU of the NFL anyway? Like some demonstrated- LSU fans, you can reach Ryan at 38 Godfrey. Ryan, I think this is racist against cats. I'm just saying like the Bengals had some history of success that was fairly distant. They, like the Bengals do not have a lot of seasons, at least in the last like 10, 20 years

where they're like truly awful. they free right yeah dig up i just i don't i don't all i'm trying to say is like maybe joe burrow can be to the bengals what he was to ls you sort of like the thing that breaks your reputation in a positive way they have won the same number of playoff games in my lifetime i think interesting so i am going to go ahead and and we can get further into the borough thing however as we always do at the top of this banner society dot com pod No, don't stop now. Wait, no, we have, we need to do podcast business before we forget.

You already forgot. That's why we're like 15 minutes into the episode. It's time for podcast business. Christ almighty. I like that you're doing. Podcast business. That has like a business. I'm still singing. Factory thing.

It's coming. Holly's got the details on our live podcast. It's time for podcast business. I've got. podcast business I'm your podcast business business for money

I was going to say you all said podcast for money and that can't be right no that's not hey internet you made it this far and now Spencer has decided that we're going to talk about going to Austin to South by Southwest where our actual parent company

Vox Media did not learn anything from last year's appearance and has invited us back again because they got to have some bodies and seats. We are, we think, performing on Sunday, March 15th at 4 p.m. at the Belmont. This is not in the South by proper ecosphere. You do not have to have a South by Southwest badge to get in. You do have to RSVP at the Vox Media site, and we are going to throw up. up a little form of our yeah yeah so you can get you can get to the box media site if you go to

scott frostay.com that we've already taken care of yes hit hit on scott frost day and go tell us uh or go tell our parent company if you are coming to see us good they love to see you and then separately we're going to put up a google form so you can tell us personally that you're coming because the tricky thing when you sign out for Selfishly does not include a spot to tell us if you're an A&M fan Right and we want to know right So by the time this episode goes up

That will be available at 25 snakes.com And as regular listeners know You can also get there using 24 snakes.com And 26 snakes.com So hit up one of these snake URLs or as we call them in Jason's house Snake Earls and tell us if you're coming to the show.

Unfurl the snake girl. And then put the box link and tell them we're coming to the show. We have two things for you to do is the problem. And this is too much even for us to remember. But the snake links will reveal all. We cannot wait to see you. Yes, I am purchasing snakes. Yes, there will be snake giveaways.

And yeah, come on down. We're going to horrify the normies. Also, no horse parking. That's, you're just going to have, no horse barking. No horse barking and no horse parking. Austin isn't really Texas anymore. I don't think we have to worry about that. It is Texas.

It's just Texas is like extremely nerdy, hollier than now. Austin is like Panera, Texas. Wow. Hurtful. Now. Deeply hurtful. Accurate. I regret to inform you all that that's my purse.com.

It appears to be taken. Dang it. Rude. An absolute shame. Hail Bobby. so what we uh what we were talking about joe burrow back to our podcast seamlessly back on the road watch this deft master of words and audio is this because you saw looked over my shoulder and saw me typing making fun of you for having forgotten you podcast i can see everything you're typing if you just

want to direct me just keep doing that that's a that's a good way to do it wait that clearly it doesn't work because 15 minutes exactly have elapsed since I typed Spencer forgot podcast business again. We're doing great. I'm like geology. I'm working on my own time scale here. You are a, you are a plate tectonic. Speaking of unstoppable forces. Okay. Can I can I say another can I mention here what my limitless episode inspiration was? Sure. It is Spencer, this might be my favorite thing you've ever written and it wasn't a season opener. It was a top whatever in the middle of the 2015 season. Guys, do you remember in like week 11 or whatever when the Michigan State kicker

upset Ohio State single-footedly 1714 on a game-winning field goal and a road game? And do you remember what he did after that? I believe there's a radio interview. Yeah, he went on Spartan Radio. He went on Michigan State's, I believe they're flagship radio station. and said, it was the biggest kick of my life, and I fucking nailed it. And Spencer's Top Whatever after this game had perhaps my favorite piece of writing he's ever done. You wrote a serenity prayer for Michael Geiger.

Would you like to read that for us? God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to go on radio, and tell the entire world honestly and factually about the times when I absolutely fucking nail it out there. Amen. I've carried that in my heart for four years and change now. Thank you, Michael

Geiger, for being limitless, one cold night in Columbus. Did we... Kishers can get on these streets? Did we talk about FIU's Kicker? The update? Oh. Oh, that's definitely my favorite

limitless moment from this past season. So, but do you know, do you know the, like, epilogue to this story? no so okay oh no is it bad so we'll go back so this is the story of f iu is playing miami in marlins park which used to be the orange bowl way back when um they beat miami and in the course of this game the kicker for f iu jose boregales uh throat slashes the miami sideline after an inconsequential extra point Because FIU is already... Ryan, why was it inconsequential?

Because FIU is winning this game easily already. By how much? I think they won this game by like 13 or something. Which Davis always did have a success in Miami. I'm going to read you just the headline of this Miami Herald article from January 12th, 2020. Former FIU kicker Jose Borigales put a hurting on Miami. Now he's transferring there. he's he's using his grad transfer year to go play for miami i mean if i'm miami's coaches i have a hard time

what if you beat what if you beat them and joined them the borgalla story oh that's i mean clearly miami needs some extra points yeah that's fair all they can take brother they're sitting on zero right now we saw that bowl game oh god how that is one of the great mysteries in college football is how does miami have that many extremely talented football players and no points seattle they ran into the louisiana tech bus saw that's how skip holds put you in the joke oh that skip holts is music it's the music that the funnel cake truck trundling down the street imagine skip holds imagine imagine shirtless skip hole sitting on you. How many points you could score? I said funnel kick truck and that

reminded me of another limitless moment from my own life. Yes. Which was not involving me, but in the early years of Bonarue and probably still at Bonarroo, there was no procedure for licensing or permitting food and beverage vendors. In the state of Tennessee, you say. I know, the heck you say. and some friends of mine got up the brilliant idea to just rent a funnel cake truck from a party rental company which requires no permit and they just drove it into Bonarue that they went and bought a bunch of one of them is of New Orlean extraction and knew how to make good funnel cake and he rounded up two or three friends they drove to Bonaroo in this rented funnel cake truck with like some flour and some oil and some powdered sugar just set up under a tree they made like

nine thousand dollars in pure profit just selling funnel cakes to stoned out of their gourd fish vizers the entire weekend and of course didn't have to pay or anything because they never bothered asking you know what you see a funnel cake truck you just assume that well it's supposed to be there it might be the perfect heist vehicle you went to funnel cake school, Shirley? I went to Tennessee. That is Funnel Cake's flagship university. Yeah. Remember Tennessee, University, Tennessee, founded on Funnel Cake and Paintball. And bodies. And bodies. That is another fantastic thing, by the way, about a moment like that. It's relatively small. Like, $9,000, you realize? $9,000 for a bunch of broke 20-somethings in the dead of summer.

It's a dangerous thing to tell somebody in, like, their late teens or early 20s that you can earn in a weekend. nine grand man i mean even split four ways that's a lot of i think the group at that point was about equally split split between bartenders and parking valets oh that's that's that's a lot that's like retirement money i'm 19 year old i'm figuring out how many funnel cakes they sold if they were that's that's 1800 funnel cakes at five dollars a pop which over a weekend actually seems kind of reasonable i would also they did this for like three years by the way before they decided that in my friend Jesse's beautiful words, I'm too old to poop outside. And as far as I know, they were never caught. The other simpler times, the other simpler time story I'd like to share

much in the same vein. These were people who were otherwise relatively normal people who stumbled on a brilliant streak and then got it and then never, never really equal their great funnel cake goodness. The Funnel Cake Overlord story of college football to me is the example that kind of triggered my thinking for this, which is Grayson Lambert. Y'all remember Grayson Lambert? Regalus. Oh, well, that'd be 2015 UBA transfer to Georgia, who was their starter? Oh, Lambert Grayson. Lambert Grayson, that's correct. I remember. The law firm of Lambert Grayson. Like all UGA quarterbacks, his name works forwards and backwards and can double as a law firm. firm and or accounting firm.

We specialize in Highlander law. As a Highlander hurt you or those close to you? You deserve compensation. You're back to the C law school. Wait, why do Georgia's... Does it seem weird to anyone on this Georgia football positive program that Georgia attracts so many quarterbacks whose names implied that they will go on to have

multiple professional degrees. Well, that's wild because Grayson Lambert's currently at UGA law. Are you shitting me? No, he's at UGA law. Which tells you a little bit how the rest of his 2015 season went. He's going to be Richard and we are.

That's true. He's 10.3 as a starter. That's not too bad, but those happen to be the three losses that finally convinced everybody that Mark Rick, who again lost to Alabama, Florida and Tennessee in that year, would never quite get over the hump. Yeah, Grayson Lambert had a moment, and that was against South Carolina. There have been a lot of offensive players who had moments against South Carolina, quite a few.

You might remember, Heisman Trophy Leader and contender Kenny the Thrill Hill, who after one game against Steve Spurrier's South Carolina Gamecocks was the greatest football player in the world. Are you telling me a September Heisman? Might have faded a little bit? Yeah. at what school uh that that'd be Texas A&M well I never I never it's as if they it's as if they spend a lot of money and then didn't get much back off of it something they'll never happen again uh Grayson Lambert against South Carolina he went 24 for 25 he hit 20 in a row at one point and beat T martin's record for completions uh to go 24 for 25 at 330 yards two TDs no INTs ran a nice little two-minute drill before the half. Clean. Absolutely clean. Maybe the single greatest, most efficient in-game performance by a quarterback in the history of the sport.

Did that mean anything long-term? Grayson Lambert is at UGA law school right now. That's the answer to that. Did he lose his job? Yes. Will he always have that moment where he went 24 for 25? Just a beautiful law firm of a man moving the ball. down the field without error and effortlessly. Yeah, you can't ever take that way from that, man. So speaking of South Carolina, the school that empowered Kenny Hill, Grace and Lambert, and so many others to greatness, it feels to me like the premier example of this phenomenon of the disaster who is suddenly not a disaster. This is the, what year was this, 2011, Alabama, South Carolina, Stephen Garcia, suddenly the greatest, most unstoppable quarterback in the world.

the guy who was suspended was it three times in one season do i have the number right it feels right i mean i don't know if it's possible to possible to libel him i mean he might get mad if the number is too small if the number i say is too small but i mean to me he is the arch example of this trope like like someone like joe burrow like most of his college games were good at that point at this point that's just who he is you know or is stephen garsia forever associated with one awesome day against Bama. Yeah, that's the, I'm looking it up here. That's the 2010.

Yeah, it's the 2010 season where his final number is 17 of 20, 201 yards, three touchdowns, and a pick. The best part about this performance is it is sandwiched on either side with the South Carolina lost to Auburn, and, and a South Carolina loss to Kentucky. There is nothing more limitless than beating the undefeatable, unsinkable, crimson tide, and then immediately going out and losing to Joker Phillips, Kentucky. Hey, y'all.

And also being the one who pissed off Alabama so much that they went and beheaded Kirk Cousins in public in either Tampa or Orlando, which are the same tone. So we asked our listenership for their tales of endless victory, random achievement, the moments when they simply could not be stopped. Three different people wrote in with stories of a claw game. The claw game. I think the claw game has a very special place in the heart

for a lot of people who like to wager and or push the envelope of probability, if you will. Well, it's the scam you can win. It's the scam you can kind of win. I don't actually know what the success rate is on Claw Game. I know it's enough to make people a little bitter, right? Like they'll sit, I've seen parents, not just me, also me, sit there and feed dollars into that machine until they come away with a stuffed animal. Because do you know the only thing that is more endlessly fixated on winning that animal than a parent who has the disappointment of a child in their hands? that kid.

A kid wants that thing. That kid wants the claw, and he wants it to pick up that little bear that you could probably go and get at the dollar general for like a dollar. You're both fixated on it. That's why we got three different stories. Ed Zirao.

LSU fan extraordinaire says, won the claw game where you fetch your own lobster at a restaurant. Okay, I was not familiar with this. Are there actually restaurants where you can fish a lobster out with the claw? That's, I've never seen it, but I have heard of this, yes. Wait, lobsters have claws.

They're being hoist on their own cartard. So I maintain that if the Floridians, the two North and Central Floridians on the show have never heard of this that it doesn't exist, but also claw games existing in restaurants plus restaurants with lobsters and live tanks that you can fish out, this seems to be a gap in the market that we can exploit. Agreed. I think we can go ahead and do this. We can do this with any.

We're calling claw claw games. I mean, this is kind of what Jurassic Park was for goats, right? That's a kind of game. I don't think that's right. So, apparently you can do this. He, see, Rao, at the restaurant, he won it four straight times, including twice in the same sitting. I don't know what the dollar amount that you have to put into the machine to try to get a lobster is. But if I'm working the P&Ls on that, it's probably a pretty hefty.

fee. Well, here's my question. What is the quality of the lobster that is in the lobster claw game? Are we putting our mealy gross ass lobsters in here or are these high quality lobsters? I think you can probably cut a little bit of corners on lobster quality because the victory of having caught the lobster yourself will serve as its own sauce. And also if you if you catch a lobster yourself and you eat it and it's subpar, well, should have caught a badger lobster, huh, dad? I am, I am happy to report. I found thelobsterzone.com. The maker. They got dot com, huh? Yeah. You can become a distributor of this machine if you want. That's got real dot biz energy.

They claim the the profit potential for this is about, you can make like $1,400 a month. per machine with this sucker. Let's go in on one. Ryan, is there like a home version you can put in your, I was going to say kitchen, but I really would prefer this in like front yard. Can you put in your driveway? I think so.

I think as long as you're like, right next to the funnel cake truck. Yeah, and it costs $2 a try to use this. Not bad. The lobster tank count should number between 8 and 10. Well, this is like a lot. There's a lot of work you got to do for this. this. I want to put one of these in a Chucky cheese.

Sure. Just kids running around, screaming, holding... Just loose crustaceans on the floor of a Chucky cheese. Oh, Spencer, I thought you were saying the claw machine is full of pizza. Loose room temperature pizza. You're never going to lift it up. It's too slippery. I think there should be a machine where children can try to take a giant claw and pick up other children and put them in a box and then to get them back or leave them there's a fee either way wait okay a franchise where you can pick your own pizza toppings all the toppings on your pizza are free but you have to catch them with the claw machine with claw machine yeah yeah you have like

this is the melting pot 2.0 is what I'm saying giant puddle of cheese molten cheese that you're just dropping the melting pot the grasping pan see i'd be too tempted to drop a t 800 action figure into it to just see if it'll give me a thumbs up on the way down you know saving us how much money would you pay for that realistically would you pay $800 to make that happen no no no are you sure uh can i expense it what about $79999 does that make it sound better Do you think we can convince Fox Media in the short time we have to set up one of these at South by Southwest with the proviso that winners, like, this makes sense at a restaurant where they're like, great, we'll cook that lobster for you.

That is not what we're offering here. You can just win a live lobster, then you have to keep it. Ryan, are you not taking the lessons of the funnel cake impresarios to heart? Just show up with the lobster machine. Just show up with the lobster claw machine. and say, oh, that's on our agenda. Yeah. Just show up at the intersection of tech, pop culture, and lobsters.

Tech, pop, call. Hey, they said it's the deep end. What's deeper than the sea floor? Wow. Whoa. Yeah. Other tales from The Claw, because people have a very, very specific, like, soft spot for the Claw game.

This is from at Jack Mushy. I hit the Claw machine at a Godfather's Pizza six or seven times in a row, walked out of that joint with six new stuffed friends. I've never been more alive, absolutely. What is, what I don't understand is what is the incentive to go back for more? Like once you win the claw machine once, what, it's not like, like we have other stories here of gambling in sports and things where like winning always feels good. Is it that, like, what are the diminishing returns on claw machine?

It's called greatness, Ryan. This is why Nick Saban hates winning national titles because they cut into the recruiting for the next one. Right. That damn pink unicorn. cost me a week of recruiting. That's true. Every time, every time like Kirk Herb Street is asking you about the lobster you just caught, that's time you could be spending catching more lobsters. Also, each time you pull a stuffed animal from the claw machine, you have decreased the overall altitude of the pile, thereby meaning you have to reach further. Each one gets more

difficult. It's about challenging yourself. Wow. Imagine trying to get the last stuffed animal out of the claw machine. You do that. You're a fucking legend. That does sound like Nick Sabin. I wonder, is there a point of, a big part of strategy in the claw machine is deciding what to go for? Does the last animal in the claw machine actually become somewhat easier by virtue of removing option paralysis? Maybe, but I'm also going to wonder if it's in there because it is one of the slipperier ones to get. Yeah, that's a survived. If it's like a stuffed, if it's something cylindrical, like a stuffed dolphin or something. I will say I would immediately ride for the high school recruit

who makes his announcement on signing day via claw machine just to watch like people wait 30 minutes and him having to keep pulling out dollars so he can get like the Clemson Hatter. No, no, wait. This is how coaches should get to. This is how the NFL draft should work. This is like how you get your draft spot or how you draft a player.

You want Clyde Edwards-Elair? You got a fish for him. now when you say him do you mean the literal human or no i mean the owners let's make them work for a living right but are they like using a giant like construction claw to cluck to pluck a human or just like a doll of clyne edward z layer um i don't want to damage our our beautiful post grad football players they have for the most part done nothing to anger us at this point so you know maybe maybe that's their hat that they put on on draft stage i will i will approve of this so long as we keep the time limit of the NFL draft so that if you go through your 10 minutes or whatever and you don't get something out of the claw machine somebody else is up sorry Vikings you're still screwed no matter what you're fucking chance I um I think I like the the signing day one a lot just because imagine the player who keeps grabbing the USC logo and having to pretend to accidentally drop it oh oh so close oh shit I almost had it oh dang it I almost had it again time

ran out anyway. I guess I better fight on. Heck, this thing is so slippery. I just can't keep hold of it. Anyway, I'm going to Oregon. See ya. I just thought one really great strategy on that day would be to coat the player's hands in Novocaine so that they could not grab a rival's hat or yours. This is like, I can't say it out loud. I got to pull a hat. I feel bad saying this when, you know, I feel like this is a butt idea I've inadvertently stolen, but this is also how you become a like a low-key bag man, right? Because you're like, Hey, go play this claw machine. This is the animal you want to go for.

Trust me. I have one more in the claw game category, which is probably the best prize out of all of these. At probably Monty, on one of my first days with a girlfriend, I walked by a claw machine and flippantly claimed I could win it. She scoffed, and I was offended. So I put a quarter in and played. This won't be the most improbable story you get,

but she's now my wife and we still have the bear I won. Aw. Monty's wife, you could have held out. Wow. Can I give you the most improbable or at least the one where I have the most follow-up questions? Yes.

This is from at Bo Spooky. I fell through three windows in one summer and never got a scratch on me. So much left unsaid here. Was this three windows in one incident? was it spread out was it two and one also how does one i guess like i can understand how you how does one fall through three windows like you could be pushed on this podcast before of the skylight faller right the guy at the boston marathon yes but that makes sense because he

was on top of the skylight and fell through it's hard to do that with a window Didn't Robert Kermitchi do this? But I forget if he was like jumping out of the window and like got caught or something. That sounds right though. I don't think it was... How many of these falls were of his own accord and equilibrium unbalance and how many of them

was he thrown through? Right. Was he interning with John Wick? His name is spelled Bo as in the LSU spelling of Beau so possible. Yeah, and that John Wick School. And that does... Oh, I'm trying to imagine Cajie.

John Wick, Jesus Christ. That's, they've already done that. That's hard target with Jean-Claude Van Dam. His name is Jean. Yeah. Makes perfect sense. I enjoy that, I enjoy that in the promo for that film, Jean-Claude Van Dam said that being a native French speaker

really helped him understand the heart of Louisiana. He's from Belgium. Am I correct in thinking that this is the film in which Jean-Claude Van Dam catches a snake and then punches it? That is correct. Which part of the snake? The head. The face and head of the snake.

He holds a rattlesnake in his hand, and then he punches it and knocks it out. That's not polite. While having a glorious mullet. I mean, a full, there is a cord of alvelyan in that thing. It is greasy. It is huge. It is beautiful. It is a very native French speaker in that you are rude as shit, Jean-Claude.

It is a very, like, Pittsburgh Penguins' mullet that he has in that. It's great. Yeah. That's also how you know he's not from Louisiana. He punches a snake instead of. of appointing it to an important state office. Then punching it. I have another one, which is maybe one of my favorite.

Some of the category of actual sports here. And this one was from at Chicken's Sedan. In college, I scored four tries in the second half of a rugby game to help our team come from behind to win. I mean, that's impressive. That's unstoppable. It gets better. I weighed all of 150 pounds.

If you've played rugby, I know this guy. And the guy that Chicken Sedan was playing the part of that day was the tiny person who hits like a giant truck. The physics don't really sort of explain themselves. I don't really know how to put the math on the board and make it make sense. But if you've played rugby, there is always a guy who weighs about 140, 150 pounds. When he hits you, it feels like death. and sadness in every single molecule of your body are exploding at once.

Sonic the Hedgehog ain't big. That's true. He went full Sonic the Hedgehog this one. There's another improbable one down here, which comes from at Patty Takes 2.13. In college, I threw a no-hitter, an intramural beer league slow pitch softball, where the point of the game is to pitch the ball slowly. So then it can be hit. Yeah.

everything the other team hit went directly into the gloves of one of the position players. I adore this because it is the lowest effort form of unstoppable perfection that can possibly exist. It's like napping perfectly. You just threw the ball up there in a, again, slow pitch softball and nobody could hit. As good as this was for you, Patty, this had to be like pulling teeth for the other team just an endless frustration no see see I bet I bet at some point they were like can we do this can it's like they're a part of it because it's not like oh strikeout strike out strike out strike out they have a role to play here and so in some ways they were as important if not more than the defense I pitched a no hitter and t-ball that's what this is

it's damn near impossible and yet the man did it salute patty i am in awe of you and of the incompetence of the team that you were playing can i read one from the uh video games category here sure please yeah uh from it reminded me of one that i'll share uh from r t r fn d when i was young eightish probably i was playing marvel versus capcom in an arcade which at that point I did by pure random button mashing. Older kid approach, asked if he could play. I somehow managed to beat him. He left in return with an even older kid,

perhaps even a high school kid, who also fell to the random button masher. Spencer, can we read your note by this as well? Yes, Capcom, Marvel versus Capcom, it had a tendency to do this because I did this as well. I hopped on Marvel Capcom one day and took on like seven straight people at the pool right

one summer when I was about 11 and I had no skill at this game whatsoever and something inhabited me that day possessed my soul and through these fingers whipped enough ass that people stopped coming up and then the next time somebody's like oh that guy's really

good I got my ass kicked I have no idea it came and it went I lost it it was as fleeting as the blossoms of spring just it strikes me that that there is something particularly, like, if you want, like, a little glimpse into it, what does it mean to be American? It is to go to a pool or a beach or a water park

and play and go to the arcade. Like, that is the thing I have also done. And I am aware that it is a thing that many people have done. But the idea of like, yes, we're going to this outdoor water-based thing and we're going to play video games. Yeah. That doesn't happen in Spain. That doesn't happen, you know, in South America. It means your parents said, it's 85 degrees outside, get off the video games, and go play at the pool. And you say, ha, nice try.

Ha, I mean quarters for Dr. Pepper, supposedly. I mean, there is an athletic element if you have what we had, which was an improperly grounded Ms. Pac-Man machine. Oh, I thought you were going to say asthma. That asthma, too, because, you know, you get huffing and puffing pretty hard if you're a fat kid, with Asma playing Marvel v. Capcom. But I don't know what it was about that game in the X-Men game.

An amateur could hit a hot streak on that game and do real damage. How many times do you reckon I have personally knocked you or one of your offspring off the course within side of the finish line and Mario Kart using a green shell?

I'm tracing a little infinity symbol of my finger in the air. That might actually be my most limitless skill is dead shot with a green shell. Yeah. Not even sometimes for the win, just for the spite. I really respect it. Oh, it's never for the win.

It's always for the spite. The win is incidental. Yeah. Occasionally. The other video games one that I, we have here that I really respect, that was Adam.h. He needed an entire playthrough of need for speed most wanted where he didn't lose or have to restart a single race. That is, if you've played any one of the-

mild me is shuddering. Yeah, that's, and that's deep, that's dark, and that's impressive. I tip my cap to you, sir, Adam, because, yeah, damn, that's incredible. I have another one where I won 24 games straight in RBI baseball versus my dad, because we kept score and played a full season. And in the 24th game, I was losing by two going into the bottom of the ninth. And I had Spike Owen, who was a. Red Sox shortstop known for his fielding, not his hitting.

In the game, I believe he had 2.31 as his batting average with one home run, reflecting his actual production in the 1986 season. There was, there were two men on and two outs. And I hit a home run with Spike Owen, and I broke the controller celebrating, which did not even diminish my joy at this, how mad my dad was, that he was going to have to figure out how to buy a new controller. It was, you know, it was like when the Nintendo came out, there was no Amazon. we didn't know how these things happened you're like I write this man in Japan you go to service

merchandise I go to service merchandise and buy a bootleg controller the um the season this the season long when that lines up with Thor and I was going to share I um I have never been like especially impressive at uh I've always been serviceable at video games like no matter how much time I put into them it's good enough is all we're going for here um I got into this would have been 2009. I got into a 32-person Madden League with like, dudes who took the shit, like showed up the day it came out and played like eight fantasy football leagues and all that stuff. And I just like, no, there's no way I'm going to out, out tactic or out joystick these dudes. So what we're going to do is we're going to beat them with strategy. Fantasy draft,

I decide, all right, they're all going to chase after quarterbacks, skill players. We're going all defense, all running. I picked the Buffalo Bills because I wanted the worst weather possible for every game. I went, Ed Reed, Patrick Willis, Kevin Williams is my first three picks, which is like in the year 2009 and an incomprehensibly good backbone to a defense. Picked my entire starting 11 on defense first with the exception of a left guard and left tackle. were my only two especially good players on offense, waited until they had all picked all their quarterbacks

because I knew my guy, Pat White. My backfield was Pat White and Jarius Norwood, who were incredibly good athletes who had like no awareness in the game, which is very rude of the game, but you don't need awareness for the players you're controlling. I applied this on defense by picking Mike Mitchell of the Raiders. Remember him?

No. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. He was the one who the Raiders drafted like six rounds early and like Mike Mayock and Mel Kiper were like flipping through their notebooks like, who is this guy? Because he ran a four three nine. So I drafted this dude free safety. I'm going to control him every game. He's going to flash the line of scrimmage and make all the tackles. It doesn't matter. He doesn't know how to play football because I know how to tell him which buttons to push. And yeah, we completely dominated, obliterated. my defense would often outscore these offenses by these kids who were using, like, you know, all the max hacks, unstoppable plays. And it was, it was, it was, it was a revenge for, for slow thinking over fast twitch muscles. What was the average, what was the average score in those games?

Oh, it was a total annihilation. Like, um, the closest anyone got was within a touchdown. And that was because I was using like the one bullshit option play. because I was bored I was fumbling backwards the entire game like there was one like hacky RPO like it wasn't supposed to be an RPO and I was just messing with it

the entire game but otherwise just absolute annihilation I'm very proud of it as you can see and you should be proud because I bet they despise playing you oh yes yes Pat White it had to have been a 6,000 yard season for him all total

I would really like I would like to take it to the dumbest variation of unstoppable It's actually statistically completely insignificant. This is the one nearest to your heart, isn't it? Wagering. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

The best one. I'm going to start with the best one. It comes from Atlanta beer snob. Got on a heater at Binions years ago. Let's explain Binions. Binions used to be the place where they had the World Series of poker. It's a very old casino on Fremont Street. It's in Las Vegas.

It's in Vegas. It's in the old part of Vegas. The part with the cool neon roof, where if you go into any of the older casinos, people really smoke. I know people smoke all over Vegas. They're super smokers. They send you down to Fremont, right? If you walk in and you're like a three pack a day smoker, they're like, oh, buddy, Fremont's waiting for you. Binions featured largely in our 2006 sporting news feature on the saddest sports books. Yes. Binions also, when I went there, was a week later shut down by the IRS for unpaid back taxes and other accounting irregularities in coordination with the Nevada Gaming Commission. That's how you know it's good. Got on a heater at Binions years ago. Rolled for about an hour. Diamond Dallas page hopped on the table right as I started. Oh, God. That's how you know Destiny's riding with you that night. That's a famous person, right? When WCW's, like, greatest legend, perhaps, steps up to the table. The greatest yoga master in wrestling history. I choose to read this as he literally hopped on the table. He very well might have.

He might have with the belt, right, doing the diamond cutter logo, right? Brought up the rock. He really might have been doing that. That's how you know. Like, if you're rolling craps and you're doing pretty well, and all of a sudden, like, someone from WCW shows up, God's with you there that night and he likes you. What if it's sting?

If it's sting, I don't know. Then it can really go either way. Are you wearing an NWO shirt? Are we talking like, are we talking like surfer dude sting or like crow in the rafters sting? Crow in the rafter sting. If he shows up, don't be wearing an NWO shirt. That's all I'm saying. Because like if DDP is there, it will be very positive vibes.

You will probably learn workout tips and your roulette experience will go awesome. if like fucking buff bagwell is that is going to bomb everyone out your vibes are going down who's the worst wrestler to show up when you're like on a gambling hot street uh well triple h is going to beat you somehow he's going to book himself to beat you at roulette this isn't even possible triple h watch me doing the game that's a bad one to show up i think one of the best ones if john Sina shows up, man, it's going to be so supportive. Things are going to go so well. It's, there are not, I mean, there are not a lot of casinos where you're encouraged

to wear jean shorts, though. Are there not? Are you sure right? Yeah. That's true. You're right. You're right. I misspoke.

You know, if Shinski Nakamura is next to you, oh, man, the night's going to go real well. Also, you're going to get kicked in the face. It's just going to happen. Anyway, back to Atlanta Beer Snob's story. Craped out and everyone at the table grabbed their new load of chips and walked. DDP gave me his self-hy-five move while walking away, blessed and favored. For context, by the way, Atlanta beer snob rolled for about an hour.

The record for this is four hours and 18 minutes by Patricia DeMorrow, a grandmother who went to the Borgata with no understanding of how to play craps. Wait, in New Jersey? Atlantic City has As both of the longest recorded streaks, you will love both of them. 154 rolls for four hours and 18 minutes. She won what most people estimated because she did not wisely. This is how you know she's a Jersey grandmother. They asked her how much she won and she's like, I don't want to talk about that. You got a warrant?

Got a warrant? You a cop, huh? Patricia rolled 154 times. 154 rolls won what most people estimate to be hundreds of thousands of dollars if she'd been making bets with any clue of what she was doing. She would have made millions that night. Listen, you don't go to the fucking Borgata for four hours because you have a clue what you're doing. That is correct.

Tell that to Patricia. The greatest part of this story for me is the sub-story of who she, beat for the longest consecutive roles without crapping out. Tell me it was her grandson. Better. Better. She beat somebody who had 147 roles who was an expert craps player known only as the captain. Damn. Boats sink. This was also in New Jersey and Atlanta? This was also in Atlantic City. Wow. This was at the Toronto.

Oh, God, Jesus. Yeah, yeah. In an article on golden touchcrafts.com, the captain, who in this article, as of the time of publish, was well over his 80th birthday and heading for 90, he had sadly reported he'd lost most of his crew. I'm going to give you the names of the guys in his crew. How, Mummy. Yeah. they called him six Jimmy P

Little Vic Russ the breather as opposed to dead Russ Frank the fearful and the judge this guy is always fucking breathing which one else is the judge

I like this New Jersey Fellowship of the Ring you have just described another guy named this guy for this fucking long they eat about the same amount of breakfast

the living members of this crew imagine the hobbits at the Bellagio Sam wise wearing a fucking Plexico Burress giant's jersey can't see over the edge of any of the tables but they are not leaving the buffet

the living members of the captain's crew satch another guy another guy named Frank the arm so to be clear you named all the dead ones

and it included Russ the breather Russ the breather no longer breathing ironically enough I think they're so fucking good at breathing no it's like naming

a big guy tiny you name dead Russ Russ Russ the breather Satch Satch actually is kind of a dead name because he now teaches craps

I don't know man I don't know he does something called dice control seminars the satch method he doesn't call the satch method he goes by his real name Dave listen UCF has many interesting programs okay

our group needs a satch who are we going to call satch Kershner Kershner he's definitely such He's gonna love that yeah no wait it's Godfrey because he's not here I call Dibbs on Frank the Breeder

for now for now can I be Doc? Yeah, sure. I just want to be Doc. You can be Doc. Okay. I like that one. Jason, what do you want your Atlantic City crew name to be?

I mean, the judge is pretty awesome. Do I have to actually do anything to earn it, though? No. No. Jason, the judge. Jason, the Judge. Ryan, you're going to be, you're going to be Badger. Okay. That's fine.

They're tenacious. That's the Badger, man. What do you call him that? Tenacious. Don't let him get a hold of your pants leg. Yeah. I think the answer to every question about a nickname is, oh, you'll see. You'll see.

It doesn't work as well for Frank the Breeder. Yeah, you'll see. Just wait. You'll see. Wait, wait, what do you call him Frank the Breeder? Oh, he's behind you. All right. We also get to name somebody's Johnny.

Somebody's got to be Johnny Two Shakes. Johnny Two Shakes. Shakes a dice twice. It's not a very interesting nickname. Okay. godfrey johnny two shakes uh then coming back all the way around like full circle here okay at tiger funk 69 that's richard oh i thought we were still doing names uh there was this one time when i where i bet on a long shot to win the heisman two hundred to one and my sports book kept offering me

thousands of dollars to drop the bet maxed out at 4k and i was like now i'm gonna ride or die with my dog And my dog ended up winning that shit. Who is this dog? Joe Burrow. So we assume it's Joe Burrow, right? And what do you? I don't think how much. 200 to 1.

Preseason? I believe he was 200 to 1. That 100. Okay, this guy has Tiger in his name. He's an LSU fan. He's got to be Burrow. Yeah, 20, 19. Yeah, 2001.

Yeah, okay. It was Joe. So, so what, how much money? What are you putting down? $50? If you're turning down $4,000, you're probably, putting down at least that much right you're putting a stupid amount of money on it right like a real dumb amount of money and 2001 is those are bad odds in case you're not in case you don't like

i'm going to hear not if you like winning not if you like winnings idiot if they're offering thousands that means the payoff is well into the thousands right right which means That's a great thing where they're offering. That's a sign that you have snooker the people in power when they're like, hey, listen, do you want me to pay you early? They're offering thousands. I think this means about 201. I mean, it doesn't take much to get into the more than thousands realm. Listen, listen, there's only two kinds of gambling stories that go viral.

One type is this guy made this crazy bet months ago, and now it might win. Like, he parlayed these eight things, and seven of them have happened. The other version is this insanely rich man has some unknown insanely rich man has placed a bet where like he has to put down $50,000 to win 12. Let's see what happens. Like those are the only kinds of bets. The only kind of bets that people care about reading are insane in either direction. They're like, this has no chance of succeeding or this has an excellent chance of succeeding. But if it doesn't, you'll lose untold amounts of money.

I want the boxer who bets on the other guy publicly. That's what I want. I want the guy who's like, yeah, you know, don't think it's happening tonight, boys. I put a million on, I put a million, like if, if Dea Wilder had gone, yeah, I put a million on Fury. This outfit's heavy. Did you hear the real reason, by the way, he didn't perform well in that fight, he says? Yeah, because he says his outfit was, including the batteries, was too heavy, and his legs were tired. There's fucking diesel batteries.

Mostly, mostly I'm confused because this, that suggests that, like, the first time he ever wore and walked around in this fucking costume was the night of the fight? Yes, like, that's just, just, that's what dress rehearsal is for, fucko. If you, if you want. It is fun, like, now that we know this to go back and look at his entrance, because he is taking tiny shuffling steps. And while you're watching it live, you're like, kind of awkward, but, you know, really taking his time. Now it's like, ah. I see. I, uh, by the way, if you want really, really, if you want to take the big bet this year on who's going to win the Heisman, you want to go way out on that limb?

Bo Nix is at 2,200 at Bovado. One to 2200. So more than 200. Just, just put $10 on them and see if they start calling you after game three. Hey, listen. Can we buy you out? Also, Mac Jones at about the same. He's at 2,200.

To be clear, Spencer's just suggested that you should invest in any way, shape, or form in Old Miss football. I did. I did. Betting against it, though. You know, Mac Jones at 2,200. Consider me intrigued. Everybody has a weakness to the gambler's fallacy, right?

and I think this is yours. You're like, I don't know. I could put $10 on Bo Nix there. No, Mac Jones. Come now. I do like, this is one we got from Jim at Disney. It's listed under wagering, and it's kind of limitless. It's more disaster, I guess.

He says, I flipped 10 straight heads at work once. The problem was, I called tails each time. I wanted to show a coworker that you get. lucky picking stocks actual takeaway never take advice on individual stocks from me jim or are you rosencrantz or gildenstern let's just keep this tom stopword street going i mostly like that i mostly like the the idea where you're at work and you're like i know how i'm going to explain the stock market by flipping coins and calling that uh i have one from uh that Gax. He plays my favorite game, which is roulette. On my honeymoon, I put a chip down for a single

number in roulette and one. Then I did it again and one. Again, that's one to 35 to one to 35 that he hit back to back. I alternated numbers and colors for about 45 minutes, walked away with $1,500 on an initial $100 steak. So this is, Spencer, will you explain your grand approach to roulette? we got to talk about Spencer and roulette here because this is where we make fun we make fun of you a lot I have never seen you lose at roulette and it is fucking spooky not long term no you see me lose like a hand or two but yeah I've never seen you lose at roulette period I know that you have lost I've never seen it okay so I'm gonna give you this goes back to what 2006 my way for you to laugh was the first time we were in Vegas but I've I've seen you do a lot of I've seen you leave Vegas after like a week there of no gambling and we're walking out to the car and all of a sudden you turn around and just bolt for a roulette table, throw down a hundred dollars and just come back holding like wads. Here's the thing. What are you?

To win at roulette, you have to have a positive attitude. And that's where I want to laugh that I've seen this happen. No, you really have to enjoy it. have to have a positive attitude. Because all I do is throw chips all over the place. That's it. Complete chaos. Just garbage.

There's no feel. There's no like feel or hunch or you're just like spewing. Oh, no. Okay. No. You know the numbers, the numbers aren't your friends, but the wheel and the ball,

they're your friends. You just have to be. Spencer just turns off the targeting computer and trust the force. I don't understand. The numbers are not your friends. The wheel and the ball are your friends, but the wheel has the numbers on it. I only have one number rule.

You always have to bet double zero. Well, but Ryan, there's numbers on the table, too. No, I just... Okay, so the numbers, I just, all you do, throw a lot around, turn it into a coin flip, 50-50, which you can do if you're playing at a dollar table, right? You just throw them around. That's it.

No loyalty to any number except double zero. Listen, you know I will not pass up an opportunity to drag him for no reason at all, but I've watched this happen. for over a decade now. It's fucking weird. And it pays out 35 to 1. The best part about when you went at roulette is that you feel like a

scientist. I'm like, aha! That's not what science is. Not at all. That's kind of how Fennicillin got discovered, so it's fine. Yeah, see? The greatest discoveries of our time. Creeger's a scientist. That's right. That's how they invented the atomic bomb. One day, a guy's

just trying to make a microwave in a lab, and then boom! What was this? It was like two years ago. We were in Vegas. We were working on the book. Yeah. We had gambled all week. And we were walking out of the aria, like the last day to pick up the car.

And you just turned around and bolted back inside the casino. Mm-hmm. And you came back with just like a handful of bills. That's right. That went one. I had 100 left and I came back out with 600. Nuts. Yeah.

And all you have to do is have a really great attitude. That's it. That's, we were playing in, we played in, where was it oh it was in um it was in lake tahoe it was at the hard rock in lake Tahoe and there were two oh yeah for the golf thing yeah there were two giant like mobbed up looking dudes with like nugget rings who were throwing 500 on red or black every time and they were really cool and they're like hey what are you doing like like how's that working huh and uh because they talked like Scorsese gangsters and i just said hey man you met you met frank the breather and the captain I did I'm a

Frank the breather. And the captain was like, hey, man, just that? I was like, yeah, you have to have a great attitude. Just throw a lot of chips around. And that's, that's, that's why I, that's why I love the air raid. That's why I love Hal Mummy. What, did you win a lot of games? No, just had some fun, man. Just having fun. Do you, have you tried this approach with any other game of chance? Yes, and it's disaster. It's absolute disaster. You can't do this at Blackjack, especially because I really dislike Blackjack because nobody will understand that you

can't steal someone's cards. That's my favorite. Somebody sitting to your left. Somebody sitting to your left will go, oh, you took my card. Okay. It was never yours, friend. Nothing is. None of this is ours. And then he started singing dust in the wind.

Yeah. Also, sometimes I'll just play the wrong way at Blackjack because it's fun. I like to do this because of your left. don't escape past that don't skate past that you will what if the guy to your left at blackjack is being kind of

an enumerate dickhead and says that you know hey hey don't you know you took my card I guarantee you the next time the dealer is sitting on a bus card I'm going to lose that hand just to fuck him just to make him mad see if he'll lose the table so this is why you have to stick to

roulette because it's the only game it's one of the only games at least completely isolated cannot hurt other people That's right. You can just, you can actually make the same bets I make or put a chip on, doesn't, I can't hurt anybody at a roulette table. I'm a random event generator and at a roulette table, I get to do that by myself or I can't hurt anybody. Arguably the roulette wheel is the random event generator, but it's good that you two have found each other. I am the, I am the Auburn football of gamblers. I should be isolated somewhere where I can only hurt myself.