Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Amy Schumer and Kim Caramele

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

On this episode, Kate and Goldie, our special co-host this week, sit down with Amy Schumer and Kim Caramele. (Oliver had the flu and couldn't fly to New York.) Amy and Kim talk about their childhood, which involved losing their money and moving over twelve times. They share how humor helped them get through it, how they started working together, their tame arguments, and much more.Executive Producers: Kate Hudson, Oliver Hudson, and Sim SarnaProduced by Allison BresnickEditor: Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is brought to you by Cloud10 and powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by Third Love and Four Sigmatic.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. With the co-host feature, you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos On the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson.

And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling revelry.

That's good. This episode you're about to listen to is Amy Schumer and Kim Caramelli, sisters. And unfortunately, I had influenza. A, not B, not Corona, let's not get crazy here, but I influenza A. I was unable to make the trip. And I was actually super bummed out because I was, I was very excited to hang with these girls, but I did find an amazing replacement. Her name is Goldie Hawn. She happens to be my mother. And I don't even know what, I don't even know what, I don't even know what the hell they haven't talked about i haven't listened to it i don't even know like i'm sure

it's going to be great my only fear is is that uh you guys are going to enjoy my mother more than myself and there's going to be a petition on move on dot org that um is going to kick me out of sibling revelry and my mother will replace me i i really don't want that to happen i mean i do hope she does a really good job maybe not a great job but a really good job so it's like oh that was really fun but uh you know we still want all of her that that's what i'm hoping for um anyway i'm sure it was amazing amy and kim are amazing i've known amy for a little bit now but i'm actually just as excited to listen to this as you guys are so enjoy i will be listening along with you Caramelie.

Caramelie. Caramelie. And then there's Shoo-oo-oo-oo-o-oo-mo. I like it. You know what is weird? It was right there in front of us. That's all the time.

I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here too. I'm so happy you guys are here. I know. And it's so funny because Oliver can't be here because he's sick. He's got the flu. And so we come to New York and I was saying, oh, my God, this is mom was going to be here. And I was so excited because it was like, this just worked out.

This is so perfect. It's so good. Sorry, Ollie. I'm sorry about the flu. But when I heard you, the flu, I was so excited because I knew that meant Goldie was coming over too. Amy shrieked out of the window and delight in our cab. That's true. And I was like, baby, he's really sick.

She's like, I don't care, New York. I was like, yeah. It was my first real New York moment. It was all you getting the flu. Both hands up in delight. I thought it was a good tap. Kimby, you were saying that you love this podcast and you listen to it. And what was the moment with Goldie you heard on the podcast?

So I was listening to one of the episodes. And Goldie, you had, you called in and they're like, oh, mom's calling. And I don't think you called in on purpose. No. Because you kind of just got right to business. You were like, where's Bodie? Like no, like, hello, no nods. Just like, boom, where, you know, where's Bodie at?

And you guys were talking about how Goldie, you had gotten a chef for Oliver when he was in college. And I guess you guys had some follow-up questions about that. And the phrasing of the question was such that it was so delightful. So Oliver said, you know, when I was in college, you got me a chef and you were like, yes. And he said, why did you do that to me? And you just burst out laughing as though it was this grave injustice. that you caused him. Why did you do that to me?

Why did you get that for me, mom? And you just laughed and laughed and laughed before you could answer. And I just, I had to pause it because I was laughing so much. And it was such a delightful. I was like, this is going to be my favorite podcast. It was, but I think it was just all a set up. They set me up. Oh, yeah, we didn't.

Oh, yeah, we didn't. I mean, well, yeah, you called. You set yourself. No, you called in. No, you called in. No, you called because I wanted to find out. It was one of those moments that was hilarious because we were just talking about you in the phone ringing and all he goes, oh my God, it's mom.

It was 100% of coincidence. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. It was authentic. Let's put it that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was so funny. Oh, my God.

But we're excited to be here. So what we normally do on the podcast is we start from the beginning. Ooh. Mm-hmm. Okay. Brother Jason. Yeah. Half brother.

And then you came along. Then me. And then Kim. Okay. And so where did you guys grow up? We grew up on Long Island Yes Kind of in one of the few towns that had few Jews

So we were raised Jewish Jewishish Jew-esque I know about that Jew-like, yes I can relate Yes Like a hint like a

You know just a little Like grandmother said we're reformed We're reformed that we're so reformed That we just say Bubba one once in a while And that's the extent of our Judaism You know It's once in a blue So we'll write laid a menorah.

Oh, yeah. You know. Amy had a bat mitzvah, but then by the time it was my turn, like we were all kind of over it. And so I didn't. So Kim was like, I don't want to do that. And I'm like, how come she's allowed to not do that? But I still got like a party. Yeah.

Really, there was no downside for you. Yeah. I mean, without the, without the reading. Yeah. I went to Temple on Friday night. I went to Hebrew school on Saturday. I got to play soccer. Yeah.

But anyway, we grew up. in this town it was like you know a ton of Irish Catholic people and yeah we were kind of like one of the the Jew families and yeah explain kind of the house in which you grew up in was oh that's fun I'm actually writing and starring in the show for Hulu right now about that we were we were our dad was really wealthy when we were really young um she can tell yeah oh yeah that's Right. I mean, you have eyes. You have eyes. And we lived in like kind of a mansion. And, you know, he had like his own plane for a little while. And then lost everything. And so I just, because you can Google map anything. I looked at the house we lived in. And then I looked at the house we moved to. And it is shocking. And that wasn't until you were about nine and I was five. Are you trying to plug the musical 9 to 5? Yeah, is that not what we're...

Please don't use this. Okay? Okay, well then have a thing. Wait, so you moved within the same town, like literally from a mansion to, it was richest racks and to like a tiny, and then we lived in people's basements, and then my mom and I were sharing a bed, and it was like a reverse Russian doll house situation. I think we, while I was in high school, I think we lived in, was it 12 different houses and apartments?

We moved more than every year. Yeah. Wow. We got smaller and smaller. Do you remember it? Do you clearly do? I do. I remember, I have like little flashes of it because I was five.

Your clothes thought worse. But yeah, my clothes got pretty bad. And you let your hair go to shit. And I stayed. Yeah. And it stayed there. And it's there. But yeah, Amy was about nine.

I was about five, which... Nine to five. I have a joke about... We start, you know, like... Because when I think when you first lose your money, like a real housewife, you like still kind of live in a mansion somehow, you know? You're like one good credit card and then... And then you have to like face reality and live in like a shoe.

But I joke that I, at my age, the only way that I really felt the loss of money was in the quality of my birthday parties. Because like one year I had a farm party and there were at... animals and it was a big carnival and then the next year the theme was dancing on the ceiling and my dad just turned a camera upside down and filmed us like dancing around a light fixture and it like we got a pizza and everybody was like had to chip in for the pizza I mean it was dark but it's fun because we do we have home movies and so you can really like we get to watch like the progression like of our downfall we're like here and then yikes like so we get to like really track it. Okay. What was going on in the family for all of this to happen? Our dad just like lost

the business. Well, our dad was diagnosed with MS. And then like right on top of that, the bankruptcy was cause because they owned a baby furniture company where they were importing baby furniture from Italy. And so, you know, parents on the Upper East side were like, we need a crib from Milan today. And then other people started doing it too. So it just wasn't, you know, he didn't have a monopoly on it. So the business went under, yeah. You know my, you know our dad is so deeply that there are pictures of Goldie all over his room. Oh, yeah. He loves mommy.

Yeah. I love him too. You're so sweet. I mean, he talks about it. Every time we. Well, when I learned more, you know, I realized he was not an easy man. No. A lot of, a lot of stuff.

Oh, God. And I think that what happens, which is so interesting, because I've seen your time with him. Yeah. and your care for him and your empathy for him and, you know, taking him and doing and, you know, all of it. Yeah. And it's so beautiful because it shows, you know, we do have a great capacity to forgive. Yeah, and you just love your parents.

And you love your parents. Exactly. Yeah. So it just, it's just a testimony. Yeah. You forgive them. That's what I try to remind myself that too. You know, I'm trying to be so great during this time where Gene, he's 10 months.

He won't even remember. But I watch this show Love After Lockup where, like, the parents are in jail. and they get out after. I need to know what the show is. It's on Friday night. It's love after lockup. It's life after lockup. You know, when you find something so joyful,

you have to extend the brand, the story. So there's lots of different versions. But you see these parents, they get out after like eight years. And the kids are like, mommy. You know, there's no, you love your parents. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, no matter what.

It's not easy. It's not that easy. It's a constant negotiation and cycle. So mom and dad were together for how long? 10 15 years yeah they were they were married for 14 years and then they got divorced when we went to this one to this small house yeah so i was eight and amy was 12 at the peak of my bangs i just have to also say yeah my bangs had never been so frizzy our house was here amy's bangs were here so right at the time where you're all of a sudden getting a body and your period

uh yeah that you're also your family is crashing falling apart. Everything's falling apart. I mean, this is, like, very traumatic. I loved it. It was a blast. Literally, in your fundamental years, you're saying that everything, your whole life turned upside down. Exactly. And your father, you wrote, was a drinker. Yeah. Yeah, he drank. Yeah. Now, we didn't really know, though. Well, we didn't know until, because our mom hid it from us, but it was so out of hand. We were little. I mean there are things you can remember like he would just be kind of passed out somewhere but you're just like dad must be tired it wasn't like a negative drink like we never had like a bad vibe from him at all he wasn't like an angry drinker or you know he was just like a like a sleepy

one but then one day he showed up um to spend time with us and he got off a bus and like taking a bus on Long Island is not typical for, you know. Oh, this is after the divorce scene? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we were like, what are you taking the bus? What's going on?

You know? And he was like, it turned out he had so many DUIs and he could no longer drive. And we a couple times had to go visit him in detox. Which for, like probably no one knows anybody. Well, actually you guys probably know people, but most people don't know anyone who's drinking to the point where they would need to go to detox to stay alive.

Yeah. So, you know, it's like, that's serious. And he was so depressed. Clearly. So, yeah. Well, that's sad. But look at us now. Like, we're filled with so much character and charisma.

We're thriving. I wonder if we don't have that struggle, do you think, like, you can still be an interesting, full person? Challenges are important, but also resiliency. And I think you're born with a level of resilience that you can move through this. I mean, I know a lot of people who are not resilient, who literally it does affect in a very, very dramatic way and negative way. And, you know, their life is, the trajectory of their life is not that good. So I think we're born. She's talking about Barbara Streis here.

Dish, girl. And she could sing her name's really good. Better than me. How much did you guys lean on each other during that time? Well, I think it's also, like, when I, when I look back at, like, a bunch of the like pretty dark um real dark real dark moments real dark days like i never remember like amy and i kind of like crying with each other or anything about it i remember like the things i remember as us like looking at each other like yikes yeah like this is so bad this is dark and then like laughing and then like doing something like really fun just the two of us kind of about it but yeah we we clung to each other. We really clung to each other. And we raised each other. And just kind of not like actively not letting this dark stuff around us kind of like affect our days. There was one day where our dad was like,

I'm going to take you girls to see rent. And we had already seen it a bunch. Like we loved seeing Broadway shows and we loved rent. We're rent girls. Basically we're rent heads. And and so our dad is like, we got tickets to the matinee. And he, MS is, you know, a hell of a disease. And it was, had been in remission. He was coming out of remission. He was like, you know, so it's like, you don't really understand MS. But he would walk really slow.

Like, it just slows you down. And so we get into Manhattan and we go outside the theater and he got the tickets. And they were like, these are to the night performance. And he knew, like, he couldn't, he couldn't physically hang in the zoo. So he sits down on kind of like a steam pipe. on the city it was like like just kind of takes the scene just like just looking at our dad knowing like he just is taking a break because he like kind of failed in some way and it was really sad and really dark but we were also at an age where we were like wheels are turning

like dad give us the tickets and we'll just stay in Manhattan yeah we're like you go and you go and it's fine and then we were like you know pretty young and loose in the city and we're just like woo you know we went yeah we went to the museum of natural history we got booze we got white wine like a free white wine at a Chinese restaurant you know we were psyched we got like bows and we had to go see right I mean you know so you made the most of me the most of it but it is like sad you know it's really we have real dark images and memories and moments but followed immediately by like us just having like a nice time with each other there's nobody on the planet that understands each other more than you two.

Yeah. Totally. It's like the craziest bond. It's for life. Awesome. And I mean, you guys are even working together. So it's just stays and continues. And it's like understanding each.

We've loved working together. We've had a really good experience. I saw when you worked together on Snatch, you know. And it really was fantastic. Yeah. It was. And you kind of finish each other sentences. But I'm always interested to know because there's all,

there is sibling rivalry, which is revelry as they'd play on on it. But in terms of that, what kind of, how do you argue? How do you like face like, I don't get that. Our arguments, do you? No, no, I mean, when we do it, but I just, I have to say, like, that I'll be like, you know, we've a couple times had an argument in front of someone more close to, like a friend. And after, I'll be like, I'm sorry you had to see that. And they're like, that was the tamest, like, most highly-therified.

Oh, really? Yeah. Humidity. Oh, yeah. It's like, it's ridiculous. And I also, like, I genuinely have never considered anything between us to be, like, a rivalry whatsoever. I think because of our age difference, like, we never overlapped in school. So there was never any competition between us, like, for friends or for guys. That's true. Or for anything like that. So, like, I never, like, we never, like, we never, never went after the same things well also everything that i did she would then do but better so i was like i was like pretty good at volleyball and then she was like all state you know but we weren't doing it at the same time like i wasn't like we weren't like going after the same spot on there was no there was no competition and like she does stand up like i'm not and like she i'm not like we're not going for the same role We're not going for the same jobs. You know what I mean?

So it's really, like, I really don't consider there to be any rivalry. She's my first phone call when there's something exciting. Actually, she's my only one. Isn't that funny when you get good news, it starts out that you're like, you call all your friends. And then over the years, it's like, you just text your sibling. Do you remember when you knew mom was having another baby? Like, did you have that memory or when she came home from the hospital? I don't.

But I do remember being. really she was so adorable that I was threatened and I knew I had to start getting nicer to my dad you know I was like so you did have a moment of like oh oh geez yeah definitely I had that you know I'm glad you never had that but I did because she was so cute she was just this little Shirley temple and I had been you know you get used to be people thinking you're an adorable little girl and then all of a sudden it's oh and you're just like the old older like, you know, ogre. Tatsi knows.

Tatsi's like, I'm going through it right now. Yeah, they're like, oh, do you want a cookie? You know, and like, to me, they're just like, here, hold this for your sister, you know. But then we, yeah, we like had a rough start as, you know, really young kids. And then we like, actually, you want to say the thing? The note. Yeah. Yeah, I guess for a while, for a while there, I guess until.

we were about 22 and how old this was young this was like you were probably four yeah was like eight um I uh like Amy was like not particularly too nice to be sometimes and I no I terrorized her one time my mom was like she woke up with a nightmare and the and my mom was like do you want to go sleep with Amy and she's like no my nightmare was about her I'm afraid of but hear me out like it I watched that Exorcist and Linda Blair I look like her when Amy was eight I'm like when Amy was eight Linda Blair and the Exorcist it was there was some there was some bang similarities there's some overlap there's some bang overlap so I so I like saw this it was

close and so I would have some nightmares and so so like Amy was a little bit mean to me and so one day I but I thought it was like my fault you know and I guess it was right I was a good abuser. It was my fault for being so cute. Yeah. And so I wrote Amy a note like, you know, do you love me? If you love me. Will you draw eyes on this pig?

And I drew kind of an Iowa's pig, which like, let's unpack that way. And I remember reading that. I do remember. You will put a pin in that. I really do remember opening that note and seeing it. And our dad had made a big deal about in the mafia, families, all that matters. That's like what the lesson. he used to teach us all the matters.

And I remember opening this. It felt like a day in Italy. Yeah. And I looked at this little thing and it like broke my heart and it completely changed the rest of our lives. And I drew heart eyes on the pig and I gave it back to her. And then we were inseparable for the rest of time. And you don't have that to you? Yeah.

Well, no, no. Do you have that letter? I think later, no, we don't have that one. But Amy did like a call back to it like a couple years later or whatever. Like, because we would write like each other. We would write little, like, nice little notes to each other. We'd write each other love letters. We're seeing each other.

This is what sisters do. Yeah, and we have letters like that we would write all throughout high school and college. And it's really nice. Like, we would send it back and forth to each other. And, like, one as, like, a cat or whatever. Like, I'll always, like, draw eyes, you little dummy and stuff like that. But our, um, but when we fight, uh, so one fight I'm remembering was we were leaving a comedy club together. and I had a rolling bag with me you know like why I think I was getting

changed there and you know I was it a comedy club in a mall it was in a mall yeah yeah yeah I don't want to brag I was doing comedy club in a mall great now you know stand up in a mall it's good and and and Kim it was like I've got it like I'll take the bag and she wasn't rolling it and we're walking the car and I keep going like it's a roll you can roll it like you don't have to like lug it it's a rolling bag she's like no no it's fine and i'm like i feel like you're trying to make it seem more difficult by not just rolling it she's like i'm fine it's fine and then we get in the car and we go home and our friend kyle who was opening for me i was like i'm so embarrassed that you saw that like in my mind that had been a really big and he's

like that that's the lamest fight i've ever seen he was like more mad that we thought that was fight. Oh my God. No, we don't say anything that we're going to regret. I mean, you know, it stays pretty. It stays pretty about the thing. But being the child of an alcoholic, you know. I just think also you guys, in the way you grew up, I mean, you are your, you know,

you can't afford to lose each other. No, we need each other. And I'll like, if you're a child of an alcoholic, you are ready for like your whole world to blow up all the time. So we'll get in a fight. and like an argument like nothing and I'll be like well obviously we're not talking for a while and she'll be like yes we are we had a fight you're so weird you're always like I'm always like I'm always like well that's it obviously I'll get my things and like we got in a fight and she's

like I mean I would like it if at some point you want to be a part of Jean's life I'm like shut the fuck up I'm like shut up well she tried to make me not go to her wedding and I was like shut up i'm coming okay she was 22 okay she was 22 and she was last year and she was projecting her feelings about the relationship i was in yeah onto what she thought i thought about her husband yeah and they got married in uh like a courthouse and yonkers yeah and i was like her witness you know and my and i and she the night before was like i don't think you like viny and i was like you're an idiot you are an absolute of course i love whatever i was like i'm coming don't think this conversation ends i'm coming your wedding yeah

Our full-time job is, like, not letting each other push the other one away. Yeah, it's so important. I mean, my God, at the end of the day, and I'm way older than you are, that sisters aren't get more important, more valuable, you know? Yeah. But who is the most reasonable, do you think? Neither of us. Oh, you're crying to her sister?

You would be so much. You have a lot of close girlfriends, I feel like. Yeah, but they're still not my sister. They're not your sister. Yeah. Well, I'm happy I have one. daughter because I'm surrounded by boys, although now I have two granddaughters. And so, you know, you have a daughter. Yeah. But it is, it's a different bond. It's a very different bond.

It's a different kind of love. Yeah. It's a snugly kind of love. Yeah. Well, she doesn't let me touch her. Oh, really? Like, I, I'm very affectionate and I want. I'm aware that I'm wearing her sweater and I'm upset about it. Yeah. I don't want to be cold, but I don't want to be wearing her things. I just want to like, like, you know, hug her and she's just like, get away from me. Yeah. Are you like that with your husband? No. It's Amy specific.

It's me. Really? Yeah. I won't like drink after her. I've always been very repulsed by her. She is. She's repulsed by her. But now did you, have you moved back or are you still in Chicago?

Oh, no. I moved back to Connecticut. So I'm two and a half hours away. Awesome. Yeah. How long have you been married? Um, for, I've been married for 11 years. Amazing.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah. To Carmelie. She got to skip the whole dating, all that. Yeah. Did you go to college? Yes. And did you go to college?

Yes. We both graduated from college. And I went to grad school. I was a school psychologist for five years. And I went to an acting, Misenor two year intensive. So when she left for college, how was that for you? because that was a good four years of without your support system like you cannot imagine how bad it went the most various bad really oh yeah I tanked yeah and I like could not believe I was going that I was away oh yeah

no it like shit went wild how quickly were you out of the house Oh, yeah, it's kind of like, how long did I last in that house alone without her? A year and a half. Yeah. A year and a half. And then I had to be removed from that house. I came home a lot also. And not because she was asking me to come home, but I would just come home a lot so we could be together.

And I would like go like to visit me. I would like not be in school. I'm like, it would be like, it's Tuesday, not on a break. like what are you doing here i'm like yeah it was a really hard time it was real real rough that's separation anxiety and you weren't but you were close you were she wasn't too far away right she was in maryland baltimore oh yeah no i it was a it was a i absconded yeah no i was out but you could get there yeah i took a train um and then when did you start stand up when did i become a star I started stand-up when I was like 23, 23, 22.

Right after school, right? Pretty much right after college. Yeah. And she was probably at, why? Yeah. That's a great question. I mean, it is. It's a very brave thing to do.

I mean, to stand up and be funny. And, you know, it's like, very, masochistic thing to do. I was going to say, I'm going to take the leap. Yeah. I mean, you're friends with a bunch of stand-ups, you know, like they're the most delightful mentally ill people, you know, probably. I was funny like I was a funny kid and all that you know when you just have a little something that people just laugh when they see you and I mean no one has it more than you Goldie as you know crazy on that well I would be real about it it's true I couldn't do a stand-up though because you didn't even have to talk you just stood there and everyone was hysterical laughing and loving you but I feel like I

I had that little thing and then so I tried to improv and that was not for me and then one of the girls the improv troupe one of the girls she was like 50 uh she did stand up and I went to see her she's really bad and I was like well I think I could do better than that and I just tried it just delusion and you know your first stand-up experience were you was it scary or was it in your mind just sort of okay let's let's let's let's see what this is it was physically scary um Yeah, it was like, you know, it wasn't the stage right of people looking at you, but it was, okay, like, you know, just get up and talk, you know, and so I wrote a little set and it wasn't good. But I was likable enough that it went, okay. Were you there?

I don't know if I was at your first. I don't know if I was at your very first. But you say that like a lot, that it wasn't very good or whatever or that like you were like not good right away. Yeah. Like, I think you were so good right away. That's because you love me. No, I think, I mean, you're like comparing it to. No one's good to stand up right away.

You were so funny. And like, you're, like, the things that you were talking about were funny. And, like, people laughed right away. You're naturally funny. Some people get up. Some people get up and you're literally like, why are you doing this to yourself? Yeah. And they go, I'm not going to.

You know what? I'm going to stand up. When your life ever said you were funny? I don't even think you're the funniest one of your. friends. Right, right. I mean, you, you got up and people were like, like, they laughed. They liked me, but I wasn't good. But you don't get good at stand-up for years. It's not that, yeah, you weren't good at stand-up, but you were funny up there and you had, like, funny things to talk about. Like, like, I think, I think you're selling yourself short.

No, you're nice. It was bad. It was bad. I remember one show I did at Central Park Summer Stage. You were there, right? that's outdoors yes but okay like three to five thousand people and I went up real ready to just destroy and it was you know a showcase so I was doing 15 minutes and I could hear out of those thousands of people just my mom laughing you know so it wasn't even like I think the acoustics it's the trees I could hear just my mom trying to get everyone to laugh I mean I have bombed What happens to you after you bomb? No one will make eye contact with you.

You know, you look to people to be like, was that as bad as it felt, you know? And everyone just kind of looks at the floor. I've been with Amy twice when she's bombed. And this was not at the beginning. One is Buffalo, right? Or was it? You bombed in Buffalo? We've all bombed in Buffalo.

And one was like a private event. Was that at a country club? Oh, this was the first time our dad was ever going to see me. do alive you know because he's like in a wheelchair you can't always I have seen I have seen Amy like at like a sold out arena like people crying laughing just like like a stadium erupting and laughter and nothing compares to the feeling of elation that I feel what Amy has just just tanked just fully eaten shit people who are just like no and no and the look that she gives me And Kim is off stage.

She gives me on stage when she knows she's bombing. And I mean, we're dying laughing good on bombing. It's such a moment of a lesion. And Kim always goes like this. She dances to the side. I look over at her and she's going like this. Yeah. It's just, it's a moment where it's just like, and like, what are you going to do?

You got to stay out there. Just stay out there. There's nothing you can do because it's also like she knows it's not her fault. She's not doing it. Like there's nothing you can do about it. You know what you mean? And just, but I mean, the funniest things when your friends are bombing. And we're still going to have a lovely evening, you know.

You know, like, we're going to have a nice evening no matter what. It's going to get off stage. It's going to be fine. But just in that moment where I know she's got another like 22 minutes. Oh, yeah. And like, you know how those minutes go by. But comics, you know, if I, if you see your friend try a new joke and it just bombs. Oh, it's so fun.

Like there's nothing funnier. You know. No, no, exactly. Our friend Kyle, our friend Kyle, who. Yeah, Kyle Duned again. We like have made him to do this one. joke that we know is going to bomb but we've convinced him like no it's so fun you have to do it please you have to do it he'll go it never gets left we're like no this crowd like trust it'll go go you

have to do it it's it was the crowd like you do it and he'll get on stage and he'll do the joke no and it ruins the set and he'll look over to us so it'll be like yeah and we're like it's it's the best feeling oh my god you know the one thing I have to say about comedians and particularly stand-up, but, you know, that moves into acting as well and whatever, is that there's a lot of tragedy and sadness in their life. Oh, yeah. And part of what makes us survive is how we laugh at certain stuff that literally other people would look at and go, how did you get through it?

Right. Well, because we have some weird sense of humor. Yeah. About life. Yeah. And it's always been there. But that's why I said, like with all the stuff, you know, from our childhood, truly like looking back it's never like I never remember us like collapsing into each other in

sorrow it's always it's always like how we were just like yikes and we move on you know but that's so at the darkest that's so you're so lucky I mean to have that because it's even like what you're saying like you're up there bombing you're laughing your ass off oh yeah you're looking getting me through it and she's getting you through it and and the reality is it's like okay like we've been through so much worse yeah there were times you know I've been doing stand-up for 15 years and you know probably in my first 10 there were just some and a heckler would come at me and I would go I think you guys have seen me do stand-up I feel like I oh yeah did I lose it at a heckler did I did anything happen where I was like me okay no but you know

because other people they like the professional thing that's nice for the audience is to say something that gets a laugh and move on but it triggers me it has triggered me in a way where I'm like what you know and then it just gets ugly have you gone at someone to the point where you're I felt bad later yeah have you ever seen me like I mean what do you think I mean I wouldn't say you'd feel bad later I think I wouldn't qualify with that I feel like a couple times I felt bad later really yeah I don't think you should not for years I think I think they should shut right on the fuck up. Wait, remember that show in Chicago and that girl, Tatiana, it's not the time.

And that girl. Yeah, I think so. I think about the boots thing all the time. This girl's in the front row in Chicago. It's how I get out of bed in the morning. And she was, it was like toward the end of the show. It had been a really good show. And the audience was happy and I feel good.

And this girl, I think, just got real drunk by the end and was like, like, yelling for me to, like, show my boobs. Yeah. or my vagina or something. Like she's like, like it was just really dark. And I tried to get her to be quiet and she wouldn't. And then I was like, once the last time you saw your dad? Yeah. Oh my God.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I went hard. I don't care. I love that. That sounds awesome. That sounds great. Yeah. I think that's great.

But you know, Chris Rock doesn't become Dr. Ruth. I know, exactly. Great. Chris says, Chris Rock has a quote. He's like, if ignorance is bliss, then what's the opposite of that? It's, you know, comics see or performer, you know, you see everything. Like, it's our job to read other people. And so that's, it's the opposite of bliss.

It's like kind of a hell, but, you know, sometimes. I haven't heard that quote. Oh. The best, like, dramatic performances that I've seen recently have been by, like, people who are typically, like, comedic actors. And I just think that it's like that like kind of like what we were talking about, how like comedians and people who are really funny have this way of handling dark things and kind of perceiving darkness and doing something with that that I think translates to drama in such a distinct and clear and beautiful way. The best comics are really really kind of get to the crux of things. And that's why I think that, you know, like Odin Kirk's performance on Better Call Saul, I'm just like I'm blown away by it so much.

like he's so funny and I just I really like this trend of seeing like these like really comedic people being cast in these dramatic roles and I just I think it's like such an exciting thing well it's the other side of comedy yeah and we you know you possess the darkness you know I'm you know I've gone out there and I've been funny most of my life right even though my mother didn't think I was funny but well that's why yeah no exactly you're not that funny thanks mom but you know like my favorite author my favorite poets my favorite thing are dark you know Wilka, for instance. You know, and I just, I'm much more attracted to that sort of the underworld.

What really is going on? Where does pain come from? And it is, it's just why it's like the, it's like the clown. You know, it's like the gestures. Gestors, court gestures knew everything. Oh, my God. You know, I personally think that it's much harder to be funny than it is to be. Oh, my God, yeah.

You know, I mean, I, it's much funnier. And by the way, when Amy Schumer cries, so do we. same with all all you hoes i mean seriously it's sort of when we cry everybody cries with us but but you know in a movie like and i've told you this before but um how to lose a guy in 10 days like that is such a classic amazing comedy that i feel like i have you know taken so much from uh and like i don't know it's like a classic it's like a it was on the other day when I was getting my nails done brag got my nails done everyone it's just like everyone loves that movie and it's hilarious it's hilarious and you're also heartbreaking in it makes you feel good and it's relatable yeah I mean I love

that movie I love it too I loved making that movie yeah it was also really fun because that was one of those movies where we wrote every you know you had your set pieces but I really like in order for them to come to life there There was a lot that had to ad libbing and everything that I was- If you don't sell it. No, everything I was doing wasn't written, you know. You can tell. It set me up for like the best, my favorite kind of stuff, which is just like going,

you know, improv. It was also like kind of like revolutionary because it was like, you know, I just felt like as women we were just all supposed to like, you want to try to get a guy and, you know, do a good job and don't be too loud and don't be, you know, just be pretty, whatever. That's just like what it felt like society was telling us to do. And then it just felt kind of revolutionary to see a woman like breaking all the rules. Like I'm going to go so far into that lane, you know, just. Get rid of this guy.

Yeah. Because I'm because we're just as smart as you. We're smarter, you know. Yeah. Oh, thanks. That makes me feel good. Oh, my God. How often do you guys talk a day?

Probably every day. Yeah. especially every day sometimes not for a couple of days but we talk a lot yeah depending on like I mean sometimes like there's just like a lot going on we are like who like I call them just like can I complain for like 30 minutes and she's like definitely I'm like please yeah and then also we have an app called Polo Marco Marco Polo yeah which is just which is just so good because sometimes you know

like we don't maybe have like little videos yeah like enough to say to have like a full like conversation or whatever but it's just like quick things or whatever where like I need her to see like she's like I got a new plant that she needs me to see and I need to go you're going to need to see this immediately and I'm like yes and that you know but it's always keeping in touch this is what I feel like is like a beautiful part of our sisterhood a couple years ago I called her at like 5 p.m and I complained about some you know some shit for like 20 minutes it's 5 p.m. And she goes, it's my birthday. No, this.

So, so this is, okay, it's, this is my favorite, this is my favorite conversation. Okay. It is five, it is five, 22. We talked for such a long time. She's just like talking to. I'm like, yeah, me, me, totally. I'm like, oh my God, totally. And she's like, okay, I have to go.

I'm going to sing whatever. What else is going on? What are you doing tonight? And I went, well, it's my birthday. so and then we both died laughing we laughed for so long and it's just like but that's you know and it's like and you see like you see in like movies and shows or whatever where it's like that would like cause a fight or something like right but that's also not our language of love we're not like gifts are not our oh what is your language of love I love this um acts of what

I did not know how you were going to finish that sentence okay okay oh acts of service Oh, really? Is that your number one? Acts of service is probably my number one. I don't know what that means. And that's my husband's number one too. Oh my gosh. And it's so funny because, wait, you don't know what this is at all?

Oh, okay. You like figure out your love language, like sort of how you express. I love words of affirmation. But Chris doesn't, my husband doesn't care. Like, it does nothing for him. So I'll be like, you are such a great husband. I feel lucky every day. I love you so much

You're such a good dad And he's like Can you turn the lights off? He doesn't care He doesn't care It does nothing for him Yeah I hear that

And I don't have to see you For a week Yeah Kim's his physical touch No Oh no Ouch ooh That was an act of disservice

Is that Am I using that anymore I know I'm gonna burn this Okay Will you tell the story About how you guys started working together

Oh my God Yes, so I was, I was working as a school psychologist in Chicago, and Amy had, she was very good at it. It was very cute. Yeah, it was, and the kids loved you. An act, like an active functioning school psychologist, I know, we want to get you back out there. I know. And Amy had just like, Comedy Central had just like been like, you're, you know, given her a TV show. And she called me and she was like, I want you to come and write for the TV show.

And I was like, no. I was like, I'm busy. I was like, okay, get talking to you. I was like, I'm not going to do that. You know, because like I just like started a new school, a new job or whatever. I was like, if you get picked up for a second season, I'll come to it. She never thought that would happen. Really not thinking.

Because every, you get picked up for a year and whatever. Those are words of affirmation. I was bluffing. Good luck with your comedy. Yeah, I was, I was fully bluffing. I was like, you know, like catch you back at waiting tables. And then it's kind of like when she got picked up for a second season, I could hear it in her voice. Like I knew you didn't think I was going to make this fucking call.

You know what I mean? She's like, guess what? And she called me. I think she actually said like, guess what bitch. And she was like, I got picked up for it. And I was like, okay. And so I went in to ask for a sabbatical because I was like, okay, I will call. come for to write the show, uh, with you for six months. Um, and then I'm going back to my life

as a school psychologist in Chicago. And so I asked, she thought I was going to make it six more months in the business. Six. Well, no, because I just, I was coming, you know, like, I was going to just like, try it. I was, you know, and so I asked for a sabbatical. Um, and, uh, and my principal was like, yeah, I'm sure the school board will be fine with that. Like, you know, you're, you're great. We love you here. And the school board was like, no when I was like oh I guess I quit and they were like oh I was like all right bye and so like I quit you know I quit yeah and so I had to like but you know like when really it wasn't like this was a career change at all it was like I am going to just like go and like try

this thing so I like talked to my husband and it was it wasn't like we're moving to New York I was I'm going to like go do this thing for six months. Like you stay here and like work and like be with the dog and I'll like fly home every other weekend for what was supposed to be six months. We rented Jake Gyllenha's apartment. Yeah. And try back. And did you find anything weird inside of his? Oh, we turned that place.

We tried. There was one locked closet. We got a phone call about like shoes one day. We were like, yes. Like there was just no evidence of him at all. Yeah, we Google it's like wine. Yeah, I mean, we really. The only thing that was left was a frozen birthday cake in his freezer, which when I would get drunk, I would gnaw on it.

And then we eventually made a video like where I was pretending like I was at the party where the cake had been. Like as his guest. And I'm like, hi, Jake. I'm like, I'm having such a good time too. That was really, really, really. I think it was on Ellen or some. The something, yeah. Yeah.

But we had a great, and we went, we went to Barry's boot camp. You know, like, really skinny. I've never been to Barry's boot camp. It's a nightmare. Really? I feel like it might be kind of fun. Is it a little? No.

It's good if you're young and you've never experienced trauma. Yeah. But, no, it's, I mean, depending on, like, my body, if I did it, I would need to be fully taken out of a stretch. It was great. That's cool. Well, how hard is it? It's fun. It's hard.

It's hard. And then you feel, you feel great. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you came. I slept with our instructor. Well, then it was awesome. Hey, definitely. I want, not only don't take that out. I want that twice. Can you do, can you play it and then play it again? Lucky girl. Please. I'm proud. So then that was it. So you came. You started working. So I came. And then like it was kind of like we realized that like, oh, like, you're actually doing this. I'm actually doing this. And like I was like good at it. And, and then it was like, I was going to just be there for the writing. And then it was like, oh, like, I should also be here for when we're shooting this because, like, that would be good too. And then it was going to be, like, right from there.

Amy was going to go and start, like, working on train wreck. And she was like, hey, like, can you also, like, come and do this as well? And then this idiot's living in L.A. And then so. And what are those apartments called? The Oakwoods. She was in the Oakwood. Oh, my God.

I met her husband. It's looking like this is what we're going to do. So then I called Vinny and I was like, hey, and then they gave him a fucking sabbatical. I was like, your people gave you a sabbatical. And so he and my dog and we all like went to L.A. And then that was. And now you're here. I'm in Connecticut.

You're in Connecticut. Yeah, yeah. Fun. And then. I'm happy to be back. I'm so happy to be back. Oh, my God. It's been so nice because I just like I come here.

I'm here probably like once a month on average. more yeah it's it's been it's been so just even you know you're at that close proximity yeah well the day that gene that that gene was born i was i was here or whatever and then because he wasn't going to be here to the next week i was like okay see you next week and i went home and then amy calling was like hey actually and i was like okay and i came right back you know if i was in chicago i that couldn't have happened you know it's just it's it's so nice being this close i love it's so nice everything by each other pretty much no no no no no Not really.

It's nice. We're, we're, we do run a lot. I run a lot of, is this behavior I did unacceptable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'll say, you know, what we, that's what we do with each other. We go like, was I wrong? It's a lot of was I wrong. Yes, yes, yeah.

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is that an active thought for you? Yeah, an active thought for me is, you know, I'm like I've never, I haven't yet like spent the night away from him. Um, and I have a hard time leaving and even to, for a couple hours,

for work, just leaving the room, you know, that guilt and the shame and the, and I have been teaching myself like, you're not that important you know like just the mom is very important but it's like don't make him don't make yourself this important to him in your mind and don't you know I still want to be present and be a great mom but I don't want to I don't want like I don't want to make myself his life you don't really say things like mama loves you or like you know stuff like like yeah you don't really put yourself in sentences about him or whatever it's more like

like what do you want and what do you what are you doing and everything like that yeah you don't really make it which like no i just want him to be his own but i have the same thing i mean with rider i didn't leave until he was two almost two and a half for the first time i mean i had a full on because you want them to feel so love secure and it was my own and and and he i mean yeah it was obviously great for him to have that kind of attachment and I went everywhere with them. I didn't leave it. Well, it's called security. Right. The studies have shown that a child who has secure attachment does very well in life. Yeah. Children that don't, their trajectory is not very good. Yeah. So there's the secure attachment and then there's the other level. Well, then there's, that's a different thing. Then there's

Munchausen. Yeah. Yeah. But it's between, it's between, you know, zero and like two, two and a half years old. Yeah. And that's when that's when it, and it doesn't have to be a mom. It can be any consistent caregiver. That's who like the learning of like, you know, he loves his nanny, Jane and Jane loves him so much. This sounds like I'm doing Tarzan. And Jane, Jane love Jean. But, uh, and to not feel weird about that because he loves me too, you know, it's like I want him to love the person. Yes, and you want him to know what love is because that's really important. I know that there's a lot of gals who will have babies and they become jealous of their nanny. And then the baby wants the nanny and doesn't want the mommy.

And I remember thinking, that child is learning how to love. Yeah, just. And as many people as this kid, my babies can love is the greatest thing ever. Fearlessly love. Yeah. You know, and I never felt like that because you always know the child is always going to love you. unfortunately no matter what you know you can't shake them right you know like they would feel better if you were there all the time um but just making sure it's not about me i i also try to remind people too

it's a funny thing because when people go oh you've you know nannies or help you whatever i always say people don't realize that we weren't supposed to do this on our own yeah like we were all in a TEP together raising each other's children. We had to work, we had to farm, we had to... Everybody chipped in for survival. Everybody was doing for a thing. And we were always helping each other with our childbearing. It was what we did.

It was like the elephants. For some reason now one woman, one woman is supposed to be everything to all the children. And it's an impossible fee. And, you know, it's impossible. You're asking the impossible of, it goes against our species. I don't even know what that's based on. Was there like a time in consumerism where there was like that woman that were... I mean, it's such a lie.

I mean, it had to be... I mean, I'm sure... Well, I remember I did this film Swing Shift, right? Yeah. And that movie was all about what happened during the Second World War. Well, with these women. And we all went in and it was Rosie the Riveter. And they became...

They got jobs, right? And they suddenly became sort of actualized. And in many ways, sexualized and ways that they could fix their own toaster. and they became independent. And what was interesting about the notion of the movie is that they had all the propaganda about the end of the movie, which it shows is that they have new dishwashers. They had new washing machines.

And they brought women back into the kitchen. They wanted to bring them back in. And this was sort of the theme of the movie, the messaging. And no, exactly. So it was like loring them back into that world of service and not any, the self didn't, A sparkly mop.

A sparkly, and a lovely, a lovely little apron. Lovely apron. But we're only just coming out of that now, I feel like, these last couple of years where everybody's eyes are really open to how insane we got used to being treated. Oh, yeah. How everybody felt like it was okay. I feel like it's still, like, really good. Well, I have to say, too, when you came on the scene and the things that you were talking about,

And I remember thinking, oh, okay, so this is going to change the dialogue of how women talk about themselves. And I think you had a huge, huge part in that because you were the first woman to be accepted who really came out and was like, you know what? I'm going to actually just talk about how it really is for me as a woman. And I think vagina was in there somewhere. Vigina was in there. But you know what? I need to like throw it back to you and say that I think. think that I was really inspired by a lot of your work like just that's the truth that's

would nobody like to take a compliment and and you know you weren't at all in any way in influence and I'm sorry about that um no but I mean that's really cool because that's exactly how I feel but you but you did make it okay for a lot of women to feel like oh I can be more truthful like a human yeah yeah the audacity of yeah trying to be treated like a yeah so it gosh the audacity of just deciding that you wanted to make a movie that, you know, you had to figure out how to be the leader and I'll say, I'm going to, I want to produce. Yeah, no, and produce, yeah. They're like, just put your top shoes on.

It really was a double-edged sword. And I'm talking to these women yesterday, I just, you know, this is where it's like, but these women are from this, you know, they grow tomatoes. They harvest the tomatoes. in Florida. They're like this, the Immokalee coalition, this tribe.

And these women from Guatemala, like, what if I was like the person who tried to say it, right? From Guatemala. Like, I just hit it hard. Anyway, and you're like,

oh, they, but anyway, they're these farm workers and they make about 13 grand a year, you know, and they fought,

And 80% of these workers get assaulted in the field, sexually assault in the field, starting at 14 years old. Anyway, they got together and they came up with the Fair Food Act. So just there's oversight. And so you can, you know, and so the tomatoes on the burgers that you get from McDonald's or Burger King or all these places signed on for the Fair Food Act. So you know that those workers are protected. And then there's some places like Wendy's or Publix or Kroger's that are like we're not signing on to that. But like these women band together and made this change, you know, and just seeing another woman act like a human and demand to be treated just like bare minimum like a human, it really inspires other people to do that. And I felt that from you guys, you know, and hearing that you guys felt it for me, it's cool.

I think it's the dialogue, everything is happening, but there still is this little part of me that every time I walk into a room, you know it's a little bit like, don't, don't, now. Right. Yeah. Just be this one thing. Right. And you're like, I'm not trying to be rude, but I created all of these jobs. Yes.

I mean, you are essentially a job creator. Yeah. Right. I'd be doing like an arena. I'd be like about to do. you know, where the basketball teams play. And the people backstage, it would be like, oh, Madison Square Garden, baby.

And it's like, oh, do you, you need this? Do you, you complaining about the music's not loud enough or whatever? I'm like, yeah. Yes, I am. These people are here because I'm here, you know. It's kind of wild. You treat me like you treat the guys. I sometimes sit very quietly and I watch some of my male peers do certain things.

And I do clock them. like, if I did that, if I did that, that would be right out of this business. If I did that, that would never go over. Not saying it, people would tell the story for years. They'll probably lie and say it happened anyway. Not saying it doesn't even like occur to them. Like I, there's not a moment before they say something that they're like, should I maybe not?

Like there's no. Right. Now there's no. Yeah, yeah. Now there's a little doubt. Just a little doubt. But that's what is so fascinating to me that they're not like, should I? It's just like thought, here it is, you know.

I'm just like, that's why I love in like a Beyonce documentary or Nikki Minaj or just or Taylor's, whatever, there's those moments where you see them stand up for themselves. And it's like, oh, it's a little alarming to see a woman. I know, but it's also like, can you believe we actually have, like, it's been as bad as it has? Yeah. Well, by the way, I mean, I've been doing this a lot of years. Have you been in this game a while? I'm hearing this generation.

Yeah. It's, we like to think that the needle has much. moved, but very slowly. Yeah. I mean, it's just the way it is, you know. Tell us every single thing that happens right now. Yeah, and part two. And wealthy in a relationship.

Yeah. That's another one, which is like, you know, you want to feel like a girl, you want to be sexy, you want to be this and that, you want to figure out how to make it all right. And it's very tough to be really successful in the world and hold a relationship. it's very difficult. For you, it's like you were the epitome of adorable and bubbly and giggly and it must have been so hard for people to also accept you as as a smart, strong, business-minded, like really hard. I don't even. I mean, if I get, if I laugh at all in a meeting, it's just to turn, I go right

back to zero. Yeah. Air ahead. It's like you have to make a choice. You got to make a full person. Exactly. Yeah. I figured if I walked in like showing my teeth and they wouldn't be upset, you know. See, I never got braces so I would have that, like see the bottom here? Like, I would have the opposite. She has a very intimidating bottom row.

Our sponsor is locks. Okay. Advice to sisters who want to work together. Oh, do it. That's it. It's good advice. Yeah. Okay, do it.

I can do it. One word to describe the other. One word. Fat. No, babe, the other. Oh, sorry. Less fat. No.

Hilarious. Funny. Ew. You're such a bitch. Who's better at following rules? Me. Yeah, Kim. One word to describe each other at 12.

Powerful. Who texts the other more? Me? Yeah, maybe you text more. I call more. Favorite book? Oh, her favorite book? Harry Potter.

Your favorite book? TV. Yeah, I love it. Have you ever seen it? I've turned a few pages on television. Yeah. Oh, God. Who's an easier person to make laugh?

Oh, you're probably easier to make laugh. She's a really good laugh. Mom's the easiest to make laugh for us in our family. Oh, really? Yeah. Then I'm second, I think. Yeah, I bet. Who can come up with a better punchline?

Amy. Kim. We call her the closer on our TV show because she would always think of the closing punchline, which is the hardest. Oh, that's true. And I'm just good at, like, little, like, you laugh like you're reading a book like that's funny isn't it interesting though because someone's a punchline is just to look yeah and that's the best those are the best ones yeah so cool who is more likely to suggest taking a photo me oh yeah yeah yeah well i was gonna say

we don't really we both like proof of life you know like i if we're having a nice moment like we don't want it to end it's like somebody take a picture of this like you want to look at later yeah most disagreed on topic or most disagreed on topic I don't know what that means like going like traveling like what do you guys disagree

I would say I want her to travel like doing things like activities yeah and she thinks that I should like teach our our dog how to go to the bathroom outside I have I have been pretty firm on that And I just don't see that for her. I don't see that for her.

And by the looks, she doesn't see. She's not. No, she doesn't. I've been a sterile plan. I had a little one, too. And I think it's also just a lazy parent because I had a lot of pee-p-pads. I was like, no, she's fine. She can pee-p-p-pads all over.

And that would be great if the pee-p-p-pads were taken as a suggestion. Well, no rugs are, if the new pee-p-pad, it's just rugs. I close my bedroom door here. Yeah. Who has a better poker face? Amy. What? Well, at poker me, but in life, Amy.

In life, me. In life me. But she's actually at poker. She's an actual better poker face. But, okay, if they had to eat one fast food forever, what would it be? We're just nothing. We're just both going pasta. It's both just, yeah, we would skip the fast food for pasta.

This is fun. This is so fun. One thing you can do yourself. sister can't oh make a man orgasm yeah i haven't i've been googling i read a book no what that's why i don't have any kids i can do um i can do i can open a bottle of wine yeah make like a cocktail yeah and you can function in society no what can you do that i can't that you can't I have better, like, you have a really good memory. She tested my IQ once, she was a school psychologist.

And I tested in some categories as a true genius. Yeah. And then in some categories as if I, no offense to anyone, but like as if I had Down syndrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's not a dig, that's the numbers. It was numbers. Yeah, yeah. But what your, your, my word recognition.

Like, if I read, if I read a list of words, I'll have full confidence, but I'll read them wrong. Yeah, yeah. So your short-term memory. And my memory is good. Your long-term memory is great, but her ability to attend and focus on something is like. It's almost non-existent. So that's something that I can do really well. She has to go, yeah.

Who gives better relationship advice? Probably you. Probably me. Career advice? I think it's just it's different We both have such like narrow We're both not good at navigating like the business No

We just both like writing and whatever Yeah we're both like We could both use a lesson Yeah But I mean we're not good at You know because a lot of people A lot of the business in L.A It's like people pretending to give notes or something

And we're like fuck that Tell them their fucking idiots and walk out Yeah And that's probably not the best And then they destroy you Yeah Then they destroy you My favorite note I ever got on a movie

was, I just don't like bows. And I went, I can't change that. Wait, you mean like bow, like little bows? No, like bows, like on clothes. She didn't like. How did they get in any room? Well, we know you're not talking about Amy Pascal. Play that twice.

Play that one twice. If you could do another job, what would it be? A tugbook captain. Oh, you'd be great at that. I trained in it for a little while. You know driving boats. I'd like to do that. I'll do that with you.

I can talk a boat. You help. It's a whole beautiful life. I can dock a boat like no, but like people would be shocked. That's incredible. That's incredible. Like one like right in there. That's really cool.

Hardly even need to. I'll just do that with you guys. Okay. You're going to be able to talk about? Oh, yeah, I'll help out on the boat. Okay. So our last question is always a two-part question. And, and each person, each,

we ask, what is it about your sister that is something, a characteristic that you wish that you had more of in your life? And then what is one characteristic that you kind of wish or sort of anxiety or something that you wish you could alleviate from your sister because you knew it would be good for her? Amy is the bravest, most straightforward person I know. And I think that that would, it's almost like there's something just so unquestionable about how she lives her life that I think would alleviate such anxiety in mind. Like she, if there's something, if there's some injustice going on, there's not even like a question if it's going to be addressed. Like there's no should I, shouldn't I address it or take care of it. Like we were on

our way home yesterday from something and there were there was like two guys on the street about to get in a fight and like she didn't like check in with me about this or anything like this she just went what and rolled the window down she went cops are coming the police are coming you know and immediately just like like got because like a delivery guy was being yelled at and it wasn't even a thought like should i interject should i intercede if if she sees something that's not right, nothing else fucking matters. She's going to address it and do whatever she can to fix it. And I wish that I had that, like, I'll, like, I could, like, I'll probably eventually arrive at some semblance of like the brave thing to do. But like, it's not, it's just, it's just part

of her. And I have always, and it always has been. And I've just respected that so much. And I wish that I had that bravery of myself. And the thing that I would like alleviate from her, I don't know. I have to think about that. I don't know. Can I think for a hot sec? Well, I'll start with what I would alleviate, which is holding on to,

some anger. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like I'm better at like getting rid of my anger. Yeah. And, um, you know, yeah,

like just that's what I would alleviate like just a place for you to put your deserved, deserved anger. Um, and what I would love to have, uh, possess that Kim possesses is, um, um,

like, like, I don't know, she has this cool shirt that I really like. It's probably your shirt that I stole from you. No, she has a real capacity to love and enjoy people. Like, she doesn't love a lot of people, you know. She doesn't let a lot of people get close to her. But if you are one of the few people that she knows she loves,

she loves, it's like you feel like you're safe and you're going to, you'll be okay no matter what. And she has like made me understand that we have each other for life in a way because of being a little older than her experiencing our parents. Like it's pretty incredible that I can even have that um and yeah she's just really selective and like we can love endlessly in a way that i wish i could more anyway well if you should choose to forgo your room to me come to the bachelor suite with me that's so fun my god don't tell us what happened we're still The alleviate thing is actually like a bizarre twist on the anger thing. Oh, oh my God.

You wish I would get more anger? I think you should cut the people out of your life who aren't fucking totally good to you and who don't only bring you good positive things. All right. Fine. Goldie. Get right at notice. That really is.

That really is my thing. That's a cool suggestion. I like that one. I really do think that. I think that's actually, everybody has. That's a great certain people anyway. have people in your life that suck the air out of you cut them out i think there are a lot of and you keep letting it happen yeah i've cut some out a lot when jean was born yeah but i could

probably make some more and i'd like to be the one to do it i i have moments in my life for i'm like i do i think about that all the time i'm like why am i still in this yeah what am i waiting what am i yeah what is it when people show you who they are believe them believe them uh-huh believe them um i love you guys i love you too i love you guys this was so amazing so happy oliver has the flu i know oliver sorry for your influenza a even though and grateful that he's okay yeah um

but thank you for doing this and i'm so happy love you i love you Oliver Hudson and Sim Sarna. Supervising producer is Alison Bresnick. Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Monk.

I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see?

It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment,

a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us father and daughter for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Introducing IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families,

it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patience. You think you're finally like in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IvyF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.