Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Andra Day and Nadea Guillory

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

Andra Day is a Grammy-nominated musician and Golden Globe-winning actress. She joins Kate and Oliver on "Sibling Revelry" with her sister Nadea Guillory, who is the favorite of the family. They talk about growing up in Southeast San Diego, discuss lessons they learned from their parents, insomnia, religion, and more.Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by Boll & Branch (www.bollandbranch.com PROMO CODE: sibling), Each & Every (www.eachandevery.com/sibling PROMO CODE: Sibling30), Coors Light, and Policy Genius (www.policygenius.com.)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling. No, no. Sibling reverie.

Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling Reveory. That's good. Oliver, I'm so happy because we finally got to get Andra and Nadia on sibling revelry. They're just, it's, there's special people. And Dee was amazing and the work that she is doing, you know, again, and watching with autistic children, and you watch her sister, who is this superstar, just revering her, you know, sibling revelry at its best.

Yeah. And it's just beautiful to sort of watch, you know, how she gushes over her service and her life and what she's doing. Yeah. I cried. I secretly was, I cried a little bit, no one saw. Inside, I know. And you can tell D's energy is just really amazing. She's got that special sauce, you know, that you, that you can't, it's like, you, you just know she's got a really beautiful soul.

But anyway, no need to keep anybody waiting. This was exciting for us. And we, we loved interviewing them. This is Andrea and Nadia. Oh, I'm so happy this worked out. Yeah, me too. I'm so excited. Hi, Oliver.

Hi, how are you? I'm well. Thank you so much. We were talking about your names and how often people probably get the pronunciation of both of your names wrong. Yes. People probably say Andra, but it's Andra.

Uh-huh, yep. And people say Nadia, but it's Nadia. Nadia, yep. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. I just want to clear that up immediately for everybody out there. What happens when someone gets that wrong?

Do you just let them get it wrong or do you usually correct them? What do you do, Dee? Do you correct them when they get your name wrong? I correct them usually the first time and then they keep getting it wrong. I'm just like, you know, whatever. That's my name. I think for me, I'm just like, it's fun. It's just more energy to be like, I know in most situations I'm going to walk and do someone's going to be like,

Hey, Anjohn, I'd be like, hey, boo. And then just leave it at that. But I know you feel it, too, because I'm sure everywhere you go, they're always like, Cotte. Yeah, Cotte girl, right? No, it's more like, it's more like, it's more like I get every Cate. Yeah. I've been Kate Winslet.

I've been Kate Holmes. I've been Kate Blanchett. Right. No, I'm not any of those Cates. Yeah. Well, good. I don't know. You guys have never met Ollie, right?

No, unfortunately, no, but I'm here now, you know. I'm here now. Nice to meet you now. Right, there we go. Nice to meet you guys. Do you and Kate know each other? Mm-hmm. Yeah, we met.

Was Marshall the first time that we met? I feel like we met before. Like, why don't I feel like? I feel like we met before, but I think it was more like I was a fan from afar and we had like connections from afar. Well, likewise. Same thing, too. because I just remember meeting you and being like,

oh, wow, K. Hudson knows who I am. This is crazy. The first time we met was at the Marshall, you know, and the Marshall with Oprah. And where are you guys right now? Are you in separate states? Yes. I'm in Washington State.

Yeah. And I'm in Los Angeles, California. You know what I was thinking to, and we'll start this. I was saying during the Golden Globe, you know we our family was at home we were all at home and like I was sitting and you know how they set up the weird rooms and then next thing I know it's like our my category and we're we're all sitting there and like the whole family just is sitting around me and I'm like I don't know if

this is what we're supposed to be doing but like and then I felt so relieved that when it when you were on that your whole family had been like, because did they try to give you the thing in the beginning, they're like, okay, well, we really only want you on camera. And then I was like, no. And they were like, you and one other person,

I was like, y'all, I got to just tell you, it's going to be everybody. It's going to be everywhere. I honestly think that they thought that my family would never, like, do that. But that's like who our family is. So it's like, I didn't even get the memo. I remember looking at everybody.

else going, I'm not, this isn't right. This just is not right. See, now, I'm glad so we saved each other because I felt the same way. I was like, oh, man, they're really not going to be happy about this. But I was like, well, okay, if we've all been like quarantining together, you know, I was kind of like, what's the point of being like, it's not the actual event, you know what I mean? So, yeah, it was, no, I let them know in the beginning. I was like, sorry, I'm just going to go ahead and break that rule right now. It was so fun. And it was such a. joy to watch you win. Oh, thank you so much.

I just love you in that movie. Thank you. Thank you so much. It was crazy. My gosh. That experience. Well, let's start, now it's about you guys. So let's start with, where did you grow up? Let's see. Where did we grow up, Dee?

We grew up in San Diego, California. I'm very specific, southeast San Diego. Just in case everybody's like, wow. Well, because I think like, you know, San Diego is like very much a tourist place, you know what I mean? So it's kind of like a vacation town, sleeping town, senior town, whatever. You know, so I think everybody assumes if you grew up in San Diego, then you had like a really gray house by the beach, which would have been the bomb.

I would have been so happy with that, no problem. But, you know, I like to, where we grew up, it was like primarily like minority neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, and I feel like most people just don't know about this area that it doesn't exist. But that's where all my inspiration comes from. You know what I mean? With the art, the music, with everything. I like to, you know, tout southeast San Diego specifically.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, people have a different idea of what San Diego looks like. 100%. Yeah, 100%. It's like surfboards and college town. Yeah. And the city actually wants it to stay that way. So we kind of get like dusted under, you know what I mean?

But now I'm like, oh, okay, cool. As soon as I get this golden globe, I'm bringing it right back to the city. How many siblings are there? Uh, there's four of us in total, right? Yeah, it's me, her, and two brothers. Yeah. And who's the oldest? I'm the oldest.

Nadia's the oldest. Even though she looks the youngest, right. This industry's, listen, this industry is stressing me to fuck out. She always says that. Really? Look at her skin, Lamar. Lamar skin. No, no, no.

Billy Holiday snatched my youth, so now my oldest is to looking like the one I took care of. Hold on. I want to dive into that. I want to get into that first second. It snatched your youth. I know you're being hyperbolic. But was it tough? I mean, did it really cause that much stress?

Yeah, I mean, because I was starving myself too a lot. So I lost the 40 pounds. I tried to do it healthily at first. And then I was like, okay, I can't look. You know how it is the difference. Like with your body, you lose weight now. Then we're like heart. Like, if you lose weight now, the proper way, you look amazing.

You look like your sister, okay? And you too, probably Oliver, but I ain't seen you with your shirt off. But so I didn't want to have, like, abs. You know, it needed to be loose skin. And so I was starving myself. I did start smoking cigarettes. I was drinking collagen. You know what I mean?

I was not sleeping because I'm a musician. So the hours with filming is not the same. So, and the doctor was like, yeah, if you lose weight that way, your cheeks get gone. Everything does take a huge toll on your body. So, yeah, you know, it was really cute. I'm just going to focus on the before the movie pictures before the movie selfies. I don't know if people realize that when you're taking on certain roles, actually prepare for them like an athlete.

Like you have to get to this place and he'd be super disciplined. And sometimes it requires like that you to actually go to places that can be really kind of really hard on your, even your mental state. But, you know, and also, you know, look, Lee is not and, you know, he's going to push you. And I was, you know, had an opportunity to hopefully we were going to do this movie together and ended up not happening. but I got to spend some time with him working with him and he's intense.

Super. Yeah. And it's a joy when you're an artist to work with someone like that because I can only... Yeah, it's like every detail. I also love like the spontaneity of it. So you just never know what's going to jump into the scene

or sometimes he'll show up on set and just say, what do you think? You know, I like that he's collaborative too. What do you think, you know, you want to direct this? But he will not... And I love it. For me, I was so terrified of just like sucking. You know what I mean?

So the fact that he won't, he will spend whatever time, whatever budget he needs to get every iota of like authenticity. So I feel like that to me was like, okay, you know, if he says we got it, then we're good, you know. So let me ask a question real quick because I'm, and then I want to get into the whole sort of sibling world. But, you know, when you do something like you did and then they rap the movie, you know, do you know, do you feel as an artist in your guts that you just did something amazing? Or are you just unsure or do you kind of even think that you did shitty? You know what? I honestly, my only barometer was Lee and everybody on set. I really, honestly, I mean, maybe because it's my first experience.

Also, interestingly enough, the moments that I felt like, oh, maybe I kind of did, you know, I did that right. It was like, let's do it again. I'm like, oh, damn. And then when I would think it was like, then when I would think that was horrible, we're definitely going to do it again, they'd be like, checking the gate. I would like, check it, what? So it's like, he really, the only reason I had any idea that I did well was because of Lee being like, it is phenomenal, it's amazing, or my cast, you know what I mean? Or, you know, my co-stars, you know, just coming in and saying, yo, you know, telling me

because I don't know what that feels like in myself. So yeah. And then even leaving said, it was just like, all right, in my mind, I was like waiting for everybody to just be like, wow, she was terrible, but we expected her to be because she's a singer, so let's all move on with our lives. So, you know, it was definitely not expected what happened. Was acting ever something that you wanted to do? I mean, a little. What I really wanted to do was take some time off for music, really take time off of music, to focus on the craft of acting, to build it up, you know, because it's, like you said, you prepare for like an athlete,

you take time. But I really was only going to do that just to do like a couple of little, maybe bit parts, because I want to make films, you know what I'm saying? So I want to write and co-direct and co-produce. But I'm like, if I don't dabble in the world even a little bit, I don't want to just jump in all disrespectful. Like, hey, y'all, you know, we're going to do something. But so that's how I feel about music. It's the opposite. Listen, listen, listen, you might want to jump on an album, Kay, because it might be some Grammys in your future.

Wait, unless they already are, then sorry for not knowing that. From your mouth to God's ears. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. But yeah, so, yeah, it was. Not fully, but, you know, yeah. So let's go into your guys until, like, okay, she grew up in southeast San Diego. Yes, thank you.

I just want to put on record that Kate Hudson says southeast San Diego, y'all. You have four siblings, two brothers, two sisters. And it's you're the oldest? Yes, I'm the oldest. And then is it, so two girls, two boys? Yeah. How old are they? How is Jackson now?

Jack is 30. We're not really great with birth toys and ages. Jacks is the baby. Yeah, Jacks is the baby. And then Josh is, Josh is 35, four, I don't know, you know. 35. 35, I think, yeah. No, he's not, he's 34.

He's about to be 35 in July. July 9th is my brother's birthday. You know, I just know birthdays. I know birthdays. You know what's crazy? My day-to-day manager had to just be like four. He's 34. I'm like, thank you, Josh.

For telling me my brother's age. this age. So we're losing as siblings right now to be in this too. I have to usually go online and look you up and then and then I know how old you are. But I know your birthday. I know your birthday. Boom. Yeah. I just forget. You are and you are how much older that? How old are you? I'm 41. And you're 30. 36. And same parents? Same mom, different dads. Yeah. But like basically same dad. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. He was the one in your life. He raised me. Yeah. He definitely raised me. Yeah. Okay. So you were the first baby, different dad.

Mom was like, that's no. Yeah, that's no. Burm. Right. And then stepdad comes into the picture. Yeah, I was three, I think. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. So he raised me. I mean, that's my dad. Yeah. Yeah. We have the same situation. Oh, really? Okay. And who's Kurt came in when we were, I was three and I was six. Ah, okay. Okay, cool.

Yeah. I mean, then, yeah, our dad sort of left the picture when I was probably around 11, I think. Wow. Wow. But I've had some reconnection. Oh, okay. But, you know, it's through texts, but it's something, you know, but Kurt, for all intents and purposes as my father. Yeah. I completely understand, yeah. Yeah, same thing. I mean, we have a connection, but it is definitely through text. We don't really talk on the phone. We live in the same state, but we just don't have.

Was there a reconnection to deal? Was it always sort of a slow, sort of burn with you guys, or was there a separation and then an actual moment where you made the decision to say, oh, I want to get to know you better, or him to you? Funny story. My uncle, so my mom's brother was in prison with him. And so they ran into each other in prison. And my uncle said, do you want your daughter's phone number or address? And so he said yes.

And he started to write me letters from prison. And how old were you? I was 27. Well, no, no. Sorry. I was like about 25 at that time. So it was like, you know, it was hard because. I'm so connected to my dad, my stepdad. I hate saying stepdad. I know. It's so weird. It's so weird,

you know, because he raised me. Like, that's pretty much all I knew, you know? Yeah. But, and we, I worked a little bit at the relationship with him, but it's such a different dynamic than what I was raised in. So I tended to kind of be standoffish, you know, and I, I didn't embrace it, you know. And I think I still am that way with him. You know, I think he is too. You know, we're still kind of strangers getting to know each other, you know, after all this time. It makes sense. You know, I'm, yeah.

What's the connection with you guys, like now with your father? You know what I mean? Like, where is that relationship at? If you don't mind my asking. No, not at all. I mean, so I've told this story a little bit before, but, I mean, three or four years ago, I was doing a job in New Orleans, and it was Father's Day. and I decided to make a dark, humored joke,

and I posted a picture of my dad and Kate and I in better time, sort of arms around each other, and I said, happy abandonment day. Yes. And the shit took off, right? The press picked it up, and then it blew up into this whole thing. He went to papers and said, take my Hudson name away from your thing.

He went off, right? But it was a beautiful thing at the end, honestly, because what it did was is it spurned conversation. So I hit him up. I got his number. I texted him. And we had a conversation where I sort of put him on the witness stand. We were just going over our whole journey.

Then I saw him and had lunch or breakfast with him. And then I had lunch with him and we drank a ton of beers and we were crying. And it just developed into what it is right now, which is sort of a trying relationship, not in the bad, not in the, not in the bad sense of trying times. We're trying and it's, it's, we're giving what we are capable of right now. But that stupid post was the thing that kind of brought us somewhat together. It's probably like freeing maybe for your, you know, I think that's interesting, like the

concept of forgiveness. I think we always think it's like, oh, forgiveness let somebody off the hook. But I, to me, I look at it. It's like, it frees yourself, really. you know what I mean from like that that kind of like trauma people always want to talk about like health and wellness and I'm like forgiveness is the number one thing that we all forget like if we don't understand how to do that there's no peace inside of anybody like yeah absolutely even even the hardest most challenging traumatic situations if you can forgive yeah you can find some sense of peace I think you know I know I mean you guys you guys grew up quite religious right Yeah, I think we grew up, yeah, definitely. Well, what do you say? I guess maybe we grew up religious and then grew up religious.

And then grew out of the religion into like a faith, you know, relationship. That's what we say. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I talk about that all the time, just religion and faith and how separate those two things are.

But growing up, I mean, did you guys all get along? Was it, like, what kind of household was it? was it boisterous? Was it loud? Was it naughty? Was it? I mean, I lived there, so it was definitely loud for sure. Yeah, it was loud. Very loud. I mean, what would you say? I feel, I don't know, for me personally, and I, you know, again, she was, you know, the older sibling, you know, so our experiences, it's, it wasn't until I got older where I realized some of our experiences were different, right? But I, to me, I always experienced my siblings as we fought. like normal siblings, but we've always been like best friends and super tight knit.

You know what I mean? So I feel like when other stuff goes crazy, we just kind of were like, all right, why don't we just have a full breakdown together? You know what I'm saying? So I feel like, yeah, I mean, the house was definitely boisterous. I mean, he's four kids, four different types of kids. All of us really have kind of bigger personalities. You and Josh are probably the more subdued.

Jackson likes to pretend that he's subdued. He's not. He's exactly like me. So, so like, but I think that it was, yeah, I was definitely boisterous. But we, I don't know, my siblings and I think, you know, drastic differences in age, but we were, we were tight-knit. You know what I mean? We were.

I think we're close, yeah. Yeah. It's like five years and then a couple. And then you and your brother are probably the closest in age. Mm-hmm. And then Jackson is, what, five, five, four years younger, the baby. Yeah. Jackson's four years younger than us.

Mm-hmm. So during school, like, was it a creative household or was it a sports household? Like, what was your mom into? Mm. Dang, what, you know, it's really interesting, I feel, looking, not, because clearly by mine and her reaction, we just didn't pay attention to do shit at home. We just were like, look, well, how was the house? Like, you know, I don't know. Mom was very focused on, I think, church and going to church.

and went to kind of, well, I'm just going to say it, a cult church. Yeah, I was a weird-ass church, bro. Yeah, I was weird. I was like, how come this guy keeps talking to us through a projector, bro? And why is he so old? But I was a kid, so that's all the same. Yeah. Yeah.

It was weird. People would ask us all the time, are you Jehovah's Witness? We're like, we don't know. We just know that there's free cookies at the end of every service. It was like literally a culty type of It was like I mean that's extreme D you don't think that's extreme To be like it was culty

I mean it was weird and shit Like we couldn't There was a mix of a lot of things Well we couldn't celebrate Christmas We couldn't celebrate Halloween We couldn't celebrate birthdays Yeah we couldn't But it was a mix of a bunch of different things

So it was all the restrictions from every religion Basically placed into one thing Yeah it was weird I was like Wait, you didn't celebrate holidays? No. No. Like, birthday is it at the end.

Do you go overboard with holidays now? Do you like, do you like have more Christmas decorations than anybody on your block? You first of all, actually, oh my God, now that you bring this up, my neighbor was just laughing at me because we just took the damn reindeer down. Oh, wait a minute. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Kate still has Christmas lights up. I'm not even shitting. Like, she, I think you've given up, Kate.

It's like, fuck it. I'm just going to keep them. up all year. Yeah, just wait. I feel like me, I'm like the opposite, maybe because I'm so bad when it comes to birthday celebrations, Christmas celebrations, any celebrations. I'm just like, you guys, can we just like hit each other up on occasion and hope it lands on one of those days?

You know, like, but my mom's like, really, my mother loves that stuff. You know what I'm saying? Like, Nadia, you're kind of in between. You like it and I think you like doing it, but you also sometimes are like me where you're like, okay, the shit is interesting. This is done. Yeah. Because I had, when I bought my house, I had a huge thing and everybody came over.

And then I was like, done. Okay. We're not doing. I had everybody over. I'm good now. But now you're saying your mom doesn't subscribe to whatever that cult situation. No, no, no. My mom, like, she totally went the opposite direction.

My mom was like every sweet, every holiday, every decoration, every, everything. Literally, we have a whole downstairs. That's so interesting. Like, what would you attribute that? sort of switched to or can you even point pinpoint it i think i can i feel like you said what being deprived of celebration fucking up over it yeah she also like like my mom's still a person of faith you know what i'm saying so and i think she says for her it was actually for we are christian and so you know but again i i'm very specific about christian faith and relationship and not religion

because we've got the crazies with the loud bullhorns lately. But so for my mom, she says that she attributes it to actually becoming, developing a real genuine relationship with God with Christ. And actually that being freeing and it not being this thing that's like, you can't do this, you can't do this, you can't do this. And so once she was like, discovered that, she was like, oh, peace, I'm out. And how old were you guys? I mean, were you younger when she actually went through that realization?

You would know better than me, Dee. How old were we? I think I was, I was 16 when I said I'm not going back. Yeah. And then I think in a few years after that, mom kind of stopped going. Yeah, she did. That's true. Yeah.

I was just, I was too young. I was still just disappointed about like free cookies and shit. I was like, damn, man, no more animal crackers. And stepdad, are stepdad and mom still together or dad and mom still together? Nah. Oh, no. No. Okay.

It's funny when you get to this age and you. realize like, you know, when you're young, you're like, oh, those are my parents. They should always be there. And then you get older. Like, I'm 36 now and I realize I'm like, oh, yeah, like that's just her ex dude. And then that's just his ex-girl. You know what I mean? Like, that's just like, that's really what it is. Like, now I know the dynamic. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, they're not together. How was his sort of influence in your life? What was his vibe like? I mean, he was, he was, I mean, he was, I would say, I mean, he was firm, you know.

Yeah, he was, yeah. He was definitely a disciplinarian for sure. We got whoopins like, for real. I still, he still tells the story of when we had, I was like, how in the hell did we move into the only house on the entire block in the entire neighborhood with a fucking weeping willow tree in the front? Like, how did we find the one tree that grows switches? He could pull the switches off of the tree. out switches from the ground. So, like, I was like, but he always tells a story

because he did it when he was young, I guess. When he told me, go pull a switch off the trail. I was like, damn. So I came back and pulled it out from behind. It was a leaf. And he started dying laughing because my dad was, he was a disciplinary and he was strict. But he was funny as hell.

I mean, he's like a clown. My dad is such a jokester. Like, so I don't know. Yeah. Remember when he used to embarrass you when we'd pull up to like dry crews and he would do those voices or he would be like bumping in that rickety ass man? Yes. Yeah, he would always say, because I hated that blue van.

Like, it was embarrassing. He listened to Tupac coming up into my high school with a busted out speaker. And then he would wear these holy shirts in the morning. So he's like, if you don't give me a hug. So he's like, if you don't give me a hug, then I'm going to come out of the band and I'm going to embarrass you. I was like, oh, my God. My dad had a thing for mesh shirts like most men did back in the day. You know what I'm like, man, bro, why your nipples are always out?

Oh, you know. Oh, yeah. Those football, those practice football jersey. Exactly. So, yeah. It was a mesh. That's what I say. It was artistic in sports.

You guys should get him one of those for Christmas. Oh, I know. That's a really good idea, actually. That's a good idea. That would be really funny. It would be a great Christmas photo. By the way, we should bring me my shirts back. Those things were great.

Guys and Neckhirts was the best. Yeah, let's bring that back for sure. That's a good one. Oliver, Policy Genius. Here's what I love about this. This is the leading online insurance marketplace. The mission is to help people get insurance right by making it easy for them to understand their options, compare quotes, and buy a policy all in one place.

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Sibling 30 don't wait get off your ass go get 30% off right now use promo code Sibling 30 at each and every dot com slash sibling I'm going to call you D now since that's right yeah there's D everybody calls me D I know what do you do for a living oh gosh what do i do um i'm a rbt so i work with kids with autism currently right now but my special kid um i just love him so much um his name is christian and um he actually is graduating high school so i'm kind of transitioning from doing the aBA therapy into my own daycare um home daycare, but I also have like a clothing type of business that I'm doing, myself and Poshmark, and then also I write children's stories.

That's what I was going to say. If you don't talk about your children's books, I'm going to actually fight you when we get off the camera. My sister is a hero, to be honest with you. Yeah, I was just about to say that. She's honestly actually the best of us and we all know it and we're all totally fine with it. Like the rest of us are just kind of like floating and doing what we do. that she works with kids with autism, writes children books, and actually just started a daycare as well, too.

So I don't know. I'm like super duper freaking proud of her and just like, I don't know. I just, yeah, I feel so proud to just say, wow, this is my sister. She's a hero. You know what I mean? How do you work with kids with autism? I actually, I work one on one with them.

And I have a partner as well that works alongside me. And we work in the house, and some of the things are just getting him, you know, he has behaviors. So just getting him just on a routine, you know, personal information, you know, having him do it every day. So he remembers how to do it, basically. And then just doing tasks, taking him on walks, you know, just really getting him to go to his gen ed classes in high school. So I also follow him in high school. you know at his high school as well um but just building that relationship you know like knowing that like you care about them and even if you feel like they may not understand exactly what you're

saying he is verbal but he's prompted verbal so i have to like you know get i have to prompt him to talk um but he understands i was like i care about you you know de cares about you i just want you to know and he will look at me and just smile and be like D you know and I love him so much I love him so I have I swear to you like half my my camera like my total album is Christian of Christian yeah yeah but I will say I want to chime in here too because I think a part of what Nadia's therapy is also is working with the parents as well too and how to you know yeah discipline right or raise you know a child with autism this you know I think you just assume that they're acting out or they're not so i think it's also therapy for the parents as well to how to

actually you know manage and to to um not just cope but to help you know the child thrive so it's it's it's really amazing to see the work that she's done and how he's developed now he's grown um and just every kid that you you've ever worked with it's it's pretty amazing yeah it's yeah amazing what do you i mean what what are the goals with you know when you when you when you when you have someone like christian or when you have someone you know do you have goals for them more aspirations that you work towards, you know, to make sure their life is as good as it can be? Yeah. So in school, we have what's called IEP goals.

So it's basically a program that is written for each individual child. And so basically through the year, it could be something as simple as, you know, being able to do addition, you know. and then and then you kind of progress a little bit more doing maybe harder addition, you know, multiplication, hopefully, you know. It just, it takes time and just doing it every single day, but you have to do it every single day because a lot of times they don't, they don't memorize it, you know, they just know it because you do it with them every single day, you know. And I think what you might be asking, too, Oliver, too, is, like, ultimately, what's the goal?

Like, that he can, how can he function as an adult? You know what I mean? Is that, like, what's the goal to? That is the goal. Yeah, that is the goal. So they, basically, they graduate high school, and then they go into a transition academy until they're about 21. So they actually have to go a little bit longer.

So their high school, they walk, but they don't really get a diploma until they finish transition academy. And then, so the goal is basically to. be able to have a job, you know, to be able to work. Some of the kids probably will never be able to get to that place, but we assist them as much as possible and just get them to be as independent as we can. Yeah. I just love her.

Do you ever look at her? Do you ever look at Dee with everything that you've accomplished and your awards and be like, damn. Oh, let me tell you something. I mean, yeah, all I do is, you're an incredible performer, you do amazing shit, right? But you look at your sister, you're like, yes.

You're like, okay. I've literally said it before in interviews, too, and I'm like, and it's not that I'm nonchalant, it's amazing and it's a blessing. But the truth of the matter is all of this stuff I do because I love it, right? Because I always say I want to honor God and I want to serve people. But my real personal goal is just to be able to provide a platform in some way or whatever for my siblings, for my family, to do the things that they want to do, you know, like,

so for me, it's like, even in interviews, I think people, and I feel bad, because sometimes people will be like, why are you so nonchalant? I'm like, my sister works with kids with autism. I mean, what the, you know, what I mean? Like, what do, I have always, I think I've always looked at her as a hero like that.

But, I mean, even more now, just as an adult to see just like the path that she's chosen and how she's, what she's just made of her life and, you know, what she represents. It's like, I don't know. I am literally floored by her. all the time. So I'm not just gassing because we're in this conversation.

She knows. All the siblings know. The three of us are okay. She's like superb. Oh my goodness. That's just so amazing. And then the brothers, what are they into? Well, so how would, so I mean, I can you know, Josh is definitely

my brother Josh. Actually, my brother Josh deals with like antique furniture and all that stuff as well too, but he's just, he's creative in sort of like the scientific way. So he does like alternative energy research. Right. That's the right title. I'd be feeling so bad, you guys, because sometimes he'd be

talking to me about it and I'd be like, yes. And the mechanisms go with the duwopisms and you've got the Shubidoo. Okay, we're going to get it all together. I'd be like, that's so amazing. Yeah, I'm like, oh, I got to go. I got to go. You're terrible.

I would sit there and listen. You're awful. But, yeah, so he does that. My younger brother, Actually, my younger brother is super creative. So I'm going to say this out loud on this call. My younger brother is a songwriter, a singer, a musician, and a producer, and just, like, amazing. But I don't know. He's still younger.

So he feels like, I don't know if I'm good enough and to do it all this stuff. So I'm saying this in the interview so I can basically force it and manifest it. But I want him to produce records with me because he's so, I mean, he plays guitar, piano, drums, bass, programs. He's actually really phenomenal. You know what I mean? I think it's just the idea of doing it scares him. And did he, was he young like you? I mean, did he come up with that sort of musical gene and just, was that in him?

And by the way, for you too, where did you start as well? Is it sort of two-parter, but first of all, not like me. Yes, like me, but not like me. Like far, far, far better than me. And I'm not even just exaggerating. Like, I always tell the label, I was like, y'all fucked up. But it's too late. You signed me already.

You really should have got Jackson. You know what I mean? But, no, he taught himself like every instrument, you know, and I was started when I was young, too. I think I discovered I could sing when I was like six years old and probably around the same time for Jackson, too. And then I was introduced to Billy Holiday, actually, at a really young age when I was like 11. And so just like a slow burn kind of obsession with her and with jazz, you know, that I explored even more when I graduated really high school. But yeah, he's always just taught himself every instrument, has always just made music, has been great at music. You know, let it, led, um, remember when he led, like, praise teams at church and stuff like that, too, and just, he's always been so good. So to me, it's my goal for the next iteration of music is to just produce records with him, you know, so I, he's just like, does he not want you to put him on, meaning he's like, he wants it to do it himself or is he concerned it all about sort of, hey, you know, hook me up, help me out. Yeah, like, he's probably like, um, I mean, it's never really been explicitly like, obviously, like, I mean, it's never really been explicitly like, obviously, like, I.

don't want you to be responsible for it. But he is a hard worker. So he's like me where it's like, so I don't think that he is really like, I don't want it to be through you. I think he just, for him, he's like, I don't feel good enough. Like I don't feel, which is so crazy. Because I was like, neither am I. I don't like the sound of my own damn voice, but they still pay me for it.

You know what I'm saying? Like, just come on and do it. You know, like, but he just is, he wants to, I need more schooling and I need to learn all of these little details. And I'm like, you can do that and you can also make records at the same time. He's very good. I'm going to eventually force him into it. I'm very persuasive, so that's what it.

I can't wait to hear what he does. Yeah, no, you definitely, he's so good. Nadia knows he's so, so, so dope. Wait, can I put it to you like this? So I've built this pseudo studio in my house. I don't play piano. I have a keyboard Nord stage three. I don't play guitar.

I have a really great guitar. I don't, you know, work on these programs. I have all of this shit in my house just for the times when he comes over and visits and decides he wants to tinker around on stuff so he'll get there you know what i'm saying yeah you don't play any instruments at all no i'm terrible can you write can you write on anything can yeah i mean yeah i i can write you're right no that's a that's a good question too so i don't formally play piano but i can actually produce stuff on it just because just by ear you know what i mean so that's how i how i really do it you know stuff like that but yeah not to like you know i don't

have the the the reason you know or the theory the reason come on This is the theory. In the house, like, was there a moment when you started to sing and everyone was like, whoa, she can really sing? Or was it like you just sang and nobody really, you know, because like some people have these things where their whole family is like, whoa. Other families are like, oh, she just sings all the time and it drives me crazy, you know. That one.

Look, I'm off. That one. That one. That was like me. That was my issue growing up. I think that's why I always had so much doubt is that every time I would sing, everybody was like, oh, there she goes again. Oh, goodness.

Wait a minute. So you're actually just probably this amazing singer, and then we just weren't able to explore it. See, come on, Oliver. You've got to just be like, whoa. I had my own problems. My dad was gone. I was trying to figure my own shit out. Like, I couldn't be.

supportive. No. I don't think it was really like a wow she can sing. I think it was more like, wow, she won't shut up or like, she better be able to sing. Or like, I don't know, we just were always immersed in music. So nobody really cared, to be honestly, that much. I think, I mean, I was shocked when I came back. I lived in Monterey for a little while.

I came back. And I was like, I did not know you could seem like that. Oh, really? You had a moment. Okay. I did. And, okay. But then when he said, but then when he said,

started singing in stores as we went into the stores. I was like, okay. Because I just like to be seen. Like, I just like to go in the store shop. She likes to announce when she's there. I was called singer's Tourette's that she has. Oh my gosh. Wait, okay, listen.

She's not wrong. This is all correct. But, you know, it was just practice, Dee. You know, it was practice. No, I know. It's like, I'm just kidding. I was just fucking with her. Like, you can't.

help it like just random just sneeze and melodies come out and someone will say a word and you'll think of a song and yeah you know oh Kate Kate that's how we grew up I mean you would say something to mom or ask her some sort of a question she would turn the question into a song for her own personal enjoyment and not answer what the hell it is you were trying to get out of her and you're like finally like mom Jesus just answer the question I love for her own personal enjoyment Yeah, she's like, ah. I feel like that's the kind of mom I'm going to be. Oh, poor kids.

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Once all the kids are out of their 20s, like everybody's, like, you look at each other around like a Thanksgiving table and you're like, we're all adults now. Yeah, yeah. Like, does it feel tight or do you? Or, you know, or is it, or could it be better, honestly? Okay. Don't say anything about my communication, D. Okay, because you know that I still love you. No, I mean, in my opinion, I think we are all.

It's almost like we sit around and it's not necessarily like, I mean, I guess you have random moments where we go, we're grown up, but I still annoy the shit out of all of them the way I did when I was young. You know what I mean? And then I still, I feel like Nadia still basically takes care of everybody the way she did when we were young. You know, and Jackson and Josh, like, same thing. They just ignore me.

Jackson continues to pretend he's not exactly like me. Josh continues to talk about the inventions and the steps. So I don't know. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. Would you say that we're, I think that we're very close. You know what I'm saying? I think we're really close. We're close to your family.

Yeah, we are super, super, super close. You know what I mean? So, yeah. And that's a blessing, honestly, because I know it's not always like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. The more we interview people, the more we get people writing in about sibling relationships,

you realize that they're so complex. like people who have really tight families that work their shit out and like deal with each other's nuances and yeah and each one has their own individual relationships with each other you know like you and d might have your own thing and then and d and jackson have their own thing and it's special and separate and sometimes you know there's friction but it's all different do you guys think your there are closer relationships like are josh and jackson and you and d close Yeah. It just depends on what they all like got me. You know what I'm saying that one. I'm just kidding. I just use it as leverage. You know what I'm just kidding? No, I mean, what would you say, Dee? What do you think? Like, I feel like we're all close. I know. It's like the same. It's the same. I don't think that I have a favorite. Yeah. You know? I mean, you're, listen, I'll put it to you like this. Nadia doesn't have a favorite because she's all of our. favorites. You know what I mean? So we're all close. But like I said, we all know that like, all right, Ndia is, if we're going to save one, we should probably go with her. Right. If the house is burning and one person needs to be thrown out, the can survive. Probably. D's going to do. You're got to be out. So wait, what about you guys? Is there like a like, you know, like kind of a closer or, you know? Yeah, it ebbs and flows. You know, it's also,

You know, when you're coming from a family that has had instability, too, you know, it's just an interesting dynamic because, you know, we made jokes. I'm like, I didn't have the capacity to be their brother for Kate to love her the way that she probably should have been loved as her older brother because I was kind of dealing with my own shit. Right, of course. You know, so only sort of in our later years did she and I get closer and come together, you know? And then I'm having an amazing relationship with my younger brother now who's 10 years younger than me, but is imparting all of this like beautiful wisdom because I'm going through some shit right now just with anxiety. I was on Lexapro and I'm coming off of all. That's a whole other story.

Right, right. But he is he is actually, you know, saying some pretty amazing things to me. Right. It is funny. I'm like, my brother is a severe anxiety. He's on antidepressants. I'm like laughing over here. Wait, you know, I just realized, I was like, you're right,

when you have a sibling dynamic where you guys have maybe seen some shit and been through some shit together, like even earlier, just talking about absentee fathers, we're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, how funny is that much? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's something about, like, laughter. You know, who was that doctor or whatever? It was a while ago. I'm probably misquoting this because I can't remember of shit.

But, like, you know, he heard himself. He had, like, cancer or something like that. And then he kind of, like, literally just went into room to just laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh and supposedly healed himself. It was something like that. I mean, but just the idea that like laughter and humor, you know what I mean, really is more than coping, but it's like healing. So, no, it totally makes sense. Oh, God, for sure.

And by the way, humor is literally the sort of backbone of our family. I mean, that is our North Star. We know. So thank you and your family for that. We know. We all actually benefited from your guys' humor. So thank you. Oh, man.

So we should do some speed roundies because that usually doesn't turn into a speed round. Especially not with me. Wait, why did I? I had to do like a song association for L earlier. Like, and I just think people just assume they're like, you're going to just say something genius because you do music and you do the,

they were like, sing a song with the word together in it. I was like, next. They were like a song with, right there. I was like, a song with the word thinking it. I was like, I can't think of anything. Next one, please. No, then, no, then I came up with a reason. I got, I got, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Raphael Sadeek.

I've been thinking of you. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. From the first time I ever laid my eyes upon your face. Give me my phone. I'm recording this, I'm recording this for Ray right now. I love that. I did do think. I did Aretha's think.

I ultimately was able to find it after fucking 20 hours. Okay, let's do this. One word to describe each other. One word to describe Nadea. I don't know. I just want to say like love or perfect. But whatever. One word to describe Nadea is, can I say like solid?

It just means like a rock. You know what I mean? Like just consistent. Yeah, consistent for sure. Oh. Mm-hmm. Um. For...

Don't be polite. Don't be polite. It's fine. Uh... For Andra is... Ew. Why did you just call me Andrea? I don't know.

I got confused for a minute. Because I have to say Cassander sometimes as an Andres. Because my name is. They call me Sange. You should just call me Sange. They call me Sanzi or Sanz. Like, I was like, I've never. That shook the hell out of me.

I was like, I've never heard her. Sondi. Sondi. Sondi. Okay. Is it Sanjee? Yeah. That's what I call.

That's what I call her is Sondi. Cassandra. Yeah. Yeah, Sanzi. Is generous, very generous. Just like with her time, you know, her just, giving you know if somebody's in need

she'll just help them out move them into her house you know she's just very generous very generous person one word to describe your relationship

I would just say peace yeah I would say I mean to borrow your word solid. I mean, we are. You know, we're just solid, you know. We never fight. We just, you know, we joke around. That actually is kind of crazy. When was the last time we actually

fought? I think it was probably, you know, the last time we probably thought was when you were a teenager and I would, when you got grounded and I wouldn't stop going to your friend's house. Yeah. I was annoying. Yeah, we really don't fight. That's crazy. No, we don't fight. Yeah. Who's, uh, who's more patient? I mean, Nadia. It depends on the scenario. It depends on... No, you're right.

You're right. Because sometimes... Yeah, sometimes Nadia, her few... You know, like, even with the moving people into my house and doing this stuff, like, I feel like I have a pretty long fuse when it comes to that. Or people, like, just doing weird shit around me. You know what I mean? Yeah.

It's a lot shorter after Billy Holiday, though. I'm not going to lie. But... But, yeah, no, I would say, like... Damn, no. both of us are pretty similar, just different. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I think I'm patient. I'm, of course, with kids. I'm super patient. Yeah. But little things like losing something, I go crazy. I get mad and then I blame my husband. And I'm not married. What's your signs?

I'm a Capricorn. Capricorn. You're both Capricorns. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's January? December 30th. January 16th.

Yeah, December 30th for me. Oh, cool. What about your first concert? My first concert. Do you know, Dee, did we go to any? I don't feel like we never went to when we were younger. Literally, your concert was my first concert. Oh, yeah, true.

We didn't really have money for shit like that. The first concert I did go to, I remember specifically, was an N-Sync concert. Because I had this friend in school, and she had this birthday party, and she was obsessed with N-Sink. And so she was like, I just want all my friends to go to an N-Sync concert. So I had to pretend I knew the words the whole time I was there. I was like, fuck. Like, everybody was so into it And I was like, oh, I just hook on to the one, like,

I don't know, it's gonna be made. That's like the only line I could like remember. But also, I feel like mom was really strict. You think so? She didn't let us watch stuff. Well, she didn't let me watch stuff. Right. First of all, she's friend.

We was just broke. She was just like, concerts are bad. Oh, like, nah. We just broke. You just came up with an excuse instead of being like, can't afford it. Yeah, I guess when it was at that, that weird freaking churchy

whatever place, whatever it was. Yeah. Who was the most rebellious as a kid? You. Was it me? Do you? Yes.

Okay. I initially thought me. But you were wild as fuck at one point. Did you? Yeah, I was. I was. I remember going to the school one time, you know what I mean?

And Adia had to defend herself, you know, because we kind of grew up in the hood, whatever. So, like, you know, so she, people don't know that she's, because she has a different father, but my mother's black and white. So she's mostly white,

but she's mixed with black as well, too. You know, people don't know. So people kind of pick, you know what I'm saying? Start some shit with her, like when she was younger, Bobo or whatever. So she had to, like, really fucking fight. I remember we pulled up to the school

to pick her up in school one time. She was hell of young, smoking cigarettes. My dad caught her. Another time we pulled up to the school, she fucking slamming some girl into the bleachers. I was like, damn, she's crazy. Yeah, because, I mean, people will come up to me

and be like, well, your family's black, but do you fight, like a black girl. And so I literally got into fights in the street. Just people would come up to me. All the time. Yeah, all the time. But, you know, but I would say I think both of us, the two,

you're talking to probably the two most rebellious in the family. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, definitely. What about your first celebrity crush? I know yours. Who was mine? JTT.

Yeah. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He was Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. And then it switched so crazy. Like, it was Hella Stark. It was like JTT, you know, because everybody loved him. I was like, oh, damn, he's on the cover of all these magazines and shit.

But then it went from like JTT to like J-Rul. I was like, what's the fuck? Let's not bring that up. That's not definitely not talking about that. You had a crush on J-Rul? Yeah, I don't know. He was just like. And at the time when I was young, I was like, damn, he's so gay.

You know what I mean? I don't know. Or Tupac, too. Actually, Tupac for sure. I definitely had a gross on Tupac. Yeah, he was a sexy man. Yeah, everybody kind of crush on Tupon. What about you, D?

Oh, gosh. I'm trying to think. I would have to say L.O. Cool J. Even when I was younger. I just thought he was. You just said even when I was younger, which means he's still, he's still, he's still your criminal crush. LL was the man, except, I don't know if you remember this,

you remember, I think it was the MTV Awards or something when he had the deodorant balls, balled up in his, oh, yeah, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why would you do that to him? Just Google, just Google LL and deodorant balls. Never. I have a problem. I have a problem with textures. I will never, ever do that.

No, God, no. Even my mom, when she, mom met him, which we were at, I forget, it was like the Grammys or some shit like that. I didn't even know. Like, my mom's never mentioned nothing, da, do, whatever. My mom walks up to me after we met him. She was like, oh, my God, L.O. Cool.J. He's so handsome. I was like, what?

You've literally never said anything like this in your entire life. Like, I was like, what's hell? Yeah, she lost it on that one, too. That's funny. Oh, man. Who is the tattletale sibling? It could be one of your brothers, too. I would say Josh.

Yeah, Josh was definitely a tattletail. Yeah. Yeah, he was definitely. Oh, the one who's into the healing or the... Of course. When he was like, yeah, the right, the, the, the, the alternate, yeah, alternate, alternative energy mechanisms, flux capacity. Who's the most dramatic? I mean

I'm wittiest Oh, go ahead I think wittiest Cassandra Really? You think so? You don't think Jackson? Jackson, Jackson's definitely Jackson, I have to say, yeah

Jackson, I think definitely the wittiest. I think I am, but we know Jackson is. But the combination of Jax and Sanji together That's hilarious. Do you guys have anything from your childhood that you've kept? You know, something that's, important to you.

God, what did I keep? What did I keep from my childhood? Just pictures, I guess. Like, you know, I think it's just mainly pictures. I was, you know, it would be crazy if I still have that damn sleeping bag. I sucked my fingers and like, I think I'm also on the spectrum.

I sucked my fingers and was like, had a sleeping bag. My parents tried to throw away until I was like, I mean, shit, I was damn the authority. I'm not going to lie. It is what it is. What are you talking about?

No. And it was this finger, too. No, serious. No, serious. No, serious. I'm serious. Yeah. Well, my daughter's almost eight, and she's still, like, sucks her thumb with a little blankie.

And I'm kind of like Rio. Right. Her name's Rio. I'm like, when are we going to end this, you know? You got to get in there. You've got to get in there because she might be 26, 27, pulling her blanket out of the trash can that's the Bob Pairs put in there. What do we? Yeah, I just feel like just pictures, right, probably.

Pictures. I think I have my old, like, journals. Oh, journals. Oh, journals. Okay. Oh, I love that. Oh, my God. I just, I used to write journals like a crazy person.

I'm kind of just getting back into it, but I was reading through some of the journals. And you know what the fucked up part is? I'm 44 years old, and it seems like nothing's changed. I'm like, I've got the same, I've got the same, I've got the same issues. I'm like, Jesus Christ. And I went through New Year's Eve resolutions throughout the year. Yeah. They're the same fucking resolution.

I know. Same. Same, same. For sure. Mine was like, I feel like I was looking at old journals. And I was like, I think it was a reversion for me. I was like, oh, wow, I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty.

Then all of a sudden, I was like, how the fuck did I go backwards? Like, it's okay if I stayed in the same place. But like, how'd I go to this and then like take 10 steps backwards? I was like, oh, when did that transition happen? You know what I mean? There's something funny in this. There's something funny in the journal. Yeah.

I was getting, like, movie ideas. Yeah. Best advice you've received from either parent. Do you want to go deep, do you know? I think dad always told me to make sure that I always have a savings, you know, always save, always pay your taxes. Yeah, I think for mom, mom was a praying love. And that has really served me for sure, you know what I mean? So just like, just to remember like, you know, why you're here, to remember that you

have a purpose, you know what I mean? Yeah. And it's intentional. And then my father would always say to me, if you don't have anything going, you don't have anything coming, you know what I mean? So that kind of always definitely stuck out to me. Oh, those are so good. I know.

I'm curious about your guys is actually, I'm curious about that one. What's like, what's the best advice I think you guys received? Well, for Kurt, my 24th birthday, and I still try to figure this one out. And it's very simple. I was trying to be an actor and, you know, trying to make it happen, but not working that hard. You know, I was just in a moment. And he goes, you have to stop giving a fuck what people think about you. You can't, you give too much of a shit about how people perceive you.

And the minute that you can truly let that go, you will be free, you know? and I believe that and I still to this day you know I try to I try to live by that it's not easy for me personally but you know it's it's really a good piece of advice advice because it just it just frees you up yeah you're not concerned you know that's good that's really good yeah I'm trying to think about it's good mom you know mine was actually for having kids mom mom said something to me I was getting really sad right before before I was about to give birth with Ryder. My first one, I was really young. I was like 23, 24. And I was getting really, like, I was sitting in front of the mirror and I was looking, I was so huge. I gained 70 pounds.

And I was like, I was just sad. And, and mom said, you know, she goes, you have every right to be sad. She goes, you, you're, you know, this is the only time your son. or your child will ever really belong to you. And then I was like, it like kind of clicked. And then I was like, oh, my God. She goes, you know, the second your kids come out, they just don't belong to you anymore.

They're like, oh, wow. Spirits and entities. And it's your job as a parent to just help guide them. Help guide them. It's so sad. Meanwhile, you're like, why did you say that? Oh, Jesus Christ. It's horrible.

Oh, honey, stay sad. Stay sad. I'm like, oh, all right. The last question is, it's a two-part question. The first part is, what is it about your sister that you would love to emulate a quality or a characteristic that you wish you had more of in your own, you know, personality that you'd love to emulate? The other part is if there was one thing you could take from your own personality, you know, you know, you'd love to emulate. The other part is if there was one thing you could take from your, take a way to relieve your sister of that you think would sort of better their lives or give them more ease, what would that be? Um, do you want to go first, do you?

No, I'm going to let you go first on this one. Um, I think if there is, if there was something I can emulate, you know, obviously, as I said with the service, but just a quality. that streams through all of that, I think is follow through. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's a really huge... I feel like Nadia and I are similar in the sense that of, like,

coming up with ideas and being able to, like, kind of be innovative and do all these things. But as far as follow through when execution goes, it's just more of a struggle for me. You know what I mean?

She will, like, come with an amazing idea and do... And she's actually kind of a freak because I feel like there are two different brains of people that do execution and follow through

and then other types of people that kind of come up with ideation and do all that stuff. I don't know the fuck she was on when she was young, but she just like idea, you know, innovation, idea, implement, right, execute, follow through, like all of that stuff. So I feel like that's a part of her because she's just such a hustler to me. Like she's always grinding.

She's always coming up with ideas and she's doing them. You know what I mean? As opposed to just coming up with ideas. So I think that's something with her for sure, other than her heart that I would like to emulate. And what I'd like to alleviate is, is just the pressure to feel like she has to do that. You know what I'm saying?

If she has to do that to survive or has to do this or whatever, I have to do this for everybody and do all these things. So it's the thing that, it's interesting, the thing that I admire most about her is also the thing I don't want her to feel like she's required to do. You know what I want her to do it because she, you know, just whatever. She loves it and she, you know what I mean? So I don't, the pressure of that I would like to alleviate, I think. let's see um i think the thing for you i would want to emulate is uh she's just like she's so driven

you know and she's just like with all her projects and um i wish i mean i feel like we are similar in that way you know um but she just has this work ethic that's like crazy and amazing you know everything she touches is like turns into gold you know um just like singing acting but singing acting all of that you know she's just a natural at and i feel like for myself i have to like i have to really really really work hard to get to that place you know so i guess in that way you know i wish i had that you know and then elie alleviate, definitely her sleeplessness. I knew you were going to say that.

Oh, my God. She doesn't sleep enough. And, you know, I just, I would definitely take that insomnia away from her. So she could. We were just talking about getting a sleep expert on. Yeah. I want to get someone on to talk about that because, you know, it's such an important part of of like repairing everything, like our body that needs sleep, you know?

Yeah. What do you think that is? I mean, first of all, I think society at large is anxious, right? I think we all actually deal with anxiety. I think we talk about it with specific people, but I just think sort of the culture and the busyness and the noise and the, you know what I mean? There's obviously internal mechanisms as well, too, but I think that it lends itself to anxiety, you know what I mean, and to stress and to, you know, so I think it's, I don't know,

especially because we work in a society that really, really, you operate within a society that really values, like, if you're always busy, you're always like this idea that we have to always be busy, we have to always be working, you know, which is crazy because we just talked about how much we admire that in each other. But I think that, you know, sometimes there's this feeling of like things left undone or things that are not finished or things left unsaid or things that are, you know, like it's, you know, I think it's a little bit. I think it's, I think it's internal, but I think there's external influences, right, that kind of cause that as well, too. I mean, there's, there's obviously chemical stuff in the brain, too, that cause other people

to lose sleep. And some people just function more or less sleep. But yeah, I think there's just a lot of, of just so much all the time. You know what I mean? There's no other way I can really put it. I think that it's hard to shut off your brain. Totally hard. Oh, my God. And then actually, and then sometimes it just doesn't, you know? Like, I feel like sometimes I have this sound machine. Do you guys have like one of those like sound machines like a little?

Because I don't know if you ever experienced this, but it's like trying to, because I had the sleep therapist one time. I was like, okay, you need to be in the room asleep, you know, be in your room with all the lights off and no sound at all. And the next day I was like, bro, I'll never do that again because the shit inside my head is. It's so loud. Like, the shit in here is just like so, so, so fucking loud. So I just think, yeah, I think it's... Do you meditate? I do.

I do, like, I do prayer and devotion in the morning. So I, like, you know, I wake up, I pray. You know, I read the word. I meditate on what it is that I read and what it is that I'm, you know, to do that day or, you know, where I'm supposed to be, whatever. And so that does help me. And I do notice a huge, huge difference when I'm like, like, this year has been so busy so like I was looking like my devotion journal and I'm like damn before you used to be crazy

if like a day would go by because I loved I need you know in order to function and a week goes by two weeks go by and I'm like why am I just cussing everybody out for no reason and going crazy not always for no reason sometimes I have a very good reason just to apply but um yeah so I think that does help me for sure you know yeah and and weed I mean you know like a edible I mean you know You know, it's so funny, I don't, and I will tell you for the first time this year, and I've done it a couple times, and I've actually, like, taken an edible a couple of times. And for the first, like, few times that I did it was the only thing that could actually, like, help me knock out. But then it was like, I would take it, and now I'm like, oh, shit, I can't sleep.

And now I'm up. And when you stay awake through that shit, for me, I was like, oh, the way I feel at night. I was like, whoever lives in the house with me is like, fuck. So I guess the sleep therapist was saying like anything, like with melatonin, you can build a resistance to it or cause your brain to stop producing. So I was like, oh, my God. So there's some practices that I can do that were working for me. But I stopped them because my work schedule works at night, you know, when I'm working on music. So I'll pick them up back again once all this, you know, stuff is kind of done.

But yeah. It's also interesting. Like I find that when I'm not drinking, like I'm working out hard and I'm eating. I find that when I'm really training and eating and not drinking, that I sleep better. Like my sleep is true. Yeah, it's true. Of course she would come through damn fabletics. You had to remind me to get in the goddamn gym.

She's like talking. I'm like, so healthy practices, huh? Okay. All right. Let me look into that. Oh, you guys. This has been so great. I'm so happy we finally got to meet.

Thank you. Yes. Lightwise. Oh, my God, I enjoyed this. We should just do this again just on, like, off-camera on since you pay shit. Because you guys are cool as fuck. Yeah, seriously. We will. Amen.

Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Allison Bresden. Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love, rate the show and leave us a review. This show is powered by Simplecast. Do you want to hear the secrets of psychopaths, murderers, sex offenders? In this episode, I offer tips from them.

I'm Dr. Leslie, forensic psychologist. This is a podcast where I cut through the noise with real talk. When you were described to me as a forensic psychologist, I was like snooze. We ended up talking for hours, and I was like, this girl is my best friend. Let's talk about safety and strategies to protect yourself and your loved ones. Listen to Intentionally Disturbing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you.

Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network, tune in on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast, The Curse of America's Next Top Model. I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show. I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia issues, by talking to the models, the producers,

and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls, and they got rich. If you were so rooting for her and saw her drought, Tony, what do you help her? Listen to the curse of America's next top model on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.