Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Comedy with Carlos Mencia

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

Carlos Mencia's career in comedy wasn't all laughs. He opens up to Oliver about pushing past the naysayers who advised him to call it quits as a young standup. Find out how therapy impacted his material AND parental instincts. Plus, how he navigates telling his truth on stage without triggering audiences.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. With the co-host feature, you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss.

Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Honey German, and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Graziez, come again. We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in like over 25 years. Oh, wow.

That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending, with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And of course, the great bevas you've come to expect. Listen to the new season of Dresses Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling reverie. No, no.

Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling reverie. That's good. So I just finished a meditation. I've been meditating on and off. I don't know, since I was 19, mainly off. But when it's on, it's on.

You know, I've had experiences with meditation where I have been consistent. And you really are able to drop into a pretty special place of clarity and of nothingness. I felt it. But that's the reason why it's called a practice, because if you don't fucking practice, you know, you can't get there. I know how good it can be and how good it can feel. So I'm trying to stay consistent with it. Meditation kind of saved me, you know, when I was having my anxiety, 20s and in my 30s and 40s and I basically have anxiety every decade, it fucking seems.

But, you know, when you're able to sort of drop into this space and let everything go, it definitely can bring you out of a lot of situations. but it needs to be in my opinion practiced on a daily basis because what I do in my whole life if I feel like I'm not looking good and my body's out of shape I'll work out hard for six weeks and be like yeah that's pretty good and quit if I am feeling shitty or I'm feeling anxious and I'm going through a spell I'll meditate and get better I'm like okay done you know, I'm a quick fix-it guy. So I'm trying to maintain a consistency here. And I'm trying transcendental meditation only because Howard Stern does it. Because Howard Stern is like my idol.

I just love him so much. And I know that he does TM. So I want to try TM. And I just did it. And now I'm here. So I'm not sure this podcast is going to be any different or better. I'm not sure if I'm in a better state of mind now or not. I don't even know. But I know that just sitting quiet for 20 minutes is probably a good thing, no matter what. Anyway, we got a cool guest on today. I got a cool guest on. Carlos Menzia, been around for a billion years. The guy is unstoppable. He's got a new residency at Harris in Vegas. He's funny as shit. He's been through it all. I'm excited to talk to him. Amazing upbringing. I think he's had a He has 17 siblings came from Honduras.

Very interested, very interested as I am with every goddamn guest that we bring in. Okay, I'm not going to bring in someone who I'm not interested in talking to. Or we just need to fill space. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm fucking here. I'm just doing my thing. I'll talk to anyone. Anyone are incredible producers to bring our way.

I don't even care who it is. I'll just fucking go. But we're lucky enough to have car. Let's hear right now. Bring them in. What's up, brother? How are you? You know what, man, I'm good.

Just exhausted, but good. Good exhaustion. Yeah, because you're working. You know what? I don't realize how much time I put into the work. Yeah. I mean, the work is like, you know, I love what I do. You don't work a day in your life when you do what you love, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. But, you know, when my gardener comes up to me and says, man you need to slow down I literally go well here's the guy that I'll call him on a Sunday and go hey I did a pop-up show would you like free ticket and he's like I can I'm working today this guy is the one telling me

you know I looked at your schedule so yeah I sometimes get caught up in in how fun it is to entertain and to make other people happy and laugh And, you know, in that laughter infused those ideas, you know, of, hey, look at the world from a different perspective. Yeah. But does it, but does it take its toll, though, you know, where eventually you're like, shit, man, I got to, I got to sit down for a second. Yes.

Well, it doesn't because, because during the day, I, you know, my job entails, you know, an hour, an hour and a half a night, depending on the show. so let's just say it's two to three hours maybe four maybe five at the most the rest of the time I can do with what I want and as long as I don't you know party too hard or indulge in that stuff after shows that make the day the next day right it's the next day no sure so you go to sleep you know you're asleep at 1 o'clock 2 o'clock in the morning hey you're fine you wake up at 10 or 11 yes go to sleep at 6 to 8 o'clock in the morning after a night you're waking up to literally do a show and that's when it gets bad because now you have no memories no life no existence you're just literally hanging out with people making them laugh then trying to maintain that up

by doing drugs yeah keep you up yeah and then the next day it's like boom all over again and you're tired exhausted you have no memories you didn't go anywhere you didn't do anything yeah and then and then you're chasing you're chasing the hangover you're chasing the night you know i i've dealt with that too where it's like oh man this is bad i have to have a cocktail or i have to have something to write the ship and then it's just this consistent chasing the tail type shit well yeah because at night right you want to you want to maintain that so you get a little drunk and then somebody offers you whatever it is yeah that keeps you a little high yeah but then you got to take something to go to sleep right all so now you're doing it downer

to go down to sleep yeah and then all of a sudden you wake up and you're like i'm groggy I got to do a little something to wake me up. And that cycle just continues and continues. So as long as you don't get on that train. Yeah. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season.

It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character,

and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything

from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Shea Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me.

I think the last time I talked to Tom. It was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for

kind of spheres, you carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Teller Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating in the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Is that something that you've dealt with in your career, like early on, where, you know, you had to sort of use substance to maintain your, your sort of drive?

you're not not ambition but just to keep up and keep going no I got you no I was never I was never that person I'm you know when you grew up in the projects the way I did you see the positive and the negative

of the drug system right the abuse on one side and all the lives that it ruins but you also see the guy that you know whose parents were poor and broke and all of a sudden two years later they moved out of projects and they had a nice house somewhere

you know in a middle class upper middle class neighborhood um so you see that but then you also see that those guys never reach the age of 30 without getting shot killed or in jail so you see the whole gamut of it and i just never i'm a math guy so i never saw the the reason for those kinds of things. I never saw the reason to get drunk. I was never afraid to talk to a girl. I never, I was never the guy that was like, oh, I'm going on stage. Oh, my God, I'm feeling, I'm feeling weird. Let me, let me take a shot here or let me, you know what I mean, do that. That was never, that was never, never a part of my cycle of life. My cycle was always be in the moment, be in the now, see what the world is giving to you, change the world, make the world

the better place. Doesn't matter why you're here. Make the world the better place. And that will be your reasoning, like all this kind of stuff. You know, reading those kinds of books, the Eckhart Tollies of the world.

You know what I mean? The singers of the world. Those, you know, trying to find that. So that wasn't the thing that got me. The thing that got me and still gets me is since I don't do all that stuff, eating in the middle of the night after shows,

because I can't eat before shows. So if I have a two, to three show night three show night right show starts at six that means i can't eat anything after about 4 30 and if i do it's a really light salad or something like that can't eat between shows too heavy so now of a sudden it's two o'clock in the morning and i haven't eaten since five and i'm fucking hungry bro like hungry and you know a mix salad or it's whatever that that does not sound appetizing when you're a little drunk and at that hour and night that's when I'm like fighting it you know what I mean the last I think the last time we did that and it was kind of an

intervention moment for me me and my friend just two of us were at the drive-thru of a water burger we ordered and the lady goes that's going to be 78 dollars and I said bro we got to stop dude this is too people this is two people this is two people It was just so much food, man. And I just, and I said to myself, we got, we got to figure this out. So I'm trying to find a balance with that. No, I know. I get that.

But these are the problems that it's hard to talk about with regular people that have regular jobs who really work hard. And, you know, this is why sometimes I just hold my tongue because in my head, I can hear my gardener going, oh, it must be hard. it must be hard for you. You have to eat in the middle of that night. So you have $78 to just throw away on food. And 4 o'clock in the morning, I can't hear that boy is telling me like, shut your pie hole.

I totally get that. But, and I've talked about this on our podcast, you know, my sister's not here. We talk about it all the time. Right. You know, where sometimes if you are a privileged, fortunate person, you know, or who has made it, in one way or another, we are afraid to talk about our feelings and our struggles and our issues and our problems because of exactly what you're talking about, the fear of sort of the judgment, you know, saying, oh, well, you think you have it bad, but it's all relative. We all have our issues.

You know what I mean? No one knows about my shit. No one knows that my dad left when I was where I mean, a lot of people do now, but I have my own fucking shit. And if I can't express myself, you know, publicly or if I're on a podcast, and I'm not. not being authentic, then I'm not having fun, honestly, doing what I'm doing with this anyway. So I just say it, you know, and it's, it is what it is. We all have our issues no matter what, you know, social class that we come from. Yeah, you can feel, you know, you're a privileged person to be where we are, but it doesn't mean we can't have our own, our shit. Oh, no. The fact that we feel that is awesome. The problem is, um, that unless you go deeper, right, unless,

you go to a real deep place like you just did about your dad or moments like that. The problem is we don't get empathy. Exactly. Or we don't get empathy or we get hatred, right? You get one or the other. You get like, really, who cares? Or fuck you, let me tell you, right? Yeah.

So that's our fear. So that's why for me personally, what's been a godsend is therapy. Yeah. And, you know, I've been doing it since 2008, you know, and it was funny because it was just not, but a month ago, you know, I was talking to my therapist about similar situation like this. And I was like, man, sometimes I feel like I don't have anybody to reveal those truths to because it is important to tell those truths. And thank God that you have this avenue and, you know, I have that avenue. But he said, you know, well, thank God you have me because you can tell me everything. and anything, and at least that, you know, feels a certain void.

And I was like, yeah, I thank God I have him. And, you know, he's become, you know, a friend of sorts, you know. And I know that he's a therapist and there's a transactional thing that occurs there where I pay him. And but you know what? I pay people to see me perform and, you know, I would do it for free as I've done it for free before. So that doesn't change that dynamic.

But you're right. It's needed. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable,

somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready.

Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent.

This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for a hundred of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence.

That's Sierra Teller Ornelis, who with Rutherford Falls, became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world,

influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your book, podcasts did you find a therapy when you got into therapy did you feel like that changed your comedy you know because you are now dealing with a deeper part of yourself and you know pain is funny there's no doubt about it i'm so self-deprecating which is probably detrimental to my success because i

fucking put myself down all the time in the vein of humor you know what i mean right a little too much yeah well there definitely is it's it's a way to sort of deal with insecurities there's no doubt but do you feel like once you got into therapy and really were into it it changed your perspective and the way you performed or your jokes hugely so and one of the biggest reasons that that happened was, you know, I had seen and been interested in, you know, psychology for a very long time and philosophy. So I remember that when I would ever see TV shows or movies that had, you know, therapists in it, it was always like, let's get to the root of the problem.

Let's figure out why you feel this way. And I thought that that was so important. And it might be to others. But I remember something occurred really early on in our therapy sessions. where I said, maybe we need to find out why I behave this way or why I'm doing this specific behavior. And my therapist said, we could do that if you want or we could just work on changing it. It's up to you.

We can go and try to figure out why this happens or you can just say, I don't want to be that way anymore and begin to change. It's up to you. And I said, oh, shit, I thought we had to like find out. Like, I had to go to a moment of like, oh, my God, it was when my mother was hitting my brother and I was in the closet, scared. And that's why I fucking hate women's shoes because I was trapped in the closet with the shoes. No, and it changed me so much because it made me realize that. And it changed my comedy, because my comedy up until that point, my setups were a little more contrived because sometimes, you know, I was going to say stuff that people were going to be affected by.

So I tried really hard to kind of get to the root of a problem, so to speak. And what it made me change was like, no, these are jokes. And if you don't understand that, that's on you, not on me. I don't have to change. I don't have to give you a diatribe of my life and your life in order for us to do a joke about how my mom beat my husband when I was a kid. We're just going to do the joke and get to it quicker. So, yeah, it changed. It changed me vastly.

It also made me a bit more sensitive to other people's pain. The fact that I'm going to say things on stage that are going to trigger negative feelings, not on purpose, but I talk about how I was sexually abused as a kid on stage, right? No matter how funny that joke is, no matter how good I perform it, no matter what my perspective is, there's going to be somebody that is laughing their ass off and is immediately going to be taken like a movie where you pass. on their face, it freezes, and then there's a real time work, and then all of a sudden they're in their trauma, right? I know that I'm going to do that. Yeah. So now that I'm aware of that, you know, I try to say little things, you know, put a sentence in

there that says like, hey, this is how I deal with this trauma. This is what I do. This is what everybody does, but this is how I deal with it. Or I'll say, hey, my friends said, how do you do this? or a woman said to me, you know, and infuse their feelings or what I think they might be feeling into it, that, that has changed before my idea was, hey, dude, it's a fucking joke, seriously. Like, if you can't understand that, why are you mad at me? Right.

And I do feel that way to a point. Yeah, like you know who I am. You've come to see me. You know my humor. So don't be offended by what I say. Right. But there's still, you know, there's still something. out there that's like, hey, a priest

diddled me. And I feel I've never, I haven't resolved those resolutions yet. So my whole thing is to do the joke and have them feeling like, okay, that was funny. And maybe I can talk to him about this. Or maybe I can deal with it the way

he dealt with it or whatever that is. But as long as they don't stay in there because of me, I'm okay. I'm okay with that. But that, but, you know, having empathy, seeing other people's you know, affect on me, seeing my effect on other people, all that kind of stuff. Therapy.

That's, it's interesting because you're almost, you're taking on the burden of potentially thousands of people because in your set, you have, you don't know who you're offending. So it's kind of a hard one. Maybe with something specific like sexual abuse that you went through, you know that there's probably a few people in there who have dealt with that. But within your set, all the other sort of jokes you might be telling that, I mean, it's hard. I mean, it's not on you to take on everyone's issues, you know, and have to amend for them to make sure that they feel okay.

You're right. But the one good thing about therapy for me is that, you know, it has taught me that, you know, I do my part so that I can be okay with me, right? I do my part so that I can live with myself. But you're right. It is not my responsibility, you know, to take on the burden of everybody's pain, everybody's past everybody's tortures you know i'm not triggering anybody i am telling my truth my side of the story so to speak comedically on stage and i do my best to be protective so to speak

yeah but at a certain point it is it is a comedy show yeah and it's not a podcast like this where i'm not bound by having to be funny and having to tell a joke and having to entertain where i can be open about something like this so yeah that's a different venue and you know i do my best but i don't take on that responsibility everybody's responsibility for happiness is on them yeah is on each and every one of us and that's it and that's hard for us to believe when you create a cancel culture where when a person that disagrees with you is shut up when a person that doesn't feel the way you do is shut up and you basically try to create a world for these people that is perfectly sane and perfectly benign, you're ignoring the feelings of the other people as well.

What about those are the people that you've changed? And so for me, we've been giving, you know, you hurt my feelings is one of them. I can't hurt your feelings. I don't have the power to hurt your feelings. Right. I only have the power to say something and you allowed your feelings to be hurt. Right. Right. You allowed that to happen. That wasn't me. I didn't do anything. I wasn't a part of your life when whatever trauma occurred, that wasn't I. I was not there. And I think that a lot of us have been advocating that in today's world. Oh, you're right. You know, the advent of anxiety. The pendulum swings, you know, so far. You're right. You're right. And then it eventually sort of finds someone to the middle. I mean, I think that's shifting. I think a lot of comedians now are

moving back to where it's like, all right, well, we can say what we want to say now again, you know. Well, don't get me wrong. I think that what occurred was needed. Yeah, that's what I said. Like, there's a lot of great things that came from it. It was needed. And it was needed in comedy specifically because we got lazy, right? I got it.

We started being edgy for edgy sake. Yeah. Right? Today, the jokes are literally how edgy, how sexy or, you know, blatantly, you know, can I be insane this one thing, right? You watch the most recent roast of Brady. Most of those comedians didn't even know, didn't even know the guy. Right.

Right. They like literally met the guy probably that day or a little before or whatever. And they're saying all this crazy shit about him and whatever and about all these people. It got to a point where it was just edgy for edgy sake. And I believe that there was a reckoning that had to go because. Just because you call yourself a comedian and you're up on a stage, you still have to make what you say resemble a joke or else you're making statements. And once we make statements, we can get into the trouble of this.

That's the first thing that needed reckoning. The second one was we started apologizing when guys and girls in standoff started to say, I'm sorry. what that did was it made the joke real now it made the joke an actual statement I've never apologized for a joke

never will I'm sorry if it offence people and you know that because we talked about this just a few minutes ago totally do not want to hurt anybody's feelings but I know how

to create this stuff and do it so that it does resemble a joke and I'm not going to apologize for telling the joke because now you're saying that my intent needs an apology and my intent does not need an apology my intent was to entertain you and make you laugh so we didn't need this reckoning

my fear is what you just talked about the pendulum I think that what's going to happen is we're going to get an influx within the next you know a few months or years of comedians just going real fucked up at cheap like imagine

and they're already existing comedians that wish to behave you know like let me draw an analogy like a Trump comedian that wants to go up there and not give a shit and all you need is about 2% of America

that love you yeah and you will be a millionaire literally 1% will give you 3 to 3 and a half million followers. So 1% we'll have you selling out comedy

clubs and making about $800,000 to $1 million a year. Just 1%. You drop to two. Now we're getting exponential. So, you know, that comedian can exist today, bro. like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling

of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Jude Ice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share

my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going

electric, that this is something we've been doing for hundreds of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls, became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive

while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. So, wait, you have 17 siblings? Yeah, I have 11 sisters and six brothers. It's fucking crazy. So you grew up, did everyone grow up in Honduras?

Most of about eight, no, six of them. Wait, let me see. Yeah, six of them mostly in Honduras. I was the last one born there. You were. And then how long? were you there before you came to the States? I came here when I was like seven months old,

but I lived there for periods of time. So I came here when I was a kid, but then when I was eight, I went to school there. Then when I was 10, I went to school there. Then when I was 12, I went to school there. So I kind of kept, yeah, coming in and out. I lived in Mexico for a while in Honduras for a while. But what that taught me was,

and it made me a much better entertainer, specifically a comedian. And I think one of the big things, missing today in America, from a sociological standpoint, is having a decent-sized family. When you have, you know, two, three, four, you know, three to four siblings or more, you begin to realize that you don't like your sibling sometimes, but you love them. And there's a big difference, huge difference. You also have to deal with people that don't like what you like.

sometimes you have to eat whatever everybody else is eating you know what I mean when you have one kid you know I have two kids and I get into that I was like dad I don't like this and you know and it's like what am I supposed to do my mom would have been like eat it or whatever yeah but we were poor and we didn't have a lot of food you were in East L.A right you grew up in East L.A. so I grew up in the projects in the projects in East L.A. so you know when my mom made food that was the food that was it we didn't have a pantry the fuck is a pantry how did she how did your parents support 18 kids or whatever like how do you feed 18 kids how does that work first of all it's not the way the number is not the way you think so at any given point there's maybe six siblings in the house right

because other ones are older the other ones are gone and it wasn't having come yet right so there's about six everybody over 16 is contributing to the family in some way shape or form right a job of some sort, a weekend gig of some kind, cutting grass, you know, doing work for others. Like, so it was never, um, it was not my money going to a pot, that money goes into a pot, essentially. So my first paycheck, I'll never forget it, man. It was a $98 and $38 and $38. And I came home so happy, I was 15 years old, and I showed my dad.

And he told me to sign it, kept it, and gave me 20 bucks. And he said, the family says, thank you. And I was like, what the fuck just happened? I had 90 bucks and I got $20. Like, how did this occur? But being around those people, what it made me realize is like, I can hang around anybody. You know what I mean?

I can tolerate anybody. I can find the connection with anybody. It doesn't matter what you are. You name the type of person and I can tell you how many exist in my family. And my family were honest and real. And I found that out. I mean, I knew that. But here's a really great story to show you like who my family are and my belief in the acceptance of truth.

Right. That's another thing that you realize when you're a kid because we have really smart people in our family and not so smart people in our family. and I remember when my father at one point was kind of telling us what he expected of us and the difference to me and one of my brothers was if I get a B I'm going to get my ass beat and if he doesn't get a fail he's going to get rewarded and I remember going wait what the fuck just hold on hold on if I get a B I'm going to get my ass beat but as long as he doesn't fail and he gets all these you're gonna you're gonna and my father my father like in front of everybody just look at me and he said yeah because for him it's hard to not fail

for you it's easy to get a so if you don't get all a's i know you're fucking around or doing something stupid i'm gonna kick your ass that's smart that's fucking smart parenting dude like Could you imagine that today? Yeah, but you're parenting the individual child. I have three kids. I do it the same. My middle kid just naturally is good at school. My older one, he struggles a little bit.

So I have more expectations for my middle one than I do from my older one. But it's all about effort. For me, it's effort. Grades don't mean anything, the letter. If I see that you're working your ass off and you studied for fucking three days on this math test, And I know you did and you get a D. I'm like, all right, you're good. Right.

You're good. Maybe you're just not good at math. But if you apply that effort into your life and have that work ethic and you carry that shit on to when you're in your 20s and you're applying that to what you love to do, you're going to be successful, you know. But that's because, and I do jokes about this, I go, look, people that have, I kind of, it's somewhere between three and four, but I say four, four kids or more end up being really great parents because you love your kids, but not too much. you protect them, but not too much. Nothing is overkill, right? Once you have four kids, you don't have the time to hover. You don't have the time to stay there and watch.

I do this thing. It's pretty, it's really cool. It just takes a lot of time, so I don't do it all the time. But I say, raise your head if you have two kids and people raise your hands. And then I ask them, which one of your two kids is the smartest kid? And normally they tend to say, it's not that one is, smarter than the other. They're just different. And then I'll say, raise your hand if you have four kids or kids or more. And whoever has the most kids raises your hands, I ask them, are you easily

offended? Are you like, shy in any way? And they're like, no. I say, right, come to the stage. And I won't put them on the stage. Normally, I'll put them like right before the stage, turn them around so that everybody could see their face. And then I go, this is the difference to parents that have one or two kids who idealize their children and look at them differently and people that have more than four kids and I say look forward don't look at me and I tell everybody look at this person's face and I tell them don't answer the question don't answer the question don't open your mouth just exist in time and I say of your whatever many kids which one of them is the fucking idiot. And at that

moment, everybody just dies laughing because you could see the person every time just go like you could see it. Dude, you could see it in their places. And about, I would say about 90% of the time,

I'll say, what's the name? And they'll say the name. About 10% of the time, they're like, I can't. I can't do it. I can't say the name I laugh. I know you're recording this and I can't do it. But about 90% percent of the time, bro, they say it. And here's the thing that our children are suffering from. The anxiety that they have, in my opinion, a lot of them is because of expectations

that should not be placed upon them. You know, my dumb brother is one of the happiest people I know in real life. Yeah. But he also knows his limitations. He also doesn't try to go overboard with it. He doesn't expect things from himself that he should not expect from himself. And therefore, his anxiety levels are pretty normal. You know, I have a friend that's been working at McDonald's since we were 16, bro, 16. And I was born in 1967, I'm 56, going to be 57. We're the same age.

Never accepted a position where he had to actually be the manager and run the whole place. ever and he's happiest dude makes good money not the richest guy in the world you know has a little humble little place but he knows his limitations and he's happy and i think that that right there is missing you know because we live in this world where it's like anybody can be anything bullshit that is bullshit it's not true no not anybody can be a great actor not anybody can be a great director. Not anybody can be a great podcaster. This bullshit. Some of us have gifts that if we nurture, whatever those gifts are, we can be great at that. But this whole thing is being placed on these kids, in my opinion, and that's where their anxiety is coming from. And I mean, can you imagine?

I was like, we had anxiety already. We had some of that. But could you imagine if it was like, could you imagine the anxiety you would be placing upon that kid right now, the one that you know, yeah has a little hard over time could you imagine if you treated both the same yeah or you pretended that there was nothing wrong with them or that he didn't have any issues with math and you were just a dad going well everybody else

gets it what the fuck is your problem yeah could you imagine the shit that that kid would be born into it I think that on a very subliminal level we've done that to our kids and we did we've done a disservice bro we've got to come back so much so I can't

I couldn't agree with you more and that's I do not raise my kids like that at all. You know what I mean? Like it is not about, there is no pressure. Now, you know, with my oldest, right? So he's a junior and he wants to go to college and, you know, he wants to go to NYU and he wants to go to get into Tish and all that stuff. And I said, hey, why his name is Wilder?

I said, Wilder, look, I'm down with your grades right now. As long as you're happy, you've got your amazing boyfriend, you're an incredible human being. You're empathetic. you've got it all. I love your grades. But if you want to go to NYU, then I'm going to push you a little bit because you're going to have to do a little bit better than that. Now, if you're like, no, I'm cool. You know what I mean? I'm, I'm good with wherever I end up. Then, hey, I'm going to lay off you. But I'm, as your dad, I'm going to try to push you to a little bit of a place, you know, so you can achieve what you might want to achieve, you know. But in no way am I, do I harp on my kids about your grades or anything like that, you know? And is it hard for you? Because it's not that hard for me. I thought it would be harder to allow your kids to fall and falter in life, knowing it's not that hard for me. Because my dad did that to me and it taught me the lessons.

And I see the other side of it. But one of them is kind of, one of them is getting me. One of them is because I told my kid, When he was, you know, my oldest, he's 17, he's going into his last year of high school. And I, you know, been harping into him like, hey, man, if you want to get into those elite colleges, bro, you're going to have to get, like, up one beat is going to make a difference. Dude, yeah. And, you know, he didn't find himself until, you know, he was a junior. And he discovered robotics.

And anyway, he discovered that. and I saw that sparkle in his eye and as a dad, I was like, oh, God, you have it in you. You are. I saw myself in him, that little part that went, oh, I want to build a best robot. Oh, dad, I messed up, but I know how to fix it and all this greatness. But now he's like, I want to go to this school and that's cool. And I'm like, can you? And he's like, right.

He's like, I want to go to MIT. Yeah. Yeah. And now I'm like, fuck, should I have made him? Like, I mean, I know I pushed them. but I also let him make this mistake so that he could learn what he's learning right now is it worth it like should I have

and it's it's it's it's fucking with me bro I know it is dude I know well it is what it is you know here's the other thing too in my opinion you don't have to go to the greatest college to be an incredible robotics you don't have to do that nowadays no I mean so as long as he is in the place that he wants to be

and that's it. He can study and work and do everything that he needs to do and his talent will take him through, you know? I mean, that's the way it goes. My kids all want to be in the entertainment industry. Their grandparents do it, their aunts do it, their uncles do it. They all want to do it. You know, so I'm like, well, go have fun in college.

Go have the college experience. If you know what you're going to do, you're going to work hard at that. You're going to come back to L.A. You're going to get an agent. You're going to do whatever the hell it is you're going to do. Your foot is in the door. Nepotivism is a fucking live and real. It's a real thing.

It's the way it is. And you're going to have to work your ass off. But you're going to, you know, you know what you're going to do. Anybody that looks down upon nepotism or says that it's wrong or whatever it is, let's be honest. Yeah. Those people don't have anybody in their family that is in a place of success that can help them achieve a goal a little easier than normal. That's just life. I mean, it just is, you know what I mean?

But the problem with the problem with the problem is the problem with the problem. nepotism argument is when you hear the word, your mind automatically goes to entertainment, rich people, actors. But that's bullshit. Nepotism is on the full spectrum. It's from accountants to steal workers to every job in the world. There's nepotism. You know what I mean? It's just hard when my nepotism was a place called California protein products. They took the guts and the beaks and all the food that got all the stuff that couldn't be created into food from Zaki Farms, all the chickens that they killed. And so three of my cousins, three of my uncles, two of my brothers, all worked at this

one place, right? If I wanted a life working there, I had an in. It was done. I could have done it, right? That was my nepotism. So I had it in my family. that it's just that it wasn't, you know, to a badass job where, you know, you can make millions of dollars. That's not what my nepotism was.

My nepotism was you're going to make a decent living and you're going to come home smelling like shit every night. So if that's good, if that's for you, we got your back. Like, that's what I had. Did you ever dip your toes into that world or? No, are you kidding me, dude? No, you, it wasn't even like a thought. No. Dude, my dad nibed that shit in the ass when I was eight years old.

Right. They come and they tell me, hey, your father's here to pick you up from school. I walk outside. He's a truck driver for this. So he hauled all the shit basically back and forth. Yeah. So I got in his truck and he took me to where he picks up all the fecal matter and the guts and the whatever. Yeah.

And he goes, so what do you think? I was like, I think I never want to fucking do it. this in my life. That was it, brother. I think he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. He took me there to scare the shit out of me and to lead me to go, I will never do that. And I will do whatever it takes to never have to do that. Yeah. So actually on that line, growing up in the projects, like, were you able to stay out of trouble? I mean, was that something you was hard to avoid? Or how did that work for you and your siblings, too? You know, there's so many. we they didn't speak enough English so they were not really targets okay um me personally uh

if all of those gang bangers knew that i was i don't know how but they respected that i was one of the kids in the neighborhood that everybody knew was going to get out because of my mind and so i recall an incident one time we're a really young gangbanger was you know kind of got in my way on my way to school and one of the older guys pushed him aside and he said hey bro don't never mess with that kid right there bro that kid is going to make us look good someday he's going to go to school and show people what we can be you are what we have to be he is what we can be so don't ever fuck with him and nobody ever fuck with this kid he is not a gangbanger and he never will be.

And that's what I got from those guys. That's what I received from them. But here's a guy who was very intelligent, who probably had a great idea. Like I know a guy that I was growing up who before they had taco trucks had the idea to do a taco truck and could not get alone. And those ideas just sometimes die on the grapevine. because they don't have the health that they need or the person that they need or the

nepotism required or the friend in the right place. And so the respect that I got from those guys was that that guy was smart. And I think he saw a little bit of him and me. And I think that he kind of just went, I don't want you to be me. I want you to be what I should have been. Yeah. That's amazing. You looked out for you that way.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I never saw it. I don't know why right now. It's hitting me really hard. But wow, I've never really lived in that moment to really see his pain in it. I just was grateful. You know what I mean? But now that I'm kind of thinking about the fact that I was just a version of him that couldn't exist when he was growing up, that's he wanted to give someone else an opportunity that he didn't have because he saw. himself and you, you know, that's cool. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm character and a little

local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb. www.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos,

where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump role star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom,

it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for a hundred of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence.

That's Sierra Teller Ornelis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you ever connect with the neighborhood anymore, or is that? I do, but it's so hard, bro, because, you know, when I go back, you know, I see the, I see the old guy and I knew and he's still alive, but his teeth are missing. And, you know, I see the drug. abuse signs and they ask me for money, you know what I mean? Or they, or they're embarrassed.

Yeah. That's the worst, bro. Yeah. The worst is when I go to the 7-Eleven, because my brother, he doesn't live too far from where we grew up. So we still go down to the 7-Ele that hovers between these two neighborhoods, East L.A. on one side, a floral, and Monterey Park on the other side, which is a pretty affluent, decent neighborhood. Yeah. And I still go there and, you know, every once in a while, it's happened where I go there and they see me and they try to hide and I just pretend I didn't see them because they're embarrassed of what they look like

or they're high or they're drunk or they're whatever and you know that's that's hard for me too bro you know what do you do because I've helped I mean dude I've given millions of dollars to family and friends of help right now I just sent a bunch of money to a couple

of buddies in mine that are dealing with some stuff in Houston because of the hurricane and so you know I I give back, but it's hard, bro. It's, that's tough to see that. So real, real quick, because I know we're going along here, but like real quick, just getting into the comedy space, it's the kid, you know, when did that happen?

When did you know you were funny? When did you know that this could be a career for you? You know, were you a young kid telling jokes? Were you like, were you the guy or no? I was not that guy. I was the young guy that always didn't, I didn't see the math. in in things right my brain was meant to write comedy to write things of that nature so like here's an example when i would hear gang bangers go i hate white people white people suck

fuck white people i would in my head go well if you hate white people how come you only shoot mexican like that doesn't make sense to me if you hate white people then stop shooting us and go shoot white people like that so that thought or thoughts like that got it always in my head yeah the problem was i was around my mom a lot and my mother she knew me really well and she would spot whatever look i had in my face and she would either smack me in the back of the head or grab me by the ear or look at me in the eye and go you better not say what you're thinking not here not now that was her thing right it's inappropriate here and now what happened was when I'm 19 and I discovered comedy I discovered the place where my mother can't tell me not here not now this is actually the place where all those thoughts belong and so every thought that I had as a kid of moments like that became a joke became fodder and because I have 11 sisters

and eight of them were born in a row before me. So there was a period of time when I was growing up where there were nine women in my house and just me and my dad. So I tell this story about one time my dad got pissed because we used to have to go downstairs in the backyard and use the water hose sometimes to shower up in the morning

because you can imagine everybody goes to work in school at the same time. time we have one one bathroom right that has a shower in it and nine women oh my gosh so exactly so my dad one time got pissed and he said he knocked on the door and said if you don't open the door i swear to god and three of my sisters were like whatever dad so my dad went downstairs and he made me hold his two hands while he squatted over the kitchen scene ink and took a dump in the kitchen. That's how we dealt with those moments.

And now I get to, instead of being the crazy fun uncle at the parties who gets, you know, drunk and tells everybody these awesome stories on Carlos, we can see the comedian. They go on stage and tell these really great funny stories. Yeah. So I was always meant to do this. And, of course, there was resistance when I first started from my family. I had a degree in electrical engineering.

So my family was pissed when I started doing stand-up. Yeah. So they literally had an intervention for me. I came home on a Sunday. All these people are waiting. They're all there to tell me how I'm ruining my life, how I'm stupid. To quote my mom, get a job, and then you can tell jokes at whatever job you have. But you don't have to do this.

Right. And thank God. my dad he never came he didn't come to America for success or money my dad came to America

to literally achieve the American dream which is to be the best that you can be at anything and whatever that is

and have the opportunity to be whatever you want so the thing was during this intervention my dad started getting drunk he started drinking because it took too long there were like 40 people there

so by the time I got to dad, I said to my dad, because I noticed about him, I go, dad, I do remember when I was about 10 years old and you kissed me on the cheek under the Christmas tree and you said, Miho, I came to this country so that you could be whatever you want? I said, you're the most important voice in my life. I don't give a shit about what they say, but I care about what you think. What do you think I should do? And my dad, he goes, you know what? And he wants to be a clown. Fuck it. Let him juggle. And I would say, dude. That was it. That was the stamp of my career. Cut to two years later, I went international star search. We're at the after party. I hear it, bling, bling, bling. Everybody turns around.

My mom's on the stage, raises a glass, and says, you know, ever since he was a little boy, I knew that he was going to be somebody special. Oh, my God. Dude, I swear to God, I was. about to yell bullshit. And my dad smacks you in the same. And I'm like, what are you doing? You know she's bullshit.

And my dad is like, I know, but she's happy and she's drinking. I'm getting late tonight. Don't fuck it up for me. And I was like, and that was, you know, but she was about to, well, actually, she did. She, you know, she continued with it and said that when I was born, there was a star in the sky. And she always knew what she always supported. She created some sort of a story that makes her look like I knew my son was going to be. Oh shit.

She had an intervention. If it was up to her, I'd be working for Exxon or some fucking company like that right now. You know what I mean? Amazing. Well, cause has been fucking great, dude. It's been really fun talking to you. Give us the show at Harris. What are you doing?

Is it a residency? Yeah, I got a residency at Harris. It's been going great, man. Two weeks in. Yeah. man we're already getting repeat customers we're already getting like people are just saying the best thing i'm hearing that right now it's the best comedy show on the strip and i've only been doing it like i said two weeks so harris on uh sundays every sunday every monday yeah i thought that would make a difference

by the way that goddamn place is packed every day like if you don't leave your room and you just walk around and don't look at clocks or anything you would never know a weekend from from a tuesday No, that's Vegas. They just, they suck you into that vortex and don't let you out, you know. Yeah. And so my thing is just trying to hang out with the right people. So right now I know I'm hanging out with the right people because after the show, we go downstairs to the lounge and smoke a cigar.

Perfect. So I know, exactly. I know. Perfect. You know, we've had to say no to three or four invitations of, you know, let's not go in the next day. It's like, so what did you do last night? Oh, my God, bro. I can't get out of that.

I feel horrible. I'm like, yep. I'm staying away from that shit, dude. Dude, I know. Vegas is hard, too. A lot of temptation there where you're just like, oh, fuck. Well, dude, I'll come check you out. If I'm in Vegas, I'm in Colorado now for a little bit.

I'll be back in August. But, you know, I want to come to you. Let me know, man. to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me.

I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex.

No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia.

Had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it. Five, six white people pushed me in the car. I'm going, what about that out? Basically, your stay-at-home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin. All you got to do is receive the package. Don't have to open it, just accept it. She was very upset, crying. Once I saw the gun, I tried to take her. his hand and I saw the flash of light. Listen to the Chinatown Sting on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts.

This is an IHeart podcast.