Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Erinn and Ollie: Going Through It Together

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

Erinn and Ollie are back for another episode and this week they get candid about going through the hard stuff together. They discuss supporting someone through their anxiety and depression, share advi...ce for couples who may have lost their spark, and more.Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by:Boll & Branch (www.bollandbranch.com PROMO CODE: Sibling)Sakara (www.sakara.com/sibling)Squarespace (www.squarespace.com/sibling PROMO CODE: Sibling)Oak Essentials (www.oakessentials.com PROMO CODE: Sibling)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece, we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special.
Starting point is 00:00:21 So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature. You can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest.
Starting point is 00:00:44 There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Stephanie Beatriz. And Melissa Fumero, and this is More Better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals. And we're ready to share some possibly questionable advice and hot takes. God, that sucks so hard though. I'm so sorry. Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies? Yeah. All the things.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Because aren't we all trying to get a little more better? Listen to more better on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Sibling Ravelry. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling Reveory. That's good. Well, we're in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I'm doing a television show here. I say television because no one says television anymore.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Everyone just says TV. but I like to use the whole word and finished today's work. It was fine, but yesterday was special because my wife, Aaron Hudson, say hi. Hi. She auditioned for a part in the show, she got it. She plays my estranged wife and we did a scene together on camera that will be on TV. It was pretty awesome. The last time we did a scene together was almost exactly 20 years ago when I met you.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Which actually means that it was more than 20. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. You're right. Paired together in a scene. Little did I know that, you know, I'd have three kids with you. So what was it like?
Starting point is 00:03:27 working with me I mean was I professional yes that's it that's it I thought you took a breath to say something
Starting point is 00:03:42 I was waiting for you I was professional that I made you feel at ease where you were you know you were nervous but it was just what it felt like was going to the set
Starting point is 00:03:56 all these years, right, just with you working, but just coming as like your wife or your girl for Aaron or whatever, it didn't really feel that different. It literally felt like, you know, I'm always kind of on set and that kind of stuff with you. So that part didn't feel any different. It felt great. It almost felt like, you know, I'm in the trailer. I'm everywhere. I'm at the craft service with you, all that kind of stuff. So all of that, you know what I mean? But. But, yeah, I don't know. It. It, it's.
Starting point is 00:04:27 It was comforting to have you there. It just felt like... I know. It was fun. But then you, you know, like everyone does, you sort of spiral afterwards. Like, did I do a good job? And at night, I mean, I haven't acted in a hundred years. It was, you know, like so many different things going on where it's like, what am I doing?
Starting point is 00:04:51 Like, I don't know what I'm doing. And, you know, it just felt there was a mixture of... like emotions, I would say, because it was fun. It was exciting. I, like, loved it. He looked hot. I felt like I had never, you know, like. You looked good.
Starting point is 00:05:05 I thought you looked good. Oh, thanks, poop. Except your eyebrows. Yeah, they looked a little dark for you or something. They, like, darkened your eyebrows. It was like so dark. Guys are so particular and noticed funny. I was like, whoa, geez, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:05:20 And then one was a little thicker than the other, you know? Yeah. Well, you noticed it. I did. So I'm coming off of, if anyone listens to this podcast or even daddy issues. You know, they know that these last four or five months have been gnarly for me. As far as my anxiety goes and trying to figure all that shit out. And then in the middle of it, I get these job offers and one's going to take me away from the family,
Starting point is 00:05:49 which just fucking took me into another direction. Anyway, trying to get the chemistry right. It's been a rough four or five, definitely have come out of it. Being here was good. It was scary at first. But I'm here now and, you know, I came out of my insanity. But you had to deal with it. You had to be the wife, you know, of a guy who was just having anxiety.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Go and throw it. I did. I did. Not the first time. Not the first time. You've had some practice. So, yeah. Yeah, when I was in my 20s, I had a gnarly episode of like eight months, and that's when Aaron and I first started dating.
Starting point is 00:06:40 So she's already had to deal with that. But then having to deal with it now, was it hard for you? Yeah. I mean, it's so hard when you can't help your partner. or take away their, you know, pain or discomfort or whatever they're going through. So for me especially, that's, like, really hard to not be able to help somebody or, you know, want to make them feel better. Was it frustrating? No, it was not.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Really? You never were frustrated with method? Just like, get the fuck over it. Not in a mean way, but just like, oh, my God. Like I can't. I think this is the difference. This time I have a little more perspective and a little more insight. I remember your first time that you were going through it
Starting point is 00:07:32 where I had no, you know, kind of education on the depths of anxiety. I was very, you know, I judged it. I didn't understand it. That's when I had a little less patience. Yeah, because I was like, wait, what the fuck do you have to be anxious about? Like, it was that surface judgment of like, life is so good. Oh, of course, on fucking paper. I mean, I'm the luckiest man alive.
Starting point is 00:08:01 No, I'm saying even back then on paper. Of course. But what I just, it took me a while and it's taken me a long time and a lot of, you know, kind of research and talking and to understanding it. So this time, you know, there's just more patience involved because I realize how little control you have over it or how, you know, had and just also how physical it was for you and how, you know, you just could not see, see past it. It's just that irrational thinking. But, you know, when you see your partner working really hard and, you know, trying a lot of different things and,
Starting point is 00:08:45 you know, wanting to fix himself or help himself as well, then you can't. help but not, you know, be patient. Does that make sense? No, I know it does, of course, of course. But, you know, patience runs thin. There were certain days where I would cry, like certain days, you know. You would cry? Yeah, at a couple days.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Alone, like when I didn't see? Yeah, well, like where I just was like scared a little, you know. It was this feeling of like, oh my God, like, is he, you know. You would like walk into another room and just crying? Well, yeah, it was like, I wasn't like purposely walking away. It was maybe I was in a car. or I wasn't with you or something. But, and I just felt frustrated myself.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I felt helpless. I was like, oh, my God. The only times that I got a little frustrated were when, you know, I was like, why don't you maybe try going back? Yeah. You just, I was a little. Well, I was resistant to me back on medication because it just didn't want to. And, you know, I'd weaned off and blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:09:47 And, you know, and then it got to the point where I was like, fuck, man. I can't. I got to do something because I can't just stay in this hole. Well, you also went through such a range of emotions. What are you doing? Meaning in the very beginning there was, you know, irritability. Or then there was anger or then there was. Should I sit up too?
Starting point is 00:10:10 Now you're like, you're sitting up. Like, you're getting serious. Look at your pose. So for those listening, like we were lounging. Her legs were intertwined, man, just chilling. And we're like, let's put the podcast cassette on and talk into these microphones. And then all of a sudden, boom, she throws my legs over, sits up all proper. Well, honestly, my legs were getting a little tired in that position.
Starting point is 00:10:41 That's it? Yeah. I read too far into them. Okay. I over. I just wanted, and then I just like sat up. and I was talking. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:53 So you weren't getting like more serious? Like, oh, shit. Now we're, we're fucking getting into this. Like, I'm going to sit up now and this is, this isn't loungy talk. No, it was not that conscious. Sorry. All right. What were you saying?
Starting point is 00:11:07 Do you remember? Nope. Anyone, anyone? Anyone remember what we were talking about? No, we were talking about what we were going through, what you were going through, how you were handling it. Oh, right. Remember?
Starting point is 00:11:22 Yes. Yeah. Now I remember. Medication, me deciding to go back on medication, you know, because I just couldn't, I was trying everything that I could do. Well, I would say this. You were put into a time, you know, kind of constraint. That's true.
Starting point is 00:11:42 That's true. I had time constraints. You were taking your time. You were doing a lot of different things. You were starting with, you know, mental health and exercise and wellness. and, you know, meditation and just, you know, all of these things. And then you got a job that was going to take you away from your kind of family and this and that.
Starting point is 00:12:01 It really just like sped up the process a little bit of saying, all right. Yeah, but I'm glad, you know, I'm glad that it did. I'm glad that I'm on a smaller dosage right now of Lexapro. Yeah, I think there should be no, you know, stigma. It's this thing about going back on medicine. or getting off them or no fucking problem with it at all I mean zero I have no issue whatsoever I mean and it's it's I think it's even me out you think oh my God it's like night well explain that because look look there are probably a lot of people who are not the ones dealing with depression or anxiety but are the spouses of friends of, partners of. Well, I would say this.
Starting point is 00:12:53 That perspective is rarely explored. You know what I mean? It's all about the subject. But what about sort of the victim of the subject in a sense? Well, okay, it started with it, you know, long story short, it is, you do feel helpless when, you know, there's nothing you can do to help your partner. That's hard. I would say that's the number one part that was, you know, difficult for me. you know, seeing you struggle and knowing things that in the past have maybe helped you or worked out or whatever weren't.
Starting point is 00:13:26 And then you were frustrated, like you said, about me not getting on medication sort of sooner, meaning like you were like, and you were very subtle, not subtle to me because I know you so well. You were handling me with kid gloves because you're like, so like, what about? Like, remember when you were on? You know, it was very sort of like, oh, like I'm just going to pet you a little bit and remind you that these drugs worked for you. Yeah, they did. They did. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:14:03 But I was resistant. Well, it was, you were, it was like a complete personality switch because you were resistant. You were negative. You know, everything was bad. Everything was down. There was just a, you know, sense of, like, doom and, you know, doubt and insecurity. What if they don't work? And what if I do this?
Starting point is 00:14:29 What if they don't? You know, there's just a lot of, like. Well, when you're in that hole of, like, you just can't see outside of it. And you're like, what the fuck? Like, nothing is going to work. There's no contentment. Yep. You can't find a place of hope.
Starting point is 00:14:46 or contentment, you're just like... You've had a lot of therapy. You're obviously, you know... Well, rationally, I'm like, oh, I know what the fuck's happening. I know what's happening, but I just can't seem to find my way out of it. I have moments, like there'd be bouts of normalcy. Yeah. And then there's that sort of fall, that tumble into anxiety.
Starting point is 00:15:15 And there was times where it was like that. like, for me, I was like, okay, do you want to talk about it? Because sometimes it makes you feel better. It does, honestly. Other times it was like, I don't want to bring it up because it's almost like, then it's, you know, then you're talking about it. And then you would start to spiral or obsess a little or, you know, it was always, I felt like it was always.
Starting point is 00:15:32 But every time I did talk to you, which wasn't all the time, you know, when I have, when I, when I was going through, whatever I was going through, I go inward. Sometimes people with anxiety, it comes out and everyone talking, it's blurting. It's this, that, that's a tank, gang, gang, I can. Gank, gank. Me, for me, it was more inward. So when I did have conversations with you and I was able to sort of open up, it would definitely make me feel better. You know, it puts you at ease just a tad.
Starting point is 00:15:59 But it's funny because it's been about six or seven days now since I haven't even thought about being anxious. Like, I was in the bathroom a minute ago in the shower and I'm like, oh shit, I forgot to take my pills. and you know you are on the road to recovery or that you have sort of a normalcy about you when you are forgetting to take your medication. That's when it's like, oh, it kicked in. That's when you know. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:30 When does it kick in? Oh, when you start forgetting to take it. Because in the beginning, I was like meticulous about it. I was almost looking forward to waking up to taking the next dose because I needed it to get into my system so that I could feel okay. Right. Yep, I know that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:48 But now I'm like, oh, shit, I forgot. That's when you know, like, oh, right. Sakara, we love Sakara. Sikara, one of our oldest support systems slash sponsors slash friends. feeling your best starts with what you eat. We all know this. Sakara gives you the ability not to just eat healthy, but to truly enjoy it.
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Starting point is 00:18:25 and how important your sheets are when you sleep. We're going to tie all of that together with bowl and branch because bowl and branch are amazing sheets that are on my beds and my house. And I feel close to these presidents because apparently a couple presidents and it's also used them. So I love my Boland Branch. They started with a mission, okay, Bowling Branch.
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Starting point is 00:20:19 but there was a sense of that kind of tiptoeing around, you know, just like managing you, you like what was the day going to bring, you know, what was the mood? You were catering to me in the sense of like, well, whatever's going to make you happy. Well, not, yeah, not like happy, but just like feel good. I feel normal. There was such a sense of, like, you know, fear. And like, I couldn't leave you.
Starting point is 00:20:43 The kids or where are you going or what do we do? You know, it was like, you couldn't make decisions. I know. And it sucks for me. It sucked for me because you feel that. I feel that. And then you just feel like a shell, like less than. You're like, oh, my God, I can't even just make my own decisions.
Starting point is 00:21:00 I can't even fucking, you know. But I didn't judge that, by the way. I didn't feel shame. ever i was like yeah this is what i'm fucking going through it's a bummer i hate that i'm not being able to you know be my normal self but i never felt shame about it no no no that was crazy no it was more just like knowing you were going to get through it but like a lot of the you know you couldn't really handle social stuff and then you know yeah it didn't go out much but you try to fight through it you know try to mountain bike you try to like you know get on your
Starting point is 00:21:36 motorcycle you know i gotta but everything all day is just kind of but oh as i was saying though it's been six or seven days since i haven't even thought about really anything i think i'm you know turned a major corner but we only started talking about how i'm feeling today we have not talked about it in forever where when i was going through it in the middle of it it was every every not every not even every day it was every two or three hours where it was you know talked about constant and in the last seven days it's been we had one conversation there was one no we had one here no no but before that there was one little talk about it
Starting point is 00:22:19 remember where I was like I don't even I don't even want to talk about it because I don't want to jinx it right and then I brought it up here and we got into it and we started talking about it I was like yeah you know I feel pretty fucking good and you were like oh my god I know like I haven't wanted to say anything yeah because I didn't want to jinx it I didn't want to like put that thought into your head. Yep. So then you started to become aware and, you know, think about it and then get nervous or, you know, just any of that.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Well, it's just so interesting from the other perspective, you know, just from your perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Did you talk to like, do you talk to behind my back about my? I mean, I talked to my friends. You know my friends that know about it all the time. So what would you say to your friends? Like my husband's like crazy.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Oh, it's like my best friends who are checking. on you and know that it's you know pretty gnarly and i'd just be like it's fucking tough right now but you know he's hanging in there and i just i knew that it was going to be okay i knew that eventually i was hoping you were just you know going to feel better doing the work you know yeah i knew i was going to be okay but it is a little embarrassing to be honest to like to who who are you what is what because like your friends like I know they all know you know you my friends yeah I know you tell your friends everything which I love
Starting point is 00:23:48 and so I'm not mad about it but at the same time it's like you know they know and it's like oh you can feel their sympathy right you know you know I'm like, oh, fuck, and it's like, look, you guys, like, yeah, thank you for caring. I know, but it's like, I'm not, it's going to be fine. Like, are you saying that? Are you saying that's what I should be saying?
Starting point is 00:24:15 That's what I'm thinking in my mind. Oh, and me too, and they all knew that. No, no, but it's like, are you okay? No, it's more like, hey, how's it going? Like, how's Ollie? Like, they just want to know he's okay. You're okay. Euro?
Starting point is 00:24:29 Euro. you know i'm also here's the thing those are my close friends but i had so many people and things that i had to just be like you know makeup with their weird things like you know i'm not telling everybody but there's so much stuff that we you know either didn't do if you don't if you didn't tell anyone i ended up telling everybody anyway of course also my best friends you know are going to know people knew that you were not you know like yourself you know you You know what I mean? I think about it like Eric, the first thing in the summer,
Starting point is 00:25:06 you like straight upset something to you without even knowing a thing. I know, I know. Do you know what I mean? You okay, buddy? That's like so we do you see once a summer. You're okay, buddy? I mean, once, you know, the summer, yeah. He like noticed it, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:25:21 I'm just saying, like, it wasn't like unnoticeable, but I'm glad you're back. I know. What if I'm not? Like what tomorrow are you going to wake up? I mean, then it's okay that we start over from scratch. That's it. I keep going. I mean, the thing is, it's like when you say anxiety, I think people don't understand.
Starting point is 00:25:52 They think that just means like, ooh, you know, anxious about something. But, you know, it's... Oh, yeah, but, yeah, I think people get it. I think there's more people who are sort of suffering, for lack of a better word, from that, than we even know. Oh, absolutely. Are you kidding? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:11 For sure. For sure. Well, it's still good in bed, even though I was, like, anxious. Like, I was like, I can't breathe, but I'm just going to keep going. My throat's closing, but. Yeah, it's okay. Are you close? No, you kind of still had it going on.
Starting point is 00:26:34 I think that was, like, a good sign to me. I know. Sometimes it was tough, though. I'm sure. I wasn't my, like, I was, you know, I was definitely in the bed, you know, I'm still, like, you know, making a nice effort. Oh, yeah. But pushing through.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Right. You know, that little bit I just did. It's like, you know, somewhat of a joke, but at the same time. I do remember you. My throat is closing, but I'm, yeah. Yeah, I just, I guess, bent over. Yeah, I bent over, but like I can't breathe. I can't breathe, but I just bent over.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I don't know. There was a couple times where I remember being like, is he, this is either going to be great and, like, distract him or he might have a heart attack in the middle. I know. Sex is still pretty good, though, after 20 years. Yeah. Yeah, even besides your, like, anxiety time.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Just in general? Yep. Why? I have to agree. You say you, you say why you think why. And I will say, why I think why. Let me preface it by saying,
Starting point is 00:27:53 it's not just good. It's better than it's ever been. Oh, yeah. But it's just progressively gotten better and better and better. And it's very strange, honestly. But why do you think? I think a couple things. I think if the chemistry is there, you know, just like maybe if someone can say, oh, you know, the chemistry can fade.
Starting point is 00:28:19 I think it can also intensify. But it's, you know, the foundation is there. Like, you know, literally, like chemically, you know. pheromones, whatever you want to say, there's a chemical attraction. So I think that's like number one. And I think over the past few years there's been such a vulnerability and a trust that has been kind of earned. And that creates, you know, such intimacy in a way that the connection and I, you know, it's just intensifies certain things.
Starting point is 00:28:56 It sounds kind of corny and like romantic, but. um it's corny it may it may sound corny from from your perspective because you're female and it seems like a female thing to say but i was going to say the exact same thing honestly from a male perspective from my perspective because i think a lot of what you're talking about the vulnerability the intimacy the trust in our situation had to come from me. And so the minute that I could
Starting point is 00:29:35 make you trust me unconditionally, well, not unconditionally. That doesn't make any sense, actually. Fully in that moment, the minute I was vulnerable and able to sort of open up, then you were
Starting point is 00:29:52 able to let your guard down more. Mm-hmm. And that translates to sex, sexuality being able to sort of be as free as you want to be so for sure that's it and also I think that it's been a slow burn in a sense there's more to explore after 20 years which is weird to say there's more to explore because there are things that you hold back you know me I don't know I mean is there anything like mysterious about me no fucking way i mean i'm literally sitting here to butt ass naked on a bed um you know and there's nothing
Starting point is 00:30:39 more to explore on this dude you also have your freshly showered wash hair that gets really fluffy pompador i look crazy it's so unattractive it's fucking nuts there's nothing more to mine That's it Tapped out The only thing that would be better is if you looked out and had socks on Which a lot of the times you do Is your dad going to listen to that? No, because we're going to cut it out
Starting point is 00:31:12 No, we're not Your dad doesn't order Your dad has no idea to like listen to a podcast I think he does Has he listened to us on this part? Yeah. He has? Yeah. On his like weird phone?
Starting point is 00:31:28 It's like Galaxy 10? I don't know, I guess, maybe. I'd have to find out. Your dad's cool, though. He won't care. No, he thinks we've had sex three times, probably. Wilder, buddy, Rio? Yep.
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Starting point is 00:33:21 And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Sibling to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Ooh, Oak Essential. So this is a fun one. So I'm really excited about this being one of our new ads because she's actually a friend of mine. Jenny Kane is a lovely woman. She does beautiful nits.
Starting point is 00:33:46 She has a gorgeous home line. She's like everything Jenny does is quality, clean, and cozy. So I am a regular. Jenny Kane shopper. She is launching her new skincare brand. It's called Oak Essential. So it is a clean foundational skincare for everybody at every age. I actually just put some Oak Essentials on my face maybe, I don't know, 35 minutes ago. I was in the bathroom and I always need moisturizer for my face. And my wife is the one who is always providing me that moisturizer. I use whatever she's using. And she says, oh, use this. And I put it on my face and it was
Starting point is 00:34:30 our oak essentials. And I was like, God damn, this is really good from someone who doesn't know a ton about facial moisturizer. It was awesome. It's guided by nature's power to sustain, replenish, and the formulas, they're non-GMO, organic whenever possible. Always free from synthetic fragrances, silicones, silicates. Here it is, Ali, fethylates. Phithalates, phthalates, parabins, P-E-Gs, petroleum, mineral oil, and nanoparticles. So basically, she's really making a very beautiful, clean product, if that's the kind of thing that you're into.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Oak Essentials aims to inspire women from all walks of life to celebrate aging gracefully. And men, I want to age gracefully, too, you know, without Botox. Crafted for women at any age, these highly, or men, These highly effective essentials serve as the ultimate foundation for glowing healthy skin, whether you're starting from scratch or you're filling in the gaps. Oak Essentials makes skin care one less thing to worry about. So reveal your best skin with Oak Essentials at oak essentials.com.
Starting point is 00:35:38 You can purchase the entire five-step routine for $195 or try your first product for 15% off when you use code sibling at checkout. That's O-A-K-E-S-E-S-E-N-T-I-L-S dot com. promo code, Sibling. On a scale of 1 to 10, how important do you think sex is in a marriage? One being it's just non-existent, really, and then 10 being it's, you know. Well, 10 would probably be like your marriage is just about sex. like only sex or sexual or?
Starting point is 00:36:20 Well, I guess, let me forget the one to ten. Let me rephrase it like. How important? Well, how, how much does sex play into a long lasting, healthy relationship? I mean, I think a long, I mean, a lot. I was going to say high, like eight or nines when you were giving me a scale of one to ten. but do you have friends who are in a like sexless marriage yes you do yes and they're still in it and and it's is it bad is the marriage bad or the relationship like um i don't think it's great
Starting point is 00:37:08 because of that and that's why meaning is everything else sort of firing on all cylinders no No. It's not. So do you think, is it chicken or the egg, right? Do you think that if they were to have sex, then things might get better? Or do you think they have to sort of shore up and heal whatever it is to then have good sex? Well, this specific relationship or do you think, you know, just in general? Well, just general.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Let's just go general. Okay, yeah. That's a hard one, I think, depends. Because, you know, it's like if you said if they're having, if they have sex, maybe that will heal the other issues. Right. Well, they feel the intimacy. They feel the connection, the consummation. Right.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Or is it that they have to feel, you know, the connection to have the sex? Right. Shaking her the egg. Yeah, that's a good one. Would you say that typically women have to. feel a connection to want to have sex. Yes. And men have to have sex to feel the connection.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Yes. I would definitely, generally obviously, you know, now we're getting into all that. But yes, I would say it's usually one or the other. And I would say it's usually that would be it. You know what we've done over the years, actually, that we've always talked about marketing and creating games. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:44 And Jenga. Yeah. You know, we're going to say it right now and it'll be fucking stolen, but, you know, whatever, right? It's not like that big of an idea, but it's just we've had a lot of fun doing it. Well, they have, you know. Well, they have sex. But you have to create your own. The fucking sex games out there, whatever, like you go and you buy or whatever, they're lame.
Starting point is 00:39:09 They're not dirty and they're not like gnarly questions. It's like, you know. Yeah. Like, what would you do if your wife's boobie comes down? Milton Bradley or something, you know. Milton Bradley? I don't know. Isn't that like a game?
Starting point is 00:39:24 Yeah. Like in the 50s. Like imagine Milton Bradley like, hmm, I wonder. Literally like the Milton Bradley like home like creator or, you know, it was like in Long Meadow like Springfield area or East Longmeadow or something. Oh, really? Yeah. Milton? Bradley.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Look it up. We have to call like the Garvey girls. By the way, who? When was the last time anyone named their son Milton? I mean, think about that. Have you heard the, have you heard the name Milton? Ever? It was probably two surnames maybe, like Milton and Bradley, like somebody Milton and somebody
Starting point is 00:40:11 Bradley, that's my guess. Oh, you think it was two creators, like John Milton and Douglas Bradley? Yes. Oh, maybe. I don't even know. I don't know. I'm looking it up. Milton Bradley.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Oh, no. I think it's a person. Yeah. It's a person, Milton, Bradley. Is it? Yeah. Okay, so we, I don't listen to podcasts, you know, like normally, and you don't either really that much.
Starting point is 00:40:38 No, besides. What? Smartless. That's what I was going to say. Oh, oh, oh. You said it. I was leading up since. But smartless.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Yeah, Milton Bradley, Springfield, Massachusetts. Sorry. Oh, look at that fucking guy. Oh, my God. He was born in 1836. He died in 1911. Mm-hmm. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:59 And he was born in Springfield, Massachusetts. Wow. Oh, no. Oh, no. Maine. And then he died in Springfield. Oh. Wow.
Starting point is 00:41:09 So back to the sex thing real quick, though, because we didn't talk about it. We discovered this. Oh, did we discover this on our honeymoon? Is that when we first did sexual yachts? Yes, because we brought travel yachtsie with us on the airplane and the train. That's right. That's why. We brought travel yachtsy on our honeymoon or something.
Starting point is 00:41:30 No, but we did boggle two, but Yatsy was the first. We did Yotsie. And we played. No one thing we had both on that. Yeah, but we played sexual yachts. Yeah. And what we did was if you know Yatsi, you roll the dice and it's a poker hand. So you're making, you know, pairs, three of a kind, four of a kind, full house, straight, straight flush. With the dice. With the dice. And you get a certain amount of rolls. And then if you get Yatsi, it's 50 points. And it's when you get all of the same number. And each category represents a certain amount of points. We took the points away. And we wrote second. sexual favors that we would want done to us or we would want to do to the other person in those lines. So instead of 20 points for a straight flush or whatever, it would be, you know, go down on me for 20 seconds, boom.
Starting point is 00:42:27 And we wrote those in. And then we played Yahtzee. And so when Aaron got two, you know, got three of a kind, it was like, oh, three of a kind and you read it. And it's like, got, got, got, but da, but da, but da, blah. It was like it would get really, like, dirty. Oh, yeah. Sometimes it would get dirty and sometimes it was like, just like kiss, you know, make out for this without touching or little things. Sometimes it would be like, you know, like.
Starting point is 00:42:52 It's okay. You don't have to say what are you going to say right now? Oh, no. Okay. It's enough. People can use their own imagination. Fine. But anyway, it's crazy because the rules of the game that you create for yourselves are you can.
Starting point is 00:43:09 can't just fucking go at it. So then you do that sexual favorite, but then you don't have sex. Like, that's the rule. And it builds it up. Yeah, because you have to play the whole game until somebody wins and it's...
Starting point is 00:43:20 That's a game changer. I mean, we didn't need it, need it. It was just like super fun. It was fun because we're on a honeymoon sitting in our town. I know what we've done it since. Like even it's not a honeymoon. But what I'm saying is my point is that
Starting point is 00:43:32 for people who have lost a little bit of spark, you know what I mean? Are you saying we last week? Play that shit. No, and I'm saying we didn't. I'm saying for people who did. Right. You play that game.
Starting point is 00:43:48 It creates something. And then we did it with Jenga. Well, it's also, you're just kind of recreating your foreplay, you know, which can kind of go to the wayside or get rushed sometimes. But what this does is it creates a curious. It's a mystery, too, of like, what's next? meaning like the order is all over the place. So you could all of a sudden it could be something crazy that you start with. And then you're back to like a little T's and a little thing.
Starting point is 00:44:18 And then, you know. And it could be like three things in a row that you're doing to your partner. Right. Right, right, right, right. And then it's like goes back to you or, you know, it's just, it plongs it. And, you know, I mean. And then Jenga too is the same. Remember we wrote on the blocks.
Starting point is 00:44:34 so when you pull out a block it's like instead of you know you write on the sides and it's like whatever it is you want to do or have done boom I think it's extremely important yeah going back to that
Starting point is 00:44:49 very important yeah because otherwise I could you know if I had no if we didn't if you don't have a sexual relationship then I might as well be raising kids with you know my best friend yeah which I mean
Starting point is 00:45:03 You know, nothing against that. I'm sure there's some people that do that. No, yeah, no, for sure. But I don't think there's people. I mean, it might be, but not a lot of people. Who's raising a kid with their best friend. I mean, that's weird. I know you're trying to be PC.
Starting point is 00:45:20 I get that, but I'm just saying, like, when you really think about it. I'm saying that they've become best friends or they've decided to stay, like, you know, just platonic. Oh, you mean, after the fact. Yeah, it's not like, hey, to your best friend. Do you want to raise a kid with me? like hey let's raise this kid no okay so you're meaning they're together and now they're best friends okay okay no no for sure no i thought i was taking it a different way well this was fun i love talking to you all right hey brooks bartlett father of aaron bartlett if you listen to this
Starting point is 00:45:56 i'm sorry pal All right. Love you. Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Alison Bresden. Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love, rate the show and leave us a review. This show is powered by Simplecast.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Jude Ice. Welcome to Casual Chaos. I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent.
Starting point is 00:46:54 This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to casual chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Stephanie Beatriz. And Melissa Fumero, and this is more better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you. Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals. And we're ready to share some possibly questionable advice and hot takes. God, that sucks so hard, though.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I'm so sorry. Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies? Yeah. All the things. Because aren't we all trying to get a little more better? Listen to more better on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Don't let biased algorithms or degree screens or exclusive professional networks or
Starting point is 00:47:40 stereotypes. Don't let anything keep you from discovering the half of the workforce who are stars. Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time to tear the paper ceiling and see the stars beyond it. Find out how you can make stars part of your talent strategy at tear the paper sealing.org brought to you by opportunity at work. in that council. This is an IHeart podcast.

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